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1
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♪ green acres is
The place to be ♪
2
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
3
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:40,505
♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
4
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:44,476
♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
5
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:48,580
♪ new york is where
I'd rather stay ♪
6
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:52,617
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
7
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:56,588
♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
8
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:59,491
♪ darling, I love you,
But give me park avenue ♪
9
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,896
♪ the chores ♪
10
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,264
♪ the stores ♪
11
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,632
♪ fresh air ♪
12
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:08,800
♪ times square ♪
13
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,369
♪ you are my wife ♪
14
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,337
♪ goodbye city life ♪
15
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:15,941
♪ green acres, we are there ♪
16
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,957
♪
17
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,862
Lisa.
18
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,697
Uh, yes, darling?
19
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,511
Did you take my speech
Out of my pocket?
20
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:42,834
What speech?
21
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,314
The one I'm supposed
To deliver tonight
22
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,016
To the hooterville
Chamber of commerce.
23
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,350
It's 3 or 4 pages, typewritten.
24
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,885
Oh, that one is in
Your other suit.
25
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,353
The one I sent to the cleaners.
26
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,177
With the speech in it?
27
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:55,191
I didn't know what it was. And you
Always send notes to the cleaner, saying:
28
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,548
"No starch, please."
29
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,849
Well, why...
30
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,751
You don't put starch in suits.
31
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,586
Those malletheads might.
32
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,955
Malletheads?
33
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,401
Well, that's what
You called them
34
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,492
When they put starch
In your underwear.
35
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:11,596
Are you still sending our
Stuff to those malletheads?
36
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,709
What do you have to
Make the speech about?
37
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,946
It's an acceptance speech
Thanking them for inviting me
38
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,203
To join the hooterville
Chamber of commerce.
39
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,672
Oh, I love to hear
It. Could I come too?
40
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:21,873
No wives.
41
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:25,110
Oh. It's that kind
Of a chambers.
42
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,790
No, it's just a meeting of
The hooterville businessmen.
43
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,294
Well, have a good time,
And make a good speech.
44
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,650
Meetin' of the hooterville chamber
Of commerce will come to order.
45
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,439
Tonight we welcome a new
Member to our organization:
46
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,363
Mr. Oliver wendell douglas.
47
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,499
Thank you, thank you.
48
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,701
I, uh, I had a speech written,
49
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,304
Telling you how much I
Appreciate this honor,
50
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,874
But my wife sent it to the
Cleaners in my grey suit, and, uh...
51
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,775
I read it, it wasn't very much.
52
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,112
Who are you?
53
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,880
I'm your mallethead cleaner.
54
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,983
Oh, well...
55
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:08,387
None of our other customers
Mind starch in their underwear.
56
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:12,790
Gentlemen, gentlemen, we ain't
Here to discuss starch in underwear.
57
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,471
We're hereto discuss
Ways and means
58
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,794
Of bringin' outside
Money into hooterville.
59
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,541
So I now turn this meetin' over
60
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,466
To the chairman of our "Bringin'
Outside money in" committee,
61
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,201
Mr. Haney.
62
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,471
Thank you, thank you. Oh,
Before I get to my report,
63
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,375
I would like to present to
Our new member, mr. Douglas,
64
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:34,446
This genuine silver-plated
Chamber belt buckle.
65
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,580
Oh.
66
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,460
Say, thank you very much.
67
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,816
That'll be $5.
68
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,885
$5?
69
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:44,589
Now, of course, you'll also
Want the matchin' $2 tie clasp
70
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,691
With the chamber seal on it.
71
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,293
No, I don't.
72
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:51,163
Well, how about the,
Uh, chamber nail file
73
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,599
With a 3-color picture of
Hooterville on the handle?
74
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,536
Haney, you can sell him the
Official paraphernalia later.
75
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,315
Get on with your report.
76
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:03,141
Well, as you remember,
At the last meetin'
77
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,477
Several suggestions was made
78
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:09,781
For, uh, bringin' new
Enterprise into hooterville.
79
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:14,553
Now, I regret to report, on the
First one I struck out completely.
80
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,020
Which one was that?
81
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,990
The hooterville world's fair.
82
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,227
Doggone it. I thought sure
The world would go for that.
