Original subtitles

♪ green acres is The place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

♪ new york is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you, But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ goodbye, city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Mr. Drucker.

Mr. Drucker.

Mr. Drucker. Open up.

I'm comin'.

Darned fool, it's the Middle of the night.

Doggone it.

Mr. Drucker.

What'd you say?

I said, "Eb, what do you want?"

I wanna pick out a Birthday present.

At 4:30 in the mornin'?

Is it that late?

Mr. Drucker, do You have any, uh...

Hey. Did you have a Party in here last night?

No, I didn't.

What kind of Present did you want?

Do you still have Those transistor radios?

Uh, yeah.

Here you are. $9.

Is that the best one you got?

Um, no.

This is $14.

That's perfect.

Fine. Uh, whose birthday is it?

Mine.

Congratulations.

You're buying yourself a pretty Expensive present, aren't you?

I ain't buying it for Me. Mr. Douglas is.

Oh. Does he want me To put it on his bill?

No. He don't know he's Buying it for me yet.

He don't...

I'm gonna let him Surprise me with it.

What?

He'll probably come rushing In here in a little while

And say, "I need a Birthday present."

And all you've gotta Do is push this on him,

And all I'll have to do is act Surprised when he gives it to me.

How do you know he's Going to buy you a present?

He's bound to, when he Finds out today's my birthday.

He doesn't know?

He will as soon as he wakes up.

I left a few hints for Him around the house.

What the...

"Today's the day"?

What was that?

I broke my balloon.

Oh, boy.

Go back to sleep.

Ow!

What happened?

There's a mousetrap on my toe.

Oliver, you promised me you wouldn't Take a drink until the sun went down.

I didn't. Go back to sleep.

"Drucker's opens at 6 A.M."? What's going on here?

Birthday present?

Holy smoke. It's Lisa's birthday.

Mr. Drucker.

Mr. Drucker.

I'm comin'.

Doesn't anybody ever Sleep around here?

Oh, for the love of...

Mr. Drucker.

Oh, mr. Douglas. I Don't open till 7:00.

It said 6:00 on the mousetrap.

Uh, come in. Come in.

Thank you.

Well!

No, I didn't have a Party here last night.

Well, uh, I want to Buy a birthday gift.

Oh, yeah.

Now, what I had in mind...

Here you are.

That'll be $14.

Oh, no, no. I don't Want a radio...

But...

Uh, how about one of those new Portable electric hair dryers?

I... I think the radio Would be a better gift.

No. What I wanted was... Oh.

Do you think a pair of... Of nice sheer Silk stockings would do the trick?

I doubt it.

You can't go wrong with a radio.

How about a compact with a Powder puff and a lipstick?

I don't think I have The right shade.

Why don't I just Wrap up the radio?

If you really think...

It can always be exchanged.

I guess the important thing is That, uh, I didn't forget to get a gift.

Hi.

Well, hello.

Where were you this morning? I woke up and you were gone.

Well, I had some things to do.

Uh, how do you feel today?

Fine.

You feel any older?

Well, that's a nice Thing to say to someone

Who just spent an hour Putting her young on.

You don't look a day older Than the day I married you.

Were you out all last night?

No, I...

Look here.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

What're you putting it In the refrigerator for?

I'm saving it. For my birthday.

Well, isn't today your...

3 months from now.

How about the balloon Tied to my finger

And the mousetrap on my big toe?

I don't know where You were last night,

But it must have Been some party.

Lisa.

You must have been Pretty smashed.

I wasn't smashed, And I wasn't out.

That's a nice thing to do to yell at Me at my birthday 3 months from now.

Well, if it's not your Birthday, whose birthday is it?

Good mornin'. Do I look any older?

Oh, no. How stupid could I be?

I don't know. We've never Pushed you to your full capacity.

Did you tie that Balloon to my finger?

I don't know. What color was it?

Eb.

Oh. Can I have the mousetrap Back? I need it for my room.

Eb, is it really your birthday?

Let me see. Yeah, I guess it is.

You guess it is?

Happy birthday.

Boy, what a birthday.

A kiss from you, and a Radio from mr. Douglas.

