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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,071 (groaning softly) 2 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,046 Okay, who'd like to start us off with show-and-tell? 3 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,814 Stewie? 4 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,817 Yes, today I brought in my mother's driver's license. 5 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,787 Now, if you look closely, she's clearly drunk. 6 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,489 You could put a Breathalyzer up to that photo, 7 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,190 and she'd get a DUI. 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,393 Ha-ha, Stewie's naked! 9 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,028 What?! 10 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,996 (laughter) 11 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,297 Oh, my God! Don't look! Don't look! 12 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,033 Cell phones down! Cell phones down! 13 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,468 (ominous music playing) 14 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:43,242 (shouts) What the deuce?! Stewie! 15 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,843 Run from the monster. 16 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,079 You might have to drive. 17 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,082 (groaning) 18 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,020 Thank you all so much for coming this evening 19 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,389 to my very fancy dinner party. 20 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,225 Oh, my God! I'm at Glenn Close's house! 21 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,394 You look very handsome tonight, Stewie. 22 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,229 Well, thank you. And you're the prettiest 23 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,665 of all the women I know whose name is Glenn. 24 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,667 Everyone, please finish your salads, 25 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,936 because our main course tonight is... 26 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,739 boiled rabbit. (laughing) 27 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,107 (laughter) 28 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,276 I-I don't... I don't get that. 29 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,411 It seems weird that I'd have a joke in my own dream 30 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,346 that I don't get. Oh, thank you so... 31 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,414 (shouts) 32 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,819 (groaning) 33 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,290 Quick, you're almost on! 34 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,291 What? I'm on? 35 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,359 But I don't know any of my lines! 36 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:39,965 (gasps) 37 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,733 ♪ It seems today ♪ 38 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,735 ♪ That all you see ♪ 39 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,272 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 40 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,442 PETER: ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 41 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,712 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ (mumbling gibberish) 42 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,116 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 43 00:01:57,118 --> 00:02:00,719 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 44 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,154 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ (mumbling gibberish) 45 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,156 ♪ Pumpkin pie ♪ 46 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,991 What the hell? Put him on the bench. 47 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,293 Wait, please, no! I just wasn't ready! 48 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:11,330 Don't worry. We'll put you in soon. 49 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,331 Ho-ho-ho! 50 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,400 Is funny because you won't be back! 51 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:21,373 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 52 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,475 (shouts) 53 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,944 Wait, how did Joe get halfway up those stairs? 54 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,146 Lois, get in here! 55 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,014 It's dark and I'm frightened! 56 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,219 I think they've got this thing backwards. 57 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,289 Hey, wake up! 58 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:40,526 I had a bad dream, so now your night has to be terrible. 59 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,127 Peter, Stewie's upset. 60 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,129 Scooch over so he can sleep with us. 61 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,831 Oh, come on. Are you serious? 62 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,432 Last time, he kicked me all night. 63 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,202 And I got a big day tomorrow. I got two shows. 64 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,204 All right, folks, big treat for you today. 65 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,972 He's a little shy. 66 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,542 Put your hands together for Sham-Peter! 67 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,545 I'm not shy! I'm angry! 68 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:02,214 I'm in constant pain! 69 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,450 This act has been condemned by over 30 nations! 70 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,387 I'm gonna kill you all! 71 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,159 PETER: Ah, crap. I can't sleep like this. 72 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,727 And now my mind is racin'. 73 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:18,030 Like, how does that candle in Beauty and the Beast 74 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,299 sing so good? I mean, the teapot I get, 75 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,734 'cause she's a girl. But the candle, I don't under... 76 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,336 Oh, he's French. That's why. 77 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,571 (coughs) 78 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,072 (groans) 79 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,076 Couch it is, I guess. 80 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,811 Oh, my God. The couch is gone. 81 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,246 Where the hell is... Oh, that's right. 82 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,348 Couchella is this weekend. 83 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,016 (electronic music playing) 84 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,219 Hey, man, where you been?! 85 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:43,222 I just had sex with a girl on her period! 