Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,729 --> 00:00:29,430
Now that's going to swell up.
2
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:34,050
My God, they're kicking off his pants.
Oh, now that's humiliating. How's he
3
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:36,550
going to be able to walk down the street
again with dick in him?
4
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:37,790
Oh, heads up, heads up.
5
00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:42,350
Go ahead and run, you jackals!
6
00:00:43,430 --> 00:00:45,890
But you can't stop me or the freedom of
the press!
7
00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:49,090
God, it was a vicious mob.
8
00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:52,130
Didn't you hear me out there? Why didn't
you help?
9
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:55,360
Well, I don't know, Jack. I guess we
figured you should be able to handle
10
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,360
old ladies.
11
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,440
They weren't old ladies.
12
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,160
They were big Shirley Dowagers with
large handbags and a lot of heavy, blunt
13
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,160
jewelry.
14
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,500
Well, Jack, I hate to say I told you so,
but when you write a column about how
15
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,100
the wealthy should pay all the taxes,
you gotta expect some backlash.
16
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,320
And, uh, by the way, if you had a beer
in your hand, you'd look just like my
17
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,320
father.
18
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:20,580
Oh, my God, what happened to you? Oh,
Wally, a pack of angry readers attacked
19
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,810
me. Wow, they really roughed you up.
20
00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:24,870
What is this mark here?
21
00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:27,170
Well, this looks like quilting.
22
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,870
Jack, were you hit in the face with a
Chanel bag?
23
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,450
Oh, man, Chip.
24
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,510
Is she pretending to be blind?
25
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:48,350
Hoo -ah!
26
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:55,990
fooled you, didn't I?
27
00:01:56,510 --> 00:02:00,530
Okay, I'll be the jerk who bites. What's
this all about, Kip? I am on my way to
28
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:03,910
Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Next
week, I am being tested for the TV
29
00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:04,910
of Scent of a Woman.
30
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,570
For Al's part, of course.
31
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,449
But it's not going to be easy. There are
two other guys up for the part.
32
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:10,690
So?
33
00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:11,870
They're both really blind.
34
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,450
Anyway, if I want this part, I'd better
stay in character.
35
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:20,590
How about it, Red?
36
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:22,650
Want a tango?
37
00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:27,000
I'd rather put blintz. between my knees
and run through an explosives factory.
38
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:37,840
Oh! Oh! Look who's here! My baby! My
little baby's here!
39
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:42,560
Why aren't you in Boston at school? Are
you suspended again?
40
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:43,780
Oh, I don't care.
41
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,280
It's just so good to see you.
42
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:46,840
Look at you.
43
00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:48,920
Still the face of an angel.
44
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:52,840
So youthful and brimming with life
and...
45
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,410
dressed like you have an appointment to
smoke reefers in the village.
46
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:57,269
Oh, wait.
47
00:02:57,270 --> 00:03:00,810
Mom, are you determined to embarrass me
for the rest of my existence? Of course,
48
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:03,430
dear. I'm your mother. Now, who's this?
49
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:06,670
John Grant from Mrs. Berkus. I was in
attendance when your husband was
50
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,110
by the grand jury for insider trading.
51
00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:11,690
Remember, Mom, John was one of the men
that put Daddy away.
52
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:14,430
He was the nice one who loosened his
handcuffs.
53
00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:17,950
I'm sorry it worked out that way, ma
'am. It's nothing personal. I liked your
54
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:20,910
husband, and he very generously
recommended a mutual fund that's doing
55
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:21,910
well for me.
56
00:03:25,109 --> 00:03:26,490
John's all, like, brilliant.
57
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:29,710
A boy wonder with the Security Exchange
Commission.
58
00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:37,990
And as of this afternoon, my husband...
I'm sorry, what did you just say, dear?
59
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,670
We got married at City Hall this
afternoon.
60
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:47,070
Mother, are you all right? Didn't you
hear what I said? Yes, of course I heard
61
00:03:47,070 --> 00:03:47,909
what you said.
62
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,950
You just forgive me if I'm a little
distracted here.
63
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:54,130
I was running through the list of
various ways to kill myself. What do you
64
00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,130
you got...
65
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:59,690
Mother, calm down. All we did was get
married. It's not like we let the
66
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,130
use the bathroom in the house or
anything.
