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If you could see the life you will have before your birth...

...would you still want to come into world?

Who cares what others say, I would.

Because no one ever asked me that question since I was born...

Is this the life you want to live Cicek?

Eggs with Cemen.

Your favourite.

The life that I want to...

I mean with whom I want to spend my life with...

...I found it out the day I was turned 18.

My mom used to give me a gift for my every birthday...

...something that she had used in her youth.

I have turned 18 today...

...I thought this tradition would change.

Surprise!

Happy Birthday Cicek.

My dear Murat.

My lovely daughter, my dear Cicek.

Vaoww... Murat you look very showy.

It is for you dear Cicek. You are my rose.

Come, come...

Look how beautiful she is.

Did you like your birthday present?

I used to love wearing this hair clip.

It is hundred percent hand made. Here, here.

No one else has the exact same one.

Actually there was an another replica of this...

...but I couldn´t find it. I don´t know where I put it.

But it´ll come out from somewhere.

-Here take it. -Thank you.

Let me kiss you.

Well... you might as well get married.

What! No! What are you talking about?

My daughter is going to be a doctor.

Yeah yeah... I´m thinking of being an urologist.

Come on, let´s make a wish.

Cicek...

...just make yourself comfortable.

You will fall down one day.

Would it be bad? There would be an action in our lives.

We call it gravity.

For example if I crash to the asphalt.

Recep wouldn´t be able to open his shop as he does everyday.

School bus wouldn´t be able to pick up children on the same time.

Science teacher´s daughter wouldn´t be able to

hide her headscarf at the corner.

And of course...

Hatice Soylu daughter of Hasan Soylu has passed away today...

...her funeral will take place...

...at center mosque after noon prayer.

You are right...

...same things everyday.

Why the hell did you move from Ankara as you were a baby.

What are we going to do here? Are we going to die because of boredom?

Who says it?

Have a look at me, is my hair looking allright?

Kudret, the rapist cat in the market.

Go, go! Go and see how Kudret gropes you.

Nope. He is a total jerk... but he wouldn´t do such things.

You are such a humanist.

Good morning.

Hello.

Kudret.

Can I have a cigarette?

Which one do you smoke?

Look how easy I found it.

-Actually I heard you saying hello. -Why didn´t you look at me then?

I waited until you say my name.

-The thing is... -Yes?

We are going to Trafo...

...why don´t you come with us, we can drink together.

No, I can´t. It´s my birthday today.

My parents would take offense at me.

Wow... Birthday kid.

Let me see...

A gift from me. Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

You turned 18 now, right?

It means, you are allowed to get married now.

For God´s sake. Why is every one obsessed with me getting married?

My life hasn´t even started yet.

Or maybe it has already somewhere...

...but...

...I am missing it.

I mean...

...I feel like missing it sometimes.

Do you get me?

Yes. Indeed.

I understand you, because I do the same in my life too.

But I do it in a philosophic way, I wouldn´t do it like you.

You know what... What I do when I feel overwhelmed?

What?

You don´t know, do you?

Come closer.

Come closer, come closer.

Come on, come closer.

God, I won´t bite you girl.

When I feel like this...

...I go to Trafo.

I should go.

Maybe next time. Thanks for the gift.

You´re welcome. See you.

MET Private Education Course

I ran like a horse. Where the hell is the teacher?

I guess he is not coming. Let´s get lost.

-Let´s go then. -Let´s get lost.

-You know what... -I came for nothing.

What did you do with Kudret huh?

Did you get new experiences with him?

Alright everyone please sit down.

Come on! Who am I talking to?

Ezgi do not linger.

Come on please be quiet.

Ahmet please. Mert come on!

Should I make you sit down one by one? Sit down!

Okay, listen to me now.

What is going on Madam? Are you finally getting married?

Unlike you, having a husband is not all I think about dear Ceylan.

Alright Madam.

Alright everyone, Unfortunately Mr. Ilyas had an accident...

...his hip was broken...

...a new teacher will substitute him for a while.

He came from Istanbul...

...he is a very very successful teacher...

...I´m telling you, don´t compare him with Mr. Ilyas.

I am calling him in now. Be respectful, ok?

-Understood Ceylan? -Of course Madam.

-Thank you. -You´re welcome.

Please come in sir, please.

Make yourself comfortable, please.

Huh?

Oh sorry.

Sorry.

-Have a nice class. -Thank you.

-I´ll be in my room if you need anything. -Thank you.

Hava a nice class.

Hello everyone.

My name is Dogan Akin.

What is your name?

Yes you?

Cicek.

Your Surname?

Emm... Ince.

Okay now...

...where have you left off?

We were at First New Movement.

-What was that? -The Garips then.

The Garips...

...They devoted themselves to eliminate the forms of Turkish poetry.

But all of them at once.

Rhythm, rhyme.

They were three friends. Three poet friends.

They got together and...

...published a book in 1941.

It´s name is Garip. That’s where their names come from. The Garips.

Is there anyone who can remember these three poet friends?

