All language subtitles for living_the_dream_s01e05_blind_test

No, Mum.

No! You don't need to be vaccinated
against rabies. This is the United

America. It's not bad to see dogs,
though. And look, we've got a month to

the packing perfect.

No, no, not a month, Jen.

All right, then. Three and a half weeks.
Listen, hold on, Mum.

Hi, Paul. Hi. Listen, just give me a
second. Mum, I'm sorry. I've got to go.

love you, all right?

Give Dave a kiss. Here's Mal. All right,
bye.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye. Jen, come here.

Maureen, hi.

How are you? Looking forward to your
visit.

Oh, Mal, look, I just need to sort out
my... Yeah, look, Maureen, I'm here, I'm

here, I'm here. Well, OK, OK.

I just want to run through some dates.
You see, the thing is, I'm arriving

weeks earlier than planned.

I know it's a shock, but, well, the
thing is, Dave passed away last

week, and I just can't be here on my own
without him, so...

I re -booked. Is that OK?

Yeah, no, I'm here. I'm here.

Well, I mean, is that OK? I mean, what
will Jed think?

Eh? No, it's great. She'll love it.
She'll love it. Look, Maureen, I'm

sorry, but I've got a meeting and I'm
running late, so I've got to go.

OK? Lots and lots.

We'll see you soon. Take care. Bye -bye.
Bye -bye. Bye.

This will be the new family area once
the current residents have moved to

Lakeside View. It's gorgeous.

I ain't going.

What difference does this all make to
the RV capacity?

Ten new plots.

Great. And a cafe?

Not sure. We don't want to overextend
too early.

No, you need a cafe. Trust me, it'll be
the best investment you make.

Really? Okay.

Well, we'll think about it. Thanks,
Paul.

No problem. Brian, what's your marriage
malfunction?

I ain't going.

So, uh, how's the move to Lakeside
actually going?

You're not going?

I ain't going. What the hell are you
doing?

Cleaner broke my chair.

Get in your trail, let's go.

I ain't going.

I ain't going. Change is never easy.

So, with the relocation of our existing
residence, we can create ten new RV

plots. specifically aimed at the
upmarket drive -thru holidaymaker.

Cool. Just what every RV owner wants. So
phase two can start as soon as the

finance is in place, which is where you
come in. And, well, we've got all the

figures there.

Uh, no.

We can't help with that.

You've got no credit history.

Okay,

um... How do I go about getting credit
history?

Well, you need credit, too.

Build up a credit history.

That's kind of why I'm here. You know,
this is a bank.

Credit.

Get a loan.

Oh, hey.

I understand. I do.

But you can't get credit without a
credit history.

And I can't get a credit history without
credit.

You getting the hang of this now?

You're good?

Brilliant.

You just need to give it a bit of time
and you'll get used to it.

I don't understand. Troy said that
everyone loved the site.

It's an upgrade. It's got a fantastic
view.

Well, we've reduced the rent a bit.

Mr. Pemberton, we've got a situation.

Ryan claims there's poison vapors and
leeches down by the lake and he wants to

go back.

The lake water's been tested. It's fine,
Ryan.

Truth is, Ryan's a pussy.

You don't think I know what's going on,
huh?

You think I'm stupid?

You all wondering why Troy's suddenly so
keen to move, I'll tell you why.

It's so he can park his RV even closer
to poke my wife.

That's the real truth. Ryan, what are
you saying?

I gotta apologize, folks. Ryan ain't
feeling right.

He ain't been taking his pills. Don't
make me out to be some kind of wacko.

Come on, buddy man, take it.

What

was

that?

You're hexed. He just hexed you with an
ancient Seminole Indian curse.

Oh, no, I've been hexed.

Call 911.

My dick might fall off.

Thank you, Troy.

Look, everyone, it might take a couple
of nights to settle in, but I just know

that...

You're going to love it here.

Aren't they, Mal?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Dang it, what do we do now?

Isn't it exciting?

By the time Mum gets here, the park will
be transformed.

Upmarket holidaymakers.

Renovated pool, shaded seats.

Aren't you excited?

No, no, I am excited, yeah. It's just,
um... Jen, we need to have a little

What's this?

Oh, um, that's Paul's spa weekend. Great
idea, huh? You and me could be doing

stuff like that soon, Mal.

Girlfriend, getaway, pamper and spa.
Seriously?

Jen, I think Paul is encouraging us to
overspend.

Paul knows this business.

I really value his input and advice.

Yeah, I can see that.

Well, what's that supposed to mean?

Look, the point is, I just want Mum to
enjoy herself.

