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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,121 You shouldn't be out after dark. 2 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:43,667 Don't you know what town this is? 3 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:48,131 Yes, run. We enjoy it. 4 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:57,474 Perhaps it is you who should not be out after dark. 5 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,975 Yes, run! 6 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:04,980 Well, well, well, well. 7 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,899 No, no, no, no, no! 8 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,900 Please, please, please! 9 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,238 It was just a joke. See? Eh? 10 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:20,163 Fake vampires? Tourists. 11 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,168 The festival has only begun. 12 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,170 There is a vampire in this town 13 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,047 and we are going to find him. 14 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:44,853 The Talisman of Ordo goes under jewelry. 15 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:48,023 And the Dancing Dragon's pearl flute, 16 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,358 file it under musical instruments. 17 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,818 This is the epitome of dullness. 18 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,653 We should be out there right now 19 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,071 fighting evildoers. 20 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,615 That pendulum... 21 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,493 ...is going to go off any minute. 22 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,245 The pendulum hasn't gone off in over a week. 23 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,746 Look, I don't like doing this just as much as you do, 24 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,123 but we have to get it done. 25 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,083 And for the last time, 26 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,501 stop playing with the Golden Banshee of Kearny. 27 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,378 What happens if the banshee banshees? 28 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,630 Well, technically, heads could explode. 29 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:15,426 Which is why Mrs. Astolat wants everything safely stored in the main library. 30 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:19,972 Bleh! The artifacts are fine and Elaine can kiss my Astolat. 31 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,434 Wait, circle back. What do we do with the ones that could make your head explode? 32 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,561 Those are filed in the restricted section, 33 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,814 with fail-safes placed over them so they can't cause trouble if they get out. 34 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,858 Fail-safes? Like what? 35 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:35,404 Well, the Golden Banshee will go in a soundproof box. 36 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,866 Medusa's head will have a bag over it. 37 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,493 We're not idiots. 38 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,121 What's idiotic is that you promised that before the six months Stone gave you was over, 39 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:47,583 you'd catalog all these artifacts and put them back where they belong. 40 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,336 Almost over, but we've only been here... 41 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,301 Uh, can Connor and I take this to Mrs. Astolat in the main library? 42 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,677 -We've never been. -For good reason. 43 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,847 You are not a Librarian. Security will have your head. 44 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,016 Ah, remind me. 45 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,810 Down the left hall, third door on the right. 46 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:12,191 -Sorry, which door? Thank you. -Third door on the right. 47 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,860 Wow, has it really almost been six months? 48 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,112 Yeah, feels like we just got started. 49 00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,448 And when it's over, you two will go back to your normal lives, 50 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,034 and Vik will just become another artifact in the Library. 51 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,620 Hmm. The future waits for no man. 52 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,663 That reminds me, I have to go wait for my broker. 53 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,290 You selling the castle? 54 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,958 Like your friend Suki suggested? 55 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,086 Uh, yeah. 56 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,922 I know she didn't express it the right way, but she had a point. 57 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,049 This can't go on forever. 58 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,593 So we have to plan. I have an IPO to launch. 59 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,137 It needs capital to get off the ground, 60 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,765 and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. 61 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:48,644 Got it. We'll stay out of your way when the broker's here. 62 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,480 Excuse me. Sorry. 63 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,607 I didn't think you'd be so eager to break up the band. 64 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,442 Who said anything about breaking up the band? 65 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,070 I'm gonna need high-level security for my company. 66 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,905 I'm a Guardian. 67 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:05,077 Yeah, but who are you gonna guard if Vikram's stuck in the Library? 68 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,914 Think about it, okay? 69 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,644 You know you're setting that for a basement in Queens right now. 70 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,188 -It's not what it looks like. -It looks like after realizing 71 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,399 our time in the Library is limited, 72 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,318 you're using the door to go somewhere you'll never have a chance to go again. 73 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,819 Okay, it is what it looks like. 74 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,904 -You can't just run off somewhere. -Why not? 75 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,782 Lysa's off doing the broker thing. The pendulum's quiet. 76 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:47,536 You want to come? Once in a lifetime opportunity. 77 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:51,457 I can't. I have to make sure Vikram finishes cataloging. 78 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:54,543 Finally making progress. 79 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,047 Aah! Charlie! We have to do that last box again. 80 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,549 Last three, actually. 81 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:04,262 Curious, where'd you say you're going again? 82 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:12,352 -Welcome to Kisiljevo. -It's a village festival. Cute. 83 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,813 It's not just a village festival. 