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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:26,960 Thanks a lot. Well, thanks. 2 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,280 Thanks a lot, really. 3 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,440 Cut it out. 4 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:32,700 Anyway. 5 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,800 Okay, that's all you're going to do. Fine. 6 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:39,860 Well, welcome to the first show of the new season. I'm really excited. You 7 00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:44,020 in baseball, of course, there's a time -honored tradition in the first game to 8 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:45,680 throw out the first ball of the season. 9 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:50,120 Well, in television, it's a little different. There is the traditional 10 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,640 out of the first joke. 11 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,080 And here it comes now. 12 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:57,540 Come on along. 13 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:03,280 Here you go. Thank you for the key to the bathroom. 14 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,540 Maybe next time you can give me the men's room key. 15 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:11,520 Thank you. 16 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:12,840 Thank you. 17 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,160 Thank you. 18 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,720 And let's hope it's a good season and that no one... gets injured, especially, 19 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,420 let's hope the audience bleachers don't collapse the way they did last year. 20 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,180 Thank you. Thank you again. 21 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,180 Let me sign that one more time. 22 00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:32,420 Thank you. 23 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:33,860 Thank you. 24 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,740 Anyway, I'm here at the office of the network president. You see, each season 25 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:42,000 before we start the show, I have to meet with him and discuss with him any 26 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,160 changes that are going to happen in the show this year. 27 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,140 And it's usually not a problem. In fact... 28 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:50,900 Mr. Shravely really likes me, and I think when he finds out that I've been 29 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:55,920 waiting here for, I guess it's over three hours now, he is going to be 30 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:56,920 upset. 31 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:02,740 Henry, 32 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,040 you're killing me. You really, you've got to stop. I mean, my ribs are aching. 33 00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,139 And I believe you. 34 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,639 You believe me. 35 00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:11,140 Listen, 36 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:15,930 listen. The minute, the minute there's a cancellation, you know we're going to 37 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:17,130 slide you right in, right? 38 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,110 Mr. Shandling. Yeah. 39 00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:21,870 When you learn to crawl, I'll slide. 40 00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:24,650 Hi, 41 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,970 Shandling. How are you? Oh, hey, Mr. Shandling. Gary. 42 00:02:31,490 --> 00:02:35,990 How are you? Henry, good to see you. Nice to see you. Hey, I love your show. 43 00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:39,950 thanks a lot. My family loves your show. Oh, that's really nice of you to say. 44 00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:42,010 I love your... 45 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,360 Family. 46 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,620 Thanks, Henry. 47 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,760 Yeah, come on in. 48 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:54,040 Yeah, I'll see you. God, what timing, talent, amazing guy. Why don't you sit 49 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,460 down over there, Gary? Yeah, fantastic guy. How often do you see a guy who's so 50 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:02,620 good -looking, but he's also so funny? Oh, yeah, not often enough. 51 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,060 When you think about it, there's maybe him and me. 52 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,360 Good summer, Gary. 53 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,620 I had a great summer, Mr. 54 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,800 Cravely. Thanks for asking. I just took some time off. I went fishing. I went up 55 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,060 to Washington. I was up there in Washington. I have to tell you, it was 56 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:19,060 unbelievable start. 57 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,140 Gary, Gary, what's new with the show? 58 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:26,820 Oh, sure, the show. Well, you know, I'm really excited because I have a new 59 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:29,900 girlfriend on the show this year, and I think she's really special. 60 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,420 Gary, it's not going to help the show. 61 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,460 Get a butler. 62 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,680 A butler. A butler. You heard me. 63 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:44,360 Butlers dress funny. They talk funny. They are funny. 64 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:48,320 Trust me. No, I do. Not that Mr. 65 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:49,860 French doesn't floor me, sir. 66 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:51,860 He's great. He's great. 67 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,500 Phoebe is really terrific. She's a wonderful girl. I met her at Nancy and 68 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,940 wedding. And, I mean, she's just funny in her own way. Gary, we've seen it 69 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:06,220 before. We've seen these girlfriends come and go. One week they're there, the 70 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:07,480 next week they're not. 71 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,620 I'm going to have to meet her, Gary. No, there's no reason you have to meet her. 72 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,279 Oh, yeah. 73 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,280 Of course, if there's any problems, then I can nip it in the bud. 74 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,440 Okay, let's see. 75 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,880 I can come to dinner tomorrow night. 