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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:06,630
Chris Christopherson and Rita Coolidge,
25 seconds to curtain, folks.
2
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:07,870
No problem.
3
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,130
We'll be ready.
4
00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:13,810
Great. By the way, I hope you folks
don't mind having to share a dressing
5
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:19,650
No, not at all. Good. Come on in, guys.
You can share Chris and Rita's dressing
6
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:20,650
room.
7
00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:21,730
Oh, boy.
8
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,260
special guest stars Rita Coolidge and
Chris Christopherson.
9
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,080
It's time to play the music.
10
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,020
It's time to light the light.
11
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,360
It's time to meet the Muppets on the
Muppet Show tonight.
12
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,440
It's time to put on makeup.
13
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,380
It's time to dress up right.
14
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,600
It's time to get things started.
15
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,860
Why don't you get things started?
16
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,740
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
17
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:15,860
It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
18
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,500
celebrational.
19
00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:41,390
special show tonight because we have not
one, but two special guest stars. We
20
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:44,370
have Mr. Chris Christopherson and Miss
Rita Cooley.
21
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:49,610
Yes,
22
00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:54,630
Miss Piggy. I just want to thank you for
letting me do this opening number with
23
00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:56,350
Chris. Oh, well, that's all right.
24
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,530
It's a very sexy number.
25
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:00,530
I hope you won't be jealous.
26
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:02,930
Don't worry.
27
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:04,710
Uh, sure.
28
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,290
Positive.
29
00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:07,670
Oh.
30
00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,370
Chris, please.
31
00:02:11,610 --> 00:02:15,850
Come here, come here. You'd better
introduce us. He just cannot wait.
32
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:18,750
Well,
33
00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:22,290
ladies and gentlemen, here he is. Come
here, come here.
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00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:27,030
I just want you to know, no matter what
happens, it's you I love.
35
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:28,770
Trust me.
36
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,730
Yeah, okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen,
here he is, Mr.
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00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:34,990
Chris Christopherson.
38
00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:49,150
Take the ribbon from your hair.
39
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:54,830
Shake it loose. Let it fall.
40
00:02:58,050 --> 00:03:01,330
Laying soft against my skin.
41
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:06,770
Like the shadows on the wall.
42
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,790
Come and lay down by my...
43
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:21,370
Till the early morning light. Oh, you
silver -tongued devil.
44
00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:25,050
All I'm taking is your time.
45
00:03:25,990 --> 00:03:27,310
Take it.
46
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:30,570
Help me make it through the night.
47
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:32,270
Oh, Chrissy.
48
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:36,650
You care who's right or wrong.
49
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,910
I don't try to understand.
50
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,800
Yesterday is dead and gone.
51
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:02,840
Yesterday is dead and gone.
52
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,740
And tomorrow's out of sight.
53
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,660
Yes, tomorrow's out of sight.
54
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,580
And it's sad to be alone.
55
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,300
So sad to be alone.
56
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,500
Help me make it through the night.
57
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,280
We don't want to be alone.
58
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:30,130
me make it through the night
59
00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:45,830
wonderful
60
00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,810
wonderful
61
00:04:58,460 --> 00:04:59,460
Yeah, dear?
62
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,080
What's the soup, the jor?
63
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:02,380
Same as yesterday.
64
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,780
Good. I'll have that and the chicken.
65
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,560
Now, how do you want your chicken?
Baked, broiled, or barbecued?
66
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,120
I want the chicken for company.
67
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,540
I hate to eat alone.
68
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:16,980
For a second there, I thought you was
one of them weirdos.
69
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:18,560
I still do.
70
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:24,240
Hey, Gonzo, Hermit says you're on next.
Oh, thank you.
71
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,740
It's okay, dear. You'll pay me later.
72
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:31,160
Thank you. Hey, you're finally going to
get to do the old piano balancing act,
73
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:32,220
eh? Yeah.
74
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,180
You'll pay me now.
75
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,980
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the great
Gonzo in a master feat of mathematical
76
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,980
dexterity. Is he ready back there?
77
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,099
No, no.
78
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,500
Ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
79
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,380
Okay. The great Gonzo.