84 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,735 -It's a vampire festival. -And here you will see 85 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,863 a large assortment of garlic pastries, 86 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:26,659 because nothing wards off a bloodsucker like bad breath. 87 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:30,829 Garlic, fangs, t-shirts that say "I went to a vampire festival 88 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,625 and all I got was this neck wound and strange bout of anemia"? 89 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,419 Kisiljevo is the birthplace of vampires. 90 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,837 -The birthplace? -Yup. 91 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,964 This town has the first recorded sighting of a vampire 92 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,549 way back in the 1700s. 93 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,593 In fact, "vampyr," no "E", 94 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,846 is the most well-known Serbian word in the world. 95 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,848 I thought vampires were older than that. 96 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,559 -What about Dracula? -Yeah, he was a vampire. 97 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,105 But they didn't write about him until the 1800s as a fictionalized novel. 98 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,984 The first recorded newspaper article of a vampire was in Kisiljevo, 99 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,196 when a farmer, Petar Blagojavic died, was buried, 100 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:08,075 and then walked into his house and demanded his wife give him a new pair of shoes. 101 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,286 -It's quite a story. -I know. I wrote a paper on it. 102 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,455 The townsfolk dug him up the next day, 103 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,332 put a stake through his heart, chopped his head off... 104 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,918 due diligence... and that was that. 105 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,421 No, it wasn't. Otherwise, the paper would be really short. 106 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:25,467 Yeah. I dug up records in the following months and years of deaths that fit a pattern. 107 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:29,555 I posited that Petar Blagojavic was still among us. 108 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,640 -And then? -And then I lost all credibility 109 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,058 and was laughed out of Stuttgart. 110 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,476 Bloody snow cones! 111 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,730 -Hey, blood snow cone? -Yeah. 112 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,151 -Actually, it's cherry. -It better be. 113 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,070 -For you? -Yes, please. Thank you. 114 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,698 -All right. -Cheers. 115 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,826 Garlic! Garlic! Don't miss the garlic! 116 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,537 Hey, hey! My friend. Come, come, come, come. Come here. 117 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,539 -Ah. -Look, look, look. Look what I have. 118 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,541 -Ooh, it's pungent, yeah. -Do you know where... 119 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,668 Yeah, it's there. 120 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,090 Mm. No, sorry. 121 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,926 How much for this one? 5,000? 122 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,637 This book's, like, 50 years out of date. 123 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,182 That's how you kill a vampire. 124 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,726 -500. -It's not even hardwood. 125 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,228 Come on, come on. 300? 300? It's a bargain. 126 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,194 You know, thanks for inviting me today. 127 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,821 It's been a really nice break. 128 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:31,867 -But... -Oh, there's a but? No buts, please. 129 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,703 But I don't think you're gonna find your vampire here. 130 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,956 At least not in the middle of the day amongst all these tourists. 131 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:42,711 Actually, there are rumors of a commune of day walking vampires in California. 132 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:46,548 But if you did find one, you could rub it in the face 133 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,385 of all those academics who booted you. 134 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,553 The thought had occurred to me. 135 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,556 And now we go to the Kisiljevo Keep. Please keep up. 136 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,935 They cut my pay if one of you gets eaten. 137 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,855 So is that what you're gonna do once the six months is up? 138 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,024 -Back to academia? -It would be amazing 139 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,694 if we could stay with the Library, but that's not gonna happen. 140 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,779 I burned my online following. 141 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,948 If Academia was forced to take me seriously, at least I'd have that. 142 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:15,661 You know? What about you? You gonna be Lysa's head of security? 143 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,748 To be honest, I hadn't even thought about leaving Vikram until she brought it up. 144 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:23,210 Even if Jacob Stone and the other Librarians stick him on a shelf? 145 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,546 If anyone could get in trouble just sitting on a shelf... 146 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,259 Speaking of. 147 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:34,763 It's Mrs. A, and she's using a lot of capital letters. 148 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,474 -Oh. -We should get back. 149 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,934 You know where we came in the door? 150 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,436 Yeah, just inside the castle keep 151 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,271 near the vampire memorabilia room. 152 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,733 Ooh. I'm gonna run back and get a snow cone. You want one? 153 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,277 Uh, yeah. Extra bloody, please. 154 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,030 I'll text Lysa we're on our way. 155 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,724 No way. 156 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,244 Aah! Aah! 157 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,546 -Connor? Connor? -There you are. 158 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,592 Mrs. A was getting rather piqued you weren't here to correct my alphabetizing, 159 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,095 even though the alphabet hasn't changed! 160 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,514 -Connor, is he here? -I thought he was with you. 161 00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,517 He was. I lost him. 162 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,394 I knew he'd never come through the magic door without me. 163 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:06,063 But I've searched all of Kisiljevo. He's nowhere. 164 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,148 You've been to Kisiljevo? 165 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,025 I didn't know what it was until I got there. 