Yes.

Orhan Veli, Melih Cevdet Anday, Oktay Rıfat.

Bravo. Thank you.

These three poets claim that...

...a poem about an ordinary life can be written.

And it could even be written as we talk right now.

With a simple, pure tongue.

Sir... I must disagree.

In order to feel something we should be a little bit poetical, right?

This good weather ruined me.

Did you feel it?

Yes. Lucky Orhan Veli.

Are you a poet sir?

Look, there is a saying...

...one must go to hell and come back to become a poet.

Have you gone?

I have.

I have but...

Whatever let´s open our books... the First New Movement.

What a strange guy. Weird, interesting.

Now I am going to read you how Orhan Veli explains it with his own words.

God please make something new happen.

Send me someone. Let there be a miracle.

Let my ordinary life change a little, just a little bit. Please.

Lots of sorrow but we also got plenty of raki.

“Find the person you love,then let him go, let him kill you” said a wise man once.

It was my birthday. A foggy winter´s day.

Rain everywhere.

I let my literature teacher kill me.

Guys we will continue the test after the break, okay?

Sir...

...you are new here so you don´t know it yet...

...but we are not exactly following the curriculum.

But I can help you if you want me to.

What is your name?

Ceylan.

Ceylan. Come here.

Alright.

Can you open your hand?

Write down all the curriculum here...

...put it on my desk till I leave in the evening. Ok? Thanks.

See you.

Ceylan.

You should have unbuttoned your shirt more.

That’s why it didn´t work.

You should show him your ass too He will certainly have a look at it.

You say so?

Actually you are right.

I will pass by your boyfriend Nezih. At least poor guy will see a woman.

You don´t say! You are such a slut.

-What are you going to do about it? -Please stop it.

You have boobs instead of a brain.

"You have boobs instead of a brain."

Yes my love, he is 40 and single.

They say he does not care about the curriculum...

...he makes his own schedule. Such a man.

What is going on?

The new teacher. We explored the guy.

God! How did you find out about all these information?

That´s my professionality. I beat this fella if you noticed.

Don´t be so sure about it dear.

Why, what else do you have?

Noo!

Dogan´s phone?

Yes. I went to principal´s office...

...and stalled him a little while then I had a look into his file.

So my love? You look a little pale.

God! You look a little bit off.

-So what? -What are we going to do with it?

You are kidding me right?

Of course we will make a phone prank.

That’s a great idea.

What if he falls in love with me.

Come on.

What´s it to you?

Just tell me, are you in or out?

I´m not sure, poor guy just came here.

So it´s even better, he is such an enigma.

Always seeking attraction.

Exactly.

He is here.

Can I have a glass of water?

Every cell of my body was begging me “Don´t do this Cicek”.

You can´t deal with this guy...

...you will get hurt. Stay away from him.

I´m in.

Falling in love is a little bit like committing a crime.

Even if they say there is hellfire in the end...

...we can not stop ourselves.

“I can´t take my eyes off you...”

Who knows...

...maybe that fire is the thing we love.

“...restless tongue, raw state...

...melting from a silver top.”

Come on, hurry up! He is coming, run run!

I am leaving bye.

Cicek.

Where are you going on an empty stomach?

To the class of course, where else can I go?

Wait a sec, wait a sec... Did you apply some eyeliner?

-What no! -Cicek!

Ours was a harmless trap.

We were just playing a game.

That’s why I didn´t notice it.

If there is a trap somewhere...

...Dogan was not the one who has fallen into it.

Slow down guys.

It was me.

Enjoy your new dress...

What are you doing over there at the computer?

What is going on mom? Knock the door for God´s sake.

I brought your dress for tomorrow.

I chose this one by myself and ironed it.

Come on dinner is ready.

No thanks, I won´t eat.

But it has been like this for weeks Cicek.

Come and eat something with us.

Is this a new thing of yours?

No I am just going to study.

Ülkü is something wrong?

No.

Ülkü...

Ülkü...

There is something up with Cicek.

Like what?

Don´t you see it, she has not been eating with us for weeks.

Soo?

What do you mean so?

I want her to hang out with me...

...maybe watch a movie together, but she won´t.

She puts on make up before going to course

She is changed a lot.

Come on Ülkü, she is still a young girl.

Maybe she likes a boy.

Oh yes alright then, what about it? I was just worrying about nothing thanks.

Or maybe I should feel good about it. Should I dance with joy now, huh?

Did I say something like that?

I was just trying to say...

There is nothing to be upset about.

How can you be so sure? How would you know it?

Things have always been like...

-...the way you wanted them to be-- -How I wanted them to be?

How we wanted them to be Murat.

I haven´t done anything by myself.

You have always been a part of it remember.

You always keep on reminding me that.

I mean we got...

...everything we wanted.

I mean... She just does things you want her to do.

Actually we all do.

What did you say?

Nothing.

Do you have complains?

Are you not satisfied with your life Murat?

Door is over there.

You can leave if you want.

