Original subtitles

Well, this.

Okay, we've got three sectors today. We've got the London Barcelona and the

Barcelona Geneva.

Emma, what are you doing here?

Briefing my crew.

I'm the number one on this flight.

The 059 Barcelona and the 513 Geneva? Yes, they are my sectors.

No, they're not.

Go and check the schedule if you don't believe me.

Right, the captain is Stephen Jessop and the first officer... My husband's on

those sectors. He's taken time off work specifically to be with me.

So you're suggesting I lose the day's flying allowance because you want to

up with your husband in Geneva? OK, OK, this is what we're going to do.

Emma is on probation as a purser anyway, so she can first and Janice, you can

supervise. So who will be in charge of the cabin?

You will.

And Janice will only intervene if she thinks that you have a problem that you

can't handle.

Who wears the bag?

Emma is officially the purser.

It's just a bag.

Start with him. No, tubby laptop first.

He's a dead sir. I doubt he's been laid in a year.

Excuse me, sir. Are you travelling on business today?

Yes.

Well, then you might be interested in a special promotion my colleague and I are

running. Help relieve the boredom of the flight.

Some kind of air miles thing.

Better than that.

This is your passport to fun.

Instant membership of the Mile High Club.

This is a joke, right?

All you have to do is book yourself in for whatever position takes your fancy.

I'll give you a number, and when my colleague, the lady standing over there,

gives you the wink, you just come to the restrooms at the rear of the aircraft.

We take sterling euros and most major credit cards.

All I'm asking... is that you don't breathe a word of this to anyone.

Are you interested?

Hello!

What are you doing here?

Sorry, we don't speak Spanish.

The beach is private.

It belongs to Philip.

What was I going to do with you?

I lived here.

Oh. And you own this beach?

Si.

No.

What are those for?

Sometimes they struggle, mate.

I don't think that was a good idea.

I'm not hanging around this dump all day.

We are going to the beach and Will is having a birthday, yeah? Whether he

it or not.

Sort it out. He listens to you.

Will!

It's me, Marco. Can I come in? Go away.

I don't want you to see me like this.

What the hell was that?

I'm just trying to get my face to look the right way.

I don't know where you had that stupid injection.

I mean, you don't have any lines. You're 25.

Yeah, well, that's 15 years.

I've lost my pulling power.

Last night the waiter laughed in my face like I was a leper, and now this

morning I look like one.

Stop pitting about and get in there.

I don't care what you look like.

I'm worried about you.

Get off of me! Is that something gay?

You can't spend your whole birthday cooped up in here!

Go! I am

Dario. You're welcome to come up

and have a look around.

There is a nice pool.

Champagne. I'm not sure.

Oh, look. Hello, boys.

Who are they?

Boyfriends or something?

Just friends.

It's all right. We're all gone.

Lee, got a question for you, right?

What sort of person leaves their friend alone on his birthday?

And he's ill as well.

He didn't want to celebrate.

Yeah, well, I kind of think he might do, really.

So we've got a picnic, yeah? Well, you can't have it here.

It's a private beach.

You seem to be allowed on it. Well, this is Dario. He owns the villa up there.

He's invited us all up for champagne.

I think the invite was just for you and me, Cain.

You can all come up.

I have plenty of food and drink.

Yay!

Oh, look, I'm not going to spend the whole flight arguing with you.

Now, can we work together on this?

You can't do your job, Emma. I'm not about to show you.

Mandy, can you get the drinks for the flight deck, please?

Thank you.

Hi.

Hello.

We're offering a special promotion today.

It'll do something to help you relax during the flight.

A massage service?

Among other things, we're fully trained ex -air hostesses.

Thing is, I've got a hostess of my own.

I'm sorry?

My wife. She's one of the flight attendants. In fact, she's the purser.

Bollocks. They've switched pursers. Some girl I've never heard of.

And what's worse, that's her husband.

She'll be changed blind.

Ladies and gentlemen, fresh flight SA059 to Barcelona is now ready for boarding

through gate 15.

Too late.

We just have to be extra careful.

So, have you signed up for this mile -high club promotion?

I saw you talking to her. What?

Oh, the massage.

