Original subtitles

Oh, no.

Oh,

no.

There is no way you're going to get the Purser's job over me.

Will, I've been at Fresh eight months longer than you. Yeah, but I'm better at

the job, and I'm union wreck.

Guys, I'm finally spickering really quickly.

No, there wouldn't be a Purser's job without our friends, Emma and Lisa.

Yeah, well, life goes on, sweetheart.

I'm Marker Bailey.

Today's my last day. I was told I had Lisa.

Richie? Jason.

You see, I know, because I've got inside information.

Don't you sleep in my secretary's casino.

Fuck all.

Me? I go straight to the top.

Me?

A person?

Don't look so surprised.

Well, you've been with us for 18 months.

You've done all the training.

You've got all the qualities we're looking for.

You don't look very happy about this. No.

No, it's just that all my friends all thought that they were... That's one of

the most difficult things about promotion.

Getting your friends to recognise you as their boss.

Look, this week is a trial.

Then we'll go on to a three -month probation. And if that works out, the

yours.

This is where I say congratulations and you say thank you.

Yes.

Thank you. Congratulations.

Are you all OK with it? Yeah.

Cool.

I think it's great.

Thanks.

Right, if we're all ready, can we begin cabin checks, then, please?

We are, and I hear congratulations are in order.

Thank you.

Well, good luck.

Is he what this bulk is all about, Jason?

It's weird to think I'm doing this for the last time.

Still don't know why you want to leave.

You obviously love this job and you're getting quite good at it now that I've

taught you. I know.

I've given him my name too.

You can take it back.

Come on. Boring.

Marco, this is Mr Boyd. Mr Boyd, this is Marco.

You need to take care of him, Mr Boyd. Okay.

Sure. Hello, Mr Boyd. Better get back there.

I'm going to put you just here.

All right, nice and slow.

Okay. Do you have anyone meeting you at Palmer? Just get your ground staff to

take me in a taxi. I'll be fine.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Put the tape around your waist and tie in a double bow.

You can top up the vest by blowing into this tube, and there is a light and a

whistle for attracting attention.

Hello, sailor.

In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will fall from

the panel above you.

Sorry for the trolley, lady.

Oh, pardon.

Let me guess.

Students? Struggling musicians.

Oh, dear.

Well, I'm sure they weren't me.

Three OJs now, would they? And how about some champagne, just to liven them up?

What's that?

I think Spanish for farmhouse.

Bought it with the gilt money, the cobalt.

Do your family run it for you while you're away?

Just me, the mountains, and my lizards.

Today's my last day afresh.

Let me treat you to something.

Do you like a glass of wine, perhaps?

Why not?

What's your group called, then?

Sex, Drugs and Cheese Drinks. Which of you is which?

Oh, we all do all three.

Right.

Er, see that lanky streak of piss just down there?

Well, today is his very last day at Fresh, and what better way to see him

than, I don't know, a sunset beach somewhere, three lovely musical ladies.

Sound good to you?

None of your tricks, Jason.

Charge them for that champagne.

I'll put the money in the box yourself.

And if we're so much as a penny out when I add up the takings, I'll report you.

Yes, Janice.

Never mind the wagon driving. She's all right, really.

Can I have a word, Jason?

In the galley?

What the hell do you think you're doing? I don't know what you're talking about.

Mooning? Doing a safety demo?

Slugging me up to passengers?

Chill out.

It's what all crew do to all persons. You know that. If you can't handle it,

Leanne, maybe you're running the wrong job. You're just pissed.

Because I got the promotion that you wanted. Well, I wouldn't mind if I

you could actually do it. You don't think I'm personal material?

You won't last five minutes.

Mr.

Boyd? Mr. Boyd? Oh, shit.

If you even last a week, I'll walk through the terminal building stark

naked. How's that?

Oh, I'll laugh.

I'll be the best damn person this airline's ever seen.

I'll bet you anything you want on it.

You'll have sex with me.

Wherever, whenever, and however you want it.

Dream on, Jay.

It's never going to happen.

