Original subtitles

Sitting at the cool table in so many words. My article is going to break the

cool code wide open.

Wish me luck.

I'm going over.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Waverly and the Wonders have chewed girls up a lot tougher than you.

And then spat them out because of the calories.

Amanda, don't worry.

Waverly and her friends will find you smart, cute, and charming. Watch me.

Hi, Waverly, Tiffany, Kim.

It's me, Rebecca Harper, and we should care because... We think this together.

And a fellow Ernie C. Hires. Go Storm!

Whatever.

I think that went okay.

I'd be humiliated. Your spin of secret is safe with me.

So, want my help, or still think you can break the cool code on your own?

What did you have in mind?

Some hot new clothes and...

A total attitude makeover.

You'll have a permanent pass to Waverly and the Wonders. Cool table.

I get the attitude thing, but I doubt new clothes will make that big a deal.

Hello, all.

Great day, great day.

Not a great day for short, Michael. What happened to him?

What do you mean? I've always been this high.

Michael, we all have, you know, eyesight.

Let me guess.

You read the latest edition of You Weekly.

No, I don't believe so.

But you always read You Weekly.

How'd you miss the part where they described you as the petite prince of

-downs? It sort of sounds familiar.

Michael, that magazine prints anything.

You can't let it bug you.

I won't, because with these shoes, I'm as tall as the guy who wrote it.

No one will ever laugh at me again.

Something tells me the laughter's just begun.

He's wearing big platform shoes.

He's got the little man, little man, little man blues.

Dude, I'm going to be Ernie's season mascot.

I'm Stormy Norman.

So you'll be sweating in tights so students can feel good about team

Yes.

I've got a noon -hour rally tomorrow, then the big games Friday after school.

You'll make a great mascot, Wilder. Back in the day, I dated R. Storm and

Norman.

He ditched me at prom for Central's mascot, Lucy the Lionhearted.

Anyway, so, I need your feature on Roller Derby's by tomorrow at 4 .30.

4 .30 sounds perfect.

Great.

4 .30, is she for real? A feature article and all my homework and now

mascotting?

Can you cover tomorrow's roller derby? Take notes, think of a story angle, pick

me up some arena fries?

Okay, but it'll cost you. You rock.

Courtside seats for Friday. The tickets are yours.

The tickets are free.

How about 20 burger dollars for the burger barn?

20? Seems a little steep. 25. Deal.

I should have gone for 30.

I would have gone for 50, sucka.

So, what do you think?

I love it. It's like I'm surrounded by cotton candy.

This is so neat.

Geek check, geek check.

You can never act like it's a big deal to be somewhere, even if it's where you

really want to be. The popular girls are like dogs, Rebecca.

They can smell geek.

You mean fear. And actually, that's a myth. Dogs can't really smell things

like... Geek check! Geek check!

The cool people hate stuff that sounds like learning.

On to wardrobe.

Wow!

I mean, uh, that's so -so.

No, you can be excited about this one.

I'm just a simple girl.

Here's your cool kit.

Put everything inside and read over the manual.

Twice. You'll impress Waverly and get a great story.

You bet. Thanks to you, I'll do a dim dandy of a job.

Geek check, geek check.

Clouds are building overhead. The rain is coming down.

The storm's about to rock and roll. It's going to take you down.

Back from the roller derby? Sweet!

No, not sweet.

Opposite of sweet.

I said I'd get the story for you, not be the story.

You never told me I'd have to play. I got chucked all around the rink.

At a girls' roller derby?

They were very strong girls.

I got something that'll take your mind off the thumping you just got. My Storm

and Norman Hurricane Hustle.

Yes? Look at you.

What? What, are my tights on backwards?

It's bad enough I'm covering for you, but I'm covering for you so you can jump

around any unitard.

Yeah, I get it.

You don't have a school spirit.

I'll need that article double -spaced in Times New Roman. If I'm not the buzz by

4 .30, cover for me. I got a bolt.

That's weather humor.

I'm cool, and I didn't need a training session from you.

Right. The moon boots.

Everybody's calling me big guy and shorty, and shorty's mine ironically

Shut it, shorty. Here comes Rebecca.