80
00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:57,190
master feat of mathematical dexterity
will recite the seven times
81
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:01,150
table while balancing a piano and
standing in a hammock?
82
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:27,270
3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
83
00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:36,130
That certainly suited Gonzo. It did?
Yep, suited him right down to the
84
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530
Dr.
85
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:50,690
Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs
where the future is being made today.
86
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:57,090
Well, I've got some news of welcome
relief to short, stubbly people like
87
00:06:57,090 --> 00:06:58,090
here.
88
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:02,170
Announcing new Muppet Labs Atomic
Elevator Shoes.
89
00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:07,430
Yes, these shoes can add inches to your
height at the mere flick of a lever.
90
00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:10,790
Beaker is wearing them now, and they
work like this.
91
00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:12,190
Up.
92
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,330
Down.
93
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:20,390
Oh, Beaker, stop it. You're just acting
like a baby.
94
00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:28,300
And so the atomic elevator shoe adds
untold interest to Beaker's unfortunate
95
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,300
defeat.
96
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,800
Beaker, you never told me you wore
stripy socks.
97
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,360
That's all for today from Muppet Labs.
98
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,190
What a nice stall.
99
00:08:08,630 --> 00:08:10,070
Hello, Miss Piggy.
100
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:15,970
Oh. Hello, Annabelle. You look so
beautiful today.
101
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,630
Of course I do.
102
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:19,830
Now, what'll it be?
103
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,890
Won't we watch a special?
104
00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:27,550
I shall see the menus of a play.
105
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,590
The name's Gladys.
106
00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:34,370
Well, Gladys, I shall have...
107
00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,860
sandwich on whole wheat and four ounces
of rhubarb juice.
108
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,660
on the Henderson burglary. Police have
recovered all the stolen property except
109
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:23,660
the silverware.
110
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,920
It has disappeared into thin air.
111
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:36,140
Not right now, Miss Piggy. I have to go
introduce Rita Coolidge. Oh, I just
112
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:40,780
wanted to mention that Mr.
Christopherson and Miss Coolidge are
113
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,760
Yeah, I know.
114
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,620
It shows that you can...
115
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,940
show business careers and marriage.
116
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,280
Well, I suppose it does, yes.
117
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,480
But, you know, we both have show
business careers.
118
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,439
That's true.
119
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,440
Mm -hmm.
120
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,620
Need I say more?
121
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:02,720
Miss Piggy, I really have to go
introduce Rita Coolidge. Yes, dear.
122
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,840
I just wanted you to think about it.
123
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,840
I don't have time to think about it.
124
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:10,360
Maybe six months in the hospital will
give you more time to think.
125
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,560
I don't think about it.
126
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,800
Thank you.
127
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:23,230
Here she is, our second very special
guest, a lovely lady with a beautiful
128
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:25,610
and a wonderful song, Miss Rita
Coolidge.
129
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,200
Once a stone...
130
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:45,590
Yes. Are you sure?
131
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:48,730
Sure, I'm sure, Chris. You don't see
anybody, do you?
132
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:52,270
No, but around here it doesn't make any
difference. Everything on this show
133
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:53,270
walks and talks.
134
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:54,890
Animals, vegetables.
135
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:56,530
Don't forget about the minerals.
136
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,970
You heard me, Buster.
137
00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:05,270
Would you mind leaving us alone for a
while, please? Oh, sure thing. Come on,
138
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:06,310
gang.
139
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,340
Rita, this is a very weird show.
140
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:19,100
Yes, that was a little strange, but I
think you'll find most of the Muppets
141
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,039
pretty normal.
142
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,900
Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Scooter, Kermit.
143
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,500
Hi. Hi. How about this one?
144
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,480
Bonzo? Hi. Say, how about a couple of
autographs?
145
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,020
Sure, I'll get a pen for you. Oh, you
don't have to.
146
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:35,720
I already signed them.
147
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,640
You're giving us your autographs, huh?
Yeah.
148
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:44,170
They're really valuable now since my
piano balancing act.
149
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,710
But, uh, Gonzo, you fell.
150
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,130
I know.
151
00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:50,350
A lot of people think I'm dead now.
152
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:53,090
Isn't that terrific?
153
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:10,680
Young folks like to get away, take a
holiday from the neighborhood.
