All language subtitles for Instant Mom s02e10 How You Bike Me Now

Well, say hello to the new and improved
storage -free room above the garage.

What do you think? I think a spider just
crawled up my leg.

I gotta say, honey, I'm impressed.

Considering your back hurt too much last
night to get up and get the remote.

But look at this.

This! This!

Erin, sweetie, get out of the garbage.
Just take a bath.

I've got to leave.

And nobody's getting dibs but Dad.

Or it could be Gabby's new bedroom.

You already have a bedroom, fool.

Not with the door to the outside, fool.
Never gonna happen, fool.

Well, I think this space would work
nicely as a mother -in -law suite with a

tub and a wine fridge.

Oh, we'll talk.

We'll talk on the phone.

Because you'll be at your house and I'll
be here in... Charlie's Man Cave!

Huh? You mean Charlie and James' Man
Cave.

I'll need this wall to display all my
trophies. What's wrong with that little

shoebox you've been using?

That box isn't going to hold the
humongous trophy I'm going to get when

basketball coach gives me MVP.

I'll need shelving.

No, it's my man cave.

And what's going on that wall will be my
collection of state quarters.

Then, my recliner with lumbar support,
my humidifier, and a huge bowl of sugar

-free hot candy.

So it's an old man cake?

I know how to convince Dad to let me
have the garage.

I'm just going to tell him that... Don't
even bother.

It's mine.

And I'm playing my ace.

Stephanie, baby, Mama's growing so old
so fast.

Suppose I fall down and break a hip.

She'll never buy it. You're in great
shape.

Oh, and that is why you are my favorite
grandchild.

Thank you, Grandma Maggie.

You bought that, she'll buy this.

Have you guys heard of this crazy new
thing called oral reports?

Yeah, everybody's had to do them. Not
me.

And now I've got to do one on Rosa the
part.

And like Rosa, I won't stand for it.
Who's with me?

Get your fists out of the air, Malcolm
Extra Small.

What's wrong?

I can't see my report in front of all
those people. I'm afraid.

That's new.

Calm down, Aaron.

I'm going to help you.

Because I'm going to teach you that it
is the bird who can speak in public that

gets the worm.

I'm in. Because I do like worms.

And that's why, Senor Ramirez, you
should

choose our company, Ready the Confetti,
to plan your daughter Natalia's

quinceañera. We promise to make it a
celebration she'll never vanish word for

forget.

What do you think?

I think it's muy bueno.

And by the way, the word for forget is
olvidadas.

Write it on your mano.

That way you'll never olvidadas.

I get it, senor show -off. You're good
at Spanish.

But you know what I'm good at? Party
planning. We've already got a bunch of

parties booked, but... This Ramirez job
is going to elevate Ready the Confetti

to the next level. I love the way you're
taking to this new career.

Because, you know, food blogging.

What are the air quotes for?

Stretching the knuckles.

Surgeon's got to have nimble fingers.

That's okay, Charlie. We all know trying
to make food blogging as a career is

cray -cray.

I wasn't doing it when we met. But I had
to say something on our first date and

I was stuck.

I almost said CIA.

Okay. But the party planning thing is
real, right? Because you're putting in a

lot of effort. Oh, Charlie, this is what
I was born to do.

Party girl turned party planner.

Now my life makes sense.

I'm proud of you. And you're going to
nail this quinceañera. Oh.

Now, if you'll get that, I will whip us
up some huevos rancheros, which is

Spanish for... I know what it is.

you doing here there was a small problem
at the office is the flasher back no

we got evicted the last four months
we've been kind of squatting why aren't

paying the rent we were doing so well
that's why you were able to hire me no i

hired you out of desperation i thought
that some fresh energy would save us so

much for that okay i don't understand
there's a fully booked calendar behind

your desk

dream board.

We have an opening next week. The Sweets
and Swine Cafe?

Does that even sound real?

Okay. Alright.

We need a strategy.

A game plan.

A prayer circle. Give me your hands,
girl.

Don't panic.

We still have Señor Ramirez.

Do we, dream board?

He's real. I swear.

I met him in group therapy.

Oye, Trish!

I have chilaquiles y chorizo on the
stove.

Who is up for a breakfast fiesta?

We just got evicted from our office,
Charlie.

Okay, then.

Fiesta por uno.

Oh, look at this.

I'm getting a suit of armor for my man
cave.

Charlie. Freddy the Confetti is in
trouble. Maybe we shouldn't be making

stupid purchases now that we've only got
one steady income.

You do realize your income was more of
an outgo.

