All language subtitles for Green Acres - S02E18 - Exodus to Bleedswell.eng

♪ green acres is
The place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪

♪ new york is where
I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you,
But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ goodbye, city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Oliver, oliver, wake up.

Uh... Uh, what?
What's the matter?

Do you know anybody called
Jay summers or dick chevrolet?

Who?

Well, I was just dreaming
That their names were over us.

It's 5:00 in the morning.
Will you go to sleep?

"Dreaming their names are..."

Who's he?

Who's banging on the door?

Maybe it's those 2
Fellows with the names.

Good morning, mr. Douglas.

Mr. Haney, it's 5:00.

You know the old sayin':

"The early bird gets
The best seat on the bus."

Just got 2 seats left.

If you'll give me a $3 deposit,

I'll be glad to hold 'em for you
And mrs. Douglas till departure time.

We're not going anywhere.

You're not going to bleedswell?

No, we're not.

Everybody else in the valley is.

Guaranteed to get you there,

So as you'll be first in line
At the employment office.

The employ...

Mr. Haney, I don't know what
It is you're talking about,

But I'm not interested.

Better hang on to this.

He'll probably want to buy
One of these from somebody.

Good morning.

Howdy doody.

Hold it.

Hold it!

What do you think you're doing?

We're gonna try to finish
The bedroom for you by 12:00.

That's when the bus
Leaves for bleedswell.

We're goin' up there to get
A job in the defense plant.

You can go now.

Just for that, I'm not
Gonna kiss you goodbye.

Come on, alf.

Wait a minute.

Would you care to pay us for all the
Beautiful work we've done on this room?

No, I wouldn't.

Just for that, I'm not gonna
Kiss you goodbye, either.

Out!

Darling, here's your breakfast.

What is that?

A codfish ball.

A codfish ball?

Well, it isn't a real one.

What I did was, I took some
Hotcakes and I rolled it up a lump.

And you call this
A codfish ball?

What else would you call it?

Well, I'm sure if I ate
It, I'd think of something.

You keep that up...

Morning, mrs. Douglas.

Good morning, eb.

Morning, mr. Douglas.

Good morning.

Can I have the day off?

What for?

I want to look for another job.

Eb, you're not going
To leave us, are you?

Not entirely.

I'll be comin' home weekends.

Where are you going?

Bleedswell.

Do you want me to give you some
Codfish balls to eat on the bus?

No, ma'am. I don't want
To put you to any trouble.

Oh, it'll only take me
A minute to roll them.

Eb, would you mind telling me what's
The big attraction at bleedswell.

They're opening a
Defense plant up there.

And they're offering inducements
To get people to go there to work.

Didn't you read the ads they
Ran in the world guardian?

Listen to this:

"Join the space age.

"Work for astro digitronics,

Makers of the mighty
Mark v mokker rocket."

The mighty...

"Astro digitronics is located in
Carefree, smog-free bleedswell,

The home of the
Sympathetic draft board."

That's a nice thing to have.

"Astro digitronics offers
More fringe benefits

"Than any other
Space age company,

"Including unlimited sick
Pay, free psychoanalysis,

And a year's supply
Of cracked crab."

What?

Plus 10 paid holidays a year.

There aren't 10
Holidays in a year.

They include chinese new year's.

Oh, eb, here, give me that.

Read what they're
Offering top scientists.

"We are in urgent need of an experienced
Thermal quantitative servo engineer.

"If you are such a man, we
Offer the highest salary,

"Plus free use of a
Company car or a secretary,

10 percent discount on bowling
Supplies, and free diaper service."

Do they get chinese
New year's off, too?

The best deal is to be a structural
Programming aerodynamic calibrator.

They get a duplex apartment
With a swimming pool,

Plus free water skiing lessons
On beautiful lake pelican.

Well, yeah, that's
The best deal.

That's the one I'm
Gonna apply for.

You?

What do you know about structural
Programming aerodynamics calibrator?