Leanne, quick.

I want to see Mr. Boyd. I think it's serious.

These better not be some silly, jokey thing.

Dad?

Mr. Boyd?

But you're already taking a hundred a month out from my wages.

How am I supposed to live?

Casey, we don't have any joy.

The court has instructed us to do this. That's what a garnish order means.

Do you have any other debt besides this credit card business?

How much?

I don't know.

Give me a ballpark figure.

Twenty... five.

Thousand? Twenty -five thousand?

Okay, see, you can't hide your head in the sand about this.

I mean, you could be facing bankruptcy. Do you have any idea what that could

mean? But if I had that promotion, I could pay it off.

You know it doesn't work like that, Casey.

Ladies and gentlemen, one of our passengers is unwell.

If there's a doctor of medicine on board, could you come forward, please?

Thank you.

Do I vote to Barcelona or go on?

Parma's just as quick at this point.

This is Dr. Markham, the GP.

Dr. Markham.

Thank you, First Sister.

Just do whatever you can, dear, whatever you normally would.

The ally will take full responsibility.

Mr Boyd has emphysema, but right now the problem's his heart.

Ideally, I need a drink.

Well, Jason will give you the ship's medical kit. Just take whatever you

Uh, do you have some ID we can check?

In my bag. It's in the overhead locker.

We can't just let him give drugs. Not when we're first checking his

Lee, the man's having a heart attack. We can't really... Fine, all right.

Calm down, Leanne. We'll do fine.

I'll get traffic to get on to Meditel for you.

The idea you asked for. Sorry, we have to check.

Shut up.

Is he going to be okay?

Doctor says he's got to get the shot now.

It's going to take 20 minutes for Meditel to get back to us, and we're

be on the ground by then. Yeah, and Mr Boy's going to be dead if we keep

around checking he's not Harold Shipman.

His oxygen tank seems to be empty. Quick, Michael, go and get the cylinder.

It's up to you.

All right.

FA105.

Go ahead, Doctor.

Give me adrenaline if you think you need it. I'm afraid it's too late for that.

Casey, you're lucky you caught me.

I just stopped Denise on the 215.

Hey, what's happened?

I've got a council court judgment against me.

I owe fresh three grand.

I've got five on another card.

The banker asked me for the mortgage.

So you want to come into the business then?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

How else can I get myself out of this mess?

Okay.

Well, I can start you on Monday, if you like.

I'll put you on the golf route.

You'll go down a treat with the Arab men.

I get 50 % of whatever you make. You get health checked, including an AIDS test,

every three months at your own expense.

And don't ever... Do you understand?

Go up there, hand in your notice, and we're in business.

What do you mean?

Sweetheart, you can't fly for fresh and work for me.

Mile High Entertainments is a full -time job. You have to work wherever and

whenever I send you. I can't. I haven't got my job and I haven't got my friends.

They're calling my flight.

When you're ready to go full -time, call me.

Until then.

You can try this guy. He can get you tricks on the side a couple of the fresh

girls use him.

But be careful.

He's not a very nice man.

Gentlemen, thank you. I'm sure you all did your best.

The police are going to need to take statements from you when we land.

All right, Marco.

Marco, sit next to him. Keep him upright and talk to him.

Talk to him. I don't want to alarm the other passengers.

Do it for me.

Please. Look, he's not going to spend his last year.

You're OK.

Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to apologise for the interruption of

cabin service, as we will shortly be descending.

We will not routine today's trolley service.

Thank you.

My father always said I wouldn't make it as an air steward.

So I proved him right.

It's too late now, eh?

Bob Simmons?

Hey, it's your great Maria, I presume.

So, you want to go into business, Casey?

Um, it's Casey.

Casey? Well, my name's Kathleen Cassandra, so my initials are Casey.

It's what my friends call me. And that's what you want your clients to call you,

is it?

Um, no, I suppose not.

Most of my girls have working names.

How about Sandy?

It's close enough to Cassandra?

Yeah.

Good.

Take a seat.