83
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,928
So did I.
84
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,164
I wrote to 8 different countries
85
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,833
And never got an
Answer from one of 'em.
86
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,471
Did you fellows seriously think
87
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,939
You could get a world's fair
To come here to hooterville?
88
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,220
Mr. Douglas, you
Got a belt buckle?
89
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,689
No. Well then,
Would you sit down?
90
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,713
Sorry, no speeches
Without a belt buckle.
91
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:48,019
Now, havin' had no success
With the first suggestion
92
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,988
Of the hooterville world's fair,
93
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,256
I proceeded to act
94
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,858
On the 2nd suggestion
Of the chamber.
95
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,167
Well, did you have any luck?
96
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,295
No, we ain't gettin'
The olympics either.
97
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,965
The olympics?
98
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,668
Look, the... The... The world's
Fair was ridiculous enough,
99
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,036
But the olympics?
100
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,272
If you're serious
About raising money...
101
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,608
Uh, mr. Douglas, if
You want the floor,
102
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,410
Just wave your
Official tie clasp
103
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,113
I don't have an
Official tie clasp.
104
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,615
Then sit down.
105
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,585
Well,
106
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,433
Guess we'll have to think up
Some new money-makin' ideas.
107
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,036
You wavin' your tie clasp, newt?
108
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,561
Yeah, my brother-in-law,
109
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,274
The... The one that
Lives in kansas,
110
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:35,300
He... He wrote and said that they made
A hollywood movin' picture in his town,
111
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,248
And they used everybody
In town in the picture.
112
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,150
And they sure made
An awful lot of money.
113
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,406
Why don't we do that?
114
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,642
Somebody care to put
That in the form of a motion?
115
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,010
Well, now, I... I
Motion that, uh...
116
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,447
We have a hollywood movin' picture
Made right here in hooterville.
117
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,217
I 2nd the motion.
118
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:53,685
All in favor?
119
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:54,686
Aye.
120
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,388
It's unanimous.
121
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:59,135
Oh, now wait a minute. No, it's
Not unanim... I didn't vote for it.
122
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,460
You got an official
3-color nail file?
123
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,529
No!
124
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,930
Well then, your
Vote don't count.
125
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,467
Milk in a martini glass?
126
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,714
A-all the other glasses
Are in the dishwasher.
127
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:12,738
Oh.
128
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,384
You want an onion
Or an olive in it?
129
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,473
Just straight.
130
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,078
I can't understand these people.
131
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,214
They want to bring money
Into town, that's fine.
132
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,082
But these wild schemes.
133
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,551
You know what they
Voted to do tonight?
134
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,921
To have a hollywood motion picture
Company come here to do a movie.
135
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,656
That would be very nice.
136
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,658
Who will be in it?
137
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,194
There's not gonna
Be any picture.
138
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,698
Just because haney wrote a letter
To hollywood "To whom it may concern."
139
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,400
Oh, is mr. Concern
In hollywood now?
140
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:43,801
What?
141
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,615
Isn't he the fellow
You always write to
142
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,406
At the department of
Agricultures in washington?
143
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,152
The one who never answers you?
144
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,544
No, that's a
Different mr. Concern.
145
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,358
Well, haney's got about as much
Chance of hearing from hollywood
146
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,959
As I have of hearing
From washington.
147
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,329
Well, maybe if you wouldn't
Write those nasty letters
148
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,885
Calling them malletheads...
149
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,788
That's what I call the cleaner.
150
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,658
Oh, that's right,
Washington is lumpheads.
151
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,871
I've got to do something
To get some action.
152
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,662
Nothing on this
Farm grows right.
153
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,264
Maybe you're the lumphead.
154
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:21,473
I have read the directions in
Every one of these pamphlets.
155
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,808
And yet my soybeans
Won't grow right,
156
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,110
My corn is small, my
Wheat's moth-eaten...
157
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,779
You want a paper and pencil?
158
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:29,213
What for?
159
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,760
Well, whenever you
Start talking like this,
160
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,217
It always ends up with
Another lumpheads letter.
161
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,194
"Dear chowderheads,"
162
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,729
"Chowderheads"?
163
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:49,000
Or meatheads,
Lumpheads, beanheads.
