Original subtitles

Well, it looks like a nice day.

A nice start.

It looks like everything is going to be okay.

Well, her shoes are in the exact right order there as per usual.

Those little things over there look like they're in the right place.

Oh, wait a second.

Stop here.

Oh, for the love of St. Francis. The marker lines on the glass of water

really hate it when she does that. It's just so creepy.

There she is.

The old tosser.

I don't mean that she's... What I mean is that... What I'm trying to say is

she's been tossing in the bed a lot lately.

Look, we've all been going through quite a lot. It's been a tricky time for

everyone.

It's just that I love her.

Okay? I'm not afraid to say that. I have to know. I need to know. She's going to

be okay.

Get up.

Oh, Jesus, that's a relief.

Sorry. That's okay, Joy. We're learning to deal with this in our own way.

Johnny hates me.

Why? Is she laughing?

Oh, my God, he's not back, is he? I can't smell his stuff anywhere.

I can smell him from three miles away. I'm a dog, for God's sake.

Yes? What?

What now?

Shit.

Shit, shit, or shit, shit?

Aiden? Oh, Jesus, it's a shit on the bed. Oh, God, why do I keep doing that?

Oh, no.

Aiden! Okay, look, if I can't see you, you can't see me.

Aiden! No, put that down. What are you doing?

Ah!

Bad dog ownership.

Aiden!

Were you not just calling him?

No, this was canine -aiding, not human -aiding.

Human -aiding has never actually taken a shit on me. Like, in either way, like,

not in a gross way or, like, in a sexy way. Can it ever be sexy? I just feel

like, no, never.

Although it does sort of feel like he's shot all over me.

Why? I feel it was our differences, you know?

But, like, why should we change who we are?

I guess we should stop making each other happy, but it's really hard, this

modern way in which we live. It's constant, are we happy?

No, why?

Yes, my giant.

Why?

Nitroizer, serumizer, activizer, vitamin, multis, all the Bs, the C, D,

sunshine, happiness, vitamin.

That's all.

Aiden? Aiden!

Aiden!

Aiden!

Aiden!

Like what? What?

Like, what do you want?

Excuse me? You've been after me for ten minutes. Like, what do you want? I don't

know what you're talking about.

Okay, look, I had this huge night last night. I'm incredibly edgy right now,

but... Did we?

Did we? Sorry?

Swipe right.

Huh?

Oh, my God.

You just did the thing, didn't you? You texted me to see if it's me, and I'm

like... Okay, so my hands have literally not moved.

And there's my phone.

Whoa. Excuse me. Hang on. Excuse me. Hey.

All right.

Let's, uh...

It's a reminder of your pelvic floor exercises.

Aiden!

Is your dog called Aiden?

Yeah.

Aiden. Hello, Aiden.

My name is also Aiden.

When I was... Yeah.

You're human, Aiden.

Thanks, I can be human, Aiden.

Oh, Aiden and Aiden.

I can't talk. I have to go to work.

I'm fine. You're not.

You're not fine.

You haven't been answering my calls, so I've had to get up off my hole, come

over here and check on you.

It's inconvenient. I'm busy.

Oh, really?

How is Space Rocket Invader 7 going?

I'm up to level four.

That's actually not bad.

I just want to see you cry.

Once.

Just have a cry. Or a bit of a cry. I don't want to lie.

I don't have any tears. I don't need tears, because I'm fine, and you're kind

bullying me now, to be honest. It's just, I know that today is... Does that

work?

I know it's May 28th.

Those pelvic floor exercises, huh?

Yeah. Amazing.

I mean, I may not be so toned.

Like here.

Or like here.

Or here.

Uh -huh.

But my vagina's very toned.

Yes, it is.

It's just a pity I can't show it off more in cute outfits, you know?

I have to go.

Oh, my God, I've got the best idea.

Trish, you should move in with me.

You could play Death Star 9 while I watch Gilmore Girls eating blocks of

and dams on the couch. Why not is the actual question.

Because I'm about to have a baby.

And I live with Tom, who's my husband.

I mean, there is that.

I could move in with you.

Help out a bit.

We could, like, wash your hair, do a poo in peace.

Go in, take your time in there.

You can get hemorrhoids if you try and rush it. I just don't want that

to my best friends, Bob.

Joy, are you lonely?

No.

I know you don't handle change well, and this is you coping with it by

pretending it isn't happening and cutting yourself off from the rest of

world. You could advertise your place for a flatmate.