Just so we're clear, I run an escort service.

I put girls in touch with men who want company.

Drinks, dinner, races, shows, Wimbledon, that sort of thing.

My tax is 40%, the rest I pass on to you at the end of each week.

You share a flat?

Yeah. I don't suppose you want your girlfriends knowing what you're doing,

I have to call you at home, I'll be Uncle Bob, OK?

How much will I earn?

Depends how much you work and what you choose to do.

And when would it start?

I could start you out straight away, darling.

Never have enough girls like you.

Well, get off.

What? Do a kind of clientele suit.

And we'll need photographs.

You teach your own?

Yeah. Then get off and stand on the paper.

to gloat.

The passion to die on your first day must be, yeah, upsetting for you.

Sorry. So what do you reckon? He'd still be alive if we'd done it your way?

Who knows, eh?

Well, thanks for your sympathy.

Oh, and Jay, I'm not going to crack, if that's what you're hoping.

You're not going to win this stupid bet.

Well, look, I'd better go.

It's Marco's last night, innit?

Got to take him out and get him blooded and laid.

Show him what's going to be missing.

I would ask you if it's not really a girl thing.

You ready?

Actually, Michael and me are going out for a quiet meal.

Bollocks to that, Queenie. We've got three quality honeys waiting for us at

cab rank.

What's this?

Oh, he was showing me where he lives.

Lived.

Unless I dropped it. Well, he won't need it now, will he?

Going for a meal.

Come on, just get on it.

Pull your knickers strapped down.

Drop it down.

Squeeze your tits together.

Lean forward for me.

Put your finger in your mouth.

Come on, kitten, look at me. Look at the camera.

Now drop that trap off your shoulder.

Come on.

Good. The other one.

Lean forward for me.

Oh, come on, you must have enough by now. I'm freezing my tits up here.

All right,

well, look, we'll go through what you will and won't do.

What do you mean?

O -level.

Oral.

Yeah, yeah. Anal.

Bareback.

What? Without a condom, darling.

No way.

Big money for it these days.

I don't care. I'm not doing it.

Girl on girl.

Dominant.

Emissive. Golden shower. No.

Brain and vaginal.

It's a limited market if I'll call you.

But a bit.

Yep. But I can go. Yep.

Do you know where this place is?

The Calvia?

Well, it's going to be hard.

I'm going to go check on the place. Just let his neighbours know what's

happened. You lot can do what you want.

So what if you can't find it? I mean, what if there are no neighbours?

Cross that bridge when it comes to it.

You going to let him go on his own?

All right, girls, quite a change of plan.

We're taking the scenic route, OK?

Come on.

you going?

Paid him off, boys.

I bought three girls, three, what, two and a half blokes, deserted farmhouse.

Brilliant, mate, brilliant.

Can't think of it myself.

Well, I'm actually going in.

Suit yourself, mate. I am.

I have never been in a dead person's head before.

Shut the fuck up, really.

Check these out.

Wow, they're amazing.

What are we doing here?

Whose house is this?

It's all right. It's just a friend of ours. We're going to feed his pets for

him, all right?

Change of plans. Freak him out a little bit.

Let's feed the lizard, call a cab and get off with it.

Right. So what does the lizard eat?

I don't know. Plant stuff, I guess.

Good. Right. Try the garden. Wheel, kitchen.

Hey, don't do me a jukebox, I remember.

Jake and Will.

Come and look at this.

Bugger me.

I wouldn't normally say this, but bugger me, I know.

What are we going to do?

Get up.

The real McCoy.

When you finish that, we'll go and eat.

I just want to be by myself.

Yeah, you heard what the doctor said.

The old boy's been cheating death for years.

Today was just his time.

For what it's worth, I thought you handled it really well.

And I think you've got the makings of a bloody good number one.

Don't be nice to me.

Why not? I can cope with hating or liking you, but just not both at the

time.

Well, you know what my answer to that one is.

Yeah.

But hating you is far less complicated.

Remember, there's something we have to do later.

Yep.

Roll another one.