67
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:05,550
Oh, I see. Well, really, that puts it
all in perspective, doesn't it?
68
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:11,050
Mother, who are those people, and why
are they staring at us?
69
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:17,230
Everyone, I'd like you to meet my lovely
19 -year -old daughter, Guinevere, and
70
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:19,149
her new husband, a conniving little fed.
71
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:22,089
I usually wear pants.
72
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:25,890
John, I think maybe we should go now and
give my mother a chance to adjust to
73
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:26,729
the news. Adjust?
74
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,690
Just a minute here. There is no
adjusting.
75
00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:32,270
The only reason I had you was so that I
could go to your wedding.
76
00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:34,810
Now, you believe me when I tell you
this, Missy.
77
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:39,330
You are not going to cheat me out of
seeing you marry the way God intended.
78
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:43,150
big pink and white striped tent on a
green lawn. Do I make myself understood?
79
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:46,689
What the hell?
80
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:47,690
There'll be presents.
81
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:52,500
Now you two run off and have a really
fun afternoon. I'll start making all the
82
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,500
arrangements.
83
00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,560
It was nice meeting you again, Mrs.
Berkus.
84
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:57,800
Should I say, Mom?
85
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:04,920
Oh, Nadine, I know things look kind of
bleak now, but...
86
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:10,240
But... Nadine, let's face it, there is
no bright side.
87
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,280
But if there's anything that we can do
to help you... Oh, yeah.
88
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,600
No,
89
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,970
I'm just overwhelmed with... How can I
afford this wedding? I got two kids in
90
00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,670
college, and my husband's behind bars.
91
00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:26,830
The state only pays him 17 cents an
hour. How much rumaki do you think I
92
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:27,830
get for that?
93
00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:32,150
I'm just gonna have to hope that
somewhere, someplace out there, there's
94
00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:34,470
caterer who'll take pity on me.
95
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,310
Nadine, if you're thinking about asking
me to cater the wedding, I'm not sure
96
00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:44,430
that's such a good idea. Oh, I know.
You're my boss. Yeah, it would be really
97
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:46,850
awkward for me to employ you. Yeah.
98
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,380
Oh, God, why did Charles have to get
caught?
99
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,000
Why couldn't he have just stashed some
of that money away in a Swiss bank
100
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,020
account? I mean, isn't that what the
really, really smart crooks do?
101
00:05:56,340 --> 00:06:00,640
Although there might be some way we can
work something out. Oh, yes, oh, yes.
102
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:02,090
Oh, thank you, thank you.
103
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:05,950
Wally, how will I ever repay you? Just
don't complain about the food like every
104
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:09,830
other mother of the bride does. And
don't make me eat alone in the kitchen.
105
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:10,830
right, dear, absolutely.
106
00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:13,870
Just remember this. Anything with salmon
is such a cliche.
107
00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:17,570
Be much more imaginative. I'm going to
call Charles now. They have to let him
108
00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:18,570
out for his own daughter's wedding.
109
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,330
Oh, oh, everyone.
110
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:26,570
On Saturday afternoon, you are all
cordially invited to the home of Mr. and
111
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,870
Charles Berkus in Croton -on -Hudson for
the wedding of their daughter,
112
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:32,590
Guinevere, to John... Somebody or other.
113
00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:37,190
Man, Croton -on -Hudson. Isn't that in
Westchester?
114
00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,230
The land of many tennis courts?
115
00:06:40,390 --> 00:06:43,590
Forty -two years I've avoided ever
stepping foot in that place.
116
00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:47,530
What if I go and I drink their water and
I start pining for the Reagan years?
117
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:52,860
I've got my own problems to deal with.
Catering a wedding is a no -win
118
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:56,760
situation. People are always too
critical, and no matter how much money
119
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,640
them, they always complain about the
bill.
120
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:01,860
And I suppose now this means I have to
buy them a gift.
121
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:03,840
The part I hate.
122
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,080
I walk into those bridal departments and
they have things like chafing dishes,
123
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:12,100
relish trays, pickle boats, shrimp
forks. What the hell do I know about
124
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,300
stuff? I eat out of jars.
125
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,760
Do you guys think it'd be all right if I
brought a date to the wedding?