86 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,724 Dude, that's not a brag! 87 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,397 So, how fat are you? 88 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,766 240? Nice. 89 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,768 Oh, Peter! What are you doing down here? 90 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,404 Oh, hey, Brian. Stewie kind of took over our bed, 91 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,839 so I'm looking for a place to sleep. 92 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,274 Well, why don't you go up to the attic? 93 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,842 I think there's even a futon up there. 94 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,277 Huh. That's a great idea. 95 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,112 Geez, I'm glad you came along. 96 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:10,048 I'm gonna sleep better than a cartoon sheriff. 97 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,117 (snoring) 98 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,855 (click) 99 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,291 (twinkly toes sound effect) 100 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,461 (quietly): I was in jail 'cause I killed a bunch of old ladies. 101 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,430 And now that I'm out, I'm gonna do it again. 102 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,266 (light-hearted music cue) 103 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,440 Wow, Stewie, you look exhausted. 104 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,443 Yeah, 'cause I was up super late last night, beefing your mom. 105 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,746 My mom's dead. Yeah, 'cause I beefed her to death. 106 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,548 Whoa, what's your problem? Why are you being such a jerk? 107 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,118 I'm sorry, Brian. I had the absolute worst night. 108 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,388 I had a weird dream. A frightening dream. 109 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,756 Yeah, Stewie, that's called a nightmare. 110 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,758 Sounds like you must've had your first one. 111 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,459 That's what a nightmare is? 112 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,428 I thought "nightmare" meant, like, being invited 113 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,929 to an apartment party. 114 00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:59,765 Get a house if you want to have a party. 115 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,333 I'm not going to a party in an apartment. 116 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,567 Relax, it's no big deal. 117 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,303 People have nightmares all the time. 118 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,105 Oh, no, Brian. I am not living through that horror again. 119 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,474 In fact, I've decided that from this day forward, 120 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,477 I shall never allow myself to fall asleep again. 121 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,478 Come on, that's ridiculous. 122 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,479 How do you think you're gonna do that? 123 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,114 I don't know. Maybe I'll get a job 124 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,450 working the night shift at a supermarket. 125 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,285 Hey, where's the vegetable aisle? 126 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,355 Yeah, right, it's 2:00 a.m. You're not here for vegetables. 127 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,525 (dejectedly): Well, I got the 12 cucumbers. 128 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,360 What's wrong? Just this guy at the... 129 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,262 (sighs) Never mind. 130 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,600 Peter, we have a hamper. 131 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,503 Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet. 132 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,705 Peter? 133 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,540 Peter, where are you? 134 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,408 (video game sound effects) 135 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,712 What's all this? 136 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,314 Oh, hey, Lois. Welcome to the Pete Pad, 137 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,184 where the dancing's hot, the drinks are hot... 138 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,618 Everything's just freakin' hot. 139 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,487 What have you done to the attic? 140 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,788 Well, when I slept up here the other night, 141 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,557 I realized what a great space it is. 142 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,326 So I dragged up some stuff and turned it into a sweet hangout. 143 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,496 Even made it extra awesome by stealing a real street sign. 144 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,031 (children giggling in distance) 145 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,233 (tires screech, thudding) (children scream) 146 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,369 I don't understand. What are you gonna do up here? 147 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,237 Eh, mostly just burn the roof of my mouth 148 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,406 on unevenly-heated microwave burritos. 149 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,442 Now I'm busy, so close the floor and get out of here. 150 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,850 All right, all right, come on, Stewie. 151 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,985 You've got to stay awake. I know what'll help. 152 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,387 I'll watch that preview channel 153 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,589 that always has inconsistent volumes. 154 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,492 ANNOUNCER: They're mother and daughter but also best friends. 155 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,395 Catch Gilmore Girls on Channel 367. 156 00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:39,331 ANNOUNCER 2 (loudly, blown-out): You can name your own price for hotel rooms! 157 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,743 (water gurgling) 158 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,580 (exhales) Help! Please! 159 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,851 (grunts) Damn it! Why can't I move?! 160 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,220 (rattling) 161 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,190 (growling) 162 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,525 Aah! 163 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,026 Stewie, you okay? What happened? 