164
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:52,337
He has a very good
Command of the language.
165
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,138
But why bring
This to me, melvin?
166
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,218
Well, jim, for a long
Time you've been talking
167
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,053
About making a department film
168
00:07:58,077 --> 00:08:00,211
Showing the hazards
City people encounter
169
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,746
When they buy a farm.
170
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,417
And their chance of
Failure due to inexperience.
171
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,163
And I think this mr. Douglas
172
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,121
Would be a perfect
Subject for a film study.
173
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,723
You think he'd cooperate?
174
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,512
Well, that should be easy
Enough to find out. Call him.
175
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,228
This is jim stewart.
176
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:19,397
I'd like to make a
Long distance call.
177
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,766
Charge it to the
Motion picture division.
178
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,737
I'd like to speak to
Mr. Oliver wendell douglas
179
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,639
In, uh, hooterville.
180
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,284
Oh. Mr. Douglas doesn't answer?
181
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,365
Is there any other place
You might reach him?
182
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,567
Drucker's store?
Would you try him there?
183
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,092
Oh. Get that, would you, doris?
184
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,397
Hello, drucker's store. Sam's
Playin' checkers. Call back later.
185
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,248
Operator, I... I was cut off.
186
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,883
May I get that
Number back, please?
187
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,155
Drucker's store, sam's
Playin' checkers. Call back...
188
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,423
hold it!
189
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,947
Look, I'm calling long distance.
190
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,384
Oh, well you'll have to
Dial operator for that.
191
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,264
Who is that?
192
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,355
Some fellow doesn't
Know how to use the phone.
193
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,223
I know how to use the phone.
194
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:22,927
Oh. He says he knows
How to use the phone.
195
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,808
Hello, this is sam
Drucker. Who is this?
196
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,331
My name is stewart.
197
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,601
Jim stewart. I'm with
The motion picture...
198
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,736
Well listen, mister...
199
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,972
D-did you say th-the
Motion-picture jim stewart?
200
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,974
Well, yes, but I...
201
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:40,244
It's jimmy stewart, the motion picture
Star. He must've got haney's letter.
202
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,414
Ooh, here, let me talk to him.
203
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,515
Hello?
204
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,794
Look, mr. Drucker, I...
205
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,338
No, this is doris ziffel.
206
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:50,889
Mr. Stewart, I'm one
Of your biggest fans.
207
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,824
You sure are.
208
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,726
How would you like
A belt in the kisser?
209
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,594
No, not you, mr. Stewart.
210
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:57,863
Give me that.
211
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,700
Is there anything I
Can do for you, jimmy?
212
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,703
Now, what could you
Do for jimmy stewart?
213
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,139
Wait till I get you home.
214
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,341
Oh, no, not you, mr. Stewart.
215
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:11,911
Mrs. Ziffel, I...
216
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,189
No, this is sam drucker.
217
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:15,758
Here, let me talk to him.
218
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:16,822
Hello?
219
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,295
Mr. Drucker? No,
This is fred ziffel.
220
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,631
are you callin' about
Makin' a picture here?
221
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,887
Yes, but I wanted...
222
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,289
He's callin' about
Makin' a picture here.
223
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,236
Mr. Ziffel? yeah, hello?
224
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,662
I'm trying to get in
Touch with mr. Douglas.
225
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,797
Uh, you want to get
In touch with mr. Who?
226
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,644
Jim, what the... Later, melvin.
227
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,400
Douglas.
228
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,880
He's trying to get in
Touch with melvin douglas.
229
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,036
Well, he ain't here.
230
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,345
Melvin ain't here.
231
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,574
No. Melvin's here.
232
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,275
Oh. He found melvin.
233
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,811
Mr. Ziffel.
234
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,520
No, this is sam drucker.
235
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,649
Uh... Uh... Uh, when you
Gonna make the picture?
236
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:55,419
If you don't mind, I'd like
To talk to mr. Douglas
237
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,554
Go right ahead.
238
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,958
He's talkin' it
Over with melvin.
239
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,494
Hello, hello? Mr. Drucker?
240
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,362
No, this is doris ziffel.
241
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,997
What did you and melvin decide?