If you think you are not happy just leave. Door is over there!

Guys...

...unfortunately your time is up.

Cicek...

...would you collect the tests?

Of course.

Come on give me. Hooop time is up.

Here you are sir.

Thank you.

You asked me something about a poem.

Yes sir, we asked you several times to read us a poem, but you didn’t.

Just look...

...there might be something you like in it.

Thank you.

“You are not like them.”

Sir, may I go to the restroom?

Thank you.

Why don´t you eat your fruit my dear Cicek.

They are delicious.

I don’t want any.

I am going to sleep.

Good night.

See...

...there is something up with her.

I told you.

She is in love.

How do you know?

Ülkü...

...because I didn´t forget...

...how it feels like to be in love.

Come on.

Ülkü...

Go away.

Let me go.

Good god.

She is not old enough to fall in love. She is still too young.

Just don´t.

Alright everyone...

...the pioneer man of socialist realist poetry in Turkey is...

...Nazim Hikmet.

I hope everyone here knows who Nazim is.

You probably have read at least one of his poems.

-He used to write songs-- -Sir...

...since you don´t read any...

...may I read one poem?

I mean as an example to the subject.

Alright.

Thinking of you is beautiful.

Thinking of you is hopeful.

It´s like listening to the most beautiful song...

...from the most beautiful voice on earth.

Thinking of you is beautiful.

Thinking of you is hopeful.

But hope is not enough for me anymore.

I don´t want to listen to songs anymore...

...I want to sing.

Wow... he has balls of steel.

Man! All she thinks about is balls, even Nazim`s.

Thank you Cicek, you may sit down.

Yes...

...Nazim spent most of his life in prison or in exile.

-So if we think of society and the truth... -Sit down.

-Don’t you dare say something. -...in this country...

-Okay take your hand away. -...there is a price.

-Sir may I say something? -He always wrote about love.

-About his lover, his country... -Shut up!

Soo what else is left that we didn´t try?

How are we going to catch his attention?

I am not on your team anymore, I give up.

On our team? Who texted him?

Okay we had fun but it´s enough, don’t push it more.

Oh so I sacrificed my confidential line for nothing.

Actually I would show you how it ends...

...but be thankful that he turned out to be impotent.

-Oh my! -Idiot...

...he is not interested in you, so it means he is impotent?

Indeed.

Did god give you bigger boobs instead of giving a brain?

What´s going on with you now?

Why are you both down in the mouth today?

Sevil?

What is wrong with you?

Nothing, I am fine.

We broke up with Nezih.

From now on I won´t even look at him.

He is a total douche bag.

Don´t worry, you will make up again.

In two days not more.

I won´t.

Damn!

Come on the song is very nice. I like it.

Turn it down idiots.

Sevil!

Sevil!

-Nezih? -Sevil!

-Sevil I know you are there! -Come on get up.

-Come on come here. -Sevil!

See, it has not been even two days. I told you.

Sevil look down!

Come on Sevil look at me!

Come on girl.

He will probably leave in a minute, lie down.

Sevil I will shout till morning. I promise you I will. Sevil!

-Aren´t you even a little curious? -No.

I am getting curious Sevil come on. Come on.

She is more excited than I am.

Sevil! Look down Sevil!

Call Sevil! Look down Sevil!

Stop, stop!

Sevil I love you so much! Sevil look down!

I won´t come! Go away!

Sevil I won´t leave until you come!

Come on don’t be so hard on him! Come here!

Okay don´t look, I will keep on shouting. Sevil!

Come on, come on.

-Come on. -Get off me!

Sevil!.. Sevil!

What?

“Sevil would you marry me?”

-You idiot! -Don´t play hard to get, go downstairs.

I fucking love you! Come here!

Go downstairs.

She is coming.

Yes!

God! Yes!

-Are we seriously getting married? -Yes we are.

Yes!

-I love you! -I love you too.

-Did you like the flames? -What did you just do?

-Do you want me to set everywhere on fire? -You are adorable!

-I adore you! -Damn it, you are so cute!

Heey crazy what´s up?

Cicek?

I want private lessons from you.

Excuse me?

All of the teachers in the course do that. So I am asking you.

You are my teacher, right?

I´ll pay you.

I thought you were thinking about studying medicine, right?

So shouldn´t maths and science be more important to you?

Why do you need literature lessons?

-Sevil is getting married. -Who?

Ohh, your friend. Got it.

Isn´t she too young?

Do you think age matters in love?

What do you want to do?

Something about love.

Sevil is my closest friend...

...I want to write something for them and then read it in their wedding.

But I don’t know how to write it.

Teach me.

Cicek...

...go home.

Good night.

What have you done?

I´ve butchered my parents.

It´s just tomato juice you idiot, come in.

I was worried you idiot.

What´s going on in the middle of the night?

-Are you seriously getting married? -Yes.

When?

-Next month. -Next month?

Yes next month.

His parents are coming over this weekend

to ask my parents if they are okay with it.

My God.

Why are rushing into it?

