All language subtitles for I Ship It s02e06 Its Like Magic

Previously on I Ship It, there's never
enough of the thing you're obsessed

which is why I turned to fan fiction.

Go on and date with me. We'll either hit
it off, yay, or we'll just lay to rest

this whole we -kiss -don't -know -what
thing and never speak about it again. I

actually have a date.

I don't think I can be friendly.

Not yet.

I took this job to save up for grad
school.

I quit.

It's so hard to date people who aren't,
like, right here.

I thought she liked me.

I don't know what I did wrong.

A rose.

Yeah.

Is it supposed to be funny?

No.

So this is a real date rose. Yeah, big
time.

I thought it was an ironic rose. You
know, like, big date, here's a rose.

No, an unironic rose is great. Thank
you.

We should go.

Yeah.

I was excited for Jasmine's first
episode on Superstition. Raise your

Jasmine's dead.

One, spoiler alert.

Two, that isn't canon until your death
episode airs, and that's not going to be

for, like, literally months.

Don't ruin the journey by fixating on
the destination.

Why do you have to watch Superstition in
my apartment?

Because it wouldn't be a party without
you.

Plus, you have a TV.

Grumpy because Alice's big date was
Luke.

I'm not grumpy.

I just want to focus on my grad school
app.

Don't worry.

Luke isn't anything like you. He's more
in your face.

Yes, sir, too.

Dickish. In a hot, reddish way. Please
go away.

Fine. I was going to suggest some
therapy bacon before superstition

Cinnamon raisin bread with rainbow
sprinkles, anyone?

No. Gross.

Is that a marshmallow?

Yeah. Yeah, it's Rocky Road.

You said you like chocolate.

I do.

I'm not a big marshmallow fan.

Really? Mm -hmm.

Everybody likes marshmallows. Or every
normal person.

No, it's the texture. They're like these
little sticky sugar sponges.

It's fine. I'll just eat around them.

This is a nice park.

I don't usually do parks, but this is a
nice one.

Yeah.

I've been here before.

With my roommate.

It's nice.

Thank you.

You're Jasmine, aren't you?

Do we have a class together?

I just transferred to Salem Falls CC.
It's been kind of a whirlwind of a week.

We've been looking for you.

Do you think I'm okay?

Uh, no. You're amazing.

My friends are famous. I can't wait to
find out how you die.

Want to dance?

Sure. Yeah?

Come on, then.

I'm pretty good at this, aren't I?

I don't know.

I might be better. Come on, be honest,
be honest.

This.

You dig, right?

You do.

Here we go.

Oh, oh no, sorry.

You're supposed to turn the other way.
Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm just in pain.

Let me get you some water.

I should be feeling more tingles down my
spine.

I know my eyes should sparkle when his
look in the mind.

This would be perfect if the timing was
right.

But I think that I left my heart
elsewhere.

I know he means well and he's doing his
best.

But there are no rose -colored beads in
my chest.

If only by name But somehow it's not
quite the same

And I thought this was a new start for
me And

everything's where it's supposed to be
But sometimes your heart

doesn't follow your feet Doesn't always
come back when you

call

Maybe if I keep on playing the part, the
ice cream and flowers,

the sunset and fire can eat my heart
some way to fight off my

brain.

Somehow it's not quite the same.

Somehow it's not quite.

Watching that is enough.

I should have done a smaller gasp. It's
so theatrical. Maybe if I had been

better, they would have never gotten rid
of me.

You must think I've gone totally
bananas.

Breakups are hard.

I'm not holding it against you. I'm not
upset because of Kayla.

She's a terrible person, and I'm totally
over it.

I'm upset because the show is
everything.

You're sad because of superstition.

You know what Elle and I do when that
happens?

We turn to fanfic. What do you mean?

Superstition is great, but it is deeply
flawed. So we turned to fan fiction to

fix the things we don't like about the
show, like Jasmine's storyline.

Nobody cares about Jasmine.

Sasha,

you sweet, naive sugar cookie.

Look, they already ate Jasmine's
stories. But Jasmine was just introduced

tonight. Oh, East Coast feed's been done
for hours.

You want to read them?

So we haven't talked about food position
in 20 minutes.

Oh, that must be a record.

It's funny when you work with someone
and you do something outside of work and

you realize, how much do I actually know
about this person?

Yeah. I hope you're getting to know you
as part of the fun.

What is your life story?

Oh, you're serious.

I was born to parents.

Incredible. Who left me home alone a
lot. So to entertain myself, I would

up alternate endings to my favorite TV
shows.

That sounds sad.

It's not.

It was fun.

What's your life story?

It's barely started.

Everything that I think is out of me.

Ah, you're ambitious.

So are you.

Come on.

You act like it's all for the love of
storytelling and superstition, but I see

you in the room when the writers are
pitching.

You want to speak up just as much as I
do.

Guilty. It's a good thing.

We're talking about superstition again.

Oh, we are.

First dates suck.

Thank you very much.

Oh, I just mean...

I wish we could skip the whole getting
to know you bit.

