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1
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♪ green acres is
The place to be ♪
2
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:37,035
♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
3
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:41,139
♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
4
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:45,143
♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
5
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:49,214
♪ new york is where
I'd rather stay ♪
6
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:53,185
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
7
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:57,189
♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
8
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,325
♪ darling, I love you,
But give me park avenue ♪
9
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,562
♪ the chores ♪
10
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,631
♪ the stores ♪
11
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,433
♪ fresh air ♪
12
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,667
♪ times square ♪
13
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,270
♪ you are my wife ♪
14
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,971
♪ goodbye, city life ♪
15
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,708
♪ green acres, we are there ♪
16
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,117
Oliver!
17
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,296
What?
18
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,652
Would you help me?
19
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,654
Where are you?
20
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,390
In the dishwasher.
21
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,169
What are you doing?
22
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,692
I'm looking for my hand.
23
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,607
What? It got stuck.
Could you help me?
24
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,998
Well, what did you...
25
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,833
What were you trying to do?
26
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,013
I don't remember.
27
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,536
Oh, for the...
28
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,208
We ought to do this more often.
29
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,709
Just hold still, will you?
30
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,878
I'm going to write to the
Company and tell them
31
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:57,182
That we find togetherlessness
In their dishwasher.
32
00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,684
That'll boost their morale.
33
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,932
It's already boosting mine.
34
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,301
You haven't talked
To me in weeks.
35
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,991
Well, I've been busy.
36
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,427
You always had
Time to talk to me.
37
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:09,794
Lisa, look...
38
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,397
You don't love me anymore.
39
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,033
If I didn't love you, would I
Be here in the dishwasher
40
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,102
Trying to help you
Get your hand out?
41
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,248
That's true.
42
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,938
Now just pull, pull.
43
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,509
Well, no wonder you
Couldn't get your hand out.
44
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,144
Why didn't you let
Go of the plate?
45
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,713
Well, that's what
I was looking for.
46
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,415
If that isn't the silliest...
47
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,929
You know, it's impossible to get
Your hand stuck in the dishwasher.
48
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,687
They're foolproof.
Only an idiot would...
49
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,258
Uh, lisa...
50
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,625
What?
51
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,361
I'm stuck. Help me.
52
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,107
Well, then let go of the plate.
53
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,798
I haven't got hold of a
Plate. My hand's caught in...
54
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,378
Well, can't you pull it out?
55
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,402
No.
56
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,336
Good.
57
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,039
Now we can have a little talk.
58
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,307
Would you like to sit down?
59
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,419
How can I...
60
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,618
All right, what do
You want to talk about?
61
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,785
Us.
62
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,622
2 little letters, which
Means you and me.
63
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,824
When us were first married,
64
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,494
Us were very romantical.
65
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,595
My arm is going to sleep.
66
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,331
Be patient.
67
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,511
In those days,
When you came home,
68
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,279
We used to sit
Down and talk over
69
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,737
Everything what
Happened during the day.
70
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,272
You'd tell me all you did,
71
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:30,575
And I'd tell you all the
Mink coats I tried on.
72
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:35,213
Lisa, when I get
My arm loose, I'm...
73
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:38,842
You'd better not wear this shirt
Anymore. It's only got one arm.
74
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,386
Do you know where my ledger is?
75
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,654
What's that?
76
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,367
Well, it's a book about like so,
77
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,990
It's got a black cover.
78
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,493
What's the story about?
79
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,396
It's not that kind of a
Book, it's got figures in it.
80
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:52,465
Oh.
81
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,100
It's that kind of a book.
82
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:57,602
No, not that kind
Of figures, numbers.
83
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,671
Oh.
84
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:02,874
Is this it?
85
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,143
Oh, yes. That's it.
86
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,182
What did you put it there for?
87
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,450
To keep the shelf
From falling down.
88
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,621
Oliver.
89
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,755
Hmm?
90
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,569
You busy? Mmm-hmm.
91
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,526
Then I don't suppose
You want to play a game?
92
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,927
No.
93
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,530
You have your
Choice of scribble,
94
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,433
Or cabbage.
95
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,602
Cabbage? You mean scrabbage.
96
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,972
Kimble, I mean.
97
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,674
How about the monotony?
98
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,211
Monotony?
99
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,991
You know, that's when you own park
Avenue and I'm trying to buy it from you.
100
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,881
Lisa, I'm busy.
101
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,352
I'm trying to figure out whether or not
We made any profit this year on the farm.
102
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,686
Oh. Did we?
