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1
00:00:04,509 --> 00:00:07,290
Okay, people, the charity auction for
the homeless is in one week.
2
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Miss Parker, can I have the treasurer's
report, please?
3
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,770
Well, it looks like we're going to break
last year's record of $10 ,000.
4
00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:17,410
That is if we sell more tickets than we
sold last year.
5
00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:21,190
Tia, what's happening with
entertainment?
6
00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:22,830
Oh, it's going to be the bomb.
7
00:00:23,070 --> 00:00:27,450
We got Master P, Q -Tip, Lauryn Hill,
Lil' Kim. You got all of them? Got their
8
00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:28,450
CDs.
9
00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:32,310
Kim, what's happening with the
bachelorette auction?
10
00:00:32,729 --> 00:00:37,330
Oh, we have 30 eligible bachelorettes
and two unhappily married women ready to
11
00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,810
give their all for SMC.
12
00:00:39,550 --> 00:00:42,110
And one prepared to give her all for
you, Professor.
13
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:46,430
Not that all, Mama. We're just going to
cook for the men who buy in.
14
00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:47,650
Listen to yourself.
15
00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:51,370
Why stop at selling dinners? Why not go
all the way and sell our bodies?
16
00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:53,730
Damn, this is going to be the biggest
auction ever.
17
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:46,979
That much, huh?
18
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:49,100
And how much would that be?
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00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:50,840
$10 ,000.
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00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:52,158
Don't you remember?
21
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,480
Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
22
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:58,000
You think it's wise to have that much
money lying around?
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00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,540
It's not going to be lying around. It'll
be in the office safe. Oh, that's
24
00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,540
right, right, right.
25
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,820
And I have the cue.
26
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:25,920
charity auction.
27
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,960
I've just been informed that we have
broken last year's record of $10 ,000.
28
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:36,480
Now, uh, speaking on behalf of the
homeless, tell me this. What kind of
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00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,140
you gonna get in Santa Monica for $10
,000?
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00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,020
Now, remember, T, when they call my
name, you bid on me.
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00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,380
I see you on our date level.
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00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,260
Kim, aren't you forgetting something?
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00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,500
Oh, here's $85.
34
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,900
Why don't I give you an even hundred?
I'm worth it.
35
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:02,960
Our next bachelorette is Amira. She is a
freshman who enjoyed... Hundred
36
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960
dollars.
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00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:09,220
Sold to the anxious young brother with
the drool all over his jeans.
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00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,320
Hold up, that's my hundred dollars. Come
on, Kim, it's for charity.
39
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,620
Now our next honey is the lovely Miss
Kim Parker.
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00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,980
include shopping, thinking about
shopping, and eating while shopping.
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00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:32,600
Do I hit 20?
42
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,720
We have 20. Do I hit 30?
43
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,400
$500?
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00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:42,060
$500? Sold. But you could have had me
for a whole week for that kind of money.
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00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:43,960
Who was that?
46
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,480
I don't know, but I think it's that
cutie back there.
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00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:49,780
Hi.
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00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:53,160
Excuse me, Damien, but I'm looking for
the cutie who just bid on me.
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00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,480
That would be me.
50
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,900
You? Yeah, I think we're going to be
really good friends.
51
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:06,100
And next we have one of my favorites,
Nikki
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00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:12,720
Parker. She is him, she is now, and she
is young. The price is...
53
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:46,430
bid five pounds of crushed aluminum cans
for a small lady with a big smile and
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00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:49,090
an even bigger heart, Stevie Van Lowe.
55
00:04:52,070 --> 00:04:55,650
Come on up here, girl. You know,
56
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:06,050
I can't put my finger on an end down,
but there's something definitely
57
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,029
about the professor.
58
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,710
Girl, I think he genuinely likes...
59
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,470
Proves love can conquer all.
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00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,770
No.
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00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:16,070
That proves that with enough stalking,
you can wear any man down.
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00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:20,590
I got a problem.
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00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:24,750
I just got off the phone with Damien. I
don't feel like making dinner for him.
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00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,310
Kim, when have you ever felt like making
dinner for anybody?
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00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:31,430
Look, you made a commitment, and you're
going to stick to it.
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00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,570
Besides, that boy paid good money for
you.
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00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,250
$500. Whole dollar.
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00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,400
Tonight's my date with Thomas.
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00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:50,220
So? At least he's easy to cook for. All
you gotta do is open up a can of beans
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00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,220
and give him a spoon.
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00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,500
You're so insensitive.
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00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,260
All right, so what are we gonna do?
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00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,140
I don't know about you, but I'm gonna
make sure that Damien never ever wants
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00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:00,140
see me again.
75
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,220
I feel you.
76
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,760
Hey!
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00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,040
Yo,
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00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:08,920
man, how'd you find me?
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00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,500
All right, all right.
