Original subtitles

Leo Sayre, 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Sayre.

Thank you, Scooter. You know, I don't really believe that this is the Muppet

Show. It's so quiet in here, you can almost hear a pin drop.

Strike!

Now I believe it's the Muppet Show.

It's the Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Leo Sayre!

It's time to put on makeup.

It's time to dress up right.

It's time to get things started.

Why don't you get things started?

Come back here, Statler. If I have to stay and watch this, so do you.

It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational,

salivational, motivational, this is what we...

excited about tonight's guest star because it's not very often that we have

really good rock on the show.

Yeah, we rocks are pretty upset by it.

I suppose that's true. I guess we've been taking you for granted.

My lucky rock with no sense of humor. Get out of here.

Okay, as I was trying to say, here is one of the truly great stars of rock

music, the delightful Mr. Leo Sayre, who makes us feel like dancing.

I'm in a spin.

paper number coming up next?

Oh, yeah, that's a song that Annie Sue is doing. You know, she's a girl singer.

Uh -huh.

I see, I see. Yeah, but she's not at all like you, Miss Piggy.

Well, of course not, Kermie. You said she was a girl singer.

I am a woman singer.

Yeah, yeah, well, that is true.

So, uh, what is, uh, what is she, a chicken?

Uh, what, a goat?

prawn, is she?

No, no, she's a, well, she's a, she's a pig.

She's a pig.

Another girl pig singer?

Yeah, but you're a woman. Forget that, who cares?

Yeah, but like I say, she's nothing like you. I mean, she's very young.

What?

She's just a kid. She's very inexperienced. She's just learning the

Miss Piggy.

Oh, good. Oh, Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy? What?

Would you like to say hello to Annie Sue?

Oh, hello, Annabelle.

Miss Piggy.

How do you do, ma 'am? Yes, if you'll both excuse me.

Yeah, she had some things to do.

the Muppets' Delightful Little Lady of Song.

That is, one of the Muppets' Delightful Little Ladies of Song, Miss Annie Sue.

Shall we shoot her now before she ruins everything?

Hey,

that was terrific, Annie Sue.

Oh, thank you, sir. I was so nervous.

Oh, you were wonderful.

The audience loved you. You were a smash.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Speaking of smash... Miss Piggy, you know that dramatic recitation you've

wanted to do?

Of course.

Well, I want you to do it now.

Really? I had the stage all set up out there for you.

Oh, Kermit.

Which side did she kiss you on? This one over here.

It sounded good, but it wasn't quite the arrangement I sent in, you know. Oh,

yeah. Well, your arrangements came yesterday.

Animal had them for lunch.

He ate my arrangements? Well, he certainly couldn't read them.

When Animal gets anything, he either hits it or eats it.

No third alternative.

Interesting. Anyway, it sounded good. You know, I'd really like to meet

Hey, you want to meet Animal? That's no problem.

Hey, one thing, though. What's that? You see that line down there on the floor?

This line here? Yeah, stand behind that line. Stand behind it? Yeah, that's

perfect. Hey, Animal!

Come on in here, Animal!

Why do I have to stand behind the line? Because that's how far his chain

reaches.

Uh, excuse me, Miss Piggy, Annie Sue is outside.

Good, she can stay there.

Aw, uh, listen, listen, Miss Piggy, she just has something to say to you. Why

don't you be nice to her for my sake, okay?

All right, Kermie, I shall be nice to her, but just pour vous.

Aw, thank you.

Send in the little twerp.

happen.

with our resident hick, Mr. Fozzie Bear.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love you. Love you.

Nothing.

Okay.

With the help of my lovely assistant, Miss Annie Sue Pig.

Oh, sure, now.

Yeah. I will astonish you all with... Oh, I forgot what I was going to

do.

Oh, yes. A memory act.

Yes, with the help of my lovely assistant, any... any... I'll help.

Anything big here? Yes. I shall now demonstrate my remarkable

photographic memory.

Hey, what's a photographic memory?

In your case, a memory that needs developing.

I shall now ask any hoo -ha pig here.

Uh, to close her eyes, and then I shall describe what she is wearing.

No. Uh, I, I, no. She will, I will close my eyes, and then, uh, she will, I

will describe what she is, uh, no, wait. How about we close our eyes and get

some well -earned sleep?

No, no, no, no, I got it. Listen, listen. Uh, miss.

Miss, uh, uh, thing -any -thing -thing here. Yes, yes, uh, she will describe

what somebody here is wearing. Yeah, and with my eyes shut, I will remember

where that person is sitting.

Uh, drumroll.

Okay, do it. Okay, the mystery person is wearing a little brown hat. Yep.

A white bow tie.

Yep. With red polka dots. Yep.

Yeah, well, so is that all he's wearing? Come on. Yeah, cool.

That's ridiculous.

I mean, that means apart from a hat and a tie, he's bare.

That's right.

It is?

It's you.

It's me? Of course it's me. Oh, yes, thank you. Yes, yes, yes, thank you.

Okay, stand by for Leo's last number.

Oh, Kermit, I am so embarrassed.

I forgot everything out there.

Oh, don't worry, Fonzie. They loved her.

Who? Your assistant, Annie Sue.

Oh, yes.

I forgot.

See? See? It's getting worse.

They seemed to like it. Oh, you were wonderful, Annie Sue.

Oh, thank you, Kermit, sir, but I really didn't do that much. Oh, well, you just

saved Fonzie's act. That's all.

Really?

I'd say that that bear was in a lot of trouble.

Yeah? Oh, no!

It's the frog's turn!

and now ladies and gentlemen our very special guest star Mr. Leo Sayre

My junk clothes.

It's only a heartbeat away.

It's not easy when the road is your driver.

Thanks, Carmen. It was just wonderful.

Really. Leo, Leo, I just want you to know... Yeah, excuse me, Pig.

Wonderful singer, and I think Leo... Oh, and he's so... Hey, you were wonderful,

honey. You know, you're really going to be a big showbiz star. I really feel it.

Tomorrow at 7 on The Muppet Show, Bunsen tests out the strength of a new glue,

forcing comedian Gilda Ratner and Beaker to become inseparable.

Coming up next on Happy Days, Fonzie quits his job at the garage to be a door

-to -door salesman.

That was an amazing mess of mediocre mediocrity. You can say that again.

Wanna bet?