All language subtitles for Instant Mom s03e24 Hourly Rage

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Original subtitles

Grandma Maggie, would you like to invest money in a small project?

Is that what we're calling you now?

You can call me String Bean Pete as long as you give me money.

We want a robot butler. Can it give foot massages?

While making you a milkshake.

Put me down for 20 and make my milkshake a white Russian.

I'm starving. What do we got?

That's what he was smacking the fridge.

Oh, come on, store -bought.

Sorry, Dad. She made you something.

It's the stuff in the gray container.

No.

The container's clear. What she made is gray.

This is going in the sink.

If Stephanie asked, I enjoyed every bite.

Not even machines can swallow her food.

Hey, the disposal's broken.

I better fix it. This is not how I plan to spend my afternoon. Let me see.

Plumber, plumber, plumber.

You don't need some overpriced plumber. Grab a hex wrench and try to free the

impellers. I can make up words too, Maggie.

I'll just check the fluxum rod and make sure it's not jammed in the stir hole.

Well, you can shut your stir hole, because I know what I'm talking about.

Really? The only thing I've ever seen you fix is a drink.

Excuse me?

I was a single mom. I know how to do a thing or 20 around the house. Around

house? Does that mean you know where it is?

I can fix that disposal, unlike a certain man in the room.

I'm going to call a plumber.

I don't sound like that.

Take my side or leave.

You know what?

I'm going to fix that.

Please. The day you fix that is the day I don't come over anymore.

Deal. If I fix it, you don't come over for a month.

You're on.

And if you don't fix it, I'm moving in.

Here are my car keys so I can go to the hardware store and prove to your mother

that I can fix something.

Uh, your car's at the mechanic, remember?

You needed the guy to refill your wiper fluid.

Here, take mine.

Hey, guys.

Hey, how was school?

Did you get assigned a group for your community service requirement?

Get this.

They didn't have enough parent volunteers, so they picked a few

their own groups, and I'm one of them.

Gabby, why didn't you tell me? I would have totally volunteered.

That's why I didn't tell you.

I mean, you have that hurricane relief fundraiser to plan. Besides, this is a

really big deal for me. I'm proud of you, Gabby. Your group is lucky to have

you. Yes, they are. I am competent, confident, and in control, which will

in handy because the kids that I got stuck with seem to be pretty useless.

A good leader does not badmouth her team. If you want, I can give you some

pointers, or I can step in and be your parent leader.

Got it.

Just the pointers.

How about you point me to the hardware store?

I don't know how to use the Mappy thing in your car.

gave us a list of suggested volunteer jobs. We could work at an animal

Only if I get to brush their tails and your hair.

And that's a big old no on animal shelter.

How about picking up trash?

Sometimes I go through your garbage.

Okay, so we heard from Stuart.

Let's hear from someone who didn't trade his way into my group.

Tyler, any thoughts?

We could do something with food. Okay, what are you thinking? I'm thinking that

this is dumb and I'm hungry. I'm out.

Nobody leaves until we pick a project.

Okay, we could do something to help the homeless.

Ooh, that sounds good.

What do they need help with?

Are you messing with me?

I wouldn't mess with you, babe.

I'm not your babe. I'm your leader.

Gabby, I'm sorry. We're obviously stressing you out. I'll leave.

If I knew this coming in, I'd have to do everything myself. I'll just research

the options and tell you what we're doing. Just show up and do it.

Charlie, you should hear your daughter in there.

Hang on.

I'm dealing with something in here.

Okay. I have the replacement disposal and I've laid out all the pieces I need.

But do you know how it all fits together?

Of course I do.

Where does this go? Don't tempt me.

Charlie, I think Gabby's way in over her head. Maybe I should step in. Should or

want to?

From what I saw, she needs me to.

You don't motivate people by giving them orders and bossing them around.

That's right.

You motivate people by pointing out their weaknesses.

Charlie, you done messed this all up.

Honey, you saw how excited Gabby was to be given this opportunity?

Yeah. Let the girl find her own way, and you go on back to your own little

fundraiser and figure out how to motivate yourself.

Mom, you can't come over here and be mean to both of us. You have to pick

I picked Charlie.

