Original subtitles

Oh, I can't wait to see Aaron tonight.

I miss my boo.

Kim, he just left a minute ago. I know, but every minute without him seems like

60 seconds.

Oh, I wish I had a man like that.

I didn't think you'd settle for a one -minute man.

And again, one minute's better than nothing.

So anyway, Aaron has a romantic weekend planned for us.

Well, I hope your plans include your cousin Tiffany.

I don't think Aaron's into that.

one who invited your cousin to spend some time with you. But that was before

Aaron told me about his plan.

Oh, well, tell Aaron there's a new plan.

Come on, Mama. You love Tiffany. Help me out.

Nope. She's coming to see you.

Sorry. I'm about to be busy.

I got a date. Don't even try.

It could happen.

Hi, Bo.

Looking for me?

No, I was looking for my nephew.

Oh, our nephew was visiting?

My nephew is visiting.

My sister sent him out here for a week.

He has a behavioral problem.

Behavioral problem?

Little badass, huh?

A good whoopin' will fix that.

Justin, where have you been?

A man don't need to report his every move.

A man in a boy's body does.

Hey, everyone, this is my nephew, Justin.

Hi, baby.

I'm your Aunt Nikki.

You're cute.

I know this.

Anyway, that's some serious bling bling you're rocking.

That's just how I roll, son.

Oh, that's right.

So, Justin, how old are you?

Old enough. So what's up? You got a man?

Justin, are you ready to go see Monsters, Inc.? You go see Monsters,

I'll go see Monsters, Bob.

I hear Holly Berry gets buck wild.

Don't you think you're a little too young to see that movie?

Whatever.

You just say whatever to me.

Professor, give me your bow.

Oh, yeah, I'm not falling for that again.

What does chair will do?

Whatever.

No, you may get away with that kind of talk in your mama's house, but now

in Nikki's world, and you will not be rude or disrespectful to me or my man.

See, I was with you up until the my man part.

I don't know how you do it. Oh, I'd love to show you.

Good night, Miss Parker.

Hey, y 'all. Hey.

Where's Stephanie?

She's unpacking. Oh, so, Stevie, what are you and Stephanie doing tonight?

I don't know. We'll find something.

Oh, well, and Della and I are going to the Rump Shaker.

Can you take Tiffany?

Sorry, Stevie. Grown folks only.

I'm off lockdown from my mom.

How is Connie?

Oh, she's a thing.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

Well, I gotta go. Those front tables at the Rum Shaker fill up fast.

Good seeing you, baby.

When you guys try to have fun, I know I will.

So,

what

you want to do?

My credit cards are all maxed out.

Okay.

Want to go to Universal CityWalk?

Boring. Okay.

Listen, Stevie, you don't even have to do this. I can entertain myself.

I'll just eat Cheetos and watch Sex and the City.

You do that, too?

That's what I do every single weekend.

You know, when I'm not on a date.

I love Sex and the City, and Samantha is my idol. Mine, too. She is so free.

More like freaky.

What wife?

Uh, me.

Where did you get a ridiculous notion that I was married to Miss Parker?

From her.

She told me when you went to get popcorn.

Yeah, well, she's not well.

It's all in her head.

Then you two aren't a couple? Oh, hell no.

It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I... I can't stand her.

So she's not committed?

Oh, no.

But it's just a matter of time.

Oh, hey, Kim. Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you and Aaron had

date. Yeah, we did, but his grandmother got sick.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Um, is Tiffany here?

Yeah, I'll get her.

Hey, Stevie.

Hey. Ready for the getty? Absolutely.

What about me?

What about you? I want to go.

It's a museum, Kim.

Oh? They must have a kids' section.

Hey, Jonathan.

Hey, Nikki.

Got milk?

If you're willing to share those cookies.

Deal.

Nikki, I need some advice about women.

Ooh, baby, you came to the right place.

Now, what should I do to get a girl to like me?

Well, let her know how you feel.

Women love honesty.

But suppose she doesn't like me back.

Uh -uh, you don't let that stop you. You just keep at it until you wear it down.

I mean...

Winner over. Winner over.

Now, what do you look for in a man?

Well, first I look for a well -dressed man, like your uncle.

Intelligent, like your uncle.

A tattoo on his butt, like your... You get your idea.

Oh, okay.

Thanks, son, Nicky.

That was a big help.

Hey, hey, hey, hold up. Now, advice ain't free, Blair.

Come on, Nikki. The Frankie Beverly and Maeve concert starts in 20 minutes.

I'll be right there.

I'm putting my face on.

We don't have that kind of time.

Damn, Mandel. Now, just because you don't care what you look like doesn't

you have to rush me.

tickets, and I'm not going to miss a second of Frankie waiting for you.

What's this?

