Original subtitles

Honky is your chicken.

Honky is your goose. So come on, all you coarse ass, and shake your caboose.

Shake your caboose.

What did you think?

Where did you get that cheer from?

The Underground Railroad?

If you don't watch it, you're going to need Harriet Tubman.

How was your evening breakfast?

Awful. Heather had to drop off the squad.

Oh, good. That girl was so dizzy, she forget how to spell SMC.

No, Mama, that was me.

Well, it can be confusing.

So, uh, what happened?

She got pregnant.

If we don't find somebody to take her place on the team, we can forget about

competing in the regionals. Oh, well, you still got time to find a

I guess.

But what kind of dummy gets pregnant so young and then drops out of school?

The kind of dummy that gives up her hopes, her dreams, her figure, and

from 72 hours of labor for you.

Yeah, that's right, Mama. Do that cheer again. It was so cute.

How lucky is your chicken?

Girl.

my keyboard and voila my system was up and running oh it was nothing oh and uh

thanks for fixing my computer too not now t can't you see

i'm busy yeah we're supposed to talk about my research paper uh well i'll

reschedule when can you say f all right i'll tell you tomorrow like you're gonna

get some of that students can't live with them can't get paid without them

Back to us. Now, how can I thank you for all your hard work?

Professor, all I did was turn on your monitor.

Oh, you turned on much, much, much more than that.

Are you flirting with me? Well, um, yes.

Is it working?

I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend.

Well, we don't have to tell him.

You are so funny.

Funny, but out of luck, huh?

Actually, you're not. I think I have somebody who's perfect for you.

Well, does she look like you?

As a matter of fact, she does.

Well, I'm free Saturday.

Hey, it's me.

What are you doing Saturday?

Good. I have somebody you have to meet. You're going to love my mom.

He's a professor at SMC.

No, he's not old, old.

He's middle -aged like you.

Vanessa, I forgot.

Saturday is my holy day. Gotta go. Bye.

Somebody had to root for the Pilgrims.

Don't do this to me.

Well, see, baby, this is not about you. It's about me.

I had to quit the squad when I was pregnant with you, so this is kind of

second chance, and I don't want to let it go.

Well, we've all enjoyed a little stroll down memory lane.

But we're preparing for the regionals.

That's right, and you've got to be able to do more than clap your hands and

stomp your...

running shoes good because you're gonna need them i gotta get fabric for my new

cheerleading outfit new sneakers and a new pair of pom -poms now i have a rule

nothing kinky till the second date like you have second dates i'm trying out for

the smc cheerleading squad now why do you want to be a cheerleader at your age

Too happy.

Professor!

You look so... Young.

Young?

Try ill.

Are you having a heart attack?

Me? Who just climbed the Santa Monica stairs a hundred times, followed by 90

minutes of weight training and a 10K run home.

I got the heart of a 20 -year -old.

to buy some of that Lady Egyptian wrinkle cream that you sell.

Yeah, yeah, from my mother.

Yo, Mama, you can use some yourself.

Hush, Andal.

More wrinkles mean more experience.

And I'm like a man who knows how to get the job done.

Now, Professor, this miracle cream smooths away wrinkles, shines your

can be used as a dessert topping.

You're kidding, right? All right, you got me.

It's not so good on wrinkles.

I don't know what gets into some people. They just can't act their age. Oh,

well, can we talk about this while we shop for my pom -poms?

Hey, baby. Hey, Mama.

What's up with Professor Ogilvie? I just asked him how he was doing, and he said

he was too legit to quit.

What does that mean?

Oh, now he's quoting M .C. Hammer?

I hope he don't start wearing them genie pants.

Look, Puttin', me and that dog gonna go down to the swap meet so we can shop for

my cheerleading outfit.

Mama, why do your dreams always turn into my nightmares?

Just means I'm doing my job, baby.

Come on, girl.

Bye, Poop. Bye.

You want to be in a movie? I can make you a star.

I've got to get an A on my broadcast journalism class. Not with that big old

shiny forehead of yours.

That was some footage worth shooting.

Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's the dealio?

Yo.

Professor, is that you? Yeah.

What do you think?

I think I better go.

All right, all right. But, Paige, brother, you know, hit me on my hip.

Which one? Will Smith? Denzel? No, Cisco.

You look good enough to be on BET's Walk of Fame.

Why are you wearing the cheerleading uniform?

Because I'm trying out for the squad.