166 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,653 But it was fun. There was snow cones and t-shirts. 167 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,698 And we got separated and now he's not answering his phone. 168 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,075 Are you telling me you went to the birthplace of vampires 169 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,327 -and did not take any vampire protection? -No. 170 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:23,831 A crossbow, a vial of holy water, a stake? 171 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,458 Ooh, I did buy this. 172 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,130 It's not even hardwood. 173 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,549 Where's Lysa? 174 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,593 She is selling off the last of her family inheritance. 175 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:39,431 You're stuck with me. Ah. 176 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,936 -Oh. -We still have a few hours of daylight left. 177 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:51,066 Hopefully we can get Connor before that town turns into a blood-soaked bacchanalia. 178 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,235 No. 179 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,240 Hmm. Ha! 180 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,995 Needs sharpening. 181 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,259 Well, we have a lot to do here. 182 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,678 -You're Lysa? -Uh, yeah. 183 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,680 I'm from the agency. 184 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,641 Um, do you know what this stone is? 185 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,852 Uh, no. I'm not sure. 186 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,562 Not a problem. We can just ask the builder. 187 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,147 It's a castle. 188 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,941 The builder's been dead for nearly a millennia. 189 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,861 Original stonework. 190 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,654 That's how we'll put it in the listing. 191 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,448 Yeah. Thank you so much for coming. 192 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,826 I can appreciate that there aren't many buyers for a castle, 193 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,536 especially one without modern wiring, 194 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,247 plumbing, heating, cooling, or insulation. 195 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,793 But don't forget what it does have. 196 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:53,545 Drafts, mold, a working museum... 197 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,048 which is unique to say the least. 198 00:11:56,049 --> 00:12:00,886 Don't worry. We'll turn every minus into a plus. 199 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,097 Shall we start with the turrets? 200 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,891 Uh... 201 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,980 It's all right. It's all right. 202 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,565 It's a sports drink. Electrolytes. 203 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,733 You'll need them. See? 204 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,360 Wait, wait. Who are you? Where am I? 205 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:20,197 I'm Petar, and, well, this... this is my place. 206 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,533 You took a nasty blow to your head. 207 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,661 Charlie. My friend. 208 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:29,373 -Where is she? -Yeah, your phone took a nasty blow, too, 209 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:34,294 -and you were alone when you fell. -I fell? 210 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,257 I was climbing the wall because I saw... 211 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,427 -I saw you. -What, me? 212 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,096 No, no, no, no, no. I just found you. 213 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,474 That's it. So, um... oh, jeez! 214 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,227 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. 215 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,938 Usually, I stay in my apartment during the festival, 216 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,774 but I ran out of O-positive, and corn chips. 217 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,027 So I nipped out in the afternoon shadows to the store. 218 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,904 With all those vampire hunters out there this year, it seemed the safest. 219 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,490 You're a vampire? A real one? 220 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:08,287 Shh. You really think Mrs. Kulik upstairs needs to know that? 221 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,248 -Just, uh... just stay back. -Oh, come on. 222 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,959 Listen, you're the one who chased after me. 223 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,294 I thought you might be a vampire hunter, 224 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,921 and I hissed a little and scared you. 225 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:21,759 -And you fell. -So a vampire saved my life? 226 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,388 Well, yeah. Well, technically, yes. 227 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,310 A vampire who's a real sneaker head. 228 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:37,649 Stokerian lore says as a vampire must maintain a connection to their homeland. 229 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,443 Dracula famously traveled with Transylvanian dirt. 230 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:42,154 That always seemed like a lot to me. I just keep a lease. 231 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,114 -You're from Kisiljevo? -Mm-hmm. 232 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,407 So you're not just a vampire. 233 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,118 You're Petar Blagojavic, who rose from the dead 234 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,287 and asked his wife for his pair of shoes! 235 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,831 You're the first vampire ever recorded. 236 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,043 -That is so cool! -Yes, yes. 237 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,046 -Suck it, Stuttgart! -Uh, please sit. 238 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,590 Um, I am the first vampire, 239 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:07,137 and I'm afraid you will soon become the latest. 240 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,847 What do you mean? 241 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,643 Well, you fell really, really, really hard. 242 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,811 And I thought the only way 243 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,688 to save you was, well, you know... 244 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,897 You bit me? 245 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:21,068 The... 246 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,195 Wait, hold... hold on. There's only one hole. 247 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,863 I only got one fang. See? 248 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,491 The other one was removed, like, ages ago. 249 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,618 In the late Victorian era, when vampires were all the rage, 250 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,454 there were rumors that taking out a vampire's tooth would cure them. 251 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,540 Yeah, it didn't work, unfortunately. 