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Original subtitles

It's a beautiful morning.

I think I'll go outside for a while

to smile.

Just taking some clean, fresh air for a while.

Well,

it's fine if you've got the time.

Your chance to win.

We'll be right back.

They're getting better than this.

Morning, Mal.

How are you this morning, baby?

Oh, hi, Rhoda. You remember what I said, right?

She's getting it at the door.

I'm on my back.

How about you, baby?

Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll just, uh, do a few ledges.

Nice. What stroke?

Oh, women's arms so sexual.

Breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly.

And, of course, my favorite for men, crawl.

Stretch those arms and spread those legs.

We should do this together sometime.

How's the new early morning fitness regime?

I think I might be an evening swimmer.

It's their first day at high school.

I know. New school, new life, new country. They're nervous, so don't say a

Let's just keep it relaxed. Why, what do you think I'm going to do?

Go in this room, just like that. I said don't say a word.

That's a grim reaper.

I mean, even if I... All right, Freddie, you want some breakfast?

Not hungry.

Don't want any.

You've got to have something. I mean, breakfast is the most important... OK,

fine. Fine.

Fine.

Morning, everyone.

Morning. Morning.

Here you are, darling.

Wow, you look great.

Thanks, Dad.

I like the green roof over there.

OK, here we go.

A big adventure, yeah?

I mean, it's scary, but it's exciting, yeah?

Think, um...

Roller coaster, think Christopher Columbus.

Think Brave New York. Freddie? Freddie, where are you going?

Freddie!

How about that, eh?

Yep, that's me off to.

Have a nice day. Bye, Mum.

Bye, Tina. Good luck, good luck, good luck.

Didn't take her long, did it?

What? Have a nice day.

OK.

I'm Tina Pemberton. I'm your school buddy, Pippi, and your classroom's this

Here's your school map. Oh, I love your bracelet. Cool.

And if you're into Harry Potter, I run the Harry Potter Club. We meet every day

on Monday after school, like today. It's such fun.

You can explain all those English bits in it.

Everyone,

this is Tina.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.

And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all.

Rhoda's taking me to lunch with her girlfriend.

Well, that'll be nice.

No, not nice.

I'm sure it'll be fine. I just don't know what to expect.

Just be careful if she fancies a dip.

Here you go. Thank you.

Oh, let me know when the man from the county office calls.

Yeah, I will do. Enjoy your lunch. Thanks.

Hello, Mel Pemberton.

Good morning. This is the county officer.

I'm calling to inform you that we will re -inspect on the 28th. This call is

also to make you aware.

that failing the next inspection will invoke immediate closure of the park.

You have a nice day.

Okay. Thank you. Thanks.

Mr. Pemberton.

Mr. Pemberton, this is for you.

Thank you.

We've had a bit of a catastrophe.

Now what?

Mr. Pemberton, the shuffleboard court has lost its glide.

The what? The glide.

Its glide.

So I've no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, well, if the disc won't glide, then you just... you don't have a game.

All right, OK, right, I'll take a look at it as soon as I've cleared that

palisade. Actually, Aidan, how's Troy this morning?

Oh, I wouldn't know, Mr Pemberton.

Troy went to the hospital last night. No.

Why? Well, you hit him with a weed whacker. No, I didn't. Who told you

Somebody hit him.

Yeah, I hit him, but not with a weed whacker.

So, um...

So which hospital is he in?

Kiss me, I guess. I don't know.

I'll check.

I'll check.

Bollocks.

Hi, Paul. This is Mel Pemberton. We met at Rhoda's party. You know, the English

guy with the RV part.

Yeah, no, I'm great.

How are you?

I say 12 .30. Heck, I'll come back when you're ready. Roto, roto, roto. Oh, do

you need longer?

Uh, no, no. Um, this is it. I'm changed. I'm ready.

And you look terrific.

Let's go.

Let's jolly well go.

Ain't that what you say?

Alicia, this is Jen.

Hello. Jen, this is Alicia. Nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you, too. Hello.

Do come in. Thank you.

Jen, the girl. Girl.

This is Jen. Hi. How are you doing? Very well, thank you. Hi. Hi. Hello.

Hi. Hello.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Oh, look.

We're ZigZag, your continental.

Sorry?

You keep your knife and fork in the same hands. When we cut, we use our knife,

same as you. Yeah, but watch.

We put it down.

We move our fork to our right hand to eat.

And that's continental.

Zigzag. Continental?