242
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,011
When you gonna be here?
243
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:13,304
In a couple of days.
Would you tell mr. Douglas?
244
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,072
Oh. I thought
Melvin was with you.
245
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,941
He is!
246
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,276
Well then, why don't
You tell him? Bye.
247
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,036
Good luck.
248
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,757
Guess what?
249
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,059
I'm gonna be a movie star.
250
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,329
And I'm gonna be
In the movies too.
251
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,142
What do you mean,
You're gonna be in the...
252
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,378
Watch it!
253
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,968
And so is arnold.
254
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,971
And you said haney wouldn't
Get an answer to his letter.
255
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,951
Wait for me, doris.
Haney's letter?
256
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,275
Is that the one to
Mr. Concern in hollywood?
257
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,645
Well, it couldn't
Be. The-the-the...
258
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,212
Uh, mr. Drucker...
259
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,614
Be right with you.
260
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,566
What happened to you?
261
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,256
You like it?
262
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,991
You look very distinguished.
263
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,359
Thank you.
264
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,628
Just dug it out of an old trunk.
265
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,765
Ain't worn it since I
Was in high school.
266
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,099
High school?
267
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,368
Yeah. Us druckers
Skinned out young.
268
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,315
I think I'll wear
It in the picture.
269
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:23,041
You know, they might
Give me a romantic part.
270
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,286
What picture?
271
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,755
Didn't fred tell you?
272
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,757
They-they're gonna make
A movin' picture right here.
273
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,914
Oh, come on.
274
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,785
Well, guess who I was just talkin' to, long
Distance on the phone, not 5 minutes ago.
275
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:34,953
Jimmy stewart.
276
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,021
What?
277
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,655
Oh, I like him.
278
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,424
Does he look as handsome on
The phone as he does in the movies?
279
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,161
Well, he... I-I-I was, uh...
280
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,975
You talked to jimmy stewart?
281
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,800
Yeah. And they're going to make
A movie right here in hooterville.
282
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,602
And everybody in
Town's gonna be in it.
283
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,403
You, too, mrs. Douglas.
284
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,117
Oh, I... I have to send to new
York for a whole new wardrobe.
285
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,286
I need new dresses,
And new sh... Ah... Ah... Ah.
286
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,988
Look, mr. Drucker,
I don't understand.
287
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,623
What's going on around here?
288
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,792
Well, you can read all
About it in the world guardian.
289
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,115
I'm gonna get out an extra.
290
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:05,783
Well, see you on the set.
291
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,819
Oh.
292
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,487
I gotta remember to send this
Over to the barbershop for a trim.
293
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,736
Mr. Douglas.
294
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,892
Oh, mr...
295
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,861
Mr. Kimball?
296
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,932
I wanna talk to you.
297
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,568
What is that?
298
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:25,748
What is what?
299
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,505
The chin spinach.
300
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:28,613
Oh.
301
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,008
It's abraham lincoln.
302
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,308
Abraham lincoln.
303
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,589
Yes, mr. Haney says they
May need one for the picture.
304
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,080
What's mr. Haney
Got to do with it?
305
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,494
I'm taking acting
Lessons from him.
306
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,884
I was rehearsing
307
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,297
When I got a call from
The chief to come over here.
308
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,934
Did you write a letter to the
Mother organization in washington
309
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,802
Whining about your puny corn?
310
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,960
Well, now, look here, I...
311
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,340
The chief told me to come over here
And see what could be done about it.
312
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,830
All right, you got any ideas?
313
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,265
Yeah.
314
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,413
Why don't you shoot it
And put it out of its misery?
315
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,603
Are you trying to be sarcastic?
316
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,873
Well, yes, I am.
317
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,053
Frankly, mr. Douglas,
I'm a little miffed at you.
318
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,589
By writing to washington you made it
Appear that I don't know ny business.
319
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,048
Oh, I didn't mean to
Get you any trouble.
320
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,727
You know what the chief did?
321
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,791
Took away my soil testing kit.
322
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:15,953
Oh, I'm sorry.
323
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,000
Yeah, and it had
My makeup in it.
324
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,791
Well, all I'm trying to find out
325
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,060
Is what's wrong with my crops.
