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♪ green acres is
The place to be ♪
2
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:36,235
♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
3
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:40,239
♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
4
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:43,147
♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
5
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:48,313
♪ new york is where
I'd rather stay ♪
6
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:52,384
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
7
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:56,355
♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
8
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,790
♪ darling, I love you,
But give me park avenue ♪
9
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:02,627
♪ the chores ♪
10
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:04,796
♪ the stores ♪
11
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:06,831
♪ fresh air ♪
12
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:08,833
♪ times square ♪
13
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,168
♪ you are my wife ♪
14
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,870
♪ goodbye, city life ♪
15
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,540
♪ green acres, we are there ♪
16
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,963
Hey! Come back here.
17
00:01:38,032 --> 00:01:39,464
I gotta put this seat...
18
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,428
You been gulpin'
High test again.
19
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,968
You ought to be
Ashamed of yourself.
20
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,736
Runnin' around
Without your seat.
21
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,260
Say, did you hear that...
22
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,029
Mmm, something smells
Pretty good, what is it?
23
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,098
Your breakfast.
24
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,132
What did you do?
Send out for it?
25
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:17,202
Well, that's a nice way
To start the morning.
26
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,337
Well, I didn't...
27
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,504
Say you're sorry.
28
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,716
What are you making?
29
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:21,773
Hotcakes.
30
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,241
I'm sorry.
31
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,843
What sorry is that?
32
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,192
The send-out-for-it sorry,
Or what-I'm-making sorry?
33
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,814
Oh, lisa, I...
34
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,761
Did you say you were
Making hotcakes?
35
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:32,851
Yes.
36
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,159
Where are they?
37
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:35,854
Right here.
38
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,657
What are they?
39
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:39,791
Hots kebabs.
40
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,660
Hots kebabs?
41
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,129
They are like shish kebabs
42
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,132
But with the shish kebabs you
Put the shish on the screwer,
43
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,500
But with hots kebabs
44
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,668
You put the hots on it.
45
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,238
Lisa, you put that to
Music you might have a hit.
46
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:56,341
Mr. Douglas, you know what?
47
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,643
Hey, hots kebabs.
48
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,413
You've seen them before?
49
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,049
Sure, up in pixley at
Bob's hots kebabs stand.
50
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:06,751
They're a big favorite
With the gourmet set.
51
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,664
Uh, why don't you sit
Down and have one?
52
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,890
No, thanks, I just wanted to tell
Mr. Douglas about the tractor.
53
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,669
Oh, is that what
All the racket was?
54
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,328
Yes, sir. I think you oughta
Come out and have a talk with it.
55
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,397
What?
56
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,930
Well, it won't listen to me.
57
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,532
What's wrong with it?
58
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,534
I think it's flipped
Its cotter pin.
59
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:26,038
It chased me out of the
Barn and then back in again.
60
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,251
You mean it was
Running by itself?
61
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,886
Yes, sir. Oh!
62
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,243
That's ridiculous.
63
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,412
So are hots kebabs,
But there they are.
64
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,027
Uh, what's wrong
With the tractor?
65
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:39,151
I don't know. I'm
No psychiatrist.
66
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,618
I didn't ask you what you...
67
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,387
You don't want a hots kebabs?
68
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,722
Uh, uh, no.
69
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,503
Are the brakes
Working all right?
70
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,360
I never got a
Chance to find out.
71
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,262
The seat fell off with me on it.
72
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,330
But I did notice there
Was a piece missing.
73
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,465
A rod about...
74
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,434
Oh, about this long.
75
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,968
And it looked like that.
76
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,306
Lisa, where did
You get that rod?
77
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,487
A friend of mine gave it to me.
78
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,677
Who?
79
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,812
Well, he's a tractor.
80
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,360
Lisa, did you take that rod?
81
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,994
Well, you wanted a hots kebabs.
82
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,164
I didn't say I
Wanted hot kebabs.
83
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,228
Well, you looked
Like you wanted it.
84
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,424
The day I look like I want...
85
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,505
Lisa, take those things off
That rod. We gotta have the rod.
86
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,996
If you want the
Rod, eat the kebabs.
87
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:28,433
Never, I'll buy a new one first.
