Original subtitles

People ask, where do you get your ideas?

Right here.

All this is my magician's toy shop.

I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is...

You take care. You hear?

Grandma,

you're not staying down.

He's back.

That's my favorite pastry cook and defender and protector.

Protector? What is in the box?

Presents.

With Grandma.

Upstairs, Tom, in her room.

Counting her money?

Where's that damn dog?

Well, with her, I guess.

Good. Look.

She sicced him on me again.

Old folks defect funny sometimes.

Hilarious.

What the heck, Liddy? It's her house.

Let her do what she wants to do.

And this is for the house. This is my contribution.

Say hello to Mr. Munson.

Mr. Who?

He eats these.

We have got a super -powered kitchen garbage eater guaranteed to chew up

anything.

I got these bones to test it out.

Well, it must have cost a lot.

Where'd you get the money?

You're not the only person that works around here.

I did a job for Hoagie yesterday.

And he paid you with this?

I am looking for a new job.

Honest. It was not my fault that Mulligan's house flooded. His pipes were

than he is.

Hey, you're still my favorite plumber.

It was real sweet of you to bring Mr. Muncher home.

He's lovely.

Lovely? Wait until you see this guy eat.

Hey, Spot, look at him.

You bite the hand that feeds you.

See, you got a lion in the house now.

Hear that, Cat?

Yes, sir. A real live lion.

Hear a purr?

He's hungry.

Thank you.

I brought dinner for you, sweetheart.

Just shove it in.

Grandma, I am sorry.

You're sorry? I'm sorry. The dog is sorry, and you should say the cat.

Grandma, it's only Mr. Muncher. He's a garbage disposal.

Tom got it for me.

No, for me.

To scare me. To frighten me.

Put me in mind of a heart attack.

Well, you took a heart pill, didn't you?

Oh, yes. I'm eating one right now.

A lot of good it'll do me if he's hell -bent to scare me to death.

You tell her, Spot.

There, you see? Heart attacks.

Grandma, now listen.

Tom loves you dearly.

He loves my house, my antiques, and my mattress full of money. That's what he

loves dearly.

No, you've got it all wrong.

And we both worry about all your money in your room.

Well, you should think about a bank.

Or maybe about spending some on the house.

I mean the bathroom, Grandma.

I decide what I do with my own money in my own house. I have plans for it.

And if you had married a responsible man, you would be in your own place now.

Grandma, listen.

Look, I'm sorry I let the machine get out of hand.

Too late for sorry.

What do you call that damn machine?

You know me. I'm always joking.

Look, you'll love it when you get to know it. It's just like a big house pet.

You know, I always wanted a lion. Well, now we got one.

How about that?

Morning, ma 'am. Fine day.

Yeah, sure is.

Thanks.

Honey?

Shouldn't you get dressed for your interview?

It's not until 11.

What's the mail?

A couple bills for us and a letter for Grandma.

Good luck. You will slay them. I know.

Wow.

Fellas. Is Grandma planning you a vacation?

Grandma, Liddy's gone to work.

You should try it.

The mailman left you a letter. Looks real important. I thought you might want

see it right away.

Shove it under the door.

Sure thing, Grandma.

Not it, Grandma.

Now, you better take care with our new friend, or he could chew your paws off,

Spot, or he could chomp your tail off, Mary Bell.

And you, it wouldn't even be anything if you left, Sing Sam.

Grandma, it's a lovely day. You really should come down and fair -load your

And Mr. Muncher.

See? He's even purring for you.

Fee -fi -fo -fum.

I smell the blood of an Englishman.

Be she alive or be she dead, I'll...

Her bow and make my bread

run ahead.

Make sure it's safe.

They're all right.

Swallowed. Poor Sam. Sing, Sam.

Sing. Grandma.

Mom. Look, the hand cage door had come loose before.

You'll be back.

Then what is this?

One feather, Grandma. One.

And I'm next.

You.

He's out to grind my bones and steal my money.

One day you'll come back from the market and I'll be gone. And you'll never see

Grandma again. You know where they'll unpack my bones? Grandma. Goodbye,

Grandma.

So long, forever.

There's the hound of hell now.

Seeing Sam, is he gone?

Where, Lord help us?

Did you?

I cleaned his cage.

The door must have come loose again, that's it.

Murderer! I am worried about her heart.

Grandma, Sam's fine, I'm sure of it.

Murderer! Assassin!

Grandma, I love singing, Sam. I love all of you.

You love my money!

But you're never gonna get it, so scram!

It's us against him now, sweethearts.

Poor little Liddy.

She doesn't understand.

Courage. That's what we need.

Courage, huh, Spot?

Is that right, Mary Bell?

Courage.

Fee -fi -fo -fum. I smell the blood

of an Englishman. Be she alive or be she dead,

I'll grind her bones to make my bread.

Grandma, how are you this morning?

I'll just tidy up downstairs.

You know, take care of the animals.

Should be off in 15 minutes.

Be brave, my darling. Be brave.

There's a good hook there's a good cat

I'm sorry!

I think that she'll never see Bonnie or Maribel again.

You can't believe that, Liddy.

Well, when an old lady's dog and black cat disappears, and when she finds a

piece of fur next to the garbage eater, she's entitled to think something might

be wrong.

Can't you see what she's doing?

I mean, she's getting crazier by the minute.

She put that fur by the sink.

Look, she's trying to turn you against me.

And it's working.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Who have you swallowed, Mr. Muncher?

What is in your fat belly down there?

My little babies.

Grandma is here.

You just have to wait a little while longer.

What's this, Grandma?

Five hundred dollars.

Go on, take it.

But why?

I want you and Tom to spend a weekend at the lake.

I need some time alone to mourn for my sweet baby. And I have some business to

take care of.

Business?

I'm establishing a Spot and Mary Bell Memorial Foundation at the Felix and

home.

She flipped.

I'll pack.

Thanks, Grandma.

Would you come home, Bill Bailey?

Would you come home?

You just have to trust me, babies.

Boom, boom, boom.

Nice joke, huh?

Not bad.

Not bad.

I left Liddy shopping at the mall.

Told her I left my favorite fishing lures. Can you believe that?

Lures. I can believe it.

Yeah.

They should be around here somewhere.

Yeah, here they are.

So, Grandma, I hear you're going east.

That's funny. I heard you went west.

You know, Liddy, I like this Mr.

Muncher. He's a fine fellow.

Morning!

That was some roaring, ma 'am.

Sure was.

You want to see?

Come on in. The house is empty. They're all gone.

Your granddaughter and her husband?

Scabbards!

I thought they were sort of permanent residents.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

muncher, the lion in my house.

Say howdy to the postman, Leo.