Original subtitles

Oh, darling, this is India!

-Hey, look here! -Heaven on earth is right here!

But you have to pay an entry fee.

-Ticket! -Ticket! Ticket!

Don't be afraid!

"There's no danger"

"There's no fight"

-"It isn't vice" -"There's no problem here"

-"Hey, this guy!" -"Hey fatso!"

-"Hey, tall guy!" -"Hey, shorty!"

-"Hey, baldy!" -Hey, you!"

"All the guys standing around, Right or wrong..."

"Look at us once, No matter who you are"

"Look at us once, no Matter who you are"

-"Come on! Come!" -"Come! Come!"

-"Come on! Come!" -"Come! Come!"

"Come on! Come!"

-"Come!" -"Come!"

-"Come and love me" -"Come."

-"Come to have fun" -"Come"

"Come to us To be freed of your inhibitions"

"Come to us For some reason or the other"

"Come on! Come!"

-"Be brave and come to us" -"Come."

"Come to us secretly"

-"Come to us with your wallet in hand" -"Come"

-"Lie to come to us" -"Come"

"Come"

"Come to us in fun"

"Why hesitate? Come"

"Listen to us Come"

"Whoever you are, come to us"

"Forget the world and come to us"

"Look at us once, no matter Who you are"

"Come on! Come!"

"Come on! Come!"

"Come on! Come!"

"Come on! Come!"

-Hey! What's wrong with her? -The poor girl is fed up of life.

One's mood does get spoilt sometimes in our profession.

-Calm down. -Let bygones be bygones.

Look, a new night is going to begin.

It won't do if you look depressed like a housewife!

Hey, what happened?

It's the time to do business.

-Today I won't do any business. -Then what will you do?

I'll just have fun today!

-Bye! -Bye!

LONG LIVE

-Hey! -Hey!

Does everyone in the city break another's dreams?

-We have orders from the top. -To clean the filth from below.

Some VIPs are coming from abroad. Got it?

Get up! Hey, get up! Sleeping is prohibited here.

Is there such a law?

-He argues with us! -He teaches us the law!

-Take out some money! -How can you escape?

-Do what's necessary. -Or you'll be in jail for eight days.

Please let me sleep. Please.

-You disobey! -Why are you hitting me?

You'll be booked under IPC Section 92.

Create a noise, and it'll be under 95.

If you start shouting, you'll be booked under 93.

What do these numbers 93, 92 and 95 stand for?

They're sections of the law.

And if I don't agree, and am ready to go the police-station?

You'll repent. We're only the two of us here.

But there, even the officer will take a bribe.

You're right. But I have no money.

No? Who are you?

Who I am?

God knows.

-What is your address? -Tell us what it is.

"There's hunger, fatigue and an understanding of pain.

The world is my enemy. And the heart is troubled."

-Why? -God knows.

But who are you?

"Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"There's no one like me In this world"

"There's no one like me In this world"

"I am everything I am nothing"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Am I this or that?"

"Am I only one or 100?"

"Am I whatever you wish me To be or whatever I am?"

"Who am I, for whom and why?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"I am Awara, Junglee, Janwar..."

"Shree 420, Anadi (Hindi movies titled for the hero)"

"A walking talking disaster, like Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (Hindi movie)."

"I am Albela, Anjana (Hindi movies)"

"Dariya Dil, Deewana (Hindi movies)"

"A common man on every road"

"An admirer of every beauty"

"I am a Farishta"

A Muqaddar Ka Sikandar Hindi movies titled for the hero)"

"I am an Aflatoon, an Ajooba (Hindi movies titled for the hero)"

"A happy-go-lucky man"

"I am awesome, I am very smart"

"I am rude, I am beyond reform"

"I am intelligent, I am very sharp"

"I am restless, I am an artist"

"I am Superman, I am Tarzan"

"I am a fine man, I am a lot of fun"

"I am a wastrel, I am King Kong, I sing a song!"

"I am right and wrong!"

"There's no one like me In this world"

"I am everything I am nothing"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

"Who am I? Who am I?"

"Who am I?"

Who?

Stay in jail for two days...

and you'll find out who your father is.

-Hey! -Come.

-Let me pick up my things! -Come on!

Why are you hitting a nobody and wasting your time?

My stomach and my pocket are empty.

I was even deprived of a room today.

I've landed in the streets because of dreams.

If you drive me out from here, should I jump in the sea?

Don't hit me! Look at this face.

I came here to become a hero, but ended up being a zero.

I had great dreams. I thought that I'd act in movies

earn millions, own big cars and big bungalows

have little romances with top heroines.

-Then? -Then, my name and photograph

will be published in the newspapers and magazines.

People will create an uproar in the theatres

-and go crazy seeing my acting. -Then?

After that, one hit will follow another!

-Hit after hit! -Hey!

-Then what next? -But darling, this is India!

Shoes wear off and clothes tear, struggling here.

But luck doesn't shine, buddy! Shall I go?

-Go. -Thank You.

-Sir! -Hey!

-Where are you going? -I spoke so much. Let me go.

Hey, don't hit me.

Hey, constable!

You start your cheap tricks.

Hey, what are you saying?

Can't you see you've grabbed a pauper?

You won't get anything from him.

He looks like a vagabond.

Look! I know my luck is bad right now...

Poor man! He looks like an actor.

-How do you know? -It's written on your face.

Struggler. Poor fellow!

Hey, constable, let him go.

-No. -Why are you harassing him?

Look! If you don't listen to me,

I'll whisper in your senior's ear.

You'll lose out on your bribes and your job. Got it?

Give me a kiss and take him away.

Rascal...

You're safe!

-Are you hungry? -Yes.

-Very? -Very.

-Will you eat? -Yes.

-What will I get in return? -What do you mean?

Oh, darling, this is India. You don't get anything for free here.

But what can I give you?

Oh? Let me enact this role too!

Hey, sweetheart, what are you...

Hey! Don't touch me, or I'll vanish!

-Then what do you want? -What do you know?

What does an actor know? To entertain the public.

That'll do. That's what I want today.

Today, I'll treat you to food, while you entertain me.

Non-stop entertainment all night long! Agreed?

Agreed.

So let's celebrate this evening in the name of entertainment.

Present a sample. Dance! Sing!

Tear your chest apart and reveal your heart.

Stake your life!

Evoke dreams that have never been seen or heard of!

Please me.

Make me laugh.

"Someone has thrown money at me I'll make the people laugh"

"How did this happen? Make them laugh"

"The first principle Of show business..."

"Forget everything people..."

"Do something miraculous that Makes the people spend money"

"People..."

"Dance, sing or shout out loud..."

"But make the people laugh"

"With glory and galore..."

"With false names"

"Make the people laugh"

"With tragedy..."

"Endangering your life..."

"Letting your blood flow..."

"Taking daring leaps..."

"With fun and frolic..."

"Slipping and falling..."

"Getting burnt..."

"Changing faces all the time..."

"Awake and asleep, crying or laughing Getting up, falling down..."

"Make the people laugh"

"People's likes And dislikes keep changing"

"What is a favorite today Will change tomorrow"

"Even people have become smart"

"They keep switching the channel"

"Good evening Today's headlines are..."

