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1
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,840
People ask, where do you get your ideas?
2
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:19,620
Right here.
3
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,260
All this is my magician's toy shop.
4
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:29,320
I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is...
5
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:58,370
Eleven.
6
00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:00,130
Twelve.
7
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,930
Thirteen! And there, take that.
8
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,410
If anyone's listening.
9
00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:09,550
Baker's Dozen.
10
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:13,010
Thirteen. I wonder what they'd think out
there.
11
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:14,670
If they'd think at all.
12
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,400
I live just over there.
13
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:29,820
Heard you bell.
14
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,680
It rang 13 times.
15
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:35,580
That's just to remind us that the day of
reckoning is near, that we all got to
16
00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:36,660
lay down and pay up.
17
00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:39,700
Is that funeral place yours?
18
00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:41,260
Yes, it is.
19
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,000
Is it a church, too?
20
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,800
Well, it holds my kind of services now.
21
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,480
Are the tombstones yours?
22
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,960
Well, I'm the proprietor. You might say
I'm in real estate.
23
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,460
Who owns the bodies?
24
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,700
You're such a sweet child.
25
00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:07,530
If you guys want to ask no questions.
26
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:19,570
Right this way, gentlemen.
27
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,340
Dear, dear Mr.
28
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:04,460
Merrill Blythe, what a good life he had,
and now he's gone.
29
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:09,540
What an unfortunate week it has been for
our little community, gentlemen.
30
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:17,100
First of all, respected Mrs. Sheldon,
then forthright Mr. Randall, then
31
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,920
young and virile Mr.
32
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,840
Worth, and now nice Mr.
33
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,280
Blythe. Dear me, dear me.
34
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:26,880
Well, thank you.
35
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,440
You can go.
36
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,160
You too.
37
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:42,940
Gentlemen, ladies, do you mind if I turn
up the refrigeration?
38
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:48,740
I feel a hot spell coming on, and I
wouldn't want you guys to catch cold.
39
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,110
Red light.
40
00:03:58,810 --> 00:03:59,810
Statues.
41
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:01,890
I shall return.
42
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,070
Toodle -oo.
43
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:08,450
Kumbaya.
44
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,050
Check
45
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:21,709
out
46
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:22,669
the suit.
47
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,110
Good to see you, Benny.
48
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:27,610
Ooh, that's a coke shake you got there,
Benny.
49
00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:30,250
You just finished embalming a frigid
woman, huh?
50
00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:32,450
Hey, that's not bad.
51
00:04:32,770 --> 00:04:34,630
You get it, huh? You get it, Benny?
52
00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:36,590
Frigid woman?
53
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:44,150
Did you hear what I said?
54
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:45,830
Yeah.
55
00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:47,890
Funny.
56
00:04:57,870 --> 00:05:00,650
I would like... Speak up.
57
00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:03,870
Ink. Can't hear you down there.
58
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,430
Black ink.
59
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,030
The biggest bottle you got.
60
00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:09,630
Well, why didn't you say so?
61
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,750
What's so funny?
62
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,350
Nothing, so sorry.
63
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,050
That big enough?
64
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,030
Yes, glorious.
65
00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:23,270
I'll take two.
66
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,350
Okay, decoration, various.
67
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,360
Pastry tube.
68
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,800
White sugar frost, two pounds.
69
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:35,580
Whipped cream, two pints.
70
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:39,860
Something extra to put in your
refrigerator, huh?
71
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,120
Very funny, Mr. Flanger.
72
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:48,120
Do you have your own cake?
73
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:50,280
I got a piece of cake, Mr. Flanger.
74
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:51,880
A piece of cake.
75
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:07,350
I'll remember.
76
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:09,310
You laugh. I've got it noted.
77
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,050
You nudge and grin. It's on the record.
78
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,970
Never fear. It is I.
79
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:33,890
Now, to work.
80
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:11,330
Let us be thankful for what we're about
to receive.
81
00:07:14,330 --> 00:07:20,990
Dear Mrs. Shellman, how glorious you
look with that wig pasted on your head
82
00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:24,270
your teeth glued together without a
trace of a smile.
83
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:25,950
There never was.
84
00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:27,790
Remember?
85
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,250
Remember? I remember.
86
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:36,420
How you snubbed me, disdained me, while
stuffing yourself with cream tarts and
87
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:37,620
chocolate eclairs.
88
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,040
And here you are, lying still.
89
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:53,160
You know, my dear lady, you have a
serious, ambitious condition of your
90
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,360
That's been your problem your whole
life.
91
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,380
Bad diet.
92
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:00,580
Too many parfaits.
93
00:08:01,150 --> 00:08:02,470
Too many sundaes.
94
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,490
Too many cakes.
95
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,110
Pecan cake.
96
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:09,810
I'm gonna bake me the best cake ever
baked.
97
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:51,130
Yeah, if you little cake lady.
98
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,650
All curly, cute, and decorated.
99
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,150
Little smile for eternity.
100
00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:04,990
Aren't you cute?
101
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,050
Yeah.
102
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:21,300
We'll shut up for a thousand years, and
nobody be the wiser.
103
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,020
Bye.
104
00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:31,720
Mr. Ren, most beloved of all the races
of the world.
105
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,760
So proud of your skin.
106
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,180
How you prized your paleness.
107
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,220
Pure, superior.
108
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,600
You said you hated all minorities.