88
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,868
It doesn't pay to be a
Good cook around here.
89
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,571
Everybody makes fun of you.
90
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,377
Sam, you know we got
A lot of work to do.
91
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,980
Yeah, can we please go home now?
92
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:45,049
We're staying here until one
Of you agrees to take the job.
93
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,819
Well, it ain't gonna be me,
I don't wanna be no judge.
94
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,589
Me, neither. Too dangerous.
95
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:53,236
How about you haney? You
Want to be the livestock judge?
96
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,994
No, thanks, I got
Enough enemies.
97
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,808
Well, we gotta have a
Livestock judge for the fair.
98
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,500
What about roy
Trendell? Why'd he resign?
99
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,969
Yeah, yeah, he's one of the
Best judges we ever had.
100
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,240
All them decisions
Made him nervous.
101
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,908
The tar and feathers didn't
Do him much good neither.
102
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,944
Sam,
103
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,858
Ain't nobody gonna be
Foolhardy enough to take this job.
104
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,882
We ain't adjourning this
Meeting until we find somebody.
105
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:20,585
Good morning, gentlemen.
106
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,720
Meeting's adjourned.
107
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,956
Well, congratulations,
Mr. Douglas.
108
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,202
Congratulations? For what?
109
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,803
On being elected.
110
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,794
You'll be the best
One we ever had.
111
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:30,995
The best what?
112
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,208
So long, sam.
113
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,599
Now just a second.
He hasn't accepted yet.
114
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,880
Wait, accepted what? I don't
Know what you're talking about.
115
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,070
Uh, mr. Douglas,
116
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,539
How'd you like to be a judge?
117
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,240
Judge?
118
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,875
I don't know what to say.
119
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,344
How about "Yes",
So we can go home?
120
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,281
Just let mr. Douglas
Make up his own mind.
121
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,216
How about it, mr. Douglas?
122
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:54,919
Well-um-I'm overwhelmed.
I... I... I came in here to get a...
123
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,899
It's kind of a connecting
Rod for my tractor.
124
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,035
You wouldn't have
Such a thing, would you?
125
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,091
How long is it?
126
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,893
Mmm, like that.
127
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,563
I don't have anything
Like that for a tractor
128
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,831
But maybe this will work.
129
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,766
It's a hots kebabs skewer.
130
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,014
Yeah, that'll be...
131
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,939
Are you gonna take
The judge job or not?
132
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:18,176
Gentlemen, I'm deeply flattered
133
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,444
But don't you have a judge?
134
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,145
Yeah, roy trendell.
135
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,292
Well, what about him?
136
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,349
He's got a few problems.
137
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,284
Are you sure I'm the right man?
138
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,586
There ain't nobody else.
139
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,021
Well,
140
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,189
If you need me.
141
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,924
We sure do.
142
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,427
Then I'll be proud to
Accept the appointment.
143
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:38,129
And we'll be proud
To have you accept it.
144
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,631
Show up in 2 weeks.
145
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,533
In 2 weeks?
146
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:44,135
Gentlemen,
147
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,805
I want you to know that I appreciate
This great honor you've conferred upon me.
148
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,942
I realize that it carries
With it a deep responsibility,
149
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,911
And I want you to know
That I'll do my utmost
150
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,447
To be worthy of your trust.
151
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,116
Rest assured I'll
Weigh every decision
152
00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,518
Carefully and impartially.
153
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,520
Thank you, gentlemen,
For your faith in me.
154
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,921
Good day.
155
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,792
Doggone, he sure took it big.
156
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,062
Yeah, I can't understand
A man getting that excited
157
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,599
About being made judge
At the livestock exhibit.
158
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,803
You mean you're going to
Be a real "Your honor" judge?
159
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,538
Well, that's what
They appointed me.
160
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,408
Oh, darling, I'm
So proud of you.
161
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,488
When do we go to new york?
162
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,379
Who said anything
About going to new york?
163
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,559
Well, if I'm going to
Be mrs. Your honor
164
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,661
I have to buy a
Whole new wardrobe.
165
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,151
Now wait a minute.
166
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,653
You don't need a new wardrobe.
167
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,232
Well, you have to buy one, too.
168
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,455
What do I need...
