Original subtitles

And I'm feeling the world is

mine.

The world, the world is mine.

Six weeks?

You can't.

I'll do it. I beat the stages.

Rugby team chatters.

Anything. But please, not the mail plane.

You don't understand. I won't survive.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to land in one of the most godforsaken pits

despair on this planet.

It is quite understandable if you're depressed.

And if you'd like to take this opportunity to end it all now, then feel

leave your tray tables and seat backs fluffing around with your baggage in the

aisle. Oh, and don't forget, unbuckle those seatbelts.

Cab and crew seats for landing.

I mean it this time, Will.

Fresh 001 Foxtrot, runway 3 left, you are clear to land. Runway 3 left clear

land, fresh 001 Foxtrot.

Engineering's advised us there's a problem.

The hold was broken again.

And?

The cargo can't get loaded.

So we're going to be stuck in the arse end of Europe while they fix it?

Make my night.

We're not stopping.

Delivery's coming into the cabin with security.

Needs an escort now. It's not in the hold.

People coming on here.

Real people.

Hello, Mr. Honky Security Guard.

I have a glad to see you.

Me well, you... Vladimir.

Now, Vladimir, that's a nice name.

Do you mind if I call you Vlad for short?

Oh, bad news.

What? Well, there's no real nice way of staying there.

Give it to me.

Come on, I can take it.

Please.

Oh, please.

I'll get the spray.

Don't, damn it.

No,

this is not for humans.

Oh, shit.

Where did it come from?

Oh! Those have been breeding there for days.

Oh, God.

Janice. Sorry, wait.

You're not still avoiding me.

What you did for Rachel... How do you mean?

Trying to smuggle her out. It was really brave.

Oh, um... How is she?

She's in prison.

Her parents have flown out, apparently.

Not that I've heard officially. I'm hardly their favorite person.

Anyway, um... It looks like this heap of tin is grounded.

The company says we can't carry passengers on a fleet of festive

Well, it's probably some grubby passenger that brought them on in the

place.

Extermination.

Just

for

washing. Yeah.

Andre? Oh, no, really, it's fine. I'm sure the fleas didn't get into my...

You think maybe you could turn around?

Turn?

Ladies

and

gentlemen, bonjour and welcome to Le Bourget, Gateway to Disneyland Paris.

I'm going to inform you that we have a slight delay on moving forward to our

stand, so please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened, and I will let you

know as soon as we can be on our way.

Thank you in advance for your patience. Au revoir.

I'm really sorry, but there's another aircraft on our stand, and we have to

for that to leave before we can get you all off. Will that be long?

Only some of them are going to need their medication.

Um, I can ask the captain to tell air traffic, but, well, maybe this will help

keep their minds off the wait.

OK,

three, two, one, set your times up.

Lovely. Is that your family?

Wow.

I'm very impressed.

Thank you.

I'm the best at drawing.

Oh, are you? Let's see then.

Harry, why don't you tell me about it?

Well, those ones are leukocytes, the white blood cells.

And them ones are the mutant cells.

Oh, that's lovely. I mean, it's not lovely, but... Well, it's very good.

Yeah.

They're so brave, aren't they? Sure.

Oh, you wouldn't catch me going on that Thunder Mountain. The Casey Jr.

rides about as much as I can manage.

I'm sure you've got some interesting thoughts,

Vlad, on summer temperatures in Moscow.

Any thoughts at all?

How

would

you like them fun, Vlad?

Oh! Oh!

You rang the lady?

Good news, we're picking up a repositioning crew.

Looks like you're going to get some company at last.

I've

been

in prison?

Hardly. Have you forgotten about Rachel?

God knows what she's going through.

She'll be fine.

You don't know that.

I can't get her out of my head. I feel like I'm steaming in there on some gung

-ho rescue mission.

Jim's going to stay out here with the aircraft.

The rest of us are being repositioned home.

I'm going to be flying covering for some Polish F .O. who wants to get off.

You'd better get dressed.

Johnny, I don't suppose I could...

How many years have you worked for the airline?

Four years.

And you forgot to bring a change of clothes.

I may as well have a rancid dog printed across my chest. Is that a topper hat?

Come on, again, why would you do this?

At least you can find another airline. I'm stuck here for the next 1 ,623 days,

thanks to Willow Bryant.

Evil coward, a little mincer. Hey, come on, guys.

