Original subtitles

Last time on One -on -One.

Flex, I'm married.

Why'd you leave me on all this time?

I just can't handle this right now. Hello?

Brianna, it's Dwayne.

Your dad and I were in a car accident.

Oh, Flex, you are the person that I've been waiting for. I was just too scared

to say yes.

Where am I?

Am I in heaven?

On the other side of that door, you will find the woman that you will spend the

rest of your life with.

Flex, are you all right?

Tanya?

You've come back into my life for a reason.

Check it out y 'all.

Ta -da!

Give me some money.

Nice try. Three weeks ago when I was on my pain pills, I might have fallen for

that one. But now I am back to my old self.

We can go hiking, we can go bowling, we can pay tenants.

Uh, but Daddy, we never did any of that stuff before.

Well, we can start now.

Because we're a family. Right, girls?

Right.

Oh, good. Then we're a family.

Which means you won't mind that I'm wearing your shoes.

Right. Thanks to my day nurse, my night nurse, and my naughty nurse. Stop. Yes.

Uh, hello.

Remember me? The guy that pulled you from the burning wreckage of your

navigator?

Uh, Dwayne, that was the paramedics.

Yeah, but who was the one sitting on the curb crying, pointing out to where you

were?

Come on, D. You and Tanya don't have to fight over me anymore.

That's right, Dwayne. That was the old, insecure, don't touch my flex or I'll

kill you Tanya.

The new Tanya is not threatened by flexing friendships.

Well, then the new Tanya won't mind if I get flexed at the newspaper this

morning. All right, now, now, now. Not today. Today, I get my own newspaper.

Come on, now.

Oh,

hi. I was just leaving these muffins for you to welcome you home.

I've been home for three weeks.

Who's at the door, baby?

Oh, baby, this is Danielle, my therapist friend that I was telling you about.

Oh. Oh, Danielle, of course. I'm Tanya, Flex's... Girlfriend.

Yeah, Tanya's my girlfriend.

When I woke up in the hospital after the accident, there she was, my angel of

mercy, coming to save me.

Actually, she was changing your bedpan, but hey, a save's a save.

We dated three years ago, and I thought I lost her, but fate brought us back

together. Aw, that sweet baby.

Muffin?

Here, everyone.

These are hard as rocks.

Enjoy.

Well, she seems nice. Not much of a baker.

But she's done wonders with you, so she must be a heck of a therapist.

Too bad Flex fired her because he wanted to go out... on a limb.

And solve all his problems by himself.

Now look at him. Good job, dog.

Hey,

spirit. I didn't know you were on the yearbook committee.

Wouldn't it be easier to wear a sign that says, I'm a loser?

Why? You can't read it.

Anyway, Jerry Thompson dropped out on account of his allergic to ink, so I'm

taking his place. Cool, huh? I get a platinum hall pass and everything.

Yeah, and now Arnaz and I are a shoe -in for cutest...

Cutest couple? Does that stuff really mean something to you?

It doesn't mean something to me. It means everything to me.

It's all part of the master plan.

Cutest couple, big wedding, babies. Right, Arnaz?

Whatever. As long as somewhere in there we're having sex.

Well, don't expect me to help you win cutest couple. As a member of the

committee, I can in no way influence the outcome of the vote.

I took an oath.

We here at Yearbook take this stuff very seriously.

All right, which one of you four -eyed nerds crossed out the P in my hall pass?

Eugene?

Brianna!

Oh, Buffy!

I should have known you and Biffy were out peddling your cuteness all over

school.

and may the cutest couple win.

Oh, yeah, and that'll be us.

Oh, please.

Biffy and I have been a couple since the ninth grade.

The category is cutest couple, not cutest couple of months.

I mean, they're gonna be hard to beat. And they got buttons and everything.

Oh, you don't worry your pretty little head.

Mama's got this.

Come on, boo.

No, I look ridiculous.

and Buffy the Clown.

Fine.

