Original subtitles

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Christ, I am so bored.

Your correspondent.

Do me a favour.

Go. You were Leanne Evans' client today.

First of all... Ah, she'll be night stopping.

Perfect. It's been too long since I've had a night down route.

What on earth?

It's a freak central.

Yep. Full of nothing.

Sorry,

I couldn't resist.

Do you think you'd fit under any of that?

No need to stand to attention when you see me. Matt and Claude's unique.

Babes, what are you doing here?

Spying on us. That's what management does. Yes, officially, I was sent here

assess you.

But I got so bored of sitting in that office, I just had to escape.

Hey!

16C, by the back galley. Any nuts we can store away for you?

Oh, isn't it cute?

Someone make sure he can do his seatbelt up over that suit.

You're in the bloody community.

Don't be such a... I think I closed the door about five minutes ago.

Ladies, gentlemen and giant furry animals, our flying time to Brussels

one hour and ten minutes, which is just enough time for us to flog you some

overpriced eats and drinks.

Anything from the druddies, sir?

Scotch and soda, please.

Hello, I'm Lorna Newbold, and I'm Poppy Fields.

Chester Nuts, a .k .a. Warren Perlman. And this, well, it is a long story.

Oh, please, till everyone so wants to know. Yeah.

Well, I was on the tube one day going into work, same as I'd done for the last

ten years to a job that I hated, when this bloke left this book on the seat

to me, the dice mat.

So I picked it up.

By the time I got off, I was hooked.

And I said to myself, if I throw an even, well, I'll go to work as normal.

But if I throw an odd, I'd quit work and live by the dice for six months.

I threw a five.

That is so cool.

But how does it work?

One, leave the wife.

Two, swim the Thames at Greenwich.

Three, take a flight to Brussels dressed as a superhero.

Well, I wanted to be Superman, but this was the only costume that fitted.

What was Nick on about back there,

ladies, gentlemen and furry animals?

Some guy dressed in a squirrel costume.

Why? The dice told him to.

Hey, it's the dice man.

OK, well, I've read that book.

Every decision that he's faced with, dice make it for him. Whatever you

That's what you do.

You'd leave your wife.

You rank that with lying in a field.

Pretty much over, anyway.

She's having an affair.

Oh, poor you.

I know what that's like.

Here. Have the champagne.

See? Good things come to those that take a chance.

What sort of agricultural bollocks is that? You're having a midlife crisis.

Well, he'd be about your age.

It's not such a daft idea. I mean, how much control do we have? We fly here and

there because a computer somewhere tells us to.

And how much living do we actually do? All we ever see is the inside of hotel

rooms.

When was the last time that any of us took a chance?

Wise old owl.

What?

I'm sorry to bother you, but has anybody got a guidebook of Brussels? Come out

with us when he's treating us to dinner.

Yeah, we'd love to hear more about how the whole dice thing works.

Wicked. Where are we going?

Chicantoril. If it's on expenses, it's got to be good. I've heard it's got a

Michelin star.

Are they going to let Warren in dressed like that?

Well, he could change out the suit.

I mean, he did bring something else, didn't he?

I've got to keep this on till midnight.

That's when this whole thing stops.

I doubt if any of us have got the right wardrobe for a Michelin star. Why don't

we just...

Pizza at Enzo's and then hit the clubs?

Why don't we roll for it?

Evens, we go to Willow's place.

Odds, pizza and clubbing.

Obviously, sure.

Odds! Yay!

Hey,

do you want to come to Enzo's with Justin up here? They've heard all about

dive adventures.

Do you want to come?

I can't. I've got to meet a mate of mine.

He works for the EU, going through a bit of a crisis.

Another time?

Yeah.

That's him.

New age bollocks at a pizza joint.

Brilliant.

To the die. And all those who believe.

The dice.

The dice. The dice.

Tell me something.

How the hell can you leave your job and just do dull things all day long?

Because how do we know what we want if we don't try?

I bet each of you does the same stuff week after week, month after month,

to the same places.

Seeing the same people?

