Original subtitles

Hey, Christian, thanks for the history notes. I didn't give you any notes.

Well, you could if you hooked me up with your phone number.

Please. I've seen your car.

Hey, that's my mama's car.

What's up, y 'all? Hey.

Y 'all set for the 70s, 40s? Mm -hmm.

It's going to be tight.

Yeah, and so will Freestyle Unity. Thank you for hooking us up, Steve. Hey, no

doubt. So, since we got to rock you some old school beats, I feel we got to

check some out. Oh, yeah, you're right. You know, my mom has everything the

Captain and Tennille ever sang. I can get that.

Well, uh, I was thinking more like Grandmaster Flash, Sugar Hill Gang. Oh,

Public Enema.

I can wear a big watch around my neck like Flavorful.

Yo, I think you mean Public Enemy and Flavor Flay for the clock. Yeah.

Whatever they both tell time.

Hey, everyone.

Hey. Hey, this is Bentley Strayhorn, my frat brother and old college buddy.

Hey,

man, well, I got to be your old college buddy. You were a few years ahead of me.

So was the little guy.

This is my son, Jamal.

You're a hottie.

Thank you, smart kid.

You're pretty. You into cute young boys?

Do I look like Michael Jackson to you?

Nice meeting you.

Hey, boo.

Quick, let's make a run for it.

Who's this?

Hi, I'm Bentley Strayhorn, a friend of Stanley's. And this is my son, Jamal.

well, nice to meet you.

Now, any friends of my fiancé are friends of mine.

Fiancé? Whoa, bro, you ain't giving me any good news. That's because there

any.

Ignore her.

She's a stalking psycho.

You don't have to sweet -talk me, boo.

I'm already yours.

Honey. You're almost as cute as my blue pumpkin.

My mom used to call me pumpkin.

Dad, I like her.

Hey, now be careful, son. That's your Uncle Stanley's girl.

I'll give you my Wilson Pokemon cover.

Deal.

Soul train, but I got to split.

All right, girl.

Work on your 70 steps, eh?

Even though you was born in the 40s.

Tell us about the, uh, rent party.

Oh, no, the kids are just rehearsing. They got a gig this weekend.

Uh, listen, uh, I need you to do me a favor.

Boo, you don't have to call it a favor.

Miss Parker, please.

There are children here.

There could be more children.

Um, we were wondering if you would look after Jamal so we can get in a few

rounds of golf.

Really appreciate it.

I'd love to watch you more.

Thanks a lot, Nikki.

And, uh, by the way, you're wrong. I have plenty to do. If you just hold

and let me do it.

Let me go, you gloom.

Come on, Beverly. Let's get to the course.

I need to hit something.

All right, baby. I'll see you for dinner.

Okay, I love you.

Miss Nikki, do you like my dad?

Oh, he seems like a nice guy.

Would you kiss him?

I can't do that. See, the professor and I are engaged.

He just don't know it yet.

Hey, you guys all know Jamal.

Oh, yeah.

What do you guys play? A little rap, hip -hop, this and that.

I do this and that, too. Well, good for you.

Y 'all ready?

See, they're performing at a 70s party, so they're going to be playing 70s

music. Man, the 70s was tight. You could send Ohio players on the MC.

Yo, yo, yo, shorty, shorty.

Look, man, you way up here. You can come down here a little bit, okay?

Besides, you weren't even born then.

I can read.

Oh, come on, T. Lighten up. Besides, Jamal knows his stuff.

Mm -hmm. And he can't read.

I couldn't read until I was... What age, Mama?

It's not important, baby.

Hey, good game, man. Yeah, for you.

Come on, you know I never would have shot a 72 if I hadn't have thumped that

hole in one, all right? Yeah, well, I never would have shot a 100 if that lake

hadn't been in the way.

Hey, Stan, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about.

All right, shoot.

Well, actually, it's been on my mind for quite a while.

Oh, man.

Ever since college, I was afraid that you were going to be angry.

But I'm glad to see that you're not letting a little thing like...

Me sleeping with Karen come between us.

You slept with my girlfriend?

Yeah.

I thought that's what you wanted to talk about.

No.

Oh.

Well, I didn't enjoy it.

You must have did it wrong, bro.

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about.

You know, I haven't been out on a date since Carla died.

But I'm thinking I might be ready.

Well, great, man. Great.

Perfect.

Listen, I just met this hot, and brother, I do mean smoking babe named

Candace.

And yes, she is as sweet as she sounds.

Well, anyway, she has a sister named Cookie, the twin.

Yeah.

So, how about I share my treats and we double date?

Oh, that sounds great.

One problem.

What? You got to find a babysitter.

I'm sure I can get Miss Parker.

Oh, no, Stan. I don't want to impose again. Come on. Why not?

She imposes on me all the time.

She's just one big glob of imposition.

And besides, it'll keep her busy and out of my way.

Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm surprised by how taken Jamal is with it. I mean, you

since his mom passed, he hasn't really been close to anyone. There you go. Then

it works out for everyone.

Now, I'll just call Candy and set it up. Okay.

Candy and Cookie.

Yeah, I'm getting a sugar high just thinking about them.

