All language subtitles for Instant Mom s03e19 Yoot There It Is

You can't just take over the bathroom
for an hour and then sit in there doing

nothing. I wasn't doing nothing. I was
replacing something you use with

something you shouldn't.

What is it? You'll find out when you're
doing the thing that requires the stuff

that is now something else.

Could we have at least one morning
without you two going at each other's

Charlie, we need to deal with this.

We do?

Yes. Yes, we do.

And...

Oh, someone had a heart attack.

Uh, honey, that beeper didn't even beep.
Can't hear you. Gotta save a life. Bye.

Well, looks like you're gonna have to
deal with us all by yourself.

Nuh -uh.

Go to school. Fine, but if I have to
ride in the car with him, I'm gonna need

something to chew on that isn't his
head.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why are you all up in my fruity youth?
Because I ate mine. I want more. Gabby,

Gabby, Grandma Maggie made enough of
those fruity utes for each of you. If

already ate yours, then that's it.

It's an awful big to -do over Grandma
Maggie's healthy fruit snacks. I tossed

mine in the flower pot.

Why would you throw those away?

Uh, healthy fruit snacks? Pass.

Mail them to Michelle Obama.

What? They're the greatest snack in the
history of snacks.

Like that dream where I'm sitting on
Santa's lap, then the Easter Bunny sits

my lap, then we all double dutch with
licorice.

Okay, no more fruity utes before bed,
all right, big guy? If Grandma Maggie

gives you any more, then I called it,
because everyone loves them, and

I give them to loves me, and I love
that.

Mm, this is actually pretty good. It
starts out fruity, and then it turns

You ate my fruity ute?

You don't need to yell, Aaron. I'm
standing right here. And you let it

Punish him.

Didn't I tell you all to go to school?

Look, we'll get Grandma Maggie to make
some more this afternoon.

But what if she doesn't come over today?
What if she's out living her life?

I'm telling you, if we sell Fruity Utes,
we'll make a bunch of money.

I already ran the business plan by my R
&D guy.

Who's your R &D guy? Me.

Then I send it over to my accounting
guy, also me.

And me think, after taxes, you, me, and
I can clear five figures.

Are all those me's and I's getting their
own cut?

It's all in the paperwork.

You in?

We hate each other. Why would you want
to be in business together?

Because you already created the demand
at school that I can monetize. If I

already created the demand, then what do
I need you for?

What's your price point? What's the
price point? That's what you need me

Fine.

Together, we'll cover this town in
produce, then use all our profits to

in ultra suede.

Your half of the profits. My half won't
be dressing like some sad old man trying

to get his groove back.

about being wrapped in ultra -buttery
softness?

Your tacky butt aside, we've got a
problem. We're not allowed to sell stuff

my school.

Maybe we should just forget it. No, no,
no, no, no, no. Keep working together.

It's beautiful.

You can sell from the garage.

Together. How long were you
eavesdropping? Not eavesdropping. It got

I thought one of you might have
smothered the other one.

As soon as I saw you getting along, I
was physically unable to move.

You better sell stuff out of the garage.

Oh, you keep getting along, I'd let you
sell the garage.

James, don't sell the garage.

First things first, we've got to tell
Grandma Maggie about the business.

First things first, no we do not.

If she knows we're selling them, she'll
want to cut. She's a hostile takeover

waiting to happen.

At least that's what me from legal says.

Then how are we going to get more
product?

I'll just very sweetly ask her to make
us a couple hundred.

Mm -mm.

Maybe I should ask her. You start
breathing fast when you start thinking

money.

Fine by me. I'll go put a rest order on
the ultra suede. I can't wait to brush

myself one way and brush myself the
other.

Why do you need all of these? True to
you.

You're stocking a bomb shelter.

Hook me up because I will bring a
shipping container of Chilean rosé.

Tempting and inappropriate, as it is.

We just love Fruity Oob so much. Almost
as much as we love you.

That sounds like a eulogy.

Am I dying? You know something?

I feel free as worthy.

Hot,

hot, hot.

Careful, they're hot.

Now you all better make this batch last,
because I am done.

beloved grandmama.

That way you never have to make them for
us ever again.

Can't do it. This is a secret family
recipe handed down from one generation

the next.

Then why don't you hand it down to
Stephanie?

Because Stephanie is where recipes go to
die.

All right. Now back up off my secret or
you are going to end up with a nose full

of nutmeg. So you're saying there's
nutmeg in the recipe?

No.

I'm saying I keep it in my purse.

You know the court took away my pepper
spray.

Now call me in 30 minutes.

Why don't you two go do some teen stuff?

I can watch these.

No, Erin.

Now how are we going to get more... out
of her. I'm guessing there's only two

days worth of product here. I say we
sell what we have. In the meantime, I'll

get a sample to the crime lab and
they'll tell us what's in it. How do you

access to a crime lab?

How do you not?

I want two of those incredible Fruity
Hoots, but I only have enough for one.

Lola, I got you. I'll give you the
cheerleader discount.

Thanks, Gabby.