No, zigzag. That's zigzag. Right. Oh.

My brother.

Oh, but we can make room. And he can come to the Harry Potter Club, too.

We've never had an English boy before. That'll be super exciting.

Yeah, but he's a bit grim reaper, you know. Oh.

Aidan, hi, yeah, um, I'm over at the shuffleboard court, but I'm not quite

what I'm looking at. Mr Pemberton?

Roy! Oh, yeah, yeah, which hospital is he in? Oh, no, he's back.

Mr Pemberton, he's here.

Oh, okay, uh, how is he? Pemberton!

Pemberton!

this over with.

Who you talking to, boy?

Hey, come here.

I'm sorry.

Who you talking to?

Aiden, Aiden, don't turn him on here.

Nobody. Who you talking to? Nobody.

Who you talking to? Nobody.

About to be nobody.

Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to grab some beers for your wake, then

it's all over.

It's the last day of your life, you son of a bitch.

Paul, hi, yeah, it's Mal again.

Listen. Are you okay?

Yeah. You're whispering. Yeah, I swallowed a fly, so, you know, about you

over later.

Yeah, be there in half hour. Oh, and I'm bringing this guy Tank, my fixer.

You'll get on like a house on fire, lots of spritz.

Tank?

You'll understand when you see him. He's big. He's huge.

Really? He's basically... Okay, great. Fantastic.

I look forward to it. I'll see you later. Thanks, Paul.

So,

Jen, tell us.

What's the thing you're going to miss most about England?

There's not much popping to the shops here, is there?

Popping? What's popping?

Pop means to nip.

You know, there and back in a tick.

There...

Quickly, there and back, quickly.

Ah, oh, okay, okay.

Okay, so moving things on, let's talk about Jen's makeover.

Settle down.

Here's how I see it. Are you free tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Um, yeah, sure. You have no idea how much we love a makeover.

Right, so starting first thing, we go to the beauty spa. And in this order, we

go nails, hands.

Hair, Botox, of course. Botox. No, no, no. Oh, no, Botox conditioner for your

hair, honey. Oh, you'll love it. Oh, your hair will shine.

Agreed. I can't wait. And then after Botox, we go chemical peel, intimate

and should we mention bleaching?

Oh, you mean my teeth.

Honey, your husband will love it.

Yes, love it.

Hi. How was it? Was it good?

Did you make new friends? What was it like?

What?

They all look like they're 14.

Is that being put down to a year? Yeah, it is.

And how was it for you?

Oh, fascinating.

Really? Then what happened?

Freddie?

I don't know.

You know, I mean, some of it's freaky.

I mean, they all stand up together and put their hands on their hearts and say

the national anthem.

I mean, all of them.

No -one's not doing it. Imagine that back home.

And then, in class.

You get a mark each time you put your hand up. You don't have to know the

or anything, just... One mark for Freddy.

And what about the other kids in your class? Did you make any friends?

No, not yet.

They're American, aren't they? You know, a bit weird.

OK, so by the weekend after next, the authorities say we have to replace all

power hookups, the sewage lines, and we need a new filtration pump for the pool.

Hang on, hang on.

Give that pool an overhaul, please.

You wouldn't drown a dead dog in it.

That gives you a real good price.

Really? Totally pucker.

Okay, great, yeah.

Next, yeah, street and pathway lighting. That's for fire regulations and not

essential now for entrance road resurfacing and pothole filling. I know

company for that as well. You're going to want to tear out that shuffleboard

court. Maybe put it in a store or an internet cafe.

Internet cafe, yeah.

You know what? We could find room for a store and stuff, maybe somewhere else. I

want to keep the shuffleboard court.

Yeah. I'm going to renovate it.

Make the right choices.

This could be a beautiful park, man.

Troy?

There's nothing you can possibly say that's going to change my mind.

Want to have a cold beer?

I'm going to get you more.

Yeah, but what I say might be of interest to you. You say Mr.

Pemberton. There's nothing you can say that's going to interest me.

Nothing.

Have a good day.

Just one little thing.

Troy, he's got plans. Plans for the park.

See you later. Thanks, Paul.

I'll let my workers hear first thing, Mal. Any problems, you just pick up that

old dog and bone, eh?

Great. Okay, well, thanks, Tank.

Mr. Pemberton.

No, just you hold on a minute, Troy.

Okay? Now, you let alligators into the park yesterday, and there were kids

playing there. And, you know, I lost my... Shut your mouth.