Tell you what, she doesn't want to run into me down a dark alley.

You. Ladies and gentlemen, you'll be delighted to hear that we've finally

given clearance to move to our stand.

So we'll have you out of gear and on your coaches to Disneyland Paris before

can say Magic Kingdom.

He got on the plane all right, so I must have had it then.

Not necessarily.

You see, what could happen with the groups is dispatch will get a bundle of

passports. They might not check each one individually.

What are we going to do?

Your best chance is to try and catch the others up and go through with them.

Just hope they don't check this end either.

Oh, but Perry, don't worry.

This happens all the time.

Come on, let's go.

That's ground staff's job. Yeah, but they're busy with the other kiddies.

Lorna, Lorna.

I have a table booked at Chateau de la Rose in 40 minutes just you and me. The

best creme brulee in Europe.

I practically had to promise my firstborn just to get a reservation.

Just how? I have to wait. It's all right.

No, there's no answer. Which means I think everyone's gone home for the

You're going to have to stay outside till the morning, I'm afraid.

Oh.

Perry, love.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

We'll get on to them first thing. We'll get you to Disney as fast as we can.

That's kind of you, but I'm afraid we've got to get Perry back to hospital by

tomorrow night.

No roller coasters?

I'm afraid not.

This is awful.

Well, I did go on a plane.

Fine, then.

Well, we'll see you in the morning.

We have a booking, you see.

You have a good time. Thank you.

Nigel, can I have a word?

We can't let them sleep on a bench all night.

No, it's fine. The customs guy said they could stay in the illegal immigrant

room. A cell?

It's a bed, isn't it?

And I've got hold of a chateau, and I'm prepared to hold the table, but only for

half an hour.

You put creme brulee...

Before helping a dying child?

Don't you dare look at them in that way.

It's just that I'm not very good with... With what?

Sick kiddies?

Perry is eight years old and he is dying.

Now, if you can't give up one evening to make his life a little bit better, then

you are not the man that I thought you were.

Next stop, Warsaw in 40 minutes, then London, or to get in around 5am.

It'll be nice to catch up.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you know she was the captain?

Yeah, and?

You didn't say so.

Unless you have to spend any time with me.

Look, Lee, my life is complicated enough without this, OK?

I know we need to talk, but now is not the time.

You are allowed to talk, you know.

We're going to be up here together for the next six hours, all told.

Maybe I can help.

My ex is in prison in Bahrain.

If I treated her better, she probably wouldn't have quit the country in the

first place.

In fact, if she'd never met me, she'd still be married, rolling in money, and

four months pregnant.

As for Leanne, I don't know. If she feels bad, I feel bad.

We've barely spoken in days, and flying with you doesn't help.

It was a one -off, not something to feel guilty about.

Okay, folks, I've got some mini -vodkas and some Campari. Who's going to have

what?

Come on, you're going to have to speak to me sometime.

No. I don't. Well, what's it going to take? Poppy's already forgiven me.

Don't you talk to me about Poppy or I don't even mention her name. In fact,

don't talk to me. Come on. I'm warning you. Don't you think you've been a

bit... I said shut up.

Unreasonable.

Son of a... You're unreasonable.

You get the fuck... What the fuck?

Hey! What are you doing with my back?

He speaks English.

You speak English? Why didn't you tell me?

Look at what you have done.

It was an accident.

It was me. It was me.

You? I'm losing my job because of you.

They will think I tried to steal the money.

It's your fault.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

You're not going to get into trouble, all right?

Everyone on this plane will say there was some sort of turbulence and a bag

on it.

Okay? No one's to blame.

Now just chill out.

You're very good.

My hobby also.

No way, that's my cover. No way.

You must be autographing for me.

You will not believe me, Jim, that I met you.

Vladimir Kordakovsky.

Ed Russell.

Okay. Turbulence, you say.

Important is to put all money back.

They will never know.

Mate, they're going to notice.

It's pink.

His old money is being destroyed.

As long as the sack is right weight, they won't know.

It's being destroyed.

Destroyed?

Destroyed.

450 ,000 pounds.

That's much than those two bags.

I want two.

And?

And it's going to be burned.

Is this heading where I think it is?

Why not?

I can't do it without your help.

Come on.

Aren't you just a wee bit tempted?

He's going to have to be quick. Okay, how much are we talking about?