So, look, I just want you to promise me
one thing. Jen, I will. We're not going

to fall out over Mum. Because you know
what happens. She winds you up and then

you start. No, me. She winds you up. Oh,
come on. You're always having a go at

her. I think you'll find, actually, that
she's always having a go at me. Sorry,

sorry, sorry. Relax.

Look, Mal, I just... I just need you to
promise me that it'll all be OK, OK?

So, you know, just say it.

And just say, OK, OK.

It's all going to be OK.

OK? You're right. Well, it's going to be
great.

It's going to be great. It's going to be
great. It's going to be great.

Can't you see?

What the hell are you doing out here? I
got to go all the way out to the swamp

to get a signal.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I was just out here making sure
that everybody else was okay.

I think maybe Ryan was right about the
leeches.

You look like a candy bar.

It's the humidity. It sets my asthma
off.

I couldn't breathe all night long.

Poisonous vapors. What did I say?

They sent us down here to die.

Take your meds and shut up, Brian. We
don't need your negativity down here in

this new territory.

Who actually slept?

Not me.

Slept like a baby.

You did not, Troy Marshall. I called him
out here by the lake.

It was hard during. I was getting a
little air.

You were trembling and flying.

Are you kidding me?

Heartburn? All right, all right. I was
spooked.

And you were calling me a pussy?

I got a doo -doo.

Shut me up. I got a doo -doo. I was
next.

I am doo -dooing.

I get a good feeling.

Yeah.

I get a feeling that I never, never
knew. I never had to. Oh, no, no. I get

good feeling. Yeah.

Hello.

Kiss Me Sunshine Park. Gem Pepperton
speaking. How can I help you?

Hello, Mum. Hi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to Skype
you tonight.

Sorry?

Sorry, when?

When are you coming?

Oh! Oh, right, OK.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What the hell is going on? What are you
doing? You can't stay here. This land is

taken. It's not going to work, Mr.
Pemberton.

It is a medical nightmare down there.

We've got breathing difficulties.

We've got rheumatism. We have psychosis,
maybe even that dinghy fever.

And some say that the mosquitoes have
mutated their biggest golf balls.

With respect, Aidan, I think you're
overreacting a little bit. I mean,

got to go back, guys. We've got a crisis
here. If I don't triple my income in

the next two months, this park is sunk.

I mean, it's well and truly over.

Hello?

She's coming on Friday.

Mum! Mum!

Maureen! She brought the date forward
and she told you and you said it was

and you didn't tell me!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my... Back here.

Yeah.

It's been a bit of a change of plan.

Rory! Welcome. How was your journey?

Come in.

Mal?

Mum nearly got arrested at the airport.
Turns out Freddie's been telling her a

pack of lies about how awesome the park
is, and she wants to go home. Just don't

say, welcome to America.

Welcome to America!

Mush! Mush! Come here, I'm rolling out.

So, Mal, how was your trip?

Oh, well, I liked the flying.

But when I got here... They opened my
suitcase in front of everyone and asked

how much money I had.

Oh, what did you say?

Well, I told them it was none of their
business.

But then, they led me to a little room
and took my fingerprints.

I said, if you think I'm some sort of
illegal immigrant, you're wrong.

Frankly, I wouldn't move to your
overrated, obese country if you paid me.

Well, never mind, Mum. You're here now,
safe and sound, and that's what counts.

And it's lovely to have you.

Yes, I'm looking forward to a cocktail
at the Country Club bar and a look round

the petting zoo.

Oh, well, that sounds nice.

What are you planning on doing there?

At Jennifer's Caravan Park.

Freddie's good enough to keep me up to
date with all the latest attractions,

aren't you, darling?

Yeah. As in all the awesome attractions
that are advertised on our Facebook and

Instagram feed by our social media
expert.

A word?

I was only trying to help with that.

So, when do I get to meet the new
boyfriend?

Oh, he's in Texas visiting military
schools, I'm afraid. Oh, does that mean

not very intelligent?

Anne!

What's wrong with Miami?

We can't let her see the park. She'll
call social services and take the kids

back to England.

I know it's a bit of a stretch for us,
Mal, but she deserves a treat and it

solves all our problems. Jen, we just
can't afford flights to Miami.

So we'll drive.

Cars are bloody gas guzzler. Miami
hotels are ridiculous.

I mean, do the kids really need to go?
Mal, she's flown 4 ,000 miles to see her

grandchildren.

Yeah, I know, I know. And I want her to
have a great time, too. It's just, you

know...

Just don't eat out.

I know.

We'll do Paul's girlfriend's getaway
pamper and spa weekend. It's the least

can do.

What? You are joking.

You can't pamper Maureen. I mean, it'd
be like massaging a porcupine. Don't

insult my mother.

