All language subtitles for Instant Mom s01e14 A Kids Choice

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Original subtitles

Stephanie.

Steph,

you almost scared me to death.

James, why are you wearing that?

I'm trying to win tickets to a Cody Simpson concert.

Not following.

Watch this.

G'day, Philadelphia.

You've seen my music videos. Now I want to see yours.

Post your own version of one of my songs. I'll pick my favorite and send

tickets to my sold -out show.

My video's gonna kill the competition.

Get it?

Please let me help with your video, James.

I'm gonna play with the head chopper.

Go help Gabby. I wanna win.

Sorry, buddy. I already finished my video.

Why don't you help James find some pearls for that little black dress?

Hilarious.

I hope that's not the blue towel that was hanging on your hook.

Why?

No reason. Just the toilet overflows, and I use that to mop it up.

Oh.

James, that's disgusting.

It's okay, Stephanie.

He's just messing with me.

Yeah, I'm just messing with you.

Or am I?

Wait. You're not messing with me.

Oh, look.

Wow.

So that's the thing that happened.

Yeah, the thing that's going to win me the tickets to the Cody Simpson concert.

Ah, where did you get the cowboy chap?

old leather pants i don't have any old leather oh james no they were cheap in

the scalper tickets no they weren't you want to see the winning video check it

boy he came around the corner looked like a model magazine thin

he was shaped like a bottle long straight hair he was fly as a bird first

ever i would love the word felt all right it just couldn't be wrong love a

sight

Is this supposed to be some kind of anti -drug message?

Hey, hey, I didn't talk during yours. Mostly because I was too busy laughing,

but still.

What are we watching? A short documentary about why you'll never have

Gabby down the aisle.

Oh, right, because a dancing chicken is a babe magnet.

Better my chicken head than your chicken legs. My chicken legs are gonna kick

your chicken butt. Hey, hey, hey. Would you guys quit fighting? If someone says

chicken one more time, no one's getting dinner. What are we having?

Shut up.

Anyway, they're trying to win two tickets to the Cody Simpson concert.

Who's taking them? Not it.

Don't worry, Charlie. If one of them manages to win, I'll do it. It'll be

nice stepmom bonding moment.

Oh, good one, Stephanie.

I'm taking Molly.

promised Dana I would take her. The girl already bought shoes.

Ooh, what kind?

Shoes.

No adult, no concert.

Dad has spoken.

Excuse me? Dad has spoken?

Sweet. She's gonna do that thing where she undermines him. Love that.

Charlie, let's talk about this. I did my talking. They're too young to go to a

concert without a grown -up. They're not gonna win. I've seen their videos.

Guess we'll be talking about where to put the barn when Gabby gets her

So why not say yes and be the hero?

You never know who's going to win a contest. And besides, that's a

Look, I may still be new at this whole parenting thing, but I know my concerts.

And this one is perfectly appropriate for Gabby and James. It's not like when

you went to Woodstock.

How old do you think I am?

If we were going to hypothetically let them go, we should get a little

for ourselves.

Ooh, I like that hypothetical.

Hypothetically.

What if we tell them they can go, but only together, and only if they can show

us they can get along?

So we get a week of peace, and they get false hope.

Huh. There's something for everybody.

Now how do we get them to clean out the gutters?

I know.

We'll promise him a limo.

What are you waiting for?

James is in the shower. I took every robe, towel, and rug out of the

Why? Gabby!

That's why.

The sweet, sweet sound of buck naked payback.

One more reason never to take a bath.

Your father and I have decided that if you or James win the video contest, you

can go see Cody Simpson. Yes!

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

But whoever wins has to take the other one. But I might know people there.

You also know people who are staying home.

Fine, but he better not photobomb my selfies with his big apple head.

Which brings up the second catch.

From now until the concert, you have to prove you can get along.

Is that going to be a problem?

You know, they can't try me as an adult.

We'll be good.

What is this?

Cool, refreshing lemonade.

Consider it a peace offering.

We both want to see Cody Simpson.

So we need to get along.

Truth?

Truth.

Wait a minute.

How do I know you didn't put something in my drink?

Oh, no.

I know how your twisted little reptile brain works.

Oh, wow.

They just posted the winner of the Cody Simpson contest.

Those tickets are mine.

And since I have to take you, if anyone asks, you're my service animal.

Great. Then no one will be asking questions when I lead you into traffic.

And the tickets go to... Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down.

That's me!

My video won!

Your video?

You won when we helped, so I made my own.

Two tickets, baby.

You're taking me, right?

I know there's a lot of brouhaha around Aaron's second ticket to the

Cody Simpson concert.

There's no ha -ha brewing. He's taking me. I don't think so, fool.

Enough. Aaron can't decide.

And so... Together we have created a quiz to see which one of you knows your

brother best.

Thank you both for coming.

And now it's time for my favorite game show, Know Your Bro.

And the first category is art.

What is Aaron's favorite color?

Green. Red.

It's blue.

even know who Cody Simpson is. It doesn't matter. I want to take my

his first concert.

Actually, my favorite color is pink now. I just love that blouse.

Thank you, baby.

No points awarded, Charlie.

The next category, cuisine.

What is Aaron's favorite food?

Pizza, because that's what Ninja Turtles eat. What are you in the game?

I love me some Cody Simpson.

You play him when you get in the car, I play him when you get out the car.

Pizza. Ah.

What you mean, ah?

My favorite food is risotto.

You're eight. You don't even know what risotto is.

I know, but it's fun to say.

Risotto.

Moving on.