80
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:12,080
I'll have your money for you tomorrow.
81
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,100
Nah, man, you got my word on it. Look, I
ran into something that's about to pay
82
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,440
off big time. You hear me?
83
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,920
Yeah. All right, peace.
84
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,780
Hello? Hey, Sly, it's me.
85
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:32,400
Me who? Stan, your other half.
86
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,660
My bad, half Cancun.
87
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,060
Beautiful, sun, beaches.
88
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,240
Veronica.
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00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,340
What more could a man ask for? Hey,
listen.
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00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,060
Thanks for saving me at the last minute.
Veronica would have left me if I didn't
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00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:47,060
make this trip.
92
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,980
Yeah, man, that's what brothers are for.
93
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,960
So, um, how's things on your end?
94
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,199
Oh, great.
95
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,200
Better than expected.
96
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,380
Oh, you got a job?
97
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,760
No, your fundraiser was a complete
success.
98
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,240
Oh, fantastic.
99
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,640
I hope Miss Parker wasn't too much of a
pest.
100
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,820
Oh, no, man, no, because, uh, you really
like her now.
101
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:08,540
Say what?
102
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,500
Oh, Jet Ski, they're ready.
103
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,880
Oh, I'll be right there, Snookum.
104
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,400
Listen, you stay away from Miss Parker,
okay?
105
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,820
Sorry, big bro.
106
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:27,940
I won't be able to do that.
107
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,500
Hook's in the front.
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00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,620
My bad. I'm sorry.
109
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,820
You know, I can hardly believe it's you.
110
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,900
Of course it's me. You know.
111
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:06,880
Stan, your man.
112
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,020
Now, was that me or the wind?
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00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:14,260
You know it was you.
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00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,840
Come on, baby. Let's go inside.
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00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:34,440
freshen our drinks and why don't you
slip into something a little more
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00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:13,650
You got to put those in water?
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00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:14,870
Oh, yeah.
118
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:19,510
Should I come in?
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00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,110
I wouldn't, but suit yourself.
120
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:27,850
I can't tell you how excited I am to be
having a date with you.
121
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:34,930
I've seen you around campus, right? And
I always wanted to go out with you.
122
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:39,690
You have so much energy and so much life
and so much...
123
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:18,150
in the kitchen. Something's burning.
124
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:20,050
Oh, that's your dinner.
125
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,870
Yeah, it'll be ready in about ten
minutes.
126
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:30,930
Well, it's not gonna answer itself.
127
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,390
You must be Damien. I'm Stevie. This is
Thomas.
128
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,670
Whew, I smell something burning. That's
dinner.
129
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,060
Smells delicious.
130
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,900
What's his problem? I don't know.
131
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,860
I can't scare him off. I drop like a
bum, he loves it. I pick him up on the
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00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:57,920
he's doing handstands.
133
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,080
Well, this here tastes good.
134
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,560
Done just the way I like it.
135
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,760
Free.
136
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,320
Well, I guess I better get dinner ready.
137
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,660
So, Thomas, how's the date going?
138
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:14,920
Oh, no, let me clear this up. This is
not a date, no.
139
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:19,070
the transaction where one person pays
money for the companionship of another.
140
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,810
I thought elves were supposed to be
friendly.
141
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:51,770
I say we shake the spot and hit a club.
142
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,590
But you mean just leave?
143
00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:58,410
Yeah, man. Look, if you're willing to
pay $500 for Kim, you're going to love
144
00:11:58,410 --> 00:11:59,650
Trixie's Chickateria.
145
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,170
Is that the key to your heart?
146
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:22,930
It could be.
147
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:29,610
Why don't I just get some passion fruit
massage oil, and I'll be right back.
148
00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:32,390
Well, I'll be right here with some
passion.
149
00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:41,870
Hello.
150
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,250
This really isn't a good time.
151
00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:55,890
Break my legs.
152
00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:58,530
You know, it is a good time.
153
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:00,610
Hold on a minute.
154
00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,710
I'm ready to be oiled, Stanley.
155
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180
God, I'm hallucinating.
156
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,340
Come on, tiger.
157
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:27,940
Rub me down.
158
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:31,500
Miss Parker.
159
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,760
What the hell are you doing in my bed?
160
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,120
Would you prefer the floor?
161
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:36,920
Absolutely not.
162
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,220
Oh, I get it. We're playing a little
fantasy game.
163
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,940
That's why you changed your clothes.
164
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:44,860
You're the angry professor.
165
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,240
I'm the naughty little schoolgirl.
166
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,240
Do you want to spank me, professor?
167
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,640
Yes.
168
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:58,970
you to get dressed and get out of my
house. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need
169
00:13:58,970 --> 00:13:59,970
drink.
170
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,699
Don't you baby me.
171
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,840
And you changed your clothes again, you
psycho.
172
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,520
Wait, wait.