That's it.

What do you think, Virgil?

That's his name, you know, the baby one.

Look at that camouflage.

Gone. Amazing, isn't it?

Yeah, amazing.

So cute, the baby ones, aren't they?

I nearly had a baby.

You can't have a baby, Michael.

Remember, you're a boy.

You know me, Janice.

What are, Janice?

The Wicked Witch of the West.

Is that funny?

Is that funny?

You and Janice having a little baby, Michael.

Hey, or a little baby Janice.

I'm serious.

A little baby Janice.

Marco isn't the only one thinking about leaving.

It's not just because the old man died, is it?

No, he had the flu last weekend.

Is he okay?

He was crying.

When I went through him, he was a freak.

It was like he didn't even know me.

And then my mum came in and he opened up his little arms to her and do you know

what he said?

What?

Mummy.

Mum said, oh, he's got a fever, he's just confused, but we both know he

I've missed five years of his life.

What a crap mother.

And all for what?

You've been the breadwinner.

You've also been dad, too.

Maybe it's time to give someone else a chance at that.

Like who?

I've never made a relationship last for more than five minutes. Because you

don't trust anybody.

You never give anyone a chance.

Marry me.

Pardon? I wasn't going to tell you this because I didn't think I was going to

get to speak to you again, but...

I've made captain.

We're there in New Zealand.

And if I take the job, that's where I'll be based.

Come with me. You, Louis, your mum.

I'll take care of you.

What are you saying?

Why? Because you're in love with me for starters.

And nor you me.

But we could be, I swear.

I thought you liked to gamble.

I already made one bet today.

Well, make another one.

Take a risk with me, Leanne.

Bacon and this, I tell you, I am going to have a hot blush.

Oh,

you'd think having that much marijuana, you'd at least have some easy excess

munchies.

So, which case got the gear in? This one.

I think I've overdone it a bit. It's practically solid skunk with a mass of

cocoa powder to aid the taste.

But it hasn't risen very well.

Trust me, love, they do not teach you the baking properties of marijuana and

home eckeys.

The work wouldn't be marked with leaving present.

If we decorate it, it might look a bit better.

That's a good idea.

Look, cherries.

Smiley face.

Everybody likes a smiley face.

So, does he know how you feel about him?

No.

Why haven't you told him?

I've rehearsed it over a million times.

It's practically all I think about.

See, when I get them alone, I don't open my mouth.

The words just don't come out.

What are you so afraid of?

You and I, Dan.

I do.

The bummer being in love with your straight friends.

What, through your leg?

Oh, right.

You know what it's like when you make a move on those streets.

It starts off with fear, loathing and horror and then you can't even get to be

in the same room as you in case you catch a disease.

Sometimes they surprise you.

I was madly in love with this girl in my A -level class.

One day we got drunk and I just blurted it out.

Beginning of the best year of my life.

Just married now, mind you.

Will.

He's going to be out of your life this time tomorrow.

If you don't tell him now, you'll never know what might have been.

Yeah, yeah, we're not here, you wank.

Casey, hi, this is Uncle Bob.

Your couple's got into town sooner than I expected, so give us a call and I'll

tell you when you can meet them.

Thanks for dinner.

You're welcome.

Good night, then.

Night.

I know that what I said tonight must have seemed a little crazy, but please,

just think about it. That's all I'm asking.

Do you want to come in?

Is that what you want?

Just as long as you understand that what I do tonight and what I say tomorrow

are two different things.

No,

we just died from waiting so long for you.

Oh,

thanks.

You'll have to feed it to me, though, darling. I've forgotten how to lift my

arms.

Mmm.

Mmm.

That's good.

It's funny to think this time tomorrow I'll be home for good.

How can you give up on times like this?

It's had its moments, I'll say that.

Its moments?

The fresh lifestyle rocks, man, 24 -7.

You will never find anything like this ever again.

Well, too late now.

It's never too late.

Katie, hi, this is Uncle Bob.

Now, your cousin's got into town sooner than I expected, so give us a call and

I'll tell you where you can meet him.