154
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:15,920
Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to
Hollywood.
155
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:23,980
I'm taking a greyhound on the Hudson
River line.
156
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,400
I'm in a New York state of mind.
157
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,660
Out of touch with the rhythm and blues.
158
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:54,820
Now I need a little give and take.
159
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,880
The New York Times.
160
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,100
The Daily News.
161
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:09,460
Come down to reality.
162
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:13,000
And it's fine with me. Cause I love it.
163
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:27,110
I don't have any reason to let them all
behind.
164
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:32,210
I'm in a New York state of mind.
165
00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:40,770
I'm in a New York state of mind.
166
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,880
Well,
167
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,740
I didn't think I'd live to see it, but
for once they've given us something
168
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,240
than second -rate entertainment.
169
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:03,539
What's that?
170
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:04,860
Third -rate entertainment.
171
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:29,040
That was mighty fine, Gladys. My
compliments to the chef.
172
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,240
Hey, he says he liked it.
173
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,920
Who are you talking to? The short order
cook.
174
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,280
This place takes itself so literally.
175
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,480
Well, of course it does.
176
00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:42,520
Hey, you want to see our apple turnover?
177
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000
Sure.
178
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,120
I might just slide by later and take a
look at the salad dressing.
179
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,320
Hey,
180
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:00,340
what about Animal?
181
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,980
He hasn't ordered yet.
182
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,680
No, it's okay. He just finished the TV
dinner.
183
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,200
Well, did he remember to...
184
00:17:27,459 --> 00:17:28,459
Okay,
185
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,040
what happens now?
186
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,420
Oh, now comes the funny part.
187
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,500
Well, leaving the stage is funnier than
a lot of things the bear does.
188
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:54,780
Okay, now, now.
189
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:56,950
Ask me what I'm carrying the fish for.
190
00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:59,490
Oh, Fonzie, what are you carrying the
fish for?
191
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:01,590
Oh, just for the halibut.
192
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,530
They were better off leaving the stage.
193
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:06,990
Ah!
194
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:12,030
Hi -diddly -dee, an actor's life for me.
195
00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:16,530
A high -spill cat in a silver cane, a
watch of gold with a diamond chain.
196
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:19,870
Hi -diddly -doo, if we still ask you to.
197
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:21,510
Hey, Fonzie.
198
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:22,890
This number needs help.
199
00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:24,410
No, it doesn't. It needs scenery.
200
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,270
Oh, it's wonderful scenery.
201
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:29,710
But is it funny?
202
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:33,770
Okay, now, now, ask me what I'm carrying
the hoop for.
203
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,710
Oh, Fozzie, what are you carrying the
hoop for?
204
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:40,470
Ah, because that little Waldorf are
always saying the show is hoopless.
205
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:44,150
Just for the hell of it. Keep trying.
Stop.
206
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:46,330
Here we go. Hi.
207
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:52,960
actor's life for me. A high silk hat and
a silver cane. A watch of gold with a
208
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:53,879
diamond chain.
209
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,880
Hi, dildo.
210
00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:57,080
You sleep till after two.
211
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,460
You promenade with a big cigar.
212
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:04,320
You tour the world in a private car. You
dine on chicken and caviar. An actor's
213
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,279
life for me.
214
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,980
An actor's life.
215
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:24,850
together and see what happens.
216
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:27,830
Ladies and gentlemen, Chris
Christopherson and Rita Coolidge.
217
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,180
Yeah, Kermit. Uh, where's Gonzo?
218
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,460
Gonzo? Oh, he was, uh... Oh,
219
00:22:21,820 --> 00:22:28,420
Gonzo. Shh.
220
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:29,700
I'm only pretending.
221
00:22:29,980 --> 00:22:31,780
My autographs will be worth a fortune.
222
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:07,120
at 7 on The Muppet Show, Scooter is
amazed when guest star Raquel Welch
223
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,380
of changing her image.
224
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:13,900
Next on Happy Days, when Jodi and Tachi
sneak out to see a concert, it turns out
225
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:15,540
to be a one -way ticket to trouble.
226
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:19,420
You know, they can improve the whole
show if they just change the ending. Oh,
227
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,060
put it closer to the beginning.
16884
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