Original subtitles

Don't feel it growing day by day.

Look,

look, look, there's one.

Oh, yeah.

You see, this has got a totally different feel and vibe about it. You

see, everyone's got space.

It's laid out properly.

First impressions count.

I want to drive in here. It's calling to me. It's saying, come and stop here for

a few nights.

Look at all the facilities on site as well. You've got your games room, your

cafes. Of course you do, because they go, what do people like? And they give

to them. And look, this is proof that it works.

And on top of that, look, what's that say?

No vacancies.

No room at the inn, missus.

No vacancies, ma 'am.

No vacancies.

Yeah, look, see, Mal?

We could have a billboard just here with a picture of the swimming pool and the

lake because you can't see our park from the road.

Yeah, also, what about if we put, you know, a Kissimmee Sunshine Park neon

above it?

Yeah. Mal, that's a great idea.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. How about we get a couple of flagpoles for the entrance,

yeah? One with the stars and stripes.

And one with a union track.

Two flags at the entrance.

Perfect. Then you drive in. You're on the ice room.

You, not me.

My carburetor needs cleaning. And beer needs ice.

What am I going to do now?

I'll stay for a fortnight, please.

this morning.

We can make ours as beautiful as that.

Yeah, yeah.

It's right by the ocean, though.

Well, we've got a lake.

We have got a lake with alligators in it. Well, the sea has sharks and our

pool's perfect.

It just needs a little bit of attention and a little bit of love, you know,

sprucing up.

Do you know what would be lovely?

To have lots of young families, you know, around the pool and like, you

ice cream shack and like a cafe area overlooking the lake.

The setting's perfect.

It's just that, you know, there are the people that you want and the people that

you've got.

Right. Right. So when the people that you've got don't pay their rent, then

sometimes you need to say goodbye because this place needs to make money

we're on our way home.

No, definitely, yeah.

So, the people who are behind with their rent are Troy Marshall, Pastor Wilson,

Ryan and Dorothy Kaczynski.

Right, so how do we do this?

We give them notices to quit. I'll print them out for you.

We're out of ice.

I'm going for ice.

Good afternoon, Mr. Pemberton.

Good afternoon, Aidan.

Pastor Wilson.

Mr. Pemberton.

Let me just say what I've got to say, okay? But, um... You are way behind on

your rent. You're six weeks behind, and the thing is, it just can't go on, so...

I'm sorry, but time's up.

What? Time is up. You mean the six weeks?

No, no, no. Just read the letter. I don't have my glasses.

Can you just tell me what it says?

We're busy.

I said we're busy. Go away.

Hey, what did you say?

One notice to quit for non -payment of rent.

What?

You've had repeated warnings.

Wait here.

Ah, Mrs. Krasinski.

One for you, too.

Give me those.

You'll have your rent by the end of the day.

Yeah, well, reluctantly, we're past that point.

You've also repeatedly refused to take down your palisade, and though it should

be none of my business, you're, um...

flagrant liaisons with Mrs. Kaczynski every time her husband goes out, are

sooner or later bound to cause trouble.

You listen here, you son of a bitch.

I'm coming, doctor.

Oh, you're a big one. I'm a snake!

Are you okay?

Oh, dear Lord.

Troy?

Troy?

Do you need a hand?

The rise record continues.

Where did it come from? What's it doing here?

It must be, what, 15 feet long.

You know, I bet those people that went racing out of here in their RV this

morning was the ones that left it. That's it?

Yeah, yeah.

Probably right. You know, a lot of people buy those things for pets.

And they get too big, and then they got to let them loose.

And I bet that's why they were parked so close to the woods.

That's it.

That's it.

Well, a big thank you to Troy.

Yeah, absolutely.

Praise the Lord.

Hey, what about my raccoon cage?

Well, there's a snake in it right now.

Still throwing a hero off the park?

I tried.

I really tried.

Troy said he'd pay and, uh... Well, what with that and the snake.

Give him to me.

I'll do it.

Hey.

How'd it go?

How'd they take it?

Couldn't do it. You're right. It's impossible.

Shined and fueled with a kiss.

I might catch up later.

Do I take it you guys are the managers?

We're the owners.

Oh, you're a wrestler. Sorry, we're from Britain. How do you do? I'm big in

Britain. I'm big everywhere.

I'm Krakatoa. The human volcano.

On tour with the Titans.

Looking to rest up for a couple of nights.

Hey, well, you're in luck.

Yeah?

