Original subtitles

Morning, sleepyhead.

Morning, Mama.

Hey, party of two.

So, what's for breakfast, Miss P?

What are you doing here, High King?

Yeah, this isn't Moesha's house.

No, you're on vacation.

And guess what? So, you're eating privileges.

We just playing, can't we?

I'm not playing.

It's okay, eat up.

I got issues.

I'm out of here, man. I'll see y 'all at dinner.

Paris party next week. My mom has these awesome go -go boots she's letting me

borrow. Oh, good idea.

Mama, what do you have from the 60s that I can borrow?

I got some go -go diapers.

That's right. I keep on forgetting you're only kind of old.

I just have to make my own outfit.

Okay, ladies.

Your number is 24.

So, what will it be today?

Chardonnay, aloe vera, or lemonade?

Nice, respectable, decent young man.

How come you two aren't interested in him?

All of the above, Mama.

So, Nikki, who are you going with to the Austin Powers party?

Oh, I was thinking of taking a certain tall, handsome, well -educated, soon -to

-be -available... Hey, Professor Albuve!

No, Miss Parker, for the sixth time today, I will not escort you to the

Powers party.

That's not what I was going to ask you.

Oh.

May I escort you?

No, thanks, Miss Parker.

Oh, so I guess you're going with that tall, skinny, Amazon -looking woman.

Uh, no.

Veronica's out of the country on business.

Again?

See, if I were your woman and you were my man... No, Miss Parker.

That could never happen.

It would be totally inappropriate for me to have a relationship with one of my

students. Then I'll quit school.

Funny. I was thinking the same thing.

Goodbye, Miss Parker.

Looks like you don't have a date. Oh, I've got a date. A dress and a minister.

What about you, Kim? Got a date?

Well, I'm expecting a couple of offers. See this tee?

Yeah, and I can.

There's Mr. Lucky now.

Hey, what's up, y 'all? Hey, sweetie.

Kim, you rolling through the underground tonight?

Yeah. Cool, I need to ask you something.

Well, you can ask me now.

Nah, it's a me and you conversation.

Oh, that's cool, because I'm a me and you kind of girl.

I'll see you tonight.

See,

I told you.

I thought you liked Hakeem.

Please. That was high school. I'm in college now.

Number 24.

So, Stevie, who are you going with?

Who says I have to go with anyone?

I can go by myself and have a perfectly good time.

I do not need a man to validate me. So no one asked you out? Not a soul.

Here you go, ladies.

and creamy.

I had him throwing a few extra berries.

Well, what did you do? Take them out of mine? Because this is thin and nasty.

Never mind them, Kevin.

You just keep taking care of me.

No, no.

It's on the house.

Helping me out on my French exam?

Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.

Watch yourself, Frenchie.

Well, aren't you two all fair, Jack?

Ladies, so am I going to see you guys at the underground tonight? I got some new

rhymes I want to throw at you.

And they better be good, or we'll have a few things to throw at you.

Get up there.

Oh, hey, Kim.

So, um, you want to slide out with me to the Austin Powers party next week? Oh,

I'm sorry, Hakeem. I can't.

I'm already spoken for.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

I mean, that's cool, you know.

Shoot, I didn't want to go no way.

You know, I just thought you needed a date.

Yeah, I'm sorry. See y 'all later.

Poor Hakeem.

I don't see why you couldn't have just gone to the party with that boy.

I know, he's such a sweetheart.

Well, I have a date, y 'all heard, T.

Well, I just don't think that was very nice.

Oh, well, that's the way love goes.

We'll be right back.

Do you want to rock with me?

We'll be back in ten minutes, y 'all.

So, ladies, the usual?

Kevin, boy, just how many jobs do you have?

Only five.

I had to cut back and concentrate on school.

I'll get you some drinks.

I'm going to go with you because I want a drink -drink.

Then I'm going to need to see some ID, young lady.

We'll get you everywhere.

I'm going to go up at a grand fee so he can ask me to the Austin Powers 40. Good

luck, girl. Okay.