450 ,000, cut six ways, 75 grand each.

Okay, that's my debt taken care of and the rest, shit.

All right, how do we do it? Double up the aircraft, murder the pole?

Done! Well, that's a lot of money.

I'm not having anything to do with this.

You don't know what it's like to be up against a magistrate.

Think you're going to jail, losing your child.

Shh!

Fine, don't help. All the better for us when we have to split the money five

points. Uh -uh. She gets her share for not crossing this. Yeah, well, at the

moment, unless we can figure these out, there isn't going to be any money to

share. Can we have a look at that thing?

It's a magnet sensor.

Well, at least I think it is. Like in clothes shops.

Pretty basic security.

You'll need an electromagnet. Hold it near the back and ping, out comes the

and disable the device.

Look, I really have to go. There is one flaw in the plan.

I left my electromagnet at home.

Silly me.

So, make one.

First of all, you need a screw or a nail.

Trolley screw.

Duh. I think you'll find it screwed into the trolley.

I didn't think we wanted anything to do with this.

Duh, just saying.

I'm busy.

Still busy.

Then you need some sort of battery.

And then you need

wire. Wire.

Here,

take this to bits. The wire will be perfect.

This is topsy -turvy.

Why doesn't she just take her top off as well while she's at it and give him a

fucking floor show? Shh!

Do you do kicks?

Babes, now is not the time, okay?

Mr. McCulloch?

Oh. I offered you some wine, but, well, then I remembered.

Remembered what?

About you being a nun and that.

Look, this will cheer it up.

You're not at all what I thought a nun would be like.

What were you expecting?

Julie Andrews?

I don't know, really.

How do you cure a nun with hiccups?

Tell her she's pregnant.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

Actually, I've got something to show you.

Stand up.

Close your eyes.

Why?

Why?

Shut.

Shut.

And... Open your eyes.

How would you like to be my first officer for the evening?

Call. Take the light and sleep.

All right?

Now, Lorna's going to get us pilots onto E .T .3 while I show you how this thing

flies.

Nigel, this is amazing.

Not about earlier.

I'm sorry, okay?

You were right.

I was being a prick.

Thank you so much.

We haven't got time.

Sister!

I'm going to need you to be known as number two, all right?

Aye, aye, Captain.

Keep cracking.

OK, young man.

Pop hold of that and squeeze the titian on the side.

Now repeat after me.

Cabin crew.

Cabin crew.

Seats for take -off.

Seats for take -off.

Excellent. Put it back.

Put your head fiddle.

Step one, magnet completed.

Now to step two.

We need to keep that out of the way.

One of us is going to have to shag him.

I'd love to do it. I don't think he likes me somehow.

Don't look at me.

Janice.

I think we have a much more effective weapon.

There's two undamaged sacks out there. Three million zloty, 450 ,000 pounds.

Everybody's in on it. 75 grand each.

No way.

Listen, Ed, we are going to do the job.

All I am asking you to do is whatever it is you're doing out there in here with

the curtain drawn.

I'm sorry. No.

Can you cover this?

Blunt, mate, leave it out. Go on.

Do you reckon I can't cover this?

Or are you just chicken?

Hey!

Vlad?

Vlad, mate, are you all right?

There. That wasn't too difficult.

I didn't mean to do it.

Well, you're in now.

Guard him. Let me know when he comes round.

Right, we're on.

We're on.

I'll lead you to it.

Look, we've started the ascent. We're on the ground in 20.

Better get on then.

You're a lucky man, you know.

Blown at the dial.

I guess.

Guess nothing.

If it were me, I'd be on the knees thanking my Lord for my good fortune.

You're bleeding.

Oh, God, I should never have been swinging you round like that, sister.

Oh, don't worry.

No need to be alarmed. You get them all the time.

If it's a big one, I have to have my blood count checked, but this is only a

little one.

I can bleed buckets, Captain.

My mum says I've been through every towel and a half.

Well, perhaps it's time we got him settled.

Right, um... They've made up a room in the terminal building.

It's functional, but it's OK.

I want to sleep in the captain's chair.

Why not?

Seems that's where pilots are supposed to sit.

Okay, then.

Let's go through.

And it's time we cleaned those wiggles.

No, I don't want to.

Captain, I may need your help one last time.

He's normally as good as gold about these.

He went out as a brave boy.

How are you doing, Captain Perry?

I thought I was just first officer.

