Original subtitles

Mama, how'd that sound?

Like music to my ears.

Yo, I gotta bounce.

Tea?

You've done one song, you've done them all. Sing it.

Um, we need to talk.

Look, we can't keep pretending like nothing happened.

I? What happened?

Where was I? What are you talking about?

Homework.

Let's go talk in the balcony.

Watch out, because last time y 'all went out there, it got kind of freaky.

What did you want to talk about?

Oh, I don't know. The weather, school, the big fat wet kiss you gave me.

Uh, that. Yeah, that.

Well, uh, what did you think about it?

I'm not sure.

Me neither.

Well, maybe if we were to try again.

Yeah, uh, just to clear things up? Yeah.

and give me some room.

Well?

Think we maybe need to slow down?

Why? T, we've known each other for years.

Yeah, but as friends.

What better place to start?

What about Marcus?

I'll email him.

I wanted to know if you could please turn your stereo down.

Oh, that wasn't our stereo. That was our groove.

We sound good, huh?

Good and loud.

That's me. I'm cute.

If you'll excuse me, little dude's got to go.

Oh, now I remember. You used to say that famous line. Go on and say it. It's not

going to happen.

Well, you don't have to get all Hollywood on us.

Oh, it's not that.

Come on, Gary. Now, you don't have to explain a thing. You're a star, baby.

on.

I'm sorry.

They don't know how to act around stars.

Now, tell me about Mrs. Gerd. Now, I heard she and... Mr. Drummond got their

freak on.

And you are? Oh, I'm Nikki Parker.

Okay, Nikki.

Listen, it's really nice chatting with you, but I got to get back upstairs and

finish rehearsing. I'm in a new play over at the Crenshaw Community Theater.

I would love to come to your show. Hint, hint.

No problem.

I'll leave a few tickets for you at the wheel call window.

Oh, well, thanks, Gary.

And welcome to our building. Thank you. See you. Bye -bye.

You're not following me to my apartment, are you?

Of course not. You're so crazy.

Oh, how

did

Marcus take it?

Oh, not bad.

Yeah, I mean, after he cussed us out, destroyed the desk, and finished crying,

he seemed okay.

Well, I...

I guess you heard that Kai Kai Kai is sponsoring a public service announcement

on mentoring.

Yeah, how's that going? Well, as producer, I don't mind saying I think I

pretty tight concept.

Yeah, okay.

I thought we would start with the theme music from the classic film 2001 A Space

Odyssey.

You know, kind of give it a dramatic edge.

That's bad.

Thank you, T.

No, I mean that's really bad as whack.

Professor, you need to let our group hook you up with some bomb music.

All right.

I guess it couldn't hurt.

Was it really that bad? Not if your goal was to put people to sleep.

Hey, fool.

There's a great man town. Want to go?

Not with you.

Gary Coleman?

Gary's our new neighbor. He lives upstairs from me. Gary Coleman lives in

building?

Oh, I gotta sit down.

He gave me tickets to his show tonight, and it will be a shame that one

of them will have to go to waste.

Well, maybe.

Are the seats together?

Of course.

All right, I'll pick you up at 7.

Hey, Gary.

Uh, hi, Nikki. Uh, did you like the show last night? You're a star.

You can do much better than that little place.

It's community theater.

It's 20 seats.

What kind of community is that?

I'm acting.

I know, but you're an American icon.

Now, what... if John Travolta thought Welcome Back Carter was the end of his

career.

Look, Nikki, I appreciate your honesty, but I gotta go. Hold up.

Now, you can start your comeback by getting the lead in that play.

Just let me have a word with the director, and I guarantee I'll give you

results. Oh, please don't.

Okay. If that's the way you want it. That is the only way I want it. I'll see

you. Okay.

He's just like my boo.

He don't know what he wants.

Okay.

So, Nikki, my director said I should talk to you.

Why does he want me to talk to you?

Well, after I gave him your list of demands, you know... List of demands?

You know, I'm top billing.

Bigger dressing room, more money?

I didn't ask for that.

I know, so that's why you have me.

See, I'm going to tell you, we had to go at him strong. Show him you ain't no

punk.

What did he say?

Um, he said fine.

Really? He said fine.

To your demands.

I'm just going to explain to him that you're a psycho.

And maybe I'll get my job back.

It's too late for that. You've already been replaced.

Replaced? With who?

Emmanuel Lewis from Webster.

Just stopped by to see if you had any empty boxes. Since you got me fired, I

have to move.

Oh, that won't be necessary, because I've been calling all around town trying

get you a gig.

Oh, great.

So, how you doing?

Well, not a bite.

Yet. But as your manager... Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Where did you become my manager?

Well, I figured since I'm getting 10 % of your salary, I should have a title.

Yeah, wacko.

But what you really need is your own show where the stars come to you.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

Sure it can and it will.

You just have to believe in yourself.

And do you trust me?

Hell no.

Well, I can live with that. Now look, you know people and I know people. I say

we shoot a new talk show called Gary and Company.

and blow Leno and Letterman out the water.

I'd rather just shoot you and call it a day.

It's time for Gary. Gary!

And company.

What? It's time for Gary.

Gary! And you and me.

Come on.

Gary. Come on.

Gary. Gary!

And company.

What? It's time for Gary.