I'm having a party next Friday. You
should totally come. I totally will. And

bring snacks.

And that was too subtle. I mean these.

What are you doing?

No discounts.

Jane, it's cool.

Though not as cool as I've become.

What's the holdup? Some of us need a
ute.

Dude, chill.

You're eating one right now.

Find your own business.

Gretchen is in my garage. Give me a tray
of juice. That's giving the merchandise

out to people. Gretchen Lubitschek is
not people. She's the queen of the whole

school. She eats free. No one eats free.
Is there a problem?

The only reason I allowed this is
because you two were getting along. And

can't get along, I'm shutting it down.

No problem here.

There's nothing that a big old family
hug can't solve. Yeah, come here, James.

Let me squeeze you until all the love
comes out.

Listen, pal, I live here.

And... Aaron?

You said this was supposed to be a cute
little project. I had to park four

blocks away.

How did all this happen in less than one
day?

It's the power of teamwork.

Try the power of the Internet.

Yeah, we're trending.

Our garage is the place to be, and this
is the snack to eat. Well, tell them to

come back and trend tomorrow.

I wanted to edge the lawn.

Look at them, Charlie. They have a
project together. We want to support

You can wear your yard shorts another
day.

Actually, Dad, we could use your help.
What do you need?

For you to go inside and stay in there.

Why? Because you're old and uncool and
we want to keep trending.

Yeah, we don't need Gretchen seeing all
that.

Hey, Gretchen, I don't know him.

Don't worry, I'll take the old guy
inside. What do you want me to do after

Stay with him.

This Rudy thing is changing my life. All
the girls at school are calling me the

Udy Queen.

You know you've made it when they give
you a nickname.

I like to think I played some small part
in your low self -esteem.

At least I've got friends.

I got friends, too. Andy Jackson and
Benji Franklin.

Friends, money. The important thing is
you guys came together and... Hold up.

You got Franklins?

Imagine how much more he would have made
if Aaron had belly flopped on the table

and gobbled down the rest of our
product.

I told you to keep the line moving.

Aaron, what were you doing down there? I
saw a video out at the couch.

Then my arm got stuck.

Aaron, haven't you had enough? You ate
half our product.

Yeah, buddy, why don't you grab some
water and settle down?

Water? I don't need no stinking water in
my ute.

of Fruity Oats, what are we gonna do?

Why don't you just tell my mom you sold
out and you need her to make you some

more? Here's the thing. She doesn't know
we're selling them.

Oh, yes, she does.

There's nothing that you all do that I
don't know about.

Oh, and hi, hi, hi.

Who told you? The little one called me
begging for Fruity Oats in the middle of

my prayer circle.

Ooh, I had to pray real hard not to do
what was in my heart.

with something I keep in my trunk.

We'll cut you in for half, but you have
to start making more right now.

No, thanks.

It's half of that.

You got Franklin's.

Grab me a sack of nectarines and some
parsnips.

Hold up. I'm not cutting you in.

Can't we just call you on your birthday
or something?

If she doesn't make more, you get 100 %
of nothing.

I don't need her.

I've got nectarines, parsnips. and a
crime lab result, I can make my own you.

don't trust you to cook anything.

I'm gonna team up with Grandma Maggie.
Wait, guys, guys, you're supposed to be

working together.

Gabby and I are working together. I
don't know what that little fool's

All right, Grandma Maggie, let's go. I'm
ready to ride this Fruity Express to

Popular Town.

Fruity Express?

Really? Yeah, I heard it. But I'm cool,
so who cares? You're on your own.

Oh, yeah?

Here, War of the Youths.

You want them? You gotta help me make
them. I'm in, boss. Whatever it takes.

I guess it's on, Gabby. Your sad little
business is going down. Well, your

little business is going all the way
down to Loser Village.

Yeah, I heard that, too. Still cool.
Shut up.

So, how's our little partnership going?
I'm not gonna lie to you, Charlie.

It got weird.

Jane. I know Fruity is, and what we're
making smells like a wet sweater.

Give me a break. I'm working from a lab
result, not a recipe.

It says it's 2 % allspice.

What's allspice?

Obviously, it's all the spices.

Cinnamon, ginger.

Oh, and cayenne. This is probably what
makes it red.

Oh, Sam put a lot of that in there.

Oh, is this oregano? Yeah, give me some
of that.

Uh, bananas and cherries. We don't have
cherries. We have cherry tomatoes.

Yeah, same size, same color. I'll have a
little more cayenne to balance it out.

There we go.

This is weird.

It's bubbling and it's not even on the
stove.

That's probably just the soda.

Soda? We were supposed to use baking
soda.

Oh, was the baking part important?

just bake when we put it in the oven.

But the oven takes so long.

You're right. Let's put it in the
microwave.

Oh!

What is that smell?

That is the smell of success.

Then success smells like tomatoes and
feet.

Don't come in here trying to psych us
out. We know what we're doing. What

doing is clearing out.

because we have something edible to
make. You're not making it in here.

This is our kitchen.