164 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,628 I was just sitting here on the couch and I had 165 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,530 another nightmare about that horrible monster. 166 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,764 Okay, that's it. 167 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,966 I'm gonna help you get these nightmares under control. 168 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,868 Really? Oh, thank you, Brian. 169 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,538 And maybe I can help you control your strange obsession 170 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,806 with eating pencil erasers. 171 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:23,275 It's not an obsession. 172 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,709 Mmm, mmm, oh, yeah. 173 00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,611 Oh, so rubbery. Mmm. 174 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,580 It's like a little steak. Mmm, mmm. 175 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,915 Brian, you really should... 176 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,117 The world is small and safe when I do this! 177 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,993 Okay, Stewie, I read the review of a dream book on Amazon, 178 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,562 so I think I can help you. 179 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:46,665 Literally every other tab is open to Lusty Matures. 180 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,433 Yup, that's what it takes now. 181 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,335 Anyway, it says here that most nightmares 182 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,270 are born of subconscious fears. 183 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,905 So maybe if we make a list of the things 184 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,074 you're most afraid of, we can face and conquer 185 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,909 these fears together, and then your nightmares'll end. 186 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,111 Huh, that's actually a good idea. 187 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,347 Like the U.S. Army Reserves. 188 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,682 (explosion) 189 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,585 We're completely surrounded. We need reinforcements. 190 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,620 You know who could really bail us out? 191 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:12,657 Somebody who works five days a week at Enterprise Rent-A-Car. 192 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,030 These new digs of yours are pretty great, Peter. 193 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,500 Hey, I brought construction paper and markers 194 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,502 in case you guys want to draw breasts. 195 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:27,172 Cool. But before that, who's up for another insulation fight? 196 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,940 I'm in. Heck yeah. 197 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,309 (giggling) 198 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,844 Ha! (giggling) 199 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,913 Gotcha! 200 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,617 Missed me. 201 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,485 Sneak attack! 202 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,554 (all giggling) 203 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,590 (coughing) 204 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,560 What are you doing up here? 205 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,529 I need you to take the trash out. 206 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,563 You know what? I'm gonna use this 207 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,065 Peter Doesn't Have to Take Out the Trash coupon 208 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,300 that I got for my anniversary. 209 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,902 You gave that to yourself. 210 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,870 I don't know, it says "official." 211 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,739 Oh, forget it, I'll do it myself. 212 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,742 This whole attic business is ridiculous. 213 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,744 Hey, guys, check it out. 214 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,579 I'm a lady. 215 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,014 Joe... 216 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,650 you hit a home run with that, I want to try it. 217 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,722 All right, Stewie, time to tackle your fears. 218 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,925 Now, it sounds like you're scared of monsters. 219 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,561 So to help you get over it, here's Frankenstein. 220 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,564 (growls) I'm Frankenstein. 221 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,198 I'm actually really nice. 222 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,235 There's no need to be scared of me. (growls) 223 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,570 Seriously? 224 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,572 This is obviously Chris in a costume. 225 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,440 Huh. Well, that can't be possible. 226 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,043 Because here comes Chris walking in the door right now. 227 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,779 Hey, hey, hey. Here comes Chris Griffin, 228 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:41,913 a-roodly-toot-toot. 229 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,381 Yeah, okay, whatever, Meg. 230 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,616 Meg? 231 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,451 You must be talking about me, 232 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,486 a-roodly-toot-toot. 233 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,762 Do they all say "a-roodly-toot-toot"? 234 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,431 A lot of them, yeah. 235 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,036 Chris, I'm putting together a load of laundry. 236 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,972 You got anything? 237 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,607 (muffled cheering) 238 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,609 Damn it, Peter. 239 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,978 Are you guys playing lawn darts in the attic again? 240 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,412 PETER: No. 241 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,780 Yay, lawn darts! 242 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:16,982 Peter wins lawn darts. 243 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,650 She's dumb. She got no idea. 244 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,418 (sighs) 245 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,653 (laughing) 246 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,154 All right, Peter, that's enough. 