Original subtitles

I always have to clean up your shit, every day you shit on my head.

May your cunt dry up, you bitch!

Oh, man!

It's meat pie, not poison.

Give me the bathrobe.

You stink.

What's the use of getting them when I don't go out?

I can't take this city anymore.

I know Netflix by heart like a nursery rhyme.

My whole paycheck for you, baby.

A woman must invest in herself when she's 20

to look good when she's 30.

She has to start early - botoxing, nipping, tucking, stapling...

After 30, she only improves on it.

The doctor was right,

it's not a problem while I'm nursing.

That was the first thing I asked.

When are you conceiving?

C'mon, it's time to multiply.

We multiply every day.

Twice a day.

And you?

Lucky you.

Can you tell?

No.

You want to touch them?

Wow!

Easy now!

Yuck, butchers!

Changing my body, cutting me...

Should I give you his number?

I am very sad.

Why, hon?

What's going on?

Don't you worry, sweetie.

I'm waiting at the traffic light,

they come over to wash my windshield,

this Gypsy girl comes over,

gorgeous, prettier than Rihanna,

a baby on her breast.

I felt sorry for her,

I really did.

Wait!

Give it to me.

She's nursing it, the boob's huge.

Milk overflowing. She doesn't even notice it.

The milk's dripping,

this guy's washing my windshield

with white foam...

I thought you were serious.

What's this? - Jack.

Which Jack? Nicholson?

Nine, Jack Nine.

Stop buying cheap shit, you bum!

Eva bought it. Women...

So: Jack, Dark Barrel.

Let's repeat now...

Jack, Dark Barrel.

I don't want to catch you again!

Jack, Dark Barrel.

Okay, enough!

Five ashtrays on the table, the bitch puts them out in a wine glass.

Let me put something out in your glass?

Wait, the dishes...

No, I reek of cigarettes.

Metodi...

Eva...

Metodi, baby.

Yes, baby cheeks...

Metodi, we have a baby in our bed!

Honey...

My baby!

Sorry.

About what, baby drumstick?

That I won't give you a son.

A daughter's fine.

Nor a daughter.

I asked for the day shift today.

So we can go to your sister's.

For the name day.

Do you hear?

Fucking freezing!

You talking to me?

You talking...

We have fresh kaymak, neighbor.

Excuse me?

It's Wednesday...

yet the inspector's not here. Probably overslept.

Wild party last night?

Inspector?

No, I'm a security guard.

In a bank. All kinds of people.

If they try to rob the bank...

You are an inspector for me, a secret agent.

It's really good.

Do you want to taste it?

Yes... What?

Kaymak.

Everybody wants to taste it.

Do you have goat ch... - No!

Do you want it?

Hey, Jack Nine!

Sweet, huh?

Well, yeah, it's kaymak.

Dosta...

What are you up to, Dosta?

...ever since this calamity fell upon them

and fate turned her back when Slobodan fell ill.

He possesses no health insurance.

Even though we pay the least expensive electricity in the region,

a debt of 127,313 denars has accumulated,

so the power company has cut off their electricity.

They live with their five-month-old baby,

who has never experienced the joy of falling asleep

in a home where the television set murmurs pleasantly

or where the light bulb casts its warm light.

How do you deal with your poverty?

The neighbors help, my grandmother does, the godfather...

My baby cries all the time...

Hello.

Yes, honey?

Don't forget cabbage, need it for dinner.

You told me this morning.

I won't forget.

That's what you said last time.

Do we need anything else?

No, just cabbage.

And buy me that bathrobe.

Inspector!

Did you buy kaymak?

No, tomorrow.

Did my mom let you taste it?

She did. She tasted it too.

It's not the same - who lets you taste it.

You want something?

I have sunglasses.

Not as cool as yours, but...

They are Ray-Ban.

I'm fine.

Did you buy cheese?

As an appetizer.

My dad loved cheese with his brandy.

Oh, the brandy he used to make!

This mask?

For snorkeling.

But good for other things too.

Here...

What is this?

Just open it.

For me?

Try it on.

It's very...

...pink.

Metodi, you said you...

want to have children.

You said: "More than anything in the world."

When I see a pregnant woman I want to faint.

Another being growing inside me. Like Alien.