76 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:23,740 It's good for me. 77 00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,820 Good for me? Good. 78 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,640 I think I'm open. I don't have my book with me, but... Okay, good. 79 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,240 Good seeing you, Gary. 80 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,440 Great, Mr. Shravely. Great seeing you. Gotta get this call. 81 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,520 Oh, I didn't even hear that ring. That... New system. Yeah. 82 00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:47,810 Thanks a lot, Mrs. Bradley. 83 00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:51,650 That went pretty well. 84 00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:57,470 You know, I'll just meet you back at the house and we'll try and shake this 85 00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:58,470 thing off. 86 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,410 He's not on the phone, is he? 87 00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:08,750 This is the theme to Gary's show. 88 00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:14,010 The theme to Gary's show. Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme 89 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:19,160 song. I'm almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far? How do you like 90 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,520 the theme to Gary's show? 91 00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:26,320 This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is 92 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,280 music that you hear as you watch the credits. 93 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:34,660 We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle. Then we'll watch the 94 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,660 Sandling show. 95 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:43,020 This was the theme to Gary Sandling's show. 96 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:48,859 Hi, dear. 97 00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:49,860 Hi, honey. 98 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,040 That's her. 99 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,080 That's my new girl. 100 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,900 She's helping me redecorate my place. Hi. 101 00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:03,680 Hi. You 102 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:11,880 know, 103 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,240 it's a lot nicer than the, uh... 104 00:06:13,859 --> 00:06:17,760 NFL football helmet lamps I used to have, you know? And much more practical. 105 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:20,580 This thing will actually afford some protection if I wear it, I think. 106 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:25,600 I don't understand it. It looks so great in the store. 107 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,280 Really, it does. I can see that. And I wrapped it up, and I put it in the car. 108 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,840 Right. It must have known we were coming to your house, you know, because as we 109 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,320 got closer and closer, it kept getting more and more depressed. 110 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:39,660 Yeah. I could swear, Gary, when I pulled into the driveway, I heard this lamp 111 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,540 crying. Maybe I'm crazy, but... 112 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,500 No, honey, you're not... You're not crazy. 113 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,700 I think it is crying. 114 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,380 Wouldn't that be something if we were both crazy? 115 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,620 Say, how'd it go today? What happened? 116 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,040 Mr. Strangely? Yeah. 117 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,880 Well, I bumped into Henry Winkler. 118 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,300 Henry Winkler loves the show. 119 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,640 Oh, that's very nice. Isn't that nice? Yeah. 120 00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:19,060 And Mr. Stravely wants to meet you. 121 00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,459 Oh, why? 122 00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:24,980 Well, you know, he's just kind of a pain in the neck, you know, just because he 123 00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:28,280 runs a network, he thinks he has some control over my life, you know. 124 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:29,820 Well, does he? 125 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,280 Yeah, he does. 126 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:38,820 But I let him. You know, I just go, yes, Mr. Stravely. No, Mr. Stravely. You 127 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,700 know, and then he says, oh. 128 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,080 I'm coming to dinner tomorrow, so he just invites himself. 129 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,519 Oh. 130 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,820 What if he doesn't like me? 131 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,580 Honey, he's going to love you. Why wouldn't he like you? 132 00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:53,200 Well, he doesn't like you, Gary. Why should he like me? 133 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,720 Oh, honey. 134 00:07:58,340 --> 00:08:03,040 I don't like me and I like you. And he doesn't like me so much, he's going to 135 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,040 really like you. 136 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,720 Well, we'll make him something nice for dinner. 137 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,080 Great. 138 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:12,710 What are you going to make? 139 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:17,390 Well, remember that beef stew I made? I could make that. 140 00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:25,210 You know, that beef stew was great. 141 00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,590 Don't make the beef stew, though. 