You were the bomb.

Oh, yeah, you like that?

Oh, man, I was a little stumped, so, you know. Well, it was workin' workin'.

Yeah, say, so where your girl at?

Over there with your boy.

Um, let me ask you something, Stevie. Sure.

I mean, explain women to me, okay?

If I don't want you, then you want me. And when I want you, you don't want me.

Yep. That sounds about right.

Just once, I want a woman to tell me exactly what's on her mind.

Okay.

I like you, and I want to go out with you.

So what you saying?

So, T, what did you want to ask me?

You know about the Austin Powers party next week, right? Yeah, I can't wait.

Let's go eat at G's.

I know it's last minute, so tell me if you can't do it. Oh, no, I can do it.

Just ask me. Well, I was wondering... Yeah?

Can you make me a Regina's outfit for the party? I want a surprise. And I hear

you're a great designer.

Look, ain't nothing but a sketch, you know? Nothing too fancy.

You down?

Oh, I'm pretty down, all right.

to Roscoe. Oh, how are you?

Oh, well, I only have a two -seater, so... Girl, where is Hakeem gonna sit?

Oh, uh, I'm riding with Stevie.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Well, uh, I've got other things to do. You guys have a good time.

All right.

Go on.

Mom,

we need to make a Roscoe swim.

Mama's got to make a home run.

I'm tired.

Well, give me the keys to the car.

How am I supposed to get home?

Vicki, I'd be happy to give you a ride.

I don't want to put you out, Kevin.

I can talk to you for hours.

Which you have.

Not that I haven't enjoyed it, but I have got to get to bed.

Yeah, me too.

I just started another job this weekend.

Are you happy with your long distance, Carrie?

I'm fine, Kevin.

Thanks for dropping me off. Good night.

Good night.

Nikki. Yeah.

Nikki, would you like to go with me to the Austin Powers party?

With you?

Yeah.

As in a date?

Uh -huh.

Think about it.

But... Zip.

Kevin... Zip it.

Think about it.

He looked me dead in the eye and asked me if I wanted to be his date for this

party we're having. So what's the problem? Is he ugly? No, girl. He's nice

looking. Well, does he have a job?

Five of them.

Well, is he?

No. He asked me out.

Well, then are you? And out.

He's 21.

Good. Then he's legal.

What am I going to do with a 21 -year -old? Whatever it is, you can do it all

night long.

Girl, that boy is young enough to be my son.

He's also old enough to be your man.

Look, Nikki, let's keep it real. When's the last time you went out with anybody?

Whether they were 21, 31, 41.

You stop me when I get to a number you've been out with.

I'm saying nothing about that.

Make believe Professor Ovaltine. Are you finished?

No.

Nikki, you should go for a shoot. If you don't, I will. There's nothing like a

fine young waiter to fill your order. Just finish.

Grown folks business.

I must be talking about Kevin.

What do you know about Kevin?

I know he likes you.

How do you know that?

No one else gets extra berries.

Uh,

Kim, how do you feel about your mama dating a 21 -year -old? Oh, I think it's

great. Mama stick with those older men, because the 18 -year -olds I'm dealing

with are trifling.

She didn't ask you to the party, huh?

I don't even know who you're talking about.

is your new Mr. Lucky. Oh, he will be, even if my so -called friend Stevie's

trying to push up on my man.

Your man? Does Hakeem know about this?

Well, it's never been official.

Oh, I get it. See, you don't want him, but you don't want anybody else to have

him. Kim, you're not right.

If wanting Kimmy is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Where does she get that from?

Hell, like you don't know.

Professor, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Well, that depends.

How do you think about dating older women?

Well, I try not to.

So you wouldn't advise me to pursue an older woman?

Well, that depends on the woman.

Nicky Park.

Go for it.

I don't think she's feeling. Oh, it doesn't matter what she's feeling.

You come with your feelings, huh?

You think so? I know so.