"Miracle, all the time, Consistently"

"The government has said that"

"They believe foreign trade Must be made way for"

"A new artist"

"Get out slowly and tell me"

"What should I make of you? Salad or mincemeat?"

"Someone has stolen A diamond necklace"

"I've seen love in my beloved's eyes For the first time"

"She laughed a little"

"See, she laughed a little"

"Softly, musically, sweetly"

"She laughed and got caught"

"She laughed and got caught"

"She laughed and got caught"

"She laughed and got caught"

"She laughed and got caught"

Incredible brain of Don Quixote!

It's your day today. Laugh!

Your dream is going to be fulfilled today. Laugh!

India will be in your hands today! Laugh!

Where has your laughter disappeared?

Laugh! Laugh!

Laugh! Laugh!

Laugh! Laugh!

When the chance has come, why can't you feel it?

-Hail Don Quixote! -Hail Don Quixote!

-Sir, it's time now. -Sir, they've come.

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Oh, excuse me.

Ma'am, one chicken dish, one of mutton, fresh brinjal

two kebabs, six rumaali rotis,

fried brain, fried fish...

Cancel that! Get one plate of pav bhaji.

Only pav bhaji?

An important announcement.

Today, the Lok Sabha passed a no-confidence motion

against the government.

The PM has submitted the resignation of his cabinet of ministers

to the President, which the latter has accepted.

-The President has... -Give it! Put it here.

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase today.

On one hand, there's political instability

created due to the resignation of the cabinet of ministers.

On the other hand, there are the terrorist attacks

in many parts of the country.

And besides, there's the deteriorating financial condition of the country.

Looking at these situations

President's rule has been imposed on the entire country.

The army has been ordered to be on the alert

and to be prepared to face any situation.

I request the citizens to maintain peace

and not support those who wish our country ill.

Tonight, in Mumbai, a foreign...

By the way, what's your name?

Everyone gives me a different name.

I am one, my names are many. Name me as you wish.

Seeta!

Geeta.

Shakuntala, Menka, Saraswati. No!

Oh, yes. Shridevi.

Nothing seems to fit.

Leena, Meena, Beena, Zarina, Haseena, Ruksana, Julie, Mary, Pinkie.

Enough!

In this dark night

words fall from my lips.

I name you, Miss India!

Miss India!

Miss India!

-And my name is... -I don't want to know.

-My name is... -I told you, I don't want to know.

Man gets maligned because of a name!

Ok. Fine.

-My name is... -The rest, later.

I am not yet full.

How much food you'll get

will depend on how much I am entertained.

How can I entertain you on an empty stomach?

If I don't eat, how will I entertain you?

-I promise, I swear... -What is a promise or an oath worth?

Darling, this is business. Deliver the goods and take the money!

Hey, what are you doing?

The pleasure of singing on a full stomach is a different

altogether. You're too much...

The pleasure of drinking each drop in agony is a different matter too.

-Oh, no! What are they doing? -Let it be. Darling, this is India!

"The night is brightly lit I am out to enjoy myself"

"A pretty girl in a red dress is before me. I move to kiss her"

"Bad habits crop up"

"Now, we are looking for traces"

"The end can happen in many ways, but the end it is"

"The end can happen in many ways, but the end it is"

"The end can happen in many ways..."

"This heart adores that"

"The only reason to live"

"And its name is India"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Life is here, and so is death"

"This is where you win and lose"

"Whatever you earned, you spent it here"

"Oh, darling this is India"

"You smile here, or cry secretly"

"You fall in love here And forget everything"

"What went and came? What was taken or given?"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Everything is present here In small amount"

"A bit of hate, a bit of love"

"A bit of happiness, a Bit of nervousness"

"A bit of ruckus, A bit of rioting"

"A bit backward, a bit forward"

"A bit daring, a bit frightened"

"Everyone has a little worry"

"Little 'if' and little 'but'"

"Everyone has a little knowledge"

"A bit of lies, a bit of truth"

"A bit of charity, a bit of loot"

"A bit of force And a bit of bribes"

"A bit of America And a bit of Russia"

"We learnt a bit"

"And taught a bit"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Here, everything Is done at a slow pace"

-"Sing a song..." -"Slowly"

-"Eat your food..." -"Slowly"

-"Express your love..." -"Slowly"

-"Get to work" -"Slowly"

-"Gain fame, get jealous -Slowly"

"The increase in price, Loosing weight"

-"The partition of the country" -"Slowly"

"Suffer things slowly, And their effects slowly as well"

"Life is slow"

"And kills a person slowly"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Everything here is 50-50"

"Here some are foreigners Some are Indian"

"We're strangers In our own country"

"Some are rich and some are poor"

"Far away, and yet very near"

"Some water mixed with some milk Who will know the difference?"

"A bit wet, a bit dry A bit ragged, a bit hungry"

"A bit cold, a bit hot A bit soft, a bit hard"

"A bit black, a bit white Half-truth rule!"

-"Half the work is unfinished" -"Half is done properly"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Everything works here"

-"False money" -"Keep going on"

-"Black marketing" -"My dear"

-"Hocus-pocus" -"Magic spell"

-"Empty stomach" -"Sleep peacefully"

-"Sharp mind" -"Plotting murder"

"Everything works Without hesitating"

-"White lies" -"Work wonders"

-"A little music" -"A little song"

"Many things coexist"

"'Bharatnatyam"

"Disco dandiya"

"Everything works together from Bharatnatyam to disco dandiya"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Everything is sold here"

-"Hard work" -"Sold here"

-"Self-respect" -"Sold here"

-"A politician's promise" -"Sold here"

-"Destiny of the people" -"Sold here"

-"False dreams" -"Sold here"

-"Strangers and relatives" -"Sold here"

-"The coming tomorrow" -"Sold here"

-"Water of the holy river Ganga" -"Sold here"

"Some mistake on purpose"

"Birth itself a mistake"

-"An officer's" -"Integrity"

"A government law"

"False promises"

"Insults"

"Everything gets sold here openly"

"Wishes are sold in the shops"

"The country is Being sold far and near"

"Even time is being sold here"

"All was sold Nothing was left"

"All was sold Nothing was left"

"What was not sold Was distributed among us"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

"Oh, darling, this is India"

Wow! Bravo!

Superb! Superb! Wow!

Killjoy! You've come to ruin the fun!

No, the real fun will be now. Leave this filth.

Come, I'll take you to a five star hotel.

Get lost! You smell too nice!

How dare you!

She's mine.

Look. I had this necklace brought for you from Dubai.

Give the necklace to your mother!

I'll never wear it for you.

You'll have to wear the necklace.

You order me, you rogue? I am a queen of the night.

The only one who can order me around is the moon.

-Well said! -You'll have to wear the necklace!

-You can't force-- -Don't you dare interfere!

Are you enjoying this?

Listen, she's not enjoying all this.

Who are you to see she enjoys herself?

-She's mine! -Yours?

Can you make others laugh? No.

Can you entertain others? No.

Then you're of no use to her.

Pardon me, but you do have eyesight.

Didn't you see the "No Entry" sign?

Look! Behind you!

Who... are you?

Who am I?

I am the son of the Don.

Get lost!

Does this road belong to your father?

