Original subtitles

People ask, where do you get your ideas?

Right here.

All this is my magician's toy shop.

I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is...

Douglas is the name, and writer I am.

For me, a second -hand bookshop is bliss at any time. But when it beckons from

the banks of the Liffey in the midst of Dublin's fair city, then it is paradise

itself.

And this paradise contained treasure.

A first edition from 1916.

of that wonderful autobiography of youth, which reading in my teens had

certain I would be a writer.

Thank you. An enchanted shop, for with my prize from the past, I stepped

straight into a happening and the beginning of a story.

Whoa! Hi.

Terribly sorry.

Neither damage done nor offense taken.

Wait.

You're Mr. Douglas, the great American writer.

Well, not so great.

And you're Mr.

Dune. Well, you being a writer, I expect you're waiting for something to happen

here. Yes, but what does go on? What do I look for? Oh, something awful,

something terrible, and something beautiful.

Ah, hell, come with me. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Do you see that?

A movie theater, yes.

Right then. Come on over here.

Do you see this?

Heber Finn's pub.

None other.

Would you know the similarity?

Similarities?

There's the theater, and there's the theater.

Both are theaters?

Boys!

It's me!

Does everyone know you? If they don't, they're dead.

Hannah and Healy, Riley O 'Neil, Duffy and Kellyanne.

The owner of the pub himself, Heaver Finn.

Meet Mr.

Raymond Douglas, the world's greatest writer.

Outside of Sean Casey.

Now, you're a man of discernment. Would you look here at what's above you?

A theater program.

Indeed it is.

For the riotous opening night of Mr. O 'Casey's Plow and the Stars, 1926.

Signed by the man himself and the company.

Well, that is something.

But then, so is this.

Oh, that is a prize.

Where did you find it? A little shop.

This side of the river, just left of the O 'Connell Bridge.

Clancy, he's the man for books.

Looks like a wild night in here.

Was that said, sir, in scorn or admiration?

Well, I'm not really sure.

But there's a confusion in your mind, then?

Yes, that's it.

Ah, he's confused, boys.

They're all confusing.

Yeah, you say that again.

and Heber Finn's pub.

All three of those, yes.

Well, that's why I brought him around for a special orientation program.

Shall we orientate him, boys?

Timothy's my name.

And you think, do you, there are no wild knights in Ireland?

Oh, I didn't say that. You think it. It shows in your eyes.

Now, what would you say if I was to tell you that you're at the very eye of the

hurricane?

You were in the damn dirt quake half buried up to your neck and you don't

it. Leave off, Timothy.

Now, I brought him here and it's up to me to pray.

Now, you see, Yank, you're here in Finn's Pub, which is the central betting

agency for one of the greatest sporting events of local consequence.

Sporting?

Come along, boys.

Explain it to Mr. Douglas from the States.

Mr. Douglas is in... Pictures.

I write screenplays for the movies.

For the pictures.

Oh, no, it's too much.

Are you staggered, Timothy? I am. Beyond belief.

What is?

Your occupation and our sporting event, they're all in the same bed.

Twins. You're much for the sports.

Do you know such things as the cross country, the 440 and... Other such man

-foot excursions.

Well, I've been to two Olympic Games.

Oh, well now, is it not time you heard of the special all -Irish decathlon

that has to do with the picture theaters?

I've already shown them the stadium.

Shall we explain the rest?

Stadium? You showed me the cinema.

Dune, say who you are.

Dune, the greatest anthem spritter in all of Ireland.

The greatest what, Sprinter?

A -N -T -H -E -M.

Anthem Sprinter. The fastest.

Since you've been in Dublin, have you been to the pictures?

Huh.

Fourteen times.

Ah, you're a fanatic, then, as are we all, through need and as God forsaken

time. And as the film came to an end each night, did you notice anything

towards the peculiar?

Hold on.

You can't mean...

The playing of the Irish national anthem.

Can we, boys?

We can!

Each night, every night, for tens of dreadful years. The end of each damn

all over Ireland and every cinema. As if we'd never heard the baleful tune

before, the orchestra strikes up for Ireland.

What happens then?