Stuck in a rut.

He's right, you know. Well, look.

Look at it.

Look. And this.

Look. I'm always travelling in hope.

Do you ever get to meet anybody new? No. I don't ever get to see a gay boy.

Oi, we're not all gay, Sunshine.

Since I lost Frank.

It's been the driest summer on record.

Look, why don't you try this? You look like someone who's not entirely happy

with his life.

Well, that's where you're wrong, because actually I just got a very big

promotion. Yeah, more money, nice car, expensive car, blah, blah, blah. Yeah,

and that's what's paying for all this, by the way, and it didn't happen by

chance. Talent and hard work, that's what gets you what you want in life.

Well, if the limit of your ambition is a company car... Come

with us.

You're feeling knackered.

Got a couple of grand with me?

No, thanks.

I have a big day tomorrow.

Major strategy meeting.

Right, come on, Captain. Let's get back to the hotel.

I think I might venture down the club as well and have a quick bop with the

kids. Fine.

Suit yourselves.

Oops.

Didn't mean it like that. Just, it's a novelty.

Birds love that.

Something to be said for the dice if it has this effect on you pulling power.

Come on, you two, come and dance.

I'm not dancing to this. It doesn't even qualify as music.

Well, that's very silly. Come on.

No, thank you.

Old mate from the EU?

Yeah.

Old mate of Rachel's too, yeah?

Now's not a good time. It's never a good time with you, is it?

Have a good night, yeah?

Leanne, wait.

You didn't waste any time, did you? You know what really eats out of my

business? She's a client.

My first.

I should have told you, but I was embarrassed.

I need money.

Chillingford's not an option anymore, so I joined this agency.

It's got links all over Europe. British women.

working abroad in a new company at corporate events.

And do things like that include laying back and thinking of England?

No, no, just dinner, drinks, making sure she gets home safely.

Then you'd better get back.

She won't appreciate you talking to me on her time.

You don't... think badly of me for it.

I'm not there.

time I was going.

Oh, no, you can't go. That's a lie.

Donna, I'd like you to have the dice.

Why? Why?

Because I think you deserve it.

I think you'd make the most of it.

You've got such a lovely, open approach to life. Don't ever, ever lose that.

I'm sure the rain will fall soon.

Do you know?

If only I was 15 years younger.

But you're not old.

It wouldn't be right.

See, when you start to die, you have to start fresh.

Well, bye, Lorna.

Have a great life.

We can go straight to bed, or we can jump in the fountain, or we can find

all -night breakfast.

What time do you call this?

Keeping the juniors out all night.

How are they supposed to do their work properly? They're not the juniors,

they're adults.

And they're perfectly able to decide what time to go to bed.

You're high.

So? Well, that's not quite... Have you been giving Bobby any of that stuff? No.

Ladies, perhaps you should get on with today's.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Missed being the life and soul of the party.

Or maybe you just missed me.

Is that it? That never came back for seconds?

Not my style.

What happens, happens.

Then you move on.

What part of the great randomness? Why?

Yeah. Finish this up. Might loosen you up a bit.

Does anyone want to add anything else to the agenda?

Yes, I have three words for you. Random drugs testing.

Are you suggesting that this airline has a problem with drugs?

It's the 21st century. What organization doesn't? Yeah, well, if we do, I don't

want to know about it. The scandal will probably kill us.

Not even if it's going to save you millions of pounds?

How? You said you wanted ideas for making job cutbacks without paying any

compensation.

Drug use comes under the heading of gross misconduct.

Instant dismissal.

That's true.

Another great idea, Will.

You'd get right on it.

All setting had to be done at the press centre.

Strictly confidential.

We'll have to call you back.

Right, we'll go out to PEC 20, start from the top.

025 -026, London, Thessaloniki, London.

Who's crew?

Maybe you boys have got some ideas.

What about?

Well, I've advertised the whole 24 hours, and I still can't think of a

exciting decision to make.

I've even tried writing a list, but my mind keeps going blank.

No change there, then.

Let's see the list.

OK, one, meet a nice man.