169
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,001
Don't you have to
Get one of those
170
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,826
Long, black nightshirts
Judges wear?
171
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,128
Those are not nightshirts,
Those are, uh, robes.
172
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,476
Well, you can't wear
Your terrycloth robe.
173
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,232
No, I...
174
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,102
Hey, it might not be a bad
Idea to go to new york.
175
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,204
Give me the chance to
Talk to judge crandall.
176
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,107
Yes, he can tell you where
To get the judge robe.
177
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,576
No, no, he was my law
Professor at harvard.
178
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,280
Is he the one who said that you would
Make a better plumber than a lawyer?
179
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,981
No, that was professor...
180
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,952
Well, he was wrong.
181
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,965
Because you still
Have to call a plumber.
182
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,055
Thank you.
183
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,702
Well, I'm only
Saying what's true.
184
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,759
All right, what
Brought this on anyway?
185
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,673
Well, you said you
Have to go to new york
186
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,508
To talk to judge
Crandall to get a robe.
187
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:22,400
No, no, that's what you said. I said I
Wanna see judge crandall because
188
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,235
There's a lot to know
About being a judge
189
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,471
And he's one of the
Finest jurists in...
190
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,939
Well, he can help me.
191
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,107
Is he a good plumber?
192
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,944
No, that was my other professor.
193
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,313
Do you want to go to new york?
194
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,663
The suitcases are in the closet.
195
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:44,155
You know, lisa,
It's a funny thing.
196
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,624
Ever since I first
Started practicing law
197
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,960
I've always wanted
To be a judge.
198
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,562
Sit up there on the bench,
199
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,264
Listen to the wrangling of
The attorneys as they strive
200
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,633
With word and oratory
To tip the scales of justice
201
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,802
In favor of their clients.
202
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,205
While I carefully
Weigh every nuance,
203
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,908
Every gesture, every word.
204
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,511
Wow, you got a new speech.
205
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,612
What?
206
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,447
I like the other one better.
207
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:12,049
When you get away
From the rats of the city
208
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,385
With all their races
209
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,853
And you buy a farm
210
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,856
And plant the little seeds
In the rich brown earth
211
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,323
And watch the stalks
212
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,494
Shoosting up into the
Sky, reaching for the sun
213
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,863
And the rain and the so forths.
214
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,399
How would you like 30
Days in the workhouse?
215
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,702
Just for reaching for
The sun and the so forths?
216
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,937
For making fun of his honor.
217
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,708
Uh, would the judge
Accept a little bribe?
218
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,109
Like what?
219
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,717
Sentence suspended.
220
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,436
Mother. Lisa, darling.
221
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,170
Hello, mother dear.
222
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,940
Oh, I hurried over just
As soon as I got your call.
223
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:11,609
Oh, it's so good
To see you again.
224
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,623
Get a coat on, dear,
And we'll go shopping.
225
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,112
Oh, good.
226
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,393
Mother, aren't you going to
Say hello to me before you go?
227
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,162
Hello, oliver. You're going to
Need a whole new wardrobe, dear.
228
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,566
I know, I brought 2 empty trunks
To take the things home I buy.
229
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,956
Only 2?
230
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,969
Well, in that case, the
First thing we have to do
231
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,638
Is go shopping for
Some more trunks.
232
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,528
Mother. Get a coat on, dear.
233
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,244
Hello, oliver. How
Are things in slumville?
234
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,501
Hooterville.
235
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,536
Shh! Not so loud.
236
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,840
I told all my friends that you
Are in baden-baden taking the cure.
237
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,677
That's a fine way to
Talk about your son.
238
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,379
Don't say that
Too loudly, either.
239
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,982
I've got a good mind
Not to tell you the news.
240
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,116
News?
241
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,551
Huh! Is lisa?
242
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,886
No.
243
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,966
You don't even know
What I was going to ask.
244
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,690
Well, whatever
It was, she isn't.
245
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,358
The news is about me.
246
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,194
I'm going to be a judge.
247
00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,497
Why, oliver!
248
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:08,232
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
249
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,702
My son, a judge.
250
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,303
I thought you'd be pleased.
251
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,138
Why, it's wonderful.