"The one who rules This city is my father"

"The one who has the government On his fingertips is my father"

"Whose orders do all The servants listen to?"

"Your father's"

-"Whose atrocities does everyone fear?" -"Your father's"

"Whom does all the Illegal business belong to?"

"Your father"

"Whom does the goon of Every lane answer to?"

"Your father"

-"Who takes a share from your income? -"Your father"

"Whom does every way And thing belong to?"

"Your father"

"Oh, God! You're awesome"

"Whatever the father created, The son got"

"He got everything From his father"

"He didn't have to earn, He got everything from his father"

"All these accessories Belong to his father"

"This sharp knife Belongs to his father"

"The security and guards Belong to his father"

"This imported car Belongs to his father"

"This suit belongs to his father"

"These shoes belong to his father"

"Whatever he speaks Are his father's words"

"The strength is his father's"

"The daring is his father's"

"Whatever wealth he's Spending belongs to his father"

-"This hat and watch..." -"His father has given it to him"

-"This cane and briefcase" -"His father has given it to him"

-"These bundles of currency bills?" -"His father has given it to him"

-"The underwear within" -"His father has given it to him"

-"He drank some liquor" -"His father had given it to him"

-"When he lost his senses" -"His father had given it to him"

-"When he got bad habits" -"His father had given it to him"

-"His stubbornness" -"His father had given it to him"

"Get lost or you'll regret it"

"You'll die needlessly"

"What did you think? That I'll get scared?"

"What will you do? Eat me alive?"

"Whoever clashes against Us will lose everything"

"Whoever comes along with us Will be called our friend"

"Whoever speaks against Us will be destroyed"

"The one who will make her Laugh will take her away"

"Have a care!"

"I am a prince of the night"

"No one has authority over me"

"I can do anything I wish to"

"I am strong and forceful"

"Force is useless in love"

"The ones in love aren't weak"

-"Say it lovingly" -"It won't work"

-"Say it loudly" -"It won't work"

-"Fights and ruckus" -"It won't work"

-"Might of the goons" -"It won't work"

-"Coercion" -"It won't work"

-"Snatching" -"It won't work"

-"It won't work" -"It won't work"

-"It won't work" -"It won't work"

-"It won't work" -"It won't work"

-"It won't work" -"It won't work"

-"It won't work" -"Don't touch me, I'll break your hands"

"Don't look me in the eye, I'll gouge out your eyes"

"Don't talk too much, I'll slash your tongue"

"Don't come near, I'll kill you!"

"These knives and swords"

"Guns, dynamites and all the weapons"

"All these have no value in love"

"Why?"

"The ones who love don't kill"

-"They die for love" -"Yes!"

-"They die lovingly" -"Yes!"

-"They die happily" -"Yes!"

-"Yes, they die" -"Yes!"

"If you don't believe me, Ask your father"

"Go and ask your father"

"Go and ask your father"

"Go and ask your father"

"Go! Go!"

-Who does the whole world belong to? -Your father!

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

I love India.

I want India.

We want India.

Gentlemen, this world is changing very rapidly.

The biggest of nations are breaking, and new nations are being created.

The one who captures anything becomes its rightful owner.

I want India.

But India is not an insignificant, ordinary nation

which can be won over with force.

To win it, one needs brains.

My incredible brain has come up with a fantastic plan!

On hearing it, all of you will shout

"The incredible brain of Don Quixote!"

Gentlemen, this is not a country, but a volcano

where hatred has been boiling since ages.

Even the most trivial of reasons is enough to make it erupt.

For many years now,

in the name of religion, caste, language, land,

water, floods and other such petty issues,

we've created conflicts amongst them.

We've hollowed out this country and filled it with gunpowder.

That gunpowder will explode today.

At the midnight hour tonight, our men will start riots everywhere.

The bloodshed will be unprecedented in India's history.

While the Indian army will be attempting to control the violence

our friends, the terrorists

created by the enemies of this country across the border

will attack the country from all sides.

In the midst of it all, we'll kidnap the President of India

and we'll replace him with a duplicate President made ready by me

who will dance to my tune.

In this manner, the country's government and its army

will be in my hands and

my orders will be the law!

Stop the truck!

Stop the truck!

Hey! Stop it!

-Stop! -Hey, move!

Please, take us around!

Please! Help me up!

Come on up.

You'll make someone fall.

We'll have fun today! Lots of fun!

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Too many disasters have struck together.

The enemies have surrounded the country from within and outside.

So it is necessary that we remain alert

and be ready to face any situation.

Sir, we've just got information

from the CBI, that there's an international conspiracy

to destroy the country.

Sir, you may also be attacked.

But everything was fine until now.

Now, an issue is being made of petty things.

Sir, considering the situation

we advise you to cancel your programmes today.

Sir, if we cancel our programmes on the basis of rumors

people may misunderstand, and a sense of fear may needlessly arise.

But sir, we can't put your life in any kind of danger.

Sir, this will be doubting the capabilities of our army.

Sir, all arrangements for your security have been made.

A special commando force has been deployed.

Anyway, important work can't be stopped due to a little danger.

He's right.

The financial condition of the country is very precarious.

To help us resolve it, people from across the globe have come here.

If we don't get financial aid in today's meeting

India will be ruined.

The rupee will be devalued, the prices will skyrocket.

Unemployment and hunger will result in turmoil all over the country.

I'll have to attend the meeting.

They banged the jeep! Arrest them!

Get down! Get down!

-Hey! Come here! -Hey!

I am glad you came. Some rogue banged our truck.

You bang our jeep and say that! You create a fight?

-How dare you create a fight! -Sir, why are you...

-We were only having fun, sir. -You were having fun.

-Yes. -Now, you'll be punished for it.

Why punished? We both decided to get married.

-You got married? Congratulations! -Thank you. Thank you.

-Sir! -You got married?

This is too much!

-Come on! -You guys are too much...

Let's arrange for your wedding night! Come on! Come!

-Hey, who is he? -The President!

Hi.

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

-Hats off, Doctor! -Sir.

Hats off to your skill!

Hats off to the wonder of technology, and the magic of plastic surgery!

Fantastic!

Not just one, but five duplicates of the President!

President of India.

Even a mirror will be deceived.

You've made them so identical! Wow!

Nobody can stop me now. Nobody!

Nobody can stop me now.

Say the dialogue.

The country is passing through a very... Sorry.

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters have struck together.

You say it.

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters have struck together.

You.

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters have struck together.

-Sir... -Say the dialogue.

The country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters have struck together, and now...

Yes, say it.

The country... is passing through... a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters... have struck together.

Good. Very good.

But when the game is dangerous

there's no room for mistakes.

All of you are good.

But I need only one of you.

So, which one amongst you will be the pawn

who will take me to my destination?

You?

You?

You?

You? You?

One is gone.

And now...

Two are gone. The decision is getting easier for me.

That leaves... two more.

Who among the two of you?

You would have been saved, but you got afraid.

And the one who fears

is dead!

Mr. President. Mr. President!

Idiot, extend your hand!

I am your slave.

Nathuram, you'll have to first prove your loyalty.

Kill him.

Kill the doctor.

Me? Please... sir...

Please don't kill me!

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Nobody knows the secret now.

Daddy!