Two, make a difference to the world.

Yeah, you know, I think you need to be a bit more specific.

It says here you want to meet someone.

Now, the question for the dive is how?

You know, personal ads, I don't know, speed dating, maybe?

That is a really, really good idea.

I tell you what, if I throw that one, will you two come with me? I'd rather

my right arm off.

Well, at least she's trying to make her life more interesting.

Are you suggesting mine isn't?

If I have to listen to your tired RAF stories one more time, or watch you

fretting over another crossword, or the latest sad tart that you're trying to

bang, I'm going to be biting off my right arm.

Lorna, would you cover for me?

Sure.

Are you still mad at me about the escort thing?

I'm not mad.

Like I said last night, it's none of my business.

You know what, let's not do the same old Dan and Leanne sniper one another

routine. Lorna has the right idea. Let's do something completely different for a

change.

What do you mean?

Not Ted Olenike. He'll be back too late anyway. Next.

Istanbul. Janice Steele, Jackie Randall. Yes, test it. Poppyfield.

No, change my mind. Cross it off.

I thought these tests were supposed to be random.

Newcastle, Amsterdam, London.

Yes. Edinburgh, four sectors. Yes.

Paris, four sectors.

Yes. Aha.

Ed Russell, Dexter Brown, Nick Adcock -Purser. Yes. Test it.

Wish I was coming with you today. I've got steel balls and Istanbul.

Well, let's see what the dice have to say about that.

I couldn't want this for a sec, could I, guys?

Dexter, how do you fancy swapping me, Poppy?

She does Paris and you do Istanbul.

With Janice?

I'll make it worth you while.

If I throw a one, I'll give you 20 quid. If I throw a two, I'll double it. You

don't have to do that.

I want to.

If I throw a three, I'll treble it. You get the idea?

Yeah, come on.

Fine, 80 quid.

I haven't got a couple of 20s you can lend me, have you?

Oi, we're doing all the prep here. What are you doing?

Giving us some options for in -flight entertainment.

One, drink the trolley dry.

He's been diced, man.

Two, go commander.

Actually, I already am. I was thinking about you two.

Three, serve breakfast pastries with my dick in the box. You've lost the plot,

mate. Four, piss in the flight deck. Drink.

Five, throw a thick and stained parrot. Oh, six, all available.

Come on, you roll.

You want any pastries?

Yes, you get them now.

Pastry, madam.

Right, pastry, madam.

Can I interest you in a muffin, sir?

Lee? Hmm?

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

Bloody hippies.

Someone should take him out and shoot the lot of them.

What's happened?

Oh, there's a protest, apparently, about the runway extension.

Police think they might try to break through the perimeter fence, so they're

going to let us take off.

For how long?

IBD. Indefinite bloody delay.

Save Xanthos Beach and stop the runway expansion.

They've got seven different species of rare bird.

And wildflowers. Why don't we all go see it?

Because we're not allowed out of the airport.

The airport closes at seven.

They're not going to kill the protesters by then. The people have information

that they've chained themselves to the fence.

We're here for the night.

I know.

We'll let the dice decide.

We're not that bollocks again.

Evens we go, odds we stay and help the captain with his crossword.

Well, I'm going anyway.

What about you, Leanne? Do you fancy a walk on the beach?

Yeah.

Oh, goody.

An adventure.

Come on, Captain.

Come see all by yourself.

We're all going to get sunstroke. It must be 40 degrees.

Take your shirt off and put it over your head.

Dwayne, dip it in the sea to cool off when you get there.

Yeah, it's a good plan.

Go on then.

Wow, you could leave your shirt more often.

Thank you, Docky.

Thank you, Cha.

Most of all.

I'll handle it.

Yeah, that's one way to get us hungry on a quarter.

English.

Why are you here?

We were at the airport.

We worked for an airline.

A very small airline.

We got your leaflet and we wanted to come and see for ourselves and show you

out the port.

Come.

That's all we've got left.

Going over the top again.

Wish me luck.

Donuts or muffins?