126
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,100
I'm considering bringing my friend
Catherine from the phone company.
127
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:25,440
That woman you met here on Valentine's
Day? I didn't know you were dating her.
128
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,219
Well, I'm not.
129
00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:29,080
I'm just trying to get up the nerve to
ask her out.
130
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,480
I'm scared, really. Of what?
131
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,520
She might say yes.
132
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,120
What then?
133
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,480
I'm in a whole new territory.
134
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,480
I mean, it's been a long time.
135
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,520
Are risk corsages still in?
136
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,400
You know, Ray, if I were you, I'd think
real hard about asking a woman to a
137
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,400
wedding on the first date.
138
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:50,100
Next thing you know, you've got yourself
a whole new set of irritating
139
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,860
relatives. Believe me, I know.
140
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,160
Wait a minute, Abe. What are you saying?
You were married?
141
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:55,660
Oh, yeah, twice.
142
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,140
Really? To the same woman. How the hell
did that happen?
143
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,580
No short -term memory.
144
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,220
Oh, yeah, me and weddings are bad news.
145
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:09,120
I just have to see a three -tiered cake
and I start getting flashbacks.
146
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:11,560
How are we going to get there?
147
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,220
Maybe we could all chip in and rent a
car. Good idea.
148
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,820
You think there'll be a handicap
parking?
149
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,760
Now he can remember to make a knuckle.
They could go awfully fast.
150
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:29,220
Yes, Nadine.
151
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,220
And did you think about the cocktail
napkins? I don't want people leaving
152
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,600
rings on my hutch. Oh, yes, Nadine. Oh,
I'll bet you forgot to plug in the
153
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,039
coffee urn. Where's the salmon? I don't
see any salmon here. You said you didn't
154
00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:40,659
want salmon. Would you calm down,
please?
155
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,480
I am the one with the daughter getting
married today, not you.
156
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,380
Nadine, shouldn't you be getting
dressed?
157
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:51,160
Oh, God, you're right. Oh, yes. Oh,
absolutely.
158
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,120
I want to look good when Charles gets
here.
159
00:08:53,660 --> 00:09:00,320
I know how much his cellmate works out.
I'm going to send Arthur down to answer
160
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,840
the door for the guest. He's just
sitting in his bedroom staring at his
161
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,080
tank. There haven't been any fish in
there since he was 14 years old.
162
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,640
Arthur!
163
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,580
The fish are never coming back!
164
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,880
Get down from there!
165
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,820
Hi, Jack. Hi, honey.
166
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,500
So, this is Westchester.
167
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:22,160
Well, I haven't seen lawn jockeys in a
long time.
168
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:23,680
At least they're white.
169
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,160
Where is everybody?
170
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,020
All packed into a rent -a -car.
171
00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:30,380
Ray was driving. But he's not used to
being behind the wheel of anything
172
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:31,380
a garbage truck.
173
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,100
He kept drifting over to the curb and
slowing down every 20 yards.
174
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,860
Why did I not take the train?
175
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:38,700
Anything I can do to help you?
176
00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:41,140
Yes, you could hire another caterer.
177
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,780
Or you could answer the door until
Nadine's son comes downstairs.
178
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,200
That I can do.
179
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,300
Didn't mean to jump like that.
180
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,560
I just didn't hear you come down.
181
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:07,160
So, uh... You must be Nadine's son.
182
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:11,660
Hi, I'm Jack Stein.
183
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:16,020
You know, Jack, there are mites that are
living in our eyebrows, and no matter
184
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:17,740
what you do, you can't get rid of them.
185
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:24,180
Sometimes I feel them moving around,
crossing over from one eyebrow to the
186
00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:25,180
other.
187
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:31,730
A steady migration, like the Central
Europeans who came to our shores to
188
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,070
religious persecution.
189
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,010
Wally!
190
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:39,630
I'll get it.
191
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:45,310
Hi, you here for the wedding?
192
00:10:45,630 --> 00:10:48,950
Yes, we are. Who are you? I'm Jack
Stein. I'm a friend of the bride's
193
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:50,790
Oh, Jack Stein. I've heard all about
you. Jack?
194
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,110
He must be Charles.
195
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:55,410
Yes, sir, Charles Berkus.