Huh? What´s going on?

You dog.

Come on now.

I haven´t slept with him. I would have told you if I had.

I am not so sure about that.

We marry out of love.

So be it.

-Cicek... -Yes?

I hope you will fall in love like I have.

I tell you, it feels really great.

A person does not belong to the place where they sleep...

...a person belongs to the person with whom they want to sleep with.

Are you sleeping?

Murat?

Murat?

Hii?

You are right.

She is in love.

May I sit here?

Sure.

You are right.

Pardon me.

What you wrote. It´s true.

Did you like it?

It´s nice but something is missing.

Okay.

Teach me then.

It´s all I want.

You were going to write it for your marrying friend, right?

Yes.

About love.

Have you ever loved someone so bad?

I mean, love him so bad that you want to marry him.

Have you ever slept in someone´s arms?

You haven´t even kissed someone, have you?

Cicek...

...it´s very hard to explain these things before experiencing them.

It´s very hard.

Why?

Because I´m too young, right?

Because you are too young.

Hope no customers will show up.

There is no one else to show me how to roll a cigarette.

No one else knows it better than you.

You are right.

Alright then...

...if you say so, I will show you.

Here is my tobacco.

Tobacco bag, leather.

Here is our rolling paper. This is very important.

I am using arabic gum rolling paper, it´s more natural.

It means, it doesn´t contain any chemical additives.

Then we go back to our tobacco.

I am smoking tobacco from Adiyaman. It´s strong.

I smoke it because I am a though guy.

Anyway, you put the filter on your lips...

...or you put it over here. Anyways.

-Kudret... -One second love.

First you place it here and then stretch it like this...

...in order to stable it.

-You wouldn´t want to squeeze it too hard... -Kudret...

-...and tobacco must-- -...look at me.

What kind of an idiot closes a shop this early?

Kudret!

Emm...

-...I have to go. -Don´t rush.

-I´m late. -Okay, wait a sec--

My knees literally knocked together. Twinkie.

Such a twinkie I swear.

Just for five minutes.

Wow.

Did you like it?

I mean...

...it´s intimate.

Because of you.

I haven´t done anything, have I?

Remember you told me...

...that I can´t write those things...

...without kissing or loving someone.

Yes.

I did.

I kissed someone.

Okay.

Okay?

You wanted to have private lessons, Okay...

...you got it.

Are you joking?

I only want one thing, alright?

You won´t do anything before I say.

Hii?

I wont.

Promise.

Thank you.

Are you ready?

Now...

...I will tell you a word, okay?

You will tell me three words which you relate to that word.

But without thinking about it, immediately. Deal?

Deal.

Alright.

Impossible.

To give up.

Nice, write it down.

What else?

Physical contact.

Okay, nice. Write it down.

Yes...

...come on don´t think about it.

Teacher.

Okay, write me a story about these three words. Okay?

You have half an hour. Go.

Our unique, magical...

...and impossible story has begun like this.

There was an age difference of 20 years.

My parents would kill me.

Townsfolk would execute Dogan.

But I didn´t care...

...for non of them.

How many people are invited to the wedding?

200.

You will read this in front of 200 people. Huh?

Nope, not good start over.

No way!

Will I ever see you reading a poem?

Just read once, I want to hear one so bad, please.

Finish your story.

Okay.

May I also teach you something?

-Oh my! -Please.

-Were you going to teach me this? -Why? Didn´t I need experiences in life?

What now?

-We wait. -For what?

Could you please be quiet?

What are you doing?

This kid has a bad influence on Cicek.

He is going to ruin everything.

Who is the kid?

That´s what I´m trying to find out.

It has to be stopped. I am losing my daughter.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I can´t stand here doing nothing about it like you. Like a coward.

Is it not good again?

On the contrary...

...it is very good.

You´re kidding!

Soo, is it over?

...our lessons?

Actually there is only one thing left...

...forget everything you learned, okay?

I mean...

...do whatever your heart tells you to. Alright?

Are you sure?

Okay.

There is no text message in her phone.

And also there is no unknown number.

She covers her tracks just like her mother would do.

Your are exaggerating it now Ülkü.

-I won´t let a stranger change our fate. -Hi Murat!

-How are you Efraim? -Where have you been man?

I´ve been around here.

Our football matches have been dull since you left man.

We lost to every team we played.

-I´m over there. -Come on, lets drink some tea.

Obviously you don´t train well.

-You never join us man. -I will.

Ülkü?

How are you?

Fine. We are on the way back home from shopping.

So. I heard Sevil is getting married.

Yes I hope for the best for them.

And I also hope for the best for Cicek.

Isn´t it too soon Cicek?

She is just 18 years old. What is the rush?

She is obviously not a child. I was 16 when I got married.

So you wanted her to be like you then?

I think you should give it another thought.

I think you should look after Cicek more.

What do you mean?

I wasn´t going to tell you but I saw

Cicek and Kudret in the shop the other day.

Who is Kudret?

Hooligan child of Ali.

