Original subtitles

To the east from the sky, I think some folks call it rain.

I don't know why, you folks died in your pain.

We call it Jesus!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

So?

I have never heard anything like that before in my life.

Ever.

Spirit? Yeah, that was the worst. Um, I think what Spirit was about to say was,

um, it's all about your word.

And, um, maybe if you were to get a new lead singer, you would have more time to

concentrate on your songwriting.

That's what I was thinking.

But what would the band sound like without me singing?

Music?

Do not listen to her.

Look, why don't you just ask the band and see how they feel?

Okay.

Hey guys, I've been thinking if we got a new lead singer then Look

how supportive they are

I don't have any money for you, baby.

I'm spending it all on redoing that stupid kitchen as a surprise for your

grandma. Maybe if I'm lucky, she'll hate it and stay away another month.

Dad, I need to talk to Mom. I'm not convinced she's still alive.

Well, I have to get over to Arnaz's.

Oh, Arnaz is back with his mother? I thought she was, uh... No, he has his

apartment. Oh, and you let her go over there?

No. I do not.

Not until she does the dishes.

Okay.

One swoop bars.

And I'm out. All right. Hey, don't be long. You just have to finish our

entries. We have therapy tomorrow, and I don't want you stealing from the old

Cosby reruns.

See, if you walk outside, you got to put on the coat. See, don't put on the

coat.

That's right.

Get jiggy with it.

You have a diary too, Nancy?

It's a journal, Pop, and yes, it's a helpful tool in our therapy.

Therapy? You mean you pay some stranger to tell you what your problem is? No,

Dad, that's what I have you for.

I can't believe you would let your daughter go over to some strange boy's

apartment. Pop, it's Arnaz. I said strange.

There's no telling what they could be doing over there.

Dad, unlike you, I trust my child. We've taken our relationship to a whole other

level. Well, yeah, you need to come back down to planet butt -whooping.

Ah, yes, in the galaxy of... I'll give you something to cry about.

Obviously, Pop, we have different parenting styles.

Well, I would have never let your sister go over to some boy's apartment

unchaperoned.

Bernadette? Oh, I'm sorry, or should I say Miss July in Mechanics Monthly?

And I suppose that's what you talk about in therapy?

What a bad father you think I am?

Please, Dad, we only have an hour in therapy.

Look, I don't want Brianna to graduate, walk out that door, and never want to

come back again.

So I'd appreciate if you'd stay out of it. And if you'd stay out of my closet,

you're stretching out my shirts all up in the air.

One of you is going to be the front man for the next great rock and roll

revolution. We want someone who's going to bring it.

All right, first up, Philbert Kyle Jenkins.

When can you start?

As soon as you get us our own stylist, a vegetarian chef, and a fully loaded

tour bus with the driver of our choice.

And we want a new drummer.

Next.

All right, bye, Dwayne. Bye, Grandpa.

Bye, Grandpa.

That's all I ever hear from you these days.

That and, I'm going to our nazis.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to our nazis.

Uh -oh, Mr. Barnes. Let me ask you. One business owner to another.

Do I have to make a profit before I give myself a $1 ,000 raise?

The idea is to make money, Dwayne.

Right. Right.

Then I'll give myself $2 ,000.

Hey, Pop. What's up, D?

Hey, Fleck. Good news. I just gave myself a raise.

Now I'm going to go out, spend all night celebrating, and then call myself in

sick.

I feel sorry for him.

Dwayne? No, his father.

Imagine going all those years not knowing you had a son, and then you meet

and he's Dwayne.

What's with all the tools, Pop?

Oh, I've just been fixing some things around here you seem to be neglecting,

like this sink and that flickering lamp in your bedroom.

You fixed my lamp?

It's supposed to be that way. It sets the mood.

Oh, please tell me you didn't touch my fog machine.

I thought that was a smoking radio. I tossed that.

Why can't you be like other old people, sit in the park, feed the pigeons, and

try to remember who you are?

Well, excuse me for fixing things.

Back in my day when things were broken, we fixed them, and parents knew what

their children were doing.

So this is about Brown and Arnaz? No, this is about you not knowing how to

your child.

You're too easy on her. She's got no curfew, and you let her run around all

the place with that gypsy girl.

What's her name? Ghost?

Spirit, Pop. My name is Spirit.

You know what? You have two other children. Why don't you go irritate

I heard that.

So you think I'm irritating, huh?

Well, maybe your therapist can give you the tools you need to cope with me.

No, I'm out of here, man.

Where are my keys?

Why aren't my keys in the key dish? That's what the key dish is for. The key

dish are for my keys. Where are my keys?

In the drawer.

The key drawer.

You know what? I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't touch my lamp, my sink, or

anything else that's broke. I like things broke.

That's why I hang out with Dwayne.

I'll touch anything I want to around here, mister. If it wasn't for me, you

wouldn't have any of this stuff. Not this high -tech TV, not this overpriced

couch, and not this fancy leather journal.

Waiting for you to meet Charlie.

Oh, is he cute? No, the important thing is, can Charlie sing?

Yeah, but a cute lead singer can get away with being bad.

Unless it's Arnaz.

I love your bedroom, Arnaz.

Nice to meet Hendrix Foster.

It's cool, isn't it? Yeah.

Um, Arnaz, who is Fifi and why was she in your bedroom?

This is our new singer, Charlie. She's moved here from France.

Yeah. My father just opened a new restaurant.

It's, uh... How do you say?

A subway.

Charlie, this is Spirit and Brianna.

His girlfriend, Brianna.