Hope you're well. Bye -bye.

Your couple's gone into town.

Morning. Coffee.

Oh, thanks.

It's a farewell present.

Picked that myself.

Oh, thank you.

Now, don't need it until you get home, OK? Promise me.

OK. It's lovely, thanks.

Marco, I'm just going to come out and say this, but whatever you do, please

don't look at me like I'm some kind of leper, OK?

What's the matter?

God, I'm going to muck this up.

I've never said this to anyone before in my life.

I love you.

That is it.

I'm in love with you.

You're my special person. Don't touch me!

Michael, don't look at me like that, please. No, never.

This would never happen, Will.

I'm not gay.

Why are you spoiling everything?

Well, that stuff lasts with your dad. He said you were in love with someone and

it was difficult. It was a woman!

All right, then.

Better set these babies free, I suppose.

No one to look after them now, is there?

Probably the old man would have wanted.

Hi.

Taxis are on their way.

They'll be here in a minute.

You're going to be all right on your own, Virgil.

Big bad world.

Don't suppose you are, are you?

Don't move about too much, right?

Want those naughty men from customs getting off their spaces?

Marco, we're in this taxi here. We're going to the hotel.

They can drop me off.

I'm sorry.

My fault.

Hey!

Where's he going?

Oh, well.

Missed his flight one hour, weren't we?

Dirty bastard.

Hey, easy, you clumsy puss.

I'm going to head back to my room.

See you later.

Don't you want your answer?

For about an hour somewhere in the middle of last night, I was ready to go

it. A new life, a father for my boy,

A man I really like.

But it's not enough.

I don't have to settle for a life with someone I don't love.

Neither do you.

You know, the weirdest thing about the last 24 hours, I feel like I've been

living Emma's life.

Doing her job, being with her man.

Do you remember what I said to you the morning of her wedding?

That I should let her go.

I was bad for her.

I should never have said it.

Maybe none of this would have happened if I'd let you two be together.

It's Emma you love, John, not me.

And maybe you are bad for each other, but isn't that up to you two to discover

that for yourselves?

I should never have interfered.

You look fucked.

You didn't sleep here last night then?

No.

There's something wrong.

You seem upset.

I'm fine.

You missed breakfast?

Yeah, I'm not hungry.

I'm going to get a shower if you don't mind.

Okay.

Can I have some of this cake?

I haven't had any breakfast myself.

What have I taken?

Right, Burr High Street first, and then the airport. I've got to be there by

nine.

I've bagged that picture through the whole case, Dean.

What do you need all my luggage for, anyway?

Well, my sister's moved to Nice to live with her boyfriend, and I promised that

I'd take a load of stuff out for her. Get it still. Don't help Oliver with the

cabin checks.

Three minutes to board in.

Here we are, mate.

Just a little flight on a big plane. I'll get more in a minute.

Good at the wholesale pharmacy.

Shit, fake pan.

Can't have you looking like the undead when he streaks through the terminal

building next week now, can we?

What's up now?

Nothing.

But, Jay, I know you did the coin thing.

But can't we work together and forget about this cheap bet?

I really need you.

What?

Fine. Be like that.

Pleasure.

Marco, lift him with the Coleman pod to see if I can look him in the eye.

They're boarding.

Morning.

We're going to have to take that off. It's EU regulations.

Marco, I have to talk to you now.

This is not about that. It's an emergency, please.

Why do you think I told you not to eat it until you got home?

I didn't think. I just wanted to get rid of anything my hands had touched.

I'm going to lose my job.

I baked this.

I'll tell them I did.

It's my last day. What can they do?

Jase, please tell me you've not had any of this.

What?

This tape.

Oh, I think it is.

Well, they are kind of neat in a hopper cave by a crell, aren't they? We'll be

cruising at an altitude of 35 ,000 feet.

Oh, thank you.

Fuck! No!

It's just Marco nearly broke his tooth on it. I think he bit the chopped nuts

mixed up with something else.

You didn't have any, did you, Stephen?