196
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:57,950
And I'd like to introduce you to Phil
Polito.
197
00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:01,910
Phil's with the outfit that I am
currently with, if you know what I mean.
198
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,810
Phil can be dispensed with the jewelry.
199
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,230
I just had to make sure I wasn't walking
into a trap.
200
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:12,870
I keep telling Phil, this is the county
of Westchester, not the Badlands.
201
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:15,150
Take a look at the lawns out there,
Phil.
202
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:17,550
For God's sakes, this is the cradle of
civilization.
203
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:21,530
And who is this?
204
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:23,730
Is this my son?
205
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:28,250
Is this the fruit of my loins? Is this
Arthur?
206
00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:30,390
It's Pop.
207
00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,910
How about a big old Berkus bear hug Art
Haruni?
208
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:36,370
Come on, boy.
209
00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:39,030
You can do it, Art, like Christmas that
time. Yeah.
210
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:40,910
Yeah, Art. Oh, my boy.
211
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,140
You know, the mouth is the filthiest
part of the body.
212
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,880
Do you think we have time to go
upstairs?
213
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,320
At least seven minutes. That's all I
need. I know, dear.
214
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:03,900
We'll walk, we'll walk.
215
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:07,560
It's making way. I need to lobby.
216
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,300
Where the hell is the punch bowl?
217
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,440
Don't you see?
218
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,660
The punch bowl doesn't matter.
219
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,480
Nothing matters.
220
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:21,980
We're all going to end up in the ground
with worms crawling through our eye
221
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:22,980
sockets.
222
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,160
He is a bit of a philosopher to me.
223
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,080
Hey. Hey, you. What?
224
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,240
Didn't I just see you at Yankee Stadium
selling peanuts a few weeks ago?
225
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,660
Yeah, they gave me the boot. That
Steinbrenner added in for me.
226
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,020
At least that's what I'm saying in
court.
227
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,120
What are you doing here?
228
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:43,540
I'm a roadie for the band.
229
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:44,960
You mean the string quartet?
230
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:47,760
Yeah, whatever. Look, someone's got to
unfold their chairs and line up the
231
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,760
chicks for after, huh?
232
00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,890
signal. You know, Meg, that voice of
yours takes on a whole different quality
233
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,510
when it's bouncing off the insides of a
Toyota Tercel.
234
00:13:13,490 --> 00:13:16,490
What are you complaining about? At least
you weren't squashed in the backseat
235
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:21,230
sitting next to him. Was it really
necessary to ask me to describe
236
00:13:21,230 --> 00:13:22,230
were driving past?
237
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:25,890
Oh, if only I had appreciated the beauty
of the world when I could see.
238
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:30,850
By the way, on the way home, I'm
driving. Oh, no, you're not. All right,
239
00:13:30,850 --> 00:13:33,610
right, all right. Can we pull it
together, please? We're in Westchester.
240
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,420
People don't argue here. They just let
gophers loose on each other's lawns.
241
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:38,980
I'm going to find the bar.
242
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,720
Abe, would you lead me to the bar?
243
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,180
Okay. But if I slam you into a few
walls, it's for your own good.
244
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,260
So, here we are.
245
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,400
At a wedding, of all places. Yeah.
246
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,460
You know, this is the first time I've
seen you out of uniform.
247
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,160
So, what do you think?
248
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:56,560
I think you look pretty nice.
249
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Yeah?
250
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,940
Can I get you a nice tea or a lemonade
or something?
251
00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:04,130
No, Ray. I'd like a drink.
252
00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:05,330
Oh, yeah.
253
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:14,150
Looks like Ray's pretty serious about
this girl. Yeah, well, it's the
254
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:19,590
atmosphere. People get affected by
weddings. They start romanticizing the
255
00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:23,090
of marriage and forget what a tough road
it is. Yeah, isn't that the truth?
256
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:24,310
Yeah.
257
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:26,030
Wally, will you marry me?
258
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,550
Jack, that's the second time you've
proposed to me in the last two months.
259
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,440
It's just the ice swan and the smell of
gardenias.
260
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:38,840
You have to fight it, honey. Wally, all
I want is what's best for you. And
261
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,860
what's best for you is me.
