Original subtitles

That's my third ticket this week.

Fourth. I had to order another ticket book.

Look, man, give me a break. You know I live here.

I also know you don't have your parking permit displayed.

I lost it, but I'm waiting for my new one. Late. It's not my problem.

I'm just doing my job.

Your job?

Ha! You Barney Fife wannabe.

Where'd you get your badge? Toys R Us?

What do you think about that?

This one's glittering.

great news for you.

You two have been selected as this semester's Deans of Pledges.

Wow, Regina, this is quite an honor. Of course it is. Regina, I can hardly...

Well, you're starting to bore me.

Bye.

Hi, y 'all. How is rush week going?

Oh, great. As big sisters, me and Stevie get to touch a new line of girls.

Oh, well, if you little big sisters will excuse me.

I see a frat brother I love to rush.

Come on, come on, come on.

What do you want, Miss Parker?

I just got by to be a sweetheart to a certain caw, caw, caw.

Tea?

Look, Nikki, we're trying to recruit a new crop of pledges here.

Making our to -do lists for the pledges.

What?

I think it's shameful how you two plan to use those girls as your personal

servants. Mm -hmm.

Shameful. Do they do windows?

I thought the purpose of pledging was to bond and learn the values of the

sorority. It is.

And this sorority sister values a good pedicure, manicure, and someone to

constantly tell me how beautiful I am.

They have to lie, too?

Sounds good to me, too.

And who are you talking to?

Girl, who is that?

Uh, okay.

All right, bye.

Hey, there.

I know you're not going to leave me hanging.

Look, I just didn't want to jinx it, but I met a new man.

Oh, girl, who is he? What does he look like? I need details, girl.

He's nice, he's dependable, and has a good job of benefits.

Oh, he's married.

Maybe we should go out on a double date.

Okay, good.

Who are you going to bring?

Girl, you're so crazy.

Come on, Eugene.

Stand up straight.

I am standing straight.

Sway back.

T, what happened to the other two guys that were supposed to pledge?

They're pledging Omega.

Oh, man.

Yo, where the AAA's at?

What you talking about, Regina?

Well, Lilo and Stitch.

Meet the new pledges.

Shay Shay, Keisha, and Klepto.

Regina,

these aren't the girls we picked.

No, but these are the girls you've got.

No mistake.

Let's do the damn thing.

You ladies don't really strike me as the sorority type. What you mean by that?

I'm sorry, did I speak?

I've never seen you guys around here before.

For your info, we go to school here part -time, shall we? Yeah, so let's get

started, because we've got to get back to the house by 6.

We live in a halfway house over on Vince.

Okay.

Well, ladies, um, we can just start with you all lining up and, uh, and going to

get us some hamburgers.

Yeah, hamburgers.

I got a better idea.

Why don't you two get up first?

minutes. He's on his way to pick me up for lunch.

Looking like that?

Oh, you're right. I better go put on my face.

Better put on a new body while you're at it.

Don't hate me because my man actually wants me.

Hey, Mama.

Hey, baby.

Your parking permit came.

You better put it in the car before you get another ticket.

Oh, I'll do it later, baby.

I'm about to meet Endell's new man.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

You better not be here to give me a ticket. No need. I already left it on

windshield. You what?

Come here.

Traffic service officer.

Check the stripes, sister.

Ooh, and Dale got herself an army man.

And, uh, this is the meter maid that's been giving me all those parking

Once again, it's traffic service officer.

You know this cycle?

Uh, yeah, this cycle's my best friend. Nikki Parker, me, Franklin Pierce.

Nice to meet you.

Don't you have to be at least 50 pounds to work for the city? That's what I'm

talking about. No, don't bring it.

You don't know me, Anda. I know you.

Nick, if you want to stop getting parking tickets, you need to try a

tenderness like I did.

Instead of parking tickets, I got a date.

Yeah, but I ain't fast like you.

Come on, Nick.

Okay, girl, I'll give it a try.

choking thing, Frankie.

It's Frank -lin.

Oh, uh, my bad.

Frank -lin.

Um, I hear the training down at the Perkin Academy can be pretty rigorous.

Yeah, actually, it's very intense.

Damn, I was joking.

Phoebe, read that part again about J -Lo and the aliens.

You guys are supposed to do things for me.

We are. We let you read to us.

Okay.

Authorities say that a friend of a friend of J -Lo's bodyguard claimed the

superstar was abducted by aliens.

They probably took over her mind, too.

That's why she left P .D.

and yogurt and steak.

Who's running things?

I guess you're right, Mama.

I'm going to show them.

Isn't everybody cool?

You know, T, back in the day when I was an undergrad, cock -pot -tie used to be

the frat.

Now we... we just look like... Crap?

Yeah.

Look, I'm gonna turn Eugene into a triple -X man, even if it kills him.

Eugene, you gotta look sharp, man. You are only pledge this semester.

You gotta represent. But I don't wanna represent.

I want to be on the chess team.