326
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,239
Well, for one thing,
They're not growing.
327
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:26,441
They would have if you'd
Followed the instructions
328
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:29,266
In the department bulletins
You're always sending away for.
329
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,135
I followed the instructions.
330
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,870
And do you know what I think?
331
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,707
I think your department
Is full of baloney.
332
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,177
I'm going to faint.
333
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:42,847
It's just possible that they don't
Know what they're talking about.
334
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,717
Mr. Douglas, be careful
What you're saying.
335
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,945
Some of your
Weeds may be bugged.
336
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:49,187
Oh, come on.
337
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,655
Yeah. Some of your bugs
Might be bugged, too.
338
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,712
Mr. Douglas was
Only joking, chief.
339
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:57,762
Just joking.
340
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:01,833
Well, I guess you won't have to
Worry about this one anymore.
341
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,935
Look, I don't care who hears me,
342
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,270
I just want to find
Out some answers.
343
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,739
To what?
344
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,874
To what I was talking about.
345
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,220
I don't remember all of it.
346
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,488
But I'm sure the chief
Made a tape recording.
347
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,113
Are you going to help me?
348
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:18,381
Tomorrow. I've got to get
Back to my acting lessons.
349
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,154
Does everything have to stop
Because of this stupid movie?
350
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,223
This is a big opportunity
For the town.
351
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,369
A lot of us expect
To become big stars.
352
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,860
Stars.
353
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,339
Say, why don't you come over
354
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,808
To mr. Haney's school of cinema
Acting and take a few lessons?
355
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,234
There may be a part in the
Picture for a sorehead farmer.
356
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:39,904
I am not a sorehead farmer!
357
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,306
Mr. Haney doesn't believe
In the shouting technique.
358
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,586
He claims that
Underplaying a scene is best.
359
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,343
I don't care what
Mr. Haney claims.
360
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,080
You were stupid to take
Lessons from him in the first place.
361
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,660
Well, I'll tell mrs. Douglas
When I get back to the school.
362
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:52,817
What?
363
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:54,819
Yeah, she was the
2nd one to enroll.
364
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:57,655
No, the 3rd. Eb was 2nd.
365
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,157
Do you mean that
Haney hooked them
366
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,659
Into spending good
Money for acting lessons?
367
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,361
You're overplaying it again.
368
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,477
Kimball, over and out.
369
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,834
Over and out?
370
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:11,503
roger.
371
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:23,214
Quiet on the set!
Quiet on the set!
372
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,783
Now, folks, I want
You to remember
373
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,652
That genuine
Movie-type expression:
374
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,788
"Quiet on the set."
375
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:34,225
If you want, you can write it
Down in your hollywood notebooks.
376
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:35,559
I ain't got one.
377
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:38,495
You can purchase them
At the cinema school store
378
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,898
Immediately following
The first lesson.
379
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:44,101
Along with other
Needy hollywood items,
380
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,904
Like, uh, rod
Larocque sunglasses,
381
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,405
Kay francis lipstick,
382
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,674
And lew cody mustache wax.
383
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,045
Now, this...
384
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:57,348
This is the heart of hollywood.
385
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,887
The motion-picture camera.
386
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,124
I refer you to this tomato can.
387
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,961
Which is playin'
The part of a lens.
388
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,063
Everything is
Make-believe in hollywood.
389
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,576
Now, the first thing
390
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,134
For the amateur
Actor to remember is:
391
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,770
Never look into the tomato can.
392
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:22,573
What's that?
393
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,011
It looks like a sardines
Can on a broomstick.
394
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,349
That is the micrey-phone.
395
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,062
Could I have a volunteer?
396
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,522
Sorry, arnold, you ain't tall
Enough to talk into the sardine can.
397
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,399
How about you, mrs. Douglas?
398
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:48,432
Fine. Now, we're gonna give
You your first screen test.
399
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,402
Now just tell us somethin'
About yourself, and act natural.
400
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,550
Well, uh, well, my name
Is lisa douglas, and I...
401
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:57,674
Cut.
402
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,710
That means stop
Whatever you're doing.
403
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,445
Now, you don't start acting
404
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,781
Until somebody
Yells, "Roll 'em."