252 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,375 It only cured the cure. 253 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:40,296 Um, corn chip? 254 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,426 Right. Where are we? 255 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:48,387 Just inside the gate to the keep. 256 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,222 The festival's down in the main square. 257 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,724 -Festival? -Yeah. 258 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,600 Why anyone would celebrate a vampire is beyond me. 259 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,645 They are not happy little elves leaving pots of gold 260 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,480 or intoxicating drinks. No. 261 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:02,026 If you ever met a vampire, you would be eaten. 262 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:05,195 Yeah, well, I'm really hoping that's not what happened to Connor. 263 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,489 Vampires can't go out in the open. 264 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,242 If he has been taken, he's being held inside, 265 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,411 assuming he hasn't been exsanguinated already. 266 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,581 Yeah, well, let's assume he hasn't. 267 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,250 Why did you go with Connor, anyway? 268 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,420 Impulse. I shouldn't have abandoned you. 269 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,797 Leaving me to Mrs. A's infernal devices. 270 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,549 That's not what I mean. 271 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,718 You're my charge, sir, the one I'm meant to protect, 272 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:29,428 and now you're in just as much jeopardy as he is. 273 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:33,390 -Charlie, I appreciated your... -Lysa offered me a job. 274 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,225 There's something I should tell you. 275 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,271 There is someone behind you right now about to put a bag over your head. 276 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,274 What did you mean when you said removing the teeth 277 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,235 -cured the cure? -Right, so... oh, jeez. 278 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,280 Man, I bit my lip. Happens all the time. So where were we? 279 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,574 Oh, yes, vampire physiology. 280 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,910 So with both teeth, you can recirculate the blood, 281 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,870 meaning you can drink without turning anyone into a vampire. 282 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:59,792 With one tooth, no recirculation, so baby vampire. 283 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:04,588 I haven't bitten anyone since blood banks were invented, so it was moot until now. 284 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,925 Yeah, I didn't know that, and I know a lot about vampires. 285 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,969 Well, I suppose it's tough to study vampiric bodily systems 286 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,262 since we turn into ash when we die. 287 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,390 It doesn't leave a lot to dissect. 288 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,808 Are you sure you don't want any food? 289 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:19,436 You're gonna be starving once you change completely. 290 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:22,272 -Wait, hold on, am I not a vampire yet? -You are. 291 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,818 It's just your vampirism isn't permanent until the first nightfall. 292 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,445 Most of the people get bitten at night, so this isn't an issue. 293 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,323 So there's a window. I still have time to go to the Library 294 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:36,120 -and maybe find a way... -Are you mad? 295 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,955 It's still day outside. We'll both burn up. 296 00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:39,790 Well, I can't just sit here and wait to develop 297 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,960 -an insatiable blood lust. -Listen, I'm sorry, okay? 298 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:46,797 I'm so sorry, but without my other tooth, there's nothing we can do. 299 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:50,467 Please, let's just... listen. Let's just chill. 300 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,803 Watch some TV. I have more snacks. 301 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:56,433 Do you have any idea what happened to your tooth? 302 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,436 Actually, I do. 303 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,858 Yeah. 304 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,192 Are you all right, sir? 305 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,195 Other than these cursed bindings, fine. 306 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,698 Do not worry. 307 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,325 Soon enough, you will be free... 308 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:19,330 of all your curses. 309 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,461 Hello, vampyr. 310 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,885 He's not. He's a normal person. 311 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,345 Piff and tosh, I tell you. 312 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:37,264 Okay, normal might be a stretch, but he's not a vampire. 313 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,141 Silence, little familiar. 314 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,185 We know you're on his thrall. 315 00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,228 -His what? -You called him sir, 316 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,147 spoke of your lifetime of devotion and service. 317 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,442 Having someone pledge eternal loyalty does not make me a vampire. 318 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,194 You speak like a vampyr. 319 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,530 Dress like a vampyr. Your coat. 320 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:02,707 Stanislav and Sons, Belgrade. 321 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,379 Stanislav and Sons closed in the late 19th century. 322 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,839 Damn. I'll never get those cuffs adjusted. 323 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,050 Isn't there a simpler way to test if he's a vampire? 324 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:16,053 -Hmm. -A stake. 325 00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,304 Stab him. 326 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:21,392 And if he turns to dust, he's a vampire. 327 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,727 And if I don't, I'm still alarmingly dead. 328 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,231 The sun. It's still daylight. 329 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,983 You take me outside and this will all be settled very quickly. 330 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:33,570 It's a trick. He must be able to walk in the day. 331 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,572 -Like "Blade." -Or "Twilight." 332 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,283 -Or "The Vampire Diaries." -What nonsense do you speak of? 333 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,411 Vampires cannot walk in the sun. 334 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:43,372 Actually, sir, there's rumors of a commune in California. 