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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,140
Oh, Marisa Berenson, 35 seconds to
curtain, Miss Berenson. Thank you.
2
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,900
Oh, Scooter, who does all this luggage
belong to?
3
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,400
Oh, didn't you know? It's a gift to you
from the show.
4
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,200
Now, wait a minute.
5
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:18,060
This isn't some kind of weird Muppet
luggage that's going to blow up or turn
6
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,360
into cheese like everything else on this
strange show.
7
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:23,720
No, no, no. It's just regular alligator
luggage.
8
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:24,980
Oh, good.
9
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:38,210
The Muppet Show with our very special
guest star, Marisa Berenson.
10
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,820
It's time to put on makeup.
11
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,780
It's time to dress up right.
12
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,020
It's time to get things started.
13
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,280
Why don't you get things started?
14
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,820
Why don't we leave? Where would we go?
15
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,280
It's time to get things started. I'm the
most inspirational, inspirational,
16
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,460
celebrational, motivational.
17
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This is what we call.
18
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where tonight's special guest star is
the beautiful international film star
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Marisa Berenson. But first, on our show
we've done traditional dances from many
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countries, but never Russia.
21
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,260
Well, tonight their luck has run out.
22
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Thank you.
23
00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:35,010
Russian pig dance.
24
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:36,230
Oh, boy.
25
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If you like that act, you're going to
love mine.
26
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,330
Who are you?
27
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:44,750
New Zealand and his boomerang fish act.
28
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:46,150
Woo!
29
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:51,790
New Zealand and his boomerang fish act?
Oh, yeah. Hey, it's razzle -dazzle.
30
00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:55,570
I'm sorry, but I'm not booking any
highbrow acts just now.
31
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Well, think about it, okay?
32
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,670
Come on, Seymour. You need a bath.
33
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to me, can you? Well, I can, but it
hurts a lot.
34
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,880
Is that the sketch there?
35
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,240
Yes, it is, yes.
36
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,560
Well, tell me about it.
37
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,299
It's a secret.
38
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,520
What? I'll tell you the title.
39
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,940
Okay, what is the title of the closing
sketch?
40
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The Wedding.
41
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,120
It's kind of busy just now.
42
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Ladies and gentlemen, our very special
guest star, the lovely and talented
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Marisa Berry!
44
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I'm sorry.
45
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:52,390
Did you like that number?
46
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,710
Pick up! My hearing aid's busted!
47
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,770
Did you like that number?
48
00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:58,410
I liked what I heard!
49
00:07:58,630 --> 00:07:59,750
What did you hear?
50
00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:06,170
Did you like that number? I tell you,
it's terrific!
51
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:13,550
Yeah, you see, I throw the fish into the
air, they sail away, and then
52
00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:14,970
they come back to me!
53
00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:20,040
Yeah, well, I... I don't care about
boomerang fish acts. Oh, you will.
54
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They're coming back.
55
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:28,480
Oh, Miss Piggy. Oh, um, yes. Hello,
Kermie. Piggy, come back here.
56
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,440
Oh, Kermie, how aggressive and manly you
sound.
57
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,980
Never mind the sweet talk. I just want
to know more about this wedding sketch.
58
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,580
I mean, I've got to learn my lines.
59
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:41,080
Well, you only have one line.
60
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:42,440
I do?
61
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:43,679
Exactly.
62
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,080
I mean. Besides, the thing you forget is
that I don't.
63
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,020
Well, Kermie, it's just a simple comedy
sketch.
64
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,500
Oh, yeah, well, I know that.
65
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,040
A comedy sketch, Kermie.
66
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,360
It's not as if you were a real minister.
67
00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:06,160
Now you are a real minister, right?
68
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:17,530
you to the wild world of Muppet Sports.
69
00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:21,850
Today finds us at the National Wig
Racing Championship.
70
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Wig racing?
71
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:31,790
Well, luckily, I have one of the
trainers here who may be able to
72
00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:33,430
Uh, yes, sir.
73
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:40,370
Today is my first time out wig racing,
sir, or do you call this a derby? Uh,
74
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sir. This is a wig.
75
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This is a derby.
76
00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,930
Well, I call this wig Greased Lightning.
77
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,150
Because it's speedy? No, because it's
greasy.
78
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,290
Don't you use a shampoo?
79
00:09:56,850 --> 00:10:02,190
No, sir, I do not use shampoo for my
wigs. Only use real poo.
80
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,070
Nothing but the best poo for my wigs.
81
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:51,620
Yes,
82
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:56,620
well, it's a traditional wedding, you
see. Something old, something new,
83
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,180
something borrowed, and something green.
84
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,420
Sounds like a real wedding to me, rather
than a sketch.
85
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:07,220
Oh, well, it's, um...
86
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Tighter? Tighter?
87
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,680
Tighter? I gotta go down three sizes.
88
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,400
I'm going to an awful lot of trouble.
89
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,040
How long does this sketch last?
90
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,080
Till death do us part.
91
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,140
All right, now listen, kid.
92
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Just on the count of three, pull. Ready?
93
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,420
One, two.
94
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:45,800
Marisa, you're wanted on stage in a
minute.
95
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,260
Then how do you know what I'm saying?
96
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:02,580
I don't. Oh.
97
00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:11,320
Doe, a deer, a female deer.
98
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:14,340
Ray, a drop of golden sun.
99
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,580
See, a name I call myself.
100
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,620
Blah, a long, long way to run.
