Original subtitles

All right, one hour before the gates open and the activities committee is

buttoned up.

Simple folk do love their revels. It's not all about revels. This event funds

the art program for all the schools in Woodside. So without our efforts today,

there would be no artists tomorrow.

Tragic thought.

It really is.

You can give those to Nana. She's throwing their apple ticket.

But I just bought these for Nana.

You bought those?

Hey, boss.

When do you want the giant bowling?

Other side of the three -legged race.

Copy that.

Oh, and Declan sprained his wrist last night.

So, we're minus a big bubble guy. Uh, can you do it? I'm running the ring

Okay, um, yeah, I'll cover it, but just into one. Then I'm on snow cones.

Patty from the Chronicle will be here between one and two.

Pull some thoughts together.

She may want to interview the activities committee chair.

Oh, Greta, I have a question about your dad. Oh, I have questions of my own.

I was only a babe in my mother's arms when he was devoured by angry fairies.

How do you just come up with this stuff off the top of your head?

I was just wondering if you might help with the three -legged race.

Oh, you mean Baldrick.

Certainly. Tell him it is my command.

All right.

Fifty -two minutes to showtime, guys.

Let's stay focused, okay?

Nana said I could win a prize.

I'd say the odds were good.

So, she'll call a number. Right, and if you have the ticket with that number,

then you get whatever prize is being rappled off.

Well, what if it's not the prize that I want?

Well, it's just fun to win something.

You know, surprises are fun.

That has not been my experience.

Oh, come on. Everybody likes surprises.

Okay,

so about a thousand years ago, there was this princess, Greta.

And she was in big trouble because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of

friends.

So her court magician Baldrick cast the champion spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep until a champion would come, break the

spell with his kiss, and deal with Greta's big scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead, they got me.

Face me like men, you pigeon liver.

I do not have time for that.

Where's my shoe?

I'll make worms eat of the lot of you.

Ah,

an excellent day's catch.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Oh, I know who you are.

You do?

The green garb, feathered cap, the rakish bravado, and the mysterious

your left... Right.

Right wrist.

You are Macklin the Fog.

You are Princess Greta the Besieged.

And you are... I'm Dwight.

The activities chair.

Look, thank you for the novel experience.

Really wish we had more time, but we're kind of committed to this thing.

Hairy a while.

Time enough for cares and woes.

Yeoman, make merry!

This

is

a moment long awaited.

I don't like how he just said that. Nor I.

I have sought you these many years.

The key, your highness.

Never.

The key. I will have you hanged for brigand and knave. Whoa, whoa, okay,

not escalate this.

Nobody's hanging anybody. You can put that away. The key to what?

My royal treasury.

Greta, just give me the key.

It's just money. I cannot yield to a common bandit. Well, maybe they have

reasons. You know, rob the rich, give to the poor. We just rob from the rich and

keep it ourselves.

Oh. We rob from the poor, too, actually, though there is less money in that.

So, you need time to consider my proposal?

And what is your proposal?

Give me the key to the royal treasury.

That's it.

Seems kind of...

One -sided

Take

all the time you need princess

see to it that her highness is afforded every comfort

Are you kidding me?

At least you're kicking.

I can't just hang here like a Christmas ornament. Okay, I'm on bubbles and snow

cones and batting with the chronicles coming at one.

And if I fail, then the carnival fails. And if the carnival fails, then ours

fails. Ours fails, Greta!

Oh.

Hold. Holding.

I have a plan.

We swing our feet.

think I've been doing? No, no, no. Big movements in unison.

Does unison mean something different to you?

Come on, Greta.

Come on, Greta, run.

Show some hustle. We've already missed the opening.

We should have unlocked these shackles before we fled.

I apologize for what's happening.

Here, just present this to any snacks can and get a complimentary beverage of

your choice.

Enjoy the carnival.

We must find Baldrick.

Can you get us out of these?

Macklin is coming with no fewer than 20 brigands.

Sorry.

What's this?

White.

Where have you been?

Dude.

Leave your personal life outside of this, man.

Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not personal.

I got eyes on the boss, and he's heading over there now.

I... Fly into the ring toss.

Where are you going?

The South Lawn.

Late for big bubbles. But what of the brigands?

They're going to have to wait.

Bubbles!

Marshal of the tournament.

The tournament?

You mean the three -legged race?

Shall I add your name to the

list, Rebellion? Not now, Baldrick. Macklin the Fox.

Ready?

Ready for what?

Princess, I believe this is a worthy steam.

Not now, Baldrick. Macklin the Fox and his bandits could descend upon us at any

given moment. How many strong?

A score, at least.