262
00:14:40,540 --> 00:14:43,880
Jack, do you have any idea how many
people decide to get married while
263
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,180
at someone else's wedding and that
someone else got married because they
264
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:51,560
someone else's wedding? And it just gets
passed on and on like a bad fruitcake
265
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,560
at Christmas.
266
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,540
Kip proposed to you at a wedding, didn't
he?
267
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,360
Yes.
268
00:14:58,660 --> 00:14:59,660
Unbelievable.
269
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:03,230
Wally, you really have to write a list
of his maneuvers so I don't keep making
270
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:04,230
his mistakes.
271
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,430
And I am not Kip.
272
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:06,690
And here's what you can tell.
273
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:10,410
I am much shorter, and I have a steady
job.
274
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,150
And I can see.
275
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:19,590
These kids look pretty serious.
276
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:21,910
Oh, I hate what I got them.
277
00:15:22,910 --> 00:15:23,749
What'd you get?
278
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,050
A whole pregnancy kit.
279
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:28,370
You think that was in questionable
taste?
280
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,530
I think I'm going to go outside and push
over a lawn jockey.
281
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:36,350
You know, the worst thing about it is
you can't see anything.
282
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:43,730
Excuse me.
283
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:48,690
You got a lot of nerve coming into our
territory after shooting your mouth off
284
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:50,330
about how we should pay all the taxes.
285
00:15:50,970 --> 00:15:53,430
Do you know how much a tune -up on a
Mercedes is?
286
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,810
Probably a little more than a public
school teacher makes in a year.
287
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,250
That's right.
288
00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,670
Now you're getting the picture.
289
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,690
Now you're feeling the pain.
290
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:04,830
Let's go, boys.
291
00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:16,670
Excuse me. Would you like a little
assistance finding a seat?
292
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:20,190
Oh, no, thanks. I'm used to getting
along on my own. Even though I've lost
293
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,630
cent, the others have become heightened.
294
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,550
For instance, you're wearing shalimar on
the nape of your neck.
295
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,780
That's exactly right.
296
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,140
And I'll bet you're wearing a red dress.
297
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:33,740
I am.
298
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,000
I can feel the passionate color.
299
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:40,420
Oh, yeah.
300
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,740
I have developed senses that most other
men could only dream about.
301
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,240
Really?
302
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:54,840
Where have you been, Nadine? You've been
gone
303
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,440
for over an hour. I know.
304
00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:57,860
It was a miracle.
305
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,540
Hey, Dean, I don't want to know you this
well.
306
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,220
Listen, now, before you sit down, you
doing anything later? The cellist sticks
307
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,220
you.
308
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,000
Hey, you all right?
309
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,280
This music is starting to get to me.
310
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,980
It wasn't all her fault, you know.
311
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,859
I'm not that easy to live with.
312
00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:27,300
I never used to rinse the dishes before
I put them in the dishwasher.
313
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:33,810
The egg would harden and she would have
to scrape it off with a knife.
314
00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:38,330
I was so damn thoughtless.
315
00:17:40,850 --> 00:17:43,630
Tell me if this is going to get worse
because I'll change my seat.
316
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:49,310
Captain, I have to admit I was a little
bit nervous asking you to a wedding for
317
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:50,310
a first date.
318
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,410
I mean, some people might get the wrong
impression.
319
00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:54,930
Oh, don't worry. I didn't read anything
into it.
320
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,810
I do love weddings, though.
321
00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,490
I'd like to have one just like this.
322
00:17:59,790 --> 00:18:00,790
I don't know.
323
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:02,030
It's pretty fancy.
324
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:04,530
I'd like to have a house like this, too.
325
00:18:05,190 --> 00:18:06,190
Really?
326
00:18:06,610 --> 00:18:07,610
It's pretty big.
327
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:10,150
Oh, I don't think so. Not for this area.
328
00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:12,290
This is the area that I'd like to live
in.
329
00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:15,250
Gee, Kevin, it's awfully expensive here.
330
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:17,210
You could get a second job.
331
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:48,300
Ladies and gentlemen, friends and
family, we are gathered here this
332
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:54,400
celebrate the marriage of Guinevere
Berkus to John Grantham. I understand
333
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,700
that you, Guinevere, and you, John, have
written your own vows.
