Original subtitles

All right, Daddy.

You know, this is my first time voting, so I'm going to have some big questions.

I've waited for this day. When you would come to me to have a serious talk about

our political process. So lay it on me.

Okay. What outfit should I wear?

Should I wear this outfit that says I'm concerned about the issues but still

sexy? Or should I wear this outfit that says I may be a little conservative, but

I'm still a rebel?

Rihanna, voting is a privilege, not a fashion statement.

Go with the rebel.

I'm doomed!

Don't try to stop me, Flex.

I'm jumping!

I just don't add on my truck.

Don't you even want to know why I'm jumping?

We trust your judgment.

Before you kill yourself, it's my first time voting. So, which one?

Sexy or rebel? I'm talking about ending my life and all you can think about is

yourself?

Yeah, go with rebel. Thank you.

Well, now that I've solved her problem, man, who's going to help me solve mine?

Look at this.

Oh, $20 ,000 in charges.

Oh, just make sure you land in front of a bus. Go ahead.

Those charges aren't mine.

I'm the victim of identity theft.

Wait, who would want to be you?

Very funny.

You guys are going to miss me when I'm in prison. Oh, relax, D. You're not

to go to prison.

Fraud happens all the time.

Those credit card companies are not going to hold you responsible for those

charges. Really?

Yeah, that's why they're insured.

Man, that guy could buy everything in the Sharper Image catalog with your

card, and you would not have to pay a dime.

Wouldn't have to pay a dime, huh? No, not at all. Huh.

But, Dwayne, would you like to go shopping?

Why, yes, I would. You treat me so well. Well, you deserve it.

I'll get you something.

When there's nobody

Larry's picture on them, not yours.

I know, baby. I was making this one for you.

Who's your mayor?

You, boo.

I can't believe Larry Eldridge is your cousin.

He's got charisma, he's got style, and he is fine.

If he was my cousin, we'd be taking this relationship to West Virginia.

If he was your cousin, he'd be on lockdown.

And just because Constantine Eldridge is your cousin doesn't mean you have to

vote for him.

Uh, yes, I do.

Oh, really? Why?

Daddy, can you tell Arnaz why our family always votes for Cousin Larry?

Sit down.

Because he's family, and you know how your grandpa is.

Never go against the family.

Especially when it comes to Larry, the golden child.

My daddy and my cousin Larry are always competing with each other. Well, your

dad's all right, but your cousin Larry, he's smart and powerful.

He's like a chocolate Kennedy.

Oh, he is not all that.

Ever since we were kids, all I ever heard was, you should be more like your

cousin Larry.

He went to Harvard. He was the youngest city councilman in Baltimore history.

The Clintons invited him to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom.

Oh, yeah?

Well, Puppy didn't invite him to the all -white party in the Hanford.

Two years in a row, yo.

All white.

Well, I'm not sure if I'm going to vote for him as mayor or the incumbent Peter

Shepard. and I'm still trying to figure out who to vote for president.

Arnaz, I can't tell you who to vote for for president, but all I can do is tell

you to use your judgment and vote for the least scary white man running.

As long as he's cute.

Spirit, you can't pick a candidate based on how he looks. If that's the case,

Denzel will be president, and I'll be vice president.

We'll be the two fine Washingtons.

I mean, really.

This is a really important election for Baltimore, and nationally, too.

And not just because of the Supreme Court nominations or gun control.

See, Daddy?

He's not just all muscle.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the next mayor of

Baltimore,

the one who stole the trophy from the last family reunion by cheating in the

three -legged race.

I didn't cheat.

They didn't say nothing in the rule books about roller skates.

Loopholes, Flex. You gotta look for the loopholes.

Potholes. I'm looking at the potholes.

When you gonna fix the streets, Councilman? Flex.

Flex, flex, now play nice. Remember, Larry has hooked it up for us to play at

the country club today. You know, there was a day when people like us couldn't

get in there.

Yeah, well, unless you change your clothes, we still ain't gonna get in

Wow, Brianna, I got to admit, I really appreciate you getting my voice out to

McKinley High.

First -time voters are very important.

Yes, I know. I can't wait. I've been reading all my voting pamphlets and been

studying all of those propositions.

That's good. You're doing your homework.

And it's also good you're voting for me. You know, a first -time voter like

yourself normally stays loyal, which is good for future elections.

Who knows, maybe one day you could be voting for me to be president.

What?

You for president?

Man, who in their right mind would want to vote for a bedwetter?

That's right, I said it. Pee all up in the bed, all in your Shazam pajamas.

Cut me, Flex.

Cut me deep.

Just like when Knicks cut you.

Vote for Eldridge!

Vote for Eldridge! Down with Eldridge!

Down with Eldridge! Vote for Eldridge!

Hey, where have you guys been?

I thought you were upstairs putting up posters.

We put them up and then these people came along.

They are just as fired up about the election as we are. And they have

is trying to close McKinley because of budget cuts. So we're only going to

school for half the year?