142 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:34,929 I loved it, and all the animals in the condo loved it, but maybe something 143 00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:37,590 Really? Yeah. Well, what does he like to eat? He likes... 144 00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:41,330 Well, you know, no one's ever really seen the man eat. I don't know if he 145 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,530 There's a rumor going around that he likes Dover Soul. 146 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,690 It's the strangest rumor I ever heard in my life. People go, he eats. Barry, 147 00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:47,690 what's that music? 148 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:50,030 Oh, we just want to see. It's dancing Barry. 149 00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:31,150 Pretty soon you'll get to meet all the neighbors in the condo. You're going to 150 00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,510 love it. You're going to really love it. 151 00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:35,690 Here it is, the moment of truth. 152 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,830 I still can't believe you dropped that ring. 153 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,480 lucky. This is the edited version. 154 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:02,599 We're grateful. 155 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,640 Do you think it's near the end? 156 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:04,980 I'll stop it here. 157 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,660 What do you guys know about Mr. 158 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960 Stravely? 159 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,119 Gary's boss? 160 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,500 Yeah. Gary's boss. 161 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:14,960 Now there's a thankless job. 162 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,760 He's coming for dinner tomorrow. I'm a little bit nervous. 163 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,800 Why? Do you think Gary's going to videotape it? 164 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:27,300 Fine. Fine. Ian, um, Phoebe and I'd like to talk. Why don't you just, uh, go out 165 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:28,239 and play? 166 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,140 Fine. Call me when dinner's ready. 167 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,800 Don't mind him at all. You know, he loves to tease Gary, but he really likes 168 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:36,799 him. I know. 169 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:37,800 So do I. 170 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,580 Yeah, I can tell. 171 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,400 You're cooking dinner for the boss. That's a pretty big step. 172 00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,700 Come on now, Nancy. Don't start. We're fine. 173 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,880 We're just taking it one step at a time. 174 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,260 What are you making for the big dinner? 175 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:52,560 Dover sole. 176 00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:54,160 Oh, right. I heard that rumor. 177 00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:57,480 You'll be fine. Don't worry about a thing. Really? 178 00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:00,360 I just don't want to do anything to embarrass Gary, you know. 179 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,720 Don't worry. 180 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:09,020 This is just so great. You and Gary. 181 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:12,060 It's just... God, it's amazing. 182 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,920 But it's really great. 183 00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:16,140 Really great. 184 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,760 How did Phoebe's scene go without me? Everything all right? 185 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:24,990 You know, when I'm done with this crystal, Mr. Stravely's going to be able 186 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:25,990 see his face in it. 187 00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:28,690 Wait, can you see your face? 188 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,230 Get closer to the TV. 189 00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,150 I can see Leonard Smith's face. 190 00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:35,290 Oh, great. 191 00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:36,930 Brace yourself. I'm sorry. 192 00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:38,970 Hey, Leonard. How's it going? 193 00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,030 Fine. Hey, listen. 194 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:45,170 Word on the street is that the head of the network's coming over for dinner. 195 00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:46,330 That's correct. 196 00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:47,930 Good episode. 197 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,870 What goes wrong? 198 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,430 What do you mean, what goes wrong? Nothing's going to go wrong. 199 00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:54,820 Come on, Gare. 200 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,700 It's a classic setup, Gare. 201 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,620 Remember when Alan Brady came over to the Petri's and Laura overcooked the 202 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,140 turkey and all hell broke loose? Leonard. 203 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,980 And, Gare, you know, that wasn't even his first visit. Leonard, that was 204 00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:07,640 This is the real world. 205 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,400 Yeah. We'll be fine, all right? Mind you, Gare, Mrs. 206 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,940 Rayburn wasn't exactly Beaver's boss. She was only his principal, but I think 207 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:18,960 the metaphor still applies. 208 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:22,510 when she came over to the Cleavers and Wally embarrassed him by staying in his 209 00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:23,630 pajamas all during dinner? 210 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:28,090 Well, this is going to come as a big shock to you, but Wally's not going to 211 00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:29,090 here tomorrow night. 