A donut, that's a pound, please.

Oh, my God, Jimmy, look!

What?

I do apologise for my colleague. Can you please let go of the box?

Is that what I think it is? No!

It was a dash! Shut up! You're taking a fucking piss!

Jimmy, let me get in!

Calm down, calm down.

Nick!

If you like, you buy, or we have these.

We also have hash brownies, completely organic, we make them ourselves.

It's your call, nice woman.

Oh, I'm in this phase of trying new things and opening myself up to new

experiences.

But all I care about is raising my favourite speech.

If you're buying, you're helping.

I wanted to make a difference to the world, didn't I say that?

You did. And now I can. Yeah.

Right, how much?

Forty quid.

For a quarter?

An eighth.

Okay, that's daylight robbery.

No, no.

Don't. Call it a conservation surgery.

Evens we buy and odds we don't.

Do you take checks?

By way of an apology.

My wife prefers Chanel.

Come on, love.

We won't be flying to your airline again.

Yeah, good riddance. Oi, only one more word I want to hear out of your mouth

now. Sorry.

It wasn't... I'll bloody well eat you myself. Sorry!

Ah! Sorry.

It's still bleeding. You can't wait like this.

Yeah, it's going to need stitches.

Look, you get off your passenger back.

I can't leave you two. Who's going to first? Me and Poppy will manage.

All right?

All right, tell the flight then.

Got a bit carried away.

I'm sorry.

Don't leave us alone.

Oh.

Don't want to risk taking that back through customs.

Have it. Flush it.

What you want.

If they will be apprehended as they collect their flights and escort you to

briefing room, they will wait to be tested.

Briefing room might be a bit small.

I've taken the liberty of adding one or two flights to the ones you've selected.

What? Rome, Nicosia, Munich, Helsinki, Thessaloniki, if they get back tonight.

Random. Does not mean flights my friends and flatmates are on.

Don't they?

Precisely. The union's bound to kick up a stink about what we're doing.

If our selection process isn't completely unbiased, we won't get away

Surely there's something... The boss has no friends, Will.

It's something you're going to have to get used to.

Hi, it's Leanne Evans.

Tom!

Lee, this is Will. Look, it's urgent.

If your flight becomes unblocked and you or Lorna have taken anything, you

shouldn't have anything at all, do not fly home.

Call me.

Enjoy.

Come on, tuck in.

It'd be rude not to, after she's spent every penny.

Forty quid?

That better.

Captain? Uh, no thanks.

Come on, don't be such an old square.

I've had just as many drugs as you have in my day.

Black and black, eh, Captain?

Moroccan gold, actually.

Ah, those are the days.

Try it.

I think you'll enjoy it.

The airport will be closed by now.

We're here for the night.

Oh, what the hell.

Just one take.

Afraid you can't go in there.

Why not?

At last, some union representation.

What's going on?

You don't know.

They're drugs testing us.

Pulling people in as they come off flight. They won't let us call anyone.

They're making us pee in front of them. There's no privacy.

Can they do this?

I really don't know.

Nick?

What are you doing here? The two of you can't be back already. I had an

accident. I had to passenger back on Ryanair.

Yes, we can join this batch of tissue later, will you? No way.

It's compulsory.

Have you taken anything for that?

Yeah, they gave me some painkillers in Paris when they do the stitches.

Why? That would void any results.

Miss Lightfoot, what's going on? You can't invade people's privacy like this.

I'm sorry, I have a meeting to go to. If you have any concerns, please address

them to Will.

It's his initiative.

Yours?

You set this up just to get back at me?

I can't do that again. I'll fucking hurt you.

How many?

What? How many people have you tested?

I don't know. I've been 40 or 50.

I tried to avoid anybody I knew had a problem, but then she came along and she

added all these fleets to the list.

You are the biggest prick I've ever known. And when this is finished, I will

probably kill you.

But right now, all I'm concerned about is saving my members' jobs.

I don't think you can.

The CA are going in, Sister Sack. Even if the airline doesn't, it's a safety

issue. Then we're going to have to stop them from being crested in the first

place. Which flights haven't set off yet?