103
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,255
I don't know.
104
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:53,425
If we did, what are you
Going to do with the money?
105
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,892
I don't know yet.
106
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,328
I have a good idea.
107
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,431
Why don't you buy me a present?
108
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,934
I'll buy you a present if you
Promise not to bother me anymore.
109
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,170
I promise.
110
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:07,417
What are you going to buy me?
111
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,474
I don't know.
112
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,842
How about a diamond?
113
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:11,843
No!
114
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,445
How about a mink coat?
115
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,079
I'm not going to buy
You anything now
116
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:16,626
Because you broke your promise.
117
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,850
I'm sorry.
118
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,284
Now no more talking.
119
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,685
All right.
120
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,688
Do you want to dance?
121
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,524
No!
122
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,492
That wasn't talking.
123
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,760
Lisa...
124
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,266
Do you want me to
Nibble on your ears?
125
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,478
That's not talking either.
126
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,435
Will you let me finish?
127
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,582
Well, when are you
Going to talk to me?
128
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,406
Tomorrow! Oh.
129
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,609
Oliver.
130
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,844
Oliver.
131
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:51,616
It's tomorrow morning. What
Are we going to talk about?
132
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,685
You woke me up to...
133
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,788
Lisa, I was up half the
Night going over the books.
134
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,990
All right, let's
Talk about that.
135
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,125
How did we do?
136
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:04,829
Well, as close as I can
Figure, we showed a profit
137
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,566
Of $16.42.
138
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,933
For one day?
139
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,236
For the whole year.
140
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:14,706
$16.42 for a whole year?
141
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,909
Why, you used to tip the
Hat-check girl more than that.
142
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,877
What hat-check girl?
143
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,559
You know, the one at 21 with
The long legs and the short...
144
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,183
Oh, no, that's
Not true. I never...
145
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,052
I never gave her more than $10.
146
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,066
Well, that isn't
Enough for a mink coat.
147
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,850
I never promised
Her a mink coat.
148
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,626
I mean the one you promised me.
149
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,128
Lisa, this is only
Our first year.
150
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,530
At least we showed a profit.
151
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,865
Well, money isn't everything.
152
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,635
And $16.42 isn't anything.
153
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,704
Especially if you
Don't talk to me.
154
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,406
Lisa, I got a good mind to...
155
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,907
Well, if you don't talk to me,
156
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:53,044
The least you could do is
Let me help you with the farm.
157
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,257
What are you going to do?
158
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,413
I'm going to plow.
159
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,722
You want me to help you?
160
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,982
No, thanks.
161
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,829
Do you want me
To split the money?
162
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:00,853
What money?
163
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,554
$16.42.
164
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:06,224
Half of it is mine under
The community property.
165
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,104
I'll see that you
Get your share.
166
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,128
Good.
167
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,329
Now, which field are
We going to plow?
168
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,298
We are not going to plow.
169
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,599
Are we going to talk?
170
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,868
Lisa, what's the
Matter with you?
171
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,448
Well, I haven't
Got anything to do,
172
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,149
And I haven't got
Anybody to talk to.
173
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,440
Well, why don't
You take up a hobby?
174
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,608
Good idea.
175
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:24,842
Fine!
176
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,411
What about diamond cutting?
177
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,813
Diamond cutting?
178
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:34,686
Of course, first you have to get
Me some big diamonds to practice on.
179
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,988
Haven't you got any
Friends you can visit?
180
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,823
No.
181
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,832
What about the ladies in the
182
00:07:39,856 --> 00:07:41,404
Every-other-wednesday
Afternoon women's club?
183
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,205
Well, I don't go there anymore.
184
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,596
Why not?
185
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:47,432
Well, I missed one wednesday
And I went the next wednesday,
186
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,612
And it wasn't the
Every-other wednesday,
187
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,533
So there wasn't
Anybody there and I
188
00:07:51,557 --> 00:07:53,971
Couldn't find out when
The next meeting was.
189
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,541
Maybe I can help you find out.
190
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,809
No, never mind.
191
00:07:57,877 --> 00:07:59,422
I don't want to go there anyway.
192
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,847
They never put me on a
Committee. They don't like me.
193
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,282
Why not?
194
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,851
I'm too tall.
195
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,086
That's no reason not to
Put you on a committee.
196
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,989
Well, it must be
Because I'm never on one.
197
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,825
Lisa. Yes, sir?
198
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:16,894
I've had about all of
This silly prattle I can...
199
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:20,565
Well, just for that, I hope
That that wheel will fall off.