335 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,083 Not helping. 336 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,378 Dude, these cloaks are amazing. 337 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,797 Is it a Minerva shroud imbued by a witch? 338 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,590 Do you know how much Minerva shroud costs? 339 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,427 Nah, this is the same material as my blackout curtains. 340 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,637 And they work great. See? No sun gets through. 341 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,639 You know, I never thought how modern tech 342 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,851 improved the lives of the undead. 343 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:07,479 Yeah. My favorite? Shock absorbing insoles. 344 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,148 They're like magic. 345 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,941 You know, I have a friend who says 346 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,652 magic is just science we don't understand yet. 347 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,822 I wonder what she'll make of my imminent vampirism. 348 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,407 You shouldn't tell your friends about what's happening. 349 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,076 My friends are smart. They can help. 350 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:25,122 When I changed, nobody knew what was going on, least of all me. 351 00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:28,500 My friends tried to help and I... 352 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,793 I just couldn't control myself. 353 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,629 And you won't be able to either. 354 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,048 So if you truly care about them, 355 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,424 until we retrieve my tooth, 356 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,052 it's better to keep your distance. 357 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,721 Then let's get that tooth. You sure you know where you're going? 358 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:44,808 Of course. I traded my tooth for safe passage across a bridge. 359 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,853 Who do you trade a tooth to at a bridge? 360 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,522 Unless they live under the bridge. 361 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,107 No way. We're gonna meet a troll? 362 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,235 You're getting way too excited. 363 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,863 I have a plan. 364 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,532 We find a way to distract the extremely serious leader 365 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,743 and you take out the rest of them one by one. 366 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,245 Why didn't you react when I told you Lysa offered me a job? 367 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,997 This is hardly the time. 368 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:11,335 You also didn't seem at all worried about Lysa selling the castle. 369 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,587 I don't care what Lysa does with the castle. It's hers. 370 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,965 It's your access to the Annex. 371 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,678 Do you know something about our future I don't? 372 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:30,187 We have agreed on an appropriate test of your vampiric nature. 373 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,314 Oh, God, not garlic. 374 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,066 The pungent flavoring of the peasantry. 375 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,818 May I interject? 376 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,528 We've been tied to these chairs for a while now 377 00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,738 and I really need to use the bathroom. 378 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,951 -Don't pull that with us. -I may be enthralled, but my bladder isn't. 379 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,537 I need to go. 380 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,960 -What are you doing? -Executing your plan. 381 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:04,638 -Ow. -Not ow. Say ahh. 382 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,975 Well, you could at least make it a choo-choo train, hmm? 383 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,893 Ahh... 384 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:14,606 No funny business. 385 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,068 Just regular business. 386 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:22,906 What's with these small-minded men? 387 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,743 It's bloodlust this, bloodlust that. 388 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:28,954 Do you ever get a vacation? A break? 389 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:32,167 A boot up the side of the head? 390 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,757 You sure this is the right bridge? 391 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:41,800 It's pretty quiet out here. 392 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,510 Sure, I'm sure. 393 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,304 I mean, it is a little bit hard to see through, 394 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,098 what is this... sports section? 395 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:49,767 But you never forget a bridge you had to cross 396 00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,810 in the dead of night during World War II. 397 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,771 -Running from the Germans? -No, no. 398 00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,939 No, I was shaving ten minutes off my commute. 399 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:59,318 Of course I was running from the Wehrmacht. 400 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:02,279 You've seen quite a lot in your time, haven't you? 401 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,658 Look, if this doesn't work out, 402 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,576 it isn't so bad being a vampire. 403 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:10,287 I mean, your life's your own, and you get to travel. 404 00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:13,707 -I've been everywhere. -Huh. 405 00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:18,337 I know I come off as a go with the flow type, 406 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:21,590 but there are things I'd miss. 407 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,843 I finally got to a place where I feel I should be 408 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,805 with a great group of people, and... 409 00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:32,142 It doesn't matter, 410 00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:34,229 'cause I don't get to have that future anyway. 411 00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:38,524 Well, the future doesn't worry me. 412 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,527 If I miss out on something, I'm just patient. 413 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,237 Huh. 414 00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,197 Whoa, whoa. 415 00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,573 Definitely the right bridge. 416 00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,493 Whoa! Chill, man. Chill. 417 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:55,416 How dare you disturb my peace, you peace disturber? 418 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:57,626 -We just have a question. -Question? 419 00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,253 I don't answer questions. 