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look at this dork. He's one of my clients for my dating service.

Unemployed, lives with his mom in his van, and speaks fluent Klingon?

Wait, Lisa, I think I found you a live one.

Really? Let me see.

Ew, and a unibrow.

Thanks.

Who wants to come to a hot party in the Hollywood Hills tonight?

Will there be women at this one, man?

Hey, I didn't know that was going to be the Brokeback Mountain Rap Party.

You guys in or you out?

Well, that depends.

Are we going to ask Brianna and Ernest to come? No way. They've only been

up for a few weeks. It'd be way too awkward.

Yeah, exes can't be friends.

But they can run for governor and then act like they don't know you.

Must be so painful for them every time they see each other.

Painful for them? How about us? I mean, all they do is talk about the weather.

High out today, huh?

Must be about 80.

82, the radio said.

15 % chance of rain.

Can't take this weather crap anymore. Yo, Arnaz, why don't y 'all talk about

something more interesting?

Like the Middle East.

Right, fine, fine. Yeah, we can do that.

Did you hear that it gets as high as 125 degrees over there?

Huh.

Well, do you know if it's dry heat or is there humidity?

Good question.

Okay.

I hate to bother you because I know you're all torn up and stuff.

I'm fine.

Such a brave soldier.

Anyway, look, I made you something to help you through this trying time.

All right? I call it my you were too good for Arnaz anyway mix.

I'm every woman because you represent.

I will survive because I know you will.

And sexual healing, which I personally think is the way to go.

Where's everyone going?

Nowhere. Oh, I don't need no man.

No, I don't need... Wait a minute. Where is everybody going?

Nowhere.

Wait a second. You guys were going out without me?

No. We were ditching our nights, too. See ya.

Wait, why?

Just because we broke up, you don't think we can't hang out with each other?

Pretty much.

But...

problem with it. Do you have a problem with it, Arnaz?

Hey, if you don't have a problem with it, I sure don't.

Just hope it doesn't rain.

Hey, will you stop checking out Arnaz? Chris Brown is the one with the Rolex.

Actually, I was checking out D -Mag. He's kind of hot.

Back off, sister.

I've been working that for two years.

Yo, this house must be higher up than I thought because right now I'm looking at

an angel.

I know who I am, but I'm interested in who you are.

I'm Brianna.

Brianna, Brianna.

It's kind of hot.

Uh -oh. Oh, but you're also only 16.

Age ain't nothing but a number. Tell me. So, if you're not afraid of calling the

16 -year -old and afraid of a little jail time, here's my card.

Oh, my God.

You just hung down Chris Brown.

He's 16.

So, by the time you decide to have sex with him, he'll be 18.

Another prosciutto wrapped shrimp for the lovely lady.

Compliments to the chef.

I thought I was pulled free.

You made these?

They're wonderful.

Keep them coming.

Oh, I plan to.

I'll take... nothing.

I thought I could handle this.

It's weird being at the same party as my ex -girlfriend.

Especially when she's acting like we never went out. There's a lot of people

here. You could go the whole night and not worry about seeing her.

Oh, God, here she comes.

It's a beautiful view, great visibility.

It's probably not cloudy.

The bomber's been falling all day.

Okay, stop talking about the weather.

Why don't you both just admit that you're uncomfortable around each other

can all get on with our partly cloudy lives?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Not only am I good with our breakup, I have so moved on.

Oh, so you moved on?

Just like that?

Well, of course.

That's what people do when they have... have a huge fight and break up, they

move on. Haven't you moved on?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I'm more than moved on.

Uh -huh, I've moved on so much, I'm actually back where I started.

Yeah, in fact, I've moved on so much, I'm thinking about what to say to that

cute girl over there.

Okay, good for you.

And since I've moved on so much too, I'm going to help you out with that by

introducing you.

Don't do it, man. The minute she says hi, Brianna's gonna shank her with a

cocktail soda.

Don't be silly.

Now come on and let me do all the talking. You're not so good at it.

I'm so well at it.

Excuse me.

Hi, my friend is kind of shy, but he would really like to meet you. Oh, guy,

that kid doesn't have to be shy.