Tell me, do you have a Troy Marshall staying here?

Well, yes.

Yes, we do.

20 bucks? You're pulling my dick?

That's a 15 -foot... Yeah, a red -tailed boa.

No, you got off more than that. No.

If not, I'll come down to the pet store and shiver.

I know I keep asking you to join things, and I'll stop. It's not fair. But this

is special, and you're going to love it, okay? It's our league club.

Oh, fantastic.

Wow. What?

The ring. Your ring.

It's not really a thing. It's not an engagement ring. I know. It's a purity

ring. I've got to have one of those. I am so envious.

Yeah. I just hope one day I'll find a boy who won't need to have sex with me.

Yeah. Fingers crossed.

They're over four plots now.

Well, that's good, isn't it?

Yeah, over two nights, that's $516.

Go and get it.

The rules are you pay in advance.

Yeah, but don't you think, you know, we should make an exception?

Mal, we're trying to get people to pay their rent. OK, OK, I'm going, I'm

I'm going.

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

So, everything all right? You got everything you need? The owner.

Come up here. Great.

OK, thanks.

There you go.

Mr Cracker Tower.

Call me Cracker. Oh, wow.

Mr Cracker.

I'm Mel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dog Tag Bear is where on this park?

Dog Tag... Sorry, what?

Dog Tag Bear.

Troy Marshall. Oh, Troy... Yeah, well, his RV is the converted prison van over

there.

OK.

Go tell him that Krakatoa is here for his rematch.

Are you saying that Troy is a wrestler?

If you haven't ever heard of the Krakatoa dog tag feud, look it up.

It's legendary.

It's going to be settled here in this there ring.

Right.

Would you mind us publicizing that?

Mind it?

I want it.

Publicity is like oxygen in our game.

Quiet, lovely.

Did you get the money?

They're not carrying wallets at the moment, but I will.

Listen, go and Google Rakatoa versus Dog Tag Bear. If a load of stuff comes up,

we'll start thinking no vacancy signs.

What? Just go Google Krakatoa versus Dog Tag Bear, right? This could be a

massive marketing opportunity, yeah?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

It's all the same.

Dog Tag Bear.

Only the names will change.

Troy. Every day, it seems we're wasting away. Troy.

Another place where the faces are...

What?

Do you want

to come in?

My parents are out.

Come on.

I always meet Chad on Tuesdays. Just for a swim then.

You can borrow Freddy's trunk.

I can't keep Chad waiting.

So you'd rather hang out with your mates than me.

Well, thanks a bunch. Give Chad my regards.

Yeah, Chad's a 13 -year -old autistic kid.

Look, I help with his care. I'm a volunteer.

And showing up late would be letting him down.

So... Okay.

So, Troy used to be a big -time wrestler once. Yes, Dog Tag Bear.

He beat Krakatoa five times. He beat him on his last fight ever. Thank you so

much. And when Krakatoa got inducted into the Hall of Fame, Dog Tag Bear

Hall of Fame, he couldn't beat me with my arm hanging off. He's a cheating

douchebag. I'm so sorry, Jean, but this is good.

Because it's a grudge match.

Mal, it's a grudge match. So you mean people are going to want to know about

this? Oh, you bet. Call the TV channels.

I always knew that Troy was hiding something in his past.

Do we know yet what time they're going to fight?

No, Troy's not there at the moment.

Mal, you were right. This is something we can use to publicize the park.

Aidan, did I just hear that correctly? Did my wife just say I was right?

Hello? I'm out here at Kissimmee Sunshine Park.

We have a big wrestling match happening here tomorrow.

Cat Burr, I saw you with Jen.

And whenever you were on your tiptoes and you were led around by that nose of

yours, we know where that's heading. But that can't happen with our next door

neighbor.

Hey, sweet girl.

Hi. I'll call you back. Don't move.

Hi, so how was date night with Conan?

Have you heard of True Love Waits?

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Oh, honey.

Right,

so he's into that, and I'm really confused.

I mean, it explains why I didn't make a move, but I really like him. No, I'm

kissing. What do I do?

You should talk this through with your mom.

Come on.

I just texted her.

Said she'd be out of the park until late.

Oh, well, I'll take you. I mean, she'll want to see you.

You? Yeah.

Hiya. What's going on? What's happening? I'm about to take your sister to the

park. Come with.

No, I'm all right.

Alejandro's here. We'll stay.

Yeah, no. Your mom's going to be late. So I know how you are with that loud

music when you are home alone.