420 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:04,383 I stomp and I crush bones 421 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,719 and, uh, uh... 422 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,263 Do you, uh, need a minute or... 423 00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:12,599 I'm sorry, man. I haven't done this in a while. 424 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,893 Nobody comes over this bridge anymore. 425 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:19,606 -Stupid expressway. -Okay, I'll make it quick. 426 00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,276 During World War II, you acquired a vampire fang. 427 00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:26,780 I can't even transition to the new line of work since I lost my phone. 428 00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:29,825 -New line of work? -Yes, online trolling. 429 00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:33,579 It's the only growth industry for us trolls, you know. 430 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,913 I'm sorry, I'll crush your bones now. 431 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,708 -Come on. -How about I trade? 432 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:40,627 That's what trolls do, right? 433 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:43,005 You could do a lot of damage with this. 434 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:47,134 Oh, the fang. Stolen from me ages ago. 435 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:51,138 Someone building a memorabilia collection to attract tourists. 436 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,891 Now give me that phone or I will crash your bones. 437 00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:03,984 It's at the keep in Kisiljevo. Let's go. 438 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:05,778 No, no, no, no. We can't go in there. 439 00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:07,071 -Drive as we talk. Let's go. -You don't understand. 440 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:08,947 That's where the vampire hunters are holed up. 441 00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:13,285 Hey! Hey! 442 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,412 This is broken! 443 00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:19,458 -I will end you now! -Just drive! 444 00:24:24,255 --> 00:24:27,299 And now you can see different tools people use 445 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:31,053 to try to kill the vampire of Kisiljevo. 446 00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:33,847 Ooh, spooky. 447 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:38,060 Hey, um, I heard there were vampire teeth here. 448 00:24:38,061 --> 00:24:39,354 Real ones. 449 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:44,608 Well, not anymore. 450 00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:48,278 So if you follow me into the next chamber, 451 00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:52,866 you'll discover that we never called an exterminator for our bat problem. 452 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:55,369 "F. Carsen, F. Carsen." 453 00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:57,122 Flynn Carsen! The Librarian. 454 00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:00,208 The tooth is in the Library. 455 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,172 Ivan is getting anxious. 456 00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,300 How long do women take in the bathroom? 457 00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,847 You can fill me in later on what happened to you 458 00:25:14,848 --> 00:25:17,141 and why you're wearing a cloak. 459 00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:19,018 Right now, we need to save Vikram. 460 00:25:19,019 --> 00:25:20,561 -Wait, Vik's here? -Yeah. 461 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,521 And for some reason, the vampire hunters 462 00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:26,191 have a hunch he's from a different century, and therefore undead. 463 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:29,653 -Let's move. -I'm sorry. I can't help you. 464 00:25:29,654 --> 00:25:31,155 What are you talking about? 465 00:25:31,156 --> 00:25:33,157 I need to do something, and you're not gonna like it, 466 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:35,409 but if I don't, I could hurt you. 467 00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:39,330 Connor, why are you so afraid? 468 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:44,543 Hey, guys! She's right here! 469 00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:46,171 I'm sorry. 470 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,857 The magic door! 471 00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:29,380 I haven't seen spiders like that outside of the zoo! 472 00:26:29,381 --> 00:26:33,258 -Yeah, the attic is... -Infested? Don't worry. 473 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:37,721 -We'll use the word "rustic". -But the rest of the place? 474 00:26:37,722 --> 00:26:40,057 Oh, it's a fixer, for sure. 475 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:42,476 But it's... it's more than that. 476 00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:49,483 Sure, it's old and drafty and rustic, but it's also home. 477 00:26:49,484 --> 00:26:53,821 -Home? -Homey. Home-like. 478 00:26:53,822 --> 00:26:57,116 You know, the place where you feel the most yourself. 479 00:26:57,117 --> 00:26:59,243 And everyone else feels the same, 480 00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:01,745 and you're just... you're all in it together. 481 00:27:01,746 --> 00:27:04,498 But I thought you were the sole owner. 482 00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,834 I am. I... 483 00:27:06,835 --> 00:27:10,296 But it's like when you're in a band. 484 00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:16,343 Ah, 36007-R, section V. 485 00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:20,931 See, the buyer I had in mind wouldn't want to deal with multiple owners. 486 00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:23,308 -You already have a buyer? -A former client asked me 487 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:26,437 to keep an eye out to add to his portfolio. 488 00:27:26,438 --> 00:27:29,315 But I would hurry, because he's looking at... 489 00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:31,984 Is that a wine cellar? 490 00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:35,446 -Wine cellars are very popular. -No. No, no. 491 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:39,491 You don't want to go in there. No, it is covered in mold. 492 00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:41,702 -36007. -Uh... 493 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:44,038 Third door on the right. 494 00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:47,499 It stinks. Like, uh, bad cheese. 495 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:48,500 Come on. 496 00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:51,963 Ugh. 497 00:27:53,673 --> 00:27:55,382 It seems you don't like garlic. 498 00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:57,968 Not when you keep shoving entire bulbs in my mouth. 499 00:27:57,969 --> 00:27:59,803 Am I a Sunday roast? 500 00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:01,638 You're not helping your case, vampire. 501 00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:03,557 Why is there a case at all? 502 00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:06,352 If it was up to me, 503 00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:08,479 I would do away with you right now. 504 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,649 But my fellow hunters don't have my natural-born instincts. 505 00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:15,861 Hmph. You are as maddeningly obtuse as you are imposingly large. 506 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:17,322 Hmm? 507 00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:24,496 Ah! Natural-born instincts, you say? How's that? 508 00:28:25,997 --> 00:28:28,415 My family has hunted vampires for centuries, 509 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:32,003 and now it is my turn to take up the mantle. 