Original subtitles

Oh, and by the way, nobody even listens to 90 Degrees no more, not even Jessica.

Baby, are you all right? I have a philosophy midterm tomorrow, and I know

gonna fail. Well, come on, girl. You're just stressed.

Let me help you relax.

There you go.

Thanks, baby.

It's just so much harder than I thought it would be. Oh, sorry.

No, not that. I've got bigger issues.

Whoa. Maybe I can help you with your studies.

Okay. Right here.

Boy, you read this?

Can't you just rent the movie?

No, I read it twice. And I still don't understand what any of it has to do with

philosophy. Actually, Atlas Shrugged has everything to do with Ayn Rand's

philosophy of objectivism, which integrates ethics, metaphysics,

politics, economics, and my favorite subject, sex.

Oh, this book's about sex?

Maybe I will read it.

Might come in handy.

Someday.

Ayn realized in order to create heroic fictional characters, she had to

the philosophic principles which make such individuals possible.

Oh, I did a lot of reading when I was on lockdown.

What was a rich boy like you doing in jail?

Well, it wasn't jail.

I got grounded one summer.

I had to spend three months in a pool house with a jacuzzi with nothing but

jets.

You know what I don't get about this Atlas Shrug book?

If Atlas is holding up the world, then what's he standing on?

Unless it's upside down.

He dares to stand alone against the hostility of secondhand souls.

So what do you think that means?

I think that means I'm going to fail my midterm and fail out of school.

Translation, goodbye college and hello crack pipe.

Look, calm down, all right? It's simpler than that, all right? It means hero.

And this particular story represents the ideal man.

Man as he could be and ought to be.

and ought to pop a breath mint.

Ew, DMACC, you dropped something.

Your face.

How come we've been going to school together for two years and you've never

tried to help me with any of my classes?

Because you never went to any of your classes.

Just admit it. You'd rather go for the hot sauce than the fried rice.

That is not true.

I'm sure if you ask for...

No, he wouldn't. Tell her, D -Mac.

Okay. No, I wouldn't.

You two are always snapping at each other. Yeah, it's a game I like to call

-Mac has no Mac.

D -Mac, why are you always giving Lisa such a hard time?

I'm just having a little fun with her.

Yeah, well, I can't admit you can't be kind of fun.

Oh, so you like the D -Mac?

Oh, yeah.

Never mind.

Dude, you would not believe the day I had at work.

I spent the whole time making special sauce.

I got news for you. It ain't that special.

If you don't mind, we trying to use our minds, all right?

Besides, you smell like fish.

Oh, that.

Let me bring home the day -old stuff.

You want some?

Uh, no thanks, baby. We already ate.

Well, since you guys been working so hard, why don't you take a break?

Take a walk on the beach.

I brought dessert.

Ah, hot pie.

Thanks, boo.

But I really want to get an A on my philosophy exam tomorrow. And I should

advantage of DMACC while I got them.

All right. Guess I'll go take this special sauce and put it on my fish.

See ya.

Oh, hey, Arnett.

What's it called when you have the other player's king trapped and he can't go

anywhere? Uh, checkmate.

You know what I do every time I play anyone in this house? Because I'm the

checkmate. Master.

Meister.

Oh, yeah.

Checkmate. Rap.

Meister.

Loser.

What? That's impossible.

I never lose.

You cheated. How did I cheat? You have perky breasts.

Let's play again.

No, I'm not interested.

Me and my breasts are going to savor the moment that Cash lost for the first

time.

So what are you guys doing tonight?

Why? Lonely because your girlfriend is spending all of her time with D -Mac?

Uh, not really. That stuff is boring. Better him than me.

I want to have fun tonight.

Oh, good. You can come with us down to the coffee house.

Yeah, they have open mic nights.

We like to go down there and boo and shout obscenities.

It makes us feel better about ourselves.

Maybe I can perform there tonight.

Well, I feel better about myself already.

You know, the performance list is probably booked for tonight, but you

down there tomorrow and tell the owner that you're my roommate.

He's totally in love with me.

Who the hell is Sarah?

I guess it doesn't really matter. She said that she would give me some stage

time.

Lots of people want to book gigs here. You want to move up on the list, you can

start by busting tables.

How much does it pay?

Crap.

But you get your little stage time, and anything you make in tips is almost all

yours.

Thanks, man. Look, you're not going to regret this. One day when I'm a big

star... Yeah, whatever. Listen.

You can start by snaking the John, all right?