Growing like a leather balloon,

farting, walking like a duck,

skin hanging like an elephant...

You realize I'll never lose that weight?

So...

When I breastfeed,

will you get a hard-on or want to puke?

I will love you...

What do you think about that?

Hot, maestro!

I bought a new grave.

But I didn't write my year of death.

I don't want to be buried with her.

Look who's up early!

Say hi to your mom.

I made brandy.

Did you?

It turned out great.

Let's see if you're any good.

I bought a new grave.

...and I say, 'I can't'.

She says, 'Yes you can'.

'I can't', I say.

She won't give an inch, like a mule.

In the kitchen I have...

When I was your age, there were birds everywhere.

Stepmom, dude, where did you find this bore of a husband?

Me? Where did you?

I had no choice, you could run.

Move in with you in America?

Ha-ha, hilarious.

It's my fault, I was too nice.

I did not spank you. - Go make coffee, old man.

Talk to me.

I can't stand him.

You'll have to, green cards don't grow on trees.

You think I can stand this father of yours?

What is it now?

He'll stay a virgin, had a contract with God.

America for beginners.

Some girl blew him, now he's all traumatized.

Here's the coffee.

Get out, you!

His whole class signed a contract with God.

No sex till marriage.

You'll find someone else for that.

That's tough in Utah.

How are you with the old one?

He says I smell of meat pie.

You do! - Eat shit!

At least he doesn't make you dress like a schoolgirl.

I wish...

Fuck this!

Grandma Natka!

May it go to your cheeks, sweetie.

Thank you.

How's your Metodi?

He's good. Working hard.

Busy bee has no time for sorrow.

He's got a good job.

Doctor.

Pharmacist, granny. - Same thing.

Your uncle and I, we watched you on TV,

with the godfather.

We are all very proud.

Grandma sends her greetings.

Old age, nothing you can do about it. Between a rock and a hard place.

Little Eva here?

Uncle... - You should park in the yard.

I thought we'd go right away.

It's around the corner.

Mother, we'll eat with the godfather.

I made sarma.

They are expecting us, mother.

Wait, the gift.

My grandfather went all the way to Egypt,

now she's gonna tell me

people here don't know how to live.

Says we only talk about politics.

It's easy for her to talk from Denmark.

Comes here only to fix her teeth.

Go get us some sweets, and one more round.

The brandy's great,

and so is the gift.

I tell her: "When are you going to settle down?"

"When are you going to have children?"

"Time doesn't wait for you."

"Our relatives bounce children on their knees."

"We cringe here in shame."

Shame.

Here...

Dosta wanted to say hello.

Go on, Dosta.

You look very pretty today, Dosta.

I know.

Dosta, say hello to the goddaughter.

We saw her on TV, remember?

From the city?

Dosta, kiss her hand.

Do it.

Kiss her hand!

Hello, Dosta.

Uncle...

Her condition...

It's not hereditary, right?

The godfather and the godmother had three boys.

Everything good,

the boys grew up, real men.

She gets pregnant again.

Embarrassing.

The first three easy as pie,

but now a difficult pregnancy,

"God's will," she says, "he's punishing me."

She almost died giving birth.

The doctor comes, tells her the baby made it,

but it did not breathe for two minutes.

"It will be retarded", he says.

They put it in an incubator.

"Do you want us to turn off the incubator?" they ask her.

"Do you want us to turn it off?"

"Because it will be retarded."

"No way around it."

The godmother tells them...

"I don't know, I must ask my husband."

They wait for her husband, the godfather,

but he was out drinking.

Came to the hospital the next day.

And the next day

the baby's alive,

moving.

And nobody...

ever mentioned...

the incubator again.

And so, our Dosta...

Sweet girl.

Sweet.

Oh, hello, officer.

I'll stuff you like a stuffed cabbage.

And a stuffed pepper!

If there's anything, just call.

Just give her a buzz, she'll get you everything you need.

Ok.

Wait, don't move!

I got you a Visa.

Wow, they've grown.

I water them regularly.

Ciao.

You used up the hot water again.

You know what...

I tried Skyping Samanta, she's not picking up.

She probably made up with Fisher.

Did you buy me a bathrobe?

Want some kaymak?