200
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,936
Lisa!
201
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,285
I wasn't pointing on that one.
202
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,560
Ah, good morning, mr. Drucker.
203
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,016
Morning, mr. Douglas.
204
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,419
Can I interest you in a couple
Of jars of pig knuckles?
205
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,787
Uh, no.
206
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,590
89 cents a jar, it comes to
About 12.5 cents a knuckle.
207
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:47,892
I don't think so.
208
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,372
Thought you might
Want to celebrate.
209
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,862
Celebrate what?
210
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:54,298
Well, it ain't every year a
Man makes a profit of $16.42.
211
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,701
How do you know about that?
212
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,871
You don't keep big
Money like that a secret.
213
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,439
No, I suppose not.
214
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,140
You don't seem very happy.
215
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,244
I'm having a few problems
At home, you know?
216
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,980
Yeah, women sure
Get bored, don't they?
217
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,483
How do things get
Around so fast?
218
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,217
She ever think of
Taking up a hobby?
219
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,019
Well, I discussed...
220
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,667
Here's something guaranteed
To keep her fascinated for hours.
221
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,124
A genuine pocahontas bead loom.
222
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:24,629
With this, she can string anything
From a headband to a pair of moccasins.
223
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,498
No, I don't think so.
224
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,566
How about this?
225
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,603
A portable still.
226
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,638
What?
227
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,040
For making her own perfume.
228
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,042
Oh, she's not very, uh...
229
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,212
She like games? I got a
Nice assortment here.
230
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,116
How about a cabbage board?
231
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,885
Cabbage?
232
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,420
Uh, scribble?
233
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,322
Scribble?
234
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,690
Monotony?
235
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,094
No, uh, we... She has all those.
236
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,930
And she's bored?
237
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:02,233
Look, mr. Drucker,
All I want is a bolt
238
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,013
For the wheel of my tractor.
239
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,738
Well, let me check. They might
Have this up on the 5th floor.
240
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,473
Well, I hope so...
241
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,775
5th floor?
242
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,026
Morning, mr. Douglas.
Mrs. Ziffel.
243
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:17,782
Arnold.
244
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:18,994
Where's sam?
245
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:20,852
Oh, he's up on the 5th...
246
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,954
He's, uh, he's looking
For something for me.
247
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,355
Oh.
248
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,664
What are those?
249
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:26,758
Pig's knuckles.
250
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:32,897
Oh, I'm sorry, arnold. I... I'm
Sure it's nobody you know.
251
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,533
How's mrs. Douglas?
252
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:39,070
Well, to tell you the
Truth, she's a little bored.
253
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,451
Oh? How long have you
Been living here now?
254
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,974
Over a year.
255
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:46,410
I don't blame her. I started getting
Bored after I'd been here a week.
256
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,780
And I was born here.
257
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:51,549
If there was only something
She could get interested in,
258
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,986
Some committee the women's
Club might use her on, you know.
259
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,754
Oh, we got plenty of those:
260
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,823
The anti-crabgrass committee,
261
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,903
And the committee
Against them miniskirts,
262
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,962
And the committee to investigate
The friday night poker game.
263
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,965
No, no, none of those
Sound like my wife.
264
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,534
Say, mrs. Douglas
Likes animals, don't she?
265
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:13,805
Yeah, she's crazy about
Minks and chinchillas.
266
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,908
I don't mean that, I mean just
Plain, ordinary animals, like arnold.
267
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,212
Arnold, don't be so sensitive.
268
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,280
I was thinking, if
She likes animals,
269
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,595
We could make her chairman
Of the human committee.
270
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:26,718
The human committee?
271
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:29,821
Yeah, you know, where
You can't kick dogs.
272
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,957
Oh, the humane committee.
273
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,259
Yeah, that's it. The
Human humane committee.
274
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,061
We never had one of them.
275
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,330
Yeah, she might be interested.
276
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,210
But don't tell
Her I suggested it.
277
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,300
It'll be our secret,
Mr. Douglas.
278
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,239
Lisa.
279
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,642
Oliver. Oliver,
Guess what happened.
280
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,544
I haven't any idea.
281
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:55,413
I give you a hint. It has
Something to do with animals.
282
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,248
You joined the circus.
283
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:58,550
No.
284
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,518
Guess again. Animals.
285
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,953
You bought a gorilla?
286
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,088
No!
287
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:08,626
Guess who was made the head of the
Hootersville human humane committee?
288
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,794
You?
289
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:10,863
Yes.
290
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,129
That's wonderful.