247 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,823 It is time to get out of... 248 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,224 What the hell? 249 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,793 Oh, yeah, we put Joe in Stewie's old Jolly Jumper. 250 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,229 You told me this was a paratrooper's harness. 251 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,897 Shut up, baby man. 252 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,633 That's it. This is our home, 253 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,668 not some frat house for you and your friends. 254 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,837 Now, I want you out of this attic now. 255 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,171 No way, we ain't leaving. 256 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,740 We're having too much fun up here. 257 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,842 Quagmire just showed us his Eric McCormack impression. 258 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,744 There could be no such thing. 259 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,245 Well, that's what I said, but then he did it, 260 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,648 and I was like, "Oh, all right, okay, yeah, kind of." 261 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,683 Fine. You like the damn attic so much? 262 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,818 Then enjoy the attic! 263 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,353 (electric whirring) 264 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,525 Did... did she just lock us in here? 265 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,826 It looks like it. 266 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,764 Guys, spin me back. I didn't see what happened. 267 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,870 So, how'd it go last night? Did we cure your nightmares? 268 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,938 No, not at all. They were worse than ever. 269 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,940 Which is why I built this. 270 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,009 ♪ ♪ 271 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,817 What the hell is that? 272 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,852 It's a Digital Dream Interface. 273 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,854 You see, once connected to this device, 274 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,691 you will be able to enter my sleeping mind, where 275 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,726 you will end these horrible dreams once and for all. 276 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,960 I'm gonna do what? 277 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,328 (babbles) 278 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,697 What... what-what does he want? 279 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:39,731 What is he saying? 280 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,332 I think he's saying "a-roodly-toot-toot". 281 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,735 We just can't understand him because of the way he talks. 282 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:44,869 (babbles) 283 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,238 Oh, no, no, I think he just needs a ride home. 284 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,679 Stewie, you can't be serious. 285 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,047 Oh, I'm very serious. 286 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,483 You and I will place these cranial impulse receptor caps 287 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,251 on our heads, I shall begin my slumber, and... 288 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,853 And then this thing will actually allow me 289 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,054 to enter your dream? 290 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,389 That's right, Brian. 291 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,491 I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep. 292 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:07,759 Do-Don't... don't say it like that. 293 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,095 And once you're in my dream, your job is to stop 294 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,697 these nightmares by finding that monster and killing him. 295 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,499 This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. 296 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,568 When you get in there, you've got to be hard. 297 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,902 Okay, but that felt intentional. 298 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,437 All right, let's get to it. 299 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,906 This is your receptor cap. 300 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,608 Over here is your REM monitor. 301 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,909 What's this thing do? 302 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,845 Oh, that's just a little bike bell for fun. 303 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,747 (rings) I found it at the crosswalk 304 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,281 where those kids got creamed the other day. 305 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,583 Anyway, let's get started. 306 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,651 ♪ ♪ 307 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,281 Hello? Stewie? 308 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,054 ♪ ♪ 309 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,994 Ah, you must be Brian. I'm Glenn. 310 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:19,631 Yes, I know. You were very mean in 101 Dalmations. 311 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,967 Thank you. Would you like to do the Bristol Stomp? 312 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,003 ♪ The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol ♪ 313 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,338 ♪ When they do the Bristol Stomp ♪ 314 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,940 How does he even know this? ♪ Really somethin' when they join in jumpin' ♪ 315 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,476 He heard it once in the car. ♪ When they do the Bristol... ♪ 316 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,947 Geez, Lois is really serious. 317 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,982 I can't believe she left us up here all night. 318 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,818 Damn it, we got to do something. 319 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,086 Maybe if we just scream for help someone'll hear us. 320 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,456 Help! Help! Help! 321 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,025 MAN: In case of a bear attack, you should 322 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,827 A, lie down, 323 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,595 B, run downhill, 324 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,897 or C, stand your ground? 