How do you know about the radio?

Uh, what radio?

Oh, for crying out...

Happy birthday.

I thought that was My birthday present.

So did I, but it didn't Work out that way.

You like it?

I'd like it better if It was the $14 one.

It is the $14 one.

Then I like it. Thanks.

♪

this is sam dennis at wpixl,

the hot breath of pixley.

♪

music lovers, today we're starting Our big name the song contest.

during the next 2 days we're Gonna play 12 different records.

identify them all and Win the grand prize.

we're gonna start you Off with an easy one.

if you recognize it, call It in to wpixl. Here we go.

♪

I know that. It's you're my pizza momma.

I gotta call.

What's a pizza momma?

Who knows?

♪

Eb, weren't you Supposed to spray...

Eb, I'm talking to you.

Eb!

You don't have to yell, Mr. Douglas. I can hear you fine.

Weren't you supposed to spray...

♪

it's 10:24. Wpixl, big-time.

♪

here that? Time for our 2nd Contest platter. Here she is.

♪

I know that. It's horsefly blues.

No. That sounds Like pizza momma.

Boy, have you got a Thin ear. I gotta call.

♪

♪

time for another contest platter

in our big, big, big Wpixl 12-song contest.

if you know it, Get that call in.

maybe you'll be the Grand prize winner.

♪

Eb, will you shut that radio...

Shh!

I know it.

you must be a girl because Your hair is shorter than mine.

I've gotta call it in.

He let it fall right on my head.

Well, if he knew the song, He had to make the call.

Why did I ever Give that stupid...

♪

Turn that down.

Yes, sir. Mr. Douglas, I...

What happened to you?

Well, I'll tell you what Happened to me. You...

♪

Later.

and here's your Next contest record.

get those calls in to wpixl. Remember our phone number:

2-4-7, ring 3.

♪

Hey, that's

3-foot-2, eyes of purple, has Anyone seen my martian gurple?

Gurple?

What else rhymes with purple?

Eb, will you...

I gotta call.

Eb is really Enjoying his birthday.

He'd better. It may be his last.

♪

Eb, I thought I told you To turn that radio off.

I might miss one of The 12 contest records.

I'm sorry. No more playing That radio while we're working.

But, mr. Douglas, I... I...

May I remind you that Good jobs are hard to find?

I know. That's why I took this one.

I don't wanna hear another word about It. Now come on, we gotta spray the corn.

Suppose they play a Contest record while I'm out?

That's just too bad.

That' s all right for you to say. You've got everything you want.

But I have to win contests To get the necessities of life.

Out!

Stupid...

Ok. Get off.

I am off.

Nice way to treat a Guy on his birthday.

Well, I'm sorry.

Can I have the Rest of the day off?

No!

Then you can't be very sorry.

All right, take the rest of The day off. I'll milk eleanor.

♪

I thought you were gonna Take the rest of the day off.

I am. I just wanted To get my radio.

It's not here.

Where'd you hide it?

I didn't hide it.

Must be there somewhere.

♪

Oh, you got it.

No.

Well, it's playin'.

It's probably fallen In the hay there.

it's 3:18 wpixl big-time.

and here's one of your All-time favorites, the gumbos

and gooney, gooney, You drive me looney.

Gooney, you're driving me...

♪

I can't find it.

I think I did.

Where is it?

Come here and listen.

Holy smoke. You fed My radio to eleanor.

I didn't feed it to her.

Then what's that Playing in there?

She ain't wired for sound.

It must have fallen in The hay and she ate it.

Oliver, I...

Oh, that's a pretty song.

Is it from a picture?

No. It's from eleanor's stomach.

What?

Mr. Douglas fed her my radio.

I didn't feed it to her. Uh, she ate it accidentally.

Well, you'd better turn it off.

How am I gonna turn it off?

Well, how did you turn it on?

I didn't turn it on.

I just started playing when I...

Well, that must Be the on switch.

Which is the off switch?

There isn't any off switch.

Oh, poor eleanor. Doesn't that hurt her?

No, no. Cows are like goats. They eat all kinds of junk.

That's no way to talk About my $14 radio.