510 00:28:33,797 --> 00:28:36,548 Living up to family expectations can be a lot of pressure. 511 00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:42,096 The name Van Helsing carries a lot of weight, but nothing I cannot handle. 512 00:28:42,097 --> 00:28:46,809 And you and your familiar are not going to stop me... 513 00:28:46,810 --> 00:28:49,353 But we can stop you finishing that sentence. You took your time. 514 00:28:49,354 --> 00:28:51,355 Nice girls chat in the ladies retirement room? 515 00:28:51,356 --> 00:28:54,233 I ran into Connor. Something's wrong. 516 00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:57,195 He went through the magic door and closed it behind him. 517 00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:05,036 You eat the garlic. 518 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,623 How do we escape if Connor locked the door? 519 00:29:09,624 --> 00:29:11,875 I have a car. 520 00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:13,836 What? No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. I'm not one of those guys. 521 00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:19,341 I'm Petar. I'm a friend of Connor's. Heard you mention him. 522 00:29:19,342 --> 00:29:22,010 -Are you Charlie? -Yeah. 523 00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:24,388 No, weirdly, I believe him because of the cape. 524 00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:26,432 I helped him get to the castle, but I got worried 525 00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,267 something happened to him once he didn't come out. 526 00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:30,853 -Do you know where he is? -He's, um... he's not here. 527 00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:34,565 You mentioned something about a vehicle. 528 00:29:34,566 --> 00:29:37,276 Yes, uh, it's, um, this way. 529 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:39,945 Okay. 530 00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:43,575 Oh, wait, no. This way. It's this way. 531 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,185 Oh, uh... 532 00:30:16,274 --> 00:30:19,109 Oh, uh, hi. 533 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,988 Excalibur? Seriously? 534 00:30:22,989 --> 00:30:26,325 Okay, uh, we'll revisit this. 535 00:30:26,326 --> 00:30:29,161 Do you know where I can find row 36007-R, section V? 536 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:33,708 Thanks. 537 00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:41,799 -I think you should consider that job from Lysa. -Why? 538 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,469 You asked me if I knew anything about the future, and I do. 539 00:30:45,470 --> 00:30:49,723 I don't think the Library will have a use for you. Neither will I. 540 00:30:49,724 --> 00:30:51,600 Um, I hate to interrupt, 541 00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:53,644 but I think we're back where we began. 542 00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:57,022 Well, these medieval castles are always circuitous. 543 00:30:57,023 --> 00:31:00,192 I remember in Blarney, in Ireland, and I... 544 00:31:00,193 --> 00:31:03,238 -...will save the rest of that story for later. -It is time to end this. 545 00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,681 Halt, thief. 546 00:31:31,141 --> 00:31:33,518 Security really would have my head. 547 00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:38,689 lest your head make my axe a meal. 548 00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:41,900 That's quite a rhyme, but I'm not a thief. 549 00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:43,027 I work for the Library. 550 00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:44,737 Answer me these riddles three 551 00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:46,613 to prove you are no enemy. 552 00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,240 Okay, I can do riddles. 553 00:31:48,241 --> 00:31:51,535 What building do you enter blind but come out seeing? 554 00:31:51,536 --> 00:31:53,829 Ooh, uh, a school. 555 00:31:53,830 --> 00:31:56,248 You got to dig deeper than ancient Sumerian to stump me. 556 00:31:56,249 --> 00:31:59,960 What fruit is of greatest use in history? 557 00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:02,212 Well, the apple is the fruit of knowledge, 558 00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:04,548 but is that history or religion? 559 00:32:04,549 --> 00:32:07,426 If we're talking history, then what dates do we include? 560 00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:08,927 Dates. 561 00:32:08,928 --> 00:32:10,763 The date is a fruit with greatest use in history. 562 00:32:10,764 --> 00:32:13,807 I am on a roll. Hit me! Number three, baby, come on. 563 00:32:13,808 --> 00:32:16,894 What is the chemical equation for photosynthesis? 564 00:32:16,895 --> 00:32:18,729 What? That's not a riddle. 565 00:32:18,730 --> 00:32:21,398 Uh, photosynthesis. 566 00:32:21,399 --> 00:32:26,236 Uh, that's carbon dioxide, water, and, um... 567 00:32:26,237 --> 00:32:30,074 -Something happens? -Photosynthesis. 568 00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:33,077 Uh, 6H2O plus 6CO2 569 00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:38,458 converted via light energy to C6H12O6 plus 6O2. 570 00:32:42,295 --> 00:32:43,712 -What? -I saw you head to the main Library, 571 00:32:43,713 --> 00:32:45,839 and I thought something was up, so I ditched the broker. 572 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,092 Uh, what's going on? 573 00:32:48,093 --> 00:32:50,803 Oh, uh, just keep a distance. 574 00:32:50,804 --> 00:32:52,930 -Why, are you contagious? -No, no, no, 575 00:32:52,931 --> 00:32:54,848 but I'll be better when I get this where it needs to be. 576 00:32:54,849 --> 00:32:57,351 Okay, and what is this? 577 00:32:57,352 --> 00:32:58,977 Can you just trust me when I say it's important? 578 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,146 Yeah, I mean, of course I trust you. 579 00:33:01,147 --> 00:33:04,108 Why else would I want to hire you? 580 00:33:04,109 --> 00:33:05,651 I thought that was just for Charlie. 581 00:33:05,652 --> 00:33:07,903 No. No, I don't want to break up the band. 582 00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:10,906 Speaking of, where is everyone else? 583 00:33:10,907 --> 00:33:15,495 Oh, yeah, um, they're likely about to be murdered by vampire hunters. 584 00:33:17,664 --> 00:33:18,665 What? 585 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:31,635 -That way. -Follow me outside 586 00:33:31,636 --> 00:33:34,221 for an unscheduled vampire beheading ceremony 587 00:33:34,222 --> 00:33:36,181 that nobody at the office told me about, 588 00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,725 but I'm sure it's completely safe. 589 00:33:37,726 --> 00:33:39,143 Uh, Connor? 590 00:33:39,144 --> 00:33:40,894 I think we might actually want to go that way. 591 00:33:40,895 --> 00:33:43,480 Outside? 592 00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:46,859 Yeah, what... what is it? What's wrong? 593 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:49,404 Never mind. Let's go. 594 00:33:53,158 --> 00:33:56,160 We have rooted out the festering evil 595 00:33:56,161 --> 00:33:59,747 that has haunted this town and his familiars. 596 00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:01,999 -Familiars? -Talking about us. 597 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,959 Long story, but the good news 598 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:07,379 is these stocks are old and rusty. 599 00:34:07,380 --> 00:34:10,884 Okay, what now? Connor? 600 00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:13,969 Uh, yeah, you go distract him. 601 00:34:13,970 --> 00:34:16,514 -I'm gonna go around. -Okay. 602 00:34:21,353 --> 00:34:25,439 I am not a vampire. I am literally in the sun. 603 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,524 Uh, yeah. He is literally in the sun. 604 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:29,360 That's a bit of an anachronism. 605 00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:32,279 We've been over this. Daywalking vampires. 606 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,074 -Like "Blade." -Or "Twilight." 607 00:34:35,075 --> 00:34:36,367 Or "The Vampire Diaries." 608 00:34:36,368 --> 00:34:41,372 Yeah, but light energy converts matter, 609 00:34:41,373 --> 00:34:43,040 like photosynthesis. 