It's really good.

What? - I brought you a meat pie.

I know you brought me a meat pie.

You brought me a meat pie yesterday.

And the day before.

Every morning you bring me a meat pie.

You work at a bakery.

Want to have another heart attack?

Cut it out, let me eat.

Eat all you want.

Kaymak every day.

How much did you pay for it?

Play dumb, money grows on trees.

Football?

Uncle,

do you follow it?

I like my NBA.

Ianis Antetokounmpo,

the Greek Freak, from another planet.

And Luka Donchich. And Jokich, our guys.

What is this, uncle? - See it with your own eyes.

The test results?

That's great.

I knew it...

...when you phoned the other day.

Uncle!

You scared me.

What are you doing here?

I was waiting for you to get up,

say my good-byes.

I have errands to run.

Have a safe trip, uncle.

Eva...

Dosta...

She's still a child.

We were going to make it a children's room.

You'll be alone here, have your privacy.

Your own room.

You want a room that's only yours, don't you?

Have you ever had a room of your own?

These are for you, Dosta.

This is the bathroom.

You know that.

We have a shower.

We always have hot water.

Take a shower whenever you want.

Come on, let's unpack you and put everything in the wardrobe.

You don't need to clean here.

We have a cleaning woman.

Maestro!

Give me a newspaper.

Do you want Nova Makedonija?

No, I want Suddeutsche Zeitung.

The brandy's gonna be clear water, ass on fire.

Try it?

Drop by drop, fire!

I've been calling Samanta.

Leave the child alone.

She moved to America to get away from you.

Want a cup of tea?

Sugar?

Then go get some.

Why didn't you bring the jar?

Wait now. You brought sugar for yourself, don't need the jar.

Put it in the tea.

Two.

You have nice, soft hair.

I know.

Dos, what do you want to do with your life?

What do you want to be?

I want to have my own TV.

What else?

A baby.

To nurse it.

I really want to nurse it.

You do?

I'll make you an appointment with my hairdresser.

Fuck you, stupid cow!

Do you hear me, you whore?

May your cunt dry up, you filthy bitch.

What goes up comes down!

Sweetie, can you hold this a sec?

Get your mama to hold it, impotent jerk!

Mom called this morning.

Move to the end of the world, mama follows you there.

I shouldn't have installed Skype for her.

Brother Metodi, talk to Branko,

find her a shrink.

Brother Kiril, no shrink,

mom needs, pardon my French, a dick.

Did you close on the house?

No, we decided to move from Manitoba.

We'll try Toronto.

Promise you'll talk to mom.

Promise me. - Okay, I will.

I'm worried about mom.

The sushi has arrived. Bye.

Ready for sushi?

Raw fish.

A girl's best friend.

Look what came with the sushi.

Dosta 2.0.

Make me come!

C'mon!

C'mon!

Make me come!

What's your problem?

Get up!

Caramba?

Get up, you piece of shit!

You hear?

Get up!

Caramba?

Stevche!

Caramba!

Get up!

Stupid whore!

Sorry, sorry.

Have you ever used a bathtub?

How about a Jacuzzi?

Joking. Ours is a Jacuzzi.

Sorry.

Take off your clothes.

I'm embarrassed.

You are embarrassed?

You're so cute.

I won't look.

Isn't it great?

Nothing better than a hot bath.

Cheers!

Whenever I have a bitch of a day,

I prepare myself a bath.

I make it as hot as I can.

It relaxes me so much.

Makes me a new woman...

Dos, baby...

do you know how to sing?

Coffee...

Hey, waitress, shake it, don't break it.

Here you go, love.

And me?

No sugar?

You take sugar?

A spoon and a half.

Wait.

Bring sugar, old man.

What did I miss?

Room service...

Are you okay?

Salt.

Salt?

You idiot.

Damn!

Now you drink it.

There! Bottoms up!

Five times two?

Ten.

Five times three?

Eleven.

Bravo.

Five times four?

Five times four? - Twelve.

Recess, guys.

Let's eat.

I bought kaymak too.

It's very good.

Home-made, organic.

Thirteen?

That was enough, Dosta.

Sorry, let's eat now.

Are you okay?

Yes.

I'll die here locked up for months.

I'd give everything to go out now.