Nothing. But if they
Find one of those guys,

They're sure gonna need
Somebody to sweep up after him.

Eb, you'd better leave now.

I don't want you
To miss the bus.

Thanks.

Oh, eb. Yes.

Don't forget your codfish balls.

Thanks, mrs. Douglas.

You're not really going
To let him go, are you?

He... He'll be back.

Well, I don't know.

He's a young boy.

And if he spends one chinese
New year's eating cracked crab,

He might get hooked.

He's not leaving.

But it looks like a
Lot of people are.

Well, none of the
Solid citizens are.

Come in.

I can't. There
Ain't no doorknob.

Oh, for...

Oh, hi. The ziffels.

Hello, mr. Douglas.

Come on, arnold. Come on, arnie.

We can't stay long. We just
Come over to say goodbye.

Yeah, doris and me are
Leavin' for bleedswell.

We gonna make mokker rockets.

What's wrong with arnold?

Oh, every time he hears us talkin'
About movin', he gets all upset.

He doesn't want to
Transfer to a new school.

Well, looks like he'd be
Happy goin' to bleedswell.

Be livin' in a nice
Mountain cabin.

Now, if you're gonna
Take any job, fred,

It's gonna be the one with the
Duplex and the swimmin' pool.

You can't be serious
About leaving.

What about your farm?

Well, I can't hardly
Make a livin' out of it.

You see, there ain't nothin' for me to do
Between harvest time and spring plantin',

But sit around
And look at doris,

Or t.V.

And which do you think
Has got the highest nielsen?

Oh, fred, there you go, puttin'
Me down again in front of arnold.

No wonder he ain't
Got no respect for me.

Mr. Ziffel, I know
That farming isn't easy,

But, uh, working in a
Rocket plant, well...

You have to have some skill.

Well, during the war, I worked in
The hooterville airplane factory.

I was in charge of security.

You mean they were
Making aeroplanes here?

Why don't you two come
To bleedswell with us?

Yeah, everyone else is going.

Newt kiley, ben
Miller, roy trendell.

No, thanks. And I... I think
You're making a mistake.

Well, it ain't the first
Mistake I ever made.

That's the first one.

You ain't no prize package.

Well, maybe I ain't,

But I'm wrapped a little
Better than you are.

One more crack and pow,

You'll be takin' off like
One of them mokker rockets.

Oh, doris, we can fight
On the bus. Come on.

Aren't we ever going
To see you again?

Sure, honey. We'll be
Back next chinese new year.

Yeah, we'll bring you back
A big bag of cracked crab.

Come on, doris.

Well, goodbye. Bye, now. Come
On, arnold. That's a good boy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oliver, all of our
Friends are leaving.

Can't we do something about it?

What can we do?

Well, maybe we could get them
To open up a defensive plant here.

Lisa, that's a silly idea.

So I was saying to my wife, the only
Way to get people to stay in hooterville

Is open up a small defensive
Pla... Uh, uh, defense plant here.

Say, that's a good
Idea mrs. Douglas had.

Whoever thought of it,
It's worth looking into.

What kind of plant did
Mrs. Douglas suggest?

Uh,

Look, mr. Ziffel told me that during the
War, you had an airplane factory here, huh?

Well, if you had enough
Skilled people to make airplanes,

Certainly somebody ought
To be able to open up a factory

To make small parts for missiles,
Electronic equipment, that kind of thing.

Doggone, mr. Douglas.

That wife of yours
Sure thinks things out.

Look, while we're
Standing here talking,

Everybody's waiting to get on
Haney's bus for bleedswell at 12:00.

Oh, that's not
Leaving. It broke down.

It might leave tomorrow.

Well, why don't you do something
About it before it's too late?

How would it be if I called an emergency
Meeting of the town council tonight

And we'll see what
We can think up?

Ok, why don't we
Put it to a vote?

All those in favor,
Raise your hands.

Ok.