Uh -oh.

Gotcha. That's the 15th time you beat me.

Well, hey, Foxy Brown.

Pamper ain't got nothing on you. You look good, baby.

Oh, I hope so. It took forever for me to put this outfit together.

No wonder the 70s only lasted 10 years.

I'm having a good time, Miss Nikki. I like hanging out with you. I wish you

my mommy.

Oh, sweetie, I can't do that.

But we can be buddies.

Mama's trouble, and I'm way smarter than Kim.

Well, you got me there.

But the professor and I are going to get married and have kids of our own.

Then why is he out with that lady with the big scary boobie?

What?

I can't believe he's cheating on me.

Oops, I wasn't supposed to say anything.

No, no, it's okay. You did the right thing, Angel.

Then I guess it's okay to tell her they're going to Miss Ann Dale's.

Oh, bless you, child.

Kevin! Yeah, Mama?

I need you to watch Jamal.

I have to be at a party in an hour. Jamal likes parties. Dang, Mama!

I hope you got gas money.

Nikki,

what are you doing here? I thought you were babysitting.

Girl, I'm trying to save my marriage.

The professor's going to be here on a date.

Oh, look, I don't want a scene. I've got Nivea to perform.

Look, don't worry. I understand.

I'll just help out. Oh, no, you won't.

Please.

You can pay me minimum wage.

Oh, you have to work here two weeks for that.

Look, forget about how you feel about me.

Just think of your future guard children, Little Glodine and Stenletter.

Crazy if you think I want to be godmother to somebody named Glodine.

Okay, I'll go put my apron on. Love you, girl.

Stanley,

thank you so much for bringing us here. Well, it's my pleasure.

I aim to please. And so do we.

We can't wait to see Nivea.

Do y 'all always talk at the same time?

Don't wake me. This is too good.

Hey, boo!

Damn!

Hey, watch it! Girl, beat it. Come on.

Hey,

boo. What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Yeah, and who's watching Jamal?

Oh, Kim's looking after Jamal.

And who's looking after Kim?

Don't worry, Bentley.

Jamal's in good hands.

See, Andel begged me to come down and help out, and this is my table.

Let's move.

All right.

What are you doing?

Taking your order. Now, what can I get you?

A shot of arsenic.

Oh, you don't want that, boo.

It's not for me. It's for you.

We're hungry.

You didn't tell me your mama and her ugly twin sister weren't there.

Miss Parker, just take our order and get lost.

Fine. What do you have?

Snapper.

Would you like the rice pilaf and veggies with that?

Sounds delicious.

Oh, it's yummy. But all we got is beans.

Excuse me.

Huh, would you like some drinks? Yeah, those goodies.

Good, because they're ten cents off till eight, so drink up.

Damn, was this an audition for the pins?

There must be some sort of mix -up.

Hey.

Professor Ars, what's going on?

Well, for starters, you're late.

I was just about to ask DJ Old Old School to spend some records.

He's on break.

Are you sure he's not dead?

This party must be double booked. We're here for the 70s party. Well, you're in

the right place.

We're all 70, single, and ready to shake our booties.

Don't shake them too hard.

There's your soup. I didn't order soup.

I know, but I couldn't finish it. And it'd be a shame to waste it.

Oh, damn.

There's my bobby pin.

You're disgusting.

Well, so is your outfit, but I'm not whining about it.

Miss Parker, leave.

And what about our food? I mean, I like being, you know, just give me some rice

and some hot sauce, I'm happy. Spedley, nobody asked you.

Now you sit here and talk to Twinkie and Ding Dong.

Look, Miss Parker, you have one minute to put food on this table.

Excuse me.

Mine's real.

I'm going to make sure. Hey, and I'll look after your girlfriend the way you

looked after mine. Right.

You said you got over that.

Oh, you really did it this time.

A wife's job is never done.

Who, me? Yes, Sexton. I'm talking to you.

My life has been

so lonely.

And I just can't go on like

this. How many times are they going to sing that crap?

I can't go on like this.

Yeah.

So, uh, you think they liked it?

I'll let you know when the applause stops.

I don't get it. They're old. How come they don't like old music?

Maybe they couldn't hear us.

We can hear you.

Boobs were scary.

Are you going to dump Uncle Stanley and go out with my dad?

Wait a minute.

Now, was there some kind of plan you had to break us up so I could go out with

your daddy?

Yeah, that way you could be my mommy.

Oh, Pumpkin, I can't be your mommy.

But I'm sure your mommy's out there just waiting to find you.

But she won't be as much fun as you.

Boy, you got that right.

But I'll tell you what. You can always visit me and your Uncle Stanley.

Our door's always open.

Ain't nobody worth a damn.

I rap like you in the first grade, your old flame. Before the cat passed out,

somebody helped me find shame. Couldn't beat me up, but let's go first. After

you blow, you only make yourself look worse.

Listen, I know you want to refute, but shouldn't you be at home?

Oh,

so you want to go toe to toe, take out your vocals, blow for blow. I'm living

this game. You just do it for show. So it's bedtime, homie, and it's time for

you to go.

Like a daddy boy. You need to stop.

We'll go back to sleep.