I want to go to Kino Karposh,

to Chamo,

to Kantina,

to Balet, until sunrise.

"To see if sunrise there is as dark as it is here."

I want to go to the mountains,

to the park, the zoo,

to the green market,

to buy cabbage with you,

cauliflower, leeks,

potatoes.

I even want to go to work...

I'll die here.

Locked up for months, like a covered woman from Afghanistan.

It's ready.

Why did I have to go and get pregnant?

Give me your hand.

Five times seven?

Thr...

Thr...

Thirteen!

Bravo! Let's eat.

Dosta! Let's eat!

You want avocado, baby pillow?

What is it, Dosta?

Take it easy.

I'll call an ambulance.

Sorry.

Take it easy.

It hit me. - Who hit you?

Did you have a bad dream?

It hit me here.

It's the baby, Dosta.

The baby is waking up.

It's normal.

Why did it hit me?

You know what they say?

Dosta, take it easy.

The first time the baby moves in its mama's belly,

you look at yourself in the mirror

and make a wish for the baby.

What do you want it to be like?

I want it to have curly hair.

Vitamins...

Dosta, it's okay for the baby to kick.

It's growing, waking up. - It'll blow over.

No!

No!

Dosta. Let's go to bed, please.

No!

You're back?

My head's killing me.

One bus a year, driving potatoes, not people.

And not a single man has taken a shower!

Guess it's not Saturday.

Stinky unwashed patriots.

What's this? - Caffetin. Why suffer?

It's been so long since I wore that necklace.

My mom gave it to me.

Sorry, I'll put it back.

No, it looks good on you.

It's a memento.

What are you making?

Cabbage.

In what?

What, in what?

Why in the new pot?

I'm sorry.

I've said it a million times, use the old pot for cabbage.

I'll wash everything, don't worry.

He, too, makes a mess, a hundred women can't clean it up.

Move!

You are all making a mess, you don't know where things go!

I was cooking for you.

You're tired.

Double shift.

Huh?

I'll go take a shower.

Danche...

What did you see in him?

I was lonely.

He makes me laugh. I mean...

we used to laugh all the time.

When my husband came back from the hospital,

the first thing he said was,

"I can't wait to die to stop seeing your face."

Well, he ain't seeing it no more.

My bird's singing in the morning...

It ain't morning, Caramba.

Give up the kaymak.

Ay, caramba!

What are you doing?

Dosta, what are you doing?

Looking for a Turkish soap opera.

That's not what I asked you.

You are pregnant.

Dos baby, please give me the bottle.

It's not good for the baby.

Why, sweetie? Just a little longer...

Old man, lay off me. Stepmom, dude, tell him.

I'll tell him.

Here's your drinks.

Who's that?

Violetka.

Who's Violetka?

My cousin from Maloishte.

Where's that now?

Near Preseka.

Kaymak for the gentleman,

pickles for the lady.

Are you Caramba's kid? - Yup. The kid.

America, huh? - It's a hellhole.

This damn Utah ate me alive.

Praying mantises coming outta my ears,

Jesus leaking out of my nose.

No kidding... - You have no idea.

I've been abroad only to Zrenjanin.

A great place!

It was very...

We were laughing all the time.

Is that in Russia?

No, in Serbia.

Zre-nja-nin.

I gotta go, ice cream's not gonna sell itself.

Ciao, old man, ciao, stepmom dude,

ciao, Maloishte.

Thank you.

Buy yourself a little sister, too.

And you thought I'd never be a mother...

In a bathtub?

Absolutely. In a Jacuzzi.

Gross, in a bathtub!

It's not a bathtub, it's a Jacuzzi.

At home, really?

I'd never have the courage.

No way I'd have a home birth.

We missed you these five months, Eva.

Holistic, babes.

What's the first thing the baby will see?

Drain.

A real home, not a faceless institution.

Which institution?

A hospital, dummy.

At the hospital I'd get an epidural.

Who needs a fucking epidural!

Super-Eva, Marvel's pregnant woman.

When Eva makes up her mind...

Go, Eva!

Let's claim back our body from the imposed ideals of mansplaining.

Gabi, honey,

I want to feel it.

The pain is part of me too.

From the moment this pound of flesh comes out of my body.