If I'd known she was gonna eat It, I would've bought the $9 one.

Oliver, what could we do?

♪

Quiet, eleanor. They're Gonna play a contest record.

put on those thinking Caps, music lovers.

can you identify the next Wpixl contest platter?

listen and call.

♪

I know that.

I've got knobs on my knees From riding a surfboard with you.

Don't worry, darling.

During the commercial, You can take a good rest.

Lisa, will you Put the light out?

I'm reading.

I wanna go to sleep.

As soon as I finish This chapter.

If you wanna read, why don't You go in the other room?

If you want to sleep, Why don't you go there?

Please.

Oh. What a grouch.

Oliver?

What?

Do you think eb Enjoyed his birthday?

Why shouldn't he?

I didn't make him A birthday cake.

That's probably Why he enjoyed it.

Would you care to Discuss that last remark?

No, I wouldn't. Good night.

♪

Oliver, I think Eleanor is outside.

♪

Eb, what are you doing?

Dancing to eleanor.

What are you doing here?

They're gonna have another Contest record at 11:50

And I wanted to be Close to the phone.

Eb, we're trying to get...

I've got 9 right so far. 3 More, and I win 1st prize.

Take eleanor back to the barn.

Oh, poor eleanor. You're still playing?

She looks so tired. Is there Any way we could turn her off?

They go off the air at 12:00.

Good. Then you can Have a good night's sleep.

If it's all the same to you, I'd Like to get a little sleep myself.

♪

and here's contest platter #10.

if you know it, phone it in.

♪

That's the same...

No, it's not.

That's don't lose your cool When you drop out of school.

Eb knows them all.

Yeah. He's the leonard Bernstein of hooterville.

♪

the lines are open. Get those calls in.

and while you're phoning, let me Tell you why we're having this contest.

Yes. Why?

to celebrate our new Broadcasting policy,

starting at midnight Tonight, 5 minutes from now,

wpixl starts Broadcasting 24 hours a day.

24 hours.

♪

Oh, hi, mr. Kimball.

Hey, you left your Radio on in your car.

Uh, no. The radio's in eleanor.

Oh, I thought it was a car Radio. But it's a cow radio.

Boy, they sure have Improved things.

I remember when they used to Put radios in cars. They'd drill holes

And pull the wires through. Now They install them in your cow, huh?

Yeah, I bet they didn't have to Drill any holes in eleanor, huh?

No, she just swallowed it.

That simple, huh? Boy, What'll they think of next?

Yeah, I'm sure...

Say, I know that song.

That's cow cow boogie.

♪

No. That's brahms' 4th.

Or could be beethoven's 5th.

Well, I guess after the 4th fifth, it Doesn't make any difference who wrote it.

Mr. Kimball, will you excuse me? We've gotta take eleanor to the vet.

Is she sick?

I told you, she's got a Radio in her stomach.

Where'd she get that?

Well, I bought it for...

Well, you shouldn't Have done it.

You buy a radio For a cow's stomach

And the next thing you Know, she'll want t.V.

Mr. Kimball, please.

Boy. She's sure got A good tone, huh?

A.M. And f.M.?

No, just, uh...

When you take her to the vet,

I'd have him take a look at Her woofer. I think it's off.

Yeah. I'll... I'll do that.

Oh, hello, mr. Kimball.

Oh, hi, mrs. Douglas.

Isn't that too bad About eleanor?

What's the matter with her?

She's playing music.

Oh, that.

Do you think She'll be all right?

Oh, yeah. Animals swallow A lot of strange things.

I remember this horse. Ate a whole keg of nails.

He followed a truckload of Magnets all the way to chicago.

Lisa, come on.

Excuse me.

Move over.

Eleanor.

Oh, mr. Douglas. I can give You one piece of advice.

If the vet can't get the Radio out of eleanor,

Why don't you try to get Another cow with another radio?

Then you'd have stereo.

Uh, yeah, uh, see you around.

Mr. Douglas! Mr. Douglas!

Doggone.

Mr. Kimball, could you Drop me off at the vet's?

What's the matter? Don't you feel well?

No. I'm ok. I have to keep Listening to eleanor.