No, I didn't fancy it, actually.

Ian. John.

How are you? Fine, how are you? What would your fine baby knew, eh?

See you later.

John!

Long time no see.

They told us someone else was bursting.

I am.

You've been demoted.

What are you doing here, Kate?

Well, no one told us you were the pilot, so that must make us passionate.

Don't worry.

We remember how to beat ourselves.

Friends in here, Jenny.

No.

It is such as waiting.

I didn't answer my question.

We're on a business trip.

You remember?

We're not doing that on my flight. But it's not your flight.

I'm supervising her and I'm telling you... Telling me what?

I don't think you'll do anything.

Will you?

You just do your job, Janice, and let me do mine.

Wow!

Oh, shoot that tiger yourself, did he? Don't be silly.

Imported from Africa.

Cost me 5 ,000 euros.

How much is a plate like this worth?

Cost me 2 million for the house and the land.

Another half million to decorate.

How does a boy like you come about 2 .5 million exactly?

A mixture of luck and hard work.

Specifically?

In all of stuff.

Some I can talk about, some I can't.

Used to be in bar business, mainly.

I'll show you upstairs.

What a nice idea.

Oh, it's amazing.

I designed it myself.

The theme is love.

I can see that.

I bet you bring all the girls here.

I buy this house for my fiancée.

She'll love to see.

This place.

We want to spend the rest of our lives here.

It's our crash.

Oh, you poor thing.

Now I only allow special people in here.

Oh, really?

Who's this, then?

It's my father.

Lots of pictures.

We were close.

Right. And this is your brother, is it?

See? Bit odd, though, innit?

Lots of pictures of a middle -aged man with a younger man, but none of your

fiancé?

My father is also dead, if you must know.

In the same accident.

Jason, why don't you just piss off and leave us alone?

Give me five minutes.

Not in time.

Pass or credit card?

Oh, credit card.

Formality's out of the way.

Let's make you a little more comfortable, shall we?

Hello.

Someone's pleased to see me.

Someone must be stuck in the loo. I'd better go and check. No.

Janice, Kevin Macmillan put me in charge.

I'm Purser, remember?

See? Not a problem.

Probably had one too many coffees while you were delaying us.

Would you like anything more?

I was number two. I'm sorry, mate. You can pick any damn number you like. I'm

busting for a pee, and I was next.

I was spaghetti.

Champagne. My cigarette supply.

Only ten bottles made a year.

I have five of them.

You can't waste that on me.

I can't think of anyone I would rather drink it with.

You Spanish playboys. You're so fresh.

You English airline girls are so beautiful.

Leanne, open your mouth.

I love the taste of this.

Janice, can I have a word? I'm busy.

Well, this can't wait.

Ian says that woman that you were speaking to earlier is using the toilets

service passengers.

Service?

Fuck.

Well, we're no strangers to people having sex in the loos, are we?

You of all people should know that, I would imagine.

For money, Janice, she's a prostitute. Ian's caught her doing it.

And you believe him?

What on earth are you suggesting?

Okay. I'll go and check. I'll go.

I'm... The person, so you feel obliged to keep reminding me.

Look, I know Kim Devonport.

She used to work at Fresh a couple of years ago. I think I'm probably the best

person to try and persuade her to stop.

If, of course, this isn't just a figment of your husband's vivid imagination.

Excuse me, please.

Thank you. Excuse me.

Thank you.

You've been rumbled.

I know.

But I've got four more clients waiting out there.

We start the descent in ten minutes' time.

If you're not finished by then, I'm calling the police as soon as I get to

Barcelona.

And have me tell Blondie how Janice Steele, with no E, used to turn tricks.

He wouldn't.

If only they knew, eh?

A young, sexy... Mad Janice dumped by a sugar daddy pilot.

Penniless.

You forget how many enemies you've made over the years, Janice.

They'd like nothing better than to hear how Janice Steele used to fuck

passengers for money.

How she fucked so many of them, in fact, she managed to put a deposit down on

her flat.

How you screwed the pilot in the cockpit.

How you even had sex with a stag in the loo on his stag weekend and then had the

best man straight after.

How much did you charge for that? I can't remember.