No. Good.

You're sure?

Well, no offence if you're the cook, but it's actually Sarah Lee.

By the way, tell Leanne there's going to be a bit of a delay.

How's it late?

Yeah, 20 minutes, maybe half an hour.

Half an hour, she's going to be behind the gate.

If she's still conscious.

I think she practically saw the skunk.

We can't let her work. We have to tell her.

Tell me what?

I don't feel so good.

I'll take the trolley with that roof if you like. You can have a rest.

What do you want?

Pardon? Well, I've never known you to do an afterword. You absolutely didn't

have to. Well, maybe that's why Leanne Evans got made a person and I didn't.

I'm mending my ways, James. Take advantage of me.

You've, um, forgotten the float.

Hey. Here.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Here you go.

Is there anything for you, Charlie?

Diane, we've informed the flight deck that you're not well.

Thankfully, the stand -by's the first. I should be here any minute.

You called someone else in.

You can't do that.

We had to, Lee. You're not fit to work, are you?

You did this.

You want me to screw up?

You want me to leave this stupid bed?

I can't off you for being ill. I won't let him.

What the fuck? There's this giant, like, there's some everywhere.

Rihanna's just hallucinations.

Right, let's get this shower of shite in order.

What the hell's going on?

Leanne has food poisoning.

Do you want to get up here? I just want to go home. Right, let's get the door

shut, Marco.

Prepare for the stage demonstration.

Okay, come on.

I'll finish

up here for you if you want to go and do the seatbelt check.

Okay.

Ten minutes to land in.

Everything OK?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh,

James, don't forget that I need to take my sister's bag to her. She's coming to

the airport. Steph, you remember?

Yeah, OK. I'll clean up just this once.

Back in 15 now, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

Bye, Mother.

Mother.

Do you want Ollie to come with you and give you a hug? No, no, no, it's fine,

thanks.

Where the fuck is she? Thanks.

Shit. Who cashed up?

Hey, Bane.

That is not enough.

I won.

Well, just take me as far as you can go, and when the money runs out, I'll get

out. Okay.

What does she have for dinner last night?

Yeah, I don't know.

I'll sit with her. Not that we're full, is it?

Leon, try not to puke over anything else.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm sorry, Leah. I've been a bit of a arse.

I'll do that terminal thing if you want.

End of the day.

I can wait till there's any one of you.

It's bad enough that I've lost my friend and made an arse of myself.

But do you really need to flinch every time I look at you? I mean, Dad really

deserved that. Sorry, I've just not... Oh, just deal with it.

The Marco I thought I knew would have.

This Marco?

I don't even know what I ever saw in him.

The fact of the matter is, you should be flattered.

Have I ever given you the wrong signals?

I never meant to hurt you.

Then, women, can you tell me a shit so I can kill her?

Will, seatbelt checks, please.

Sir?

Your last flight?

If you're leaving because of me, Marco, then you shouldn't do.

You're good crew.

It's too late.

Take the advice of someone a lot older than you, Marco.

It's only too late if you let it be.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

What's that?

Nothing.

No.

Have you been eating this?

No. Yes.

You're not ill.

You're stoned.

She didn't know I had gear in it.

And you did.

Whose is this tape?

Mine.

Virgil! No!

four people out there, and as far as I'm concerned, they're an absolute

embarrassment to the company.

There's no proof that Lizard was mine, is there? I mean, anyone could have

brought that on board.

You called it Virgil. You gave it a name, you Muppet. How much more proof

she need?

Oh, I'm the Muppet, am I?

You told her that the cake was yours.

Yeah. Fair enough.

Yeah.

So the only one who's okay is you.

Now, I'm going to take me to that queue you're leaving.

No.

No.

I don't know why I gave him my notes. I must have been mad.

I love this job. I don't want to leave.

I'm going to say something. Michael, wait.

I could blow that man 20 times over.

Nothing's going to save your job this time.

Basically. What the fuck?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London.

Thank you for flying with Fresh today, and we hope to see you on board again

very soon.