Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

[Birds chirping]

[Beeping]

[Alarm buzzes]

Good morning, computer.

[Skidding]

Computer?

What seems to be the problem, computer?

Hmm.

You mean your voice program has been corrupted, right?

So fix it.

How long could that take-- like what, two seconds?

What? 24 hours?

How am I supposed to finish my invention

without your verbal consultation?

Nonsense!

A scientist of my caliber cannot stoop

to such primitive and outdated forms of communication

like reading.

I must repair it myself.

[Grunts]

Ok, computer, how's that sound?

I just got in from Boston,

and boy, was it a hard drive.

[Rim shot and laughter]

Ha ha ha!

Whoa. This is even better than that old one.

Let's get to work.

Man's voice: Ooh, boy.

Kind of a small crowd tonight,

so I'll keep my set short.

[Rim shot]

Speaking of short:

Dexter is so short,

he wears elevator pants.

[Rim shot and laughter]

Ha ha. Very funny.

Great.

There. I hope that feels better.

Woman's voice: Oh, yes, Dexter. It feels wonderful.

Ha ha ha!

Yes, it does sound a little better, doesn't it?

Oh, yes.

Uh, well,

I guess I'll just get back to--

heh heh heh!

Chair.

Computer...

Could you retrieve the current figures

on the ratio of energy input

as compared to output?

Of course, Dexter.

It would be my pleasure

retrieving that information for you.

Atomic output is 664.1.

Solar output is 0039.

Nuclear output is 33,986.

Caloric output: 9.333.

Perspiratory output: 032.44

and rising.

[Water running]

Dexter...

Dexter? Dexter?

Dexter?

All right, let's try again.

Man's voice: Welcome to my new voice,

brought to you in highest-quality stereophonic sound.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds just fine.

Now, can we please just get back to work?

If you know the name of the project you'd like to work on,

press or say "1" now.

One.

If you'd like to choose from a list

of current projects,

press or say "2" now. One, one, one, one!

I'm sorry, but you

have exceeded the time limit.

One!

If you know the name of the project--

I'm sorry. That selection is not in the system.

Please try again now.

Ahem. One.

Enter now.

Oh, brother.

Enter the first 3 letters of the project now.

If the first 3 letters contain a "q" or a "z," press or say "pound" now.

All right, that better work,

because I'm not going all the way back in there again.

Dee Dee's voice: Hi, Dexter!

Man's voice: Let's get ready to wrennnch!

Aah!

[Computer speaking Spanish]

Mi casa es su casa.

¿Cuantos anos tienes tu?

¿Donde esta la biblioteca?

¿Que color es su pelo?

[Coughing]

Voice like Robin leach: The sprawling and palatious laboratory,

filled with the finest and most expensive scientific devices

known to man.

Behold this never-before-seen secret hideaway of knowledge:

A virtual scientific paradise of tubes and beakers galore,

literally acres and acres of priceless gadgets and doodads,

some of which not yet invented.

And what, might I ask, is the price tag

for this unimaginable opulence?

A whopping...

Woman's voice: Good morning, Dexter.

I have completed

the repairs on my voice chip

and am ready to return to work.

Dexter? Dexter?

What seems to be the trouble, Dexter?

Dexter: The end.

Ahh, what a great book.

I think I'll read it again,

just for old times' sake.

Dee Dee: ♪ la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ la la la la la la la la... ♪

Dee Dee, what are you doing?

Having fun.

What are you doing, Dexter?

Dee Dee...

When I am in this room,

whether I am typing,

or whatever it is you

hear happening down here-- heh heh heh--

what does it mean I am doing?

[Neigh]

Playing super pony?

No. It means I am working!

[Breathes heavily]

Dexter, you're miserable.

You really need to get out more.

Dee Dee, do not tell me who is mineral,

and the person who is need to get out is you.

Out of my laboratory!

You make me tear my hairs out.

[Ding] That's it!

Dex, you're a genius!

This is true many times over,

but why must i--

you just have to dye your hair blond.

My what?

Then you wouldn't be so miserable.

Do not touch me.

Come on, Dex,

everyone knows blondes have more fun.

Dee Dee, what makes you think

I need to have more fun,

when I already have this?

I don't know.

But you should try it anyway, Dex.

It's a proven fact.

See you.

I'm off to have more fun than you.

Impossible!

[Squeaking]

Now, if Dee Dee's theory is correct,

which, of course, it cannot be,

it is this blonde rat

which should be having

the most fun.

Hmm. We will see.

[Squeaking]

[Squeaking]

Ha! It is truly as I have suspected.

Dee Dee's theory about blondes having more fun

cannot possibly be--

[engine revving]

Be.