He drinks all day long in the shop.

I was there for shopping...

...then I saw Cicek and Kudret...

...and the shutters were closed.

So?

They were being very intimate with each other.

They were kissing.

On the lips.

What´s going on?

Why don´t you come here Cicek. Come here and sit down.

Alright.

Is something wrong dear Murat?

Cicek you turned 18...

...you are an adult now.

Of course you will wander, have fun...

-...you will have boyfriends-- -You won´t see that guy anymore!

Which guy?

See...

...how she pretends not to know him.

What the hell were you doing with him?

Mom we did not do anything wrong.

I´m not sure about that. Serife had seen you.

I bet whole townsfolk know about you now.

Ok, look at me Cicek. Listen to me.

Your mom got a little bit excited.

Are you in love?

I swear I was going to tell you...

...but I couldn´t... I mean--

You won´t see him again. It´s over.

-For God´s sake mom. -I said it´s over! It´s over.

From now on you will go to course and come back straight home!

I will follow you if necessary.

-Murat... -Okay Cicek, your mom got a little mad.

-Please. -I understand why you got mad.

I honestly don´t understand how I fell in love with a guy like this...

...but this is the first time I fell in love with someone. Haven´t you ever?

Don´t be ridiculous.

It´s certainly over now, you understand? It´s over.

What do you say dad?

You got what you want now?

Your plan...

Oh sorry our plan.

Cicek?

Cicek, what´s going on?

What is this place?

Sevil´s family is farmer.

They stay here in summer.

It´s close to the farm and it´s chilly.

No one comes here in winter.

I got one extra key and I used to come here from time to time.

There is just a few furniture here but...

A few is good.

You don´t need to learn anything else from me.

So is that it?

Yes.

You are coming to the wedding though, right?

You will listen to my story with every one else, right?

You won´t?

Mr. Ilyas is coming back this week.

So are you leaving?

Okay.

Thank you very much.

I mean...

...for everything.

Cicek... Cicek...

-...I have to tell you something. -Me too.

-I have never-- -Cicek please--

-Don´t go... Please. -Don´t--

It´s too late...

...it´s too late for you to say something.

Is it really happening?

I think it’s a dream.

You were about to say something.

Don´t ask.

You don´t want to hear it anymore.

I won´t Dogan.

I won´t say a word.

As long as you don´t leave me.

Dogan?

Dogan?

Dogan?!

Where have you been?

I am right here. Where else can I be?

-Next lecture is literature, right? -What is going on with you?

Nothing is going on Sevil.

You are being really weird.

Guys, I can´t deal with you today, open your books and study by yourselves.

But our subject is literature.

-There is no literature today. -Why, where is Mr. Dogan?

Mr. Dogan resigned today. He went back to Istanbul.

Cicek?

You were a step taken outside of the world.

Our lives...

...were unanswered questions.

That is it.

Milky way was taking off your hands.

I was in those...

...sand grains.

I am about to start to a new journey...

...it´s snowing...

...one love is caught in a snowstorm, at the very beginning.

You are just a child and I was...

...in love with the snowstorm in your voice.

You are just a child...

...who loses her balance after evey break up...

...what else can be a bigger threat than a child who doesn´t speak.

No one knows the answer to my question.

I´m a bad story teller though.

And when an accident happens...

...they call it love.

Cicek.

I didn´t say anything to you today.

You skipped the course, it´s alright, but it´s too late now.

Breakfast is ready.

Come on now!

Cicek?

Where have you been? Where did you stay last night?

Leave me alone.

I know you were not with Kudret.

Kudret?

I know your character, You wouldn´t like a guy like Kudret.

Kudret is not the one you fell in love with.

Was Kudret the one you were talking about all the time?

-With whom did you spend the night then? -With no one.

You will tell me!

I don´t know you anymore. How could you run away?

-Look at me! -Enough!

I told you to leave me alone. Don´t you hear me?

Haven´t I done everything, what you´ve told me to?

Everyday I wore your old clothes!

I ate what you wanted me to, I drank what you wanted me to.

What else do you want from me?!

I made all my life decisions according to you even my field of study.

Don´t raise your voice! That´s nonsense.

You used to walk around wearing stethoscope as you were a child.

Studying medicine was your choice.

-Is that so? -Of course!

-I used to play with stethoscope, huh? -What are you doing? Put them away!

-...I made you buy me an apron, where is it? -What are you doing? Give me them!

Why isn´t there any photos of them?

Give me them, why would I lie to you? Give me them!

Why don´t I see them then?

I see different things here, look.

A photo of me and dad.

Me and dad...

...me alone... me and Kadife.

Why don´t I have any photos with you mom? Why?

Why am I getting raised in other´s arms?

Why won´t you ever...

...caress my head for once?

You are being ridiculous now.

You got what you want anyways...

...don´t worry.

It doesn´t matter anymore who he is.

I couldn´t do it but...

...he left me.

It hurts mom...

...my heart crumbles.