You should be wearing that armor if
you're going to say stuff like that.

that mean I can get it?

Oh, come on, don't worry, honey. The
money's going to start rolling in. You

Trish are going to book this quinceanera
and you'll get over this little hump.

Like you said, you were born to do this.
Thank you.

People, you're building a man... Use it.

You're a tad surly.

Can someone take me to game town? I want
to drown my sorrows in skee -ball.

Why? What's wrong?

That's the trophy they gave you for MVP?

The coach decided to not do MVP.

We're all just pee.

Everyone got the same little trophy.
Even Lester.

Lester? The kid who shoves the ball down
his shorts and scoots across the floor?

Apparently. We're all valuable.

This is not fair.

Hard work should be rewarded. We both
have been busting our butts. And what do

we get? I lose my office, and you get
this cheap... Hey!

Oh!

You know what? Why don't you take this
perfectly valid trophy and show it to

your little brother?

Okay. But the bottom half just fell off.
I won't stand in here.

I saw the wonderful news, Yamara, and I
thought... But maybe my company, Ready

the Confetti, could help plan your
wedding.

Of course you remember me. I sat in
front of you in the third grade.

I washed my hair with, gee, your hair
smells terrific, and you always said it

smelled terrific.

Hello?

Trying to drum up some business for your
new business.

Yep, just making things happen.

Oh, could you get me the names of the
richest women at your fancy nail salon?

And their kids. And dogs.

Bougie people will throw a dog birthday
in a minute.

Now, you know I don't like getting
involved in family affairs.

Okay, I just don't want to help you.

So, where is my pocket grandchild?

Hey, little man, you ready to get your
public speaking on?

Yeah, I think so.

Can't nobody hear that?

Why are you yelling at me?

I'm not yelling.

I'm projecting.

Why are you projecting at me so loud?

Because you've got to learn to speak to
the back row.

No one speaks to the kids in the back
row or licks them in the eyes.

No.

Punch this.

If you're going to learn how to speak in
public, you need to redirect your

anxiety. So, punch and tell me about
Rosa Parks.

Okay. She wouldn't go to the back of the
bus.

wouldn't she go to the back of the bus?

I don't know. She sounds unreasonable.

What's up with little dude?

He's working through some things. I'm
working through some things.

Hi. Yes, I'm calling for Sheila Myers.

She was my counselor at Camp Ocana
Lefty.

Oh, no. That's too bad.

Is someone already catering her wake?

Hello?

You know what'll cheer you up? Put that
phone down and take a brother to game

town.

How about we do this instead?

A bike -a -thon?

First rider in each age group gets a
trophy.

I want you to feel like the winner you
are.

It would be cool to have a trophy like
that.

You know what else would be cool? I'm
not taking you to game town. Okay, well,

let's do this thing.

I was afraid Senor Ramirez would get
here before me.

That won't be a problem.

He's not coming.

What? Why?

Apparently, he hired someone else from
our therapy group.

We're going to have a lot to talk about
this week.

I'm only here to hand over the party
files and this dead ficus.

I'm done.

Trish, you cannot give up. Stay in
the...

We'll make things happen.

I'm sorry.

I've moved on.

Let me get you a coffee.

You like lattes, right?

Yeah, but you don't have to get it. She
wants to get paid, she does.

you're going to get some calls.

It's only trashy if it doesn't work.

Trying to make things happen.

Honey, as colorful as you are, do you
think you'll get noticed in the crowd?

Oh, I won't be in the crowd. I'll be in
the race.

You're racing, too?

I sure am.

Turns out the winners get interviewed on
the local news.

I'm going to talk up Ready the Confetti
until they yank the mic away.

Are you sure you want to be on TV
looking like that?

Or in public?

Yes. And you too.

This isn't about my trophy anymore, is
it? Your what now?

It's what I thought.

Just take the shirt.

I guess there's no arguing with crazy.

Yeah, I'm crazy.

Crazy totes cool.

Let me take a look.

Yep, that's broken.

There goes your free advertising for
Randy the Confetti.

You know, James, you've got your whole
life to win trophies.

What the?

Sorry. Just make a thing happen.

I can't stop watching this video of
Stephanie stealing James' bike.

Let me see it again. It's my new
favorite thing.

Gabby, stop watching that. I will.

I just got to tweet it out real quick.

Hashtag, James got pumped.

Stop looking at me like that.

I circled back to get him after I was
disqualified.

I can't believe you pumped James. I
didn't pump James. You totally pumped

I didn't pump James. Why'd you pump me,
Steph?