405
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:07,318
That means that the film is
Rolling around in the camera.
406
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,720
We'll try again.
407
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,390
Quiet on the set.
408
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,325
You've already had that lesson.
409
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,129
Roll 'em.
410
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,176
Well, my name is lisa
Douglas and I was born...
411
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,533
Cut.
412
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,880
But I wasn't looking
Into the tomato can.
413
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,806
Yes, but you wasn't
Talkin' into the sardine can.
414
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,342
Well, if I talk into
The sardine can,
415
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,744
Can the tomato can see me?
416
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,647
Yes. Mrs. Douglas, take
It from an old trouper:
417
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:39,116
Just talk into the sardine can
418
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,953
And the tomato can
Will always find you.
419
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,956
Let's try it again.
420
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,157
Roll 'em.
421
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,392
Lisa, will you get out
Of a place like this...
422
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,994
Mr. Douglas,
423
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:53,064
Don't you know better than to
Come bustin' into a sound stage
424
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,466
When the red porch light is on?
425
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:56,867
Mr. Haney, I don't...
426
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,814
Darling, don't look
Into the tomato can.
427
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,715
I'd like to know...
Whatever you have to say,
428
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,351
Say it in the sardines can.
429
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,176
What I have to say I don't
Have to say in any can.
430
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:08,912
Ever since somebody mentioned the word
"Movies" around here you've all gone crazy.
431
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,115
Acting like a bunch of nitwits.
432
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,583
Neglecting your land...
433
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,251
You don't know
Anything about acting.
434
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,786
What you know is farming.
435
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,222
The richest, most rewarding
Heritage a man can have.
436
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:21,492
Your fortune doesn't lie in a
Piece of celluloid, it lies in the land.
437
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,861
In what you can grow,
And cultivate, and harvest.
438
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,896
Now, please, take my advice:
439
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,565
Forget this nonsense
And go back to your farms.
440
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,503
Cut. Let's print that.
441
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,805
Oh, darling, I'm
So proud of you.
442
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,475
That's the first thing
Mr. Haney printed today.
443
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,576
Lisa, how can...
444
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,046
How can you fall
For a maniac like...
445
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,181
Underplay it, mr. Douglas,
446
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,930
If you wanna get into movies.
447
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,853
How can any of
You possibly believe
448
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,655
That jimmy stewart
Is gonna come here...
449
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,068
Listen, everybody. Listen.
450
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,132
Charley just called from pixley.
451
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,928
Jimmy stewart is on
Board the cannonball.
452
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,164
He'll be pullin' into
Hooterville at 2:00.
453
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:17,814
Anybody see him?
454
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:18,883
Nope.
455
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,665
Hey, mister, you
Mind stepping aside?
456
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,667
We wanna see jimmy stewart.
457
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,724
Uh, I'm jim stewart.
458
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,226
Well, what happened to you?
459
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:30,928
I beg your pardon?
460
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,230
You don't look
Like jimmy stewart.
461
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,244
You don't sound
Like him, either.
462
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,400
Well, I...
463
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,203
You lost a lot of weight
And you got shorter.
464
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,150
You better start
Takin' care of yourself,
465
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:44,108
Or they'll be givin' you
Those short skinny parts.
466
00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:47,411
Oh. No, no, I'm not jimmy
Stewart, the actor.
467
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,623
Then who are you?
468
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,792
I'm jim stewart.
James d. Stewart.
469
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,861
Look, is... Is... Is
Mr. Douglas here?
470
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,686
Well, we thought
Melvin was with you.
471
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,255
Not melvin, oliver
Wendell douglas.
472
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,402
Oh, he lives 4
Miles out of town.
473
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,670
What do you want with him?
474
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,539
Well, I'm here to make
A documentary film
475
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,874
About his farm for the
Department of agriculture.
476
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,931
You ain't gonna make
A hollywood movie?
477
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
No.
478
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,434
Doggone!
479
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,610
Why did you pick
Mr. Douglas' farm?
480
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,623
Uh, this film is gonna be about
481
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,725
The pitfalls of farming.
482
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,849
Then you picked the
Right place, mr. Stewart.
483
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:28,919
There ain't a better
Pitfall in the whole county
484
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,455
You want to film this
Farm as an example?