325 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,103 ♪ ♪ 326 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,172 (whooshing) 327 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,174 ...and just because of the roles I play, 328 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:06,611 people always assume I'm very serious in real life. 329 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,479 Yeah, I could see that. But I'm not. 330 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,015 I'm very capable of being silly, too. 331 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,117 See, watch, I'll show you. 332 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,453 Fart. 333 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,823 I, uh... Did-did... did you just say "fart"? 334 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,326 Yes, that's me being rather silly. 335 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,861 Well, hello, Brian. 336 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,462 I say, what brings you here? 337 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,031 Stewie, hey! I'm here to find and kill the monster 338 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,399 that's been causing all your nightmares. 339 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,901 Oh, that sounds wonderful! Let's do it! 340 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,236 Oh, but real quick, 341 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,404 I'm just gonna turn into Elmo for a second. 342 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,039 Hi, Brian! 343 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,042 Elmo speak bad English on educational show! 344 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,711 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 345 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,779 Okay, I'm back. Let's go. 346 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,083 This way to the subconscious. 347 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,018 (whooshing) 348 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:50,054 (liquid gurgling) 349 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,924 (Muzak playing) 350 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,026 Oh, this seems rather pleasant. Yeah. 351 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,662 Hey, you know, that Glenn Close salad actually wasn't bad. 352 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,131 Yeah, a lot of my dreams have pretty good salad. 353 00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:04,502 Oh, no. What?! Where are we?! 354 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,004 We're at the doctor! 355 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,873 Time for a baby shot in your fanny! 356 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:09,741 (yelling) 357 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,082 (both yell) 358 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,318 (yelling) 359 00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,888 (flames whoosh, yelling) 360 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,757 (laughing) 361 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,960 (yelling) 362 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,966 Come give Grandpa a sloppy, old-man, coffee kiss! 363 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,769 (yelling) 364 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,674 (high-pitched shooting) 365 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,955 Would you like some candy? 366 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,824 Help me find my lost puppy? 367 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,493 I like your mouth and butt. 368 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,228 (yelling) 369 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:05,830 What the hell was that?! 370 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,132 Lois has painted a very dark picture of abduction. 371 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,434 (both grunt) 372 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,303 Adult stuff, adult stuff, adult stuff. 373 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,306 The world is scary, adult stuff, adult stuff. 374 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,143 Scary people yelling in another part of the world, adult stuff. 375 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,244 (screams) 376 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,814 I wish Mom wouldn't watch the news in front of me! 377 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,983 Coming up: a map with a hurricane on it. 378 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:28,019 (in deep voice): And you don't know your states yet! 379 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:35,126 (upbeat banjo music playing) 380 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:38,463 Aah! That one trip to the petting zoo really messed me up! 381 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,031 I saw too much! 382 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,666 (whoosh) 383 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,601 (yelling) 384 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,840 (whoosh) 385 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:54,145 (clacking) 386 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,146 (grunts) 387 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,348 Stewie, look! 388 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,549 (growls) 389 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,685 (gasps) It's the monster! 390 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,153 Quick, Brian! Kill it! 391 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,554 Oh, there you guys are. 392 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,023 I would've been here sooner, 393 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,126 but one of my legs is a snake that's very hungry for mice. 394 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,827 (mouse squeaking) 395 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,662 (magical chime) 396 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,097 (mouse squeaking) 397 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,434 (hissing) 398 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,836 (grunts) 399 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,071 (air whipping) 400 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:24,042 (yells, growling) 401 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,243 (growling) 402 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,944 (yelling) 403 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:34,485 (groaning) 404 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,057 Nice shot. Get it? Shot? 405 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,425 All right, bye! 406 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,393 (mice squeaking) 407 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,229 You did it, Brian! 408 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,065 You killed the monster! 409 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,767 (hissing) 410 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,336 (gasps) What the hell?! 411 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,738 It's me! 412 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,506 Oh, my God, you're right! 413 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,341 But I... I don't understand. 414 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,510 Why am I the source of your fears? 415 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,079 Huh. I'm not sure. 416 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,614 Maybe this means that deep down, 417 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,118 the thing I'm most afraid of is disappointing you. 418 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,121 Me? Wh-Why do you care so much about what I think? 