Original subtitles

I know y 'all were talking about my birthday.

What makes you think that? I'm a psychic. I got ESPN.

Then you know she wasn't able to get those tickets to see Tweet.

Dang, Mama, that's all I wanted for my birthday. Good.

Then she won't have to get you anything else.

I'm sorry, baby. I tried, but the concert was all sold out.

But I got you a Gap poster of her.

Sweet. She thinks.

Happy birthday to me. All right. Happy birthday. To you.

That tweet poster was a nice touch. It was, huh? Now, you sure Rochon can hook

us up with the tickets? Because you remember what happened at the Patti

concert? There is no triple E row.

But that was an innocent mix -up. Yeah, well, thank God Patti's so loud we can

hear it from the parking lot.

Also, remember, he made it up to us with that Luther concert.

Honestly, that was the skinny loser.

Girl, I like the big loser.

You get more for your mother.

leave as they allowed you to reproduce.

Professor, are you coming to my party Saturday?

Oh, dear God, is it that time of year again?

Yeah. Kim, every year you ask me, and every year I say no.

And every year you show up without a gift.

Sorry, but I need to rest that night because I'll be getting my groove on at

Tweet concert Sunday.

Baby!

Professor, you need a day? Because I can be ready by 6 .30.

Just my luck, only one ticket home.

I can sit on your lap. Oh, no, no offense.

I plan on having kids one day.

Well, now, wait, boo. We can make that happen right now.

What's up, dog?

Hey, what up, man?

Ladies, Kim, Stevie, like you to meet my boy, Marcus.

Hi. Hey.

So you still gonna bounce in the studio tonight? Oh, yeah, for sure. All right,

cool. It's nice meeting you, Kim and Stevie.

Oh, he is to you?

Yeah, he is.

Stevie, you should have given him your number.

Oh, I couldn't.

That would make me feel a little desperate.

But you are.

Me, Stevie, and T are going to Vegas for the weekend.

Uh, you can't. Why not? Well, because, um... Because what?

Because, um... Shoot.

Me and that dog got you tickets to go see Twig. Ah!

I got you!

Did I just get played? Like an old Barry White album.

Thanks, Mama. I gotta go tell Stevie and T.

You just couldn't keep your big mouth shut, could you? Girl, she tricked me.

Ooh, you need serious help if Kim tricked you.

Look, um, let me see the tickets.

Okay, but let me tell you what happened first.

Ooh, I saw the finest little chocolate drop sitting at the bus stop.

Well, did you get his number? Well, I had to give him mine because he's in

between jobs right now. He don't have a phone.

So, uh, no phone, no job, and no car.

I saw the cutie. I told him he was fine.

I pulled out a piece of paper, wrote my number on it. Oh, my God. I wrote my

number on the envelope with the tickets.

You what?

No big deal.

I'll just get him back when he calls me.

I thought you said he was fine.

He is.

Girl, he ain't calling you.

Now, I'm going to find Rashawn. Come on.

I'm telling you, it was one of the best dates I've ever been on.

You had a date?

With who?

Our new man, Marcus.

Well, he's not my new man.

Yet.

You went out with Marcus?

It's so hard to believe about that.

I mean, you two have nothing in common.

Well, sure we do. I mean, we love the same movies, music, we have the same

political beliefs, and I make him laugh.

Steve, Marvie makes me laugh, but that doesn't mean I'll date him.

Hey, gorgeous.

Hello.

I was talking to Stevie, but you're cute.

For you.

Oh, thank you.

It's beautiful.

Can I take you to lunch?

Well, let me check my schedule.

Why? You always free.

Okay, I will see you guys later.

I think she's still got money.

I can't believe after 15 years of hooking you up, Rashawn gets busted

I can't believe you told Kim about those tickets.

What am I going to do?

Huh? I got it.

All right, girl, I'll see you later because I'm tired.

Girl, get your... We don't have the tickets. Okay.