You do.

She's my mother. I'm her daughter. I'm
supposed to.

And her daughter.

Oh, look, please stop calling me Mo.
It's Maury. Oh, Maury. Come on.

Bye.

Bye. See you later.

Have a lovely day. Have a nice time.
Don't worry about us or anything. We're

just, um... Whatever.

Hey, don't worry, Dad.

We can watch football and leave the
washing up.

No, it's his son.

Yeah, well, there are some mistakes on
the Facebook page.

Yeah, well, you need to know that the
petting zoo is no longer a thing.

Weddings?

No, sorry, we don't do weddings. That
shouldn't be on there.

Hi, this is Mel Pemberton. I'm the owner
of the RV park, yeah.

We do do weddings, absolutely.

Always have done. Sorry, my son was a
little confused.

Yeah, this afternoon.

Sure, yeah, we could show you around the
park. Yeah.

Okay. Great. We'll see you then. Thank
you. Thanks. Bye -bye. Bye.

You, my son, are a ruddy bloody genius.

That's it.

Mum, we're here.

Oh.

Oh, it's not as big as I imagined.

No, Mum, no. This is our friend's park.

We're here for the Girlfriend Getaway
event, remember?

I've booked an all -inclusive camper
day.

What do you think?

Oh, well, I thought we were going to
your caravan park.

I'm Serenity, and this is Malachi, and
we want to get married.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Oh.

Okay.

Yeah, well, let's start by showing you
around, yeah?

Let's start down here.

So, anyway...

No,

we've even got our own...

for a facial.

What's that for next?

Not for me.

Most people choose to have their
ceremony under our wishing tree.

We've already had a couple of weddings
here.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it worked a treat. Oh, my gosh.
Really?

Cheers. Cheers.

Good to see you.

Afraid I'm the guy with the bill.

It's just a few extras that don't come
with the package you booked.

Oh, right, okay, so that's for the
massage.

Oh, right, so the oils were extra.
Right, and the cocktails are quite

Well, the mud and water used today has
been naturally sourced.

Well, yes, I mean, that would make
sense.

Uh, sorry.

Payment's been refused.

What do you mean it's been refused?

There must be a mistake. Please try
again.

Doesn't seem to be working out. I just
need to talk to my boss.

So you could have the actual ceremony by
the beautiful old wishing tree, and

then everybody could process up here for
the reception and after party.

Perfect. And...

Oh, getting married under a tree is so
romantic, and I love how quiet and calm

it is.

You gonna do a beer run, Ryan?

No way, asshole.

Ryan, you gotta take your medication,
get yourself better attitude.

It's all doable.

I just know that we can give you guys
the day you've always dreamt of.

So, when were you thinking?

We had a cancellation due to religious
differences. The church burned down.

There was a fire at the venue and we had
to cancel.

So, the wedding's tomorrow evening?

Okay. So, you said about 100 guests?

So, seating, lighting, catering and bar,
after -party DJ.

Tomorrow.

That's going to come in at $300 per
person.

Including sales tax.

Yep. Cool.

Great. Great. So what we need from you
is a deposit into our bank account by 2

.m. today for $10 ,000.

Yep. Cool.

Can I just say that you guys are so not
going to regret this. This is going to

be the most, truly, the most incredible
wedding day.

Thank you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. $30 ,000.

I was good, but you were massive.

Right, listen up, everybody.

I'm offering an hourly rate of 12 bucks,
but I only want people who are going to

work hard and not moan.

Any takers?

Me!

Good, right.

We need to erect a small stage, so there
are pallets around by the back of the

office. Freddie, you're on sound and
lighting.

Pastor, I want you to learn the wedding
vows right. I need you to do a booze

run. Aidan, head of design.

I can do catering and bartending.

Want steaks at a wedding?

Take it or leave it. I'll take it.

Oh, come on, then. What are you waiting
for? Mush, mush, mush!

I'll help you, Aidan. I'm the designer.

What am I going to do? This is so
embarrassing. Ah, yes, you. Come on,

get you exfoliated. Everybody loves
exfoliation.

Scrub away that dead, dry skin and let
that body breathe.

Thank you, Roger, but no, no, no.

Mum, we came here for you. Can you not
just bloody well relax and enjoy

for once, for God's sake?

Relax!

into your bits. We'll get rid of bingo
wings.

Oh, please, will you just sit down?

No, no, I refuse to have a nice sodding
day because, one, I haven't got enough

money to pay for a chiropody
appointment. That's a load of biotech

Two, I wouldn't pay for it anyway.

Why didn't you ring me, Rhoda?

Jen, how you doing, gorgeous?