Or was that one just for kids?

Now that's more like the old Janice Steele.

How do you think we survive up here, Jan?

By picking persons who turn a blind eye.

People like you.

If you're going to stand here snacking and gossiping all day, are you actually

going to start to clear up the cabin?

I've already asked them, Janice. They did it ten minutes ago.

Could you two give us a second?

Thanks.

Well?

Yeah, you were right. I've told us to knock it off.

I think we should get the police to meet them at the flight.

And land ourselves with a mountain full of paperwork when we get back to base.

In an hour from now, they'll be gone from our lives.

But you always get up.

Oh, I see.

You're trying to get me to break with procedures while I fail my probation.

Don't be so bloody stupid.

Oh, whatever, Janice.

Go, girl, go.

Happy birthday to you.

Hold on, you're not waiting for Leanne?

time. I'll come up at the airport in an hour.

Besides, if we wait for her, we'll be waiting all day.

I went to use the shower in Dario's bathroom and the door's locked and you

to hear the noises. All right, all right.

That girl knows how to enjoy herself. Do you know, I'm glad she's got that John

Brighton. Neighbor next door, just constant.

Have fun, everyone.

Bye -bye.

Hi.

Do we miss anything?

Dario, any gum washing?

Jason? Pardon?

Don't come the dumb phone in with me, mate.

Do you speak English?

What's Leanne?

Any good?

What's your fucking problem?

I thought you said he was a shirtlifter.

Isn't he?

Sausage jockey.

You told him I was gay?

Well, actually, I said you were all gay.

Because anyway, I was going to let us all in.

So you lied.

What is he, your boyfriend or something?

No. It's a laugh, isn't it?

We've been both nearly five minutes with her. In fact, I'll be careful you don't

catch anything.

I think you should leave.

Oh, you're going to make me iron, mate.

Oh, come on, guys. This is my birthday party.

I think we should all play a wee nice game.

Jason, what the fuck are you doing?

Come on, guys. Just leave it.

Let's just play the game.

Now, come on.

Let's play everybody's party favourite.

Fuck or die.

Yeah. What is fuck or die?

Okay. You pick two names and the other person has to choose who they sleep

If they won't shag either, when they die, they'll drop it.

OK, now I'm going to go first because it's my party.

OK, Dario, do you choose Claudia Schiffer or

Leanne?

I would have to say Leanne.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Barcelona.

Bye -bye. Thank you. Bye -bye. Bye. Thank you for lying fresh.

Thank you.

I've got to hand it to you people. You may cut corners, but you certainly know

how to keep the customer satisfied.

Bye, lady.

Bye, love.

See you, Jan.

Goodbye.

Oh, I'd rather call it au revoir.

Right, where's Mandy's standby? She'll be here by now.

I am. Hey.

Oh. What's she doing here? Thought it was meant to be just us girls together.

Supervising. Emma, may I make a small suggestion?

Why doesn't Casey start with a lose?

Come on, Casey. I'll give you a hand.

Better wear gloves, ladies.

Quite sticky, I imagine.

Ah.

Oh, looks like someone's had an orgy in here.

but it's funny you should say that.

One

flight

down and one to go and you'll never guess who's coming with us.

You said she wouldn't be flying with us again.

Hello, sorry, that's lovely, thank you.

I'm sorry, ladies, I'm afraid I won't be able to let you fly.

So we've got tickets?

Bought and paid for.

Yeah. But I can't let you use the aircraft at the knocking shop.

Are you calling me and my friend prostitutes?

You're my supervisor, advise me.

Bitch.

Stay here, all of you.

Hookers? You're kidding.

Are they fit?

Look, for God's sake, I'm asking your advice. Can I refuse them if I think

they're going to commit a criminal act?

They're ex -cabin crew, you say?

Mm -hm.

So they'll know the drill, and they've got luggage in the hold.

Yeah. But if we offload them, we'll lose our slot, hunting for their luggage.

And you're on probation.

It's not going to look good on your record if you lose the company money.

Here's what we'll do.

If they try it again, come and tell us, and we'll put the seatbelts on.

Let's just shut them down.

Where are you going?