He won't stage an open attack within such a crowd.

He will use stealth.

Can you rid us of these shackles?

Uh, not without a key.

I'm sure the guys at the hardware store can pop us out.

To the hardware store? At what? No, to Big Bubbles at once.

Please, Baldrick, try.

Uh, no, I'm not so sure I'm on board with this.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I think it might be tighter.

Oh.

Oh.

A thousand pardons.

This scepter is not what it once was.

On my way now Out

in out in out in out

Patty from the Chronicle just got here. Where is she?

At VIP parking.

Maybe Greta can do snow cones while you meet and greet?

We cannot be separated.

Oh.

You know, it's not what you think. It's something way weirder.

I'll just send Patty your way.

Out is out.

Excuse us. Out, in, out, in.

Out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in.

Are you mad?

No, not at you, no. Just, it's a frustrating situation.

Why are you hooked together?

Because life is misery and fate is cruel.

Disperse. We're on duty for eight more minutes.

I have squandered enough of my precious time already. I must away.

Well, good luck. Fire department's going to have to pry us out of these.

Outlaws encircle us as we speak.

The door is barred. The door is not barred.

Greta.

Greta! Greta! No!

You could have just unlocked the door.

Pardon me, pardon me. Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.

Are you two okay?

Wiggle your fingers and toes.

Rotate your wrists and your elbows.

Anything hurt?

Any blood?

Good. Then whip it together quick, kiddo, because... Oh, I'd like you to

Patty from the Woodside Chronicle.

Is this still a good time?

They'll never put me in charge of anything again.

I understand, Sir Dwight.

I recall once the duty fell upon me to mediate peace between a goblin warlord

and a clan of dwarves.

The mediation did not go as planned.

In hindsight, it's possible I said the wrong thing.

In the end, they cut each other to ribbons in the Great Hall, and I was

escape the bloody scene with my life.

So I know about life's little disappointments.

Your Highness.

Is it Macklin? I see no sign of his naughty name.

His what?

But the tourney's about to begin, and the contestants are a pitiful lot.

What say you, Sir Dwight?

this field of valor let none interfere with this honorable contest those

of agony pierce our ears and blood covers the field take your

places you know

I bestow upon you these badges of honor for this day's deeds of

valor.

Yeah! Bring on the ale!

No! No, ale is not happening.

I can. You bought all the tickets.

So thrilling.

See? Surprises are fun.

We

meet

again. Put those things away.

This is a family event.

Who are you?

This is my show.

Four months of my life to this and you think you can just somersault in here

with your tights and your booties and make a scene?

Who is he? This is Sir Dwight, my champion.

You just... Not at all.

I could snap him like a twig.

I could snap him like a twig. I don't really need to be here for this.

You mind unlocking me?

What say you, princess?

A key for a key?

I'd sooner factor in these chains until my sinews fall from my bones.

Ew. I swear on my life, I seek only one item from your treasury. What item?

I'll know it when I see it.

Greta?

A word?

Pretty soon, one of us is going to have to use the bathroom or take a bath.

I once spent six months without a bath.

I don't know how long I could go. Okay, that's a story for... Never. I never

want to hear that story.

I will not yield to a bandit.

Dude just wants something from your basement.

One little thing.

You're not yielding.

You're negotiating.

Let's make this snappy, people. I gotta cue the fireworks at eight.

One false move, you brigand, and your insides will be on the outside.

So, what are we looking for?

Secrets. What kind of secrets?

To my true identity.

I was not always Macklin the Fox, but who I was before. That is a mystery.

That sounds like a long story for another time. I awoke in the woods one

many years ago with no recollection of my life, no clue to my origin.

Say this.

My search for answers led me to a witch who told me that the secret to my path

was written in the royal treasury.

Could she have been more specific?

It is possible she was an unreliable witch.

That's rough, man.

But you know what will make everybody feel better?

Fireworks.

I am sorry you did not find what you seek.

Perhaps some mysteries aren't meant to be solved.

This is not one of those.

What did the witch say? The secret to your past is written in the royal

treasury. Anything else?

That'll be 20 crowns.

Written in the royal treasury, but not on a scroll.

On a... a rug?

Recognize that ferret?

To the fox.

This tapestry hung in the throne room of your mountain retreat when you were but

a wee thing, before we fled the Draugar.

Well, it is certainly not to my use.

I have tapestries aplenty. She does.

You may have it, Macklin the Fox.

Consider it my gift to you.

You are most gracious, Highness.

If there is ever a way, I may be of service.

Not a thing.

I guess today turned out okay.

Nobody died.

Oh. And art may yet flourish.

Hear, hear.