With a stranger?

Yeah.

Strangers are the best.

Hello.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Absolutely fine.

Charlene's looking for you. There's been some flora emergency.

They need you up there right now.

I think they've got some big changes in mind for you.

What?

Oh, my

God,

you're here.

I was just waiting for you, and now you're here.

Charlie and I work here. You do work here. But now you're going to work here

even more. What?

Everyone is literally losing their shit.

Everyone's favorite vlogger slash reporter slash hyphenated person Flora

gone, and they are freaking out. She basically cashed in a group hit voucher

some skin resurfacing, but it turns out the plastic surgeon is actually a dental

hygienist who lied.

I mean, the details are sketchy as fuck, but she's basically hiding out down in

a cottage in Offaly.

while we wait for the swelling to die down so we can recognise some, if any,

her face again.

Oh, my God, are you her?

Am I her? Who? Her? You, here, the temp, to fill in.

I already work here.

You see, that's the spirit.

Oh, no, I mean, actually, I do work here in a small little office. Her name is

Joy. She's a copy editor.

She is our saviour. It is so good to meet you, Joy.

We have met a few times. We have big things planned for you.

Well, not really planned because we are in the middle of an unexpected crisis.

Flora is gone. Her face is gone. She basically can't find her nostrils right

now. No nostrils. And her pieces have been one of our biggest success stories

date. And our subscribers are going to drop unless we can fix this and find a

solution. Enjoy one minute.

Can somebody get me colostrum on my roll today, please? Thank you. And Joy, four

of my children are undergoing orthodontic treatment at the moment, and

need to get this sorted. Yeah, and we think that you are the woman for the

Hmm?

Wait.

Oh, God, no.

Sorry, I can't fill in for her. I don't have any experience.

Charlene? You know, I conjugate verbs and that. Yeah, Charlene, you should,

she... She could fill in. Charlene can't do it. She basically runs the office

here. She's our right -hand woman. Well, she also has little charisma and a

compromised past.

But you, Joy, you have something. And it's an opportunity to get away from the

whatever it is. What exactly is it that you use to... Verbs, grammar,

prepositions.

Well, I have a preposition for you.

The propositions.

This.

This week's piece.

It's a doozy. The piece?

Yes, the piece. As our new happiness hunter, hunting for happiness.

Well, you know the drill. Hunting out answers to our quest for happiness,

remedies to modern life's weariness, balm for the existential panic that

meaningless indemnity and shorts.

Mostly through sponsored treatments and events.

That's overwhelming.

I really don't think that I'm the right person for this. I mean, I do appreciate

that you think that I could.

Well, we never actually said that. But I... Yes, Joy, yes.

You don't have to hide in the shadows anymore.

Scared to come out because Flora's light shone so brightly. You were the wind

beneath her wings. Now, Joy, you're the wind beneath our wings.

Come on, Joy, we're under time pressure.

We've sponsors and subscribers to keep happy. Like, actually, literally.

I'll do it.

Well, no, you are doing it.

And the TV awards are coming up soon, and this segment is our best shot at an

award. We'll be there at this time to talk you through.

Watching you.

Come on, come on.

Oh,

dear. Oh, boss.

Holy shit, Charlene, what was that? I can't do this. You did it at university.

Did what?

No, I studied English.

Oh, well, that's perfect, because it'll be in English.

And you like facts and things.

Yeah, and writing.

Well,

I mean, I did do a few classes, but I only really signed up because all my

friends were having kids and I couldn't really join their baby groups, because

apparently it's weird to join a baby group if you're not pregnant or you

have a baby.

I did write a piece once about dogs.

What are they thinking?

You know, like, what are they... What are they actually thinking?

Okay, interesting.

So, while you're covering Flora, you need to copy her format.

Today's event is at the Aviva Stadium.

Oh, they're going to be abseiling off it or something.

Yada, yada. And Stan is going to be there to help you film it. Oh, just

Flora's lead, okay?

She's already established the brand, and everyone loves her.

She's our biggest feature.

Flora is, was, our golden ticket. So no pressure.

Actually, there is pressure.

So you need to do this, otherwise we're going to lose our sponsors and our jobs.

Oh, and Geoffrey's kids will have snaggled teeth for the rest of their

Oh dear.

Let's get you in the chair immediately.

Tell them about your position.