I promoted you.

Because you've done so well.

Which means you get to keep the cab.

Permanently.

Really?

And as captain, it means you're in charge of the whole ship.

It's not a ship.

Sometimes we call it one.

Sometimes I call my wigglies names.

I'm going to call this one Captain Croker.

Say hello to Captain Croker, Captain Croker.

Hello, Captain Cro... Right, it happens a lot.

Just have to remember to treat Captain Croker gently.

Right.

It's time to go to sleep now.

Yes, again, fine.

Just keep talking, he'll drop off.

Right.

I used to take my son flying when he was about your age.

In a Cessna.

Single prop.

What was his name?

His name's Simon.

Just him and me up there in the sky.

That's what's wonderful about flying. It's so... so peaceful.

Being up there above the world.

And the look on his face when he took the controls.

Best time of my life.

It's okay, Captain.

Is he asleep?

Excuse me.

Are you okay?

Yes, same.

That's it.

That's a lot. Fresh 003 Foxtrot, runway two right. You are clear to land.

Shit, don't we fly around for a bit?

Don't be daft.

Runway two right, clear to land. Fresh 003 Foxtrot.

Dan, get in here, please.

Right, we need to start pulling in Fox and keeping them exactly the same

Get a move on. We are really tight on time now.

I'll give you a hand.

I don't want to be involved.

Well, you're not going to have time to do this on your own, are you?

Gloves.

Hey!

He's coming around.

It's all right.

I'm here now.

You've had a very nasty bandit ahead.

No, no, no, no. Stay still.

Stay still.

Go help the others.

Look, I told you before, I'm not getting involved.

You see your friends get done?

No, I ain't no friend of mine.

Ed, if we get caught, you think you're going to walk away from all that?

Now go pack those boxes.

What are you doing?

We're making a box. He's way the same as we did when the money was in. You can't

tamper with the mail.

Oh,

fucking droid.

Edward, in case you hadn't noticed, we're in the middle of a robbery right

and a few bits of stolen mail is not going to make a difference.

Wait.

What about you, Z?

Please.

Perfect.

We're not doing anything to help you, all right? But if you go down, then,

see any way of me getting up.

I really need you to just stay still for me, yeah? No.

Sorry, I'll get you some water, yeah?

We should sit down.

No, no, listen to me.

How's it now?

It's not a minute through.

What do you mean?

He's a body lifter, isn't he? I feel the difference.

Well, I'll get myself into this.

It was a pleasure flying with you, sir.

Thank you.

Bye.

All right, yeah, mate.

Nice one.

Thank God for that.

We land

in London

in just under an hour.

Take a look.

So, we've developed 26 piles, written our crew bags, and by the time we land

London, we'll be wiser.

I'm Richard.

Actually, I think it would be a bad idea to try and move the money off the

aircraft tonight.

Why?

If Flag gets caught, they will be on to us the second we step off the aircraft,

and if we've got bags of stuff full of cash, we're going to have some serious

explaining to do. Well, everyone has explaining to do anyway. I just think

a sensible precaution. That's a good idea. Yeah, I agree.

Okay, we hide it, we walk off tonight, we come back for the next trip.

We'd better get back.

Take a look at the swag, people.

Next time we see this money, we'll be putting it in our pockets.

Right. I don't even know where to hide it.

Do the seat covers come off?

Inside the life jacket.

I'll go to the toilet.

I'll do that.

Just take a leak.

Behind the waistband. I pulled it out.

Just the horn bundle?

Uh -huh.

They're on the trolleys and in the panels.

The red tape in this country.

Bloody ridiculous.

Couldn't he have been without a parcel?

With no record in London, baby, what were they supposed to do?

They were supposed to let him into Disneyland.

Not as if he's our bloody car, either.

He had fun yesterday.

He really made his night, you know.

Oh, the little bugger.

Oh, dear.

Yes, oh, dear.

Now, are you going to help me? Because the first officer's going to be here in

minute.

Calm down.

Calm down.

What a fresh kind of thing when they find out to turn one of their 737s into

amusement park.

Kids.

Bloody nightmare.

Right. In addition to the £450 ,000 hidden on Golf Zulu, otherwise known as

Flight FA435 to Faro, we have one wheelchair passenger.

No other flight notes?

But I hope you've all remembered to bring empty suitcases.

Please, Lord.

Let this work.