I ain't told me you're spending some money on this park.

I don't give a damn about your business.

But these people, I do.

So that works for me.

We got a truce?

I barely hit this thing. It's ice cold.

Tina, they're letting us practice cheerleading during gym class later. Do

want to join? You'd be perfect for second row.

I mean, otherwise you'll be doing soccer or handball, you know. Do we do soccer

here?

I mean, yeah, we have a girls' team, but cheerleaders get to go to all the

games. Okay.

Thanks.

Oh.

I love cheerleading. It's such fun.

The U .S. is where dreams become a reality.

And that is a fact.

This great country of ours brings together people from all over the world,

once here, they invent a multitude of great things.

Freddie, what are you going to bring us?

Um... From England. You've just come over here. What are you going to

us with?

What are your passions? Tell the class.

Grime.

We are taking new ideas, things we've never even heard of. And we, in

America...

Oh,

you've all been kidding me.

Aiden.

Wanted if you could help me. I was a Boy Scout, Mr. Pemberton. I help others at

all times.

Troy?

Troy! What?

Mr. Pemberton has asked me to convey to you that as a proven fire hazard, your

palisade must come down.

While he appreciates your truth, rebuilding it may jeopardize the re

-inspection. Please take it down and remove it from the park.

Thank you.

Cooking on a barbecue, nice and slow, regular turns, put some foil on top.

I'd base it like a demon.

It's a goodwill gesture.

Oh, wow. And the palisade sticks.

Hiya. I don't believe what Troy gave me.

Oh, right.

What's that?

Come and have a look.

Hello. I went and had that makeover.

Oh, yeah. Hey, how'd it go?

Wow.

Wow.

Look at you. I mean, you look great. You look fantastic.

Really? Do you think so?

Think so? I mean, I know so. I mean...

Look, you're figuring that dress, I mean... Yeah, I wasn't sure.

Your hair, your hair, your hair is fantastic.

You are fantastic.

Come here.

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no. What's happening?

What? No, Mum, seriously.

Just wait a second. You look like one of them... Like a... Like a what?

Say it, Freddie, what?

Like a cougar.

Oh, oh, do I?

Do I?

Well, that's very interesting.

Freddie, don't speak to your mother like that, all right? I mean, you know what?

You look sensational. You saw my reaction.

Bang. Fantastic.

Because, quite simply, you look terrific.

And he could have said MILF.

Anyway, hey, look what I've got you.

Get you for the cougar.

It's another sunny day in Florida with temperatures around 95 degrees at the

high, 84 for a low.

Humidity is around 87.

Mr.

Pemberton, I got good news and bad news. I found out the county officer is an

old buddy of Troy's. I think you could get him to put in a good word for the re

-inspection. No, no, Aiden, no. Thank you, but we're going to have to do

everything by the book on this one.

I don't think we can. Here's the bad news. They're digging up the pipes they

down yesterday.

I don't think we're going to be ready.

Aidan, Aidan, just don't move.

It's called checking everything before you fill in the trench.

Now, this has to be done by Monday.

Talk to Troy.

Aidan, no. We're doing this by the book.

Aye, aye, aye, aye. Could you please step back from the window?

Thank you.

Remain there.

Now, I'm here to follow procedure in an orderly and precise fashion.

Jen, everything okay? I'm still waiting to hand the license forms in, and of

course there's a queue.

Okay, calm down. Calm down?

I'm hosting today.

Mal, do you know how much work goes into these ladies' lunches?

OK. No, it is not OK. I was going to make bruschetta and canapes, but I can't

now because I'm stuck here and there's no time and I can't leave because I've

got a ticket. Jane, Jane. If I don't send these forms in, then we won't get

re -inspection done. Sir, I need you to leave. Hang on.

I'm through with you today. Are you kidding me? Excuse me.

Excuse me.

They just closed for lunch.

Listen, listen, listen, listen. Just leave the forms at the front desk, all

right, with my name on them, and I'll deal with it. I'm coming over now. You

home. I'll, um...

I'll organise some high -class catering and get it sent over, yes? So just get

yourself home and get ready.

All right, understood.

So just say yes and go.

OK.

OK.

That's very sweet.

I know.

Bye.

Once you tell me where the food is, then I can set it out while you get big.

You want to do this at my house? No, no, no, no, no.

Brutal. British hospitality.

Wine, bridge.

I'll get it.

Afternoon, ladies.

Having a session, eh?

Good, good.