Why, if you're any man at all, you try and get out of the theatre in those few

precious moments.

between the end of the film and the start of the anthem.

Oh, he nailed it. No disrespect meant.

I'm not taking it. And so, as you've noted, in that interval, any audience in

its right mind beats it the hell out.

And the best of the crowd is... Dune, your anthem sprinter.

Smile at the man, boys.

The book's open, lads.

A pound on our down. Two on two.

What do you say to a bet on our event?

Oh, sure, I'll make a bet.

Quiet, lads.

Give us a moment.

When you lay your bets, lads, Mr. Douglas will be joining you.

And because he's a sportsman, we'll make it a bet worthwhile.

You can bet on whoever you favor, and I'll bet the other man.

Okay. What are the stakes?

Right. What are the stakes?

Mr. Douglas has a valuable book, lads. One that we could do with showing off in

the pub.

Portraits of the Artist, 1916 edition.

And I'll wager our Plow in the Stars program against your

James Joyce.

What do you say, Mr. Douglas?

I say you're on, sir.

There

you

are. Does an event loom? It does!

Michael! Would you be so good as to show our American friend here the place of

the Grand Sport?

It's my pleasure.

Now, at this moment, not 100 feet away, down the slight declivity

towards the silver screen, seated in the second row center, is O 'Garvin, the

other anthem sprinter.

Your mom's eerie.

That film, wasn't it, happened one night?

Oh, that was last month.

They've not got round to taking down the names yet. This film tonight is a Diana

Durbin brought back by the Askin. But the time is now... 8 .30. In one hour,

cinema will be letting the customers out in a hurry. And if we were to let Dune

here in for a test of speed and agility... To the buff I am. Oh, Gavin

ready to take the challenge.

Oh, Gavin didn't come to the show just for an anthem sprint, did he? Good

no. He came for the Deanna Durbin songs and all. Him playing the banjo and

knowing music like he does.

But if he should casually note my entrance, me being conspicuous by me

arrival, oh, Gavin, I don't know what's up. They will salute each other and then

sit until the end holds in sight. Oh, let me at him.

Can your heart stand to see the blood -curdling anthem sprinters in full cry

dreadful competition?

It can. I mean, will.

That should do you.

Do you have teams of anthem sprinters?

Teams? There's the Galway Runners. The Connemara Treadwells. The Donegal

Lightfoots. And the fastest team of all is made up of Irishmen living in London.

The Queen's own invaders.

But best, don't you see, to flee from God save the Queen.

Five minutes, lads, to the grand ta -da.

Come on, break up, boys.

Off to the movies.

Now, I see the details of our sport have you bewildered.

Well, let me nail down the rules for you. Fogarty. Here. Door listener

Nolan and Kelly. Here.

Aisle judges superintended. Right.

Now, meself as the timekeeper.

Then there's Clancy, Peavy, O 'Neill and Riley, general spectators.

Dylan here has the book.

Timmelty, you know.

General theatre assessor. And Dune, of course, the man.

O 'Gavin is there in the depths. So much for the participants. And now for the

stadium for our sport.

Four minutes.

Exits well placed.

Hinges well oiled.

It's the crowds, you see.

It's a proper mixer, sporting bloods and folks who mind enough to leap aside

should a sprinter squander in his energy come dashing up the way.

Do you handicap the runners?

Do.

Some nights we put a summer coat on one, a winter on another.

Three minutes. And should your man turn terrible feverish swift, why, then we

add the sweetest burden of them all.

Drink. What else?

Fogarty, run that in.

Now, make O 'Gavin take two swigs. All right, big ones.

He's a two -handicapped man.

Two -handicapped?

Well, Dune here has already made his way to Heber's. Even now.

Oh, go on, Dune. Let our money be a light burden on you. Let us see you

through that door victorious and first.

O 'Gavin's handicapped.

Fine.

Dune, inside.

Right.

Good luck, lad.

Over to you, Mr. Timothy.

Right.

Timothy checks the contestants.

Seated opposite each other, second row center, coats half -buttoned, scarves

properly furled. Two minutes.

Post time.

Oh, you're a darling man.

All set. They're ready.

It's nearly over.