Tina.

And you must be Maureen.

I just wanted to say welcome and what an
honor it is to have you here.

Now, listen, you're all my special
guests, okay?

So all your treatments are in the house.

Oh, no, Paul. Hey, come on.

It's my pleasure.

And I'd like to put you up for the
night.

Seriously, I have this huge house where
you all get en suite.

Paul, honestly, we can't. Hey, I'm
thinking of Maureen here.

Forgive me, Maureen, but I imagine you
must be worn out and can't be doing all

this.

A bit of quiet, privacy.

Why are you relaxed by the pool with
your family?

How does that sound?

Oh, it sounds wonderful, Paul.

Thank you.

Oh, Mum.

Let's not think about it now.

Oh, dear.

For the last three months, I knew he
wasn't right.

When I talked to him, he would just
stare out of the window.

And he was off his food.

Oh, Mum.

Why didn't you tell me David died?

Well, I told Mal, but...

I couldn't really talk about it on the
phone.

Come on, Glenn.

Here's to Dave. Dave, rest in peace.

To Dave.

Maureen, honey, I am so sorry, but this
could be the beginning of a whole new

life for you. And I will teach you how
to swipe right.

Uh, Rhoda?

Dave was a leopardoodle.

Here you go, lady.

Hello. Hi, Mal.

Listen,

why didn't you tell me that Dave had
died?

Dave's dead.

It's terrible. Poor Maureen.

Listen, will you pass on my condolences?
Yeah, and the credit card was maxed

out, so I was publicly humiliated.

Oh, yeah, sorry about that. Must be the
same card we use for the Lakeside

Immigrants. But, um, hey, fear not,
because...

You, Tina and Maureen can treat yourself
to whatever you want.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's OK. Paul
sorted it all out.

What do you mean, Paul sorted it out?

Well, he offered to pay for the spa
treatments and he's putting us up in his

massive mansion while having lobster and
champagne.

Yeah, well, it's probably just as well
you're not here because, I mean, we are

really busy organising a high -end
wedding thing, you know. We're 100

we're going to be working through the
night anyway.

Jen, I've got to go. I've got to give
Freddie a hand. Talk soon, OK? Bye, bye.

Come on, come here.

It's going to be perfect, isn't it,
Valentine?

Mr.

Pemberton, can I ask you a favor?

Yeah, of course.

Go ahead.

I'm just going to come out with it
because you've got kind eyes and I trust

Would you...

consider walking me down the aisle and
giving me away.

It's just my dad is kind of indisposed
at the moment, and I just... Is it too

crazy?

No, no, no. I mean, what would your
mother think? Oh, she's totally cool

it.

Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah, why not? I mean, yeah, be an
honour.

Thank you. Okay.

Oh, and by the way, it's a vampire
wedding.

Sorry, vampire.

That's fancy dress for the after party.

No, the whole ceremony.

A vampire wedding for vampires.

Vampires are so sexy.

Yes, yes. I've got costumes and
accessories in the car.

This is just wrong.

I've got to go more pagan.

Hey, Paul.

Hey, you.

Thank you for the meal, for putting us
up for everything.

It's so generous of you. You've really
saved the day.

Mum's dog died recently. She's been very
upset and so... Hey, no problem.

No, you have got to relax.

The family -friendly park is on its way.
Ten new plots and... Ah, you're not

telling me Mal's messed it up. Oh, no,
no, no, no. It's just, you know, I've

to take a bit of a break because Mum's
been here and... Look.

He's very lucky to have such a competent
business partner.

Seriously, I mean, without your help and
support... Wow, Mum!

Woo, well done, Mum!

Go, Maureen!

It's confident we have a wave machine!

Look, it isn't bad!

Oh!

Oh!

I'm glad you're tight.

So, uh...

What do you two kids do for a living?

I work in tech, and, uh, Serenity's a
phlebotomist.

So was it, uh, love at first bite, or,
uh, is he a pain in the neck?

I'm glad you find it amusing that
vampirism isn't some random lifestyle

It's a condition.

I have an energy problem and a
sensitivity to sunlight.

I'm not immortal.

I mean, that'd be silly.

But I am a nocturnal predator.

A nocturnal predator.

Let's, come on.

Are you aware that vampires don't blink?

You want to try a blink test on me?

Troy, your meat's here.

Come on, this is no time for sitting
around.

He didn't blink. Not one time.

It's not humanly possible, is it?

Eh? He didn't blink.

I think you need some medication.

You think I'm going to take my
medication while you're poking my damn

take it, asshole.

I'm thinking it needs a little more
juice.

Hey, hey.

All right, what do we got?

Bloody Mary.