109
00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:53,070
A minority of inferiors.
110
00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:54,590
Mice.
111
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,450
Quite so pale, Mr. Wren.
112
00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:04,690
Your face looks like the fresh -driven
snow.
113
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:06,670
Should we try a little blush?
114
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,310
Or should we go for the darker side of
the moon?
115
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,060
There goes the neighborhood.
116
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,900
Edmund Worth.
117
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,560
Ready, Eddie.
118
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:56,080
I bet you this body's seen a lot of
action, sir.
119
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:59,660
But you messed around just once too
often, Eddie.
120
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,620
Someone was bound to rat on you in the
end.
121
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,280
Hello, yeah?
122
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:08,120
Mr. McNamara. It's about your wife.
123
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:17,080
You know, Edmund, most men can repaint
their houses, buy cars, make money.
124
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:20,560
But the one thing most men can't do is
change their bodies.
125
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:25,200
And I've never had the kind of body that
a woman would come up and tickle me on
126
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:30,760
the chin or kiss me on the mouth. So,
Edmund, my boy, I'm going to fit you up
127
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:31,800
for a special coffin.
128
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:48,790
40 bricks, Edmund.
129
00:11:50,130 --> 00:11:55,130
Makes up for 200 pounds of pectorals,
biceps,
130
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:58,870
and triceps.
131
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:05,210
When I die, Mr. Worth, I hope I have an
understanding assistant who will attach
132
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:06,570
my head to your body.
133
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:13,650
Because if I can't have a body like
yours in life, at least I can have one
134
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,650
death.
135
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:25,170
Thank you.
136
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:32,130
Dear all,
137
00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:36,450
merry well, Blight.
138
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:42,110
You alone in this town have never
ridiculed or insulted me.
139
00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:48,290
You alone, Mr. Blight, did not have to
wait for death to become polite at
140
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:54,540
I thought of putting milk in you, you
know, like the milk of human kindness,
141
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,120
run through your veins through all
eternity.
142
00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:01,720
But then, I recall you had died on it
several times before with your comas and
143
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,720
your spells.
144
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:11,680
Well, it looks like you really had it
this time, Mr. Blight.
145
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,100
But just in case you do wake up when
you're six feet under, I think you might
146
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,200
like something to read.
147
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:21,420
So I'm going to give you my little book.
148
00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:25,840
Benedict's Benedictions.
149
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,860
And it comes with a little flashlight.
150
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,920
It's all in here. A lot of laughs.
151
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,700
While I wait those dull hours in the
graveyard.
152
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:40,000
The trio gossips jammed into the one
category.
153
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,239
Rich Mr.
154
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,260
Beller. Birds dark naked.
155
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,640
Poor Mr. Dimity.
156
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,180
Gold coins on each eyelid.
157
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:53,060
Royer Greppin, not buried at all. Burned
him. Put a dead polecat in his coffin.
158
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,880
And Miss Trimble, with parts of the
Reverend Brown.
159
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,380
Oh, dear me.
160
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,300
That was naughty, wasn't it?
161
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,670
Monster! You're alive!
162
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,110
Defiler, say this.
163
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:32,590
Know the things I've heard. Wait till I
tell on you.
164
00:14:32,810 --> 00:14:33,810
Please, no!
165
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:35,530
You parrot!
166
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:42,040
Please, no. Tell the mayor, the sheriff,
the council, the people. Please.
167
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,920
You dreadful man.
168
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,720
I'm sorry. You think these things have
been going on in our town all these
169
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,320
years. I didn't. I'm sorry. Have you
ever knew the things that you were doing
170
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,640
people? Who you monster.
171
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,980
Monster. I'm sorry.
172
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,520
Mutilation.
173
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:00,720
Ruination.
174
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,100
It's awful.
175
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,440
I'm sorry.
176
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,230
People have got to know!
177
00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:16,210
Help! Here it is!
178
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:18,190
Oh dear, what a pity.
179
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:21,350
You! You out there!
180
00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,530
You! Look what he's done!
181
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:26,730
You do it to us!
182
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,800
Don't stand for it.
183
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:40,920
Stop him!
184
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,020
Do something!
185
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,780
They can't do nothing to me. They can't.
They can't hear you. Help me, please.
186
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,280
You're a foolish man.
187
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,280
You're a foolish and dying man.
188
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,280
So now die quickly, huh?
189
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,640
Somebody, please help.
190
00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:01,980
I wish you'd stop talking. I can't stand
to hear you talk.
191
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,320
You horrible man.
192
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:07,880
They'll get you.
193
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:12,440
This
194
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:21,560
time
195
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,960
you're going to stay dead.
196
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,020
Who's tolling my bell?
197
00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:26,859
Who's out there?
198
00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:28,099
Go away!
199
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:31,630
You can't come in. You can't. Go away.
200
00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:33,130
You can't.
201
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:28,589
not in the church.
202
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:29,590
He's just not there.
203
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:32,790
He's not there. He's not in his mark to
array.
204
00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:34,270
Hey!
205
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:37,790
What? What? What?
206
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:43,710
Just what kind of storm was that last
night?
207
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:46,730
The heavens are bleeding?
208
00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:48,010
Where could it be?
209
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,110
Who knows?
210
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:24,490
Impossible. He couldn't be buried under
all these gravestones.
211
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:28,410
Couldn't he?
14565
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