Now that we voted
To have the factory,

I suggest we appoint
Mr. Douglas president,

Because his wife
Suggested the idea.

Just a second.

I think I'm better
Qualified than he is.

All right, roy.
We'll put it to a vote.

All those in favor of
Mr. Douglas, raise your hands.

Those against.

The vote is 4 for mr. Douglas
And one sorehead against.

Well, shall we go tell
Mr. Douglas the good news?

It's too late. It's nearly 9:00.

Oh, all right, fred. We'll tell
Him first thing in the morning.

Meeting adjourned.

Sam, I still say I
Should be the president.

Roy, you heard the vote.

Oh, hello, fellows.

Morning, mrs. Douglas. Morning.

Uh, come in, come in.

Uh, would you like
To have some coffee?

Yes, ma'am.

Either of you got a cup?

Don't think so, no.

Well, I'll see if
I can find one.

If I can't find a coffee
Cup, would tea be all right?

Uh, mrs. Douglas, we
Came to see mr. Douglas.

Oh. Oh, he's in the bedroom.

Well, I'll get you some coffee
Or tea, whichever the cups are.

He ain't awake yet.

Well, I didn't come here
To watch him sleep. Hey!

Wake up. Come on.

What are you doing here? -30.

Do you sleep this late everyday?

Well, I...

We don't want a president that
Spends half the day sleeping.

President of what?

He ain't very well
Informed for a president.

Roy, be quiet.

Uh, mr. Douglas,

Town council met last
Night and we voted to reopen

The hooterville airplane company
That we had here during the war.

The hooterville air...

And for suggestin' it,
We're making you president.

You're making me...

Don't he ever
Finish his sentence?

Well, I...

There he goes again.

Roy.

Well, mr. Douglas,
What do you say?

When I suggested a
Small defense plant

To keep people from
Moving to bleedswell,

I... I never meant anything as
Ambitious as making airplanes.

That requires millions of
Dollars. You gotta have a contract...

Well, if you were any kind of a
President, you'd know we have a contract.

You have a contract?

He finally said a
Whole sentence.

We sure have, mr. Douglas.

With the united states army.

During the war, they gave
Us an order to build 32 planes.

And we only built 26 of 'em.

So we still have 6
More to build for 'em.

You have 6 more
To build for them?

That's what he said.

You don't have to
Repeat everything.

What are you gonna
Use for a factory?

Same as we did durin'
The war, simpson's barn.

All we gotta do is get
Simpson's cow out of there.

You think you can build
Jet planes in a barn?

They ain't jets.

Show him the picture, sam.

Here you are, mr. Douglas.

That's the first plane that
Come off the assembly line.

That's a jenny.

A world war I plane.

Well, what war did you
Think we built 'em for?

I thought...

That's where I made my mistake.

Mr. Drucker, look, you're a sensible
Man. You say you have a contract.

That contract was made in 1917.

It's null and void by now.

No, it ain't.

Show him the contract, sam.

On the last page. Clause 47.

Wanna borrow my glasses?

No!

Ah. And, uh... So
And so and so...

"The united states army further
Stipulates that said airplanes

May be delivered anytime
At the company's discretion."

This means they didn't
Specify a delivery date.

Read on.

"It is further agreed that
This contract is irrevocable,

"And cannot be
Cancelled by either party,

For any reason."

How did you get the army
To sign a contract like this?

Brad fenton rammed it through.

Yeah, ol' brad, he was
Sure a great rammer.

They don't make rammers
Like brad anymore.

You'd better get
Dressed. We got a lot to do.

Yeah, we gotta
Clean up the barn,

We gotta, uh, put
The ad in the paper,

Write the letter to the
Air force in washington.

You're writing a letter to...

He's starting again.

We gotta let 'em know we're
Gonna fulfill the contact.

Oh, boy.

I'd give anything to be
There when they open it.

The secretary of defense
Received this letter this morning, sir.