Ah. Uh, Pastor Wilson.

Having a tidy up here. Good. Get it out of sight, because you can't leave it

here. No, I'll check the weather forecast.

There's no rain scheduled until the end of next week. No, no, no, no, no, no.

All of it back in the RV or around the back. I've got a big event tomorrow, and

I need the... Do you know what? I'm going to give you a hand. Come on. All

right. All right.

Troy, can I have a word?

Troy!

Keep your voice down.

Listen, I'm leaving. I'm going.

Your money's in the mail.

No, no, no, Troy, Troy, Troy, you don't need to leave.

There's no rush for the money.

I don't know whether you noticed, but Cracker Toe has arrived.

Yeah, I know. Make sure he doesn't know I'm here.

Oh. Did you tell... You told him, didn't you? Wait, he asked for you by name, I

mean. Son of a bitch. Pemberton, what the hell is wrong with you?

If he comes over here, I swear to God, I'm going to tear your head off. No, no,

wait, wait.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You give, and then you take it away.

This is my first time out here.

I don't believe it.

That's the Titans.

What?

They only ever fight with Krakatoa. Come on.

Mom, local TV are coming.

WFKO TV. It's a cable channel. It covers Daytona Beach all the way to Orlando.

They want to do a feature for tomorrow night's news, so we need to know the

time ASAP.

Yeah, um... Hiya. Hi.

Unfortunately, Troy says no.

What? He's going. He's leaving the park.

Troy is not going to fight.

No!

Oh, good, no!

Troy!

Troy,

please, is there nothing we can say to make you stay?

Get off the vehicle.

Please, Troy.

Get off the vehicle!

Salutation, senorita.

The great bull and his young calves.

Would you like what you see?

I'm more of a wiener schnitzel kind of gal.

Well, state -of -the -art RV.

Doing well for yourself, I see, dog tag.

Gather round.

Let's have witnesses.

That's dog tag, Barry.

My grandfather said he's the greatest fighter ever.

Get out of here, kid.

Okay. Last time I tried to get this guy for a rematch, he snuck off.

So in front of witnesses, Krakatoa challenges Dog Tag Bear to a final fight

that there ring tomorrow afternoon.

What do you say, Dog Tag?

Out of the shoulder.

Troy.

Challenge accepted.

Get in!

Hey, Mr. Owner, Mrs. Owner. Yeah?

Three beer and hot dogs for everyone.

You got it, dude.

Set it up.

That is on.

So when I mentioned the name, Cracker Toa, to WFKO TV, right?

Didn't bat an eyelid. Said we'll be straight there.

Of course. I'm bog salt. Here, Cracker.

Do you think you could see a way to maybe give the park a bit of a plug?

Sharing a little of my oxygen.

Yeah.

Of course I will. What's the name of this place?

Kissimmee Sunshine Park.

I'll endorse it on camera.

Great. Fantastic.

Excuse us, but my friend would like your autograph.

Can we come in?

Yeah, you can. You stay.

I was wondering if you could sign my notebook.

Sure.

My grandpa saw your last fight.

Sweet. He said Krakatoa played dirty, but you still beat him. Even after he

busted your shoulder.

Tell you what, it's going to be a problem tomorrow.

I hope I get this damn thing taped. My mum's a physio. I can ask her if you...

No, thanks.

Have I done something?

Not you.

Your parents.

Why, what have they done? To me personally, not a damn thing.

But them, they make sure they take care of themselves now, don't they?

So, what do you think of the park?

And don't be polite.

I love the setting.

It's what it's going to be. Right. Very tactful. But, yeah, you're right. We've

got a lot of hard work ahead of us.

Like us with our new neighbors.

Uh -uh.

Uh -uh. Uh -uh.

And Casper?

Gets off on his perfume fetish. I know where his mind goes. The music was too

loud. I didn't hear what he said.

I don't want you to punish him anymore. Have him back home.

Uh, no.

Proposition in your neighbor gets you a fortnight in the motel, flammer. He

knows that. Rules are rules.

But you're very kind.

How's Tina with her purity ring?

You're banned, Pastor.

Come on, son, free beer.

Excuse me, Pastor Wilson. I was wondering if I could talk to you about

something.

Sure.

It's about my boyfriend.

He goes to church and, well, he believes that true love wins.

You know, no sex before marriage and all that.

And I was just wondering, as someone who doesn't go to church, I'm sorry, what

the Bible says about that.