What has happened now, Prince?

Your son was insulted in public.

The son of the don was insulted.

Then why do you get yourself humiliated

and that too, in pursuit of an ordinary girl?

You do everything possible to fulfill your every desire.

After all, I am your son. I want what I want!

When will you grow up, my son?

That foolish girl doesn't like you.

And you fool, you don't want to use force against her!

What can I do?

What can you do?

I had heard that you're the Don, and the Don can do anything!

All right! If you don't do anything, I'll do something!

Hey...

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Come on, get in.

-Hey, wait! -Let us out!

Quiet! Quiet!

-Down with enemies of laughter! -Down with them!

-Down with enemies of joy! -Down with them!

-Down with them! -Down with them!

-Down with them! -Down with them!

-Down with them! -Down with them!

-Who the heck is this? -I am Don Quixote speaking.

-Yes, sir! Yes, sir. -Release the girl in the red dress.

-She belongs to me. -Yes, sir!

The girl in the red dress belongs to the Don. Release her.

Ok, sir. Yes, sir. Come on, buddy.

-Keep quiet! -Let us out!

The girl in the red dress...

Hey, girl in the red dress, you're free to go!

We've been asked to release you immediately. You may go.

-What about the others? -Nobody else!

Just a minute! Then I won't go from here either.

What a bizarre girl! I am telling her to go, and she refuses.

Hey! I told you, all of us will go, or else no one will.

Yes, no one will.

-Stop harassing us. -Please go.

I've stated my condition clearly.

Everybody will go, or else no one will.

-Go tell your boss... -She won't go from here.

You can forcefully arrest someone, but you can't forcefully release anyone!

-And if you don't listen to her... -Then she may do something to herself.

I'll kill myself! I'll kill myself!

Stop! Hey, think about them!

Constables! Miss India...

why are you staining the hands of these innocents with blood?

Hand? Show me your hand.

Show me yours.

Your days are numbered, both of you.

How?

How?

The lines of your palms say so!

-Ask me why. -Why?

This woman who is going to commit suicide...

-will destroy both of you. Ask how. -How?

Rack your brains and think.

What will happen if this maiden dies in the lock-up?

What will happen then?

The news and your photographs will be printed in the papers!

"Police atrocities! Miss India murdered in the lock-up!"

"India's death! India's death!"

-Then what? -What?

Articles will be written, there will be an enquiry,

accusations will be made.

-You'll say... -No!

-They'll say... -Yes!

The matter will reach the high court and then the supreme court.

These people will testify against you in court, and then...

Your wives will become widows and your children, orphans.

They'll wander the streets destitute, calling for you!

-No! -No!

-But... Oh, darling, this is... -India!

Everything is possible here.

Perhaps you can use your influence.

Perhaps you can silence them by bribing them.

But the political opposition won't let go of this matter.

-Demonstrations... -Yes!

-Rallies will be held. -Yes!

-The matter will reach the Parliament. -Yes!

-All your past sins will surface. -Yes!

-People will shout slogans against you! -Yes!

-They will pelt you with stones! -No!

Your wives will become widows.

Your children will become orphans.

They'll wander the streets destitute, calling for you!

No!

-But... Oh, darling, this is... -India!

-Everything is possible here. -It is?

Perhaps the stones won't hit you.

Perhaps you'll be easily let off.

-Or perhaps, you'll only be transferred. -Just a transfer.

-To a Godforsaken place! -A Godforsaken place?

-It's possible. But... -But?

One day, in that God forsaken place...

you'll be spending your hard earned money with your children.

Then suddenly...

-Who? Who is it? -Hello.

-I am Don speaking. -Don?

Had I not told you that the girl in the red dress belongs to me?

Sir, I tried hard to let her go, but she didn't listen to me.

-She didn't listen? -No.

How could you let her die?

-You won't be spared now! -Wait...

-The don hangs up. -He hung up!

You're profusely sweating. It is a stormy, dark night!

You try to sleep but can't! You move about restlessly!

At that time, suddenly, a car outside...

The door opens! Four goons come out!

Swords and guns come out! Bullets are fired!

Then? Then?

Your wives become widows.

Your children become orphans.

They'll wander the streets destitute, calling for you.

No!

-But... Oh, darling, this is... -India!

Anything is possible here.

Perhaps we're only exaggerating.

Perhaps the news won't reach the journalists. Relax.

Perhaps the Opposition won't get a whiff of this.

And perhaps, the Don may even forgive you.

It's possible, right?

-But... -But?

One day, you'll collect your extortion money as usual...

and will be playing cards in this jail.

Suddenly... the sound of the anklets chiming.

You turn around. There's nobody.

You turn around to see, but nobody is there.

You turn around to see, but nobody is there.

You turn around to see, but nobody is there.

-Who is it? -Who is it?

The same girl. Miss India.

But she's dead, isn't she?

Her ghost!

And then?

Our wives will become orphans!

Our children will become widows!

-They'll shout on the streets... -They'll shout our names.

Just because of a small mistake

-of yours, your wives... -No!

-Your children... -No!

Release all of them! Take out the keys.

-I'll kill myself! -No, Miss India! They've agreed.

-Sure? -Sure?

-Yes. -The death programme is cancelled!

Yes! Come on, let's get out of here quickly.

One moment. One moment.

-There's a condition. -You won't stay together today.

We've received orders from our superiors.

-No one will understand. -Absolutely not.

-May we go now? Bye. See you. -Bye.

We're alone again.

Your theatre group has gone away. Now?

"She was there and so was I, and the time was colourful. Understand?"

"I wanted to go to Japan but landed in China. Did you understand?"

-What does that mean? -That means... love.

Love?

Love? Oh!

Love? So this is a new item of yours?

Love is no item.

Love is love.

The essence of life. The greatest of bonds.

The storm of emotions! The flight of dreams!

Love.

Get lost!

Hey! What nonsense is this!

I am not being nonsensical, you are.

You were talking about love? And that too, to her?

You've wasted half the night roaming with this broke fellow!

-Come on! -Leave me alone.

Hey, where are you going?

-I won't work tonight. -Your wish doesn't count.

I have three customers waiting. I've even got the advance.

-Not today! -Hey!

There are no Sundays in our profession.

The days of youth are short-lived.

One does not know when it disappears!

That's why I say, make hay while the sun shines! No one will care later.

-Not today! Please! -Hey!

Let go of her hand! Talk courteously!

There comes the knight in shining armour!

Hey! I'll break your face!

Your princess is nothing but a prostitute.

Ask her. Her rates too are fixed.

Do you have money in your pocket? Take her.

Yes. You don't have any. No?

Only a man with empty pockets desires for such things!

Swine! I'll break your jaw!

Do not hit him!

Where are you running off to?

Let him go.

I won't leave him.

I won't leave him.

Miss India, why did you run away from there?

I would have killed him!

Don't you dare touch him! Do what you're supposed to do!

Make me laugh! Make me laugh.

I won't cry today. I won't remember anything.

I won't let anyone interfere. Not even you!

What... what were you saying?

I was saying... love...

In love, one loses one's peace, senses and sleep!

There's a yearning to meet, to touch, to listen to someone.

To have someone be yours, to belong to someone!

There's a longing to live!