Really?

I like those jeans.

They look well on you.

Oh, thank you.

What country are you from?

Oh, word? More food?

Oh, this is great. Yo, I could eat this every day.

No, no, no, no.

This is a beautiful lady.

I didn't get your name.

Sarah. Rinaldo.

And I'm Lisa, and I'm starving.

Don't worry, I'll make you a fresh batch.

It's okay.

I am just as interested in the chef as I am in the food.

You know, you're really good at what you do.

I'm good at everything I do.

Do you do barbecue?

Excuse me?

Oh, don't pay attention to them. They're just my roommates.

Oh, roommates who would like to invite you to their barbecue tomorrow.

Yeah, you know, so you two can get to know each other in a more relaxed,

environment on our patio, which happens to have a grill.

So can you come?

Will you be there?

Yes. Then I'll come.

Can I bring anything?

Everything here tonight was good.

Good. Until tomorrow.

I look forward to it.

Hey, in case you guys didn't notice, I have just hooked up Arnaz, which proves

have mood.

Now, if you and I were laying in bed together naked, I'd believe you.

I'm not going to warn you again.

You sure your mama's white?

Sarah likes ribs, right? So make these for her. Don't worry about Sarah. She

won't date you, I will.

That wasn't really the plan.

Of course Sarah will date him. Wait till she tastes the cornbread.

I didn't make any cornbread.

No cornbread?

What, are you afraid of love?

No, I love love.

Sarah loves cornbread.

I'll make cornbread.

Okay, the lemonade is done. I guess I'll move on to Megan's and Bunch.

Well, when I finish shucking this corn, I'll move on to shucking whatever else

needs to be shucked.

Hey, how do I look? Because I just checked Renato's credit rating and it's

through the roof.

Oh, great.

Oh, but you better hurry up because you've got competition.

As soon as Cash tasted the ribs, he wouldn't put on his best shirt.

That is a nice shirt.

Rise and shine, girls.

We've got work to do.

All done.

Now this corn is free from its oppressive husk.

It's good to be free, doesn't it, corn?

Okay, now you're talking to the corn.

Well, it's not like we're talking.

You know what?

You're right.

This is silly.

We've been friends for too long to be treating each other like this.

We should stop playing games and just talk to each other like normal people.

No more dumb weather talk. No more talking to produce.

Let's just be really honest with each other.

Okay, I'd like that.

Could that be nice?

Ever since we broke up... Oh, wait, just a second.

Oh, no, I got it. Oh, no, it's okay. I'm closer.

No, really, I...

What are you doing here?

Arnaz invited me.

I'm sorry.

Did you say Arnaz invited you?

Yeah, I invited her last night.

Hi. Hi.

Can I put these sodas in the fridge?

Oh, I got them.

No, I'll get them.

No, I said I'll take them. Get them. Give them to me.

Look, I invited her last night before, you know, we decided to be real with

other. I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry? I don't have a problem with it.

You don't?

I thought we were being honest with each other.

You mean to tell me that you don't care that I invited her here?

Of course not. Why should I?

I just hope it doesn't rain today.

Oh, great. Now we're talking about the weather again.

For your information, there's only a 20 % chance of rain.

She's a 90 % chance of sunshine.

one's here because I'm not much of a weather buff.

Oh, no. Everybody else is out back.

Come here. I'll show you.

Hey, everybody. Look who's here. It's Alicia.

I guess she and Arnaz hit it off because he invited her to the barbecue.

So come on, everyone. Let's say hi to Alicia.

Hi, Alicia.

Hi.

Damn shame somebody that fine dying so young.

Here, let me show you. Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. I'll show her. I'll show her.

We always go in twos.

It's a girl thing.

What the hell were you thinking, Ernest? Brianna's gonna kill that girl. Yeah,

we haven't even finished our appetizers yet.

Brianna just got done telling me how honest she wants us to be.

Now she's playing some kind of game like she doesn't care that Alicia's here.

Well, I'm gonna make her stop fronting.

Even if it costs Alicia most of her hair.

Oh, my God, what have you done with Alicia?

She's in the bathroom.

All right, think, think, think.