252
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,907
Now lisa can move in with me
253
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,242
And you can commute
Weekends from washington.
254
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,311
Washington?
255
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,914
Well, isn't that where all the
Supreme court judges work?
256
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,060
I haven't been appointed
To the supreme court.
257
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,552
I'm going to serve on
The bench in hooterville.
258
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,087
But that's horrible.
259
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,390
There's nothing
Wrong with hooterville.
260
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,291
Stop saying that.
261
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,494
Sounds like a mating
Place for owls.
262
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,532
Well, I'm very flattered
About the appointment.
263
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,320
Maybe it is a small town but
It can lead to bigger things.
264
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,769
Circuit judge, district.
265
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,138
Who knows to what
They'll appoint me.
266
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,174
You fellas got a lot of
Nerve giving douglas my job.
267
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,911
I've always been judge
Of the livestock exhibit.
268
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:55,179
Take it easy, roy. We
Thought you didn't want it.
269
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,347
Well, I do.
270
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,227
One more year of
Judging livestock
271
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,985
I get promoted to bein'
Judge of the beauty contest.
272
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,319
But, roy...
273
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,222
And I ain't giving up my
Seniority rights to nobody.
274
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,625
But we've already
Appointed mr. Douglas.
275
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,027
Well, dis-appoint him.
276
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,864
Well, that'll break
His little heart.
277
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,968
He'll be lower than a
Small boy on a tall ladder.
278
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,135
What's that mean?
279
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,904
It means, uh,
280
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:23,775
That he'll be shook up
Like a hobo with a green tie.
281
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,043
Oh, haney!
282
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,722
Look, if he wants to be judge
283
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,506
Let him start at
The bottom like I did.
284
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,214
Judging apples.
285
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,194
Oh, mr. Douglas ain't gonna like
286
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,996
Being demoted to apple judge.
287
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,297
I don't think he'll take it.
288
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,420
Well, ask him.
289
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,521
He's in new york.
290
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,190
Well, call him.
291
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,158
Whose gonna pay for the call?
292
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,194
Well, I would offer to,
293
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,230
But seeing it's your phone, I
Don't want to hurt your feelings.
294
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,272
Lisa?
295
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:56,341
Lisa?
296
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,018
Oh, hello, darling.
297
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,312
What is this?
298
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,325
That's a message for
You, I wrote it down.
299
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:04,482
"Mr. Drooker called..."
300
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:05,717
Uh, drucker.
301
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,518
Oh! Mr. Drucker called.
302
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,787
"Swatching..." uh, switching.
303
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:10,955
With an "A"?
304
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,024
No, that's an "Itch."
305
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,727
Oh, "Switching you
To be a judge in the..."
306
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,829
"In the apples"?
307
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,865
There's no apples judge.
308
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,734
That's what I thought he said.
309
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,035
Apples?
310
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,704
Appeals.
311
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,575
They've appointed me to be the
Judge in the court of appeals.
312
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,744
Is that good?
313
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,746
Is that good? I haven't
Started work yet,
314
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,254
Already they're appointing
Me to a higher court.
315
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,617
Oh, lisa, you've gotta...
316
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,431
You've gotta be more careful
About these messages. I'm a judge now.
317
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,556
Apples! You make it sound
Like it was a county fair!
318
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,792
I'm sorry, your honor.
319
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,728
Oh. I got another
Message for you, here.
320
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,697
Can't even read this one.
321
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:56,245
Oh, this one I wrote in hungarian,
Which is my native handwriting.
322
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,969
Ah, what does it say?
323
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:01,739
It says that judge crandall
Will see you tomorrow at 4:00.
324
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,975
Oliver wendell douglas, eh?
325
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,220
I don't seem to...
326
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,945
Are you sure you
Were in my class?
327
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,613
Well, uh, yes, your honor.
328
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,683
At harvard?
329
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,783
Yes, sir.
330
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,118
Douglas. Douglas.
331
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,755
Oh, yes. You're the fellow
That was the plumber.
332
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:21,325
No, sir. That's what professor
Walton said I should do.
333
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,460
Give up law and
Become a plumber.
334
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,463
I'm glad you
Followed his advice.
335
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,492
It looks like you've
Done very well.
336
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,334
No, sir.