Love is a spring where imaginations blossom...

where a poem finds its tune, where desires meet!

Tales of love are created! Peace is found!

The heart is at peace.

Love is that miracle which gives people

a reason for the future, purpose for the present

and the heart of a stranger.

A lonely journey finds its destination!

Love? That's my expertise, buddy!

"I'll die Let me live"

"Don't torture me like this Let me touch you"

"I'll die Let me live!"

"Don't torture me like this Let me touch you"

"Let me touch you"

"I'll die Let me live"

"Don't torture me like this Let me touch you"

"Let me touch you"

"No! No!"

"No! No!"

"Don't touch me, Or you'll regret it"

"If you touch me, You'll get scorched"

"Don't touch me, Or you'll regret it"

"If you touch me, You'll get scorched"

"Don't touch me"

"Don't touch me"

"Let me feel the magic Of your gaze"

"Let me be a part of your dreams"

"Let me be a part Of your heartbeats"

"Let me take away your sorrows"

"Let me quench my thirst"

"Let me touch you"

"No! No!"

"No! No!"

"Don't touch me, or you'll change"

"Don't touch me, or You'll lose your senses"

"Don't touch me, or you'll change"

"Don't touch me, or You'll lose your senses"

"Don't touch me"

"Don't touch me"

"Let me be a part of Your hidden dreams"

"Tell me one of your secrets"

"Open your heart to me, Let go of your inhibitions"

"Fill your emptiness with love"

"Let me lose myself in you"

"Let me touch you"

"Don't touch me"

"Let me touch you"

"Don't touch me"

"Let me..."

I saved you from the police. But who will save you from me?

You still haven't left her.

You're the one who won't stop chasing us. What are you doing here?

We thought you would be crying with your head in your father's lap.

-Have you forgotten the thrashing? -Hey!

-She'll come with me! -No!

You'll come with me. Didn't you hear?

Didn't you hear her refuse?

-Stop! -No!

You darn...

Run, Miss India! Come on! Let's get out of here!

Kill him!

No!

No!

Give me your hand. Come.

Get up.

I am scared! I want to cry! Please, don't let me cry!

No problem. Look here.

For how long will we flee like this?

He's very powerful. He can do anything.

Don't worry, Miss India. He can't hurt you.

But he'll surely kill you!

That's good! In that case, we both will always be together.

We'll keep saving each other.

You don't know whom you've crossed.

His father is the Don. He can buy all of India!

I am nobody in comparison.

I'll go away. It'll put an end to the problem.

Hey! I even got my nose broken for you, and you're leaving? Great!

Fine! Go if you wish to!

Who am I to stop you? What do I have?

I am just a poor unemployed tramp, right?

But at least you're alive. If I stay back, you won't even be that!

At least, I'll die for someone else! It's better than an aimless life!

Miss India, whatever I've loved has always been snatched from me!

My parents, my home... and even my life!

What do you mean?

Miss India, please don't leave me!

I know that this isn't a part of the deal we had made.

But now, I need you.

I am very scared, Miss India. I am very scared.

Of what?

Of death.

I won't be living long.

-A doctor told me I have cancer. -Cancer?

But I don't want to die, Miss India.

I don't want to die!

I don't want to die!

-You'll never leave me now, will you? -No!

-Promise? -Promise.

That was fun, right? The pleasure of crying is something else, isn't it?

-You mean this was a joke? -Yes.

You idiot! You wretch!

I hate you.

-No problem. But you did have fun? -Yes.

Then give me five rupees.

I am famished. But I won't eat pav bhaji this time.

Let's go.

Your face has changed!

Your luck has changed.

Everything has changed. But my temperament is unchanged.

How your fortunes have changed, Nathuram!

President! The president of India!

What jokes you play, God!

Perhaps even You can't save this country now.

Hey, gorgeous!

Sir, what are you doing? Please let go!

Walls here not only have ears but eyes too!

No problem. It's a matter of a few moments.

Tomorrow, I'll rule India.

And you'll be my queen.

Do not be afraid, my sweetheart!

Do not be afraid, my beloved!

I was not born a bad man.

That is the problem with power.

Once you have power

it starts itching.

No!

You understand the meaning of itch, don't you?

Itching... itching of the brains.

Itching of the heart... and then...

The itching of the body!

Leave me! Please, leave me!

All right. Go.

I have let go of you.

How can I let go of you?

Nathuram!

What's going on here?

Sir... I am sorry.

Foolish, ordinary man!

Don't you have the sense to recognize your own luck?

I want you to occupy the highest chair in the country.

And you go on your knees?

Remember, nothing remains hidden from me.

I see everything.

You'll do nothing against my wishes. Nothing!

Yes... yes.

-Have you read the files carefully? -Yes!

Have you memorised what you have to say on TV?

Yes... yes.

Have you clearly understood the rest?

-Yes. -Why are you talking this way?

-Yes. I understood. -What?

Yes. I understood.

-Do you stammer? -No!

-What? -Sometimes... a little...

Oh, God! Can't anything happen right in this country?

You cheat!

Do you know with how much difficulty I made this plan,

after how long, this opportunity has come up?

And at what price, I made you?

And you stammer! I'll kill you!

What about your plan?

Now... I am the only one left.

The other duplicates are no more.

Now, this country will be destroyed only by me.

Sir, please... please don't worry.

I get normal once I start delivering the dialogues. Try me.

This country is passing through a very dangerous phase.

Many disasters have struck at once.

-Enough! -Did you see that, sir?

I am shocked at how you could have passed.

How was your weakness not detected?

Nobody can see everything, sir. Not even God.

Or would the country be in this state?

Conceal your flaw if you can, or else you're finished!

Sir, may I ask you something?

A pawn does not question, it only obeys orders!

The question has been on my mind, and it'll bother me.

If it bothers me, my mind can go haywire!

Sir, you never blink?

The dice gets overturned in the blink of an eye.

The stakes are lost in the blink of an eye.

Luck changes in the blink of an eye.

Apocalypse occurs in the blink of an eye.

When one blinks one's eyelids, for that moment...

a man falls asleep.

And to sleep is to die!

A man should never sleep! Do you understand?

You're great, sir. But even I am not destined to sleep.

Dreams don't let me sleep.

When I close my eyes, nightmares begin to frighten me, sir.

If you get scared of dreams

how can you change reality, fool?

Sir... I am not as foolish... as you think I am.

I clearly understand what you are.

But don't think yourself to be too smart

for that will be your greatest folly!

Please, no!

Nathuram, I've made you with great difficulty.

But destroying you will be very easy.

Remember, you'll play the role

and I'll write the story!

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

No!

-No. -Please.

No! Certainly not.

If the heart is pure, every crime is condoned!

But... but stealing?

-Stealing? No. We'll ask her. -Ask?

Ma'am, would you object if I borrow your clothes?

Of course, you're above such materialism. Why do you need this?

She's silent. That means I can go ahead. You too ask.

-Right! But I... -Ask!

Ok.

Hello, sir. Your clothes are fantastic.

Could you lend them to me for a night? I want to woo a girl.

-What? -Nothing.

Yes. A girl doesn't get impressed with such dirty clothes.

Please, lend your clothes to me for a night. All right!

You were right, Miss India. He's very generous.