101
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:25,320
So, a needle pulling thread.
102
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,560
Blah, I know to follow.
103
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:32,720
A drink with Jim and Brad.
104
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,520
Me?
105
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:39,100
Me, a name I call myself.
106
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,120
A long, long way to run.
107
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:45,700
So, a needle pulling thread.
108
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:49,280
La, ain't no two for those two.
109
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:53,180
Tea, a drink with Jim and Brad.
110
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,120
Go. Go, a deer, a female.
111
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:00,840
Go. Go, a deer, a female.
112
00:13:05,589 --> 00:13:09,670
A name I call myself.
113
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:11,010
I should be bold.
114
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:16,090
A beer, a female beer. Go away.
115
00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:23,790
Now just listen to me.
116
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,610
Me and my shadow.
117
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:47,530
To bring a note of culture to the show,
is the set changed yet?
118
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:48,810
Yeah, it's okay.
119
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:53,350
Okay, here is the lovely and talented
Miss Marisa Berenson.
120
00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:09,990
Well, a man came to our house, our
house, our house. A man came to our
121
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:11,250
sell us some rooms.
122
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:23,910
Yes,
123
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:33,790
you're always welcome in our house, and
we hope you will stay.
124
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:48,900
The lady came to find out why I was not
in school. So we asked her to come in
125
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,780
and we gave her some poison lemonade and
hid her in the freezer where it's nice
126
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,780
and cool.
127
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:25,120
The kid came into our yard to get his
ball. So we asked him to come in and we
128
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:30,180
took him in the basement and we sealed
him up inside the basement wall.
129
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:36,960
But you're always welcome in our house
any time of the
130
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,180
day. Yes, you are.
131
00:15:55,530 --> 00:16:01,130
Come to our house We will have fun We
will ask you to come in And we will take
132
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:06,970
you in the kitchen We will put you in
the oven Until you are done But you're
133
00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:13,170
always welcome In our house Any time of
the day
134
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:17,250
Yes you're always welcome In our house
135
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:55,250
You know, I'll have to take one look at
this wedding cake and I feel like
136
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:56,730
crying. Heaven knows why.
137
00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:59,750
Oh, well, Gaspard, there's a cake and a
onions.
138
00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:01,189
You what?
139
00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:03,650
Onions. Well, onions and a wedding cake.
140
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:04,869
Oh, yeah.
141
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:07,329
Onions would be good for the sinuses.
142
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,210
Clears the head.
143
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:11,450
Yeah. And this cake will clear the
church.
144
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,369
Oh, curse these flies.
145
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,839
Hear what you say? I like something on
the side.
146
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,240
Well, there already is something on the
side.
147
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:30,680
Yeah.
148
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,700
Yeah.
149
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,440
Aside from the raw onions, it's a nice
cake, Chef.
150
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:43,960
Yeah, because if you're into her, this
is the piggy brady.
151
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:47,680
I can see it's just as light as a
feather. Yeah.
152
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,800
Can't say the same for the bride.
153
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:05,800
Hey, hey, come on. Let me throw one
fish. Just one fish.
154
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,040
Then you'll see.
155
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:12,380
Listen, when I book a boomerang fish act
on this show, some very warm places
156
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:13,560
will freeze over.
157
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,380
Thanks a lot.
158
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:16,880
I'll wait over there.
159
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:22,220
Hey, Kermit, there's this dear little
old lady in the audience who wants your
160
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,980
autograph for her sick grandson. Sign
here. Oh, okay, yeah.
161
00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:28,330
Hey, listen, is everything ready for
this dumb wedding sketch?
162
00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:32,530
Sure. The set's on stage. Everyone's in
costume. You sign the license. You sign
163
00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:33,530
the autograph.
164
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,410
Oh, nothing.
165
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:36,930
Just go ahead. Introduce the wedding.
166
00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:39,410
Go ahead.
167
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:44,930
Well, today, folks, Miss Piggy has
prepared a silly wedding sketch.
168
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,630
Naturally, it's just for fun. Excuse me.
169
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:52,010
What is it? Can we start soon? I'm
saying Vespers at St.
170
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,210
Anne's in half an hour.
171
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,860
And now the wedding sketch.
172
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:19,800
Oh, Marisa, do I look all right?
173
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:22,060
You look radiant, my dear.
174
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:48,360
You sure this is going to be funny?
175
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,420
Trust me.
176
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:59,320
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to join this pig and this
177
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,660
frog in holy wedlock.
178
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:06,560
I guess everyone cries at weddings.
179
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,540
No cries at weddings.
180
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:13,720
Hey!
181
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:21,340
If there is anyone present who knows why
this pig and this frog should not be
182
00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:27,240
joined in matrimony, let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.
183
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:39,420
Do it!
184
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,120
Do you, piggy?
185
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,140
take this frog to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
186
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,840
I do.
187
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:58,940
And do you, Kermit, take this pig to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
188
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:07,640
I... I am.
189
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:04,859
Biggie's wedding sketch.
190
00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:07,460
That's not the finish. This is the
finish.
191
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:09,660
Well,
192
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,500
time seems to be running out not only
for the show, but for me.
193
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:21,820
So let us quickly welcome back the
lovely and talented Miss Marisa!
194
00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:38,600
you mind saying good night for me me how
exciting exciting marisa you ain't seen
195
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:43,880
nothing yet what do i say well we'll
just say we'll see you next time
196
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,700
If you guys let me hide here, I'll give
you tickets to next week's show.
15015
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