We wrap her body up in a shower curtain and then dump it just outside of

Barstow.

Here, take the back roads.

Wait, why do I have to do it? I have a date.

Okay, you two are scaring me. Why would I want to kill her? He should have never

brought her to the house.

How many times do I have to tell you guys? I have moved on.

Now, come on. Let's go enjoy the barbecue.

You know,

your food is delicious.

My research indicates.

I mean, your catering company must do very well.

Oh, it does, but my dream is to open my own restaurant and share it with the

woman I love.

You mean as in share the net?

share everything just like my dad did with my mom they're partners he cooks

cleans he drives to the fish market she loads the fish barrels he drives home

she cleans and guts the fish she is going to love meeting you oh my god the

woman's still alive uh will you excuse me for the rest of my life

Things heating up with the love chef?

No, he doesn't want a girlfriend. He wants a Gordon's fisherman.

Keep him away from me.

So did Sarah say anything about me?

She's totally into you.

But I think a chocolate mousse would really push you over the edge.

Chocolate mousse it is.

I'll go start the car.

Cute bathing suit.

I told Alicia we'd get such great rays from the patio. She might want to bring

bathing suit.

Thank you, bro.

Come on, Alicia. Sit down next to me.

Yeah, and don't forget your sunblock.

I wouldn't want you to borrow it. Thanks, Brianna.

Arnaz, will you do me? I'll do you if you do me.

Alicia before she gets too hot.

And that wouldn't upset you?

Not as much as our guest getting skin cancer.

Now do her.

Since you insist, I'd love to do her.

Hmm. Is this what you want, Brianna?

Forget it. I cannot watch this anymore.

Yes.

Give me that lotion.

Ooh, here comes the beam. We're beat down.

And once Alicia's on the ground, maybe we can get in a few kicks.

Now, it takes a woman to know how this is really done.

This is better than the... No, no, no.

Don't ruin this moment with words.

Okay, thanks for your help, but I'll take it from here. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I want to help.

After all, I want to be polite to the girl who you invited to our house, who

don't know, to come to our barbecue out of the goodness of your hormones.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I meant heart.

Isn't this what you wanted? Huh, Brianna? You're the one who introduced

You're the one who...

Thought she was so cute. You're the one who's so happy that she's here. Okay,

okay, that's it.

I don't even know why I go to these kind of parties. All you L .A. freaks want

to do is have orgies, and I am not going to end up on the Internet.

Again.

I knew I recognized her.

I liked you as a blonde.

Alicia, please.

Let me explain.

Oh, this turned out to be a great day for a barbecue.

Ooh.

even think about calling me.

And that goes for your little touchy -feely girlfriend, too.

What the hell was that?

Why can't you just yell and pull out her hair like a normal black woman?

Why? Is that what you wanted?

As a matter of fact, it was. Why do you think I invited her here?

You're so cool with everything, it's like you're not even hurting at all.

Like I am.

Of course I'm hurting.

I've just been acting, okay?

Because...

I thought if I faked it well enough, I'd believe it and it wouldn't hurt so

much.

But, to be honest, seeing you with her was killing me.

Really?

The truth is, I'm not really ready to see you with somebody else yet.

I guess this is going to be harder than I thought it would be.

Well, it didn't help you forcing Alicia on me.

But you do have a good taste, though.

So what are we going to do?

I don't know. Maybe we need some rules.

Okay.

Um, what if the house was neutral territory?

Off limits for dates.

Okay.

Here's one.

If you start dating another guy that you like, you have to wait the previously

established five years before having sex.

Deal?

Deal.

Here,

your chocolate mousse.

Sweets. I'm sorry,

I don't eat chocolate. It makes me break out.

But the guy said it was your favorite.

They promised me it was the way into your heart.

Oh, the guy said that, did they?

No, no, no, no, no, no. We said that she loves the chocolate mousse.

That's my nickname around the house.

They call me Baked Alaska.

Who was I when we were all getting the dessert nicknames?

You were shutting up, cupcake.

So, this is just a joke to you people?

You're just using me?

Let me leave you with one more of my specialties.

Love you too, Netta.