Emma, it's best I get off here. I've got a migraine coming.

What? We both know you don't really need me.

You're refusing to help because you want me to fuck up.

They're friends of yours. It wouldn't surprise me if you set this whole thing

up. It's not because I'm wearing this badge. You're losing the plot.

You're not getting off this aircraft, Janet.

Get that hand. It's going to be your fuck -up as much as mine.

Well,

Janice might not be able to stop her, but I'm going to.

Where do you think you're going?

John said if she started again, he'd switch the seatbelts line back on.

Right, so you've been making decisions with your ex -lover without consulting

me. I tried to solve it, and you couldn't.

Do you think you can control this cabin better than I can?

Yeah,

who's losing the plot?

Kim, this has got to stop. Get out of my way, Janice. I told you what would

happen if you interrupted.

Come on.

The crew know about it.

Emma is not going to put up with this, even if I would.

Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has switched on his seatbelts tonight

we're expecting for turbulence.

Please return to your seats and make sure your seatbelts are securely

Thank you.

The old fake turbulence trick.

Pathetic.

Make them switch it off.

Kim.

Please, can you start the trolley with Duncan?

Yeah. You're making a fool of me.

You're undermining your position in this cabin.

Why do you care?

Why do you still do it, Jan?

Look at you. You're, what, 34, 35?

You're competing for authority with kids half your age.

It's mine and mine.

That's the kind of life.

Come and work for me again while you still can. Oh, come on, Jan. Think of

money.

You're the best.

You had what none of us did. You actually loved the work. Hell, we even

position after you.

Emma,

get the kit.

This passenger doesn't seem to want to sit down. We're going to have to

her. Okay.

Okay, I'm going.

You're a fool, Jan.

You know that?

So, that's why you didn't want me stopping. Emma, I don't know what you've

heard, but it's all lies.

Whatever, I'm not going to say anything.

Would you give me your word?

Gossip's not my style, Janice.

Good.

Because, um, I've done a few things in my time, but, uh, I've never tried to

pass off another man's baby as my husband.

Are you threatening me?

We've both got our reputations to protect.

So you get a little mouth shot, eh?

And I'll do the same.

How dare you?

I'm not some wet -behind -the -ears trainee.

We're equal now, Janice.

You know, you go on and on about your precious job and your reputation, like

running a cabin for some two -bit airline was rocket science.

Anyone can do it, Janice.

And if I'm still up here pushing a trolley and cleaning toilets when I get

your age, I'll slip my wrists.

So why don't you do as the hooker says?

Go out and live your life.

Oh, sorry, I forgot.

You don't have one.

Okay,

Marco, your turn.

Butcher from EastEnders.

Or... Janice Steele without the E.

Who is Janice Steele?

Downstairs. She's got a chainsaw, apparently.

Chops off blood.

Come on, I said, mate.

Anyway. Will, your turn.

James Motherbound.

Or Kevin McMillan.

Well, you see, that's a little difficult. Because I've had them both.

Slut. Takes one to know one.

This house?

At least I haven't got a five -year -old secret kid at home that my mum has to

bring up because I'm too busy shagging everything that moves.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

That's enough, OK?

Leanne, here's one for you.

Me or Jason?

Oh, I'm going to have to say die.

Fine.

Where's he gone?

Oh, some party. There's so little to be at this rate, I'll have no one left.

Right, forfeit time.

What? You know the rules.

You said die, so you've got to pay a forfeit.

And your forfeit is drink a yard of vodka.

That'd be a wanker.

Come on.

What about you? You got the balls?

I don't have the one with something to blow with, would see.

Oh, I'll do it myself.

Jason,

don't.

Jason!

Ray, come on, Jason, you're freaking us out now.

Jason!

Jason!

Jesus Christ.

Oh, God, get it out!

We'll be on the window.

No!

Not really.

Bit of bad luck getting rumbled by your colleague's husband, but we cleared 500

quid in the first sector, most of it in cash, so we can afford the odd hiccup.

She seriously made 500 quid in two hours?

Cleared 65 grand last year, love.

You can charge a premium for it up here.

No one tries to rob you or rape you, because there's nowhere to run.