Don't open it. It might be an eviction notice.

It smells like Old Spice.

The professor wears Old Spice. Give me that.

Oh, my God. What is it?

Who wants me?

Parker, there's something heavy on my heart. I must see you as soon as

Signed, your boo.

Damn, all that stalking must have finally paid off.

No longer in denial.

I loaded you.

with you.

Oh, so you wrote that love note to me. It was the bomb, huh?

Baby, I'm glad.

I guess I had that effect on all the Ogilvy men.

But the only man I'll ever love is the buffet.

Well, he says he didn't even like you.

I told you.

I'm the professor's lady.

No, you're not.

Now, look, Justin.

You're a nice young man.

But I'm a grown woman, baby.

You need to find a girl your own age.

But they don't have enough body. All right, all right, all right.

It's time for you to go to bed.

Go on, get.

That boy is out of his mind.

But it got good taste.

out on the couch and discuss it.

Miss Parker, this is serious.

You're right.

Let's take her to the bedroom.

Hey, girls. How was the museum?

Oh, it was great. The Picasso exhibit was amazing.

So was the kids' section. We made turkeys by tracing our hands.

So, you want to go get some sushi?

Sure. Okay, great. I know this really good place in Beverly Hills.

Oh, Kim.

You want to come?

Oh, no, no. You guys go on ahead.

I don't want to impose.

Besides, I don't want sushi. I'm in the mood for fish.

Bye. See ya.

Did you see how both of you were acting all close and everything?

Well, isn't that what you wanted? No, I just wanted them to kick it.

They can be together. I got a man.

Look, baby.

Men will come and go.

But Tiffany will never stop being your cousin.

And Stevie will always be your friend.

You know you're right.

They can act like best friends. It's no big deal.

I hope they choke on a sushi bone.

And after ignoring me in the museum all day, they went out and had dinner

without me. Can you believe that?

What I can't believe is that you were at a museum.

Am I wrong?

Tell me.

Hold up. While you're yapping to me, where's Erin?

With her sick grandmother.

And where's Nikki? She sent me to you.

Well, my new honey is waiting for me over there, so see you.

What's up, baby? Sorry I'm late. Had to help out a friend.

It's all good.

Hey, I'm not finished telling you about my little problem.

We talked about this for like four hours. What's left to say?

I know, but we need to talk some more in case I left something out.

One second, all right?

Look,

you're messing up my game.

We can talk about this later.

All right, fine. Be that way. All right.

Where were we?

Okay, it's like...

Look what you did.

Forget about her. What should I do?

Talk to Stevie.

I have to go and do what you just did.

Hey, Kim.

Stevie.

What's wrong with you?

I don't know. Why don't you ask your best friend, Tiffany?

Why would I do that?

Because you do everything else with her.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means I haven't had a chance to kick it with my cousin since she's been here.

Well, Kim, you're the one who pondered off on me so you could spend more time

with Aaron.

Well, Aaron's gone for the weekend.

Oh, so that's what this is all about. You're bored.

And you're a cousin stealer.

Hey, I can't help it if she likes me better than you.

Oh, no, you didn't. Oh, yes, I did.

You know what, Stevie?

Forget you. You know what, Kim? Forget you, too.

Justin,

you should eat something.

You stop telling me what to do.

Boy?

I am warning you, you are two minutes away from getting a timeout.

Uncle Stanley, men don't get timeouts.

Oh, so you think you're a man?

Now you're getting it, Stanley.

All right, fine, fine, cool.

So, why don't you be a man and find some other place to stay?

Cool.

need you.

I just go upstairs and kick it with my walk.

Oh, fine.

Hey, go see Miss Parker.

I will.

Peace out, homie.

Hey, little Romeo is on his way up.

Nikki, baby.

I was hoping I could crash here for a while.

Of course. Come on in.

What happened to your teeth?

Oops, I forgot to put them in.

Talk about that later. You hungry, baby?

Yeah. Good. So are we. Go fix some dinner.

Sorry, something else came up. What's his name?

Jonathan.

The security guard from the Getty? I knew you'd understand.

What about the movie?

Oh, so go with Kim. She's not doing anything.

See ya.

Can you believe her?

Yeah, she does it all the time.

I could have told you that if we were speaking.

Kim, this is so ridiculous. Why are we tripping?

See, I know.

I dumped Tiffany on you.

Yeah, and I'm sorry I dumped you for Tiffany.

And I'm sorry I called you a cow and a toothpaste.

Wait, when did you call me that?

Oh, never mind.

So, we're back to being best friends?

We never stopped.

So,

you want to go to Chuck E. Cheese?

For real?

Yeah, I still have a few tokens left over from your birthday party.

Stevie, you think Chuck E.'s going to be there tonight?

Pretty good chance, yeah.