212 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:33,930 I don't think any of the Cleavers are, so thanks, really. And I got to go. I 213 00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:37,070 to keep cleaning and get ready, okay? Have it your way, Gare, but that's the 214 00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:39,470 word on the street. Okay, see you. And I can't wait. 215 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:40,870 Okay. 216 00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,470 Oh, brother. 217 00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:49,870 I know that Phoebe and I haven't gone through this before, but we'll be fine. 218 00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,090 Sure, I'm a little nervous. 219 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,590 After all, this used to be round. 220 00:15:18,410 --> 00:15:19,950 You don't think we have too many candles, do you? 221 00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:23,590 Gary, are you relaxed? You're driving me crazy. 222 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,610 Everything's going to be fine. I know, it is fine. I am relaxed. I just feel 223 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,610 very, very comfortable. 224 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:28,690 Do I look okay? 225 00:15:28,870 --> 00:15:30,910 Oh, you look great. I love your hair that big way. 226 00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:38,150 What, is it too big? No, it's not too big. It's proportionate to the opening 227 00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:39,150 that's in your blouse. 228 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:44,350 Gary, come on. You know, I'm a little nervous, too. 229 00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:45,950 Are you nervous? 230 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:49,430 Are you real nervous? No, just a little nervous. Are you all right? Yeah. 231 00:15:49,670 --> 00:15:56,030 Okay, well... Ma 'am, I haven't finished polishing this yet. 232 00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,270 I need just a couple more minutes. 233 00:15:58,510 --> 00:15:59,850 Gary, open the door. 234 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:01,930 You seem very... Okay. 235 00:16:02,630 --> 00:16:04,730 Hey! Come in. 236 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:09,010 Are you sure there's not too many cows? I don't want to... He'll come in here 237 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,550 and think there's a cult in here or something. 238 00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:14,310 Don't worry. As soon as I get him out of his clothes, everything will be fine. 239 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,520 Just open the door. Are you joking? 240 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,900 Tell me you're joking before I open the door. Open the door. I'll be standing 241 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:22,900 out there for a minute. 242 00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:27,400 Hey, Mr. Shravely. Good to see you. How are you? You know, we were just saying 243 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,540 at 8 o 'clock you should be here any second because how you're Mr. 244 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:31,880 Punctual. 245 00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:35,720 You know why? Your network. One show stops, one show starts right up. There's 246 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:36,840 not like a big gap there. 247 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,640 Gary, let the man come in. 248 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,500 Come on in, Mr. Shravely. 249 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:46,020 Hi, I'm Phoebe Bass. Hi, Philip Shravely. Nice to meet you. 250 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,500 I'll close the door the way I do in your office. 251 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:52,200 Gary, why don't you go get him a drink? 252 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,040 Would you like something to drink, Mr. Strangley? Yeah, give me a scotch and 253 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:56,979 soda. 254 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:57,919 Scotch and soda. 255 00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,520 Right -o. I can make that. 256 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,440 He's going to love her. 257 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,460 Strangley. 258 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,599 Strangley. Oh, that's a stupid name, isn't it? 259 00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:20,849 Tell me she didn't just say that. 260 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,750 Yeah, yeah, it is English. 261 00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:29,530 Yeah, my great -great -great -grandfather was a member of Parliament. 262 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:30,530 Harold Stravely. 263 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:35,510 Well, whatever his damn name was, I guess it's safe to assume that he didn't 264 00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:39,010 bring anything either. When he went to someone's house for dinner, you'll know. 265 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,260 She's turned into Laverne and Shirley. 266 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,400 Ow! Sucker! Ow! 267 00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:56,980 Ow! 268 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,860 Yahoo! I am Stravely. Ow! 269 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:07,400 Yes, I'm an interior designer. Honey, honey, interior designer or not, I will 270 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,820 not have you treating Mr. 271 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,680 Stravely like a pony. 272 00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:15,320 Mr. Stravely, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry for you. 273 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,500 Her, the way she rode you and beat you and made you how? 274 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,740 I can't believe that happened. I have never understood your sense of humor. 275 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,740 And I guess I never will. 276 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,220 Right. 277 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,140 Stay off my boss. 278 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:35,980 I can't believe you got up on it. Stay off my boss. Have some dip, Mr. 279 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,220 Straley. Yeah, I love this stuff. 280 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,000 Yeah, listen, Shanley. 