Thought you might
Know something about it.

Ah, who's it from?

The hooterville
Airplane company.

The hooterville?

They say they're about to start
Production on the 6 jn-4s you ordered.

Well, I'm glad somebody's...

Jn-4s? Let me see that.

May I ask, sir, is that
The new night fighter?

Jennys.

Oh. That's a good
Code name for them, sir.

I imagine hooterville
Is a code name, too.

I don't even know
What a hooterville is.

6 jennys?

Are they swept-wing jobs, sir?

Uh, no, no. They're...

How old are you, sergeant?

22, sir.

Ah.

Come on over here.

That is a jenny.

Why did you order
6 of them, sir?

I didn't order them!

But the letter...

Is from some nut!

A wonder we ever win a war

With some of the crackpots
We've got in this country.

Come on, arnold.

Halt. Who goes there?

Oh, it's me, mr. Ziffel.

Where do you think you're going?

Inside.

You got a pass?

What do I need a pass for?

Security.

We're makin' war
Planes in here, you know.

Yes, I know.

How come? It's
Supposed to be a secret.

I'm the president
Of whatever this is.

There ain't nobody goin' in here
Unless they got a pass or a badge.

Where do I get a badge?

Over there.

Here you are. Get your
Security badges here.

No admittance to the plant
Without a security badge.

Mr. Haney.

Howdy, mr. Douglas.
What can I do for you?

Mr. Ziffel says I need a badge.

Yes, sir. What color
Would you like?

I don't know. What
Difference does it make?

Well, the white one
Will give you entry

To the cafeteria, the men's
Washroom and the employee's sundeck.

The red one will give you access

To the first 3 cow
Stalls in the main floor,

But will not allow you use
Of the executive coffee pot.

Now, the yellow one...

Mr. Haney, I'm trying
To keep it quiet,

But I'm the president
Of this happy academy.

The president!

Well, then you'll
Want the gold badge.

There you are. That'll be $7.

$7?

Well, it's deductible.

Fine. Deduct it from my salary.

It's all right, I got a badge.

Mind lettin' me see it?

That ain't no good.

It ain't got your
Security photograph on it.

Ah, for...

Well, where do I
Get one of those?

Over there.

Smile.

Just a minute, buddy.
I beg your pardon?

No one allowed in
Here without a badge.

I've got a badge.

Oh, a gold one.

You must be one of the brass.

No, if you were one of the
Brass, you'd have a brass badge.

Don't tell me you work here.

Yes, I'm the plant manager.

I manage these plants.

I should've let everybody
Go to bleedswell.

This is bamboo.

We make the airplane
Wings out of 'em.

When these are 6 feet tall,
They'll be cut down, bent into shape,

Glued to the airplane,
Covered with fabric, doped,

The air force insignia
Painted on them,

And then off we go into
The wild blue yonder.

Say, that might
Make a good song.

♪ off we go into the
Wild blue yonder ♪

♪ with our wings glued
On and our fabrics doped ♪

Yeah, that's very catchy.

I'll hum that all the way home.

Well, I'm glad if I made your
Day a little bit brighter.

Well, not brighter. The
Last weather report said...

Look, look, please. Can you tell
Me where I'll find mr. Drucker?

Oh, yeah, I guess he's over
There in the, uh, fuselage room.

There. Take a look
At it now, ralph.

One side's a little
Higher than the other.

Oh, we can compensate for that

By puttin' the longer
Wing on the lower side.

Excuse me.

Oh, howdy doody.

Don't howdy doody him
Till you see his badge.

Here.

Gee, a gold one.

What can we do for you, goldie?

Well, I'll...

What is this?

Well, you're the president. Don't
You know a fuselage when you see one?

Yes, I know one when I
See one, but I don't see one.

That's the thanks we get
For giving up $1.50 an hour job

As astrophysicists
At bleedswell.

Don't take it seriously, ralph.

He's just sore at us 'cause
We didn't finish his bedroom.