But if you find anything of value, we split it.

All right, Sarah, the board is set up. You have to give me a chance to win my

title back and make everything right with the universe.

Your move.

I'm not playing.

It's my title, and I'm keeping it.

I even made a tiara for myself.

It was my title the first five games we played.

Give me that tiara. No, it's mine for eternity. Which makes you the loser for

all eternity.

Fine.

But sleep with one eye open.

Blondie, that tiara will be mine.

Phew,

what's with all the cologne?

Huh? I'm not wearing no cologne.

You're right, it's wearing you.

You know, normally I have a comeback for you, Lisa, but I'm in a hurry. I'm

going on a date. A date? With who?

Not that I care.

With Brianna.

It's a study date, but she got an A on her midterm thanks to me. Now she wants

me to be her four -time tutor.

In what subject? Hitting that 101?

It happens to be astronomy. What subject are you studying? Hating?

Hey, come on. You know D -Mac thinks he's a player, but he knows that

Arnaz's girl.

Okay, you don't think you're a player, all right? You got to know it, baby.

Oh, boy.

See, with lines like that, you got to know.

Pitt Arnaz is gone. Nothing to worry about.

All right, D -Mac, I found the book that we need. So let's hit it.

That's exactly what I had in mind.

Now, the only way to study astronomy is to go look at the night sky.

Let me take you down to the beach and show you the stars.

Nobody wants to look at the stars with you or swim naked in the ocean.

All right, tell Arnaz I'll be back a little bit later.

Come on.

Lisa, why are you so concerned with what DMACC's doing?

I just think it's odd that suddenly he's spending all of his time with somebody

who just practically moved into the house.

You know what?

I think you have a crush on DMACC.

That's why you two are always at each other. I feel it.

What? I didn't... Shut up.

Hey, guys, I got good news.

I got a new job down at the blog.

Where'd we at? I don't want to tell her.

D -Mac's got her down on the beach showing her the big dipper.

What?

Okay, maybe it's not that big.

What are you talking about?

D -Mac is trying to make a play for your girl.

Why would you say that?

Because she has a... Ow!

Forget it. She's your girlfriend.

Until she gets intoxicated by his scent.

Why would Brianna be interested in DMACC? Huh? Because he's in college?

And he's funny?

And he's rich?

And he's... You know what?

I just remembered. I'm late for my palm reading down the boardwalk.

All right, see those two big stars?

Right there?

All right, go to the right a little bit.

See that bright yellow dot?

That's Venus, also known as the goddess of love.

D -Mac, what you know about love?

All I know is it's something that can happen when you find the right person.

I mean, for real, love is unpredictable.

It can happen anywhere.

On the street, at school, or even on the beach.

flirting with me.

Well, maybe a little.

Don't you like it?

Not worse, Orion.

All right, here, go this way a little bit. Are you looking for three stars in

the line?

Sit, wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Right there.

Oh, hell no!

Don't do anything that you're going to regret.

Regret? Look at what he's doing with my girl.

They were just... I just saw them.

They were pointing at the sky.

Together.

All he's doing is helping her study.

I mean, she just got an A thanks to D -Map.

She did?

Yeah. And the last thing that you want to do is be the guy who gets in the way

of her studies.

Isn't that what her dad said that you were going to do?

Well, he didn't single out school.

But I think it was implied when he said that I would ruin her life.

Hey, Arnaz, you have nothing to worry about. All she does is talk about you.

Arnaz, Arnaz, Arnaz, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. That's my girl.

Come on, let's go. All right.

Oh,

hey, Arnaz. I'm coming down to the blog tonight.

Oh, cool. Hey, don't get your hopes up, though. I haven't been there long enough

to get you free scones.

I'm coming down to see you and DMACC. He's doing a spoken word tonight.

So if DMACC wasn't doing spoken word, would you still come down to see me? Of

course I would, sweetie.

It's just that DMACC has been so supportive of me.

This is my way of being homologous.

That means the same way.

DMACC taught me that word.

You know what? It's been really cool hanging out with him.

He knows so much, and he is so funny.

Oh, what a great roommate.

Anyway, see you later.

So is this... Yes, it's weird.

Then I'm not crazy.

D -Mac is trying to push up on my girl?

Oh, he's trying to push up, down, left, right, every way he can.

Look, I love D -Mac like a brother, but they don't call him Mac for nothing.

Look, I don't have anything to worry about, right? For now. But you need to

handle this before it gets out of hand.