Time and space are so restricted, all you have to do is... Pull them off most

the time.

It's like taking candy from a bunch of big, blind babies.

Surely the purse will suss you sooner or later.

Tamsin and I spent eight years with cabin crew. We know which number ones

tolerate us.

We'll cut them in if we have to.

Yeah, well, you made a mistake with Janice Steele.

Oh, no.

Janice was our first choice at Fresh.

Her and I used to share a flat in the old days. We did everything together.

And I mean...

Why do you think she didn't stop us on the Barcelona sector?

But listen, enough about Janice.

I'm looking to expand.

I think we've got a good look.

Classy, but available.

And the kind of mouth men just dream of having wrapped around their cock.

Thanks.

You look like the kind of girl that loves the airline lifestyle but can't

on the wages, right?

I was exactly the same.

Take it.

You never know when you might want to call me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I really do need the loo.

Where the hell's the ambulance?

It's here five minutes.

Fuck. Come on.

Whoa!

Cosmo, what are you doing here?

You won't be back till tomorrow. What the fuck?

Oh, you're from the hospital.

We'll get there as soon as we can.

Hey.

My party will cry if I want to.

I'm really sorry. Look, they just barged in. I couldn't stop them. It'll never

happen again.

Oh, you're darn right.

I want you out of here within the hour.

You're sacking me.

Clever boy.

We're really sorry. We thought Dario... Darren...

He was the house boy. We better be going to... Oh, not so fast.

You see, there's still a small matter of damages.

Someone is going to have to pay for all that.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Geneva.

Thank you for flying with Fresh today, and we look forward to welcoming you on

board again very soon.

Okay, most of the crew will be changing, except Casey.

I'll be informing the person, so don't think you've got away with it. Right

little head prefect, aren't we?

Don't sweat it, love. We're getting off to you.

A couple of our clients have opted for the land -based alternatives.

See you, ladies.

Ian, nice meeting you.

Listen, if you ever find married life a little too, um, confining...

Piss off.

Where do fresh get their crew from these days?

Bye, Jan.

Nice seeing you again.

Can I have that, then? Yeah, you wish.

See you later.

You'd better go, or you'll miss the shuttle.

You've got some nerve.

Excuse me.

Looking down your nose at me, like I'm a piece of shit.

When all the time you're nothing more than a common prostitute.

So you've been listening to Emma's little lies.

It's not lies, though.

Is it, Janice?

The days of you bumping me off your flight are over.

If I turn up 15 minutes late with my skirt round my waist, black nail varnish

and hair extensions, you will let me fly.

Or...

Or the whole airline will find out that Jan is still with a dirty whore.

Now run along and catch up with your mates.

I'm sure they can rattle up some tricks for you.

Four bottles of vintage champagne at 700 euros.

I'll pluck the vodka. Two bottles, another 50.

I'm off.

And?

You owe me two weeks' money.

Two crystal goblets.

Broken. Let's call that a hundred.

I said you owe me two weeks' pay, Cosmo.

Your keys.

Now, piss off.

Right. Where were we, boys?

Look, we don't owe you anything.

We came here in good faith as guests. It was Darren that gave us the drinks.

I think you do.

We don't have 850 euros.

Right, then.

Make me an offer.

What do you mean? Oh, come on, smart boy like you ought to be able to figure it

out. Now, what have you got that I might want?

Oh, thank God.

Oh, sorry.

What did the doctor say?

I have a broken heart.

Are you serious?

No, literally.

My heart's wonky.

It's got an abnormal beat or something.

Had it all my life, apparently. Just never knew.

And that amount of alcohol hits my system all at once. I just can't cope.

Will it stop you flying?

No, nothing like that.

You're such an idiot.

Why did you do it?

I could ask you the same question.

About Dario.

Darren.

Well, you were right about him.

The moment I'd done it, I wish I hadn't.

Why did you then?

Because he was there and... I don't know.

To rub my nose, innit?

Just told me if anything were to do about you.

Yeah.

No, you can't.

I'm sorry.

I'm such a bitch.

I don't know how to explain it.

I'm used to you being the strong one.

You're always there for me.

Then suddenly, you're not.

And you're accepting stuff from me.