Well, we're sorry
About that, mr. Douglas.

But our country comes first.

Yes, you might as well
Do it to them for a while.

What did he mean by that?

Who knows? Hand me the plans.

Aren't they pretty?

We couldn't find
The original plans,

So we got these out of
The model airplane kit.

How are you going to use...

Oh, we're blowin'
'em up to life size.

I've seen enough.

Oh, just a minute.

We got a problem, prez.

We're runnin' out
Of nails and wood.

We're gonna need
Some money to buy 'em.

Oh, well, that's simple.

Uh, you're making these
Planes for the air force,

Why don't you just write to
Them? Tell them how much you need.

No wonder he's president.

You notice how fast he
Makes those snap decisions?

Yup.

Take a letter.

Dear air force,

"Kindly forward
Your check for $83.19,

"So that we can buy
The nails and the lumber

To finish the 6
Jn-4s you ordered."

General, I... I don't
Quite understand.

Why did you order 6
World war I jennys?

I didn't order them!

Now, look, mr. Travis,

The reason I asked you over here

Is that I thought maybe the
Attorney-general's office

Could tell me if this contract
Really still is in force.

January, 1918?

Where has this been?

In the sub-basement of
The smithsonian institute.

Look at clause 47.

"Non-cancelable."

Who signed this?

"Woodrow..."

I can't quite make
Out that last name.

The point is, is it still valid?

I'm afraid it is.

You'd better send them the $83,

Or the government
Will be in breach.

It isn't the money, it's the...

W-when those 6
Jennys show up here,

How am I gonna explain it
To you-know-who upstairs?

Well, have you tried talking to anyone
At this hooterville airplane company?

Ah.

Who runs it?

Uh, the letter mentions someone by
The name of oliver wendell douglas.

It might be a good idea
To call this douglas,

And see if you can
Reason with him.

I'll do better than that.

Sergeant, have my plane ready.

I'm taking off for
Hooterville in half an hour.

We're approaching
Hooterville, sir.

Never heard of a town
That didn't have an airport.

We're coming over target, sir.

Jump!

All right. Easy, easy.

He forgot to yell geronimo.

Look, you blithering idiot,

I tell you, I'm gen. Sloat.

Keep movin'.

What you got there, roy?

A spy.

I'm not a spy, you stupid...

Oh, I suppose you jump out
Of airplanes for fun, huh?

Go on, inside.

Ho-hold it! He can't go
In there without a badge.

Oh, yeah. What
Do we do with him?

Shoot him.

Ok.

Not in front of arnold.

Better take him over to mr. Douglas
And see what he wants to do with him.

Everybody was leaving
Town to make mokker rockets.

So I suggest a
Little defense plant.

The next thing I know,
They're building airplanes.

And I'm the president.

That's the way they do things here
In hooterville. I am not interested in...

General, would you
Like to have another cup?

Oh, please.

Thank... Thank you.

Uh, a-about those, uh, jennys...

General, that's an
Ironclad contract,

You're going to have to
Accept delivery on the planes.

There's nothing
I can do about it.

There's quite a dossier on you in
Washington. I noticed you were a flier.

Yes, sir.

You never resigned
Your commission.

You're still in the
Air force reserve.

Yeah, I guess I am.

You are herby ordered
Back to active duty.

What?

We are making
You chief test pilot

For the hooterville
Airplane company.

And I'm proud to turn this bottle
Of champagne over to mrs. Douglas,

So she can christen
The first jn-4

Off the hooterville airplane
Company's assembly line.

Thank you.

Oh, wait a minute.
One more thing.

Be sure to stick around, because
Right after the christening,

Lt. Douglas is gonna fly
This plane up to 10,000 feet,

And bring her down
In a full power dive.

Go ahead, mrs. Douglas.

I christen you
Miss hootersville.

Long may you fly.

Well, back to the drawing board.

this has been a filmways
Presentation, darling.