I'm Tank from the British Bulldog.

Pub and grub.

Mr. Pemberton's got you all here some fish and chips and local newspaper.

You just eat it right out of the paper, grab it with your fingers, toss on your

favorite combo of condiments. Got your ketchup, salt, vinegar, and, of course,

pickled onion, pickled egg.

You all enjoy.

Thank you. Thanks, episode.

This is so fried you could write a country song about it.

I thought you were watching yesterday.

Do you like football?

Yeah, I mean, well, I play it.

No, you play soccer.

No, I play football.

Well, you play the sort of rugby with forward passing.

Rugby. Same shape ball.

You're just slightly smaller.

Easier to catch.

That was carb heaven.

Get the paper in the basket and you get another gin and tonic.

Well, British hospitality

on the dreamy side.

Hi, uh, Kissimmee Sunshine Park.

Here's the documents.

Hello again, Mr. Pemberton.

But, by the way, Troy Marshall sends his regards.

Hey, Troy Marshall? Yeah.

Wow.

How do you know Troy?

Well, he's a resident on the park, but more than that, he's a friend.

Is that right?

That's right.

Oh, how's he doing?

Nice man. Great guy.

Good guy.

He's a great guy. Nice man. I tell you what, next time you see him, be sure to

tell him howdy for me. I certainly will.

Thank you, sir.

Okay, great.

See you Monday.

Tina! Tina!

Just a minute, Mum!

Hey, Anne.

Paperwork's sorted.

Mum, guess what? Guess what?

I don't know. Give us a clue.

Blimey. How's the food? Never mind about that. Listen, I was just outside just

now saying goodbye to Rhoda and the girls.

Mum! Mum!

Yes, yes, I'm here. Mum! Oh, Dad, great. Yes, OK.

Just say yes and we'll sort out later, OK?

Say yes to what?

I met this boy and his dad's calling. That's what I was trying to tell you.

name's Conan.

Conan? Yeah. He's a school quarterback.

His dad's the mayor of Narcos.

He's trying to... Dad, just answer the phone. Just say yes, please. That would

be lovely. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What am I saying yes to?

Dad, just answer the phone.

It's going to hang up.

Hello? Is this Mal Pemberton? What's going on?

Yeah, this is Mal.

Oh, Mal.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Well, Mal, this is Herman Block calling. How are you doing today?

I'm good. I'm doing real good. I'm having a blessed day.

Hey, Mal, my son came home from high school today. He said, Dad, I met this

English girl.

She's new.

And her family just got here. And not only is she beautiful and a terrific

athlete, but she's also a good Christian girl.

If you don't, I'll hate you for the rest of my life.

Um, I don't know what to say, Herman.

Yeah,

no, no, we'd be delighted to take up your invitation.

Thank you, look forward to it.

Yeah, OK, thank you. Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Thank you, Dad.

Would someone mind explaining to the rest of us what's going on?

Over to you, I think.

Whatever it is, I'm not coming.

The

worst

comes to the worst when we pray for the poor.

They're in.

There they are.

Right.

You've

got

to admit, Dad, he's gorgeous.

Yeah. Would have been nice if you hadn't told him we were missionaries, but... I

didn't say that.

It wasn't that bad.

Look, we go to church every week, sometimes twice on Sundays. Brilliant.

And please don't say you own an RV park. What's wrong with owning an RV park?

Oh, newcomers always fill my heart with joy.

Welcome. Hi, nice to meet you. You must be Jennifer.

Hello, very nice to meet you. And Tina, I've heard such great things about you.

I'd like you to meet my wife, Larissa. You know him. I'm so delighted to meet

you. Nice to meet you. Hey,

Peter. I want you to meet Mal and his family. They have just arrived from

England. Oh, very nice to meet you all.

Peter's in ladies' underwear.

He manufactured it.

Wow. What line of work are you in, Mal?

I am in logistics.

Yeah, logistics. Wow.

That sounds important.

I'm in solid waste.

But you know what?

You and me ought to fix up the meat.

For sure. Absolutely. Yeah.

First things first.

Welcome to our sanctuary.

Thank you.

Now come right on in.

Very good.

But careful.

This is insane.

Clap your hands.

There's nothing more uplifting than singing in the presence of the Lord. I

agree. I mean, obviously, we're pretty new to these hymns, so... Well, in the

whole service, I imagine.

Yeah. Well, no, I mean, but that's a good thing, you know, learning new

It expands your horizons. I quite agree.