334
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,020
Look
335
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:07,640
at them.
336
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,120
They're so young.
337
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,020
You should really know each other very
well before you make a lifelong
338
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,020
commitment.
339
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,940
We know each other very well.
340
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:17,580
Oh, really?
341
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,700
Where do you stand on the whole children
issue? Do you want them?
342
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,040
I don't know. Do you? And what about
private school versus public school?
343
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:26,920
Well, of course they'll go to public
school.
344
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,980
They? How many children are we talking
about, Jack?
345
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:36,160
And then there was a time I got mad and
took all of the tires off of her car.
346
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,560
What kind of monster would do that,
mate?
347
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,800
I wonder where she is right now.
348
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,520
Hitchhiking.
349
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,200
But my mother's all alone, Ray, and if I
move out of New York City, she'll have
350
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,199
to live with us.
351
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,020
You can build an apartment over the
garage.
352
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,540
There's no air in this tent.
353
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,500
You should open a flap or something.
354
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,120
Just answer me one question. Do you or
don't you believe in God?
355
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,409
I do.
356
00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:10,870
I just have a problem with organized
religion.
357
00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:14,290
What does that mean? My son won't be bar
mitzvahed?
358
00:20:21,310 --> 00:20:27,770
Well, that looks like everybody.
359
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:30,070
Then you know what that means, Charles.
360
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:31,430
Oh, no, Charles.
361
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,230
Goodbye, Nadine.
362
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:36,430
Goodbye, Princess.
363
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,040
So long, Scooter.
364
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,360
I mean, the hill out of here, Phil.
365
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,200
Let's use the twirly light, okay?
366
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:52,940
You
367
00:20:52,940 --> 00:21:00,600
know
368
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,600
what, Nadine?
369
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,620
You've had a pretty emotional day. Why
don't you go upstairs and relax?
370
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,580
Jack and I will take care of everything
down here.
371
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,020
Really, Wally? Oh, you are such a dear
friend. Oh, don't forget to leave me
372
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:14,140
bill. Oh, I have it right here.
373
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:17,080
You know this has been such a perfect
day.
374
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,100
And this really tops it off.
375
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,940
Thanks for nothing, you rotten little
bloodsucker.
376
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,900
Well, let me compliment you on your
amazing self -control.
377
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,600
Oh, I feel bad for her. She has to go
upstairs now and sleep alone.
378
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:38,500
I've gotten you.
379
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,440
You do have me, Wally.
380
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:42,620
How come I don't have you?
381
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,600
Honey, it's getting late.
382
00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:48,460
Come on, come on. Wally, Wally, look.
383
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,480
Why won't you marry me?
384
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,940
Jack, you have wedding fever.
385
00:21:54,460 --> 00:21:55,900
And I have very cold feet.
386
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:58,960
Look, it's not like I ask people to
marry me every day.
387
00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:02,720
And every time you say no, it hurts just
enough to make me think about it for
388
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,180
the next time. I know. I know you're
serious.
389
00:22:05,770 --> 00:22:09,730
And I know I'm taking a very big risk
every time I turn you down, because if
390
00:22:09,730 --> 00:22:12,130
were me, eventually I'd stop asking.
391
00:22:14,490 --> 00:22:16,270
Here's what a glutton for punishment I
am.
392
00:22:17,430 --> 00:22:20,310
Wally, will you marry me?
393
00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:23,290
Oh, God.
394
00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:26,170
The scent of gardenia is overwhelming.
395
00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:31,010
Wally. And you have that look in your
eyes that always makes me give you the
396
00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:32,790
last french fry on my plate.
397
00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:36,210
Can I think about it?
398
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,070
For a week, maybe?
399
00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:40,790
Well, you didn't say no.
400
00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:43,890
All right.
401
00:22:44,770 --> 00:22:47,210
I definitely made some progress here.
402
00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:49,010
Oh.
403
00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:51,690
Oh,
404
00:22:53,890 --> 00:22:55,110
Jack.
405
00:22:59,790 --> 00:23:02,950
Jack? I think we're lying on top of
something.
406
00:23:03,690 --> 00:23:05,030
It's me, Arthur.
407
00:23:06,830 --> 00:23:11,190
You know, I've never felt more
stimulated in my entire life.
33330
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.