They're gonna play another Contest record at 10:30.

♪

Well, doc?

It's lodged here In her 2nd stomach.

What did she do With her first one?

Nothing. You see, a Cow has 4 stomachs.

I didn't know that. Did you?

Oh. Of course.

You didn't. You're Only saying that

Because you don't want the Doctor to think that you're dumb.

No, I'm not just saying That. I knew that.

If you had, you wouldn't keep A thing like this to yourself.

Uh, doctor, uh, Never mind eleanor.

See what you can do for my wife.

I beg your pardon?

How's eleanor?

Well, it doesn't seem To be affecting her any.

There's nothing to worry about.

I think the digestive Juices in her stomachs

Will eventually Disintegrate the set.

What about in the meantime? The Poor thing hasn't slept all night.

Well, I can give her a Shot. A tranquilizer.

Fine.

I'll have to get my hypo.

♪

Did I miss it?

Miss what?

♪

No, I didn't.

time for record #11 in Our name the song contest.

we're coming down to the Wire, so get those answers in.

here it is. Do you know it?

♪

They're saving the Hard ones for last.

Doggone, I know that.

What is it?

If you'll hold her head, I'll Give her a shot in the rump.

That's it.

I ought to give you a shot in the Head for makin' me live in this dump.

Where's you phone, doc?

In there. Thanks.

What was that all about?

Well, eleanor has a song contest In her stomach, you see, and...

Give her the shot, doc.

Don't look, eleanor.

What you can't See can't hurt you.

♪

Poor eleanor. That's the First good sleep she had.

I wish her stomach Would go to sleep.

Come on, eb. We've wasted enough Time. We've got a lot of work to do.

I ain't leaving eleanor.

What?

I gotta wait for the Last contest record.

Eb.

I'm sorry, mr. Douglas, but I Told you what the station said

When I called in the last title:

I'm tied for 1st place With another fellow.

We've both got 11 right.

And if I get the last one and he Doesn't, then I win the grand prize.

What is the grand prize?

I don't know. They haven't Announced that yet.

Well, how do you Know it's worth it?

♪

Shh.

and here's the moment You've been waiting for,

the last platter in wpixl's Name the song contest

and what a grand prize it is:

one week's vacation in Exciting las vegas, illinois.

Las vegas, illinois?

Wow!

I thought las vegas was in utah.

Nevada.

Well then, what did He say illinois for?

Because he...

here we go...

you are listening to kcsdl, The county-seat station.

She switched stations!

Change it back To pixley, eleanor.

How do you expect her...

Your car radio!

Doggone it. Hold the contest.

so you can stop calling.

the contest is over And we have a winner:

ben frogmeyer of pixley.

congratulations, ben,

you'll soon be on your way To beautiful las vegas, illinois.

Ben frogmeyer.

Did you win, eb?

No, I was too late.

Oh, that's too bad.

Some birthday. I lost my Radio, I lost the contest.

And now I'll never get To see las vegas, illinois.

Eb, that's a shame.

But those are the Little things that life...

Eleanor.

What are you doing out of bed?

Yeah. Go back to Bed, you stupid cow.

Double-crosser. Radio eater.

Eb, w... Hey, wait a minute.

She stopped playing.

Well, like the doctor said. The radio disintrogated it.

Well, that's pretty Close to what he said.

A $14 radio turned to milk.

I'll tell you what, eb. I'll give you Another $14 to buy another radio.

Thanks, mrs. Douglas.

I'll go and get my purse.

W-wait a minute. I'll give him the $14.

You too? That's $28.

Now I can get the A.M.-f.M.-shortwave job.

No, eb...

I'll go tell Mr. Drucker to order it.

Eb, w-wait. Eb, wait. I...

Oh, darling, let him have it.

All right.

Oh, you're a nice man.

Yeah. Thank you.

You want to kiss me?

Well, there's Nothing else to do.

♪

Oh, for...

Just like in the movies, Oliver. Everything ends happily.

The fellow kisses the girl,

And the cow's stomach Starts to play music.

Yeah.

Television has a long Way to go to catch up.

this has been a filmways Presentation, darling.