173
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,640
I'm sorry it took so long.
174
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,360
There's no reason to get all upset.
175
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,540
Now, I know what will calm you.
176
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:44,720
Some more Alizea.
177
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:51,720
So, I'll just run down to the store and
get another bottle.
178
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,240
And you just sit here and relax.
179
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,260
And I'll be right there.
180
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,160
That's it. Shh.
181
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:04,960
What do you think?
182
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,640
I'm so sorry.
183
00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:34,420
And you are... Hell, I don't care who
you are.
184
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,600
Stanley.
185
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,160
You've never kissed me like that before.
186
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:51,880
Maybe we should argue more often.
187
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,540
Shut up and kiss me. Oh, Stanley.
188
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,400
Make sure you pick up some con.
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00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,540
Dement.
190
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,660
What the hell is going on here?
191
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:06,180
So, you picked an argument with me so
you could get back here to this?
192
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,240
This? Oh, this is about to go upside
your head.
193
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,520
Ladies, ladies.
194
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,060
No need to fight.
195
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,480
You know, three doesn't have to be a
crowd.
196
00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,500
What is all the yelling about?
197
00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:21,740
No.
198
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,020
No. I mean, I am never touching
another...
199
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,570
I came here to apologize to you.
200
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,010
Or you.
201
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:39,150
Hold on to that apology. Look, I'm
sorry.
202
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:42,910
This poor imitation of me is my twin
brother, Sylvester.
203
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,110
Ew!
204
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,590
He kissed me!
205
00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:48,170
What? And he kissed me, too!
206
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:49,530
Ew!
207
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:54,250
Ladies, I didn't mean any harm.
208
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,400
I guess I overstayed my welcome.
209
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:09,220
I better be going.
210
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,440
I'm sorry, bro.
211
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,839
You certainly are.
212
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,260
Look, you can send me my stuff.
213
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,079
Nikki?
214
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,520
Yeah, right.
215
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,820
Stanley, what the hell were you
thinking?
216
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,400
Ladies, I'm sorry.
217
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,720
Look, baby, I just wanted to spend some
more time with you.
218
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,079
Oh, my God.
219
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080
My key.
220
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:39,780
My key.
221
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:54,480
So, Clickfly, where do you think you're
going?
222
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:57,300
God, look, Nikki, I can explain.
223
00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:58,540
What's to explain?
224
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,720
You stole the key so you could take the
money.
225
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,000
You used me.
226
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,380
Look, I got $10 ,000 here.
227
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,540
200 of it has your name on it.
228
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,180
I'm not a thief or a liar.
229
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,520
Or cheap.
230
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,560
All right.
231
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:17,220
All right, all right, you got me.
232
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,740
But let me tell you something.
233
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:23,240
At first, it was about the money, but
somewhere along the line, I... Look, I
234
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,200
started feeling something for you. Save
it.
235
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:26,599
Uh -uh.
236
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,460
Now, you fooled me once, but not again.
Come on, baby. All you have to do is
237
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:31,820
turn your head. Nobody has to know.
238
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,780
But I would know.
239
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,820
Why don't you do the right thing?
240
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:41,800
It's been real, Nikki.
241
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,280
Apparently not.
242
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:44,840
I'm out.
243
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:57,440
On second thought, maybe I'll just leave
the money and go out the back way.
244
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,080
Good thinking.
245
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,710
You really liked him, didn't you?
246
00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:29,470
Nah.
247
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,150
He wasn't my type.
248
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,970
Besides, he had a funny shape head.
249
00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:51,890
Oh, so deep.
250
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:54,490
How did your date go with my money?
251
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,840
A dummy for some computer geek that
dropped out of Santa Monica?
252
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,760
What kind of loser drops out of
community college?
253
00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:06,060
The kind that owns his own Internet
company, goes public, and makes $5
254
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,060
in one day.
255
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:08,180
$5 million?
256
00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:10,120
Yeah. There he is now.
257
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,860
Uncle! I'm Rachel!
258
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,220
Damien, you who's over here?
259
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,060
You know, the other night, I was just
playing.
260
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,220
It was a test, and you passed.
261
00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:26,160
You're right. I do pass.
262
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,800
Ready, baby?
263
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:33,620
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go
buy my new girlfriend a new Mercedes.
264
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,540
She picked out a green one.
265
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,460
It matches my eyes.
266
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,560
Mr. D, man, we got the roll. The
Mercedes dealership fit the clothes.
267
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,380
Oh, and Stevie.
268
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:49,300
Stevie.
269
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:57,220
Just so you know that there's no hard
feelings, I wanted to invite you to my
270
00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:02,420
housewarming. Mr. D bought this hobo a
condo.
271
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:10,220
I
272
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:18,940
started
273
00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:19,940
having feelings for you.
274
00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:29,090
I say we shake the spot.
275
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,290
What?
20136
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