I so deserve it.

So far, so good.

Aerocraft Golf Zulu on stand 8.

Let's do it then.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, some bad news, I'm afraid.

This aircraft does have a technical fault and will not be flying today.

But the good news is that we do have another aircraft ready and waiting for

over on stand 8.

We can get you transferred as quickly as possible at every chance we make our

stop and you won't be delayed.

Thank you.

Would you look at that? One giant, flying money book.

Thanks to your brilliant cooperation, we're now on schedule for departure.

Please make sure that your seatbelts are securely fastened in your tray tables

and seats in an upright position.

Hold on, that's us!

It's been switched.

You're going back on stand six.

Wait! You can't do this!

Shit, it's leaving without it!

It could be worse.

How? We're stuck on a flight to Faroe and the money's making its way to

We're all going to get arrested. Fuck!

Why did I agree to this?

Everybody just calm down.

When we get back to London tonight, we'll go onto the aircraft and we'll get

money then.

Nothing to panic about.

If the money hasn't been found so far, it's not going to be found now.

That's one pound, please.

Thank you.

Oh, dear.

Oh, she can't sit on that. It's wet through.

Look, why don't you go and take a seat at the back?

Elaine, do you mind?

Thank you.

You waited.

There's something really weird going on.

Zloty. Polish.

Where did you get those?

They're everywhere.

Under the seat covers.

A passenger's book was used and I had to change it.

Then he wanted the life jacket. When I went to get a spare, they were all in

there too.

And there's more like this, you say?

Bloody Nora.

How much have we got?

I don't know. I keep losing count.

There must be a couple of hundred grand at least.

We can live in the Chateau de la Rose forever. We can order creme brulee

whenever we want it.

We can't just keep it.

Why, what do you want to do with it?

Hand it in, of course.

Well, why should the airline get their money -grubbing, cost -cutting hands on

it? Because, Nigel, it's their aircraft.

Sweetheart, they leave most of the fleet.

I mean, this aircraft was probably owned by some Polish airline before Fresh

ever got it.

It doesn't seem like just taking it.

Isn't that stealing?

No, it's pennies from fucking heaven. Ignite your language.

For heaven's sake. How often do you find a quarter of a million in an overhead

locker?

Well, I found it.

And they say finders keepers. In which case, can I please marry you for your

money?

I've got an even better idea.

Is Sister Mary Catherine here? I'm afraid not.

I wanted to make a donation.

Nigel.

Please can I leave this with you?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Goodness!

Thank you, my child.

My pleasure.

There. Don't you feel better now?

I don't believe I let you do that.

Well, it's the right thing.

Just think of all the sick kiddies that get to see Mickey Mouse just because of

us.

You're... I don't know what you are.

Come on.

Thanks, bye -bye. Thank you as well, thank you. Bye -bye now. Bye.

OK, Robbins, just check. Golf Zulu is on stand eight.

Right, let's go.

My name's a shoddy shit.

Leanne, you've got the list?

OK, um, it's evens for the life jackets and odds for the seat covers.

Right, let's go. OK.

You sure it's off?

Yeah, I think it's here.

What the fuck?

Nothing in there either.

What?

It's gone.

Another stuffy stash in the galley. Are you sure this is the right aircraft?

This is crazy.

Where is it? Why aren't we in prison?

I don't think whoever took it handed it in. Oh, well, bully for them.

We should have taken off this plane when we had the chance. Were we stopped and

searched? No, we weren't. But we all agreed, didn't we?

This is your fault.

Cheers, mate.

Thanks a fucking bunch for losing us all 75 grand each.

We could have put it in our pockets and walked off this plane. But no, you had a

better idea.

Don't blame him. It made sense at the time.

How was he to know? Why are you defending him?

It was an adventure.

We gambled, we lost. Nothing we can do about it. Well, it's easy for you to say

when you earn 90 grand a year. I needed that money.

It's like six years' wages for me. Oh, come on. You didn't even want to do the

scam in the first place.

What the fuck's that got to do with anything? OK, calm down, Lee.

Fine. I'll do that.

Lee!

You're up.

Drinks are on me.

Can't. I'm still on hers.

And we're already leaked.

Hey.

How about you then, stud?

Yeah, all right. Why not?

To be honest, I think I'm losing it.

I'm scared.

I hope I am.

There's not much more of this I can take.

Of the world.