Well, one of the Ten Commandments does say thou shalt not commit adultery.

Yeah, but neither of us are married and we don't have anyone else, so it doesn't

really apply, does it?

Fair point.

Fair point.

And it's tricky because the Bible was written so long ago and

there's even a place in there where it says we're not supposed to eat shellfish

and everybody does, at least I do.

I can't say no to some shrimp.

But it does say, love thy neighbor as thyself.

And your boyfriend could be your neighbor.

So I guess it depends on how you love yourself.

God just wants us all to be happy.

Yeah, thank you.

That helps.

Purity, really?

Oh, don't ask, Mum.

Oh, that's lovely.

Oh, we've earned that. That was a good day's work.

Cheers. Cheers.

What happened with Troy Marshall today, then?

Well, he said that you two only look after yourselves.

What's gone on?

Oh, he might mean... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there was a bit of a

misunderstanding earlier, but that's all been cleared up now.

What misunderstanding?

Well, Troy hasn't been paying his rent.

Turns out he hasn't paid it since we've been here. Him and a few others.

So what would you do in that situation, Freddie?

I mean, we're only doing what's right for the pub. Will you tell me, should we

have done it some other way?

What? I mean, what we made Troy do, nothing.

When we asked him to leave,

He wouldn't go.

And we asked him to stay.

We said he was off.

Well, he's only going to fight because that's what he was. Because he wants to

fight. I mean, we're grateful, obviously.

Well, yeah, any publicity benefits the park.

Mind you, asking them to leave didn't feel right, did it? No, well, you

that the park is their home.

Freddie was a bit fierce, wasn't he? Yeah, it's good.

What's up with Tina?

Oh, come on.

She's dealing with no sex, please, I'm Conan.

Well, that's no bad thing. She won't be able to get pregnant, will she?

Testing,

testing. And now for round three.

Strike and take me part.

Great, Aidan.

Thank you.

And might I say, Miss Peverton, how fetching you look today.

Jen, Jen, the TV news people are here.

Yeah. Um, I should probably go and speak to... Shall I go and speak to them?

Make sure you mention the part three times.

At least three times, okay? Jen, I'm not sure I can do that. Matt, just be firm,

okay? Be firm.

Hi. Hi, I'm Mal Pemberton. Hiya. How you doing, guys?

Come on over. Excuse me. Good to see you.

Thinking about Humble RV.

Good to see you.

Hi, what's all about?

Alejandro.

It's unlocked.

Hey, Troy.

Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could sign one of these old magazines for me?

Yeah. Let me go inside. I might have something better.

Hey, Freddy.

There's a cooler over there with some drinks, man. Help yourself.

Okay.

Thanks.

Make yourself at home.

Success and failure.

Okay, cable TV wants 30 seconds, so let's throw them a few old moves, okay?

And listen, this is just walking and talking, so don't forget to, you know,

the old publicity cow.

For doing that, I'll give you 500 bucks.

Come on, I'm already endorsing this crap hole park.

Oh. I know you're retired because of that shoulder, but if in any way you

shoot on me, my boys will be primed to get in that ring and source your

out once and for all.

Okay?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Kissimmee Sunshine Park.

Welcome to the greatest grudge match of the century.

Now, it's going to be a timed match, 30 minutes. And in this corner, we have the

former...

Who said undefeated?

Well, you never beat him. Shut up, meanie.

And in this corner, the man to be reckoned with, the man they call the

volcano,

Krakatoa!

This feud is legendary, and you're going to see wrestling history made here

today.

It's going to be the human volcano, Krakatoa versus Dog Tag Bear.

Let's do this.

All right, boys, let's keep it clean.

Be lean fighting machines, go!

Jordan, you're nuts.

All right, you got this. Come on, Troy.

Aiden, you can break the hole.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Pull my boots out. I need a step ladder.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Just do what I ask, Aiden.

I was thinking we should have a little word, maybe about making this an annual

event, yeah? So why don't you come over for a drink to us tonight?

Do you want to do the interview now?

Cracker, let's go.

Don't forget to mention the park.

Mention the... You all right, Troy?

You could have been him. You had him. I know you did. Not this time, kid.

Well, let me get my mum to take a look at your shoulder.

I'm all right, Freddie. Thanks, man.

Krakatoa is coming here for dinner. You invited him back?

Quite. Thank you, Rhoda. He's such a knob jockey.

You know, you may mock, but I thought today was really successful.

You know, I'm thinking we could make this an annual event.