Okay, let's fire it up.

should be able to do this i'm a surgeon i get paid almost as much as a plumber

you are a surgeon dad you need to treat this kitchen like an

operating room strap on your gloves and heal this sink we'll help we'll be your

nurses that could work good nurses get paid too 20 an hour five an hour what

yourself some nurses.

I'm going to go put on my lucky scrub cap.

Aaron, you know what we've got to do. Create backstories for our nurse

characters. I'm going to almost think a mom wants something to prove.

Dad's paying us by the hour. We want that robot butler. We need to make sure

this takes a lot of hours.

Okay, James, you're on instructions.

Aaron, your tools.

You got it, Doc.

All right. James, what is the first...

Grind them up 9 ,000.

Trademark grind them up corporation.

Duluth, Minnesota, 1963.

Skip ahead to troubleshooting. It smells weird down here.

Loosen the trap bolt with...

Charlie,

how much longer is that disposal going to take?

Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right? I want it done by a

plumber.

Will you let my mom get all up in your head?

Oh, please. Your mom is not in my head at all.

time and it's not funny now.

Boys, where's that ratchet?

Oh, ratchet.

We totally thought you said weed whacker.

That's our bag.

Why would I use a weed whacker to fix a thing? We thought it was weird too, but

hey, you're the doctor.

The manual says I need a ratchet.

Got it. Let's go get you a hatchet.

A ratchet, not... You know what?

Let's all go get it, and we will learn something in the process.

Wait, wait, slow down.

My leg's so sleek.

I must have done something lugging in that weed whacker. Don't rush ahead. I

don't want to miss learning anything in the process.

Hey, do you have any boxes I can use? We're doing a food drive.

Oh, your group finally came to a decision? No, I'm making all the

myself. Gabby, you're supposed to be leading your group. That kind of

is not a motivator. Now, when I'm running my business, I like to remind

of an acronym I invented.

LEAD. L -E -A -D. That stands for listen, empathize, ask, don't yell.

Wouldn't that be LEADY?

The Y is silent.

You listen to what they say, empathize with their feelings, ask... Ask for

support, and whatever you do, don't yell.

Pass. P -A -S -S.

That stands for people are super stupid in my group.

The in my group is silent.

Gabby, maybe I should come to a meeting so I can show you what I mean. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no. Let me use the acronym thingy, and if that doesn't

I'll use the violence thingy.

Okay, now that we've spent the last ten minutes choosing our seats, we can

finally get started.

Actually, I'd like to sit in my car on my way home.

If he's leaving, I get his seat because it's closer to you.

Stuart, what did I say?

Ten feet at all times.

Let's just please call this to order.

Oh, good thinking.

Let's call an order Chinese.

I'm so glad you're our leader.

I've listened to what you said. I empathize with your hunger. And I'm

to be quiet so I don't have to yell.

Skylar, is there any chance you're doing something useful on that phone?

Are you sending my picture to people?

Got it. Thanks.

I need some water.

Oh, while you're in the kitchen, can you bring us back some Chinese menus, but

in English?

And the cup you drink out of?

Meeting going well?

Great. The dumb one wants Chinese food.

Oh, you didn't put out the snack?

Snack should definitely be in the acronym.

SLEED. No, no, no.

LEED.

You slip just like they are. Well, you don't have to worry anymore. I'm calling

the school. Get me a new group. No, it's a volunteer to head up your group

myself.

Stephanie, you said you'd stay out of this. Well, I have to do something.

obviously incapable of handling these kids. Oh, you think you can do better?

Uh, yeah, that's why I'm calling the school.

Stephanie, I'm telling you, it's not me. That group can't be led.

Anyone can be led if you have the right leader.

fundraiser you can't do this i can do both great do both you're so confident

take my group and have them work on your fundraiser kill two birds with one pack

of dummies you're off let me get my event binder and start leading my

team hey gabby so uh we all took a vote on what to do and

we voted to all go home

That thing is fixed when I see it.

And I'll take my shower caddy out of your bathroom then, too.

Gabby, come on.

We're off to the fundraiser. Those hurricane people are going to be totally

blown away.

I don't know why you're in such a rush.

I have to get there before the team.

Oh, please. The team probably won't even show up. Yes, they will. I sent them a

reminder email, a follow -up, one just to say, hey.

And you know what Ted wrote back?

Unsubscribe. That lets me know she got it.

Okay.

Dr.

Phillips saved another patient.