What do you want? Some croutons for your teeth?

Sure. Throw in some low -fat dressing, and I'll make you a salad.

That's cool.

Cool. Totally cool.

Move.

She's in.

My little Rebecca is cool.

Sorry. They grow up so fast.

She's still not as tall as me, of course, but still.

There really is nothing I can't do. High five.

Best band you've never heard of.

Great.

Where's Wilder? I need to see his article, too.

Uh, he had to do, uh, buzz stuff.

Very buzz.

So how's your mom? Still named Jean?

I'm here. I made it.

I'm here.

Great. Where's your article?

Right. Right. The article.

Well, where did I put it?

I know.

At lunch, you said you wanted to put it in your pocket so you won't spill gravy

on it. Oh, yeah. I hate wasting gravy.

Gravy free.

This is unacceptable.

It's too short, it's sarcastic, and it makes a roller derby girl sound like

absolute monsters.

You'll need to revise it by tomorrow or it won't get in.

Wow, I can't believe it.

Yeah, DJ was pretty hard on you.

No, I mean you and your cardio article.

You hurt me, man.

You want hurt?

Try getting sandwiched between Mad Dog and Roxy Roller.

Go ahead, storm up, but I'll be storming on. Give me a B.

Give me a U. Give me a... Bummer.

Nice job.

I bet you're glad you won't have to hang out with Waverly and the Wonders

anymore. Looks like all our hard work paid off.

Fitting in wasn't that hard, Amanda. Those girls like me.

Well, you learn from the master.

Hey, Becky.

Hot party alert.

I'm having a great hair day, and my parents said I could use the pool.

You in?

Everybody is going to be there. Everyone that we want is going to be there.

Looks like your party is going to be short, I wonder, too, because... Oh, MG.

Sounds perp. No time to call the BF, but whatever.

Let's pool.

Lawson's a fashion flop.

As if. No one's going in the pool. It's too wet.

Oh, dear.

You know, you're depressed when an Egyptian reclaimed facial just feels

fell in a pile of mud.

What a party.

LOL. Steve -O threw Tiffy in the pool, so then she threw Kim in the pool.

Josh and Maverly danced every song together, and then he threw her in the

I learned tons. Like, it's fun to get thrown in the pool.

Basic.

But the coolest part is, all the girls can be buoyed by its inevitable ship.

That's cool for relationship.

All right.

Why are you silently judging me?

You ditched me for some party. You have enough material for your article. So

really? You're just being annoying now.

Annoying? They're just my new friends.

You don't get it. They're nobody's friends.

Whoever decides to sit at the cool table that day is their friend.

Why can't you just be happy for me? You've got the in -your -dreams wardrobe

the fairytale room.

Your whole life is a cool table.

It's not about my life. It's about you trying to be someone you're not.

Whatevs.

Can I borrow your denim miniskirt?

Maybe we can have one of that tomorrow.

I'm sorry, but the Amanda Pierce in your dreams collection is closed for the

evening.

Man, the spirit is willing, but the body and mind are weak.

Noah and I had a huge fight, and I was up late making these flyers and working

on my roller jibby article.

Just finished it. I stayed up late looking at my new height in the family

chart.

Hey, Stormers!

Check out the games tonight. The storms are coming.

Why don't you let me proof your article?

That's big of you.

Well, I am a big man now.

I wrote on the back of one of these flyers.

Oh, man, it's gone.

What are they all?

Since you're handing out flyers, pretty good.

Oh, this stinks.

Anything I can do to help, just let me know.

How about dressing up as a unicorn and pretending to be my pet for the day?

I refuse to look ridiculous.

Look at them all chipper and

cheery, thinking they're more beardy than everyone.

Look at them all giggly and gothy, thinking they're better than everyone.

Who needs them?

You miss him, don't you?

About as much as you miss Rebecca.

What should I do?

Even though Wilder was in the wrong, you need to be the bigger person and just

let it go.

So are you going to be the bigger person?

Please. That doesn't work in the world of Waverly.

I've got something much smaller in mind.