There were 6 ,000 people asking the same
question.

Wait. 7 ,000.

You've gone viral, man. You live in a
dream.

James, I am so sorry. You're not going
to fix this with a hug?

I'm going to fix it. How? Are you going
to break the internet?

I'm going to fix it.

How are you doing?

I'm not stopping until I hit the bottom.

Literally. Not figuratively, because
that's already happened.

It was awful what I did. I really wanted
you to feel like a winner, but I only

made things worse.

Can you ever forgive me?

I don't know.

Ask me when we get the game down.

I guess I walked right into that one.

Actually, you stole my bike and rode
into it.

Hey, how'd the oral report go?

Do you want to tell him or should I?

How about we do it like we did?

You went to his class?

Yes. And it's a good thing that I did,
because he was not hitting the points we

discussed. I was getting to them.

You were not projecting.

And so, I scooted closer.

You shoved me.

I didn't shove you.

It was a hip check.

Could you give me a C?

And I'm going to argue that up to at
least a B -.

If you can get it to a B +, I'll forget
this whole thing ever happened.

science project.

Oh, little man, I've dated my share of
scientists. I've got a few ideas.

No!

Ooh, now that's projecting!

Yeah!

Ready the confetti. How can we get your
party started?

You can start by telling me why we're
not at game town yet.

I'm so sorry, but I just have to meet
this really important client, and she

only meet now.

It'll be quick, I promise. Now, stop
calling me at work.

This isn't work.

This is a coffee shop.

And can I at least have a muffin to tide
me over?

All right, fine.

Just one.

Now, shh.

My client's here.

Hey!

Rhonda?

Rich now.

So, here we are.

Yeah. Fair enough.

So, tell me what you need. Well, my
usual party planner got jammed up. Some

-minute Saudi prince thing.

Anyway, it's my fifth wedding
anniversary.

The Muffins here stink. They only have
brands.

Then get a Danish boy.

So, do you have a theme?

Yes.

To riches.

Oh, and you can fit my husband in there
somewhere.

I think he likes blue.

I don't know. You can Google him.

Here is my deposit check.

Oh.

Wow. Thank you.

Hey!

Can't tell.

I think that child is trying to get your
attention.

James, I'm working.

Do you have a date in mind?

Yeah, the first of next month.

Hey, poor boy whose bike you stole wants
to go to game town.

Okay, if you're a little too distracted
here, how about we move this to your

office?

Stephanie!

Stephanie! There isn't any office, and
shut up and eat your muffin. Wait, you

don't even have a muffin.

You look like you've never eaten
anything.

I mean that in a good way. Yeah, okay.

I'm gonna need my check back.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Everything's fine. I'm just having... a
mini stroke.

Man, my business is so dead.

There, there.

Steph? Yeah?

Kate, how close is it? Six.

I know it's not the same as an MVP
trophy.

It's bigger.

shinier. I can even eat cereal out of
it.

Every breakfast can be a breakfast of
champions.

But this one wasn't a reward for all
your hard work.

Four straight hours of skee -ball is
work.

By the way, should I be concerned about
this?

I'm glad we finally got to go to Game
Town.

So are we cool now?

Us? We're all good.

But you?

You've been a little unhinged. Hey!

You're not wrong.

I thought I had my life figured out.

I'm not a party planner.

I don't even have any clients. I don't
even have an office. Where am I going to

put my dead ficus?

This conversation is getting above my
pay grade.

Do you want me to get dad in here?

No. It just feels like the harder I
struggle, the more I feel stuck.

Don't give up. You'll figure out your
life. To heck with my life.

I can't get out of your Chinese finger
trap.

Nothing like you've been talking about.

That's because my man cave is now a
woman cave.

I hope there's more, or this is a much
bigger conversation.

It's for you.

It's the new offices of... Ready the
Confetti!

This gives you a place to restart.

It was James' idea, and I didn't fight
it too hard.

You said you needed a place to put your
dead ficus.

Sweetie. But what about your man cave?

I'm stuck with a whole mess of fake wood
paneling, but it was worth it.

I was happy to give up my dibs, but good
luck telling Grandma Maggie. She

already forwarded her mail.

I can't believe you guys all gave this
up for me.

Well, I guess that sometimes you have to
something, something, something, and we

all learn a lesson.

The point is, we know your hard work
will pay off.

And until it does, we've got your back.

We're going to help you make things
happen.

Mm -hmm. Aw.

I can't believe you guys.

I'm going to go call Trish.

I know we all believe in Stephanie.

But on the off chance she fails, then...