Becoming a new life.

Guys, natural is the best.

Like the Kardashians, right?

The Kardashians were only looking. They didn't do it in a bathtub.

Giving birth in a bathtub: Me...

...then Gwyneth Paltrow, Pamela Anderson, Gisele.

The child was born in water.

It came out,

splashing, swimming, singing...

Instead of crying, the baby's laughing.

Mommy's little meatball.

...in all those 'protective measures'

we recognize a virus

worse than the current virus,

the virus of sacrilege.

Those who came out for closing our temples

are the false believers,

who never allowed themselves to be touched by God.

The Devil never rests.

How 'bout a drink, uncle?

Jack, Dark Barrel.

You should've called, uncle.

I could've picked you up.

I took the 6:15,

had other errands in the city.

Cheers, all.

To our health.

How's it going, uncle?

It's going.

We are so happy with him.

He brought us such joy.

We are very happy.

I have no words.

Who wants water?

Tap water for me.

Ciao, Dosta.

See you.

I almost forgot!

This is for you, Dos.

A TV.

Let me...

My head'll explode.

Screaming all night.

It's a baby, monkey. Nothing you can do.

Half the government's waiting for me.

That was not our deal.

What do you want me to do?

Here, you tell me!

Dear minister,

dear investors from Israel and India,

dear archbishop,

global trends suggest the parks

relocate to their natural habitat,

instead of clashing

with the city concrete.

Is there anything

more beautiful

than a city park on a mountain?

The city park will relocate

to the mountain.

The empty space left behind

will become a playground for architects

and investors.

On the area of almost half a million square meters,

business centers will rise,

a crematorium,

and 436 apartment buildings

where 83,462 citizens will make their home.

Little apartments for our little kids.

The future of this algor...

Mrs. Cheprganec-Drcheva...

Are you okay?

Get some water!

An ambulance, damn it!

I love you, baby pillow.

Look at me, Dosta!

I'm gonna smack you.

You'll see when your father comes home!

The godson came all the way from the city

to take you back to live in luxury again.

Dosta, hey!

Our baby...

He needs you more than anything in the world.

I am sorry.

We made a mistake.

A big mistake.

How can I apologize?

Your car.

I want the Audi.

My niece opened a Tinder account for me.

She says: "Auntie, you need to relax."

I swipe left, swipe left, lo and behold, a cute guy.

So I swipe right.

A young student.

Invites me to his dorm, kicks out his roommate.

So, he's banging me...

...and I'm staring at the ceiling.

It says: "Get up at 7, go to class!"

You should open a Tinder account.

You think so?

I could open one for you.

Mommy's little doughnut...

My sweet hacker...

Mommy's little meatball...

Eva, he's hungry.

Mommy's little meatball...

Stevche?

Caramba?

Caramba, stop acting!

The bra!

Go, go, go!

What are they doing to him now?

It's my fault.

I can't reach her.

Ma'am...

Doctor...

is he going to be okay?

So, here...

Girls, I've seen everything, but your guy...

How is he? - A genius!

He put the gun in his mouth, fired...

...and missed himself. Can you believe it?

Bang! He missed!

He aimed the gun to the side,

the bullet went

through his cheek.

God knows where the bullet went...

There's a linear fracture of the skull,

burns on the tongue...

The cheek, soft tissue, a mess...

But everything else is clean. The brain, uninjured.

Only the tooth is blown to bits.

And his eardrums are gone, temporarily deaf.

This is important, the cortex is untouched, the brain.

We'll patch him up, don't you worry.

And give this back to him.

Big brother, I've got something to tell you.

A confession to make. - You are gay?

I knew it in kindergarten, when you grabbed Gorazd's ass.

No, bro.

It's about the baby.

Look, things are not exactly as I told you.

I want you to know the truth.

Let's eat, baby pillow.

Eva's napping.

She's tired.

Eva...

I set the table and bought kaymak...

Eva?

Wake up.

Let's eat, Eva.

Let's eat.

Hey! Cut it out.

Where are you going?

Where do you think you're going? Do you live here?

Hello, lady.

Do you live here?

No.

Get going.

Get going.

I don't live here.

He missed himself.

I miss you.

Suck a dick, bitches!