Dad, he hit Troy over the head with a chair. It's all an act, Freddie. You

it's not real.

You wait till you see this on TV. You cannot buy this sort of publicity. I'm

telling you, this could really put the park on the map.

That'll be him. Oh, no, I'll go, thank you very much. Otherwise, by the time

get back, you'll have asked him if he wants to stay for the week.

Oh, ha -ha! Ha -ha -ha -ha!

Troy.

I, uh... I'm sorry, but Freddie said you were physio, and... Yeah, I am. Yeah.

Please come in.

I'm sorry, this is wrong.

No, no, Troy.

Um... I'm really glad you came.

Honestly, I am. I mean that. Come on. Come through.

How did you get here?

Oh, Dorothy dropped me off. Okay.

All right, then we'll look. I'm going to look, but I'm not going to touch.

Okay.

Troy. Hey, Freddie. I took your advice.

I pretty much know what we've got to do. We've got to secure it forward, pull it

back, and then just tighten it up. Yeah.

Hey, Troy.

Oh.

Come see a grown man cry, huh?

Conan, do you find me attractive?

Oh, hey, yeah, sure.

Yeah?

How am I supposed to know?

Because, you see, if you're hungry or you're thirsty, then you do something

about it.

You get something to eat or you have a drink.

So if you're attracted to me... But that's not the same. Yeah, it's exactly

same. It's not.

Okay.

One of these statements is true. Either you want to pick me up in your arms and

give me a kiss or you want to shake my hand and pat me on the back.

Whichever one it is, please just do it now.

Conan, come on.

God just wants us to be happy.

But this...

Is temptation.

I've got a question.

Resisting temptation is a good thing, right?

Yeah, definitely.

Okay, so really resisting temptation. I mean, really being tested.

That's even better.

I guess so.

Good.

Okay, so... Really try and resist this.

Troy, I just want to say that we're really sorry for having asked you to

the park.

I had paid rent. What choice did you have?

No, no, no.

You've more than paid that back with all the publicity we had today.

Was Alejandro right, though?

Could you have beaten Krakatoa?

You could have. You could have. Why didn't you?

I mean, I did when I met her 15, 20 years ago, but... There's more important

things now.

Yeah?

That'll be Krakatoa. What? It's okay.

I'm out of here. Sit down, Troy.

It's Casper.

Casper! Now. Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. Please hit me.

What? Hit me. I deserve it. Strike me. I'm begging you. Please.

Is my wife here?

Yeah, she wrote us.

Casper!

I know.

I know. I shouldn't be here. Yeah, you're right. You, sir, are in motel

detention. I know.

I know. But I miss you too much.

So please, here.

Hit me, Mal.

Oh, let me apologize to Jen.

Jen, for that utter filth I whispered in your ear.

Do it, Mal.

Do it.

You want me to hit him?

Yes! No!

All right, thank you. Out. Home. Now. Excuse me, everybody, while I kill my

husband. Rhoda, please, don't be cross with him.

I'll do it very nicely.

Hey, what time is your thing on TV tonight?

Oh, telly! Oh, shit!

Ready?

The telly on! Come on.

Quick, quick, quick, quick.

...and took on Dogstack Bear to end a 15 -year -old... Ooh. ...and what they

described as a long -awaited grudge match.

This feud is legendary, and you're going to see wrestling history made here

today.

She's going to be some time talk.

Bear was forced to retire with a shoulder injury, but today he came out

fighting. It wasn't long, though, before Krakatoa, the human volcano, erupted

once again. Here we go.

Hey, come see Krakatoa and the Titans on tour in Jacksonville, Florida, and

Miami Beach.

Finally, last but not least. Here we go, here we go, here we go. The great host

of the day, the Kissimmee Sunset Resort.

No, no!

No, you orange numpty!

Sunshine Park!

Sunset Resort, he's done nothing for us. Nothing.

He hasn't even paid to stay in the park.

Then he goes and announces to everybody free hot dogs and beer, which we ended

up forking out for. Then he goes and injures Troy, you know, our friend Troy.

mean... It would have been worth it, well, it might have been worth it, if

got the bloody name right.

Oh, come on, Matt, let it go. No, I can't let it go, Troy, I can't. Come on.

I propose a toast.

Oh, I'm broken, I don't know.

Don't be broken. Pick up your beer.

To the 15 -foot red -tailed boa currently heading south on I -95 towards

What, in Trekkertoa's RV?

To the red -tailed boa.

locker up top.

What the