I'm not sure I'm mad at that.

No, shut McKinley down for good.

Why do they always cut back the arts?

Why don't they cut back something we don't use?

Like math.

Or geography.

I mean, for real, who needs geography when we can just look stuff up on

MapQuest?

Maybe it's propaganda.

My Larry wouldn't do this. He's got... class.

Did you see those shoes he had on?

Gators.

My mom would probably hate him for it because, you know, the whole animal

but once I'm first lady of Baltimore, I'm sure she'll get over it.

Look, you guys, I'm sure my family wouldn't back Cousin Larry if they knew

supported something like this. Maybe they don't have all the information.

Well, don't you think they ought to know?

I mean, voting is a privilege.

You shouldn't just give it away.

You're right.

And before I go to the polls, I want to know everything there is to know.

So come on, let's go to the rally and hear what they have to say.

Yeah, because I want to know why they're hating on my man.

This club's kind of long, don't you think, Dwayne?

Well, I figure as long as Dwayne is rich, he's also going to be very, very

You're going to need a lawyer if you think you can get away with this. Come

man, look, I just want to live the life that this guy is stealing from me for

24, 48, 72 hours.

You're absolutely right.

I think Baltimore would be the perfect place for a nuclear power plant.

Yeah, why invest in the sun?

It can't burn forever.

My cousin Larry.

And I'll make sure it gets to the boys' club of America.

Larry, you make the family so proud, keeping up our tradition of being

It warms my heart to see you following your father's footsteps, unlike some

people.

I'm sorry, Pop, that I don't share your love for hair or Larry's love for

polyester.

Flex, why you hate me?

I'm your cousin. We grew up together.

I want to be close with you.

But you won't even go on the campaign trail with me.

Is it because I'm prettier than you?

Prettier than me? Come on, man, you got a handful of teeth, man.

Boy, I can't endorse any candidate, man.

Now, I'm a journalist who's both local and national with a syndicated talk

No, you're a sports reporter.

I mean, you're not even a real journalist. They don't show you until

over. I mean, you're on even after the weather.

Councilman Eldridge, over here. About time.

What's going on?

Well, since you don't want to come on the campaign trail with me, I brought it

to you, cousin.

Mr. Nationally Syndicated.

It's called good old finger -licking politicking.

I hope you choke on a wing.

That's okay, as long as it's a right wing.

Vote for Larry.

Lex Washington, can we assume you're playing golf with Councilman Eldridge

you endorse him?

Oh, Tammy, I'm just playing a friendly round of golf with my cousin.

But who would play golf with family they don't vote for?

And by the way, Tammy, you still rolling?

Well, let me show you my good side, then. In that case, I'll vent over.

How about that course Larry took us to, huh, son?

I haven't seen grass that green since I picked out those plots for me and your

mother.

Oh, that's great, Dad. I'm going to get something cold to drink.

Well, I have a little Chris -style chili in my new Sub -Zero.

Which I'm returning tomorrow.

Or the day after that.

Or the day after that.

How about that, Larry? Huh, Dad?

Trying to ambush me with all that press.

Not that I don't look good on camera.

He's so political. He's a politician, Flex.

And he's family. You should be out there supporting him.

Why aren't you out there supporting him? Dad, you know how I hate getting into

discussions about politics.

Especially when it comes to Larry.

No, I don't.

Say what you feel, son.

I am not feeling Larry for mayor.

What are you talking about?

That's just nonsense.

He's a wonderful candidate. He's family. And I don't want to hear another word

about it. He seems to end up on the wrong side of the issues.

And we fall right in line with him because he's family.

That's absurd. Like when?

Like when the new stadium was built.

All the other councilmen got tickets for everybody in the neighborhood. Not

Larry. He made sure his corporate friends and his country club buddies had

tickets. Do you know how many people in this city can't afford to see a baseball

game? See, now that's where you're wrong.

I was there opening day, and all I had to do was cut his hair and park his car.

Breaking news.

Apparently, the students at McKinley School of the Performing Arts are

protesting Councilman Larry Eldridge in his bid for mayor.

and are staging a protest right here in the school's gymnasium.

That's Brianna's school.

How did she let that happen?

You're supposed to be shouting for Larry, not against him. I'm sure Brianna

not involved in this, Pop.

I

got

the bubbly.

Although with the new Sub -Zero, it's more like, oh.

Champagne slushie.

What's this?

That's a McKinley High School protest being led by my granddaughter against

cousin Larry.

Pop, don't worry about it. Nobody watches the afternoon news.

We'll have full coverage of the Eldridge protest at 5, 6, and 11.

Back to you, Stan.

Lex, you've got to go get Brianna.

She is on TV protesting against the family.

Uh, Pop, she's not one of the Sopranos.

Look, she's only doing what you've done and what I've done.

You marched with Dr. King for civil rights. I marched with Stevie Wonder for

King holiday.