Oh, I didn't know you had a girlfriend.

Most rockers like to be free.

Yeah, well, this one's on lockdown, Frenchie.

Hey, Charlie, if you have time now, maybe we can get a little rehearsing in.

Hey, whatever you say.

From now on, I'm all yours.

Oh, it was nice to meet you, Bridget.

Countdown, 50.

Hey, Pop, packing up already?

I can't believe they finished the kitchen. I thought it'd take at least a

to get that linoleum off the walls.

Why would I take the linoleum off the walls? That would be like taking the

plastic runners off the shag rugs.

And that kitchen is not ready yet. If your mother calls, tell her I will be

staying at Duane's.

Duane's? Why are you going over to Duane's? Nobody stays there on purpose.

This suffocating, overbearing, demanding father doesn't want to be a bad

influence on your daughter.

He read my journal.

You forgot.

Nosy, stubborn, and oh yeah, I want my shirt back, even if it fits like a

It's wrong

Well, you know what? It must...

bad connection because he's my man. Can you hear me now?

Hey, you guys miss my singing?

That's funny.

I miss your singing, boo, but not as much as I miss your kisses.

We sound great, right?

And Charlie's like, she's just so... I don't even have words for her.

Brianna does.

Me too.

Okay, now together.

They're just trying to get to me.

Well, it's not working.

Shut up!

Grandpa must really be mad at you.

But at least he's not making eyes at Dwayne.

Arnaz's new thing with Charlie keeps coming on to him, and I think he likes

Uh -huh. I knew that boy was gay.

So maybe it's time for you to move on and see some other people.

But, Daddy, I love him.

Love? Brianna, you don't love him. It's just a crush.

Just forget it.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

Look, it's not for me to say whether you're in love or not.

I'm praying for not.

But we can talk about it.

You sure?

Yeah. Sit down.

All right.

So what makes you think this Charlie is interested in Arnaz?

Well, the way she... and how she... Ooh, you wouldn't believe when... I just

know.

You don't think Arnaz is interested in her, do you?

Well, I don't think so.

Well, you should see her up there, all cool and and gyrating, and she's French.

Ooh, Arnaz, croissant, croissant.

Look, baby, relationships are based on trust.

Now, if you really care about him, you got to talk to him. And remember, Talk

slowly. It is Arnaz.

I don't know. Come here.

The song we're singing is about you.

It's called I Wanna Brianna.

Charlie, you help me put it together.

I wanna Brianna?

I wanna crawl in a hole and die.

And I'm asked, I don't want no trouble with your cheerleader girlfriend.

I stop bringing her up.

Brianna, there's no need to be jealous.

Well, I wouldn't say I was jealous. I might have gotten the wrong impression.

Might have put my foot in my mouth, but jealous I am not.

There's no reason to be.

Remember, I want a Brianna.

And I want an Arnett.

Okay.

Okay, well, I'll leave you two alone so you can go back to rehearsing.

Cool.

I'll call you later.

All right.

And then this part here. Arnett.

And then you kiss me.

I think for this one, just me.

The way you crack me up. Back in my day, people used to have sons

like you.

Except me.

Oh, hi, Flex.

Dad, I really think we should talk. Or did you lose your voice from all that

fake laughing?

I'm sorry, son.

Me and Dwayne are in the middle of something.

Yeah, we're playing cast.

Heads up.

Strike one.

Dwayne, why don't you go and get those pictures of your father? I want to get

know the real Dwayne.

You want to get to know me?

Okay.

You came over here to talk me into coming back? Forget it.

I'm having a good time over here.

Weird, but good.

Dad, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but you shouldn't have read my journal.

It's like that time when you found a Victoria's Secret catalog under my bed.

I really was looking for a bathrobe for Mom.

For Christmas.

In July.

Well, why would I be hurt just because you called me suffocating, overbearing,

and demanding?

You meant those things in a good way. Right, Flex?

You did what you thought was best. You were just too strict.

I mean, if you had just trusted me, maybe I wouldn't have constantly tested

boundaries and wouldn't have ended up with Dad at 18.

It's not my fault you thought safe sex meant keeping the car door locked.

Aha, that's where you're wrong. Brianna wasn't conceived in your Cutler Supreme.

She was conceived at the Green Door Motel. How you like me now?

The Green Door Motel.

Those were your matchbooks?

I owe your mother an apology.

All I'm saying is, it would have been nice if we could have talked about what

was going through instead of faking off all the time.

Pop, I love you.

But I don't want things to be the same way between Brianna and me.

Are you saying you're a better father than I was?

Well, you sure as hell didn't turn out so bad.

I put three kids through college, and one of them is on TV and not on an

of Cops.

Dad, I'm not saying you did a poor job, but I don't want it to take 20 years for

Brianna to tell me how she really feels.

That's why we're going to therapy.

You mean you're not there because of me?

No, I'm there because of Brianna.

And the therapist is kind of hot.

Hey, Grandpa. Hey, sweetie.

I just wanted to tell you that you were right and everything's cool with me and

Arnaz, but I'm still looking out for Charlie.

So does this mean you two made up?

I don't know.

Dad?

Yeah.

I guess I'm realizing there are a lot of different ways to be a good parent.

And from what I see in front of me, we both did a pretty good job.

Now, let's get out of here before Dwayne comes back. He likes to be held after

he cries, and I am not in the mood.

The whole thing out of mind, it's all the rocking back and forth and back, and

then you got to rub his ear and all that.

Definitely keep your eyes on her.

Love you too, Netta.