419 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,222 Well, think about it. 420 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,091 You've been more of a father figure to me 421 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,426 than the fat man ever has been or ever will be. 422 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,428 Look, I know I'm always busting your balls, 423 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,298 but it's just because you're the only person in this house 424 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,100 whose judgment actually matters to me. 425 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:25,069 Wow. Thanks, Stewie. 426 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,905 But listen, you-you never have to worry about letting me down. 427 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,440 I'll always be proud of you. 428 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,542 In fact, I already am. 429 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,443 You are? 430 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,644 'Course I am. 431 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,379 I mean, you're only a baby, and yet, 432 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,448 you're one of the most amazing people I know. 433 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,717 Well, thank you, Brian. 434 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,088 Well, Stewie, seems like my work here is done. 435 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,790 What's the best way out of here? 436 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,558 Oh, yeah, no, that one stays locked 437 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,960 until the overnight to Vegas 438 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,828 with my college a cappella group. 439 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,569 Peter, I'm going crazy up here. 440 00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,770 We all are! 441 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,973 You got to talk to Lois! 442 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,241 Damn it, you're right. 443 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,176 Lois, let us out of here! 444 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,311 No way! You like it so much?! 445 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,313 Then you can rot up there with your buddies! 446 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,615 Lois, so help me God, 447 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,483 if you don't let us out right this second, 448 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,352 I'm gonna take a dump on your wedding dress! 449 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,786 You wouldn't dare! 450 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,189 Don't test me. I'll do it! We'll all do it! 451 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,490 Quagmire, pull down your pants! 452 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,025 QUAGMIRE: What?! I'm not doing that! 453 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,593 You leave my dress alone, Peter! 454 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,830 CLEVELAND: If it'll get us out of here, I'll make a doodie on it. 455 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,165 QUAGMIRE: What, are you nuts?! 456 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,699 CLEVELAND: I've been crowning for six hours! 457 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,334 PETER: Cleveland's pants are off, Lois! 458 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,836 Here come mine! This is happening! 459 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,804 QUAGMIRE: Lois, they're not bluffing! Open the door! 460 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,206 JOE: I miss Bonnie! 461 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,774 Damn it, Peter, you hold that in! 462 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,009 I know you can! 463 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,644 You did it on the ferry to Block Island! 464 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,212 QUAGMIRE: Oh, my God, I'm gonna puke! 465 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:43,381 PETER: That's good! Puke on the dress! Puke on the dress! 466 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,916 Aah, damn it! 467 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,453 MAN (over headphones): Not all snake bites are lethal. 468 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,622 (grunts) 469 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,191 (all yelling) 470 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,525 There! You happy?! 471 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,061 You were too late. We pooed on the gown. 472 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,230 Ripped a big hole in your ceiling, too. 473 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:00,398 I barfed on Peter's ass. 474 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,567 I-I don't know if it got on the dress or not, Lois, 475 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,235 but I-I am... I am so sorry. 476 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,837 Yeah, this was all a huge disaster. 477 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:11,309 Let's just agree that we both went a bit too far, hmm? 478 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,377 I, uh... I might... 479 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,280 I might need two weeks off from this friendship. 480 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,257 Stewie, you awake? 481 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,992 Did you have any nightmares? 482 00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,427 I don't think so. 483 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,995 (gasps) Did you get rid of the monster? 484 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,231 Sure did. Turned out that monster was nothing more 485 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,599 than a manifestation 486 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,235 of your subconscious desire not to disappoint me. 487 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,270 Apparently, I'm like a father figure to you. 488 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:42,440 Okay. Wow. Somebody's got a big head. 489 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:46,043 Stewie, I want you to know... I'm very proud of you. 490 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,278 All right, that's... that's awkward. 491 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,447 How-how am I supposed to respond to that? 492 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,449 You are a good person. Stop complimenting me. 493 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,385 "Oh, I sure hope the dog approves of who I am." 494 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,454 I'm out of here, weirdo. 495 00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,157 There's a wedding dress out here covered in (bleep). 496 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,126 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH33642

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