Thank you, sir. And your hairstyle is very stylish!

And your wife is stunning too.

Don't you have any kids?

Yes!

Lovely angel, what will be the punishment for this?

It'll take at least ten minutes for anyone to come here.

We'll have escaped by then.

Come on, become a thief.

Sorry.

-Don't look. -Never!

Turn away!

Hey! You've become a gentleman!

-What's wrong? -I am feeling giddy.

Why?

You look stunning!

-Come on! -What?

Come on, or we'll be in trouble!

Thank you, sir. But don't tell anyone.

Come on! Or you'll get us in trouble!

Come on!

Look there!

-No, not there! Here! -The cops are standing there!

They'll save us from the other cops!

-You'll get us caught! -Come on! Throw the bag there!

-It has my stuff. -Pick it up later!

Come on!

-Hello. -Excuse me.

Hi.

I've seen you somewhere.

You got deceived too. You must have met my twin brother.

Mine too... I mean, my twin sister.

My name is Ram and that useless fellow's name is...

-Shyam. -Hey, you know him too.

My name is Geeta. My sister's name is...

-Seeta. -Hey, they know her too.

We were very young when we got...

-separated in the fair. -You know everything!

Even our mothers get deceived. But you need not be.

They're downtrodden beggars, and we're the classy rich.

-Where's the entry? -Come through here.

-Thank you. -Go on.

The boss is here.

Hey! Where have we come?

Fairyland!

-Everything ok? -Yes, sir.

-There should be no error. -There won't be, sir. Don't worry.

-Have you checked the ribbon fuse? -Yes, sir.

The smoke bomb will explode when the ribbon gets cut.

Good.

Miss India!

Hey!

-Nathuram... -Yes?

-Everything is in your hands now. -Yes, sir.

There should not be a second's delay. Understand?

Yes...

-Stop stammering! -Understood!

Take him to the venue.

Don... Move!

All the best.

Miss India, being with you, I remember my childhood.

Let's play hide-and-seek. Try to find me!

Who are you? How did you get inside?

-What did you see? -See? I saw nothing.

I didn't see a thing. I never see anything! Never!

-Are you blind? -You have amazing eyesight!

I am blind since childhood. I've grown up in darkness.

And I've been scorned by everyone.

You talk of seeing?

I've never seen the sun, the moon,

the day, the night.

So much so that I've not even seen Sholay.

-Hey! -Sir...

"Give me this hand!"

Hero!

Miss India, where were you? I got lost looking for you.

Fortunately, I met this nice uncle...

Nice uncle, she's Miss India.

I can't fathom

how people are entering amidst such tight security?

Yes! Who are these people?

Don! Don, hurry up. They're coming.

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Hey! Where did he go?

Don't fire! Catch them.

Go under it.

Hi.

Mr. Dhirubai Malpani, chairman of Expo-Indian.

He's Mr. Quixote, the country's richest non-resident Indian.

The country's progress is in your hands.

I love India.

We all love India.

-And she's... -And she's Miss India.

-Hello. -Hello, sir.

I... I am a common man.

A common man is the most useful person of the country.

Thank you, sir.

Come on, sir!

Come on!

Sir! Your spectacles!

Sir, here...

Come on, sir.

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Gentlemen, friends...

now begins Operation Storm

which will rob this country of its independence.

And I'll rule India!

I'll press a button here, and bombs will explode there,

riots will erupt,

and you'll watch the destruction of the country.

Here and right now!

Not with your eyes, but through the camera's eye.

You know, when I was a kid...

I used to cry for the moon.

My mother used to say that once I grew up,

I could snatch it from the sky!

The moon appears beautiful only from a distance.

Go close, and you see the blemishes in it.

-I don't mind it. -Stop this charade!

Hey...

Hey! Why are you so scared?

This joke will go beyond endurance.

So? That's how life is.

What do you know about life? For you, everything is a joke.

-Miss India... -It's them!

Come on, hurry up!

-Hey! -Catch them!

You dare to back answer me!

Start the car!

Stop! Where are you going?

Let him go!

-Who is he? Tell me, who is he? -Let go of me!

You don't fear anything. Then why do you fear him?

-Please, forget it! -How can I?

He hits you. He tried to kill me. But you save him!

-Who is he? -What difference does it make?

You'll have to tell me! Who is he? Tell me, who is he?

He's my father!

He's my father! I am his own daughter, and he pimps me out!

He hits me if I object.

Miss India, why don't you run away from here?

Where do I go? I don't trust anybody.

Don't cry. Hush now.

Did you see the blemishes now?

Let's go from here.

-What's this? -Where?

What are you hiding?

I am not hiding it, I am just keeping it back inside.

Look. Hey, it's a photo!

I am an actor. I was obsessed about being one since childhood.

The villagers said that I was crazy...

and that I'd be ok, once I was sent to the city.

So I had this photo taken and sent here. But...

But the doctors here say that I have no future.

That means that my time is finished.

So, that wasn't a joke?

You really have cancer?

Hey! Look.

Did you see the blemishes now?

Kill that wretch! Kill him!

Let's get away from here!

I think tonight is the night of destruction.

Hey, what are you doing, buddy?

What are you doing, buddy?

Stop everything, for God's sake.

Hey, what are you doing brother?

Listen to me.

"Do what you wish to"

"You have your chance today"

"Do what you wish to"

"You have your chance today"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"Everything will be Done differently today"

"Everyone will remember this day"

"Everything will change"

"Do what you wish to, to Your heart's content"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

Destruction.

"Neither you nor we Will remain the same"

"Neither happiness nor Sorrow will remain"

"Smile and ask one last favour"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"Who knows when what will happen?"

"Who knows when what will happen?"

"What will you do, Knowing what is happening?"

"Forget everything and have fun"

"Just don't complain"

"Forget everything and have fun"

"Just don't complain"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

"This night is the Night of destruction"

Daddy!

What happened, my son?

I am in big trouble.

Today is a day to rejoice.

Why have you created an air of mourning?

Daddy!

She's lost again. I need your army of rogues to find here.

-Nothing can happen today. -What?

Everybody is on duty.

-Fine. Then I'll go. -You won't go anywhere!

You're not at all concerned about me. I don't matter to you.

Why should you be bothered if I go anywhere?

Fool! Riots have broken out all over the city. There's danger.

Danger? So she'll also be in danger?

Hey! Where are you going? Catch him!

Let me save my Munna!

I have to save my son. Please leave me.

Get back. Get back.

Sir, we don't know where he has gone.

-Find him. -But there are riots going on.

-Then stop the riots. -That's not possible, sir.

What? If I can incite violence, I can stop it too!

People are fighting. They're beyond control now.

Sir, it's not advisable for you to go out now.

-He's my son! -But where would we search for him?

In hell! Come on!

-Come on! -Let go!

Did you think you could be saved from the son of the Don?

Even if you were in hell, I would have found you there!

No!

So, he's your hero?

Or... a joker?

Dance.

-Dance! -Hey! Stop!

Hero!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Miss India!

Hey! Stop!

Oh god.

Stop the riots! What nonsense are you talking?

It's Don Quixote here. Stop the riots!

Let go of me!

You've shown your true colors! You can forcefully abduct me...

but you can't forcefully change my feelings!