What were your favorite hymns in England?

Yeah, what's the one that speaks to you the most?

Hey,

everybody, I've got an idea.

Come on over close here. Now, Mel and his family learned five whole hymns

new this morning. Why don't we return the favor and learn one of theirs?

Yeah.

Come on. It's up to you, Mal.

It's up to you.

Right.

Okay. Well, you probably know this one, but it's all, all, all,

all things bright and beautiful.

All creatures great and small.

You know that one? That's familiar, but I don't know it. I don't believe I've

ever heard that one.

Okay.

All things bright and beautiful.

All creatures great and small.

All things wise and wonderful.

The Lord God made them all.

That's a great message.

There you go. That is fresh.

All right. I've got another one.

You can't. You've got to do more, too. No, no, no.

No. No. No.

Okay.

Nope.

Each lit.

Each little bird that sings, he gave them shiny colours

and made them lots of wings.

All things, join in, bright and beautiful.

All creatures, great and small. Oh!

All things wise and wonderful.

He opened up the doors. He opened up the

carpets and polished all the floors.

Hit me, old thing.

He opened up the fridge door.

He got...

It's funny. It's funny. Very, very funny. What rhymes with milk?

What's the mate of that hill?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you start. You weren't even there.

Someone filmed it.

It's trending on Twitter.

You're kidding.

I am.

Now, breakfast on the go. It's inspection day.

Come on, it'll be fine.

Come on.

Thanks for yesterday, Dad.

I mean it.

You're welcome.

Don't make a habit of it.

What the hell are they doing?

Still haven't filled in that trench.

I'll leave it to me.

Come on guys, we've got half an hour.

Troy?

Troy?

Oh, Troy, hi.

We're repairing everything properly here.

There is a slight chance that we might not be ready in time for the re

-inspection, which we have to pass.

So I was just wondering whether you might have a quiet word with your...

County officer, inspector friend, you know, when he gets here, because

if we fail, then the park will have to close.

Well, yeah, Mr. Pemberton, anything I can do for you, my friend, but one

condition.

Palsy stays.

Here we go.

Troy, here's your man.

Here it comes.

Apple body. Oh, two.

All right, y 'all tighten up.

Okay. I got this.

Huh?

Dude looks like a lady.

I do not appreciate reception committee.

Police is first, and let's commence the re -inspection.

Sorry, but we were expecting the same county officer that came last week.

regulations stipulate that we cannot inspect any park where residents are

to us, and fortunately, someone came in and made us aware that the assigned

inspector has a friend living here.

Anyway, I'm Ms. Bickler.

Sorry, can I just say that we've put everything we have...

Yeah. Into this park. We have.

And, you know, while it may not be perfect, these people here have worked

and day to get... Yes, Mal, thank you.

You don't want to hear our sob story.

I'm sure that you want to follow procedure in an orderly and precise

If you don't mind. Shall I show you around?

Someone has to.

Hookups first.

Standard safety equipment.

Yeah, it takes several adults, as well as small children. One second, please.

Um, that is, uh... Looks like there's a bit of a stickler. A what?

Does things by the book.

Dots the I's, crosses the T's.

You mean a pen in the eyes? Yeah, I mean a pen in the eyes.

Making sure that the, um, that's not very sturdy, do you think?

Check this all out, and you know what? Let me just make one note right here.

People like to decorate their... Who the hell told them I knew them?

Yeah, excuse my mouth, but who in the hell would do a dumbass thing like that?

Um, yes.

No,

absolutely. We'll trench.

Just trench?

Yes. If not...

No, not counting.

It's palisade. That's something that's going to have to be taken out.

Mr. Marshall's aware that that has to come down.

Would you like a glass of lemonade?

No, thank you.

Kissimmee Sunshine Park has failed on trench recompaction, pool

water quality, Mr. Marshall's palisade, and safety lights.

Sorry, sorry, hang on a minute. It says pass.

Yes.

You just put those things right.

Like good church -going folks.

He opened up the window. He opened up the door. He opened up the cupboard and

polished all the floors.

So

you did

good, huh? Yeah.

Palisade Stings.

I love to call my own. My life was incomplete.

It seems I couldn't help but think that love was not for me.

My life took on a different twist when I met me a man that I couldn't resist.

I didn't know what all I'd miss and I'm getting happy.

Oh, I'm getting happy.

Yeah, I'm getting happy on my lonely days ago.

I'm getting happy, no more love.

Getting happy.

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