And no means nothing to her. Neither does leave me alone, don't touch me, I

don't want you, I have a girlfriend. Get off my property.

Hey, Professor Ogilvie.

Hey, Miss Parker.

Uh, you mind if I steal Kevin from you? Oh, no, no, no. You, you, you take him.

He's all yours.

Kevin, we need to talk.

You thought about what I said?

Yeah, I thought about it. And this is no reflection on you because you're a fine

young man.

But there's just too many problems.

Like our age difference.

I don't care that you're 40.

I am not 40.

45?

Look,

Kevin, I can't go to the party with you.

It's just not going to work.

Who?

If that's the way you feel.

That's the way I feel.

Look, um, I've got some orders to get out.

See you around?

Hey!

I said, hey!

Hi, Kim.

Yeah, man, we didn't even see you.

I thought y 'all was going to Roscoe's.

We changed our minds.

Yeah, something else came up.

Oh, well, I'm out.

So, you still on for the movie tonight?

Absolutely.

Kimi, great.

Kimi? Oh, no, Stevie, let me get straight to it. Um, what's up with you

Hakeem? We have a good time together.

What's this all about?

It's about you having a good time with my man.

Your man?

What happened to you didn't want him, you were past him, he was high school?

Oh, I changed my mind.

Well, okay.

I didn't realize. I'm sorry, I would never do that to a friend, so I will

back off and let you have him.

Let me have him. If I want him, I'll take him. You'll take him? Did I

No, I don't think so. You see, he asked me to the Austin Powers party.

Oh, he may take you, but he's leaving with me.

Oh, and for the record, we're no longer friends.

Know this.

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

No, it's a gun.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Butter. Butter who?

You better give me my man back.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

I quit two jobs to be here with you.

Oh, I see you got your outfit.

Where did you get it? Rack my hands.

My baby girl had to look up.

Actually, my cousin was a wardrobe assistant on both Austin Power movies.

Actually, I don't care.

May I cut in?

No, you ain't on. Thanks.

I thought Amazon woman was supposed to be in Beirut or somewhere.

Yeah, well, her return was a pleasant surprise.

For the people of Beirut.

Did you notice Veronica and I dress alike?

We're both Felicity Shadwell.

Same as you, Felicity Shadwell.

You are?

Oh,

that's my song.

But this is my man.

Come on, Stanley, let's dance.

Excuse me, but you look shagginess.

Matt, is that... Kevin.

Come on, I'm two days older.

Hey, Kimmy, why don't we go someplace where we can talk?

Okay. Uh, Kimmy, why don't we go someplace where we can do more than

Okay.

Well, we can just do that right here.

Huh?

I was like that, huh?

Come here.

Damn. Is it my birthday?

Okay, I like it. I like it. Let's go. Tactic boat. Let's go.

Uh -huh. You can't go with the both of us. We're not. You need to choose.

Well, why do I have to choose?

Because.

Oh, see, hold up. See, I'm not down for all this drama, okay? Y 'all got issues.

This has nothing to do with me.

Oh, no, he didn't turn his back on us.

I know. Who does he think he is?

He's the one who's got issues.

I'm talking about we got issues.

Yeah, and he ain't all that.

No.

Then why are we acting like a couple of chicken heads?

I guess we got caught up in the madness.

I'm sorry. Stevie.

You should have stayed out of it.

I guess I was feeling a little rejected.

I'm sorry too, Kim.

I should never have gone out with Hakeem. You should never go out with a

who's involved with your best friend.

Even if it's only in her head.

Because men will come and go.

But girlfriends...

He's the finest guy you've ever seen. He's the finest guy I've ever seen. Are

you ready, set, go!

had fun tonight, right? I told you, I had a great time.

Well, do you think maybe we can do this again?

Look, we've been through this.

Is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Kevin.

Do you still feel the same way?

Yep.

me in Regina's outfit for the party? I want a surprise. And I hear you're a

great designer.

Look, I don't have no paper in my back pocket.

I mean, just once. Just once. I want some woman to explain.

I don't think so.