Forcefully? I did this to save your life!

Don't you know that riots are going on?

You force me, and now want my gratitude?

What am I to do? You...

-Don't come close! I'll kill you! -Stop!

If anyone comes close to me...

I'll stab the knife into my own heart! I'll kill myself!

Then you can keep loving... my corpse!

I am mad! I could have used force if I wanted to!

I could have done anything I wanted to

and no one would say a word.

But I am mad. I want you to love me and come to me willingly.

-Never! -Why? What do I lack?

I have the looks and physique of a hero!

I impress everyone I meet. I have style! I have a killer smile.

My appearance is flawless and has gazes riveted.

I am the life and pride of society and parties!

I am a dashing dancer and a smashing fighter.

And I know I am a fantastic lover!

So what?

What am I to do? What am I to do?

Hey, hero! What can you do? Nothing!

Where do I search? Where?

You're a wanderer. Where will you look for her?

But her life is in danger.

Hey! Do you know how much danger you will face there?

There's danger everywhere. Hey! This is no drama!

The threat, the hoodlums and the danger are for real here.

In any case, for how many hours have you known her?

Feelings can't be measured. Feelings?

Hey, worry about your life! Get going! Get away from here!

Hey... catch this.

Keep your coin! Miss India!

"Yes, I love you a lot"

"There's no doubt I love you"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes, I adore you"

"I lay this life at your feet"

"I'll give up this world for you"

"Smile and listen to me"

"Yes, I adore you"

"My strength, my wealth"

"My status and my destiny"

"My strength, my wealth"

"My status and my destiny"

"I dedicate all these things In your name"

"No one can touch me"

"I am a dangerous beauty"

"You can't touch me I am a flowing stream"

"I am a whirlpool I am a dream"

"I am lightning, just to be seen"

"It's that attitude I am besotted by"

"Yes, I adore you"

"The whole world bows at my feet"

"Time works according to my will"

"The one who can do Anything for you"

"I kneel before you"

"Yes, I adore you"

"Yes, I love you a lot"

"There's no doubt I love you"

"Did I do something wrong? Yes!"

-Why? -What?

Why do you only want me?

Because you're you.

Why... why don't you like me?

Because you're you!

You'll repent! You will!

Oh, Lord above...

whatever You are, wherever You are,

help me today. Please!

Hero! They kidnapped Miss India.

-Did you see where? -Yes.

Wow, my hero! Come on, show me where they have gone!

Hey, driver! Turn the car!

I, Don Quixote, order you to stop all this!

What are you doing?

I, Don Quixote, order you to stop the riots!

Stop! I told you to start the riots.

And I am telling you to stop them. Stop!

What are you doing? Stop it.

I implore you to stop.

I say, stop!

Hey, stop! Don't burn me alive!

Incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Sir, the army chief wishes to meet you!

Later.

-Sir, he says it's urgent! -Later.

Sir, we have news that rioting is spreading all over the country!

Later.

-Sir, the terrorists have... -Later.

-Sir, bombs are exploding... -Later.

-Sir, files... -Later!

-Sir... -Later!

Later! Later!

Later! Later!

Later! Later!

-There has been a disaster! -Who permitted you inside?

You don't understand? Our game is over.

What do you mean?

The Don himself got killed in the riots.

So?

So we're finished too.

What will we do now?

What would you do if you were in my place?

I would flee.

That's the difference between both of us.

You don't know how to grab an opportunity.

What do you mean?

I mean that tonight, history will be made.

-How? -You won't understand...

for you're a mere traitor.

Traitor?

Do you know the punishment for treason?

Death!

The traitor wanted to kill me! He wanted to kill me!

Traitor!

What happened?

Open the gates fast!

-Yes? What's the matter? -There's bad news, Prince.

-What happened? -Your father...

-What happened to dad? -The Don is no more.

The Don is dead.

He went out to find you and got killed in the riots.

What nonsense!

It's the truth, Prince. Come and see for yourself. Come.

Is this a joke?

What's this? This...

Am I a fool?

Dad...

-Is this a joke? -No. It's the truth.

Hey, you!

Did you think you can buy me by decking me with jewellery?

Will I have a change of heart because I've had a change of clothes?

Take your jewellery! I don't want it! Leave me!

I'll kill you!

No!

This has happened because of you.

Nobody can save you now.

Not even me.

Run. Run!

Run! Run!

Come to your senses. You're not the Don's son, but the Don himself now.

The situation is delicate.

Our duplicate president is betraying us.

If we don't act soon, he'll finish us off.

For we know the truth about him.

We have to take some action immediately.

-First, kill her. -No!

She...

She's my reward.

There's very little time. We have to leave soon.

Change your clothes.

You're not the Don's son, but the Don himself now.

Don Quixote.

Come on! Come!

Don't move!

Didn't you hear what they said?

I am not the Don's son now, but the Don himself.

The master of my own fate!

Only what I wish will happen! Understand?

Never!

Foolish girl!

You are very lucky that the Don loves you.

What else you can do without me?

What? Oh, the fake hero.

You desire death so much that you came till here?

No, real hoodlum!

Even if you were in hell...

I would have found you there.

-Let go of Miss India, or... -Or what?

-Or else it'll be disastrous. -Hey, you wretched actor!

Delivering dialogues here only enhances the danger.

Junior Quixote, a coward doesn't become a brave man

by holding a gun, and I... won't get scared.

You wretch! You'll die a real death today!

Shoot if you have the courage! I stand before you.

But... don't miss the target.

My patience is running out, and so is your time...

and so is this game.

Hero!

My hand!

Let him go!

Will you become a hero?

Will you become a hero?

Will you become a hero?

Are you badly hurt?

I overacted a bit.

Come.

Don! "I am the Don." Do I look like the Don?

No.

-Then? -You look like a true hero!

-Don! -Come on!

Don!

Gorgeous!

-Don! -We want privacy. Come on.

Don, it's very late.

Then why go that way? Let's go this way.

-Hello. -Hi.

Hi.

Respected leaders of the world...

representatives of international industries...

and the other wealthy invitees...

Welcome, everybody.

All of you have come to help us resolve...

the financial crisis in India.

But what we want is not charity, but buyers.

You must surely be surprised.

But looking at the country's economic, social,

and political conditions...

we have reached the conclusion

that we have to sell India.

-Miss India, what's happening here? -Perhaps a dangerous joke.

They say that history repeats itself.

And this repetition is called progress.

Do you remember that 150 years ago

for 150 years, a company ruled this country?

The profit made by the East India Company is history in itself.

History is witness

that whoever has ruled this country has made a fortune.

So the time has come now for some fortunate ones among you

to make both money and history.

Today, India will be auctioned here.

Mother India.

Really?

It's too good to be true.

Everything in India will be auctioned.

Its people, lands, skies, air, water, forests, mountains,

industries, agriculture, art, science, culture... everything!

The fate of 850 million people will be legally and absolutely

in the hands of the one who makes the highest bid.

Come and bid! A lifetime opportunity!

Do anything you want to India, from Kashmir to Kanyakumari!

Come! Come and buy India! Buy something of India!

Buy India and be Indian!

Hello.

You have oil here as well as bail in the courts.