Looks like this garbage disposal transplant is complete. High five to my

You mean 75 to your nurses.

Each. Plus you need penalties because you never gave us a lunch break.

Put your high five in. That thing ain't fixed.

Let's test it.

Put your head down there.

You, I did everything right.

First, I'm going to gloat.

And now that that's done, I'm going to fix that

sink. Because if I'm going to live here, I want a working disposal.

Ah, this isn't over. Ah, yeah, it's over.

Just let me grab my tools from my car.

Don't you grab those tools. Oh, I'm grabbing my tools.

Don't you take those keys out.

about the disposal didn't work.

Well, I'm no expert, but it might have something to do with all the junk I

stuffed down there.

We keep that thing broken, we get paid from our hours, and we get our robot

butler. Genius!

What did you stuff down there? Some of your toys.

Pick your pardon?

It's just those little army men.

Not Troop 47!

No, Troop 38.

Oh, then they got all they deserved.

They stole the secrets to that evil wizard in my closet.

Traitors. What'd I tell you, Gabby?

With the right kind of leadership, one is able to step away, handle a crisis in

the kitchen, and come back to a room full of perfectly packed swag bags.

While you're patting yourself on the back, you might want to use that other

to check Tess's bag.

Uh, Tess, there are supposed to be umbrellas in these bags?

Yeah, I put those outside.

Why? I don't know if you're aware, but it's bad luck to have umbrellas indoors.

That's only if they're open.

I don't think that's right.

I'll go get the umbrellas. Oh, thank you.

He's not coming back, is he?

Nope. And he only finished one bag, which he took.

That's not a problem.

Skylar, can you take over for Vinny?

Never mind. Do it.

Put down those light sticks.

They're a gift.

So is my ability to dance.

How do you like me now, Gabby?

The same.

So, are you ready to admit that some people cannot be led?

Oh, these little setbacks are not a problem. All you need is clear, calm

communication.

Stuart, those light sticks go in a bag or up your nose.

Give me your phone so I can call the police and report Vinny for stealing his

car. And then I'm going to break it with my shoe.

Vinny stole his own car?

Does he know?

Oh, Tess.

Oh, sweet, simple Tess.

You're the worst of all because I think you're really trying.

Thank you. That wasn't a compliment.

Jeez, Deb.

Somebody's cracking.

I'm not cracking.

I'm simply being firm. Setting expectations.

Getting the job done. Call me Alicia Keys because this girl's on fire!

what you did wrong other than not feed this big old chunk of green stuff.

Troop 38?

What are those traders doing down there?

Yep.

That was it. Why would James and Aaron stick toys down a brand new disposal

I'm paying them by the hour to... Okay, I just said it.

Boys, the bet's off. Ah, fair enough.

Ready to get back to work on that sink? Just reminding you, we are in golden

time.

Yeah, about that.

That can wait, Charlie. I want to tell the boys about the cookie museum.

The cookie museum?

Yeah. I was going to take the boys there today, but I guess I can't until we

figure out what's wrong with the sink.

James, put the army men in the disposal so we can make more money.

I can't believe you boys did this. You're both grounded, and I'm not paying

Dude, did you really just fall for that? Do you really think there's such a

thing as a cookie museum?

You don't know. It might be real.

Puppy store was real.

Okay, I got rid of the dead weight, I signed their time sheet, and they all

in their cars.

Well, Tess got on a shuttle bus to the airport, but she'll figure it out.

What am I going to do?

My swag bags are ruined. My career is ruined. My hair is ruined.

Steph, calm down.

We can fix this. No, we can't. There's no coming back from this. This is a

disaster. You know what's really a disaster?

My makeup.

No.

Yes, but no.

I was talking. You're talking about an actual hurricane.

Well, tell all the guests these bags are just part of a theme.

They'll be all over it. They paid $300 a plate.

Rich people love to feel like they've gone through something.

You think it'll work? Oh, yeah.

I'll start putting these under the chairs and making the wait staff look

windblown. You go deal with the caterers and then throw some sticks and leaves

in your hair.

Wow.

You listened.

You empathized. You asked questions. You didn't yell. Gabby, you lead.

Did.

I did.

I am so proud of you.

Now let's go fake us a hurricane.

Oh, if you find any stray kittens, wet them down and stick them in a swag bag.

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