485
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,034
He said "Horrible example."
486
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:34,691
I heard what he said.
487
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,094
Oh, darling, I'm
So proud of you.
488
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,997
You're going to be famous.
489
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,733
Look, if this farm is
A horrible example,
490
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,946
It's the fault of the
Department of agriculture.
491
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,104
I followed the
Instructions to the letter.
492
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,173
I followed them
Carefully. All...
493
00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:51,875
Mr. Douglas, let's get
That point straightened out.
494
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:55,264
Yes, let's get that
Point straightened out.
495
00:21:55,381 --> 00:21:57,214
Is this corn your worst crop?
496
00:21:57,283 --> 00:22:00,596
Yes, if you don't look at
The soybeans and the wheat.
497
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:01,785
Lisa.
498
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,855
You'd better don't hit me
In front of the government.
499
00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,624
I wasn't going to hit you.
500
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,126
Look, mr. Stewart,
501
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,962
I planted this corn according
To the bulletins exactly.
502
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,964
I planted the seed the
Bulletin recommended.
503
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,966
I irrigated according
To the bulletin.
504
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:20,137
Mr. Douglas, what was growing
Here before you planted corn?
505
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,406
I don't know. What
Difference does that make?
506
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,085
It makes a great
Deal of difference.
507
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:26,855
Didn't you read the part about
The importance of crop rotation?
508
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,990
He didn't read that book.
509
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,648
How about your soybeans?
510
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:32,449
Soybeans.
511
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,896
Now, yeah, I planted them
Exactly as the bulletin directed.
512
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,720
I limed the soil...
513
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:39,557
Mr. Douglas, how soon
After the liming did you plant?
514
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,592
The very next day.
515
00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:44,195
Mr. Douglas, if I remember,
The bulletin clearly states
516
00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:46,441
If lime is needed, it should
Be worked into the soil
517
00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:48,632
At least 4 months
Before you plant.
518
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,800
Oh?
519
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,102
Well, I probably
Missed that part.
520
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,838
I think you've been blaming
Us for your own negligence.
521
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:57,441
You obviously don't read
Our bulletins carefully.
522
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,276
Look, I may have missed a...
523
00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:01,011
You probably didn't mail 'em.
524
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,560
And you're blaming
This chowderheads?
525
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:06,183
Look, mr. Stewart.
526
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:08,197
It's quite possible I was very
Eager to get things into the ground.
527
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:09,565
I may have rushed a little bit.
528
00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:12,256
That's why we'd
Like to make the film,
529
00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:15,226
To help other people
Avoid your stupid mistakes.
530
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:19,830
Be my guest.
531
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,243
I want to get your opinion
532
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,601
On some of this film I
Shot at the douglas farm.
533
00:23:23,669 --> 00:23:24,835
How did it turn out?
534
00:23:24,903 --> 00:23:26,337
You tell me.
535
00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:30,441
What's that?
536
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,843
That's the douglas farmhouse.
537
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,311
Disaster area?
538
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:36,247
No, it looks like that.
539
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:40,384
Who's that?
540
00:23:40,453 --> 00:23:42,497
Now, that's mrs. Douglas.
541
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,841
A simple farm wife.
542
00:23:47,627 --> 00:23:48,992
That's mr. Douglas.
543
00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:51,362
What's he made up for?
544
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:55,932
Plowing.
545
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,335
You're putting me on.
546
00:23:58,404 --> 00:23:59,970
Wait. There's more.
547
00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:06,243
These are some of
The townspeople.
548
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,378
Cut.
549
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,480
I can't see their faces.
550
00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:12,661
Well, they've been told not
To look into the tomato can.
551
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,617
What?
552
00:24:13,686 --> 00:24:14,926
Well, you see, the...
553
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:17,688
You wouldn't believe
It even if I explained it.
554
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,692
What the...
555
00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:22,959
County agent.
556
00:24:26,832 --> 00:24:28,299
From what country?
557
00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:31,602
I think I've seen enough.
558
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:34,838
Well?
559
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:37,188
What do you think I
Ought to do with it?
560
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:45,849
A very good suggestion.
561
00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:27,603
this has been a filmways
Presentation, darling.
38739
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