610 00:34:43,041 --> 00:34:45,125 And therefore vampires would be affected. 611 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:49,338 -What are you talking about? -Well, light energy passes 612 00:34:49,339 --> 00:34:53,258 through the epidermis to nerve endings with no effect. 613 00:34:53,259 --> 00:34:56,805 -So, Vikram can't be a vampire. -Oh. 614 00:34:58,515 --> 00:35:01,809 How did you know his name? 615 00:35:01,810 --> 00:35:05,145 Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 616 00:35:05,146 --> 00:35:06,272 I can explain. 617 00:35:09,234 --> 00:35:10,819 -Don't touch her. -Oh, thank God. 618 00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:23,789 I got your tooth. I need you to bite me. 619 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:24,999 Connor, look. 620 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:30,212 No more enthralling, foul demon. 621 00:35:30,213 --> 00:35:31,923 No. No. 622 00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:37,845 Oh, no. 623 00:35:37,846 --> 00:35:39,722 Oh, no. Oh, no, no! No! 624 00:35:39,723 --> 00:35:42,057 No, no! No, no, no, no, no! 625 00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:45,310 Not the sun. Not the sun. Not the sun! Not the sun! 626 00:35:45,311 --> 00:35:47,855 Oh, no! Not... not the sun. 627 00:35:47,856 --> 00:35:49,441 Wait, what? 628 00:35:51,651 --> 00:35:53,235 Wait, why am I not burning up in the sun? 629 00:35:53,236 --> 00:35:55,321 Because you're not a vampire. 630 00:35:55,322 --> 00:35:56,989 Were you under the impression that you were? 631 00:35:56,990 --> 00:35:58,490 -Yes. -Hmm. 632 00:35:58,491 --> 00:36:03,955 Petar told me that... 633 00:36:13,089 --> 00:36:15,675 I can't believe it worked. 634 00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:28,187 Thank you, you foolish wannabe Librarian. 635 00:36:28,188 --> 00:36:31,649 I'm finally back to my true self, 636 00:36:31,650 --> 00:36:34,069 and just in time for night. 637 00:36:37,364 --> 00:36:40,199 I'm so hungry. 638 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:44,662 Do you know how long it's been since I had a proper meal? 639 00:36:44,663 --> 00:36:47,373 When I overheard you talk about the Library, 640 00:36:47,374 --> 00:36:49,125 I just couldn't believe my luck. 641 00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:55,422 Hunters, it is our moment. 642 00:36:55,423 --> 00:36:58,718 -Charge! -You. 643 00:37:02,514 --> 00:37:05,558 Van Helsing, my Astolat. Hmm? 644 00:37:10,689 --> 00:37:12,398 I think we should get everyone out of here, don't you? 645 00:37:12,399 --> 00:37:14,358 This is all my fault. 646 00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:16,860 Lysa, you get them inside. Put them in the dungeon as a fail-safe. 647 00:37:16,861 --> 00:37:19,780 -Okay. -Charlie, do you think you can get that axe? 648 00:37:19,781 --> 00:37:23,367 -Yeah. -Good. Connor and I will... 649 00:37:23,368 --> 00:37:24,410 Where's Connor? 650 00:37:24,411 --> 00:37:27,246 Hey! Hey, Petar! 651 00:37:27,247 --> 00:37:30,624 You want blood, right? Take mine. 652 00:37:30,625 --> 00:37:33,545 Make me a vampire, like you said. 653 00:37:42,595 --> 00:37:46,056 You spent all day worrying, afraid of turning. Why now? 654 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:48,809 First of all, no one told me about the flying thing, which is awesome. 655 00:37:48,810 --> 00:37:53,147 But I want what you have, endless future. 656 00:37:53,148 --> 00:37:57,901 Oh, Connor, you'll make a better meal than a roommate. 657 00:37:57,902 --> 00:38:01,113 -There has to be a way to stop him. -It's too late. 658 00:38:01,114 --> 00:38:03,449 After you, I'll eat your friends. 659 00:38:03,450 --> 00:38:06,452 Fitting that my first meal would be from the Library, 660 00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:10,956 which kept my tooth from me for so very long. 661 00:38:16,296 --> 00:38:19,048 -What is this? -It's a fail-safe. 662 00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:22,634 Of course. The Library places fail-safes on all their artifacts 663 00:38:22,635 --> 00:38:23,927 so they can't get out and hurt anyone. 664 00:38:23,928 --> 00:38:27,306 Medusa's head in a bag, that kind of thing. 665 00:38:27,307 --> 00:38:31,268 What better way to booby trap a tooth than to place a capsule of cyanide in it? 666 00:38:31,269 --> 00:38:33,479 Or in his case, holy water. 667 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,147 Or garlic oil. 668 00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:38,610 Or a photovoltaic cell storing solar energy. 669 00:38:40,070 --> 00:38:43,114 Whatever it is, Petar, your future ends here. 670 00:38:59,005 --> 00:39:01,633 And this shall go back home to the Library. 671 00:39:05,553 --> 00:39:07,054 Great show. Great show. Has it ended? 672 00:39:07,055 --> 00:39:09,306 Because the snow cones will sell out. 673 00:39:09,307 --> 00:39:11,767 My group, follow me. 674 00:39:11,768 --> 00:39:14,687 You're lucky this isn't that deep. 675 00:39:14,688 --> 00:39:17,189 Petar could have bit anyone and the fail-safe would have activated. 676 00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:18,482 You offered yourself up. 677 00:39:18,483 --> 00:39:20,693 I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 678 00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:22,903 -Better to test it on myself. -You need more gauze, 679 00:39:22,904 --> 00:39:25,531 and slightly fewer near-death experiences. 680 00:39:25,532 --> 00:39:29,493 Yeah, it's just not the right time. 681 00:39:29,494 --> 00:39:31,453 Yeah. Okay, thanks. 682 00:39:31,454 --> 00:39:34,331 Right, well, that was the broker. 683 00:39:34,332 --> 00:39:36,001 I'm postponing selling the castle. 684 00:39:37,293 --> 00:39:39,378 What about your IPO? 685 00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:44,133 I realized that although, yes, this is my castle, it's also our castle. 686 00:39:44,134 --> 00:39:46,885 And the decision to sell should be made together. 687 00:39:46,886 --> 00:39:49,555 But I thought the future waits for no man. 688 00:39:49,556 --> 00:39:52,975 -What, you want to join an IPO now? -Eh. 689 00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:55,728 I spent the whole day worrying about my future. 690 00:39:55,729 --> 00:39:58,397 Now I'm just happy to have one. 691 00:39:58,398 --> 00:39:59,982 The Library's all I ever really wanted. 692 00:39:59,983 --> 00:40:02,943 Gonna make the most of it with however long we have left. 693 00:40:02,944 --> 00:40:04,862 I think that's a great idea. 694 00:40:04,863 --> 00:40:07,740 Right. Petar's tooth is back in its rightful place. 695 00:40:07,741 --> 00:40:11,618 And Mrs. A would like to take a break from cataloguing to visit a local winery, 696 00:40:11,619 --> 00:40:14,621 so what shall we do with our newfound freedom? 697 00:40:14,622 --> 00:40:16,999 -We can get some training in. -Do we have to? 698 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,753 I'm your Guardian, and I intend to be for a long time, 699 00:40:20,754 --> 00:40:23,464 and you nearly being beheaded reflects badly on me. 700 00:40:23,465 --> 00:40:25,008 And what about working for Lysa? 701 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:29,762 You know, you lied to me before. 702 00:40:29,763 --> 00:40:33,265 You said you didn't care if Lysa sold the castle or if I took the job, 703 00:40:33,266 --> 00:40:37,103 but you're just trying to make it easier for us to go. 704 00:40:39,564 --> 00:40:42,274 -You don't get off that easy. -I don't? 705 00:40:42,275 --> 00:40:43,401 You're stuck with me. 706 00:40:49,949 --> 00:40:52,409 Charlie, I have to say something. 707 00:40:52,410 --> 00:40:54,578 I'm going... 708 00:40:54,579 --> 00:40:59,124 to go... hungry. 709 00:40:59,125 --> 00:41:04,004 Does anyone want that Italian delicacy, pizza? 710 00:41:04,005 --> 00:41:06,799 -Mushrooms? Pepperoni? -Ah, no thanks. 711 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,968 When Petar returned to dust and you returned the tooth to the Library, 712 00:41:09,969 --> 00:41:12,179 we hit up the rest of Vampire Fest. 713 00:41:12,180 --> 00:41:14,515 Yeah, those bloody snow cones are actually pretty good. 714 00:41:14,516 --> 00:41:17,184 Was there before or after you buried the ashes on consecrated ground? 715 00:41:17,185 --> 00:41:21,398 -Aah! What? -Were we supposed to do that? 716 00:41:23,817 --> 00:41:27,653 -How did you not know to do that? -Injured. 717 00:41:27,654 --> 00:41:29,196 Not in your arm. 53469

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