291
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,832
Do you know what the
Human humane committee is?
292
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,133
No.
293
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,336
It's where you can't kick
Dogs. That's what it is.
294
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,339
Oh, that sounds
Fascinating. Congratulations.
295
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:24,976
Off!
296
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,144
Wait a minute.
297
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,113
Who are you saying "Off" to?
298
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,515
Mignon. I want to sit down
And read my paper. Off.
299
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,919
Stay right there. What?
300
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,220
She was there first.
301
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,936
What's that got to do with it?
302
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,927
According to the laws of
The human humane committee,
303
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,697
Animals have the same
Rights as other people.
304
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,411
Where did you get that law?
305
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,837
I made it up. And I'm going
To make up a few more.
306
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:56,207
It's about time that somebody
Stood up for the animals.
307
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,275
A dog is a man's best friend.
308
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,424
But, it isn't enough to
Say it, you got to show it.
309
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,279
Of all the...
310
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,549
How would it look for the husband of
The head of the human humane committee
311
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,151
To be sitting in a chair
312
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,454
While that poor dog was
Lying on the cold floor?
313
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,857
You're right.
314
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,926
It would look ridiculous.
315
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,631
That's a good dog.
316
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,720
Hello there, mr. Kiley.
317
00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:32,309
Oh, hello, mrs. Douglas.
318
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,911
You want buy some eggs, huh?
319
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,091
No, thank you.
320
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,250
Everybody says my eggs is
The best in the whole valley.
321
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,218
They're not your eggs.
322
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:42,486
They're not?
323
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,356
No. They belong to the chickens.
324
00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:48,760
No, they don't. I just
Took 'em away from 'em.
325
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,928
Well, you mustn't do that.
326
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,197
Well, I've been
Doin' it for years.
327
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,899
Well, you'll have to stop.
328
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,868
I will?
329
00:13:56,936 --> 00:14:01,338
Yes. It's against the law of the
Hootersville human humane committee.
330
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,608
You see, taking a egg
Away from a chicken
331
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,111
Is like taking a baby
Away from its mother,
332
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,880
Except in a shell.
333
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,651
Doggone. I never
Thought of it that way.
334
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,387
You just have to put them
All back where you found them,
335
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:19,223
And I won't report
You to anybody.
336
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,457
Thank you.
337
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,704
That's all right.
338
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,808
Good day.
339
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,372
All right, which one of you
Mothers belongs to this?
340
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,120
Hello there, mr. Trendell.
341
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,376
Shh.
342
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,414
What song is that?
343
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,984
It's not a song.
It's a duck call
344
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,133
To attract ducks.
345
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,287
Well, that's pretty sneaky,
346
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:54,025
Blowing that thing so some
Duck will get all excited
347
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,660
Thinking he's going
To meet a new duck.
348
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,596
Let him think what he wants.
349
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,965
All I want to do is get
Him as close as I can,
350
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,666
So I can take a shot at him.
351
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,637
Stay away, it isn't a real duck!
352
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,006
Mrs. Douglas, please.
353
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,509
I am sorry. As the head of
The human humane committee,
354
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,245
You can't do this anymore.
355
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,380
Well, I have a hunting license.
356
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,816
Run for your
Lives, he's got a gun!
357
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,721
Oh, no!
358
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,757
You won't need this anymore.
359
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,863
Good day, mr. Trendell.
360
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,877
Oh. Morning, mrs. Douglas.
361
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,656
Hello there, mr. Drucker.
362
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,380
What were you doing?
363
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,094
I was setting a trap for that mouse
That's been gettin' into my staples.
364
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,462
Oh, well, you mustn't do that.
365
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,052
What?
366
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,299
I'm sorry, but as head of
The human humane committee,
367
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,400
I forbid it.
368
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,690
Well, it's only a mouse.
369
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,004
To you, it may be only a mouse,
370
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,728
But to another mouse,
It might be his father.
371
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,665
Listen, he's eating me
Out of house and home.
372
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,645
That's because he's hungry.
373
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,670
Now, why don't
You give him this,
374
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,917
But not this.
375
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,563
Lisa!
376
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,799
Hello, there.
377
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,167
What the...
378
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,635
What the what the?
379
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,511
Lisa.
380
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,081
Isn't that a...
381
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,128
But he might, uh...
382
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,818
He promised he wouldn't.
383
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:01,967
You can't believe a... A...
384
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,634
Hey, get out! No, no,
Get away, get away.
385
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,326
Stop yelling at him.
He's in a state of shock.