Wilder, time's up. Let's see what you got.

Storm and Norman range fury upon the roller derby game of the century.

The losing team cried out, we've got spirit, yes we do.

Walter, what is this?

I'm really sorry, DJ. I guess math got fever just got mixed up with my article.

Look, I know you've got a lot going on, but I need you to focus.

You either have to stay late and rewrite your article. But there's a big game

tonight. Or go to the game and lose your column this week.

Go ahead, say it.

I'm a lame friend, a bad journalist, and I'm wearing a unit's heart.

I think we can make this work. For 50 burger dollars, I bet. No, for you.

To help a friend.

I'll embarrass myself to give you the time to write your article.

Are you crying?

Tear drops the size of golf balls.

Stormy Norman is not afraid to show emotion.

The world could learn a lot from this sensitive yet heroic mascot.

So, did you guys hear? What Mr. McDean said about studying?

What else?

Hi.

Hey, Waverly, Tiffany, Kim.

BG Dub loved the new team.

I love the new top. It's gorgeous.

So, how's it going with Noah? Did you take our advice to ignore all of his

calls?

Um, every other call.

Hey, girl, check it. I just got this outfit in Paris.

Jealous? So jealous.

All hail the fashion queen.

Oh, you just got the triple sizzle. Well, well, stay hot.

What has two thumbs and hates that outfit?

This girl.

But you just said you liked it. Duh, I'm not going to trash somebody right to

their face. That's what the internet is for.

I just sent out a math tech.

But what was wrong with her outfit?

Her shoes were half a size too big. Her handbag was obviously a knockoff. And

her skirt, although the red designer, was totally from last season.

Who's the biggest PLP at Ernie Coombs High?

Amanda Pierce.

What does that even mean?

Obvious, pathetic little princess.

So what if she works at Teen Buzz and goes to fashion shows and is beautiful

rich and all the boys like her?

Nobody cares.

Make me want to LOL.

Obviously you care, you... jail, W.

Jails that don't want to be.

You'll never be as cool as Amanda.

You're mean and judgmental and, quite frankly, your jokes are lame.

Come to think of it, you're not even as cool as me.

And I'm a nerd.

So, DJ, good news.

I just came back from a press conference. I was able to reach over

head, see a few surprising bald spots, and ask Trisha Heffler a question.

Hmm. Was that question, how do you like my gigantic shoes?

Everyone knows she prefers flats.

Anyway, I'm off to interview taller celebrities.

Uh, Michael, about these platform shoes, I don't see that they've made any

difference. Other than causing multiple wipeouts.

DJ, in these shoes, I'm taller, smarter, taller, more confident.

If I may say so, taller.

You see these?

These contain all of the brilliant articles that you've ever written for

Buzz. You want height?

Stand on these.

Sense of lesson coming on.

It's not the size of the reporter's shoes that makes him great.

It's the size of his ego.

And his heart.

Michael, people have always looked up to you.

Inch for inch.

are the best celebrity reporter that this magazine has ever had.

Michael Davies will never let a pair of shoes control him again.

I'll repair whatever that was as soon as I come back from the interview.

Ta -da.

A spare pair of shoes of flair.

Do I dare?

So, how'd you know Waverly would trash your outfit?

Put it this way.

Before there was Waverly and the Wonders, there was Amanda and the

You know what bugs me?

They never got their comeuppance.

I mean, shouldn't they have been smoothied by now?

Trust me, they got it. They live every day in fear that they'll walk up to the

cool table and somebody else will be there.

Hey, do you know what time the game starts?

Yeah, five o 'clock in the gym. Geek check, geek check.

coming, Norman says.

And you'll get soaking wet.

We're gonna storm you on the court that's not an idle threat.

Is everybody ready for the storm?

Storm!

You'll feel the wind, the rain, the sleet. You'll feel it in each boat.

At Ernie's Sea, it's plain to see we're in the winter zone.

For a dude who hates school spirit, you sure love that costume.

Hey, guys.

Looking good.

Sorry I missed the game.

Let me guess.

Somebody said you had thin arms.

Who knows what people say when you're in the gym 24 -7.