All language subtitles for The Latest Buzz s02e06 The Showdown Issue

Come on, guys. DJ said we can't be late.

That's because we left an hour early
yesterday.

That's because I set the clocks ahead an
hour.

It's the closest I'll ever get to time
travel.

Thanks for that glimpse into the future,
but I want to get up there. I'm excited

to see the response to my flirting quiz.
I'd be more anxious.

What's your flirting IQ? Come on,
Rebecca. Everyone knows I'm the flirting

expert.

There she is.

Everybody, hold up one at a time.

Future Noah should have warned me about
that.

Michael, throw me that pen.

Did you see that? Did you see that? No.
Did something happen while I was

watching you not catch that pen?

Hey, DJ, toss me that CD.

What's with the acrobatics, guys? I'm
working on my article. This week in gym

class, we're playing extreme dodgeball.

Oh, no.

They added the word extreme?

You don't like dodgeball, Michael?

We've had a few differences.

It's like no matter how hard I try to
run from it, it keeps following me

My article will be about my experiences
in the tournament.

A base of action. A champion, sorry.

Don't you think that's a little bit
presumptuous?

Not really. My family's never lost a
match. Going back to when my grandfather

played.

Dodgeball is our legacy.

What about your great -grandfather?

The game didn't exist yet, but I once
saw him in a newsreel dodge a tomato.

I'll help you with your article.

Don't do it!

There's some things you just don't do
around with.

Okay,

journos, we have to get moving here.
Somehow we lost an hour yesterday.

I thought I heard a rip in the space
-time continuum.

First off, the last issue was fantastic.

We haven't had a response like that
since our Alanis Morissette arts and

issue. I'm sure my article on this
season's stock height moved a few

Yes. I'm finally glad to see that we're
back at mid -calf. I'm not as glad as I

am.

But what got the most response was,
Rebecca, what's your flirting IQ?

Really? Really?

It's now from Act and Write. Dear
Rebecca, I took your quiz and two hours

I had a date.

Zoe from Roseville says, thanks. Your
quiz showed me I was too flirty.

Some of these have to be for me.

Here we go.

Vanessa from Japan says, Amanda's sock
article was informative, but the

article was life -changing.

Huh, there's a photo.

It's probably Vanessa and her new
boyfriend.

The socks are with Cass.

Someday I hope to find a love like that.

Or sock.

So Amanda, have you taken Rebecca's test
yet?

Please, I don't need to take some tests
to know that I'm already a wonder flirt.

Wonder flirt? I was particularly
challenged.

On that note, let's get back to typey
-typey.

What are you doing?

I'm building up an arsenal of dodgeable
weapons.

Pick something up and throw it at me.

I'd always hoped you'd say that. That's
why they call me a dream maker.

Listen, I don't want to embarrass you in
front of everyone, but I know you're

the gorilla.

I'm the what?

I know you're the gorilla who stole my
smoothie.

Dude, I do this too.

All you have to do is really think of
all the words you're going to say before

you fire them out of your head.

Are you trying to tell me it wasn't you?
We all love the clock thing, but this

gorilla prank's going nowhere.

Nice try. Where's my sandwich?

The gorilla.

Dude, when you lie, you disrespect me,
yourself, and the imaginary gorilla.

I called that one the warning shot.

That's awfully friendly of you.

You want to know what's more friendly?

Not throwing anything at me.

Dude, can't be done. My heart says, let
him off easy. But my arm says, let's

pulverize the guy.

In case you're wondering, my stomach
says, I want a burrito.

I'm not saying let me win. Just, please,
do not make me suffer.

Let me put it to you this way.

You become friends with a big movie
star. You find some hot gossip on him.

Do you let him off?

Maybe.

Who am I kidding?

I'm just salivating thinking about it.

Wild man, you ready to make some
dodgeball -sized bruises? Because

escape from the double rocket launcher.

Not worried. I've taken on the
ambidextro before.

You can look forward to my new ninja.

Delph attack.

This is going to be you.

What happened?

Where did that come from?

Um, if anyone wants me, I'll be making
an appointment at the nurse's office.

Oh, hey, Rebecca.

Great quiz. I took it, and I now know
for sure that the lunch lady has a crush

on me.

Wait a second.

I don't know what's more troubling, you
taking my quiz or the lunch lady's

crushing on you.

It's pretty much a dead heat.

So, what question picked you off?

about this whole crushing thing. Oh,
definitely question number 27.

Would you like to run your fingers
through their hair?

Mr. Shepherd, the lunch lady wears a
hairnet.

FYI, that was question number 25.

27 was, has anyone ever made a special
meal for you? Yeah, those extra scoops

mashed potatoes were no coincidence.

Wait a second.

How do you know what question 27 was if
you didn't take my quiz? You didn't take

her quiz?

Everyone's taking her quiz.

My rating was a cool cucumber.

You took my quiz?

No, I didn't. I just accidentally heard
some kids talking about it. Let me see

that.

Oh, dear.

You're a flirting sloth.

I know.

There goes my flirting scholarship.

Dodge as you might, I will put out your
light!

It doesn't mean anything.

Everything in that quiz is fully backed
by the scientific community.

Please, what do scientists know about
flirting?

Watch how it works in the real world.

Nothing? That was my hello, howdy, here
flip.

It never fails.

Hey, cutie, great shoes.

Really? Because yesterday you told me
they'd be perfect for clown college.

Oh, yeah, they would.

Girls, do you see a gorilla run by? He's
about yay high, furry, and black.

I've got news for you. If a gorilla did
come by, he'd still be here, trying to

get a date with me.