Rose, are you sure? Thank actual God you could do this. These guys have been

waiting for five months for a slot on the Happy Hunter.

It's big sponsorship. Big. It's a biggie, as they say in the biz. So

like a psychological exercise.

These are real people with real fears, and they are trying to face them, Joy.

And it's your job to explore why.

Brows are big right now.

Come on, Joy. Come on.

Time to go.

Whoa.

New look, Joy. Brows are big right now. So that's where you're going, Joy.

You're up sailing down.

Pardon?

Oh, no, I'm not going to be doing it.

Oh, yes, you are, Joy. That's part of the piece.

Your experience.

I can't.

You have to.

Buckle her in.

My knickers, guys.

Guys.

John. John, get in there. Get this.

Get this.

Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Hang on. I can't hear you from up here.

Hang on now.

Look at you.

Quite the wedgie.

Aren't they?

It's really up there.

Oh, gosh.

I'll do that. Okay.

Take this. Take this. Okay.

Just see them as real people.

Okay? Here to take the plunge into a whole new world off the roof of the

It's a metaphor.

A metaphor. It's real people. Go in there.

It's very, very high. Yeah.

Woo!

Woo!

Hey, people.

Hey, people.

Be cooler.

Cool.

Heya, fuckers. Too much.

Be like Flora. Be like Flora.

Oh, okay.

Hello there. Thank you so much for coming here today. We're really excited

you're here. Thank you so much for coming.

So this is all about facing your fears.

Why are you here?

Oh, it's just an experience type thing.

Like, loads of people are doing it. It's getting really popular.

My mom said when I came out of her, I just came out so fast, I bounced right

the floor and it was pretty traumatic.

So I'm personally rebirthing.

See if it sorts out some stuff.

Oh, that's so nice.

The old woman.

Absolutely.

Excuse me, old lady.

Why are you here?

My counselor says I need to find a new high to replace the porn addiction.

I've just been watching a lot of porn. That's good.

They say that's good.

Cool. Get him. Get him. Get him.

Excuse me, sir.

Has anything so scary happened in your life that it changed you forever?

Jody.

Hayden.

How are you?

I'm okay. Yeah.

Don't we give us a second?

Yeah.

I have this cool new job now, which is really cool. Yeah. I mean, you know, you

always said you should make things up, Joyce. I'm like, I like mixing things

motherfuckers.

What the fuck, Joy?

It's the guys.

Hey, this parcel came for you today. It's at our home, at the house that I

in, in that place.

Yeah, it's not really important anymore. You can throw it in the bin.

Oh, God, Aidan, this is so weird. What are you doing here?

Someone I met told me about it.

Okay.

Today's the 28th of May.

It would have been the second year anniversary of us.

So, I know you like to do things a certain way.

And because it's a special occasion, I thought that maybe that we could do

something that we haven't done before.

Would you consider and do me the honor and allow me to

take you up the Eiffel Tower for

our anniversary?

Hey.

It's like a fresh start and all that, you know?

Jumping into my new life.

Okay, time to go over now, Joy.

Stan, get in there.

Joy, you're going over.

Who's that?

Move away, move away. I don't know who you are. Move away.

Actually, on that, is there time for a wee?

Later. Later.

Just go over.

Stan, get in behind her. You're doing it.

Yeah. Hurry up now. Beautiful.

Yay.

Woo.

That's it.

Now, head next.

Okay,

so lean out with straight arms to me.

And then flat rope is yours.

The dominant hand low.

Okay. Yep.

You got it.

Hands down, away from the steel.

When you're ready, lift your feet.

There you go, you're up, Selma.

Oh,

to answer your first question. Yes? Did anything so scary ever happen to me that

it changed me forever?

What?

Yes.

I draw these lines.

On my glass, because I know if I drink down below it, I'll need to get up in

night for a wee.

And I just remember everything all over again.

Better to try and stay asleep.

8 .5 hours of not thinking.

He just peed on me.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Do you know him?

He's the one who's not dealing with all of this well.

Apologize.

Sarah.

Well, I put on a sad song and see if we can squeeze out one tear.

No.

Lovely clean sheets.

Will I tell her about the couch now?

No.

Finding Joy continues next Wednesday at 9 .35 here on RT1.

After the break, Brendan O 'Connor's Cutting Edge returns for a new series

panellists Jason Byrne, Anna Geary and Brenda Power. Stay with us.