I already gave up. I don´t want to fall in love anymore.

Do something. Make the pain go away.

Huh mom?

Hug me.

Say it´s going to be alright.

Huh?

Mommy...

Ülkü...

...I´m home.

Cicek!

What´s wrong honey?

What did I do to her dad?

Why doesn’t mom love me?

Cicek...

...why wouldn´t she love you?

She loves you.

What made you think like that?

She doesn´t.

She loves you in her own way.

That´s all she can do.

Sometimes...

...she looks at me like...

...like I´ve done something wrong.

I´ve met people who live their lives according to a lie.

I´ve seen people who wake up to the same day.

I promised myself not to be one of them.

But now...

...all I have is ashes of an ended love.

I get it now...

...growing up also meant going to waste

What is this mom?

It´s the wedding day.

Sevil is your best friend.

I´ll explain it to her. She would understand me.

I won´t criticize you if you come.

Wear anything you want.

Put on make up as you wish. Do it all by yourself.

I won´t even ask you...

...whom you love...

I promise I won´t ask you anything.

I just want you to... When I see you like this--

Don´t worry mom. I grew up.

We don´t need words to communicate.

You should have worn a scarf. You will get cold.

-You should have worn your red scarf. -I couldn´t wear it.

-Why? -He has it now. The man I love.

-Why wouldn´t you tell me-- -You promised me.

Alright I´m keeping my mouth shut.

Murat.

Murat dance with me.

-No not now Ceylan. -Come on, please.

Everybody is dancing anyways. Youngsters are dancing.

-Are you going to break my heart? -You see?

Come on, come on.

Are you alright?

It´s time for my gift.

Hello everyone. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

You look great, I appreciate you.

Hello, I am Cicek.

Sevil is my best friend.

She also happens to be the craziest one in town.

Good luck with her dear Nezih.

I... I prepared a short poem for her...

...I mean for both of them.

I would like to read it if you don´t mind.

It´s my first time on stage. Pardon me.

Come on.

Come on!

Alright. Alright. I´m sorry. I´m so sorry.

I won´t read it then.

I better sing to you.

Alright?

I desisted...

...from your eyes.

I desisted...

...from your words.

Say one “ah” enough,

Silently...

...being lonely...

...I sent my lips.

Don´t kiss take enough.

My skin doesn´t know your hands.

My heart doesn´t know your heart.

Ah this smell, this skin, this touch.

Ah this madness, surround, surround my body.

This is the time for disappearing...

Dogan?

What are you doing here?

Does she know?

Did you tell her?

Were you able to tell her?

So they put someone else´s brain in uncle Hasan´s head?

-Exactly, a strange guy´s brain. -Sorry, whose brain?

I don´t know him, he is a stranger. They took his brain...

-...put it in uncle Hasan´s. -Is uncle Hasan alright?

-Uncle Hasan is still the same. -For example, no fucking way...

Everybody is obsessed about it. Uncle Hasan is still the same.

Fuck off! Take Riza for instance.

Take his brain and put it in Kudret´s head.

Would Kudret still be the same?

-Yes of course. -Fuck off.

-Uncle Hasan is still the same. -Alright then, say Riza.

-I have his brain. -Riza.

-I have his brain now. Say to him Riza. -Riza.

-Say it. -Riza.

Yes bro?

Fuck!

-You lucky dog. -Come on let´s go.

Ohh sure.

Sure you leave now.

-Lucky bastard. -Shut up!

-Riza close the shop later. -Okay.

Nice chick.

Cicek...

Cicek...

...I´m crazy for you.

Hear me?

I´m crazy for you.

Remember the day you came to the shop...

...you came through the door...

...like an angel flying in the sky.

You kissed me...

...I was like...

...since that day...

Oh my god.

Cicek...

...do you hear me?

Who am I talking to?

Are you crying?

What´s going on?

Look at me.

Are you thinking of someone else?

Look at me. Are you thinking of someone else?

-Look at me! -Leave me alone!

Don´t drive me crazy!

My love means the world to me. You understand?

Fuck off!

Fuck off!!

Fucking idiot. Fucking retard.

Stand up! Stand up now.

Stand up.

Stand up come on!

We are leaving here.

-Stand up! -Stop.

Calm yourself. Fucking idiot!

Stop, I will get off. Stop now!

Kudret stop, I´ll get off.

Kudret, I´ll get off.

-What the fuck?! -Stop!

Stop! Stop here! I´ll get off.

Dogan!

I know you are there, open the door!

Don´t you have the guts to look at me?

Why did you come back then?! You have no right to come back!

Dogan!

You can´t just burst into someone´s life and then disappear.

You can´t just pretend you never looked at me!

You can´t just make someone fall in love with you and then leave. Hear me?

Dogan!

-Dogan where are you? -Cicek.

I was looking for you.

You jerk.

-How could you leave me?! -Cicek wait.

-How could you leave me? -Cicek.

Let me go!

Love is like giving a loaded gun to someone...

...and wait for them to shoot you.