Someone's delusional.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I have to
catch a gorilla.

a big lie?

OMG. Am I just a pity fart?

Of course not. If any of them pitied
you, they'd still be here.

The rocket's loaded.

Ready to fire!

Ninja!

Never saw a coming another championship
for the wild man somebody call my

grandfather not so fast they're still
davies all

right where do you want it davies well
that depends on what you mean by it

you remember the warning shot don't you
can i have a timeout just give it a toss

i've still got a couple moves left for
the crowd

I won?

I won!

How

could you

betray me?

You know, these belt buckles are out
this season unless they're championship

buckles. Which never go out of style.

I've brought shame to my family.

You could lie and say you won?

Oh, but then you'd have two things to be
ashamed of.

Can you pass me that polish?

I've never seen a ball travel so slow in
my entire life.

How did it even stay in the air?

This is complicated.

I'm trying to figure out who's the best
at dodgeball.

But wait, that's not complicated at all.

It says right here, champion.

We have to have a rematch, Michael. My
family's rep is on the line.

If dodgeball is what your family's
clinging to, I'd say their reputation

going anywhere.

A true champion defends the title.

No, a true champion retires on the top
of his game and gets a sneaker named

after him.

We'll settle this later. I gotta get out
of here.

Hey, Steve -O, go.

Uh, actually, I was waiting for Michael.

We're going to head over to the gym to
show off his belt.

Big winners on board?

Yep. First floor, please.

You're to the ground. No Jackson.

Don't use that tone with me, you
monkey's uncle.

you dj i'm not seeing things dj's the
gorilla if you're trying to butter me up

for an extension you're going about it
all wrong wait if you're here

there was a gorilla just here noah i
don't have time for your

childish pranks or magic gorillas
there's an elephant where you're so much

fun when you're gullible

Rebecca, can we talk?

Sure.

Well, uh, you see, this is hard.

It hurts me to say this, but I need your
help.

I'm sorry, but it sounded like you were
asking for my help. I am.

Flirting has always been my thing.

Flirting, shopping, sailing, country
clubbing, and judging others.

The five cornerstones of society.

Now I can't even tell what I'm doing
wrong.

Are you saying I might know something
about flirting?

You don't? How's that?

Well, okay, yes.

Yes?

Sorry. Let's make sure we have the
basics covered.

Clean teeth?

Check. Nice smile?

Check. Interested in other people?

Who?

Uh -oh. Well, let's use your strengths.
Your great smile.

I just wanted to say your pants look
really great.

Are you kidding?

Her pants are secondhand. I wouldn't
even let my clothes be imported on

secondhand plates.

Not so good.

Maybe you should try talking about your
home life. I usually play the Baba card.

It's always a sure laugh.

I like making people laugh.

No, wait. I like laughing at people.

We've got a lot of work to do.

So, uh, you guys want to watch the game
tonight?

Do I? I've been waiting for the
Celebrity Garden showdown for weeks.

Yeah, right, man.

Too funny.

This guy.

Pure jokes.

Hey, boys, what did you guys do tonight?

Hard to say.

We were just about to take off.

Huh. I guess just two of us.

Sorry. Promised the guys some
roughhousing lessons.

So, uh, basketball dunk slams. Love
those, huh?

This guy.

Too funny.

Yeah, he's a laugh riot.

If it works for Rebecca, it'll work for
me.

Steve -O, wait up. I was going to tell
you the funniest story.

I was watching a movie with Baba.

What's a Baba?

Uh, Rebecca's grandma.

You watched a movie with a random old
lady.

Hey, Rebecca's grandma. I meant I was
watching a movie with, um, Baba Ganoush.

Yeah, I, uh, got a...

Be somewhere.

I start paying attention to Rebecca's
stories.

Good.

Surprised you're not on the sitar
circuit.

Well, you'd be surprised how few bands
are looking for a backup sitar player

these days.

What's up?

Big sigh.

Being champ isn't easy.

Champion of what?

Dodgeball. I beat Wilder and all the
sporty guys want to hang out with me.

don't want to hang out with them and
they won't stop talking about sports.

Maybe they'll even want me to play
sports.

What are the odds?

Should have accepted the rematch with
Wilder. Well, maybe the rematch is your

way out of this whole problem.

But then I'd have to play dodgeball
again.

But if you lose, the jocks will
disappear.

Just accept the rematch.

Wilder will probably win.

Probably nothing.

When Michael Davies sets out to fail, he
cannot be stopped. The rematch is on.

No, Michael beat you at one thing.
You've got to learn to let things go.

Stop monkeying around!

I just don't get it.

Your flirting is failing because your
heart isn't in it. You need to flirt

someone you actually like.

You're not going anywhere!

You're not a gorilla.

And that's so sweet of you to say.

And you're not a donkey.

I just chased a gorilla all the way from
the gym.

Oh, yeah, the gym.

The dodgeball showdown is about to
start.

Does no one care about the gorilla?

It's time for the wild man to...

for the wild man to improve his aim.

The perfect opportunity.

Look at all these boys.

There must be at least one guy you kind
of like.

you didn't see a gorilla like a monkey
but bigger ring a bell at all

got

you monkey boy it was me and dj's office
in the gorilla suit it was me in the

kitchen and the gorilla suit and it was
me at the blurb it was all of you guys

are you kidding me like i would wear
something everyone else sweat in

Let's grab some smoothies.

Hey, when's my rematch, Michael?

Uh, you can just have the belt. It
doesn't really go with my tie

Thanks, dude.

Now I can go to the family reunion with
my head held high.

Wait, what about the gym?

Who's the gorilla in the gym?

That'll teach you to mess with my clock.