Then I should kick his ass.

No, because then one of you would have to go. How about I break his finger?

No, a creative way.

With a can opener!

Interesting, but I think you can let him know that you're Brianna's man without

using kitchen appliances.

All right, Java Heads, our next artist is a

regular here at the blog.

Let's welcome Da Mac.

No one decares.

Yay, Big Mac!

God, he looks great up there.

I mean, boo!

I got a special piece I want to do tonight for someone new in my life.

Can I get a spot?

We don't have a spotlight.

And can you dim a light for a brother?

Just do your poem, artsy freaks.

And would it kill you people to buy some coffee? It's a coffee shop.

To Saturn.

To Neptune.

To Venus above.

I can't keep my mind off my goddess of love.

Life's a struggle on this planet.

Three pebbles from the flame.

I work hard to keep it real. You know, stay on top of my game.

I know I'm not the man in your life, and yeah, that's true.

But one day, who knows?

I could end up with you, my intergalactic boo.

Lisa, can you go get us some lattes?

I know what's going on here. You're going to talk about Arnaz and DMACC.

Well, maybe we should talk about how you have a crush on... Two lattes coming

up!

I mean, you have to know that that poem was about you. That poem was not about

me.

Well, I may have been the inspiration. I do have that kind of effect on men.

Girl, you know how it is when you're the total package.

Yeah, it is a curse. I told you.

No, but seriously, I mean, this is not cute.

Arnaz is really upset.

Well, upset about what? Is this a little harmless flirting?

Not if you have a boyfriend.

And if you keep it up, you might not have one for long.

Look, I want to perform.

Look, I want to be able to reach the top shelf.

Looks like we're both out of luck.

I need this.

You can dock my pay.

Cool. Ladies and gentlemen, our next artist is Steve Arnaz.

Steve Arnaz!

Hi,

everybody. I got a little something I've been working on for someone new in my

life, too.

You always talk about what you got.

The stripes, the cheddar, the women you clocked.

Can you really be more than what I see?

Because to me, you're just five foot four and a tight little tee.

Did you little poem? She didn't say much.

And you're so skinny, I can see your nipples touch.

So back off, son.

Please give it a rest.

Unless you think you're hard enough to put me to the test.

up for steve and now we have a newcomer to the blog baby wait

you didn't need to do that no i think i did sweetie it's not like i haven't had

plenty of guys play with me before you should see all the guys at school at the

gym at the grocery store uh not helping getting mad again look what i'm trying

to say is i have to admit i like the attention but but i didn't mean anything

it

You have nothing to worry about, and you never will.

Because I'm in love with you, Arnaz.

Or Steve, or whoever you are.

You know what?

I kind of like you being a little gangster for our love.

Girl, you know how I roll.

Yeah, baby, let's not blow the fantasy.

Can you just rush back here just so you can wear my tiara?

It's not a tiara when a man wears it. It's a crown.

And a forfeit's as good as a loss.

Loser.

No, you're the loser. Now give me back my tiara, you cross -dresser.

Not until you win it back.

I got a chessboard set up in the living room.

All right.

Now, you know what? Forget chess.

Let's play a game that takes a little brain power.

A staring contest.

Starting now.

Hey, Arnez.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Brianna, DMACC and I need to have a little man talk.

Okay. All right, baby. I'll see you inside.

Come on, Lisa.

Girl, I said come on. We need to have a man talk.

Look, I heard you up there today, man.

You know, I'm in no disrespect.

But still, you got to understand, you know, when it comes to women, it's this

charm and charisma I just can't control.

Oh, I think I could control it.

And not just because we sleep, what, three feet from each other, but because

thought we were boys.

No, we are boys, man.

And I... I'm sorry.

All right?

You know, it was just easy to get carried away with Brianna because she's

so cool.

But she's your girl.

And I get that.

All right, good.

As long as we understand each other.

Baby, it says here it's a good time of night to see Venus.

And I'm pretty sure they mean the planet, not the tennis player.

We can go out to the beach and try to find it.

Look at you, taking an interest in my schoolwork.

Come on, let's go. All right.

And if we don't see Venus, we can always see Serena.

Honey, there's no planet Serena.

And you're the one going to college.

You know, DMACC, I'd really love to see the stars.

Oh, for real?

Yeah.

Well, here you go. Enjoy yourselves.

I hate you, too.

Oh, my God.

He does love me.

One, one, one.

Love you, Daddy. Love you, too, Netta.