I'm only doing this because my dad made me.

Thanks, Professor.

We played out. No, no, no, no, T. We're not.

Now, why don't you go talk to that brother over there about joining our

fraternity?

Excuse me, brother.

Have you considered pledging kai -kai -kai?

No, I'm already pledging triple A.

But we should hook up. You cute.

Professor, help!

Regina, why haven't you returned our calls?

Do I ever?

Why didn't you tell us about those girls?

What? Is that they're a little rough around the edges?

Rough? Regina, they're convicts.

Correct, then.

Ex -convicts.

Bottom line, they'll never amount to anything.

Once a loser...

They kind of remind me of you two when you were pledging.

Uh -uh, we dress better.

No, not really.

How did we get mixed up with them anyway?

This was all a part of the sorority's community outreach program.

But trust me, there is no way those hood rats will ever become AAAs.

Especially that big, tall, mannish one.

Well, keep up the good work. Gotta run.

A -A -A!

So what did Nappy Lock say about us?

She kind of said you were losers and you never amount to anything.

And she called you mannish? Mm -hmm.

Who's she calling mannish?

I bust off.

Oh, what does she know? I mean, all you need is mascara, blush, lipstick, a

wax, a weave.

We need to go be homegirls now. Damn. Yeah. You know what? I've got a better

idea.

City of Santa Monica versus Nicole Parker?

Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I will be representing myself today.

I hope so, Ms. Parker. This is just traffic court.

I would like to call my first character witness to the stand.

There is no stand.

Just stand up right where you are.

Could you please state your name?

Mama, you know my name.

Kim. That's it.

Have you witnessed any unnecessary ticketing?

in the neighborhood?

No.

I'm talking about me.

Well, if you would just use your permit, you wouldn't keep getting these

tickets. Sit down, Cameron.

Next, I would like to call Andell Wilkerson to the stand.

Miss Wilkerson, could you please tell the court a little about my character?

Sure. Your Honor, Nikki Parker is a very nice person.

Thank you, Andell.

Ooh, but when she snaps, it's ugly.

I object.

Let me tell you about this time she threw this Girl Scout down the stairs.

down. Remember you as man because she was out of thin men?

Sit down.

Oh, wait.

I've heard enough.

I wish it was in my power to lock you both up.

Your Honor, may I please speak?

Oh, great.

The meeting maid has something to say.

Traffic service officer.

Your Honor.

I would like to ask the court to please dismiss the fine.

If Ms. Parker agrees to use her permit, do community service, and stop calling

me a meter maid.

Or Ms. Parker can pay the fine of $325, and you can all leave my courtroom.

Next case.

What?

You okay, Nick?

Yeah, girl, I'm okay.

No hard feelings?

No, Franklin.

I guess if you do the crime, you pay the fine.

No, Mama, if you do the crime, you do the time.

They should lock you up.

I'll meet you at the bus stop.

So where are your hoodlums?

Getting booked and fingerprinted.

Yes, big sister, blonde and lovely.

Well, then let's hear it backwards.

Yes, big sister, sweet and petite.

Omega, psi, ti, phi, epsilon, tau, sigma, rho, pi, omicron, xi, mu, nu,

kappa, iota, theta, eta, zeta, epsilon, delta, gamma, beta, alpha.

We feel these ladies are worthy of a membership into the sorority.

Aren't you crazy?

You want to tell them they're not?

Welcome to our glorious sisterhood.

Big Sister Regina, thanks for your evil ways and mean words of criticism.

We, the graves, were forced to take a good look at ourselves.

Yup, because back in the day, we would have just cut you.

But because of you, we feel we are better women for having gone through

experience.

See there, I told them you could do it.

And to show our gratitude, we baked you a cake.

Wow, it's my favorite devil's food.

Figures. Why don't you have a piece? I'll just wait till later.

Or now is good.

Hey, ladies.

That was a really sweet gesture.

Not really.

Does anybody want a piece?

No, sorry. Cool.

More for me.

You know how she's always saying she got to run?

Hmm. Now she'll have a reason to.

What do you mean?

You got me slapped in the face with her chocolate?

So mean.

Hey!

Hey!

Now you know you have to wear your pledge clothes at all times.

That's what I came to tell you. See, I'm dropping lines.

You can't do that.

this pledging stuff?

Making my asthma act up.

You got a doctor's note to excuse you from pledging?

Yes.

But if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my jazzer side class.

Um, ladies,

it would be a pleasure to welcome you to Triple A's right now, but I have to...

We know!

You gotta run.

Run, Regina, run!

Hey,

Franklin. Come on in.

Nikki.

Since you're my girl's best friend, I thought I'd let bygones be bygones.

I brought you these.

That is so sweet.

Thank you, Frank.

It's Franklin.

You don't ever have to worry about finding another ticket on your

ever again.

You're good people, Franklin.

Because from now on, I'm just going to bring them to you personally.

Oh,

no, you didn't. Hey, I still got to do my job.