Oh, my God. If it isn't Tweedledee and Tweedlewhipped.

Wait, wait, wait. You haven't seen the best part yet. Arnaz, turn around.

Couple cuties. Well, you're shooting for the dumbest couple.

you to scabble.

Those are blueberry.

Those are bran.

And those are banana nut.

Yeah, I really don't like your muffins.

Right, I confess. This was all just a ploy. Those are store -bought.

Oh, in that case, thank you.

Dwayne, can you keep a secret?

Sure.

I'm in love with Flex. Oh, no!

No, no, no.

You didn't tell me the secret was about Flex.

I can never keep a secret from Flex. He scares me.

You should tell Flex.

Well, that's why I went to the hospital.

But he was with Tanya.

And then I tried telling him today, but he was with Tanya again.

God, I don't know what to do. I'm so in love with Flex.

He's all I think about.

I knew it. I knew it. She loves me. She loves the Flex man. He is the man, but

she can't have him because he has a girlfriend.

I have a girlfriend.

I'll see you later.

Fleck.

Oh, hey, hey, Danielle.

I was just reading the newspaper.

Yeah, so you were visiting Dwayne, huh? Yeah, yeah. I was just borrowing a cup

of sugar. Oh, I see.

From Dwayne.

He was out.

Of sugar.

I got some sugar.

Hey, baby!

Danielle! Hey, Tanya, I was just reading the newspaper.

Dwayne's out of sugar.

Baby, do you remember my friend Esther?

Yeah, hey, Esther.

Mm -hmm.

Esther and I were out shopping, and she had a great idea.

Mm -hmm.

Since we're back together again, we're going to have a back -together -again

-again party.

And, of course, you're invited, too, Danielle.

How about tomorrow night?

Oh, no, no. Tomorrow night I have a really important session.

Not if you had said Friday. Oh, well, then we can change it to Friday. Is that

okay with you, baby?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess.

Friday it is. This is going to be so great.

Oh, my friends, your friends getting along like one big happy...

I'm already hit by a landslide.

I don't have to stuff the box.

Oh, how decent of you.

Spirit, I don't cheat just for the sake of cheating.

Only when you're not winning.

Yeah, exactly.

Not just hold the flashlight.

Oh, Spirit Jones, but hot as hottie.

No, wait, let me see. I'm just playing.

Oh, my God.

Somebody's coming. Oh, my mom was right. That's what I get for running around

with your little face.

I will hook your rims up.

Shrimp. Psycho.

How old do you want some shrimp? Oh, don't mind if I do.

Baby.

Yes, Snookums. We need some more shrimp.

Coming up, sweetie.

Mwah.

See, this is good.

If you don't want to party together, we're a couple. It's our fate.

I'm crazy about her.

I'm lucky to have Danielle.

I mean, what's her name?

Tanya. Yeah, that's right, Tanya.

This was a great idea.

And look at Flex.

I mean, you have to admit, he has changed.

He seems to be the same to me as he was three years ago. He was a player then.

He's a player now.

Oh, uh, more shrimp? Dumb it up.

There's your problem right there.

If you weren't so caught up, you'd see what was going on right under your nose.

Oh, please.

Danielle was Flex's therapist. Their relationship is strictly platonic. And

she's married.

Then where's the husband?

Hey, hey, hey.

Excuse me. Hey, hold that, brother.

What are you doing here?

Tanya invited me. I had no choice.

How can you expect me to keep your secret with you and Flex in the same

can't do it. Look, look, leave. Now, before I... Hey, Danielle.

Before Flex sees it.

Hey, Flex.

Oh, are those shrimp?

Are you okay?

Well, now that you mention it, maybe I should leave. I'm not feeling so good.

Maybe you should try chewing your shrimp first.

Hi, Danielle.

Glad you could make it.

I was hoping you'd bring your husband.

Oh.

No, no, no, we're separated.

Didn't Flex tell you?

No, you didn't.