Uncle B, Uncle B, he's my man. If I can't have him, no one can.

Well, I have a little cheer for you.

When I say X, you say it.

X, X, X, X.

X? Don't mind if I do.

Nikki, let's do this story.

Nikki, you've just finished your audition. Can you tell everyone how you

it went?

I pushed him back, pushed him back, way back, way back. Yay, Nikki!

Stevie, could you turn off the camera? Me and Mama, we need to talk.

Oh, what's wrong, baby?

Mama, you didn't make the team.

Regina and Asia picked somebody else.

What? But I was the best thing out there.

Right, you were the best.

But it's not about what you did.

It's about the way you look.

Uh -uh. Then this ain't right. And they are not going to get away with it.

That's right. I'm not going to let them do this to us.

Us? I quit the team.

Mama, they cheated you.

Man, forget those go team go hoochies.

Oh, thanks, baby.

Now all we need to do is find a team of our own. Yeah.

You know what?

Maybe we can get in touch with the other girls they rejected.

That's a great idea.

Bring it on!

Hey!

This

is

Stevie Van Lowe with a special report.

Cheerleader Wars, day one.

I'm here with Nikki and Kim Parker, who have just convinced the dean to allow

them to create an alternate cheerleading squad.

That's right. And we're challenging the SMC cheerleaders to a cheer -off next

week to see who should represent SMC in the regional competition.

What prompted you ladies to take such a drastic step? Gee, I'm over here.

Yeah, but the honey's over there.

not good enough, then maybe it's time we had a cheerleading team that's about

school spirit.

Yeah, it's not about who's most likely to be in a trick daddy video.

So this is a crusade to elevate cheerleading in SMC from a tawdry

bare female flesh.

Yeah, whatever.

Plus, I want to kick their little Barbie doll butt.

Excuse us, we have to do some recruiting right now.

And that's a wrap.

Not for me.

You all want to be in my movie?

Ladies, welcome to the first practice of SMC's alternative cheerleading

team. Is this going to take long?

Like you've got some place to go.

That cheerleading is not about what you look like on the outside, but what

you've got in your heart.

I got a place for those bimbos that rejected me.

Right under my wheels.

I don't want to be a cheerleader, but maybe I should just stick to

Yeah. I got this really big project I'm working on, and I haven't quite figured

out what I'm going to do, so... I'm going to go.

Not so fast, Einstein.

can't back out now. We got something to prove.

Lacey's right.

Now, you can't give up before you even start.

Yeah, don't be such a loser.

Shut your trap, you Busta Rhymes reject.

What did you just call me, you fugitive from a demolition derby? All right,

that's it. I'm about to burn rubber on your butt. Oh, come on.

I'm going to keep it simple.

Elevator, elevator, give him the show.

Keeping it real.

Not with them fake platinum chains.

Professor Ogilvy, is that you?

Vanessa, what's up, baby?

You look so... Young?

No, that's not it.

Maybe it's your hat or those clothes or those chains you're wearing. Yeah, fly,

huh?

You see, you only see me at school, but, you know, off the clock, this is how I

roll.

little sisters on the cheerleading squad. No diggity?

Vanessa, there you are. I've been looking for you. Oh, and I've been

you.

Heaven must be missing an angel.

Excuse me, do I know you? This is the professor that I told you about,

Ogilvie. This is Lorraine Jackson, my mother.

Your mother?

Your middle -aged mother?

You're a professor.

Yeah.

I don't always dress like this. Yeah, just when he's off the clock.

Look, I'm sorry we didn't have a chance to hook up. I mean, I'm sorry I didn't

get together with you Saturday, but I'm free tonight.

In fact, I'm free right now.

I'm really flattered, but you're a little too young for me.

I think it's starting.

something on cheerleading, huh?

Yeah. Okay, T, let's get ready. You know I used to be a cheerleader, right?

And, uh, you're in my shot.

Oh, really?

Um, and don't you, uh, please step aside. I'm kind of trying to do a story

Fine, be that way then. I was just trying to give your audience a little

kick.

And now the judges are taking their seats.

The competition is about to begin. First up, the mighty SMC Corsair!

look like she stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine.

Am I right, Mama?

No. Get oxygen.

Girl,

I told you it was too old for this.

Nikki, I'm sorry. We should have never excluded you from the team.

Yeah, you guys were great.

Any chance we could all work together?

you think it went.