Stuff I can't give you.

I never meant to hurt you.

You mean so much more to me than someone like him.

I really love you.

Not the way I want.

Hey, come on.

You'll drown me all over again.

We're equal now, Janice.

You're nothing more than a common prostitute.

I've done a few things in my time, but I've never tried to pass off another

man's baby as my husband's. Are you threatening me?

It's hardly worth it for the half an hour or so it lasts.

I'm on stopover with my husband. It's our three -month anniversary.

You will let me fly.

Oh, or the whole airline will find out that Janice Steele is a dirty whore.

A little more practice, a bit less flying. You'll thrash me. Yeah, right.

Evening, boys.

Hi.

I didn't recognise you there out of uniform.

John and I were just going to go to the hotel bar for a drink.

Do you want to join us?

Yeah, that would be lovely, thank you.

You know what, actually, I'm going to pass if you don't mind. I'm really

but have a good evening.

Oh, well.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Hi, babe. Look, I won't be long. I'll be about 15 minutes.

You broke our agreement, Emma.

Janet? I've had to suffer the indignity of having Casey Gregory call me a common

prostitute. Yeah, well, that wasn't me, was it?

I don't believe you.

Thanks, Ian.

Ian's with you.

We're just having a drink and a little chat.

Put him on the phone. Don't pick him.

Your wife?

Hi, sweetheart.

Ian, listen, don't have a drink with her. Go back to the room.

Em, I can't.

It'd be rude.

I want to just pour her a drink.

Anniversaries. Um, look, I can't hit the room at this time.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Look, Marco's not gay.

Trust me, I've tried to convert him, but he's a lost cause.

Now, if you're going to have to have anyone, it's going to have to be me.

You're too over, mate.

Plus, I'm not into disfigurement. Is he suggesting what I think he is?

Yes, he is, Marco. Come on, we're leaving.

I don't think so.

So what are you going to do, eh?

Shoot me?

Run, Marco.

I mean, what hope have I got anyway?

If I can't have someone as fat and as bald and as ugly as you, then I may as

well just die now.

Live fast, die young, and die with a beautiful corpse. That's my motto.

At least I've achieved the first two, eh?

Go on.

Shoot me.

I dare you.

Can't you do it?

Well, in that case, I'm just going to have to go and drown myself.

Run, Michael, run!

Jesus!

You trolley dollies are drama queens!

Bag it!

Ian, I'm sorry about Anna losing the baby.

I was her purser on that flight, and if I'd have known she was pregnant, I would

not have let her fly.

She's going to tell him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

She's going to tell him what?

Janice, she knows about us sleeping together on the hen night. It's

everything. She's going to tell Ian.

What am I supposed to do? She's just trying to wind you up. Not Janice.

Maybe it was for the best.

I don't think she was ready to have a baby.

I was wondering about that.

I mean...

Why else would you fly in that condition?

If you're sure, go and find him and tell him yourself.

I can't.

If he's going to find out anyway, it's much better coming from you. Now go!

You must have been beside yourself with worry when you knew she was on that

flight.

With him.

With who?

Ian, I'm so sorry.

I thought you knew.

You what?

Oh, er, it's nothing. It's probably briefing room gossip.

You know, just because they were living together and then he came back to fresh

on the day of a hen night.

It was probably just a coincidence, but you know what people are like. They put

two and two together and they come up with five.

Ian, don't listen to her.

What are these rumours about your hen night?

Who's this man you used to live with that I don't know anything about?

Janice, please don't do this.

Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?

I'd better leave you two alone.

Get your hands off me. You had to open your big fat mouth, didn't you?

You evil fucking bitch.

You and him?

Take a notice of her.

You and him?

Fuck. Christ.

It's a baby.

No.

No.

All this time it's been staring me in the face.

And I didn't see it.

Ian, come on. It's time.

Ian.

Please. Let go.

Ian. I'll pick up my stuff from the flat.

Ian, please don't do this.

It's already done.

No, no, no, no. Ian, please, I'll do anything. No, no. Just tell me.

Now I inhale the fun. Now it's time for me to get on top of

the world.

Just the world is mine.

And I'm feeling.