337
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,670
I didn't become a
Plumber, I became a lawyer.
338
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,416
That's what I wanted
To see you about.
339
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,518
You're in trouble with
The bar association?
340
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,809
No, your honor.
341
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,411
I have been appointed judge
Of the court of appeals.
342
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:42,559
Then the bar
Association is in trouble.
343
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,281
Your honor!
344
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,451
Just ribbing. Congratulations.
345
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,987
I'm sure you must be
Very proud of yourself.
346
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,656
Imagine, working your
Way up from a plumber
347
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,593
To a judge of the
Court of appeals.
348
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,662
Where else could this
Happen except here in america?
349
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,065
I'm sure I don't
Know, your honor,
350
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:04,802
But I thought you could show me how
I might conduct myself on the bench.
351
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,738
You want judge lessons?
352
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,005
Uh, no, sir, I...
353
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,114
Mr. Douglas,
354
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,253
Nobody can teach
You how to be a judge.
355
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,789
You're an attorney, you
Should know court procedure.
356
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,758
You've observed
Judges holding court.
357
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,392
Well, your honor,
I'm a little rusty.
358
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,317
You see, I gave up my practice
When I bought my farm.
359
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,220
You own a farm?
360
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:23,554
Why, yes, your honor.
361
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,190
Let me shake your hand.
362
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,559
All my life I've
Wanted to own a farm.
363
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,129
To get away from the
Rat race of the city,
364
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,064
To plant seeds,
365
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,199
To watch the tiny stalks...
366
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,535
Pushing their little green
Heads up above the brown earth,
367
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,972
Reaching for the
Sun and the sky.
368
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,974
The judge said that?
369
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,375
You ought to sue him.
370
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,676
He stole your speech.
371
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,312
Oh, it's not my speech.
372
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,293
I may have said something
Like that, but, uh...
373
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,162
Well, anyway he
Wasn't much help.
374
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,819
Didn't he give you
Any judge lessons?
375
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:56,487
No.
376
00:15:56,555 --> 00:16:00,224
Oh, never mind. I got
A surprise for you.
377
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,294
Here you are, your
Honor. A judge robe.
378
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,362
A judge...
379
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:06,964
Try it on.
380
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,436
There.
381
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,706
Oh, hey!
382
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,020
There is something else
That goes with the gown.
383
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:19,789
What's that? It's one
Of those bangers.
384
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,056
A banger? You know.
385
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,647
An order-in-the-court
Banger. A gravel.
386
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,949
Oh, a gavel! Oh!
387
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,217
Go on try it.
388
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,596
Oh, say, thank you. Go on.
389
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,719
No, I don't want to.
390
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:29,921
Well, go on.
391
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:31,989
Order in the court!
392
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,625
Yeah?
393
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,706
There's something else that
Goes with the gown and the banger.
394
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,330
Here, your wig.
395
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,967
Oh, lisa, they don't
Wear those anymore.
396
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,601
Oh, yes, they do. In england.
397
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,603
Remember the time
When you were arrested...
398
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,739
I wasn't arrested. They
Just gave me a warning.
399
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:52,143
I couldn't get used to driving
On the wrong side of the road.
400
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,477
Come on, try it on.
401
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,346
I'll look like an old beatle.
402
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,882
Oh, come on, try it on.
403
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,283
Now, hold still.
404
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,219
There.
405
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,387
Why, you look quite dashing.
406
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,521
Yeah, yeah?
407
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,757
Oh, say, say. I must have...
408
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,327
Oh, it's too bad they
Gave up the custom.
409
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,661
Kind of adds, doesn't' it?
410
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:13,572
Come in!
411
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:17,001
Um, where do you want
These, mrs. Douglas?
412
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,837
I am not mrs. Douglas.
413
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:23,140
I am mrs. Douglas.
414
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,388
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought the old lady
In the black dress was mrs. Douglas.
415
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:27,578
Where would you...
416
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,927
Just put them right
Down there please.
417
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,561
Thank you, ma'am. Sir.
418
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,364
Thanks.
419
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,234
Your honor, may I
Ask you a question?
420
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,303
What?
421
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,670
Is it true that
Blondes have more fun?