281 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,980 I'm going to tell you a joke. 282 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,260 Okay, a joke. 283 00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,180 Yeah, let's see if you get it, all right? Now, here. 284 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:51,460 Have you heard the one about the network programmer who died, see? 285 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,980 He didn't know if he was in heaven or hell, okay? 286 00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:00,800 Have you heard that? No, I haven't heard that. We'd love to hear it. Would you 287 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,800 like to hear that one? Yeah, sure. 288 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:05,240 And you at home, laugh it up when Mr. Stravely tells a joke. 289 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:07,740 Mr. 290 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:09,220 Stravely, are you okay? 291 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,400 Yeah, I'm fine. 292 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,020 Lindsay. 293 00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:14,820 Are you okay? 294 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,320 Honey, 295 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:20,920 it's just, you're just imagining it. 296 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:22,980 It's just the imagination. 297 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:27,460 There's nothing wrong. Honey, I'm sure this isn't hat on. What are you doing to 298 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:27,959 my ball? 299 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,260 What are you doing to my ball? Look, it's just another vision. 300 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,140 It's a hole in my imagination. 301 00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,960 Dancing Barry, that was real. 302 00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,180 Dancing Barry. 303 00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:40,680 And then when she wrote it. 304 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,160 I don't think that was real. 305 00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:49,120 That can't be real. 306 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,380 It's just obviously a tongue that big is just my imagination. 307 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,860 Look at that. Boy, I have a vivid imagination. 308 00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,660 See, Mrs. Dravely? That's a funny joke. 309 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,700 There's no way she would have known that you were allergic to clams. Yeah. And I 310 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,980 thought, I was just imagining it, okay? Yeah, well, Shandling, I don't think 311 00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:13,480 she's right for the show, okay? 312 00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:14,820 And why's that? 313 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,220 Hey, easy with the attitude. Easy with the attitude? Yeah. You know, you know, 314 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,540 Phoebe's in my life now, and if I'm lucky, she'll be in it for a long time, 315 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:25,120 okay? Hey, knock it off, Shandling. 316 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,420 Knock it off? 317 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:32,300 Knock it off? Yeah. I have never heard your voice go that high in my life, 318 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,300 Wester Stratum. 319 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:39,340 If you listen to me right now, I've had it with you, so just shut up. It doesn't 320 00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:40,219 matter. 321 00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:44,920 All right, I'm okay. It doesn't matter to me what you think. She stays, all 322 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,200 right? And I'll tell you something else. I'll tell you something else. I'm so 323 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,560 mad right now, I don't even want to be in the same ambulance with you. I'm 324 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,560 getting out. 325 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:02,510 So how much do you think that thing weighed? I would say 20, 25 pounds. Now, 326 00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:05,930 don't know. I go fishing. I know if I caught a thing that big, I'd mount it. 327 00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:06,930 put it over the fireplace. 328 00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:10,870 I've never seen a thing like that in my life. It was like twice. Even for my 329 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:11,870 lips, that would have looked big. 330 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:14,810 Did you touch it? 331 00:21:15,110 --> 00:21:16,390 Oh, no. 332 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,150 That would gross me out. 333 00:21:18,870 --> 00:21:22,670 I brushed up against it in the ambulance. It was so big, it was 334 00:21:22,670 --> 00:21:24,010 was gross. I was grossed out. 335 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:26,610 What's that? 336 00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:27,770 Just nothing. 337 00:21:28,110 --> 00:21:29,750 What is it? Come on. It's nothing. 338 00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:30,970 Gary. 339 00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:32,450 Don't call me Gary. 340 00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:35,890 What is it? Nothing. 341 00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:37,150 Show me. No. 342 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,290 Come on. It's a closing monologue. 343 00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:42,990 Well, can I see it? No. 344 00:21:44,430 --> 00:21:46,130 Okay, I'll bounce it off you. Great. 345 00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:50,650 Well, that's our show for tonight. I guess you learned that Phoebe and I 346 00:21:50,650 --> 00:21:51,650 love each other. 347 00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:54,010 Good night, everybody, and I'll see you next week. 348 00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:57,030 That's really sweet. 349 00:21:58,130 --> 00:22:02,070 Well, it's not that funny, I know, but I thought it would make the audience go, 350 00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:08,990 uh... Well, you know, you could add something to it like, for example, we 351 00:22:08,990 --> 00:22:13,850 learned how to come together in a crisis, and that's what love really is. 352 00:22:13,850 --> 00:22:17,090 know, something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot funnier, 353 00:22:17,110 --> 00:22:18,110 honey. Thanks. 354 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:22,750 Maybe I'll do that one next week, okay? If you don't mind. 355 00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:25,510 Okay, well, good night. See you. 356 00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:26,950 Good night, you peeping Tom. 357 00:23:37,030 --> 00:23:39,290 Hope you enjoyed. It's Gary Sandling Show. 28612

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