Bloody Mary mix.

Troy, get you some, son.

Mmm.

That's good.

There you go.

Hey, you got to try it.

Look like a mirror and a blood stain on
my bed.

Look like a mirror and a blood stain on
my bed.

Oh, you're a vampire, baby. Come and
walk in my bed.

Oh, you're a vampire, baby. Come and
walk in my bed.

brothers and sisters of the night we are
gathered here in the moonlight

to witness the bloody and binding vows
of two vampires

beware when creatures of the night
choose a mate they

do so for all eternity do you Malachi
Smith

swear to give serenity like freely of
your life's blood forever?

I do.

And do you, Serenity Lake, swear to give
Malachi Smith freely of your life's

blood forever?

I do.

You may bite the bride.

Dick, twist on Backmorey.

Twist.

She's a killer, your mum. She's taking
me apart.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh. Bubble caresses. One good
moment.

What are we doing here, love?

Oh, you're having the time of your life.

Cards, pool, champagne.

We could do all this at your place.

No, we couldn't. I wanted to tell you,
mum, but our RV park...

Isn't anything like Paul's? I mean,
there's nothing like Paul's. We haven't

a country club, a cocktail bar... Yeah,
you're a petting zoo.

But of course not. I'm not stupid.

You've only just started.

But we've left Mal and Freddie sweating
away building a business whilst we

fraternise with the enemy.

Enemy? I think Paul's been really
generous to you, Mum. That's not for me.

He just wants to get his proverbial leg
over.

Please excuse my language, Rhoda. Mum, I
can't believe you just said that. That

is so rude and so wrong.

What is?

What's wrong?

Oh, Gran's just cheating at cards.

Gran, you are so wild.

Oh.

Mum,

Paul is my business colleague. Tell her,
Rhoda.

I kind of have to go with Maureen on
this.

Hey.

This is nice.

I think you're beginning to chill at
last.

She needs to relax, doesn't she, Maury?

How about a midnight swim?

Do you know what, Paul?

I think we'd better go home.

What? Yeah, it's my fault. I forgot my
pill.

You don't want a stroke on your hand.
Thank you, Paul.

Tina! What? Come on, we're off.

Rhoda took some sense into them.

It's time to go, honey.

Look, where are you going? Ladies!

Oh, come on, one more game.

Jen!

Serenity is my heart, my soul, and now
at last, she is my wife.

And Mr. Pemberton, we are so very
grateful that you showed an open mind

us get married here.

Well, you know, I'd just like to say,
you know, whoever you are, whatever you

drink or eat, whoever you dress, whoever
you dress,

You'll always be welcome in this park,
okay?

And just a few words of advice about
marriage.

She's always right.

Yeah? Yeah?

So the only word you need to know is
yes.

Remember that.

Have a great evening, everybody.

Enjoy.

Hey, Troy, you all right there, buddy?

You're looking a little bit sweaty.

I got a bad feeling, man.

We're a group changer.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,
dude.

Seriously, something's off.

Let me get you a refill.

Here you go.

Drink up, buddy.

Hey, Mom, doesn't it look brilliant?

He tried to put a stake through my
heart.

It doesn't get any better than this.

It's a bit weird.

Oh, hi, Jane.

I'm Maureen.

Oh, God.

I've missed you.

why you thought I wouldn't like your
caravan park, love.

It may be no frills, but it's lived in.

No -one wants to leave, and that's
because it feels like home.

Of course, it would be a whole lot
better with a petting zoo.

Eh, DJ Freddy?

Yeah, Gran, but no -one listens to me.

Thanks, Mum.

And thanks for looking after us
yesterday.

Don't know what you're talking about,
love.

Oh.

Oh, my God, someone get that man a blood
transfusion. Oh, God, Dan, I can't

actually look at you.

Please, nobody shout, all right? I'm
having random flashbacks. I actually

I might die.

You play your pay, Malcolm.

That's a bit harsh, Maureen.

Especially directed at a man who's just
banked 30K.

What? What? Let me see.

He has two?

You are a very fine entrepreneur.

Father of a genius, only maybe a Disney
-themed event next time.

Hey, and guess what? Mum loves the park.

Really? Yeah, it's got a lot of
character.

Although I do think the way you tried to
force senior citizens to move to a

swamp is absolutely outrageous.

They were telling me all about it last
night. Mum, it is not a swamp. It's

actually a beautiful lakeside.

Wow.

Maureen, have I got a little red mark on
my neck just around here?

Not really, love, but then I haven't got
my lenses in.

Really?

I could have sworn I was bitten by a
vampire last night. Oh!

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Come on, give us a little kiss.

Come on!

No!