Get right to this.

No.

No.

I don't think I'm ready.

Right.

Of course, yeah. That's fine.

Maybe you should just take me home?

Yep.

What are you doing here?

Are you spying on me?

Yep.

Architecture's too boring. I'm joining
the CIA.

I'm not going to get jealous if you
start dating again.

If?

It's exhausting.

My life is a blur of women.

So you're going to keep seeing him?

Why wouldn't I? Well, I think you two
make a great couple. Even though I've

never met the guy.

Luke. You don't have to be nasty.

Who's being nasty? The way you say his
name. Luke.

Like you're spitting. I'm not spitting.
It's that kind of name.

Luke. Luke.

Luke. Luke. No, don't say it again.
Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke,

God, if I knew you cared this much, I
wouldn't have told you about the date.

I don't care.

I can't do this with you.

This was a mistake.

Cool.

Teresa's the heir.

Saxon is thinking of leaving Salem
Falls. What does Teresa say when he

the news?

Text me when you know where you end up.
Too harsh.

Don't go, but if you do, let me know
first.

That's not it. Take me with you.

I never wanted any of this. She would
never say that.

Therese cares about honor and duty and
magic. She would never choose Saxon or

Adam or anyone over Salem Falls. That is
completely not who she is. And if you

don't know that, I know.

Make a note for me to speak with Ella
this afternoon.

Let's skip ahead to Act 3. Have we
figured out Adam's arc? He feels like

episode.

This pic is great.

Therese gets burned at the stake, and
Jasmine assumes her rightful place as

heir to Salem.

It's crazy how much people hate Therese
and love Jasmine.

Do you want me to read it out loud?

I was wrong.

Fanfic isn't for people like you. What
do you mean?

You're not a fan.

You're not reading fic because you care
about these characters. You just want to

see how much people care about your
character.

I want people to like me.

They like Jasmine, not Sasha.

And there's nothing wrong with Sasha,
but the fans don't know her, so they

like her.

We like you, Sasha, no matter who you're
playing on TV.

Isn't that enough?

Hey, how are you? I am fine.

At least I thought I was doing all
right.

I know it's selfish, but I can't quite
decide if you and I

were ever enough.

Alone with my thoughts, I can't quite
give you up.

But I think that it's better for us.

Wish I could tell you what I mean.

But I'm afraid to speak.

And all the words I might say, they
slowly slip away.

Do I keep them here with me?

I know that I should just move on.

But traces of you linger after you're
gone.

And I'm so sick of singing sad love
songs.

If only you and I were enough.

Along with my thoughts, I can't quite
give you up.

But I think that it's better for us.

I wish I

could tell you what I mean But I can't
find

the big

Hey. I might get fired.

You've said that about a thousand times.

This time it's for real though.

I did something extra stupid with a side
of crazy.

So... I wanted to talk to a friend.

What are you doing? Grad school apps.

MIT and Cornell so far.

UCL is great too. It's in London.

You'd go that far?

I have to.

Well, good luck with your apps.

Good luck not getting fired.

So you're a fan, a super fan.

Yes, yeah.

Did we know that when we hired you?

Um, no, I don't think so.

I used to pay attention to what fans
like you wanted.

I checked the superstition hashtag.

I responded to fans on Twitter.

You remember that?

You responded to me once.

Years ago. I stopped because it was
hurting the show.

When you pay too much attention to what
the fans want, you start writing

indulgent plot lines instead of telling
good stories.

I think sometimes the fans can be right.

Not about everything.

But sometimes the things we create take
on a life of their own, and people fall

in love with parts we never expected
them to.

We can't help it. It's like magic.

So what would Therese say to Saxon?

She'd remember the day they first met.

It'd be bittersweet.

It would be hard for her to say goodbye
to Saxon, but she wouldn't ask him to

stay either.

She'd say something like, look how far
we've come.

You've reached Tim. Please leave a
message and I'll get back to you

I didn't get fired.

Yay.

And I was thinking about grad schools.

London's too far.

Oregon and USC have good programs too.

And they're closer to, um, things.

I got a call back.

Do I look like I could play a dental
student with multiple personalities?

Definitely.

Are you making something to celebrate?

Cinnamon raisin bread.

With?

Rainbow sprinkles.

For you.

Mm -hmm. You made me feel better when I
was super sad. So, even though cinnamon

raisin bread with rainbow sprinkles is a
gross combo, I wanted to say thank you.

Am I in the right place?

Everyone's on the north stage.

I'm glad you weren't fired.

What are you doing here?

Pick me.

Or don't.

I can't do this in -between thing.

Just amorphous and mushy.

Do you want me to stay?

Not for me. It's too much pressure.

I can't promise that I'll choose you
over superstition.

You deserve someone who would.

Someone better. I don't want someone
better.

I want you.

I love you.

But I can't just stick around waiting
for you.

Then you should go.

Quiet on set.

I want to watch this.

Time for me to go. Do you remember the
first day you arrived in Salem Falls?

I was supposed to kill you and get out
of town.

Look how far we've come.