422
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,846
Mmm, isn't it
Wonderful to be home?
423
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,182
Away from new york,
424
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,185
With its crowds,
Confusion and traffic.
425
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,155
Wonderful shops,
Restaurants, theaters.
426
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,057
Oh, you can have them.
427
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,692
Where in new york could
You get something like this?
428
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,306
Driving along a country road,
429
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,030
No traffic, no crowds.
430
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,497
Just the two of us.
431
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,770
What about handcuff harry?
432
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,079
Oh, for the...
433
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,480
Well, uh, what's
Wrong, harry? Officer?
434
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,215
You were speeding.
435
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,524
You were speeding.
436
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,452
I just told him that.
437
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,265
Uh, may I see your
License, please?
438
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,855
Uh, yes, sir.
439
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,938
Oh, that's not a very
Good picture of him.
440
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,528
He's much better
Looking in person.
441
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,332
Lisa, he knows I'm
Better look... Uh...
442
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,899
Officer, uh,
443
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,801
I'm a little
Embarrassed about this.
444
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,136
Oh, well, so am I.
445
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:02,340
Here you are, mr. Douglas.
446
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,375
You see, I've just
Been appointed...
447
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,677
Darling, shouldn't
He salute you?
448
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,324
No, he doesn't
Have to salute me.
449
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:09,713
Yes, he does.
450
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,215
You're a judge.
451
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,285
So that takes care of this.
452
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,552
Lady!
453
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,122
Well, you don't give
A ticket to a judge.
454
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,923
I'm not a judge yet.
455
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,425
You're going to be.
456
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,294
Show him your robe and your wig.
457
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,795
I'm not going to show him...
458
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,497
You folks better follow me.
459
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,899
Oh, officer... Just follow me.
460
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,535
Tore up the ticket?
461
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,382
I'm sorry, your
Honor. Y-you see...
462
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,583
Mr. Douglas, you can't...
463
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,840
You can call him your
Honor, too, your honor.
464
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,142
Order!
465
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:41,812
Oh, my husband has one of
Those order bangers, too
466
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,015
He's a judge with
The appeals courts.
467
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,116
Is that true?
468
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,450
Well, you see...
469
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,185
You want to see
Him with his wig on?
470
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,121
His wig?
471
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,622
It's just a powdered wig.
472
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,402
Yes, I'm going to be a judge.
473
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,504
I was appointed judge
Of the court of appeals.
474
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,194
May I ask who appointed you?
475
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,795
Uh, sam drucker.
476
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,931
Who is sam drucker?
477
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,001
He runs the general
Store at hooterville.
478
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,303
And he app...
479
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:10,241
That'll be $10. Cash.
480
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,425
No, sir, your honor. I
Didn't tell mr. Douglas
481
00:20:12,449 --> 00:20:14,078
He was going to
Be a regular judge.
482
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,247
He's going to be a
Judge at the county fair.
483
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,582
He said what?
484
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,584
A-appeals.
485
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,354
Oh, that's apples. He's
Going to be the apple judge.
486
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,524
Well, I'm sorry, your honor.
487
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:28,225
Yeah, we'll straighten him out.
488
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,761
Hmm.
489
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,308
Wonder where mr. Douglas got the
Idea he was going to be a regular judge?
490
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,498
I don't know, sam.
491
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:36,767
I don't know sam?
492
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:39,275
Of course I know you, sam.
I've known you all my life.
493
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,737
Haven't I?
494
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:41,905
Uh, yeah, you have.
495
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,140
Have what?
496
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,169
Known me! Who said I didn't?
497
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:48,157
Wonder why a man
Like mr. Douglas
498
00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:50,259
Would go around tellin'
Everybody he's a judge?
499
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,044
Why not? He goes around
Telling everybody he's a farmer.
500
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,018
He must have misunderstood.
501
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:57,166
How could you
Misunderstand a thing like that?
502
00:20:57,190 --> 00:21:00,657
Just because you got a farmhouse
And a farm and a speech about
503
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,804
Stalks in the ground
Reaching up to the sky.
504
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,728
Doesn't make him a farmer.
505
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,068
I'm talking about the fact
That he misunderstood
506
00:21:07,092 --> 00:21:08,765
What kind of judge
He was gonna be.