I gave that gun to Dogan that night.

Where are you going?

Never to take it back.

Ülkü?

Tell me you found her.

-What are you doing? -I am burning them.

She can´t find it out anymore.

I won´t leave any trace behind. Go find my daughter!

I looked everywhere, couldn’t find them. Her phone is off.

-Let´s go to police. -What would they do? She is over 18.

-Just accept it, it´s over. -No it´s not! Leave me alone.

-Please, Dogan will tell her the truth. -He can´t prove it, get out of my way.

Ülkü would you please look at me! Look at my face please.

-Get off me! -I am exhausted. Please listen to me.

-Get off me! -I said it´s over, it´s over.

-It´s over! -No it´s not! It´s not!

I dedicated my life to it, it´s not over!

What are you doing to me?

Heee?

Then what?

We should burn ourselves with them then.

We should burn ourselves with them then.

We should burn ourselves with them then. Ülkü we should burn ourselves.

What are you doing? Pull yourself together! Don´t go crazy.

-I say we burn together with them. -Stop it!

-I say we burn together, get off me. -Stop! Stop!

- We burn together then. -Okay! Okay!

Okay... Okay...

I give up now.

It can´t be Dogan.

How could it be... It can´t be Dogan.

It can´t be Dogan.

Do you realize how little we know each other?

Hihiii.

There are so many things I don´t know about you.

Like...

-Your horoscope? -Aries.

Alright, but that was easy. I´ll find something more difficult.

-Let me think... -Ask me.

Have you ever got beaten up?

-Yes. -Of course.

I was in a cab once...

...we argued with him about something.

I thought I could take him down, you know I was about to beat him up.

Then we got in a fight. Guess what happened?

There were 30 guys in the blink of an eye.

I got beaten up so badly.

-They fucked up my face. -It sounds terrible.

-My turn. -Yes.

What was the moment you felt most ashamed?

It was 4th grade...

...I had played in snow a little, I got wet through my pants.

-Guess what did the teacher do when I got in class? -What?

He took my clothes off and put them on the heater.

I sat in my pantyhose for three hours.

Oh my god.

Did you blush?

I was so ashamed that I can´t even forget about it today.

It´s my turn.

Who was your first love?

Come on, you should have been fallen in love until now.

Who was she?

She was a girl in college.

Was she pretty?

Yes.

What is her name?

-Cicek... -Yes?

Alright then, it´s obviously something personal.

Last question.

Yes.

Did she leave you?

Alright come here.

I will never leave you.

Yes you will.

Never.

I will never let you go.

What now?

What do you want?

I would like to come to Istanbul with you.

College?

I can chose a college in Istanbul. I have always wanted to live there.

Your mom, your dad?

My dad will understand it.

He will get mad and upset...

...but he will understand.

-Cicek... -Hmm?

-I should tell you something. -Yes.

Dogan...

...nothing you say would take you away from me, alright?

And it doesn´t matter. All I want is...

...to enjoy this very moment with you.

Dogan.

-Don´t forget to bring me some clothes. -Hihii.

-And a pack of cigarettes. -Is that so?

Well done Cicek, you made him act just like you do.

-Hello, how are you? -Fine thanks and you?

-Can I get one? -Sure.

-Here you are. -Thanks, see you.

See you.

I won´t open it.

-Mom! -Cicek.

-I´m begging you, please. -Let me go!

-You are my sweetheart. -Where is she? Where is mom?

Don´t forget, I´m your father. Would you please listen to me?

I´m begging you. Please I´m begging you.

I´m begging you...

-Cicek please listen to me. -Let me go!

Why does Dogan have this?

-Cicek please-- -Dad let me go! You don´t know anything.

Why does Dogan have this? Tell us so dad can understand it too.

Years years ago...

...I gave birth to a baby.

Don´t give me that.

She was the most beautiful girl on earth, she...

...was the smartest and the most kindhearted one.

She was kind of a miracle.

She was unbelievably beautiful.

I named her Cicek.

What the hell are you talking about? I have never been like a miracle.

Who is talking about you?

Who is she?

Your older sister.

My older sister?

Do I have an older sister?

Where is she now?

She was 18...

...when she was diagnosed...

...with cancer.

They said one year...

...she can live one more year.

Did she die?

There was just one hope, just one chance.

A sibling... that´s what doctors said.

A marrow of a sibling might rescue her.

Can someone make love whilst crying?

I did.

I made love to your father with tears in my eyes...

...and praying to God.

After 9 months,

when I was giving birth to you in that operating room...

...your sister was suffering in the next room.

She didn’t have so much time left.

I thought she was going to be alright...

...she wasn´t. Your marrow didn´t work.

She closed her eyes...

...20 days after surgery.

My dear Cicek didn´t open her eyes again.

It was not your fault.

Exactly, exactly. That´s what your father said that day.

"It´s not her fault Ülkü. It´s not her fault."

Do you know what I think when I look at you?

Please don´t.

I gave birth to you for just one reason...

...but you failed us.