And the category is... Insects.

What is the name of the bug that Aaron's friend Ishtar put in... Aaron's

lunchbox yesterday at school.

Who is Tar?

I told you guys the story last night at dinner.

The bug's name was Giuseppe.

Ferdinand.

Risotto.

I can't believe you guys.

And the final category is American history.

Who is Aaron's favorite president? Obama. Washington.

Lincoln. Jefferson.

Garfield. And FYI, the bug's name was also Garfield.

Hey,

James,

breathe.

Do not sit in Gabby's chair. I put glue on it.

She's not gonna like that.

Welcome to the point.

I saved your butt. Why don't you take mine to the Cody Simpson concert?

Okay.

What? For real?

You'll take me?

Yeah, just don't tell anyone.

I want to break it to the others in my own way.

Aw, Erin, I can't stop watching your video. I am so proud of you.

Don't sit down.

We need a snack and we can't reach the good cookies.

Oh, that's why we put them on the high shelf. You eat them all.

That says we can have some what? Don't sit down.

I wasn't planning to.

Uh, honey, I can't find the ginger snaps. Are we out?

No, I hid them.

You eat them all.

Well, break them out, man. Quit hogging the snaps.

Hey, Gabby, it's ginger snap time.

Why don't you have a seat? I'll bring you some.

Hmm, the good cookies.

Gotta dunk those in milk.

I'll get milk for you. Make yourself comfortable, Gab.

Why are you being so nice to me?

Because I feel bad Aaron's taking me to the concert and not you. Wait.

Aaron said he was taking me to the concert. You told me I was your concert

buddy. Well, me too.

We fist bumped on it.

I can't believe you told us all we were going with you.

I also told you all to keep it a secret.

So much for trust.

Why'd you do this, Aaron?

I didn't want anybody to be unhappy.

No, everybody's unhappy.

Are you happy? Wait, I know how to settle this. Everybody who can drive

the concert, raise your hand.

Out, out.

Oh, yeah? If you've never pulled a muscle dancing, raise your hand.

Not so fast, thought I could twerk.

Out, out. Hey, I like Cody Simpson the most, so I'm going. Uh -uh, I'm going.

The only place you're going to is your room, young lady, because you are...

grounded why so i can go to the concert that's messed up dad yeah that's messed

up i'm going all y 'all are grounded oh you try to ground me i'll put you in the

ground just the fella i wanted to see you're aaron yeah i

recognize it from your video

I saw your message on my website, and I've got to say, I'm sorry the tickets

won are causing you a little problem.

A little problem? Can you hear that?

Maybe I could solve it for you.

I brought you a couple extra tickets.

Awesome! Let's go show everybody!

Who's here?

Gabby, tell your friend now is not a good time.

That's not my friend.

That's Cody Simpson!

No, no, no, I'm all good, thanks. I'm actually here to give you guys

I think now everyone can go to the show.

I cannot believe Cody Simpson is in our kitchen.

In my chair.

Gabby, can I have a second?

Children.

Let me rephrase that.

What are you doing? You're wasting precious Cody Simpson face time.

You know how we call the truth?

Well, I had my fingers crossed.

And I kind of superglued Cody Simpson to your chair.

What? Why?

Oh, just for funsies.

It was supposed to be you.

The one time an international pop star comes to our house, you have to glue him

to the chair.

If Dad and Stephanie find out, they'll never let us go to the concert.

Then we have to make sure they don't find out.

I have an idea. You create a diversion.

What broke?

Who am I grounding?

What are you doing?

He tried to get up, but I had to stick fast.

Look, is there something going on here that I should know about?

Yeah, you're super glued to that chair.

Oh.

Seriously?

I'm so sorry. I was pulling a prank on my sister and you sat in it.

You've got to help me. If my parents find out, we can't go to your show.

Mate, if you don't get me unstuck, I can't go to the show.

Look, I don't want to get you in trouble, but get me to my car in time

soundcheck, and nobody has to know it all.

Wow, you're a great sport.

I've got a sister.

And super glue.

Okay, can you scoot?

Great. We'll get you there a little bit at a time.

We're going to need more diversions.

On it.

We need a diversion, not a snack.

Thanks for letting me use your guitar.

I'll never watch it again.

Or my hands.

How? That was amazing.

But wouldn't you be more comfortable in that chair?

No, I spend way too much time feeling comfortable.

Chairs like this keep me grounded, you know?

Very sensible.

Hey, why don't all the adults go upstairs and see if they can find Cody

something even more uncomfortable?

Um, come on, guys. I'm sure Mr.

Cody has other places he needs to be.

I mean, I don't mind sticking around.

This is a little something I call Cody in the car.

This song is my traffic jam.

Honey, I don't think... Hush up, Charlie. He doesn't want to see my mood,

up and leave.

It goes like this.

Driving.

How are you

driving with no hands?

I'm using my knees, Charlie.

You've got to want it.

La -da -dee -da -da -da -doo. Hey, you cut me off, fine, after you.

I do that every day in the car after I drop off the kids at school.

Please tell me you'd wait until you get around the corner.

Just so you know, Cody, we're not genetically linked.

Mr. Simpson, we need to get you to that sound check.

There's something I need to tell you.

You're not going to like this, but... Go ahead.

Go ahead.

I don't feel like walking today.

Carry me to the car, please.

All right, guys. Have fun at the show.

Feel free to use my moves.

so down to earth up until the last part.

He's gotta be the coolest person in the history of ever.

Cooler.

Did he just steal our chair?

What god I think of you

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