507
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,469
Well,
508
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,748
Somebody better go over
And straighten him out.
509
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,840
Yeah, they sure should. Be sure
You break the news to him gently.
510
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,176
Right. Me?
511
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:22,213
Well, I'd go myself but
I can't leave the store.
512
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,547
Well, ok.
513
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,049
It won't be easy telling a
Man he's not a real judge.
514
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,285
Just an apple judge.
515
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:31,600
I remember the time my mother told me
My pants were just imitation corduroy.
516
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,544
Boy! Just go tell him.
517
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:38,795
Come in!
518
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:41,798
Oh, mr. Kimball.
519
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,867
Oh, mr. Douglas
520
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:45,869
Do you live here?
521
00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:47,571
Who do you think lives here?
522
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,274
Well, I was hoping
Whoever it was had moved.
523
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:51,408
Uh, mr. Kimball...
524
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:54,145
Mr. Douglas, I've
Got some bad news.
525
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:56,247
Well, it's not bad.
526
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,349
Well, it certainly isn't good.
527
00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,585
Well, whatever it is, I'm
Sorry I had to tell ya. Bye.
528
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,455
Wait a minute! What's the news?
529
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,957
I don't know. I haven't
Had the radio on all day.
530
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:09,026
Anything happen?
531
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:11,695
Kimball, you came here
To tell me something.
532
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:13,730
Oh, yes.
533
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,566
How do you feel about apples?
534
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,168
Apples?
535
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:19,681
You know, those round things
That grow on trees with a stem.
536
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:22,206
Sometimes they put
One in a pig's mouth.
537
00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:24,275
I know what an apple looks like.
538
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:27,289
Good. Then you'll make a fine
Apple judge at the county fair.
539
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:29,980
I don't know what
Sam was worried about.
540
00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,209
I'll tell him you took
The news like a man.
541
00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:34,785
Apple judge at the county...
542
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,465
Well, it's not the
Court of appeals.
543
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,729
But then neither is
Imitation corduroy.
544
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,171
Well, so long.
545
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:42,993
Mr. Kim...
546
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,131
Just an apple judge.
547
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,568
Excuse me, your honor.
548
00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:52,969
You can stop calling
Me "Your honor."
549
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,772
Oh! Now you're the governor?
550
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:58,141
Just an apple judge.
551
00:22:58,211 --> 00:22:59,876
An apple judge?
552
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:02,112
Oh, how did that happen?
553
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,294
You know that message you gave me in
New york that I thought said appeals?
554
00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:07,518
Well, it was really apples.
555
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,865
When does court
Open, your honor?
556
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:24,801
Lisa, please, stop
Calling me "Your honor."
557
00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:27,471
Fine judge. Apples.
558
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,139
Oh, don't worry, darling,
559
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,375
You'll work your way
Up to the supreme court.
560
00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:33,344
You'll start at the
Bottom with apples,
561
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,313
Next year, tomatoes,
Then squash, then cows,
562
00:23:36,382 --> 00:23:37,681
Then the beauty contest,
563
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,083
Which I'm not
Going to let you do.
564
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:43,265
Lisa, would you mind getting off
The stand. I've got to get to work.
565
00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:44,388
Wait a moment!
566
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:47,023
It isn't official
Without your judge suit.
567
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,626
Oh, I'm not going to...
568
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:51,194
I'd look silly standing on
A fruit stand wearing a...
569
00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,504
Morning, your honor.
570
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:54,843
Mr. Haney.
571
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,067
Judge haney. Squash.
572
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:59,370
You know judge ziffel. Tomatoes.
573
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:02,038
And this here is
Chief justice trendell.
574
00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:03,885
Chief justice?
575
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,609
Livestock.
576
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,056
Look, fellas, if you came
Here to make fun of...
577
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,446
Oh, judge douglas,
578
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:11,582
We sure do want to thank you.
579
00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:16,119
Dressing up like this has given
Our county fair a lot of class.
580
00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:18,756
You've added a touch of dignity
581
00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:21,325
To an otherwise drab affair.
582
00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:24,861
May I, your honor?
583
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:27,564
Why not?
584
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,340
this has been a filmways
Presentation, darling.
39058
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