So, Ms. Parker's promised to stay away from me for six weeks?

Uh,

make it four.

Make it eight.

Deal.

Girl, what kind of negotiator are you?

Amdell, you promised me she wouldn't talk.

So we have a deal, right?

Yeah, okay.

Kim is going to be so excited.

Uh, Professor?

It says row triple E.

Yeah, pretty good, huh?

I didn't even know they had a triple E row.

There's no such thing as row triple E. Where did you get this ticket from? I

don't know. Some guy named Ruchon.

Well, I hope Kim won't mind listening to a tweet from the parking lot.

She won't have to.

It's my baby's 21st birthday.

I'm getting her in that concert one way or another.

believe my mama didn't come through for me. I can't see Tweet.

Alan's away.

My life is over.

Might as well be turning 30.

Kim, you will still have your party and I will make sure you have fun.

Isn't she great?

She's not so great she didn't get me tickets to see Tweet.

Really? Because she got us front row seats.

I was just kidding.

Oh, I gotta get to class.

I'll call you later. Okay.

Girl, you better go gargle.

Ain't no telling where those lips have been.

What is your problem, T?

I'm just saying.

Every man has a little play in him.

T, Marcus isn't a player. He's only had one girlfriend.

Yeah, sure he did.

Her name is Annette. They grew up together. They dated for three years.

your information, she broke up with him.

I think you're jealous.

Jealous? Yeah, jealous.

Because I've found someone and you haven't.

Where are tweets from yet?

No, I'm just trying to catch my breath.

You sure you're the only one in there?

weighs a ton okay

thank you

help

me out of this what was that wise crack about weighing a ton you tried pushing

you

your paycheck oh oh that

was close oh funniest my favorite okay give me some let's raid the

mini bar in a fancy place like this they must have some hours housekeeping

What is that crazy housekeeper? You're crazy, Vaughn.

She probably went out the back door.

Oh,

funniness.

I like this.

Matter of fact, Kim, I did.

Really? I felt so bad about the ticket mix -up thing that I bought you this.

It's a Gap poster of Tweet.

Dang,

were they giving these away?

Well, no. Actually, you had to have a $100 purchase.

You like my new shoes?

You need to stop tripping. What are you talking about?

Stop hating.

Besides, you know Stevie can't keep a man.

We can jump in and it'll break our phone.

Backstage is packed. I can't even get my mama in.

There's nothing I can do.

But I can give you a gap poster.

Marcus, you are so funny.

I'll be right back.

I miss you already.

Uh, Stevie, can I holler at you for a second?

Trying to protect me. From what?

To me, Marcus is a great guy.

Look, whatever.

I just want you to remember who's had your back all these years.

And I really appreciate that, okay?

But I can take care of myself.

You know, Kim was right. You are jealous.

Of what? Of me.

Having a boyfriend.

Look, you can have ten boyfriends for all I care. Okay, then why are you

like such a jerk?

I'm looking out for you and I'm acting like a jerk?

Look, forget it. Fine, I will.

Good. Good. Right back at you.

Tell him, take a number.

I'm really surprised you guys are having a celebration at a time like this.

Well, um, we decided to have a wait while Kim...

Just had a medication.

Baby!

Can you hear me?

Yeah, Mama, stop yelling.

Hold up. Your daughter seems perfectly normal to me.

Spend ten minutes with her.

Come on.

What's really going on here?

Okay, okay.

All Kim wanted for her 21st birthday was to come and see you.

But your concert was all sold out.

And you were willing to risk your life out there on that ledge?

Well, see, the ledge wasn't part of the plan.

I just wanted my baby girl to be happy on her birthday.

That's so sweet.

It sure is.

Kim, I'm glad to be here at your party. I don't have a gift.

How about a song?

One birthday song's coming right up.

But I did that.

Girl, she tricked me.

Hal.

See, Marcus is a great guy.

Look, whatever.

You know, I don't even know the rest of my line right here, but...