I mean, the way I see it, she's keeping up with the family tradition, learning

the power of her right to vote and to speak out. Well, I hope those cops who

just came in there are as understanding as you are.

5 -0. I got to get my baby.

Brianna, what are you doing?

Participating in a nonviolent political protest.

And effective change.

Hey, can I borrow $10?

They're not taking me seriously without the T -shirt.

Uh, yeah, Arness, it's the T -shirt.

All right, come on, Brianna, we going.

Uh -uh, Daddy, I'm not going anywhere.

Down with my cousin Larry!

Listen, baby, I think it's great that you're standing up for what you believe

and that you're the facilitator for change.

But do you realize if you go to jail that you're going to have to pee in

of a bunch of strangers?

But, Daddy, if cousin Larry becomes mayor...

He's talking about shutting down McKinley and anything that has to do

arts. Just to save money.

It's just like him not to appreciate something that doesn't put money in his

pocket. Art hater.

And to think, he used to eat his crayons.

That's why we're doing this, Daddy. To get the word out there so people won't

vote for him.

So, Mr. Washington, are you with us?

Somebody else asked me.

Are you with us? Somebody else, please.

So, are you with us, Daddy?

Finally. Yes, yes. I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you. Here.

Down with Larry!

Down with Larry! Down with Larry! Down with Larry!

Down with Larry! Down with Larry!

Welcome to Town About Town. I'm Tammy Tao.

Young America's fascination with voting has taken McKinley High by storm.

Yeah, Tammy, it's a registration storm.

The loon and slum village is definitely in the house. We're making sure anybody

out there that want to be heard, come on out and register on November 2nd. Come

on out and vote.

Yeah, yeah. Remember what happened in 2000.

Every vote counts, B -more. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'd like to give a shout -out. What up there, Detroit Eastside?

Apparently, every vote does count.

What started out as an innocent protest by the students is quickly becoming a

potential disaster for Councilman Larry Eldridge and his quest for mayor.

Despite his lead in the polls, this outcry from Baltimore's youth could sway

outcome. I'm going to try to interview one of the protesters now.

Excuse me, protester.

Could you tell the people of Baltimore exactly what you hope to achieve with

this protest?

We're trying to show the people what Councilman Eldridge stands for.

If you care about art, if you care about culture, if you care about inner city

kids being in a controlled environment and not in your house, you would not

for a man who would cut arts programs.

No justice, no peace, no thieves.

Thank you.

Relax, Washington.

Hey, Tammy Town, what are you doing about town?

For those of you who don't know, this is Flex Washington of WYNX, one of the

smaller affiliates. Number one sports show, newly syndicated talk show, The

Files. That's why right now I'll change the channel.

They can't change the channel, Flex. They can't take their eyes off this

protest. And they're all wondering how you could be supporting Councilman

Eldridge this morning.

Yet you're protesting him right now.

Well, Tammy, see, I know it's unorthodox for a journalist to express his

political opinion, but come on now, I'm on after the weather.

And besides, my daughter reminded me of something that I should have never

forgotten. To stand up for what you believe in! Yeah!

Even if that means voting against your own cousin?

That's right, if he's wrong.

And Closer McKinley is wrong.

These children are our future, and I believe in them.

That is all the time we have for today.

And thank you for showing us what the world would be like without the arts.

to you, Stan.

Well, I never thought I'd see the day when my children and my children's

children would be in shackles.

I know, Dad, but isn't it more important that these kids see that with their

vote, they can change things?

You're right, son.

And that's why I came down here.

To do something important.

Who here is 18 and not registered to vote?

Grandpa, you're joining our protest?

Baby, my knees are too old to protest. And I'm still voting for Larry.

But I wanted to support my children.

Just like I say, one family.

One voice. So?

Vote or die.

Vote or die.

Vote or die.

Vote or die.

Vote or die. Vote or die.

Vote or die.

No.

What is wrong with you people's security?

No.

$3 ,700.

41 -inch high -definition flat -screen television, $5 ,000.

Not having to pay for anything?

Priceless.

Oh, yeah.

And the new treadmill came on in.

Working like a charm.

We'll be back with more election night coverage.

Well, you can't say your vote didn't make a difference.

I'm proud of you, baby.

Thanks, Daddy. I'm proud of you, too.

My little baby's growing up.

Maybe one day you'll run for president.

Yeah, and I'll be the first man.

And it's just what Washington needs, another dummy.

And in the presidential race, it looks like the youth of America voted in

droves, not only locally...

The projected winner is...

Hey, Dee, I'm glad

to see you finally decided to return this stuff, man. Of course I'd return

stuff. I have no idea why the person who stole my identity would have it all

delivered to my apartment.

You know, I'm still trying to figure out who would want to be you in the first

place. I'm staying at the Bellagio, going to eat dinner at Aqua, and have

hot... Men up to my penthouse suite every night.

No harm, no foul.

Especially when some of the chump's paying for it.

Oh, it's a new day, Celine.

Woo -hoo!

Love you too, Netta.