386
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,228
He's in a state of shock?
387
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:14,398
His entire family was wiped
Out in a calamity last november.
388
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,181
Lisa, where did you
Get all these animals?
389
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,039
Mr. Haney brought them over
When he found out about my job.
390
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,241
Haney.
391
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,653
How much did he charge you?
392
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,943
Nothing.
393
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,012
He did it out of the
Goodness of his heart.
394
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,081
Ha!
395
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,714
He loves animals.
396
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:31,983
Come with me.
397
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,785
Please, get rid
Of that. Come on.
398
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,354
There you are.
399
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,492
What's this?
400
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,528
I'm making hotcake
Stew for the animals.
401
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,232
And you call yourself president
Of the humane committee?
402
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,338
Howdy, mr. Douglas.
403
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,572
Mr. Haney.
404
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:58,675
Doggone, mr. Douglas,
I gotta hand it to you.
405
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,178
It looks to me like
You already have.
406
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,082
You are a kind man.
407
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:08,419
Sharin' your home with
These needy little critters.
408
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,754
I am not sharing my home...
409
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:14,658
Before I forget it, I've got
A little bill here for you.
410
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:15,804
A bill?
411
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,128
Damages.
412
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:21,198
Seems that some of these
Poor, underprivileged critters
413
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,835
Got into my corn field and
Just nibbled it all to pieces.
414
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:29,506
The destruction run into
Millions of dollars, I'd say.
415
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:33,411
But seein' as how I am
A human humane lover,
416
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:37,982
I'll be glad to
Settle for $16.42.
417
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,918
$16.42.
418
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,887
That's more than most
Farmers make in a year.
419
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,456
Out!
420
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,591
Mr. Douglas... Out!
421
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,740
And take your uncle with you!
422
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:57,901
Lisa.
423
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:01,973
Oliver, do you know what those
Cats did with my hotcake stew?
424
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,342
They buried it in their sandbox.
425
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,990
They're smarter than they look.
426
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,814
Now, lisa, I want you to get
All these animals out of here.
427
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,716
But, darling... No buts!
428
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:13,785
Out!
429
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:14,952
Oh!
430
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,192
Lisa!
431
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:23,827
What's the matter?
432
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,497
Where did this come from?
433
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,467
I don't remember. It's
Been such a busy day.
434
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,938
Oh, for the...
435
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:36,740
Lisa.
436
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,776
Oh, oliver, get your
Foot out of the bird-bath.
437
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,578
Bird bath?
438
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,558
If the birds want to take a
Bath, let them take it outside.
439
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,616
Open the door. Open the door!
440
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,482
Morning, mrs.
Douglas. Real nice day.
441
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,473
Or it will be as soon
As it stops raining.
442
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,964
Mr. Kimball, I'm terribly
Sorry. Let me get you a towel.
443
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,844
Oh, no, thank you, mr. Douglas.
444
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,369
All of us county agents
Are required to be drip-dry.
445
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,405
Now, what is it you
Want to see me about?
446
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,772
I didn't want to see you.
447
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,785
Then what did you
Come over here for?
448
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:12,243
You came over here.
449
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,211
I did? Oh, that's right.
450
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,980
I came through a terrible
Rain storm. Got all soaked.
451
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,827
You don't happen to
Have a towel, do you?
452
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,451
I offered to get you one.
453
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,664
That's the only thing I
Don't like about towels.
454
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,822
People are always offering to
Get you one, but they never do.
455
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,360
Anyway, let's get down
To the business at hand.
456
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,761
Well, not "At hand,"
457
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:32,563
More of "At chest."
458
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,938
Now, if you'll,
Uh, just sign this.
459
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,906
Oh, no, no. I don't sign that.
460
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,109
Oh, sure you can. This
Pen writes under water.
461
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:48,245
I don't sign anything
Unless I know what it is.
462
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:51,115
Well, it's a petition to
Do away with your wife.
463
00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:52,283
What?
464
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,485
Oh, I don't mean get
Rid of her, bang-bang,
465
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,421
Just sort of run her
Out of town, quietly.
466
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,590
What for?
467
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,003
Well, everybody's up in arms over
That human humane committee she runs.
468
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,161
What has she done specifically?
469
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,529
Well, to start with,
470
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,565
Animals.
471
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,511
She's bugging everybody about
The way they treat their animals.
472
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,346
You know what she
Did to newt kiley?
473
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,981
Put him out of the egg business.
474
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,749
She won't let him sell his eggs.
475
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:18,375
He has a hen sitting on
A pile of eggs this high.