[Tires squeal]

[Motorcycling continues]

Additional testing is required.

Uhh...

[Ticking]

[Ringing]

11:30?

Oh, my gosh!

I must have, like, totally slept in.

Oh, well. Ha ha ha!

I feel great.

Time to comb my hair.

Oh, well.

Maybe I'll just do some more reading.

Aah!

This book is 3 hours overdue!

I've got to return it to the library immediately.

[Grunts]

This book is, like, so heavy.

Oh, I'll never get across.

Ugh.

There.

[Tires screeching]

Oh, no, no, no. After you.

Oh, heavens, no.

You have the right of way.

Please go right ahead.

Oh, don't be silly. You go.

Please. First.

What courteous drivers.

[Door opens]

Ohh. Yes?

Hello. I am sorry,

but this book is 3 1/2 hours overdue.

Really?

Well, there's going to have to be a...

You're all set.

Here's your card back.

Wow! Thanks.

This is turning out to be the most super fun day of my life.

After you.

Thanks.

Man: This one's on the house.

Dexter: Whee!

Man on P.A.: Two, one, zero...

[Crowd cheering]

[Machine beeping]

All: Yay!

[Gasp]

Ooh.

[Cheering]

Dexter: All right, kids.

See you next time. Whoo-hoo!

[Sigh]

I cannot remember the last time

I had so much, like, fun.

Hee hee hee!

Oh, Dexter!

Hee hee hee!

Hey, Dexter,

want to come out and play?

Dexter!

Why are you ignoring me?

[Music playing]

Oh. Hey, Dee Dee, come on in.

I don't know why,

but I never realized how much fun

ab-ercising was.

I know why, Dex.

Oh, you do, do you?

Yipe!

Dee Dee: It's because I dyed your hair blond

last night.

Dee Dee! You--

you...

Were absolutely right.

Blondesdo have more fun.

[Music plays]

♪ La la la la la la

♪ la la la la holiday

♪ la la la la la la

♪ la la la la holiday

♪ la la la la la la

♪ la la la la holiday

[Dog barking]

Mandark: Your weakness shows, oh lowly adversary.

Hmm. Where have I heard that line before?

Your skills are no match

for the powers of misery.

Where have I seen that move before?

It all seems so familiar.

Prepare to meet thy doom

by the hand of misery!

To be continued next month

in another action-packed battle.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

To be continued?

What is going on?

[Clock ticking]

Ehh. Ehh.

No. No.

[Muffled] In another action-packed battle.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[Gasp]

I know I have seen those fight moves before.

I must be losing my mind.

[Sigh]

To be continued next month

in another action-packed battle.

No way!

It cannot be.

I do not believe it.

More of the same fight moves and corny dialogue--

exactly

that lousy copycat mandark.

He's been cribbing off ofmister misery

ahem.

Well, I can play that game, too.

I will get the next issue ofmister misery

before mandark does,

and I will beat him at his own game.

Man: Let me get this straight.

You want to buy every copy

of the new mister misery

[low voice] Yes.

That is correct.

Um, I can't.

They don't go on the shelves--

ok. Ok.

Man: Uh, need a hand with that?

Dexter: No, thank you.

Hmm.

He should arrive at any moment

from his manhole of misery.

I wonder what is taking him so long.

He should have been here by now.

Wait.

What is this?

What is he doing?

That is not the way he shows up.

Leave it to mandark

to read a comic book wrong.

Well, at least say your lines.

Quack.

What?

That is not what he says.

What is going on here?

What is with all this quacking?

Quack. Quack. Quack.

None of this is in the book.

What in the--

quack. Quack. Quack. Quack.

Prepare to meet thy doom, opponent.

Quack! Quack! Quack!

What, is there a page missing or something here?

Stupid book!

Quack!

Aah!

What was that?

What is going on, mandark?

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

What is so funny?

Uh-oh.

[Coughing]

You did it all wrong, mandark.

I figured out

you were copying mister misery all along.

So I played your own game

against you.

[Yawning]

And then you have the nerve

not to even follow the dumb story.

Oh, and one other thing.

What is with all the stupid quacking?

Well, you see, Dexter,

I went to buy mister misery,

but the store was all sold out.

So I picked up a copy of

dangerous duck

and do you know why mister misery

was all sold out?

BecauseI bought them all.

Hmm. Well, then.

If you bought them all,

how did you expect me to know

all of mister misery's new fight moves, then?

Quack!

Man: Enter at your own peril,

past the bolted door,

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee

♪ blows his experiments

♪ to smithereens ♪

♪ there is gloom and doom while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--