Leanne Evans.

Lorna Newbold.

It's not the minute you worry about.

They were stuck in Greece overnight.

I can't find Poppy. She was supposed to be in Istanbul.

Poppy's on my sectors. I switched her.

She hasn't taken anything, right?

I don't know.

Where are we going? Anywhere that an activist and a croaker arguing the

of protest is a bunch of Marxists.

And anywhere that we can finish what we started this morning.

I'm not waking out with you on a beat.

Why not?

Where else are you going to find a more romantic spot?

Think of a better reflection than reality.

Don't stand in the wrong places.

And this morning, to the contrary, I don't do pilots.

Well, is this a new rule that you're applying especially to me? I mean,

had affairs with pilots before.

Yeah, and it went hideously wrong.

Well, I'll be the exception that proves the rule.

You know your ex is a friend and a flatmate of mine?

Been there, done that. It's bizarre stuff.

I was a small matter of few being a mayor at Epcot.

I knew you didn't.

Just too much bagging.

Never gonna want it.

Do you want it?

Sorry. Okay.

Okay.

We'll just lie back and enjoy the scenery.

Loving each other.

Oh, look, I got you some tea.

I could really do with something cold. I'm burning up here.

Tea's very refreshing. Mum always did so. And besides, Tracy made it

What the hell?

He said it had mushrooms in it.

Magic mushrooms.

I don't know.

Well, can this get any worse?

Is that yours?

No.

Croco.

You cannot be serious.

Right.

They've moved the procession home.

They've reopened the airport.

Yeah, I know. I heard.

You and your bloody dice.

Stupid bloody bitch.

We're all going to get sacked because of you.

Well, come on.

Goodbye. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Madeline.

You OK?

You've been brilliant.

Well, I've been dreaming of dinner and bed and all the nice things you promised

me.

Thanks for looking after me.

And not just... You don't have to thank me. I want to.

208, which stand did you see it was on?

Six, Charlie.

What are you going to do? No idea.

Copy field, Ed Russell.

Yes. No, not this one.

You've got the wrong plate.

I'll take care of this.

CAA regulations, routine drug test.

Would you two come with us, please?

You better prepare for the Thessaloniki fight.

Apparently they're coming home after all.

Okay, guys.

Walk the line.

Not quite as stoned as I thought.

Okay, Nigel.

Your turn.

You're not seriously suggesting we fly in this state, are you? I'll fly. I feel

fine. Well, you had just as many of those joints as I did. Well, obviously I

hold it better.

I wasn't dark enough to drink shroom tea on top of it. Look, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.

Yes, it bloody is. You and your half -baked hippie bloody dice. Will you stop

having a go at her? Will you stop telling me what to do? God, I'm itching

hurt you, Nigel. Well, come on, then.

Ow! Ow!

Oh,

my God!

Enough!

Dick, stop the tables!

We've got two hours before we've got to fly. We'll do what we can to sober you

up. And if it doesn't work, then we'll cancel.

Fine.

My turn.

It's on.

Coffee. Hot, strong, sweet.

Don't wake up.

I've got these from the chemist at the airport.

They'll take all of them, shall we?

Sign, please.

We want it recorded that this is being done under duress.

She's been on antidepressants. Her brother was killed last month working

this airline.

You're going to test positive, aren't you?

I was so tired, it was only a tiny bit.

Oh, you bastard.

Blame him.

He's the one who's failed the test.

Fifty jobs at risk, all of us who could just get even with me.

Please don't fight. I'll talk to stuff no -one else is to blame.

No -one?

Or everyone?

We've been crap friends to you, Poppy.

All of us.

Well, FA026 is making its final approach.

Stand 7, Charlie.

I want a lawyer present.

This is a complete infringement of my civil rights. The company is well within

its rights and drug taking is a safety issue which overrides the right to

privacy.

I left your message in your phone about your new rosters. Did you get them?

You know I don't check my voicemail down the road. It's too expensive.

