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Oh, rats.
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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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This episode of The Muppet Show stars
Gilda Ratt.
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For me, one of the special moments to
look out for in this episode is an
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version of Lullaby of Broadway.
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Come on along and listen to the Lullaby
of Broadway.
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For me, this is...
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A nice piece because there's a penguin
in that that I actually built at the
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time. And, of course, this episode also
contains a wonderful classic Muppet
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misunderstanding.
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There's a moment where Gilda asks for a
seven -foot parrot to appear with her. A
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seven -foot tall talking parrot?
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I wrote you in the letter.
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Well, I got your letter, but I couldn't
quite read your handwriting.
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Parrot. What did you think I asked for?
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And as my father used to say, it's a
perfectly terrible joke, but it's worthy
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us. Here it is, the Muppet Show.
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Gilda Radner!
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Gilda Radner! 30 seconds to curtain,
Miss Radner!
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Well, Scooter, what's all this fuss I
keep hearing about me doing the Muffin
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Show?
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show. It's the Muppet.
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lullaby from beyond the Antarctic
Circle, or somewhere.
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Second Street.
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Well, I got your letter, but I couldn't
quite read your handwriting.
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Parrot. What did you think I asked for?
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Well, I wasn't really sure, but I
thought it was a... Never mind.
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Must I share my dressing room with the
other vegetables?
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A seven -foot -tall talking carrot?
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Watch it, lady.
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I'm a star. I sang the hit song from
Cold.
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call call porter call slaw they paid him
a huge salary now she's stealing
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my jokes well i have to do something i
don't have an opening number now why not
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well i was going to do selections from
the parrot
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foolhardy enough to tackle the blinding
complexity of the following musical
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number. But here she is, tempting fate,
Miss Gilda Ratner!
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I am the very model of a modern major
general.
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I've information, vegetable, animal, and
mineral. I know the kings of England,
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and I quote the fight to Sarek. From
Allelu to Allelu... Hold it, hold it,
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maestro, please.
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You blew it, my child.
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Never send a girl into... a carrot's
work.
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If I knew a 12 -foot rabbit, you'd
really be in trouble.
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Why don't we try an easy one, hmm?
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Maestro, please.
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When a carrot's not engaged in his
employment, or maturing his felonious
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little plans,
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His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is
just as great as any
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honest man Our feelings we with
difficulty smother When our
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vegetarian duty's to be done I'll take
one consideration with another
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A carrot's lot is not a happy one
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They travel with me everywhere.
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What do you got? A chauffeur -driven
shopping cart?
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Why don't you just stand back and let me
show you how it's done?
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I am the very model of a modern major
general. I have information, vegetation,
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and the maple... Oh, potatoes.
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Hold it, hold it. See, you didn't make
it either.
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Maybe I didn't want to make it.
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Why don't you sing, Gilda?
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Poor wandering one, though thou hast
surely
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strayed, take heart and grace, thy steps
retrace.
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Poor wandering one,
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poor wandering one, if such poor love...
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Vegetable, animal, and mineral.
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I know the kings of England. And I
crucify historical.
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From Marathon to Waterloo in auto
-categorical. And military knowledge,
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I'm plucky and adventuring. Has only
been brought down to the beginning of
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century. But still it matters,
vegetable.
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Animal and mineral. I am the very model
of a modern native general.
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But still it matters, vegetable, animal.
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Music puts me right to sleep.
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You too, huh?
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Ladies and gentlemen, a Muppet
melodrama.
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Help!
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And now, for the last time, my little
peach pie, will you marry me?
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Drop dead!
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I think that might be my line.
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a double thing, though.
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Ah, quite simple, my boy, quite simple.
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Music, maestro, please. Music?
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Now, come to the Pascinato del Pondador.
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Incomparable Marvin Suggs. I say
incomparable because I can't imagine
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to compare him to.
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little bird.
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in vain.
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do here at muppet labs where the future
is being made today and here with me is
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the lovely miss gilda radner today we
have an amazing demonstration
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and gilda here has graciously
volunteered to be our human guinea pig i
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that's settled then oh i shall need you
too beaker come on in here now we're
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ready to begin uh listen dr honeydew you
you said assistant i never heard you
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say the word guinea pig?
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Just put your head down here so Uncle
Bunny can work on you. Well, you see, I
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don't mind assisting, but I'm not crazy
about the idea of guinea pigging. Mm
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-hmm. There we go.
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There.
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I have just placed on Gilda's forehead a
single teensy -weensy drop of Muppet's
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new super adhesive.
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Now we'll wait a moment for it to get
tacky.
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What are we waiting for?
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For it to get tacky.
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Well, another first on this show.
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How's that?
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Well, it's the first... time we've had
to wait for it to get tacky.
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And with that single drop of glue, I
shall stick this rope to Gilda's
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and then Beaker and I shall haul on the
rope, thus lifting Miss Radner bodily
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off the floor. No, no, no, no, no. Wait
a minute.
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That's okay, Gilda. That's all right.
Now, Beaker, I hope you're feeling fit.
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Oh, there was glue on the rag.
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Oh,
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no, no, don't squeeze that tube.
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Oh, let me consult my notes.
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Mr. Scribbler, I'll ask her. Agilda!
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Agilda, a reporter would like to know,
what is the secret of your success?
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Can I talk to you for a second? Well, I
guess you could just say that she has
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stuck with it.
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And in the little time I've known her,
she's really cemented our friendship.
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control.
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Yeah, well, shouldn't he be further from
the screen?
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No, his eyes are glued to the set.
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Mr.
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Posse, would you introduce the next
member?
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Hi,
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we're having a little trouble back here,
but that's okay, that's okay.
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Let's just give a great big hand for our
very special guest star.
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Oh, no, my hand is stuck.
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and you pay.
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Your poor being.
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