476
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,743
I don't understand.
477
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,523
The poor hen's a nervous wreck.
478
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,280
She's afraid of heights.
479
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:24,648
Mr. Kimball...
480
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:26,495
And you heard what
She did to ben miller.
481
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,230
She slapped an
Injunction on him.
482
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:31,489
To prevent him from spraying his
Corn, to get rid of the corn borers.
483
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:33,991
Claimed he was
Committing insecticide.
484
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:36,259
That's like a homicide,
Only with insects.
485
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,461
Oh, for...
486
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,795
There was roy trendell.
487
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:42,433
She threw his new $20
16-gauge shotgun in the lake.
488
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,935
Or was it a $16
20-gauge shotgun?
489
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,437
Well, whatever it was,
490
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,973
Trendell was found wandering
Through the woods in a state of shock.
491
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,208
She didn't say...
492
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,654
And then there was sam drucker.
493
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:55,012
He can't dial a telephone
With this finger.
494
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,713
She snapped a trap on it.
495
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:58,048
And fred ziffel...
496
00:21:58,117 --> 00:21:59,183
I've heard enough.
497
00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:01,152
Oh, then sign here.
498
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:03,965
Look, I know my wife. Signing
A petition won't do any good.
499
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,756
Well, what will?
500
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:08,537
I don't know. But I'll think of something.
I've got a house full of animals.
501
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,795
Oh. Well, don't let me
Keep you from your guests.
502
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:13,964
I'll see you.
503
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,142
Lisa!
504
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,102
Hi.
505
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,204
Where are you?
506
00:22:20,273 --> 00:22:22,339
In here with the elephant.
507
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:23,607
The elephant?
508
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,076
Do you know where you
Can get some peanuts?
509
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:28,546
Um, yeah, there's a
Whole bowlful of them
510
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:30,814
In the saloon over
At crabwell corners.
511
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:36,753
Lisa!
512
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,493
Now go back in the
House with your friends.
513
00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:45,162
What do you want, darling?
514
00:22:45,231 --> 00:22:47,342
I want to show you something.
515
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,977
I bought a present
For mrs. Ziffel,
516
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,079
And I want your opinion on it.
517
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:54,505
You bought this for mrs. Ziffel?
518
00:22:54,574 --> 00:22:56,718
Uh-huh. Well, I... I
Really bought it for you,
519
00:22:56,742 --> 00:22:58,887
But it occurred to me
That you can't accept it.
520
00:22:58,911 --> 00:22:59,976
Why not?
521
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,590
Do you know what
These are made of?
522
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:02,813
Minks.
523
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:04,159
And do you know what minks are?
524
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:06,517
They're little animals
That run around.
525
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:09,906
They run around until
Somebody catches them and goes...
526
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,190
And then they sew
Them together in a coat,
527
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:16,760
And I just knew that the head of the
Humane committee couldn't go walking around
528
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,296
In a coat made
Of little animals...
529
00:23:19,365 --> 00:23:20,698
Minks.
530
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:22,366
Well, that would be true
531
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:25,102
If I hadn't resigned as
The head of the committee.
532
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,803
When did you do that?
533
00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,551
When you said that you were
Going to give the coat to mrs. Ziffel.
534
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,275
Just a second.
535
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:33,988
What about the animals in there?
536
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:36,614
I am going to find
Them good homes.
537
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:37,881
When?
538
00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:39,883
Tomorrow.
539
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,963
Well, mrs. Ziffel is
Gonna love the coat.
540
00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,187
She's gonna have
A... Wait a minute.
541
00:23:44,257 --> 00:23:46,690
Well, I don't really have
To find them good homes.
542
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,726
They know where to
Go after they lived here.
543
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:50,661
They wouldn't just
Move in anywhere.
544
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:53,864
All right, everybody out.
545
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:56,166
Out. Come on, out.
546
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,150
Are they all out?
547
00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:14,218
One more.
548
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:15,686
Ok, charlie.
549
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,092
Don't you dare.
550
00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:24,861
Now can I get the coat?
551
00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:25,930
No.
552
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,832
Oliver! It's not that easy.
553
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,602
Get out the cabbage
Board. I'll play you for it.
554
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,470
You mean, if I win
I get the coat?
555
00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:34,539
Yes.
556
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,940
And if I don't win?
557
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,754
You'll probably get it anyway.
558
00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:39,843
Oh.
559
00:24:46,786 --> 00:24:48,226
Out!
560
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,039
this has been a filmways
Presentation, darling.
36708
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