Okay,

Fitzy, let me know when you find the ballot box so we can stuff it with the

votes for Biffy and Buffy.

for this breaking the law stuff.

I don't know how my parents do it.

Uh, hey, boo.

Fancy meeting you here.

Arnaz, why would you want to stuff the ballot box with votes for Biffy and

Buffy?

No, Biffy, let me explain.

All right, fine. I'll meet you outside.

Arnaz, why don't you want to be cutest couple? Don't you love me?

Of course I love you. Just this whole cutest couple thing.

It's not me. It's not us.

Please, you're adorable.

If you were any cuter, Disney would own the rights to you.

Or at least your likeness.

But Arnaz, what if the school thinks that Biffy and Buffy are cuter than we

They already have that whole name thing.

Ooh, maybe we should change our names to BriBri and A .A.

Who cares what McKinley High thinks?

I do.

This is our legacy.

And when high school is over, we'll have the yearbook to remind us of how cute

and in love we were.

We won't need the yearbook.

In 50 years, I'll just tap you on the shoulder and remind you myself.

Look, Brianna, I don't need people's votes to define our relationship.

I know that I love you, and that's all that matters to me.

Okay, you're right.

How can I argue with that?

So, you really think we'll be together in 50 years?

As long as somewhere in there we're having sex.

We're playing a game.

All right.

This is good. A game will keep my mind off Danielle.

Danielle.

Focus, Flex. Focus.

What's the game, baby?

Well, since we're all friends, let's play 20 questions to find out how much

know about each other. You go first, Flex. Pick a question. I'll pick one for

you.

Oh, this is a good one.

Who here knows the most about you?

Hmm.

Hmm. Honestly, I'd have to say Danielle.

Danielle? Danielle?

Mm -hmm.

Danielle.

Well, I was just there. Yeah, I mean, who are you going to tell your secrets

if not your therapist?

Well, how about your best friend?

Oh, please, man. You haven't been able to keep a secret since the day I met

Oh, really?

If I can't keep a secret, then how come I never told anybody that Danielle told

me that she was in love with you?

Please, that's no secret. I heard her when she told you.

Is this true, Danielle? Are you in love with Fleck?

Love? I mean, what is love?

Freud says that...

but that's a yes.

Everybody, get out!

Get out of here right now!

to see the beat down.

It's the last time I try to have your back.

Excuse me, where are you going?

Well, you set everybody out.

I thought, except for the one who's stealing my man was implied.

I'll just have a seat.

Not now, Flex.

Answer my question, Danielle.

Are you in love with Flex?

Yes. Flex, do you feel the same way about her?

Look, everything is moving so fast here. We need to take a step back and try to

figure this thing out. You and I can work this out.

It's our fate, remember?

It's a simple question, Flex. Do you love her or not? Tanya, you asked me

Yes or no?

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

It's just the hospital and the car accident and you being there to take

me. It all seems so right.

Yeah, the whole fate thing. Let it go.

We both got caught up.

Let's face it, we would have ended up here anyway.

Bigfoot over here just fed things up a bit.

Are you talking now?

Because now's not a good time to talk.

Now, if you two lovebirds will excuse me, I'm going back to the hospital to

me a doctor.

I mean, let's face it, that's the real reason why I became a nurse in the first

place. Peace out.

I'm so sorry, Flex. I did not mean for this to happen.

Me either. I was trying to forget about you, but I guess I couldn't.

So?

What are we going to do now?

What, you're asking me?

Obviously, fate's calling the shots on this one.

I would like to kiss you, though, but that's probably too soon.

Yeah, you're right. That's probably too soon.

How about now?

That was good.

I got an advance copy of the yearbook and the perks just keep on coming.

I don't care.

I have my man and I don't need others to validate our love.

Thank you, Biff.

I don't think you want to see it.

Please don't tell me Biffy and Buffy won.

They didn't.

Well, then who did?

Fitzy?

How could Fitzy win cutest couple?

And it doesn't end there.

Love you too, Netta.