Along with Kashmir and the Taj Mahal, I've heard there's Tihar jail too!

This is a cheap joke played by cheap people.

If there's profit in a joke, what is the harm?

Who can save a country that is willing to be sold?

The people who enjoy the country's independence later auction it off.

Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai, Jodhpur, Jaunpur, Kanpur,

Bilaspur, Hyderabad, Faizabad, Kashmir, Punjab,

Sindh, Gujarat, Maharashtra, the South, Orissa, Bengal,

the Vindhya range, the rivers Yamuna and Ganga!

Let the flag fly high!

Bring on everything!

The auction begins now.

Come on. Buy India.

-Do you think we should buy? -Yes, grab it, grab it.

This golden goose will be ours.

Now begins the game of sale.

Congratulations! Start!

One billion.

One billion.

-Two billion. -Two billion.

-Four billion. -Five billion.

Six billion.

Does that mean the value of one man is only 67.49 rupees?

-Seven billion. -Eight billion.

-8.75 billion.

-Ten billion. -Ten billion.

-12 billion. -16 billion.

-16 billion. -20 billion.

20... billion.

22 billion.

25 billion.

27 billion.

-30 billion. -30... 30 billion.

35 billion.

41 billion. 41 billion.

-50 billion. -50... 50 billion!

-55 billion. -61 billion.

65 billion.

-65... 65 billion! -70 billion!

-72.5 billion. -72.5 billion.

-75 billion. -85 billion.

85 billion.

-Do something. -What can I do, dear?

85 million, one!

85 million, two!

One?

-Say! -One million... billion... 100 billion.

100... billion!

One billion!

-200 billion. -200 billion.

-300 billion. -300 billion!

-700 billion. -800 billion!

-900 billion. -1500 billion.

2000 billion.

2000 billion.

-2100 billion. -2100... billion!

The value of India is 2100 billion.

3000 billion? 4000 billion.

4000 billion! 4000 billion! India...

-5000 billion. -5000 billion!

6000 billion.

10,000 billion.

10,000 billion.

-12,000 billion! -12,000 billion?

You kid! You dare to outwit me!

-Who is the madman? -Bloody fool.

Son, would you like to make a deal?

30,000 billion!

He has gone stark, raving mad!

Hey, sit down!

The man has lost his mind!

He's crazy! Throw him out!

50,000 billion.

-80,000 billion! -India is slipping out of our hands!

100,000 billion!

100,000 billion!

The value of India is 100,000 billion.

India is sold for 100,000 billion!

Miss India!

I didn't do anything!

The incredible brain of Don Quixote!

Did you think you had spoilt our plans by killing one general?

But you forgot that all the soldiers here are ours.

I... didn't... think at all.

Here.

Hero!

Over! Your drama is over!

The climax has just begun, baldy!

Take him away!

No!

He wants to be a hero!

Don't you dare touch her!

-Don't you dare touch my Miss India! -Where are you going?

Let go of me!

You and I are eternally bound. Come on!

You father isn't here to save you now!

I'll return! Hey, baldy!

Hey, baldy!

Be careful, you wretches.

Who are you?

Hello. I am here because of my madness. What about you?

There's a conspiracy going on to destroy this country.

-But who are you? -I... I am the president of this country.

I see.

President... Oh, I am... I am sorry, sir. Hello, Mr. President.

Pardon me, but are you the genuine one or the fake one?

Fool! The genuine one!

Is this... yours?

Yes.

You're incredible!

Everything appeared blurry before.

-But I can see everything clearly now. -Thank you, sir.

We have to do something. We have to save India.

-India... India! Miss India! -Yes...

-Current! -What's wrong with you?

Stop trembling and think!

Yes. Think. I...

Think.

Sir... sir, I have an idea. Can you act a little?

Act? No, I can't!

All right. But what do I have to do?

Come closer, sir.

-No! I can't! -You have to sir. We have no choice.

-I... -We have to save India, sir.

Do it, sir. Please try.

Very good, sir. Twitch your mouth too, sir.

You act very well, sir. Keep shaking.

Very good! Keep shaking, sir! Just a little while longer!

Hey, look what has happened! Please keep shaking, sir.

Somebody come in here and help!

Oh, God! What has happened here?

Why are you standing there and gaping?

He has had a heart attack!

Keep shaking...

Why are you staring? Come inside!

Come inside, wretch! He's in such agony!

-What's wrong? -Oh, no...

Relax! Relax. Everything is all right.

It's all right.

What do you want... sir?

What you're selling. Start!

I said, start!

So, India's...

auction...

begins... begins again.

-One. -100,000 billion.

One... rupee.

The one who wishes to die may raise his hand.

Nobody?

Nobody!

One rupee, one.

One rupee, two.

One rupee, three.

The country is mine!

India is gone... for a rupee!

Munna, my son!

The hero has come!

The hero has come!

-How are you, my friend? -There's destruction everywhere.

-Hero! -Don't worry...

We were already poor. Now we have nothing.

Don't worry. He... he's the president.

What an interesting name!

He's the president! The president of India!

The president of India!

Do you understand?

Don't touch, it hurts.

He really is! Look there!

-He's really the president! -Greet him.

You were on TV a while back.

You don't realize... India is in big trouble.

-What happened to Miss India? -I'll explain. There's a big conspiracy.

There's a big conspiracy. We have to somehow save India.

-We have to save Miss India? -Yes!

-We have to save India first! -No. Miss India!

-We have to save India. -No, Miss India first.

We'll save them both! Come with me!

We have to save India! Come on!

Everybody, listen well!

Bow before the new king of India!

Bow!

I am pleased!

The king wants a crown!

The whole plan got ruined!

After acquiring the country and its wealth,

the king wants a queen now!

-Tell me. -No!

Everything is mine! Legally!

This country, its land, its people!

You too! Now speak!

-No! -Yes!

I give you a last chance. I'll make you my queen.

Or I'll destroy you!

I'll now punish you in a way that nobody ever was!

Save me. Please, save me.

Stop him. Save me, please.

Please stop him.

Somebody save me.

Let go of Miss India!

What will become of you now, hero?

-Hail! -Hail!

Betrayers of the country!

-I'll kill you! -Let me go. I was a victim

in the Don's hands.

Come on, baldy. Your time has come!

Hero!

You cheat! You traitor! You tried to sell your country!

I haven't done anything!

Let me go! Pardon me!

I haven't done anything!

-I haven't done anything! -Hold him!

-Stop! -You wanted to auction India, did you?

Give it to me!

This is the water of India! Drink this.

Drink it! Drink!

Don't kill him! Stop! Don't kill him!

Drink! Drink until you can drink no more!

-Ten! -Nine!

-Eight! -Seven!

-Six! -Six!

-Five! -Four!

-Three! -Two!

-One! -One!

Come on, Miss. India!

Let me go! I won't spare him!

Come on.

She is mine.

Miss India, we're safe!

They say no one can kill the one who is destined to live!

Hey, why are you silent? What's the matter?

-You're saying that? -Yes. Why?

But... you have cancer.

Yes, Miss India.

The doctor had said that I'd live for six months.

But it has been a year and a half now since he said that.

-Really? -Yes!

But how?

Oh, darling, this is...

-India! -India!