But I guess I'm going to pay for it now.

Yeah, I don't...

It really isn't your fault.

We're all grown -ups. We chose to do what we did.

Yeah, if they sack us, well, it's been a fun ride.

Life goes on, right?

How can you say that?

You've got a mortgage and a little boy to support.

No.

I'm going to hand my resignation to Stella, and I'm going to tell her why

all tested positive.

It might help you all.

Lorna!

Let's wait until that lady sings, okay?

Will, we have the results.

I'd like you to announce them.

Again?

I know it's difficult, but this was your initiative.

Thank you all for your patience.

We'll make this as quick and painless as possible.

Will will read out a list of names.

If you're on that list, you have tested positive.

But then you probably know that already.

Stay behind.

We need to talk to you.

If you don't hear your name, you're free to go.

Are you okay?

Bishop.

Stephen.

Carter.

Alephan.

Davidson.

Stuart.

Heaven.

Ryan. Fanshawe, Barbara.

Farmer, Nathan.

Fields.

Bobby.

Foster.

Darren.

Greenblatt, Jordan. I suppose people could wait behind, please.

But I don't understand.

I don't want to hear clear.

I'm going to.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Shh. Go on, now. Go on.

You need to get over this.

This is horrible.

This people.

I'm popping it. She's losing her job.

I've got nothing to cry about. I just can't stop.

Nigel, I've got to look after Poppy.

See if we'll reinstate her.

Will you take Lorna home?

Come on, let's go.

The car's outside.

Now call them in one by one, give them the letter we wrote, ask for their IDs,

their locker keys, their uniform, any company property.

Make them sign the confidentiality agreement.

We need a word.

We'll talk in the morning.

Well done.

You have to be able to get Poppy off.

Are we going to make an exception for her?

Says she was spiked.

I don't know. But her brother died four weeks ago today.

You take her job from her, you're going to kill her. You think I don't know

that, Leanne?

Every one of those people has a sob story and it's... And it's one o 'clock

the morning and I have to fire every one of them.

Yeah. Well, you brought it all on yourself, didn't you?

I thought I knew you.

I don't know you at all.

Here's a souvenir.

On the day you sacked one of your best friends.

I'm sure that's a real milestone in the corporate world.

You're going to be okay.

Thanks for the lift.

And I'm sorry I cried all over you.

And that I nearly lost your job.

Well, all's well that ends well.

And I'm sorry too.

I said all the things I didn't mean.

No offence intended.

Untaken.

You know, you're a really kind man, Nigel.

Don't always let people see that side of you.

Just for the record, I had a nice day.

It was different.

Hairy at times.

But I'm glad it happened.

Me too.

We will see you now, Poppy.

On her own.

He sees it with me, present or not at all.

Well, that leaves one question.

How the hell did we get away with it?

Maybe they weren't testing for marijuana.

They always test for marijuana.

Then that leaves one other possibility.

Oh, come on. We smoke puff often enough to know when it's not the real deal.

Are you sure about that?

So we were never actually stoned.

There goes my street cred.

And poor Laura's 40 quid on oregano and watered down mushrooms.

Drive you home?

If you're only going to stay over, then the answer is no.

I'm going to keep asking the question.

Poppy, I need you to read that.

And so you need to say that you've understood.

So basically, she keeps quite a bad a reason for dismissal in exchange for two

weeks' pay and a reference.

That's right.

No. Yes, the KO should probably go anyway.

Take some time out, be with my family.

Seeing what to do with my life.

If that's what you choose to do, fine, but don't be forced into it. Look, she

was spiked.

Get her off it.

I can't. Of course you can. Your management... Stop the airline.

The CIA don't care why someone had cocaine in their bloodstream. The fact

they did... meant that they were a danger to the public.

Sod all that. Will, Poppy's your friend.

You know, when you got this promotion, she was so pleased for you.

She went on and on about it.

She worshipped the bloody ground you walked on. You won't lift a finger to

her.

She's not signing that.

Come on, couple.

It's making you home.

Of the world.

The world is mine. The world is mine.