You tell towards the end of any film, the music gets awakened out of hand.

Full chorus and orchestra behind the singing maid.

I must come tomorrow for the entirety.

What's the tune?

Off with the tune.

Last bets.

Three pound on two.

That's your decision, Mr. Douglas.

My books on O 'Gavin.

We don't haven't seen him.

Dark horse.

And the O 'Casey is on doom.

A brave choice.

Form an aisle, lads. Over here, yank. With me.

Now, Fogarty, clear your ear to the door.

It's never a way. The damn music is extra loud.

Well, it'll be over soon.

Whoever's to die is dying at this very moment.

Now, just still.

There. The grand ta -ta.

They're off.

Clear the doors.

Here they come.

Listen to the feet.

Oh, like thunder it is.

Come on, do!

Come on, do!

Come on, do!

Come on, do!

Come on, do!

Come on, do! Come on, do!

The winner!

So I am.

So you are.

Attention!

The National Anthem.

Where's O 'Gavin?

O 'Gavin!

Could he have sprinted into the men's now?

What would he be doing in there?

There's an ignorant son of Ireland for you.

O 'Gavin!

Good grief.

They were coming up to you. He had a heart attack and he's lying there.

That's it!

O 'Gavin, dear thing, how

is it?

O 'Gavin, you haven't moved.

Why are you still sitting there? What's that on his cheek?

A tear drop.

A tear?

She has the voice of an angel.

Who does?

That one up there on the silver screen.

Does he mean Deanna Durbin?

It's the voice of me dear dead grandmother.

Your grandmother's behind.

You mean just her singing?

Made you forget to run.

Just, just.

It would be sacrilege to bound from a cinema after a recital such as the like

which I've just heard.

It'd be like throwing bombs at a wedding. You might have warned us that

to be a no contest.

I didn't have the chance. It crept over me like a divine sickness.

That last bit she sang.

The last rose of summer, was it not, Dune?

What else did she sing?

What else?

The man has just lost some of your day's pay.

And Mr. Douglas here is fine book. And you want to know what else did she say?

Oh, sure.

It's money that rules the world. But it's music which holds down the

Hey! What's going on down there?

It is Phil, the cinema projectionist. Phil, me darling.

It's only the gang.

We got a bit of a problem here with ethics.

Not to say aptetics.

I think we should run it over.

Run it over?

Ah, lovely idea.

It is not.

Do one fair and square. No, no, your man may be right. An act of God

incapacitated, O 'Gavin.

You mean a tent -run flicker from the year 1937?

Caught a mind of short hairs?

Fear me, dear.

Would the last reel of the Deanna Durbin film still be there?

Well, it ain't in the ladies.

What a wit the boy has.

Well, Phil, do you think you could thread the singing girl back through the

infernal machine and play us the end again?

Is that what you all want?

Sure. Done.

Places, everyone.

Oh, no, wait, wait, wait a minute.

We don't have any audience.

There are no obstacles. It won't be a fair race.

Well, then, let's all of us be the audience.

I beg

your pardon.

Yes, sir.

Well, there's no one outside at the exit to judge who wins.

He's right.

Your man's become the expert.

Nolan, out you go.

There's our stakes.

Go on.

And as a fine sporting man, sir, you'll know that we can now replace our bets.

Would you like to bet the same?

Well, that's very sporting of you, Mr. Finn.

This time, the book's on Dune.

Did you hear that insult, O 'Gavin?

Now I'm saddled with you.

This time, when the girl sings, would you please go deaf?

Are your clogs down there ready?

If Deanna Durbin and the anthem is.

Anthem as well.

All right, here goes.

Keep me alert to practicalities instead of ornamentation, sir.

Shut up.

Ah, there's the mystery.

I'm counting on you, Dune.

Look, isn't she lovely?

A bed, Dune? Get ready.

All right, let me stir me bones.

Oh, a seat for service.

My right leg, it's dead.

A sweep?

I've sunk.

You'll have to run for me.

What?

Plunge straight, and if you step on anyone, don't look back.

There, the song's almost done. Pay attention.

Am I?

Trying passions win, sir.

The end!

Once again.

And this time, without the anthem.