Gary! And company.

You sounded really awesome tonight.

That's only because you inspired me. Well, that's because I was thinking of

Is it getting hot in here?

No, but it's getting corny up in here.

Well, don't hate.

Ho, ho, ho.

Hey, Mr.

Coleman. I just want to say it's an honor and a privilege to have you here.

A man of your stature.

Yeah, I mean of your caliber and my presence.

Thank you, but I don't know why you're sucking up to me.

I can't do a thing for you. Yeah.

Well, I just wanted to let you know that I was a member of your fan club.

Did you get my letter?

No.

Well, I wrote you and I said... Hey, Nicky.

I thought you were going to use your connections to get me some real TV

time. This is real.

What do you think about the set?

It screams public access.

And isn't that what we're trying to access?

The public?

Where's the director and the producer?

Hello.

God.

Oh, don't worry, girl. Now I got your back.

I haven't got you your very own band and sidekick.

And here comes the sidekick now.

It's Gary.

Fine. Look, since we're going to be working together, I wonder if you could

that famous line for me.

No offense, Kim, but I used to get paid to say that line.

I'll give you a dollar.

Gary, I thought you said you had a few commitments for the show.

No, I thought you said you had a few commitments.

We can't get the studio again for months, so we'll just have to wing it.

Don't worry, I'll get you some gas.

Hey, Professor!

I never did thank you for giving up your studio time and letting us do the show.

But I was sure to do that tonight.

In the bed.

Back it up!

Now, I did this strictly for Gary.

I just love the little guy.

That's funny because he was just saying how he would love for you to be his very

first guest. Me?

I'm not worthy.

He's really interested in your mentoring program.

All right, well, I'll do it. I mean, you know, for the kids.

Me as a show guest?

Girl, now Gary is really interested in hearing about your rags -to -riches

story.

I never wore rags.

Look, are you in or out?

In. All right, just listen to your cue. Okay, cue.

Okay. All right, everyone, it's time to get started. Now, T, I'm going to need

lots of energy from you. You got it.

Kim, now your job as Gary's sidekick is to laugh at anything he says. So, Mama,

what if he isn't funny? Kim!

How's that? Good, good, good.

Now, Stevie, are you sure you can handle being the announcer?

mention my man, Pete.

And give it up for the flyest, finest honey at SMC, my woman, Stevie!

And now, please welcome our host, a man we all know and love, Gary Coleman!

Thank you, thank you, and welcome to Gary and Company.

Kim, how was your weekend?

Cosby show. Now she's all grown up.

And she's not here.

She's probably stuck in that awful Los Angeles traffic.

Right, Kim?

So with great hesitancy, please welcome my next guest, Professor Stanley

Ogilvie.

professor. What is your problem?

Thank you.

Anyway, professor, I understand your fraternity is starting a mentoring

Yes, we have.

We feel that it's very important.

Is it true that you were once a stripper?

Hey, I just read what's on the card.

No, I was never a stripper. Who told you that?

I did, boo.

Remember, that's how you pay for college.

Ask him to do the booty clap.

Come on, man. You don't have to do this booty clap. Come on.

Let's see it.

Let's see it.

Come on, man.

Booty clap in college. Let's see it.

So, Andrea, do you have any words of wisdom for all the independent sisters

there?

Yes, Gary.

Listen to me.

If you're hungry, come on down to Ann Dale's. If you're thirsty, come on down

Ann Dale's. If you have a fine brother who's single, definitely tell him to

on down to Ann Dale's and ask for me, Ann Dale.

Okay, that was shameless.

Let's give it up for Ann Dale.

Well, I was going to wait to the end of the show to do this, but some... tells

me this is the end.

I want to thank my director and producer, Nikki Parker.

Yay, Nikki!

No, don't stop.

Nikki's the reason I stand before you all today.

While her intentions were good, nothing else was.

But, blame me.

I was the one who bought into all her hype about me being a big star, and

just not what I'm about.

So, thank you for tuning in, but this is the first and last episode of Gary and

Company.

Why?

I'm trying to help you out, because it's not like you're funny.

Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, what are you doing?

Something I should have done a long time ago.

I don't want to be a big star. I just want to act.

It's time for Gary. Gary!

And company.

What? What? It's time for Gary.

Gary! And you and me. What? What? It's time for Gary.

Gary! And company.

What? What?

Oh, come on, Mama.

You still depressed about Gary's show?

Damn. I ruined a man's life.

He hates me.

He doesn't hate you.

Not much.

Get that.

Hi, Jerry.

Um, Gary?

Good news, Nikki.

So, you gonna do the show?

No, I said good news.

My agent got a call from a producer who claims that a woman harassed him into

watching a tape of my show. I can explain.

No need, no need.

He wants me to do a new TV show called Once a Star.

Former television stars are going to live under one roof in a beautiful

beach house.

See, I told you it would work out.

Guess I wasn't such a bad manager after all.

You stunk.

Now about my 10%. How about it?

And that's my final offer.

Lady, you need help.

Now that's funny.

What you talking about, Willis?

No, that's not it, Mama.

It's dynamite!

I, as your manager, I won't rest till I get you a job.

That was Spanglish.

Now, I did the... All these former

TV stars live in one roof.

under a beautiful Malibu beach house.

Under?