It's my kitchen, too, and I want Grandma
Maggie to make fruity utes. You're not

making anything called fruity utes. I
trademarked the name. Had to protect my

brand. Your brand?

That was my great -great -grandmother's
secret recipe.

Then have your great -great -grandlawyer
call me.

Because right now, I am fruity utes. You
can't be fruity utes. You don't even

know how to make them. I know you have
to use all the spices.

What? All the spices.

Just let them keep doing what they're
doing.

I told you there was no tire fire in
this kitchen.

Whatever that smell is, it's making my
mascara run.

It's making my toes curl and not in the
fun way.

Come on, let's go use the kitchen in my
condo. Let's also use the washer and

dryer. I think the smell got in our
clothes.

Come on, Aaron. It's time to put up the
velvet rope.

Well, this went pretty much like I
expected.

Oh, so what, Charlie? They hit a little
bump.

I'm going to talk to them, work my
magic, and bring everyone back together

I do.

Well, do it fast.

Things get more tense around here.
Something's going to blow.

Oh!

I don't know what you're selling.

We're selling fruit to you. You can call
it whatever you want. It still smells

like garbage cake.

James, did you even taste what you made?

Aaron tasted it.

Where is he? Totally unrelated, Deanna.
Lie down.

All right, this is crazy. There is no
reason you can't work together. You guys

are selling the exact same thing.

See? These are delicious, and these
are... Just

work with your sister and share the
Fruity Oop name.

We don't need to. We've got a better
name.

Maggie Strips. Maggie Strips?

Sounds like you're in here waxing
people.

Then we'll call them Gabby's Goody
Rolls. No, no, we are not having boys

into this garage asking for Gabby's
Goody Rolls.

I should name it. I'm the one doing all
the work. I'm working. I made nine

social appearances yesterday. There is
no business without this face.

Can that face cook a fruity ute?

No? Well, don't nobody want your face.

What's the matter, ladies?

Trouble in paradise?

We don't have trouble. You have trouble.
You poisoned your partner.

He's not poisoned. He had to take a
leave of absence to spend more time with

family.

Nobody wins like this.

Exactly. Which is why I am going solo.

Maggie's trips have taken off.

Okay, now I hear the waxing thing.

lady trying to find customers over the
internet.

I got you.

Internet's right here.

You might want

to pick those up and your irreplaceable
face.

The only way to get rid of the smell in
the kitchen is to get a whole new

kitchen.

Please tell me you didn't break the kids
just to get a new kitchen.

If I tell you I did, do I get a new
kitchen?

Since our sales have dropped to nothing,
we're going to have to rebrand. We're

changing the name.

They're no longer Fruit Hutes. They're
Fruit Hutes Extreme.

Now I want one, even though I know what
they did to me.

Nope. Don't taste like a spicy don't.

Hi, hi, hi.

Grandma Maggie, you got any of the real
Prudius with you? We can eat them while

we snuggle and watch Steel Magnolias.

Which version?

The one you like.

Hey, I have six trays of Prudius in
here. What happened to them?

Thanks. I only found five.

I might have done some night eating.

Ha! The last of your fruity utes are
gone. I'm gonna crush you. How? You

have any more fruity utes.

Better. I have fruity utes extreme.

They taste extremely disgusting.

Doesn't matter. I have the name. And I
have the face of a shovel.

The only thing that matters is that I am
the one with the good stuff.

Well, I am the one with the place to
sell it, and I'm taking it away.

How's that now?

We padlocked the garage. Now you have no
place left to sell.

I'm selling in the front yard. I'm
selling in the back. I'm selling in the

driveway.

I'm begging in the driveway.

Any more bright ideas?

That was your idea.

You remember that?

Something's wrong. All the popular
seniors unfriended me. I think we've

hacked. Hmm.

That's a shame.

I don't get it. There are no customers
out there.

Is something up with Tor Neighborhood?
Are we under a dome?

Nobody bother me.

I want some private time with my youth.

You got all the youth?

What'd you do to Grandma Maggie?

I'm fine.

I let him have them since nobody's
buying them anymore.

Nobody's even buying the good ones?
What's that about?

Do you want to do the honors or should
I? Go ahead.

It was your idea.

Oh, gather around, children.

Mom, you count as children.

Hello, young people.

I'm Dr.

Charlie Phillips, and I have an M .D. in
cool.

You know, when I come home from the
hospital, I like to sit down with a

crossword puzzle and a wholesome snack.

Oh, honey, what's a ten -letter word for
nutritious and delicious?

Well, doggone it, it's right here in
front of me.

Fruity ute.

You didn't.

Oh, look, 50 ,000 hits already.

be cool again.

Well, we had a good run.

Maggie, do you make anything else?

I make a mean peanut cluster.

Oh, that works. Let's go.

Gabby, fire up the Instagram.

Okay. How good are they? Oh, they're
good.

Can I get a sample?

No.

Great. It's starting all over again.

You know what to do.

I'm Dr.

Charlie Phillips. How nifty is the
peanut cluster?

It's super nifty.