It doesn´t matter to me anymore if you live or die.

You are lying, aren’t you?

You loved me, right mom?

Haven´t you ever loved me?

I have...

...I have...

...but under one circumstance.

I raised you as if you were your sister.

And...

...all the clothes I gave you as a present.

All of them belonged to your sister.

Mosaic cake...

...was her favorite. Ceramics...

...was the thing she loved. That film was her favorite too.

What about studying medicine? It was your sister´s major.

Your name doesn´t even belong to you.

We...

...moved from Ankara to here immediately...

...all these years...

...I raised you as if you were your sister...

...I looked at you and dreamed of her.

And you haven´t been against it.

You just did what you were told.

God had answered my prayers, he had accepted the deal...

...but how could I know That God had his own terms.

What terms?

Your sister...

...had fallen in love with a guy in college.

We had been against this love. We had thought it was too soon.

But the guy...

...he also won us over. He was a good kid...

...he was so kindhearted. He used to love your sister.

His name was Dogan.

Cicek?

Mom.

Wake up mom.

Mom.

Cicek...

...is that you?

Yes, it´s me.

Did you miss me?

Yes my love.

Look at me carefully then.

Because it´s the last time you will see me.

There are miseries that devastate us in life.

And there are miseries that makes us grow.

But I see it now...

...the cruelest place on earth is...

...home.

Murat!

Murat!

-Murat, Cicek left. Go bring her back. -Where did she go?

Did she tell you anything?

Go bring Cicek back. Bring my daughter back.

All these years I have been living someone else´s life.

Now...

...it´s time for me to find out who I really am.

Where are you going?

I´m going to Istanbul to find my daughter.

How do you know she is in Istanbul?

Somebody saw her getting on a bus.

I´ll come with you.

I´m going without you.

You will come back, right?

I don´t have anyone but you.

I ruined my own daughter´s life for you Ülkü.

So that you are not hurt.

You are leaving me right?

No, I am not.

I will live in this house till my last day.

We will be living in this house together...

...just like two prisoners.

You will never be satisfied with me and torture me.

I will let this happen Ülkü.

But not because I love you...

...since I am your partner in this crime...

...I will serve my sentence like that Ülkü...

...by staying with you.

Personalized bracelets! Want one miss?

You want one? It´s 6 liras... Will bring you good luck.

Come spit on my face if it doesn´t.

Alright then give me one.

Good. Great. It´s my first sale of the day.

What should I engrave, miss? Miss?

-Miss? -Huh?

What´s your name?

-I don´t know. -Huh?

I don´t know.

Okay it´s 4 liras for you. Okay?

It´ll be the first sale of the day.

Okay, as you wish. Would you want one sir?

I couldn´t do it Cicek.

I couldn´t tell you that I was in love with your sister years ago.

It was love at first sight...

I love you Dogan.

“A rose for each day I loved you.” ...I loved her madly...

...but I couldn´t tell you that.

I couldn´t Cicek.

Forget me.

I couldn´t tell you that she suddenly left me one day.

I stayed on that bridge Cicek.

I couldn´t leave.

Till the day a job offer...

...came from a city I don´t know.

It was meant for me to find you there.

A flower that gave me a second chance...

Cicek Ince. Must be a joke,right?

You are the lawyer right, you are the one to find her.

What are you talking about man, It has been 20 years. I will go mad.

Everything is the same. Her hair, her looks.

Even the hairclip she wears is the same!

Her name is the same for god´s sake!

I will go mad, alright you... You got my e-mail right?

Okay, send it to me, I am waiting. Come on.

Date of death: 1997 Time of death: 17:05 Cause of death: Cancer.

It seems that my cruel girlfriend...

...had passed away years ago.

She thought...

...I would be devistated if she´d died in my arms.

And you...

...an unpreventable rain drop...

...fresh as spring.

Knocked on my door for days.

I ran away from you...

...I tried.

I couldn´t decide...

...if I were in love with a withered dream or with you.

I said to myself.

Even if you can forget about the past, there are ages between the two of you...

...how can you forget about them?

I tried everything.

I left you.

Let me go!

But I came back I couldn’t forget you.

I was going to tell you...

-Cicek. -Don’t let me go.

...I am 40 years old Cicek.

This burden I have, all these mistakes.

But I turned into a new man...

...with you.

I loved myself around you Cicek.

I loved myself because you loved me...

...but I couldn’t tell you.

Hello Sevil, did she call?

Okay, Thanks.

My destiny keeps on recovering itself.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

How many times can a heart be shattered?...

...I have no idea.

Just like that.

Twenty years aside, a lost soul,...

...the cruel secret of a family...

...but then again this passioned love stalled into my heart.

No way to unstall it man.

What do you say?

Can we meet again some day?

I thought so too.

I better finish my memorizing.

Okay, we write the lines then.

-Alright then, see you. -Okay, bye.

Bye bye.

I got your gift sis.

I don´t know if we´ll meet again but...

...I carry him in my heart.

Cicek!