Original subtitles

Previously on I Ship It. Chris broke up with me.

Thanks for doing this with me, Rumi.

Yeah, no problem.

One, two, three.

Nope, still nothing.

Really? I saved you an assignment.

It's a featurette on Tessa Black and the Mary Sues. You started the Leviosa

Battle of the Bands. I discovered nerd rock and I thought to myself, I can do

this. I used to write fanfic and songs, too. I want people to feel things

because of my work. My ex -boyfriend Chris, I felt so conscious about

in front of him.

Now I'm signing up for the battle of the bands.

Hey, Tim.

Let's start a band.

Do you ever find this job depressing?

What do you mean?

I mean...

Wouldn't you rather be the kind of person who's written about a magazine

the kind of person who spends their nights reporting on the accomplishments

others?

No.

Can't say I've ever wanted to be in the spotlight.

Yeah.

But you sing, so I signed us up for a battle of bands that's in six weeks, and

you owe me $20 for the entrance fee.

What?

There's something on my mind.

I thought that keeps me up at night.

I just need you, babe.

I don't sing.

Oh, remember when I said let's

start a band and you, you said okay.

Wait,

what are you talking about? What? Nothing. What are you talking about?

wanna do this Yeah, I really wanna do this If

you really wanna do this Okay,

fine We

need at least two other people to start a

band, though. Yep.

Otherwise, it's just going to be you and me, staying up late at night, writing

music and bonding.

That's a recipe for disaster.

Hey, promise you're not going to get all weird and schmoopy on me just because I

got all fat on you that one night.

I'm... I am schmoopless.

Schmoop -free.

Is this something we should talk about?

Or can we just, like, bury it forever?

Buried.

Cool.

Where are we going to get these people?

So, great. Do you play any instruments?

Why do you want to break into the music journalism industry?

I don't. The music industry is a dying dinosaur, and corporate organized media

is irrelevant in an age where Twitter and citizen journalism exist.

So why are you here?

Internships like these count towards my community service. You know, teaching

the elderly social media skills, etc.

I'm like six seconds older than you. Exactly.

You get it.

So, I see you have beatboxing listed on your resume.

And you're going to LACC?

Why did you apply for this?

My parole officer said I had to.

Great job, Kevin. Nice eye contact.

Thank you.

Who's confident?

I'm confident. Who's that confident kid?

It's me.

We don't have to start a band. We could...

I don't know, maybe do a... Excuse you. Do, I don't know, a zine?

What? If music be the food of love, play on.

Billy Shade.

Count Orsino, Twelfth Night, Act One, Scene One.

I can't believe I had a crush on you in college.

What?

My parents play in the philharmonic and have been making me take violin, guitar,

bass, piano, and harp lessons since I developed fine motor skills, so I've

always been interested in the music industry.

You play five instruments?

Six, if you count the glockenspiel.

No,

I never remembered the glock.

Have you ever heard of nerd rock?

Oh, I love nerd rock. Are you kidding me? I wrote a whole paper about it in my

sound engineering class last semester.

Sound engineering?

Yeah, I know my way around Pro Tools.

You're in.

The internship.

No, the band.

And the internship.

As well.

I still think this could get us fired.

And I still think it's an opportunity to do something cool and make people feel

emotions and be less alone, which is why we listen to music and participate in

fandoms. We're doing a good thing here, Tim.

Get on board or get out of my way.

Rock and roll does not smell like cucumber melon. No. Oh, no.

Before we start, some ground rules.

One, when you come to a rehearsal, come ready to rock.

We're like indie pop rock.

Yeah. Two, since none of you answered my email, let me know if you have any food

allergies because that table is swimming in gluten.

And lastly, no interband dating.

Never works out and no one wants to be a cliche.

Any questions?

Let's jam.

Well,

that was a thing.

Hey guys, it's me.

Here's my latest.

It's a song about getting over a broken heart.

And new beginnings.

What the what?

I knew I had to start over.

I knew I had to push through.

Before I was just a poser Now

I'm head over heels Got hashtag feels Only because of you

All because of you Just because of you

Because of you Yeah

We're my one true pairing.

It's counting your X on my heart. I'll be the one declaring.

We'll never be broken apart.

Part I emoji.

Less than three.

There are no two that I ship more than you and me.

There are no two that I ship more than you and me.

I'm better than you, asshole.

Hey, Tim?

Yeah? We need to make a music video.

Okay.